Represent (2023) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[jovial music playing]
[Yasmine] Even if our "Eat well, for free"
initiative has won over Guadeloupe,
we're still trailing
in the polls across the board.
From the Landes to the Alpes-Maritimes,
it's Cognard, Cognard, Cognard.
[sighs]
That's the south.
It'll never be on our side.
They're full-on right wing.
I know them. I go to Saint-Tropez.
We must focus on Western France.
Vendée, Brittany, Normandy.
These are left-wing territories.
There, we can make it.
We have to arrange a meeting with Andréï,
working together,
like a harmonious alliance.
Very Mitterrand in '81, you know?
- Just two men strolling along
- [William] Yeah.
- the historic D-Day landing beaches
- [William] Ah, yeah
like, "The threat's here,
but we're strong."
[scoffs]
That's giving me goosebumps.
- Totally. It's great. It's amazing.
- Yeah, it's good.
It's fine.
- Yeah, it's cool.
- It's excellent.
[seductive music playing]
We'd make a great team, you and I.
Really, I'm telling you.
We should continue working together,
ideally hand in hand.
Yeah, if you weren't a piece of shit.
[sighs] Come on, now. You really have to
Look, Yasmine, I can see
in your eyes that you respect me.
I feel like you're even,
and I could be wrong, but charmed.
Because
I've personally gotten used to the hijab.
Honestly, it's a nice style.
It reminds me of Mother Teresa.
Sexier, of course, but let's not
I don't mean to
[seductive music resumes]
Anyway, Guadeloupe was great.
It was awesome.
People really liked
the whole thing with Marion.
We should put
the final nail in the coffin.
- Marion, Marion, Marion.
- Big-time, big-time.
I agree with her.
We should definitely use Marion.
You know, I think we're on the verge
of securing the majority.
We can still achieve it.
Then here comes the "Eat well, for free,"
the "Living Together."
Eight thousand euros minimum wage,
maybe even 12,000.
School for two hours a day.
I mean, it's open bar.
[sighs]
I'm gonna resign.
- Huh?
- What?
- [Mo] Come on, stop. Stop it.
- What?
If I don't, something will
get leaked to the press.
- What?
- Nothing. Who cares?
It doesn't matter what gets leaked out.
That's the day in the life
of a politician. Things always get out.
Let's light a counterfire, as I said,
and problem solved.
Marion slept with her bodyguard.
- What?
- [gasps]
What?
- I can't believe it.
- Are you serious right now?
You already knew?
Huh?
- Yeah, I knew.
- No!
I'm just hearing about this now.
You knew already?
Always deny. What's wrong with you?
I didn't know about it.
I'm sorry.
What? No, don't say you're sorry.
No, no, no, no, no.
Hey, you're selfish, man.
If you resign, it'd be stupid.
Think of your team.
Look how far we've come.
We have the power, at last.
I have a driver, uh
Nobody cares,
but anyway, we're fucking here.
Think about Yasmine, the poor thing.
- What's she gonna do?
- [Yasmine] Cut it out.
- She won't get a job after this.
- [Yasmine] Stop it.
With the hijab and all that?
Wow. All right, no.
Listen, you shouldn't cave to blackmail,
in my opinion.
Millions of French people
are counting on you.
You have to fight.
Do something. You can't do nothing.
You can't resign.
Listen, Stéphane,
I've been with you from the beginning.
Fool, you my cousin.
Before the Élysée, I was there.
We're part of the same family.
When you were just a piece of shit
- Uh
- I was there.
Just so you know, he's the president.
You may have all the flaws
in the world, really, all of them.
But what I respect about you
- Oh!
- is that you never, ever give up.
- [Stéphane whimpers]
- You never give up, brother.
Ouch.
Careful.
Sending kids on vacation.
Giving food to the whole country.
When others give up, you don't give up.
- [Stéphane] Ow!
- Careful now, Mo.
Easy.
- [door creaks open]
- You okay?
[Mo] Yeah, that's right.
Marion did sleep with that guy Aimé.
So, sure. Yeah.
It makes her come off as a tart.
- It's true.
- What? What do you mean?
- A slut.
- Tart.
- [William] Tart means slut?
- [Mo] It means little slut.
[William] Little slut?
[Marion clears throat]
[Mo] What?
[dramatic music playing]
[William] How are you doing?
