Porn and Ice Cream (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

1
-Hey!
-Excuse me.
-Could
-What's up, Pablo?
-Hey, what's up?
-Great show.
Thanks.
Here! A beer?
-Don't you have a voucher?
-Voucher?
Sandro always gives us
some vouchers for drinks.
Not to me.
He's a cheapskate anyway.
Ever notice
he turns off the AC to save money?
Yeah, I think my blood pressure is low.
-Oh.
-Want some Coke?
I don't do hard drugs anymore. Thanks.
I meant soda. It's got sugar.
-Oh, sure.
-Excuse me!
You reach a certain age
and this starts to happen, you know?
Speak for yourself, I'm great.
-Are you okay?
-Yeah.
-Worn-out clothes
-Worn-out
Power
Rather dead
September flowers
As we walk
We head to the narco-park
Who are they?
Rude Brats.
They're a popular band.
Fragility, fragility
They're number one
in the Spotify playlist,
"This Is a Spotify Playlist."
Are they cool?
They're very rude.
Normal life
PORN AND ICE CREAM
Thirteen, fourteen, fifteen thousand.
-Where's the rest?
-Rest?
It's unfair, Sandro.
We killed it without seeing a cent,
while you take all the money.
Do you think the Incestuous is profitable?
No, it's all loss.
The coat check is what pays the bills.
How do these musicians survive?
I don't get it.
They come from money.
But they look like bums.
No, that one over there,
his mom owns land.
That one is the daughter of a banker.
And his dad invented Dijonnaise.
Look at that.
And what, does that guy own Patagonia?
No, that's just
a regular middle-class guy.
Sandro, we should still talk
about money, because
It's so hot.
If I had a bra, I'd take off my shirt.
I just moved into an apartment
without AC or even a fan.
Construcasa has a sale
on standing fans right now.
Oh, good tip.
Yeah, and they're pretty good.
Do you get a commission from Construcasa?
Yeah, I work there.
So the fans actually are good?
Sure they are.
I wouldn't recommend them otherwise.
Give me your number.
You sure are direct.
I meant so I could send you the catalog.
Right. Take it down.
We could also get together,
if you want to.
All right, sure.
What's up?
It's hot, isn't it?
Grandpa, are you lost?
Do you need help?
Why "grandpa?"
-Take his picture.
-He's drooling.
Why are you calling me that?
-Stop staring.
-Old man!
What's up, Pablo?
Who are you?
Desimone. We went to school together.
-This is my son.
-How are you?
Ceci.
Ceci, I'm down here.
-I can't see you.
-I'm down here.
No
-What happened?
-Bitcoin.
I'm so sorry.
It's all right.
Why did you want to see me?
I need your advice.
I want The Feeble-Minded
to take the next step.
I mean, start earning more.
I get it. For The Feeble-Minded
to make more
and some artichoke.
What? I didn't catch that.
What The Feeble-Minded have to do
wham! Bam! Thank you, ma'am.
There's a lot of trucks passing by.
Listen to what I'm saying.
What you have to do is turn around
So then we should
-And?
-Snackarella!
-Tomatella?
-Exactly!
Perfect.
How do I get The Feeble-Minded
to play in Normapalusa?
You fill out the form in the AFIP website.
Then, you wait to audition.
Perfect.
Watch out, you have to
print out the form today before 6:00 p.m.
Print out? Where do I find a printer?
That's the challenge!
There are no printers anymore.
I know where there's a printer!
Thanks, Bermúdez.
Hey, one last thing.
-What?
-It's important that
with a latex mask!
It came out magenta, Ramón.
It's the last cartridge we've got.
Black is discontinued.
-Who's blowing up your phone?
-Camila, the girl from the Incestuous.
She asked me out for ice cream.
No!
What are you doing?
Answering her.
You don't answer immediately, Ramón.
You wait between seven and 11 hours.
Why? I could answer her right now.
I didn't make the rules.
But she invited me
for ice cream this afternoon.
If I answer in seven hours,
it'll be 1:00 a.m.
