Sex/Life (2021) s02e05 Episode Script

1
I can see it formulating right here ♪
Look at you!
Okay, that is my friend.
Can you believe it?
Okay. Can you take a picture of us?
- Please, please, please?
- Do you mind?
Oh, my goodness!
Look at you!
'Cause today is gonna be my day ♪
Can you believe this? I'm
Everything okay?
My name.
I'm an answer in the Sunday
New York Times crossword.
Oh. Wow.
Yeah, yeah.
Hey you, over there ♪
On the chaise longue in your underwear ♪
What are you doing sitting down? ♪
You should be horizontal now ♪
On the chaise longue
On the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue ♪
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
On the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
On the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
On the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
All day long, all day long
On the chaise longue ♪
All day long, all day long
On the chaise longue ♪
All day long, all day long
On the chaise longue ♪
On the chaise longue
All day long, on the chaise longue ♪
Divorce is,
by definition, a failure.
An acknowledgment
that promises were not kept,
vows were broken,
and the bond you spent
the last nine years trying to deepen,
is now simply dissolved.
Olga, hi. Is everything okay?
Yes, I'm sorry, it's just
Hudson is upset.
He overheard Cooper
saying something about court,
and now he's worried you're in trouble.
Okay, put him on, please.
Mommy, are you and Daddy going to jail?
No, honey.
No, no. No one's in trouble.
We're just gonna tell the judge
what we worked out
about how we're gonna
take care of you, and
nothing is changing.
Promise?
I promise. Yes.
Mommy and Daddy love you
so very much, and that will never,
ever change.
Hudson, I
I'm gonna be home this afternoon
and maybe
we can do something special
together, okay?
Okay. I love you, Mommy.
I love you too, baby.
Billie?
What is it?
You okay?
It's today.
The divorce. And, um
Hudson found out, and he's upset,
and clearly so am I.
I told him that
we would do something special
this afternoon, and
hopefully it'll distract him and me.
My God. I'm sorry.
Today turned out to be way more emotional
than I thought it would be, you know?
It's a big day.
It's just, the dream I had for my life
The life I was living.
It's over.
Maybe it's time to dream a new dream.
I don't know.
You don't think that what we have
is a dream come true?
Maybe that's just me.
Is what we have even real?
Or have I just been distracting myself,
not thinking about the reality of my life.
The reality of your life is I love you.
And you love me.
But you don't even know me.
I mean, not all of me.
I'm a mom.
I wear jeans and sneakers,
and I clean up puke, and I change diapers.
We don't even talk about my kids.
I never talk about my kids with you.
- It's okay.
- No, it's not.
I've been trying to figure out why
I haven't shared this part of myself.
Maybe I didn't think you'd be interested.
I wanted to be free and fun.
And it has been fun, but
I'm not my full self
when I'm with you.
And that's been my problem.
That's what got me to D-Day
in the first place, so
I have to do this for real.
You're right.
I'm sorry.
I never thought about all of this.
I should have, but
I've never dated a woman
who has kids before.
Yeah, I've been enjoying the ride,
but I do want to know all of you.
Including your mom side
and including your kids.
You want to meet my kids?
Let's do it today.
You said you want to do something special
to make them feel better.
Let's do this.
Are you sure?
Absolutely.
I'm excited there's a part of you
that I don't know yet.
Is it?
Is it here?
Mm
Or here?
Maybe.
Or maybe it's
Okay, look, good news is,
it'll be quick and painless.
At least the part with the judge.
I'm just glad
it will all be over.
Willamina Connelly and Cooper Connelly,
the court has reviewed
your divorce settlement.
By signing it,
the plaintiff and the defendant
attest to the following:
You will have joint custody
of your children, Hudson and Ellary,
with each party entitled to spend 182 days
with them per year
Suddenly, eight years of marriage
was reduced to a collection of property,
expenses, and schedules.
All those moments
I thought we'd always treasure together.
Who gets them?
Oh, my God, was that it?
- That was it?
- That was it.
Happy birthday, dear Hudson ♪
Happy birthday to you! ♪
I love you.
Ms. Connelly.
I'm sorry. Yes?
Have all attempts at reconciliation
been exhausted?
Yes, they have, Your Honor.
All parties are in agreement
on the terms of the divorce.
All right. Very good.
Please sign the settlement agreement.
For years,
you are something, everything,
to one another.
And then suddenly
you're nothing.
It's over.
And no matter how much
you think you're ready for it,
you're not.