Did you know what it meant?
[R&B music playing]
REPRESEN
It was just like that. I don't know.
Look, I don't want to know about it.
- Never mind.
- Okay.
Actually, yeah, I do want to know.
Tell me, what happened exactly?
I don't know.
I'm not sure what got into me.
I was far away, I felt lost. He
He was there.
He listened to me, and that's it. I
I swear it didn't mean anything.
It was just
sex.
[sighs]
Great, amazing sex.
Awesome.
In the morning, afternoon, and night.
Even sometimes,
I'd think he was going overboard.
Then again, I wasn't like, "Ugh."
I was glad to.
- That guy was gifted, let's not pretend
- I got it, thanks. Marion, I got it.
Come on, Stéphane,
I don't want you to give up.
I don't want you to resign for my sake.
That would be
With everything you've done to get here,
you've worked too hard, it's
- Okay, I hear you.
- You can't give up.
But tell me, then,
what should I do if the photos are leaked?
The whole country will hate your guts.
Is that what you want?
["Rien Sans Rien" by Slimka playing]
I'm gonna resign.
I love you, Marion.
Stéphane, can you sign this for me?
What is it?
It's a reference letter.
You know, I'm 60.
I feel 58, but I don't have any degrees,
so I need to plan ahead.
"Mr. Didier Badidon
is an exceptional, talented,
and politically aware
and devoted individual."
"His contribution to our nation
has been remarkable in many respects."
"As president of France,
I was able to observe his capacity"
- I did sugarcoat it, but
- I get it, it's fine. It's fine.
Good day, Mr. President.
Don't.
- Call me Stéphane.
- [Didier chuckles]
Good day, Stéphane.
And please, uh,
keep doing the good stuff
you're doing in the 'hood.
Yo, yo!
Yeah, yeah!
Yo, ho-ho! Yo!
[reporter 1] Mr. Prime Minister,
what's your response
to the rumors of resignation
around the president?
I'll just say that it's not
my usual practice to comment on rumors,
nor do I kick a man when he's down.
The president asked to see me.
I will see him.
The decision is his to make.
But if France calls upon me,
I'll say it loud and clear,
I won't let the country down.
That's it.
[reporter 1] Do you already
see yourself as president?
- [reporter 2] Will you get a nose job?
- [reporter 3] Will you get implants?
- Not the looks.
- [reporter 4] Mr. Prime Minister, a word
Careful.
[reporter 5] One last question!
[jovial music playing]
Oh, Mr. President.
[door closes]
Did you want to see me, sir?
What's happening?
I'm gonna resign.
What?
Mr. President, why so suddenly?
What's happening? Is it a personal matter?
Did you send the photos?
The photos?
Sorry, Mr. President,
you're catching me off guard.
Could you please clarify
which photos you're referring to?
Let me know if there's any way I can help.
What's happening?
Honestly, Andréï, I knew you were
a piece of shit, but not like this.
Don't bullshit me!
A piece of shit, Mr. President?
Pain is misleading you.
Listen,
I don't know what's on these photos,
and had I seen them, sir,
which is difficult to prove,
I'd still want to tell you that, uh,
I think you got what you fucking deserved.
You know for someone like you
to have gotten where he is,
it's already a miracle.
Did you just say someone like me?
You just said that?
I did. Oh, don't do that, please.
No, don't pull that on me.
Someone like you, indeed, a dreamer.
For what is a dreamer?
It's a man who gives hope.
And hope is great to get elected.
But not to run a country.
So from now on,
you see, Stéphane,
you're going to let
the grown-ups do their job.
Go change into your PJs
without saying good night,
and drift off to dreamland.
Catch my drift?
Aw, he's tightening his little fists.
Go ahead.
You're dying to do it.
You want to punch me in the face.
It's in your genes.
You can't help yourself.
Come on, hit me.
That'd be very convenient for me.
Beat me up.
Then how do I know
the photos won't get out?
I'll keep them nice and warm.
However, you will never
run again in any election.
Not a local one, nor a regional one.
Not even for student council.
If you do,
your lovely spouse
all of France will realize
how desirable she is.
Just like your bodyguard.
He's so vigorous.
[laughs]
All right, get going,
because I have work to do.
Go on.
Thanks.
Some of us are working. Now, shoo.