It's already 6:00 p.m.?
A quarter to.
I'm running late.
Don't use question or exclamation marks.
"Hahaha" is "LMAO."
And use acronyms!
If I text "I love you,"
that should be "ILY"?
Never say "I love you!"
ALARM SE
-Dad.
-What's up, son?
-Today is Thursday?
-Yes.
Today, we get together
with my fellow crossdressers.
Tonight's theme
is "Dancing with the Stars."
Anyway, I'm gonna be Enana Feudale.
Moria and Nacha were taken.
Dad, could you do my makeup?
Oh, son
I wouldn't feel comfortable
with you there.
Though you could be Xipolitakis.
With her old nose, obviously.
No, I don't want to join you.
Could you make me look younger?
I love it.
I love challenges!
Let's get to work.
Done!
What are you looking at, jackass?
Hey.
What's up?
Who's this freak?
Your mom's a freak. Give me a beer.
Guys, you can't take all the beer.
Stop busting our balls, Sandro.
Pablo. You look different.
"Pablo. You look different."
Did you get castrated?
Don't mock me, I have a glandular problem.
What's up? I'm Jaime.
This asshole is Luki.
This slut is Amelia. I'm Rosa.
I couldn't give a shit.
Let's blow this joint.
It full of old people.
Totally. I hate old people.
-It smells of adult diapers.
-Let's go.
Wait, how old are you?
-Twenty.
-Oh, I thought you were a minor.
TURN OFF
You should write,
"What's up? I just saw it.
"Sure, we should get together some day."
Or something vague like that, got it?
Like you're into it, but barely.
Hi, Ramón - What's up?
Do you want to get an ice cream?
You're such a moron!
Stop!
-You're gonna wake up my folks!
-Stop pushing!
This room sucks, Pablo.
Fuck my grandma, I'm out of booze.
You got booze, Pablo?
Let's steal some whisky from your old man.
-That works.
-Yeah, that.
What if we drink some water,
just to mix it up?
-Did he say "water"?
-Holy water.
-Oh, water.
-Are you a nun?
You stupid fucking bastards,
go fuck yourselves.
Who are these guys?
That one is Ramón, and beside him
That's my older brother.
He looks like shit.
-Totally.
-He's a grandpa.
-Really old.
-Old and ugly.
He's fucked up, right?
He's a bit older.
Not by much.
-Total virgins.
-A band? Go get a job.
CHOLESTEROL PILL
Fucking good-for-nothing dumbasses.
What are you doing, Pablo?
Are you popping pills on your own?
What's up?
Yeah, I popped a pill, so what?
-Share, you asshole.
-Share.
You motherfucking junkies.
Here.
What is this? Why does it taste like shit?
Yeah, it tastes like dick.
Are you a faggot?
How do you know what dick tastes like?
Yeah, I suck dick once in a while.
Why? Are you homophobic?
No, I also suck a ton of dicks.
Cocksuckers.
You wanna talk about cocksuckers?
Go fuck yourselves.
Jesus Christ, what's going on in there?
Son of a bitch.
Look at the time!
-Mom?
-Your dad and I are sleeping.
It's the computer.
"I don't understand
if you want us to meet.
"I'd like to, so I'm up for it."
I think she wants to see me.
It's clearly a trap, Ramón.
She wants a date she can say no to.
But I think she really wants to see me.
If I were you, I'd ask her to move in.
That's how we lesbians do it.
Send her this. Write.
"Let's fuck."
-Hey.
-No.
Then send her a dick pic.
Don't be gross. Don't do that, Ramón.
What's up, assholes?
Why are you insulting us?
Sorry, I was around some youngsters
and they talk like that.
They also have these great images
with words on them.
They're very funny.
-Memes?
-Yeah, that.
I love memis.
So what do I do? What do I reply?
If she just texted, wait a few hours.
I don't agree with that.
If I see a message, I answer.
Why speculate?
Are you getting laid, Pablo?
-No.
-Exactly.
Okay, now that we're all here,
I've got good news.
We're playing at Normapalusa.
-Yes!