The court hereby grants your divorce.
Thank you. I'll call you on Monday.
We'll talk then.
Cooper.
Cooper.
Hi, Billie. It's nice to see you.
I wish it were under
different circumstances.
Hey.
I'm sorry. Um
I think I just really needed a hug.
We'll always be family. You know that.
Thank you, Spence.
That means so much, because this is
awful.
It's tough for everybody.
I'm gonna let you two talk
and I will call you later.
Yup.
I wanted to, um
To check-in.
That was pretty intense.
At least for me.
I know this isn't
what either of us hoped for
Um
But we can't judge our marriage
by the worst things that we did.
And we can't judge each other,
or ourselves, that way either.
We have to honor all the beautiful moments
to keep them alive.
For our kids' sake, if nothing else.
They should know who we are.
They should know who we were together.
I can't think about it, Billie. All right?
I'm not gonna make it if I do.
Oh, Cooper, please.
I mean, if you keep
pushing all of this down,
then it's only gonna come back
to hurt you even more.
Thanks, doc. I'll take my chances.
Okay, look, we can't leave it like this.
See, actually, we can.
That is the beauty of the day.
Everything's figured out,
so we don't ever have to talk again.
Okay, yes, we do.
I'm sorry to have to bring this up
today of all days,
but it's happening this afternoon.
So, I, uh
I've been seeing someone.
His name is Majid Mousavi.
He owns a restaurant in Manhattan.
It's gotten serious,
and I want him to meet the kids.
We decided that it would be
today.
Oh, you decided, huh?
Hey, I mean, I guess if it's today,
well, then I don't get a choice, right?
But thanks for the FYI.
Yo! Connelly!
Happy fucking divorce, buddy.
Let freedom ring.
Hi, Billie.
Come on, get in the car.
Let's blow this joint.
Cooper.
Have a great afternoon.
Cooper.
Hell is this thing?
This is a mid-engine Corvette Stingray.
Goes 0 to 60 in 2.9 seconds.
And it still cannot get me
away from Trina fast enough.
Look, I know I tried to sleep with Franny.
Multiple times.
Never got in.
And you never got to finish with Trina,
at least this time. So it's a lose-lose.
We're even, no apologies,
because husbands say they're sorry,
but real men, we say, "Suck on it."
Let's go.
I don't know, Dev.
I'm not really
in a party mood right now. The
divorce has been brutal.
Oh, divorce is awesome.
Best money you ever spent. Come on.
We got the rocket ship
to go anywhere we want.
Say goodbye to misery.
Say, "Hello, gorgeous,"
to the greatest night of our lives.
It's over, dude.
You hung on way longer than you should've.
Now you gotta make up for lost time.
Let's do it.
Now we're talking.
- Got you a parting gift.
- Oh, Dev.
Buon appetito.
Fuck it.
Yeah.
Buckle up, baby!
We're going to Disneyland!
Sash, these last three months
have been amazing. Your brand is on fire.
Single Girl Cruises,
Third Way Education Vacations,
Girls Night Out across the country.
Plus, the lingerie line
is through the roof.
And the new vibrator sold out on Amazon.
Amazing.
I'm glad my message is getting out there.
And Mick wants to talk.
He's thinking about doing
the new book as a stealth release.
Just dropping it online,
kind of like Lemonade.
It's not gonna be free,
don't worry about that.
Right.
But, boom, once it's out there,
we jam it into all the book clubs.
Oprah, Reese, Jenna Bush,
Emma Watson, Kaia Gerber.
What's happening?
Do you see a celeb?
Oh, no.
I saw Dua Lipa here last week.
She is so skinny.
We have the same Prada mini bag.
- Dua Lipa. Cool.
- Mm-hm.
Um
You know what?
This wine is running right through me.
- I'm just gonna use the ladies' room.
- Yeah.
- Be right back.
- Okay.
Oh, my God. Kam?
Sasha.
How are you?
Great.
How's your new book coming?
Almost done.
Already planning the next tour.
Everything's
really good.
Well, glad to see you're so happy.
Take care.
I miss you.
Sorry.
I know you're on a date.
She's a colleague.
I'm helping her with a speech
she's giving at the UN.
Wow, impressive.
Sash?
I thought you said the doc was done.
You better hope Mick doesn't find out.
Really sorry about that.
Just like old times.
Look
I know you don't owe me anything.
Do you think we could get a drink
and talk?
Someplace not by a bathroom
while people are waiting for us.