- [Stéphane grunts]
- [object clatters]
- [grunting]
- [objects hitting floor]
[Jérôme] What's going on?
That long-legged fool is going to resign.
- Oh my God.
- Yes.
- [Jérôme] No way.
- [chuckles]
Yes! Yes!
[panting] Oh!
I can feel it now. I can see it, even.
You at the Élysée, me in Matignon.
We're there.
We're set. We've screwed everyone.
[laughs] And you know why we did it?
Do you know why we did it?
Because it's our project!
[gasps]
High five.
That's over. Go wipe your nose.
[sniffles]
Come on, scram.
Get the fuck out.
[foot thuds]
[breathing heavily]
You moron.
It's my project.
[William] Stop it, come on. Stop it.
No, you hang up first.
Come on, you hang up. Stop.
I swear, I'll come by to see you.
I promise, all right? Take care.
Take care. You too.
It's all good. We're on the news tonight.
Okay, where are we
on the resignation speech?
- Nowhere. I can't do it.
- [Stéphane] Yes, you can. Come on.
No, I can't do it.
I'm telling you, I really can't.
It's not a resignation,
it's a renouncement.
- So many people were counting on us.
- Yeah, you're not wrong.
- [cell phone chimes]
- [sighs]
Get in touch with Planet Rap.
I'll rap about quitting my job.
[William] No, no, no.
I never said that. Come on.
- That's not what I said.
- Stéphane.
[Stéphane] It's never been done
in the Fifth Republic.
I'm gonna talk about how politicians have
become corrupt, about how I'm giving up.
I want it to be real,
talk about the real thing.
- Stéphane!
- What is it?
Hey, you need to look at this. Here.
[Stéphane] Wow.
No, wait,
Andréï can't be responsible for that.
He isn't that stupid.
Who did this?
That must be Alice's work.
She already stole my job.
I'm going to lose my job
because of that bitch.
I know who it is.
It has to be one of us, obviously.
[scoffs]
It's Yasmine.
- To keep her job.
- What? Me?
- Of course! You always do twisted stuff.
- Are you for real?
- Twisted stuff?
- You people are always sideways.
- [Yasmine] What are you talking about?
- You don't know how to dance straight.
- [Yasmine] Have you lost your mind?
- You dance like robots.
Who are you doing an impression of?
Want me to knock you down?
- Knocking me down?
- [Yasmine] You're a real bloodsucker!
- [Mo] Hold on
- Get lost, jerk!
Why are you looking down now?
Just keep it real.
- Please be quiet.
- [Yasmine] What?
Uh, if the photos get out,
it'll be a mutual termination, right?
Not a resignation.
I won't get any
unemployment benefits if I resign.
And I've got issues with my social worker.
- She was a dictator in a previous life.
- [Marion] Shut up!
I'm the one who leaked
the photos, all right?
Now that they're out,
Andréï can't blackmail you anymore.
There.
[sighs]
[William claps]
Oh!
Come on, that's a genius idea, sista!
You're my sister, man!
It's a genius idea, it's amazing.
Okay, so let's cancel the evening news.
No, no, no.
We're not canceling anything at all.
Tonight, we'll go together,
and we're gonna be honest with the people.
That's all.
Are you sure?
Positive.
This is your comeback.
We tell the truth.
The whole truth.
The French people will understand.
The whole truth?
- Okay.
- Okay?
[Stéphane] Because I have
something to say.
Well, the Legion of Honor necklace,
I didn't really lose it,
I just can't find it. Wallah.
Just so you know, tonight,
the evening news means 30 million viewers.
We can't just show up
with excuses and a speech like,
"Ah, my bad, I didn't mean to,
but the necklace is lost somewhere."
Come on, please. We can't.
So we're going to do
a short coaching session.
And guess what, man?
I know the perfect guy.
Never. Never, do you hear?
I never opened a bank account
in the Cayman Islands.
Or anywhere else, for that matter.
It's against all I've been fighting for.
So I won't let you
besmirch my reputation like this.
It's an ignominy.
You see? That's the baseline.
"It's ignominy."
There. You see? Act offended.
And feel free to make big gestures.
- [Stéphane] Yeah.
- What?
Big gestures. You do
Wah! Whoo-whoo!
You see?
There. Now, second option,
which works pretty well too.
Acting surprised.
"What? Me?"