-Yeah!
A round of whisky?
-Yes!
-Yeah!
Why is the whole bar celebrating?
They'll take any excuse to drink.
You will have to audition, though.
I did my part, so don't make me look bad.
So let's toast, too.
Right. Graciela,
bring over some beers, you bitch.
Want me to kick your ass, you brat?
I'm sorry.
But thanks for calling me a brat.
INCESTUOUS
I open my chest to the rain
I sing to the moon
I fall asleep in the warmth
Of a sun that illuminates life
Drying the thorn of Páez Vilaró
Connected to Pacha
-Is the jury made up of music producers?
-No.
That's Dárgelos' dentist.
She's Iván Noble's nutritionist.
And she waxes Tini.
They don't know anything about music!
Neither do you, and look how far you got.
At Casa Pueblo
Thank you, girls. You're disqualified.
BAND CONTES
THE HIPPIES OF JOSÉ IGNACIO
Nacho and the Cheddars!
Come on!
-Good luck!
-Thanks.
I'm also here, but I can't find you.
What are you doing, Ramón?
-Come on.
-Okay.
-I'm so nervous.
-Settle down, Pablo.
We've still got time.
Next up is The Congressmen,
"I have gray hairs in my beard"
When does Duarte Called
at 11:15 a.m. on a Thursday play?
After Dad's Boobs.
Those girls are great.
After that, I'll Run a Marathon.
What, today?
It's the name of the band.
I'll Run a Marathon.
Anyone Wants to Sleep with Me?
Ramón, are you insane?
It's a band from La Plata.
Anyone Wants to Sleep with Me.
I don't know that one.
The Bar Is on Fire!
-We have to escape!
-The Bar Is on Fire!
Relax, Pablo. It's a popular indie band.
The keyboardist also plays in
Juan Has a Dog Named Juan.
-Okay.
-Your fly is open.
-Where are they from?
-No, your fly really is open.
I made jerseys for you.
-Nice.
-Cool.
So you look your best.
Hey, these aren't our style.
Why the four?
Because there's four of you.
GRADUATED
These are graduation jerseys.
It was all I could find
at the Salvation Army.
When do we play?
Next up are The Rude Brats.
The Rude Brats?
-Yeah, they're a new band.
-I know who they are.
I have to go. I'll be back soon.
-Where?
-Home.
I need to shit,
and I can only shit at home.
I can shit anywhere.
In fact, I just shit behind the couch.
I'll be back soon.
No, but
Pablo!
Pablo!
Let's meet outside the changing rooms
Camila.
You came.
Ramón.
What happened to you?
You took too long to answer my messages.
Yeah, I took a friend's advice and
I had such a crush on you.
I really wanted to go out with you.
Me too.
It's a shame. I'm too old now.
I don't have a problem with that.
I'm married, I've got grandkids.
That's a shame.
Too fucking bad.
For being a drama queen.
What are you doing, Pablo?
We're sleeping, God damn it.
I'm sorry, Mommy. Dad, I need you
to make the mask. It's an emergency.
Now? Are you nuts?
Calm down, Noemí.
Who hasn't had an emergency at some point?
Like that night I mixed up
Britney and Whitney.
I had to run back home
to remove the dark foundation.
We're the bands of Normapalusa
In a contest we aim to win
Aim to win
Black and white images
Of failure
We're not gonna make it
We're gonna die
Will Pablo be able to finish his mask?
Evade reality
Mountains of Polaroids
I don't give a fuck about winning
Let's meet at the corner for a beer
This jury is so weird
I think my ex is already with someone
Feeble-Minded!
-What do we do?
-We go out and play.
Whatever, this festival sucks ass.
No, it's very important.
We need to take this step
to grow as a band.
I'm not playing without Pablo.
Pussy.
Okay, let's go.
Hi
We're The Feeble-Minded.
And this is
-Porn
-Porn and Ice Cream.
This is Porn and Ice Cream.
What's on your face?
One, two, three, four!