I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important,
but
I need this.
Why is Majid your boyfriend
and not your friend?
Well, he's my friend and my boyfriend.
Does he have kids or a dog?
Does he know Daddy?
No, no, honey.
He does not know Daddy.
Hi, we're on our way.
I'm so excited to see you.
It's like I'm even more
turned on knowing
And you're on speakerphone!
- Ah.
- Ah.
Sorry!
Hey there, Hudson and Ellary.
We're gonna have an awesome time today.
I cannot wait to meet you.
Okay.
All right then,
we'll see you soon, boyfriend.
See you, baby.
Why did he call you a baby?
- Smell that?
- Mm-hm.
That is the scent of possibility,
my friend.
Suck it in all the way down to your balls.
Oh, yeah.
My man, two shots of Patron
and you're going to keep them coming.
Aw, shit. I'm missing this presentation
with Deutsche Bank.
Oh, dude, tell Heinrich and Gandalf
to küss deinen ass!
- You know what, you're right.
- Yeah.
Fuck it. Cheers.
To never having to visit
with Trina's awful parents
in fucking Toledo ever again.
Here's to never having to pretend
that the craziest lingerie outfit
she wears
don't make her look like a total whore.
Cheers to that.
All right.
We gotta figure out
your divorce bucket list, right?
All the shit you're gonna do
with your newfound freedom.
- Top three. Go.
- No, I don't know!
I'm gonna get
I'm gonna get a bachelor pad in the city.
- Yeah.
- With a big screen TV.
I'm gonna watch the game
whenever the hell I want
without anyone trying to fuck me
in the middle of it.
Come on, bigger!
Yeah, I'm gonna learn to surf
in the Maldives.
- Bigger!
- I'm gonna go to space.
- There you go.
- With fucking Musk and Bezos.
I'll find that roadster
he launched up there.
I'm gonna drive that bitch around Mars.
Or we can just find some chicks
to shag here tonight, right?
Yes, on Mars.
Dude, trust me,
ditching she-who-shall-not-be-named
is going to be the best decision
you've ever made in your life, all right?
Do you have any more that coke?
Did we bring that?
Easy, space cowboy,
how about we just examine our prospects?
- Ooh.
- Mm-hm.
I got dibs on the redhead.
Fine. You can have her first.
Bottle of Cristal, four glasses.
Yes, sir. Coming right up.
Ladies.
Who's up for some champers?
Sure.
I'm Piper, this is Bianca.
What are we celebrating?
Freedom.
Hey, free man. Is it snowing out?
Any more where that came from?
Why don't you ladies come up
to our room and find out.
- We have a room?
- Yes.
We have the Shangri-La Suite,
because I told you
tonight is going to be a celebration.
- Mommy, look.
- It's beautiful.
- Can we stop, Mommy? Please?
- Okay. Yes.
But just for a minute, okay?
Oh!
Wow.
Billie.
Is this your boyfriend?
No. No, this is my old friend, Brad.
This is Ellary and this is Hudson.
I remember.
Yeah.
How you going, little man?
Up top. Right there. Oh, that's nice.
Hey, they're cool kicks.
Wish I had a pair.
- Maybe I can borrow yours, huh?
- Your feet are too big.
What? These?
I guess you're right.
And who's this little one?
This is my son.
Hendricks.
Wow, Hendricks.
Yeah.
Look at you. You did it.
You're a dad.
Yeah.
It's the best thing
that's ever happened to me.
But whatever happened to the?
Well, the last time
we spoke things were
- Complicated?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
I did lose the company.
Oh, my God, Brad.
It turns out it doesn't even matter.
It's being a father. This
This is what I was born to do.
And I'll get back to it at some point.
Start all over again
with new artists. So
It's all good.
And what about Gigi?
Is she okay with everything?
She loves her son.
Billie.
Hi, babe.
Brad.
Congrats.
Thanks, mate.
Uh, Majid, this is Hudson.
This is Hudson and this is Ellary.
- So great to finally meet you guys.
- Yeah.
Oh, come on, you know how
to shake hands. Come on.
- Hey.
- I should get out of here.
Why?
- It was great running in to you, Billie.
- Yeah. You too.
What a day.
Hey, it's not over yet.
Yeah.
Today is ours.
Give me those pants, hot shot.
- Want them?
- Mm-hm. Mm-hm.
Cute little panties there, Tarzan.
- That's hot.
- Yeah. Yeah, I like my junk secured.
What can I get you?