"Opening a bank account
in the Cayman Islands?"
"Come on, let's be serious."
- You see?
- Yeah, but just wanted you to
[Collignon] Hold on.
Don't interrupt me. I'm on fire.
Acting scorned.
"I would never have imagined
that my name would be dragged
through the mud in this manner."
"I come from a modest background."
"My mother was a housekeeper."
You were poor?
No, quite the contrary.
But that's irrelevant.
When you don't know what to say,
modest background.
You can always pull that card.
Plus, in your case, it's true.
You come from shit.
- So go ahead, don't hesitate.
- I come from shit?
- Yeah, so make the most of it.
- All right.
[Stéphane] All right.
"And my father was a soldier
who died while serving France."
- [Stéphane] What war?
- Doesn't matter.
All right.
[Collignon] This illiterate father of mine
who only had one dream for his son.
The often renewed promise of a
of a bright republican future.
[somber music playing]
[Collignon sighs]
- You've lost me here, man. I don't get it.
- That was the point.
That's the point. You see?
By the time I'm done answering,
you've forgotten the question.
Blah, blah, blah. You see?
- [sighs] I can't do it.
- Yes, you can.
- No, I can't do it.
- Yes, you can.
Go ahead. Practical case.
- Come on, uh, I'll be the journalist.
- Okay, okay, okay.
- Mr. President.
- Yes?
There are claims you're disconnected
from the French people.
That you're president of riffraff.
[exhales sharply]
No, stop. What are you
Come on, you can't just
gesticulate at random.
- Sorry.
- Come on.
I panicked a little.
- No need to make such big moves.
- Okay.
Come on, answer honestly.
I hear the French people.
Very good.
I hear their fears as well.
Good.
But I think there was a misunderstanding
with the French people.
No, no, no.
- [Collignon exhales]
- What?
[imitates buzzer]
Never tell the French people
they didn't understand something.
That's basic. They're very touchy,
on top of being morons.
All right. Wow.
Plus, I really love French people.
There. Like that. You got it.
There.
Sorry, I'm not playing
at the moment. I'm being serious.
Hold on. What? Okay.
Wow, sounds good.
Wow, all right.
When's your interview?
In two hours.
Two hours.
Yeah.
This is bad.
Honestly, for real, you've got one chance
in 12 million to pull it off.
That's cool. We have one chance.
Okay, then.
[dramatic music playing]
[birds tweeting]
I really like your car.
Paid for by the taxpayers.
- Shut the fuck up and listen to me.
- No, you shut the fuck up and listen.
You've been shitting on me for ten years.
What did you call me?
A rebellious Nazi, didn't you?
Mindless, unable to put on blue boots?
You surely benefited from that.
Every time I talk about you,
you get two points in the polls.
Without me, you're nothing.
That was before.
Now I've got the street with me.
And you and Blé,
we'll demolish you in the elections.
You won't last two minutes
as prime minister.
I know that. It's nothing but troubles.
That is why I'd prefer
not to win the elections.
I only want enough representatives
to get subventions
and fuck with you
for five years at the Assembly.
And in five years, I become president.
[Andréï] Hmm.
Of course.
Don't you want to save five years?
What are you talking about?
Tonight, you're invited to go
head-to-head with the president.
You're going to focus on Blé.
I want you to make him fly off the handle.
Tell him about,
uh, the elite versus the people.
I mean, add some populism.
You know how to do that.
Yeah.
I want him to lose it on live TV.
Because if he does, there will be riots.
And if Blé is out,
there will be new elections.
Right away.
And chances are,
it'll be you and me in the second round.
And then, may the best man win.
Do you trust me?
No.
I wasn't gonna shake it anyway.
Asshole.
[car door closes]
[R&B music playing]
[news reporter] All over the country,
discontent is on the rise.
And it's turning into anger.
Protests, sit-ins,
mostly organized by the far right,
and always with the same motto.
"Blé, resign! Blé, bad French citizen."
- [crowd shouting]
- [man] Get them out of Poitou!
- Hello, can I have an interview?
- Hello. Yes.
I'm currently with a protester
who's visibly amped up.
Can you provide some insight
into the symbolism behind this costume?
- It is Asterix? The Gaul? What is it?
- No, it's not Asterix.
It's Vercingetorix. He kicked the Arabs
out of Poitiers in 1732.