You have realized
You're just a creep
You look in the mirror
And want to scream
If you feel abandoned and grim
You will always have
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
Every time
To let off some steam
Pablo!
You woke up
Sandro! I'm hot.
Sandro, turn it down.
That's what you get for mocking my voice!
No! Get it off me.
No, stop!
Stop! No!
No! My face!
It burns!
It's melting!
No!
-Old man!
-Geezer!
No!
I'm not old!
Next.
It's 8,500 pesos each.
Come on, you fucking asshole,
pay for mine.
-For real.
-Come on, jerk.
Pay for your friend, you fucking rat.
Enough, please!
I can't take this anymore!
Stop cursing, please!
Me neither!
I'm going to therapy four times a week
because of these insults.
She's right. It's awful
that we're treating each other this way.
It's affecting me, too,
but I didn't wanna say it.
We can't be like this!
-I'm sorry.
-I love you guys.
I love you, too.
I love you.
You're so nice. I love you.
I'm not old!
I'm not old! No!
I don't wanna eat.
And I'm not taking a bath.
Pablo, I came with Ceci.
I don't want to be in the band anymore.
You'll have to get a replacement.
I know it won't be easy.
Pablo, don't exaggerate. Nothing happened.
Nothing? My humiliating video went viral!
-That's old news already.
-Old like me!
Pablo, don't say that.
I mean, you are old, Pablo.
What's wrong with that?
Old people die!
And they have bad breath!
There's lots of hot old men.
Look at Tom Cruise.
Gabriel Corrado. Lula Da Silva.
Pablo, adulthood is great.
You live alone, you eat whatever you want.
As long as it doesn't give you heartburn.
You watch a ton of TV shows.
You work all day to get 15-day vacations.
You start going to the gym.
At first, you feel good.
But then your back starts hurting.
So you quit. And you keep paying,
because it's auto-renewed.
You'd like to have a partner,
but you don't have time
because you're always tired.
Because you work all day.
So you stay at home. And watch TV shows.
And life turns into
an infinitely repeating loop
until you're not sure
why you bother waking up anymore.
All right, how about some denial?
Life should be lived
without thinking too much.
Until one day you die.
So Pablo, go take a bath, please.
Then go find a job.
-Okay.
-And you, Ramón
Therapy, okay?
You can make coffee in the kitchen.
That's the copy machine there.
It's very simple.
My son used to do it, but I promoted him.
Buy, sell, go up, go down.
Bermúdez?
Ceci, that's a dog. I'm here.
Maybe someone cursed you or something.
-Sure.
-Looking good. What happened?
-Bitcoin.
-Right.
I sent for you because
I know, we fucked up bad.
I know. I did my part.
I printed and filled the form.
But Pablo screwed up, he wore a mask,
it melted
The screenwriters are out of ideas.
Relax, Normapalusa doesn't matter anymore.
After Pablo's video,
Porn and Ice Cream went viral.
I got a call from Spotify.
They want to include it in the
"This Is a Spotify Playlist" playlist.
What? Spotify calls you?
Yeah, all the time.
They love talking over the phone.
What does that mean?
What will happen to the band?
Cecilia
Things are coming.
-Bermúdez?
-I'm here.
I dropped my newspaper.
That's still a dog, Ceci.
Okay, let me believe.
Hi, my name is Sabrina from Ciudadela.
I'd like to request Porn With Ice Cream.
Congratulations on the radio show.
It helps a lot with my depression.
You have realized
You're just a creep
-Ceci!
-What?
Graciela, turn on the radio!
Just lazy bums living off the state
and refusing to work.
The state is paying them with our taxes
Not the taxi driver's station,
any other station.
Porn and ice cream
Porn and ice cream
I'm actually liking this adulthood thing.
Making copies, watching shows.
Having heartburn.
Pablo!
-What is it? I don't get it.
-The song is playing everywhere!
What?
I quit, Desimone. Go fuck yourself!
Why do you insult me, Pablo?
I gave you a job.
You're right. I'm sorry. Thanks.
Hey, I didn't jump!
Let's do it again.
One of my eyes is closed!
One last time.