I'll take a Jack and Coke.
Feels a bit like
a Jack and Coke kind of night?
You know what?
Let's just skip the Jack, huh?
And go straight to the coke.
Whoa. I bet you can't get
all that in a oner.
I got this.
Oof!
Yeah.
I love this song.
I am a golden god!
Yo, Machine Gun Connelly, your shot.
Fuck.
Dude, you're supposed to walk
around the furniture.
Well, who put the fucking chair there,
huh?
Huh?
Fuck this chair.
- Hey, fuck this chair! Fuck this chair!
- Fuck this chair!
Fuck this chair!
Fuck this chair! Fuck this chair!
- Whoo!
- Yeah!
Just take the shot. Just take the shot.
Come on.
Ladies, ladies! Bras.
Who is it?
That looks hard.
No. I'll show you how.
You can do this. Just, uh, knee first.
Hold it above your knee and buck,
kick your knee up.
Try again, try again, try again.
You got it.
Okay, do it one more time, one more time.
I hate this game!
Your mom said you love soccer.
Um, okay. You know, when I was little,
every time I tried to kick a ball,
I fell on my butt,
but I kept trying because the only way
you get better at something
is through perseverance.
You can't give up so easy.
You said "butt."
Yes, yeah, I said "butt,"
because when I was little,
I fell on my tiny butt,
and if I fall now,
I fall on my big, big butt.
Oh, my God, you have a butt.
He has a butt! Everyone has a butt!
There's butts everywhere.
There's so many butts!
Butts, butts, butts!
You know what's a better word than butt?
Chocolate!
Does little miss cutie like chocolate too?
She certainly does.
Hey, what do you say
we go to my restaurant
and order one of everything
on the dessert menu.
You ever heard of a Nutella lava melt?
- I love Nutella.
- High five. Unh!
Okay. Let's go. Leave your car.
It's a few blocks.
It's a nice day. Let's walk.
Okay.
Let's walk.
Here we go!
It's been a crazy ride
these last few months.
I'm sure.
With the foundation, the vibrator.
I saw the billboard.
Can't miss it.
And the crossword.
Right?
Still it hasn't been everything
I thought it would be.
Because something's missing.
You.
It's been like
standing on Kilimanjaro all alone.
Until today.
You walked in
and I felt this jolt of electricity
through my whole body.
I felt that too, but these last few months
have been really hard, Sash.
I've been dreading running into you.
Because that's how this town is.
I just knew if I saw your face
I'd be done for.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
All I do know is that I love you.
I want to be with you.
I don't know how to make that happen,
but you are what I want.
Okay. All right.
Look, how about 10 Benjamins
and my wife's ticket
to Jagged Little Pill?
You know you want to go with me.
I guess it's time to head home.
I'm gonna miss the two of you
all night long.
No.
I don't wanna go home.
It's the last place I wanna go.
Sorry, hot shot, but our fun is done.
Unless, of course, you wanna
put some more money in the meter.
Yes. Okay, I hired them.
But, dude, it was only to guarantee
a great fucking time
and a great time fucking.
And you really thought
that two hours was gonna do it?
Oh!
Really?
Ladies, how much
for the rest of the night?
Five grand.
Each.
You take Apple Pay?
Apple Pay, Zelle, Venmo,
and PayPal for you old guys.
Shit, this is fucking awesome, bro.
Wow. Cool car.
Yeah, that's insane.
But where do we sit?
- Oh, shit.
- You're right. Yeah.
Piper and I could sit on your lap
or maybe call an Uber.
No, I got a better idea.
Okay, hold on. Hold on.
- We need to talk. We need to talk.
- No.
Look, there are a million things
that don't make sense right now,
but please,
let's just have this one moment.
You and me.
Together.
I know it hurts ♪
You know ♪
I'd quench that thirst ♪
- I can treat you better than her ♪
- You say you're lonely ♪
I say you'll think about it ♪
'Cause you're the only one
Who resonates ♪
That chase, mouth open like high ♪
Higher than a motherfucker
Dreaming of you as my lover ♪
Flying like a streamer
Thinking of new ways to do each other
Pull out the incisor
Give me two weeks ♪
You won't recognize her ♪
We can have all of this?
I brought it for you.
Clearly you have never been around kids
on a sugar high.
Come on, it's a special day.
A little chocolate never hurt anyone.
Can Majid come to my soccer game tomorrow?
Um Well, it's not up to me.
I mean, it's up to Majid.