So, media outlets, get your facts right.
No couscous in Poitou region!
This is our home!
We're in France! This is our home!
As you can see, just moments before
the highly anticipated
presidential address,
it's evident that tension
is running high among the crowd.
[crowd shouting distantly]
[clears throat]
- [explosion]
- [Alice gasps]
Uh
Are we sure this is a safe place?
- Huh?
- [Stéphane] Is it safe?
- Is it safe?
- [Stéphane] Yeah.
Yeah, it's safe. It's 76
Uh, seven 75 80% safe.
- It's not an exact science.
- It's gonna be fine.
Everything will be okay. No worries.
It'll be fine.
- Just trust your staff
- Mr. President.
Wait! Don't move!
Ah!
[groaning]
[Alice] Who the fuck is this?
He smells like cheap wine.
- It's me.
- [Alice] Who are you?
It's Didier.
[Didier] Yeah, it's Didier.
- [Alice] Didier?
- [groaning]
Oh God, I hadn't recognized you.
[Didier] It's all right.
Mr. President, it's time.
- [Alice] Are you okay?
- [Didier] Something cracked, but I'm fine.
- [Alice] It's the collarbone.
- [Didier] Oh!
[Alice] Wait, I'll
I'll help you up. I'm really sorry.
Can you get up now? Because it's
["La Marseillaise" playing]
Mr. President, Mrs. Blé,
you both expressed a desire
to make a statement tonight
and convey the truth to the French people,
by confronting this persistent rumor
that says that you, Mrs. Blé,
had an affair with your bodyguard.
[exhales softly]
THE PRESIDENTIAL COUPLE FACE THE NATION
Wow, he's really going
all out with that, isn't he?
Defamation.
Knowing that I had a humble upbringing.
What a disgrace.
I don't see how your
humble upbringing is related.
Yes, it is.
Here are the photos
that have been leaked to the press.
Oh. All right.
There's speculation that they were
created by artificial intelligence.
So, what is the truth, Mr. President?
What is your answer?
- Deny. Just deny, deny, deny.
- [interviewer] So?
- Deny. It's false.
- Tell the truth.
[whispering] What's the plan? I can't lie.
An answer, please.
- [William] What's her deal?
- [interviewer] The people want to know.
They're real.
Fuck!
[William] He's not thinking clearly.
They're real.
I did have an affair with Mr. Privat.
Is this the man you're talking about?
Oh, come on, do we really
have to show a photo of him?
This interview is a dumpster fire.
[interviewer] I'm sorry
for being blunt, but Mrs. Blé,
could you tell me the details
of your relationship with this man?
So, um
I would like to express
how proud I am of my husband
and his courage
because I hear people who say things like,
"Oh, Stéphane Blé
was shot in the testicles."
- "He only has one."
- What's wrong with her?
"He's not a man." You know?
- Nobody is saying that.
- [Marion] Can we stop with the clichés?
[William] Smile. Show teeth.
[Marion] What does it mean to be a man?
We need to break down
our patterns of thinking.
He's a man. A person of honor, sincere.
- [William] Kind Black man.
- Generous
Stéphane is all those things, all right?
That's why I love him.
So is it really that important to know
if he's capable of giving an orgasm,
or whether he even knows what it is?
I know what it is.
Whatever. Doesn't matter.
French people are like me.
They've chosen him
for what is in his mind, in his heart,
but not his pants or wherever.
- What the
- [Marion] What's important isn't us.
- It's France.
- I'm good down there.
Of course. Now smile.
Come on. I'm good.
You know it very well. You've forgotten.
- It's beside the point.
- You shouldn't humiliate people on TV.
[Stéphane] We haven't been
sleeping together.
- I've got the goods.
- [Marion] Calm down.
I am calm, I'm calm,
but don't get me started on this.
And you have to cut this off
in the final edit, because I don't
That's not possible, Mr. President.
We are live.
After the break,
we'll talk about the president's impotence
with the French people.
- Stay tuned.
- But I'm not impotent, actually.
Give that a rest.
I was talking about
your political impotence, Mr. President.
- See you after the break.
- You have to be explicit.
[network news music playing]
Cut. Back on air in three minutes.
Great.
- [Yasmine] Good. Very good.
- [William] You're killing it.
- [Yasmine] Yeah.
- You nailed it.
