Secret Diary of a Call Girl s02e05 Episode Script
Episode 5
Some days you wake up and your head is empty.
And it's the most perfect feeling in the world.
Then other days it's like you've been thinking all night.
Today.
I'm gonna tell Alex today.
Balls Bollocks.
Bollocks, shit, fuck.
Alex, do you wake up swearing every morning? Swearing? I didn't realise I wasswearing.
Fucking shit! Alex, what are you What are you doing later? Do you want to come over? Like at your place? Yeah.
I can make lunch ordinner.
Something.
You mean dinner like cutlery dinner or dinner crisps? I would love to.
I'm working this afternoon, I'm working tonight.
So is the invitation open for tomorrow? Tomorrow? Can you not wait that long? I can.
I can wait that long.
What are you doing this weekend because my consultant has invited me to a party in his garden.
Pimms and croquet and People called Rupert.
It's gonna be like the flaming fires of hell but with a free bar.
Do you want to come? Yeah.
Maybe.
Anyway, why don't we just wait and see? OK.
You're a funny little thing, aren't you? Yeah.
So Alex invited me to this Work thing.
Some barbecue at his boss's house.
Weird thing is I actually wanted to go.
Well, if it was as much fun as lunch was you shouldn't miss it.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Ben, what's with the golf? It's golf.
Goff! Will you stop saying goff? Only if you stop playing it.
So it's going well with you two, you and Alex? Yeah.
I'm gonna tell him.
Are you gonna say something? You make me feel a bit nervous.
OK.
Why now? I just feel like the lying separates us.
It's like I'm looking at the world through the wrong end of the telescope.
Everyone just seems really far away.
Are you gonna give up? I don't know.
I don't really know anything except that I've got to tell him.
Good luck.
Yeah, well I'm not seeing him till tomorrow.
I've got another client now.
The first one in 10 days.
In whore terms I'm practically a virgin.
I couldn't let him down.
You're all heart.
See you later.
Is it better to find out your girlfriend's a prostitute on a full or empty stomach? I've never wanted to cook for a man.
Not ever.
Not until now.
My timing seems all off.
Don't judge me, Delia.
Hi.
You must be Blake.
And you are? My dad.
Oh.
Come in.
So shall we get the formalities over with? Dad, can you get the envelope out of the bag? Thanks.
Just wait here one minute, I won't be a second.
Make yourselves at home.
Dad Sorry, mate.
Okey-dokey.
Up.
That OK? Yeah.
Didn't you want me to help you get? Or is? No, it's fine.
But could you undo your dungarees a bit? It looks like we're wearing the same T-shirt.
Oh.
Better? Yeah.
So have you two talked about what Blake can do and? Yeah, e-mail.
OK.
Bye.
I'll be downstairs in the van if You need me.
Bye.
Oh, I'll just leave it just in case he wanted Seems nice.
I don't mean like that.
I just mean I think it's nice whenmen kiss.
Would you like a drink? Yeah, he's a good guy.
We go to a lot of gigs together.
That's why it may have looked like we were wearing the same T-shirt.
But we're not.
Shall I? Please.
You have lovely eyes.
Blake, can you feel that? Yeah.
Is it so uncomfortable what I'm doing? No No.
It's justI'm not that used to being touched.
I mean I'm touched all the time by my dad and PAs.
Just not like that.
Shall I take your shirt off? That's it.
Don't.
If you do that, it feels like porn.
Like in not a real girl.
Last time I had a girlfriend I was 17.
Before my body stopped co-operating.
I know what to do.
You know, to you and that.
But I don't know what feels good any more.
I can't really Touch yourself? No.
What about music? What about it? What kind of music makes you think about sex? Come on.
Everyone has one of those.
OK.
There's this song.
On my MP3 Player in my bag? OK.
It's the first track on the second playlist.
It's folk.
Well, folky.
You're not, though.
You're just some money my dad's paid to sleep with me.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
That's OK.
I was afraid this was gonna happen.
Opened the floodgates.
Made me want something I can't have.
Who says you can't have it? Sorry.
It's OK.
It's fine.
I can have it.
It's just hard.
Harder.
Falling in love.
Having a relationship.
Feels like something that happens to other people.
It's fine.
Sometimes sex with strangers can make you feel lonelier than ever.
Now you feel like a real girl.
I am a real girl.
My name's Hannah.
Hi, Hannah.
Am I gonna hurt you? No.
Hannah? Get out.
Get out.
