Phineas and Ferb s02e05 Episode Script

There's our new pet Goldie.
I wonder if we're as cute to her as she is to us? Yeah.
Yeah, we are.
What can we do for Goldie since she's already done so much for us? A marine-life aquarium? Great idea, Ferb! Let's build the best ever of one of these and give Goldie that special home she deserves.
Does that sound good to you, Perry? So it's unanimous.
Hey, where's Candace? Candace? Where are you? What are you doing? Waiting for Jeremy to call.
You see, last night, at the movies, he said he was going to call soon.
So I calculate that "soon" must mean first thing in the morning, since "soon" can't refer to a period in excess of or equal to 24 hours, give or take a 59 minute cushion of time, on either side of the event in question.
See? I had it all figured out right here on this notepad.
I even showed my math! Uh Wait! Maybe I should have carried the one instead of dividing by Jeremy's face.
Well, I'm off to my favorite author's book signing.
Try not to freak out on your brothers while I'm gone.
Mom! I don't frea– Oh, my gosh! The square root of "soon" is "never"! I got the filter done.
How's the water coming? Herman! Are you taking a shower? No.
Well, you need one! There you go, Goldie! Your new home! It's huge, it's amazing, it's– it's lonely.
We need to get her some friends.
Hey, say, aren't you boys a little young to man a fishing vessel? Why, yes.
Yes, we are.
Oh, alright then.
Hey, where's Perry? Oh, Agent P.
Uh pardon the newspapers, but, uh We have a lot of new young recruits coming through here today, and, well They're not, uh trained yet.
Anyway, Doofenshmirtz has recently purchased the Tri-State Area's entire supply of bratwurst.
Get to the bottom of it.
Oh, and, uh Watch your step on the way out.
Goldie, how do you like your new friends? No! That was cool enough to be in one of those trained marine animal shows.
Hmm.
Ferb, I know what else we're gonna do today.
Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated! Yoo-hoo! Perry the Platypus! Say hello to the Platypus Secret Agent Arrival In Order To Foil My Evil Plot Capture-inator! Or as I like to call it, my P.
S.
A.
A.
I.
O.
T.
F.
M.
E.
P.
C.
-inator.
I made it up myself.
Enough chit-chat! Let me tell you my latest evil scheme.
You see, back before I was evil, I was something a little less than evil.
I was a bratwurst street vendor.
Doofenshmirtz Quality Bratwurst What? They have those.
See? Nobody remembers them.
You know why? Because of the hot dog vendors! Oh, how I hated them! They had it all! They had chrome-plated carts and endorsement deals.
Fancy blimps! And what did we have? Only superior workmanship, finer meats, and exotic spices.
I was sure that it was just a matter of time before the public would recognize our superior quality.
How do you know when you're really lame? When you sell bratwurst! Then and there, I swore I would get my revenge.
Behold! the Hot-Dog-Vendor-Revenge-inator! Or my H.
D.
V.
R– i-inat I– I have to work on my acronyms.
Here's how it works.
The Revenge-inator sets off a freon blast to an unsuspecting hot dog vendor encasing their hot water boilers in a sheet of ice, and rendering their hot dogs cold and soggy.
And once I've taken the hot out of the dog, they'll be forced to sell my bratwursts instead! Don't roll your eyes at me! It's a good plan! Sorry to go off on you like that, Perry the Platypus, but sometimes you just, oh, really push my buttons! Oh, I can't take anymore! I'm just gonna call him! (Song: When Will He Call Me?) Hoo-hoo-hoo hoo hoo-hoo When will he call me? When will it ring? Sometimes I think my sanity is hanging by a shoe string! When will he call me? How long is soon? Should I check my watch, my calendar, or phases of the moon? And he doesn't have to call me, he can e-mail me or text me, But all this hanging by the phone has really vexed me I checked my messages, you know how it affects me 'Cause finding nothing in my inbox really wrecks me When will he call me? (Ooh waa aah aah) When will he call me? When will he call me? Should I check my watch, my calendar or phases of the moon? Hey, what's with all these kids? That's what I thought! Phineas and Ferb! I've so got them this time! I can't send that to Mom! 'Scuse me! Comin' through! One side! Hey! No cuttin' in line! It's my backyard! I outrank you! Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Goldie's Aqueous Extravaganza.
Uh-oh! Ladies and gentlemen, our sister, Candace! Phineas! That's the spirit, Candace! Everybody! Make this fish put me down! It's a mammal, Candace! Meap.
Way to go, Candace! How did I get in this fish show?! Mammal.
Whatever! Wow! You're a natural, Candace! Hey-hey, look at that! Ferb, where did the octopus come from? Must.
Take.
Picture! Send! I've gotta tell you, I read your first book and I love it.
Do you have a high-strung teen at home? Uh, you could say that.
Ooh, this must be her.
She sent you a picture? Let me see.
Well Okay.
How bad can it be? After all, I've been through with own– Oh.
I think maybe you need the rest of the set.
Uh and why don't you take a whack at that first book again? And now, Perry the Platypus, it is time for revenge! Goodbye, hot dog street ven– Oh, what the–?! How did you get out of my trap? A decoy? That doesn't even make any sense! But, okay, I surrender, I'm a reasonable man.
I know when it's time to fight back! Waa-ha! Woo-ho-ho.
Your hot dog is no match for my bratwurst! No, no, no, just kidding! I– But I made you look, didn't I? Huh? Huh? Wait a minute, is that Jeremy? What's he doing here? Hey, Candace, did you get my messages? Messages? Eleven messages? He called me! Whoo! Go, Candace! Not so hotsy-totsy now! Are you, Perry the Platypus? Fire.
He called me! I can't believe he really called me! What happened to all the fish? Oh-oh, my! Wow! You were great back there! Thanks! Great show, Ferb! I don't remember freezing the tank being part of the finale, but that rocked! Looks like it didn't freeze all the way through.
Nice.
Eh, so what? Big deal.
So it missed it's initial target.
A minor setback.
No, wait! You'll disrupt the pile's equilibrium! Well, hot diggity do– Curse you, Perry the Platypus!! I've been trying to call all day.
Uh Do you wanna go do something? Oh, my gosh, yes! Really, you didn't even look at your messages? Yeah.
I know.
That's okay, Candace.
You looked like you were pretty busy.
Mom! Hi, Mrs.
Flynn.
Hi, Jeremy.
You have to come to the backyard! Phineas and Ferb built a whole aquarium with whales and everything! I'll call ya in a little while.
You'll see! Ta-da! Hi, Mom! Look, honey! I brought you a book.
Did Jeremy just say he'll call me in a little while? How long is that supposed to be? Well, I guess Goldie and her friends are headed to the ocean.
Well, you know what they say.
If you love something, set it free.
Yeah, we do that every day with Perry.
Oh, there you are, Perry, we were just talkin' about you.
Are you takin' a shower now? Yes.