- It's a disaster.
- Not at all.
The social media reaction
has been mostly good.
Totally. #HeresMyCuckold."
Oh, uh, #AllImpotent."
I mean, it's great. It's amazing.
Amazi Hey, ma'am.
On the other hand,
trash journalism isn't very classy.
Whatever. He's crazy.
Showing nudes? I mean, come on.
[interviewer]
Have you checked the ratings yet?
Are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay.
I just hope this doesn't drag on forever.
[William] The longer it lasts,
the more sorry they'll feel.
- [Yasmine] Don't put him down like that.
- [William] What? Don't be ridiculous.
[news stinger playing]
Mr. President, your taking office
has generated an immense sense of hope,
but one month in,
it's quite a disappointment.
- Not true.
- [interviewer] The "Eat well, for free"
is just starting in Guadeloupe.
The "Living Together" measure
is testing in a district of Paris,
but it isn't impressive so far.
Well, I haven't been in office for long,
so it's not surprising.
That's for sure,
but we sense the anger is growing,
and you're expected to lose
at the legislative elections.
So, Mr. President, what happened?
Have you experienced a setback?
Or is it the French people
who misunderstood you?
No, uh, French people understood.
I struggled to articulate my thoughts.
But I'll keep trying to be convincing.
- Good.
- [interviewer] You have a chance tonight.
There is one French citizen
who isn't convinced by your results.
He's here. Let's welcome him.
Fred Cognard.
What does she mean? What the hell? No
Pardon me. Sorry, excuse me.
Let me go, please. Let me go.
Please. Come on, move.
[network news music playing]
Mrs. Portolano.
Nagadef.
What? Uh
[Cognard] Nagadef?
It means "good evening" in Wolof.
I thought you were proud
of your origins, Mr. Blé.
My origins? I'm from the Ivory Coast,
not Senegal.
- You're Ivorian?
- [Stéphane] Yes.
- Not French?
- That's not what I said.
[laughs]
I wouldn't mind
seeing a birth certificate,
if they make them in the country
where you come from.
- Please.
- Just kidding.
- What? He annoys me.
- [Cognard] I'm just kidding.
That was shady, even from you.
Yes, but I was joking.
Aren't we allowed to joke anymore?
- Your question, Mr. Cognard?
- My question is simple, Mrs. Portolano.
Mr. Blé, sorry to tell you
that since you took office,
it's been failure after failure.
Right, France has never been this divided.
Unemployment is skyrocketing.
Women wearing hijabs proliferate.
Delinquency, let's not even mention it.
Educators, who actually
are predominantly ex-cons
I didn't think it'd come to this.
- It's time to bring out the big guns.
- [Yasmine] What?
Don't worry about it.
Sorry, out of my way.
[interviewer] Mr. Cognard,
your question, please.
[Cognard] I'm getting there. Calm down.
- I am calm.
- It's all going to be fine.
- Pardon?
- [laughs] No need to get hysterical.
- [interviewer] Excuse me?
- Must be the five bad day of the month.
- Mr. Cognard, stop.
- My question, Mrs. Portolano,
is very simple.
Yes?
What did France do to you, Mr. Blé?
- To me?
- [Cognard] Why do you hate it so much?
Why don't you hear
these millions of voices
of heartfelt screams
from the French people
who are right there,
in front of your palace,
screaming, "Get out, you piece of shit!"
[interviewer] Mr. Cognard, please.
I'm sorry, but I'm only repeating
what I hear every day, Mrs. Portolano,
Why is it that you don't have any respect
for the people who elected you, Mr. Blé?
When do you plan
on stepping down for good?
[echoing] For good
Fuck that. Let me go. Hands off.
Sorry, let me through. It'll be quick.
- Sorry, sorry to interrupt.
- Hold on, hold on.
- What are you doing?
- Hold on, Mrs. Puerto Rico.
I just have one small thing.
Other French people are dissatisfied.
Actually, I brought
one of them with me, so to speak.
- Maybe you'll recognize her.
- Who's that?
Who is it? This man was charged
with a crime involving animals.
Let me remind you, animals. Bestiality.
I can't let you say that.
That's defamation.
- Plus, it wasn't even that breed.
- Okay, so now "breeds" matter.
Of course. They're dogs.
All right, okay, I mean
My God, he always tries
to beat around the bush.