Get out! Sorry, I'm so sorry.
My phone's in my pocket.
Tomorrow, you said tomorrow! What the fuck is going on? What the? You should have just said.
If it was the end of the appointment and someone was waiting.
What did he just say? Can youcan you come up please? Hannah's a prostitute.
A working girl, a hooker and a whore.
Did you fucking know that? Of course you did.
Were you laughing at me the whole time, the two of you? No, I wasn't.
She Whatever you think she is, that's not her.
There's Hannah.
And there's Belle.
Belle? She thought I was a punter.
Alex, don't.
First time I met her she called herself Belle.
Don't do this.
She thought I was a paying customer.
Fucking hell.
Alex, don't.
Don't what? Don't do this.
I'm falling in love with that girl.
I'm going out with her, I'm falling in love with her.
And I walk in.
And she's fucking some guy.
Some poor fucking guy in a wheelchair.
Some dirty fucking bastard in a wheelchair.
What? Yeah.
No, wait for the punchline.
It's hilarious.
The guy thinks I'm her next customer.
He's had his shot and now it's my go.
Yeah, go on, son.
Laugh.
Go on, laugh, cos that's exactly what I'd do if this happened to some other mug.
Oh, I would laugh.
Before I asked him how could he be so fucking stupid?! Alex Listen to me.
It's just a job.
OK? It's what she does.
It's not who she is.
What the fuck are you talking about? That's my girlfriend! What if it was your girlfriend fucking other men for money then fucking you?! I'm sorry to be some boring Catholic boy about all of this but it's fucking disgusting.
I find it Fucking disgraceful.
What's wrong with you people? What's wrong with you, Ben? Do you think this is normal? It's not.
'Hey, it's Alex.
At the moment' Hello.
He left his MP3 Player.
OK.
Come up.
Sorry.
No I swapped shifts with someone to see her.
Yeah.
Do you think it's drugs, why she does it? She doesn't do drugs.
You'd think I'd know if I was sleeping with a junkie.
Probably crawling with STIs.
No, Alex.
She's not like that.
And how would you know? You.
You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you do.
What's her name? Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Poor Vanessa.
Cos I bet she knows it.
Just checking.
Just checking if it's true.
And it is.
Isn't itBelle?
And it's the most perfect feeling in the world.
Then other days it's like you've been thinking all night.
Today.
I'm gonna tell Alex today.
Balls Bollocks.
Bollocks, shit, fuck.
Alex, do you wake up swearing every morning? Swearing? I didn't realise I wasswearing.
Fucking shit! Alex, what are you What are you doing later? Do you want to come over? Like at your place? Yeah.
I can make lunch ordinner.
Something.
You mean dinner like cutlery dinner or dinner crisps? I would love to.
I'm working this afternoon, I'm working tonight.
So is the invitation open for tomorrow? Tomorrow? Can you not wait that long? I can.
I can wait that long.
What are you doing this weekend because my consultant has invited me to a party in his garden.
Pimms and croquet and People called Rupert.
It's gonna be like the flaming fires of hell but with a free bar.
Do you want to come? Yeah.
Maybe.
Anyway, why don't we just wait and see? OK.
You're a funny little thing, aren't you? Yeah.
So Alex invited me to this Work thing.
Some barbecue at his boss's house.
Weird thing is I actually wanted to go.
Well, if it was as much fun as lunch was you shouldn't miss it.
Yeah, I'm sorry about that.
Ben, what's with the golf? It's golf.
Goff! Will you stop saying goff? Only if you stop playing it.
So it's going well with you two, you and Alex? Yeah.
I'm gonna tell him.
Are you gonna say something? You make me feel a bit nervous.
OK.
Why now? I just feel like the lying separates us.
It's like I'm looking at the world through the wrong end of the telescope.
Everyone just seems really far away.
Are you gonna give up? I don't know.
I don't really know anything except that I've got to tell him.
Good luck.
Yeah, well I'm not seeing him till tomorrow.
I've got another client now.
The first one in 10 days.
In whore terms I'm practically a virgin.
I couldn't let him down.
You're all heart.
See you later.
Is it better to find out your girlfriend's a prostitute on a full or empty stomach? I've never wanted to cook for a man.
Not ever.
Not until now.
My timing seems all off.
Don't judge me, Delia.
Hi.
You must be Blake.
And you are? My dad.
Oh.
Come in.
So shall we get the formalities over with? Dad, can you get the envelope out of the bag? Thanks.
Just wait here one minute, I won't be a second.