I would be honored.
Yay!
Uh, okay, you two, enjoy.
I just need a minute
to talk to your mom. Okay?
Okay. Whoa, Maj,
I can't leave my kids all alone
in a busy restaurant
in the middle of New York City.
Don't worry.
Hey, Barb, can you sit
with my little friends for a sec?
Happy to, boss.
I just need a minute.
Oh.
How'd I do?
Gold star!
A-plus! Blue ribbon!
Mm. Maj, what are you doing?
I just want you so much.
Okay, yeah. Well, I want you too,
but I really do
have to get back to the kids.
Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry.
But
I know
one way that you could be
at Hudson's game tomorrow.
Come stay with us in Connecticut tonight.
You sure?
This feels good.
We feel good.
I mean, I never thought
this is how today would end, but
Maybe we are the new dream.
Sometimes your worst day can be your best.
Trust me, it's a lot cheaper than a wife
and a hell of a lot more fun.
Delivery service, baby,
that's some white glove shit right there.
Hey, you're welcome.
Thanks for coming out.
My pleasure.
Don't worry, this will make you happy.
Hey, let's get out of here.
Where did you have in mind?
Wherever these 'vettes
can stretch their legs a bit.
Let's see what these babies can do.
How about some place
I can show you what I can do?
How about we hot tub it up?
Trina took the kids to her parents'.
So I got the house to myself.
Beep, boop, bap, boop.
Spa module activated.
I don't want to go to Greenwich.
We're in a New York state of mind.
We're going backcountry, bro.
See what these babies can do.
That was amazing.
That has never been our problem.
Look, I know we need to talk.
What did you want to tell me before?
Well
these past few months
a lot's been happening for me too.
First Do No Harm is expanding to Asia.
Setting up an operation center
in Singapore.
It'll double the number
of people we can serve.
So
So, what are you trying to say?
I leave in a month.
Oh, my God.
I knew I needed to get out of New York
if I had any chance of getting over you.
I figured I'd never run into you
on Kay Poh Road.
So I drove you out of town?
Well, you are a big part of the reason
why I came back in the first place.
At least the hope of you.
I know.
We're right back where we were
all those years ago.
But I would never
be able to live with myself
if I didn't at least ask.
Come with me.
Kam.
I don't know.
There's no right or wrong answer.
Whatever you decide.
You'll always be my dream.
Hi, hold on.
Ellary's still awake?
This is what happens
when you jack little people up on sugar.
I know, I know. Okay.
Wow, this house is beautiful.
Yeah.
- A little bigger than your New York place.
- Oh.
Oh. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
Ah. Welcome to my other life.
I gave Olga the night off, so
Okay, there's wine in the fridge.
I'm gonna put Ellary to bed
and I will be back in 10.
I'm good, don't stress.
It's so weird to be back here.
What do you mean back?
I grew up in Connecticut.
My parents still live here.
Married for 35 years.
Living the dream.
No, fuck that dream. This is the dream.
Sorry. It took forever to get Ellary down.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
Long day.
Yeah. Yeah.
I should, uh
I should probably take a shower.
Maybe
you could come with me?
Do you want to come upstairs?
Are you sure?
It is why I asked you here.
Whoo!
This is crazy.
It's an Algonquin word. Did you know that?
- What did you say?
- Connecticut.
The Native Americans
were here long before us, so
That's an Algonquin word.
Connecticut:
"Land of the Long Tidal River."
I always loved that.
I don't want to talk about Connecticut.
Okay?
That's Cooper.
I've been meaning to replace that.
I just wasn't sure what to do.
I thought maybe the kids
Come here.
Okay, I get it.
You're clearly a family man.
Everyone out here is married with kids.
Let me guess:
a boy and a girl, one of each.
You seem like a guy
who gets everything right.
Where are my babies?
Come here, bud.
Oh, you are so gigantic.
No, I'm not married. Not anymore.
Eyes on screen to left of me ♪
So that's what tonight's about, huh?
You want me to help you forget?
I can certainly try.
Don't.
Baby, don't turn your back to me ♪
Baby, don't turn your back to me ♪
Baby, don't turn your back to me ♪
Baby, don't turn ♪
I know it's hard,
because there are a lot of good moments
mixed in with the bad.
And if you forget them,
it's like they never even happened, right?
What are you doing?
But they did happen.
All those beautiful moments.
Stop talking.
And you need to honor them.
For the kids, if nothing else.
All those beautiful moments.
Shit.