Do you realize
that this poor little creature
which he, excuse my French, fucked
and then left behind like it was nothing.
It was found in a children's park
200 yards from his residence.
- It was all ripped apart, no more teeth.
- What are you doing?
Covered in blood.
How can you do something like that
to a poor little creature?
- I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
- [William] How was it?
Sir, it's disgraceful.
Please, that's enough.
- It's a freak show.
- You are making a fool of yourself.
Give her some biscuits?
How does that work?
How do you seduce it? Is there an app?
- You're embarrassing me.
- [William] I'm just
- [Stéphane] You're embarrassing me.
- Leave the set.
That's all I had to say.
Some of us are dissatisfied.
- I
- That was ridiculous.
I'm really sorry.
That wasn't planned at all.
- You're stupid.
- What the fuck, man?
- What the heck was that?
- It was the right move.
[Stéphane] It's true,
he was charged with bestiality.
- He can't deny it.
- That's defamation. Plus, I love animals.
Actually, regarding animals,
when I join the government
About that, let's talk about this.
You're the new prime minister.
- Let's do it, man.
- What?
[William] Hmm?
If you can do better,
I'll appoint you prime minister.
- Well
- Hold on.
- It's a prank.
- Wait a second.
That's a big announcement
you're making, Mr. President.
- Yes.
- Mr. Cognard, do you accept the role?
- I mean, come on. It's not It's absurd.
- [Stéphane] Come on!
Prime minister, it's
President. I like president better.
That's much better, in fact.
Let me tell you, Cognard.
President is a terrible job.
For real, it's not that great.
Prime minister is more concrete.
You can change the French people's lives.
You could do a better job?
Go ahead. I'll appoint you prime minister.
Go ahead.
[interviewer] Mr. Cognard?
[laughs] Listen, this is ridiculous.
[man] I can't believe it.
Is he chickening out?
[woman] Unbelievable.
What the hell is Fred doing?
Why doesn't he accept?
What the hell is he up to?
It's ridiculous, we should probably
get back to a topic that
that interests French people,
such as halal meat in schools,
for example.
- This topic is very important.
- Don't change the subject, okay?
Don't change the subject.
I've just offered you to be
the prime minister in my government.
Do you want it, yes or no?
We're waiting on you.
- [man 1] He's chickening out.
- [woman 1] What's going on?
[Stéphane] No? Are you sure?
All right. French people will see
that you're all talk, no action.
Hopefully, I'll see you
at the next elections.
[interviewer] Our program
is coming to an end.
Thank you, Mr. President.
Thank you, Mr. Cognard.
- What the hell? He chickened out.
- [crowd jeering and shouting]
[man 2] Even he lets us down.
We gotta do something.
They're all corrupt.
[man 3] They're all the same.
[woman 2] Let's get out of here.
[man 4] Come on.
We have to change shit on our own.
We'll do it ourselves.
[man 5] We have to do something.
[man 6] If the politicians let us down,
there's only one solution left.
It's death!
[all shouting]
Come on!
[angry shouting and cheering]
[rocks clanging]
Excuse me, just one minute.
Before I wrap things up,
I'd like to deliver a message
to my fellow citizens, if I may?
["Tête Brûlée" by Kalash Criminel playing]
[angry shouting continues]
I just wanted to say that, uh
Uh-huh.
["Tête Brûlée" continues]
Yeah!
[Stéphane] Uh Uh
Diggity, diggity. Heh.
Diggity, diggity. Huh!
[protesters shouting]
This multicultural France that we love ♪
- This ethnicity we carry ♪
- No, stop. I beg you
On our face, it's not blackface ♪
[William] Wow.
["Tête Brûlée" continues]
[gate creaks open]
Sorry. Excuse me.
Mr. President,
rioters have penetrated the Élysée.
We have to get you in the bunker.
Hurry up. Evacuate. Stop filming.
["Tête Brûlée" continues]
["Tête Brûlée" fades out]
[R&B music playing]
Maneuver, sliding through the mess ♪
Screaming
"One day, I'll be president" ♪
Yeah ♪
Maneuver, sliding through the mess ♪
Screaming
"One day, I'll be president" ♪
Yeah ♪
Maneuver, sliding through the mess ♪
Screaming
"One day, I'll be president" ♪
Screaming
"One day, I'll be president" ♪