Make yourselves at home.
Dad Sorry, mate.
Okey-dokey.
Up.
That OK? Yeah.
Didn't you want me to help you get? Or is? No, it's fine.
But could you undo your dungarees a bit? It looks like we're wearing the same T-shirt.
Oh.
Better? Yeah.
So have you two talked about what Blake can do and? Yeah, e-mail.
OK.
Bye.
I'll be downstairs in the van if You need me.
Bye.
Oh, I'll just leave it just in case he wanted Seems nice.
I don't mean like that.
I just mean I think it's nice whenmen kiss.
Would you like a drink? Yeah, he's a good guy.
We go to a lot of gigs together.
That's why it may have looked like we were wearing the same T-shirt.
But we're not.
Shall I? Please.
You have lovely eyes.
Blake, can you feel that? Yeah.
Is it so uncomfortable what I'm doing? No No.
It's justI'm not that used to being touched.
I mean I'm touched all the time by my dad and PAs.
Just not like that.
Shall I take your shirt off? That's it.
Don't.
If you do that, it feels like porn.
Like in not a real girl.
Last time I had a girlfriend I was 17.
Before my body stopped co-operating.
I know what to do.
You know, to you and that.
But I don't know what feels good any more.
I can't really Touch yourself? No.
What about music? What about it? What kind of music makes you think about sex? Come on.
Everyone has one of those.
OK.
There's this song.
On my MP3 Player in my bag? OK.
It's the first track on the second playlist.
It's folk.
Well, folky.
You're not, though.
You're just some money my dad's paid to sleep with me.
Sorry.
I'm sorry.
That's OK.
I was afraid this was gonna happen.
Opened the floodgates.
Made me want something I can't have.
Who says you can't have it? Sorry.
It's OK.
It's fine.
I can have it.
It's just hard.
Harder.
Falling in love.
Having a relationship.
Feels like something that happens to other people.
It's fine.
Sometimes sex with strangers can make you feel lonelier than ever.
Now you feel like a real girl.
I am a real girl.
My name's Hannah.
Hi, Hannah.
Am I gonna hurt you? No.
Hannah? Get out.
Get out.
Get out! Sorry, I'm so sorry.
My phone's in my pocket.
Tomorrow, you said tomorrow! What the fuck is going on? What the? You should have just said.
If it was the end of the appointment and someone was waiting.
What did he just say? Can youcan you come up please? Hannah's a prostitute.
A working girl, a hooker and a whore.
Did you fucking know that? Of course you did.
Were you laughing at me the whole time, the two of you? No, I wasn't.
She Whatever you think she is, that's not her.
There's Hannah.
And there's Belle.
Belle? She thought I was a punter.
Alex, don't.
First time I met her she called herself Belle.
Don't do this.
She thought I was a paying customer.
Fucking hell.
Alex, don't.
Don't what? Don't do this.
I'm falling in love with that girl.
I'm going out with her, I'm falling in love with her.
And I walk in.
And she's fucking some guy.
Some poor fucking guy in a wheelchair.
Some dirty fucking bastard in a wheelchair.
What? Yeah.
No, wait for the punchline.
It's hilarious.
The guy thinks I'm her next customer.
He's had his shot and now it's my go.
Yeah, go on, son.
Laugh.
Go on, laugh, cos that's exactly what I'd do if this happened to some other mug.
Oh, I would laugh.
Before I asked him how could he be so fucking stupid?! Alex Listen to me.
It's just a job.
OK? It's what she does.
It's not who she is.
What the fuck are you talking about? That's my girlfriend! What if it was your girlfriend fucking other men for money then fucking you?! I'm sorry to be some boring Catholic boy about all of this but it's fucking disgusting.
I find it Fucking disgraceful.
What's wrong with you people? What's wrong with you, Ben? Do you think this is normal? It's not.
'Hey, it's Alex.
At the moment' Hello.
He left his MP3 Player.
OK.
Come up.
Sorry.
No I swapped shifts with someone to see her.
Yeah.
Do you think it's drugs, why she does it? She doesn't do drugs.
You'd think I'd know if I was sleeping with a junkie.
Probably crawling with STIs.
No, Alex.
She's not like that.
And how would you know? You.
You're in love with her.
I've got a girlfriend, Alex.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So you do.
What's her name? Vanessa.
Vanessa.
Poor Vanessa.
Cos I bet she knows it.
Just checking.
Just checking if it's true.
And it is.
Isn't itBelle?