Sexy Beasts (2021) s02e05 Episode Script

1
One of my doubts about you was that
you haven't been in a relationship before,
so why do you think that is?
I just go for the wrong people.
What about you?
I used to, like, get myself into
some weird situations.
No, nothing weird about this.
[narrator] Let's face it,
when it comes to dating,
it's all about looks.
- I was on the cover of Playboy.
- [slurping]
So, in this show,
we've made everyone look ridiculous.
I think it looks like a ball bag.
Could you fall in love
based only on personality?
This could possibly be love.
And would you change your mind
when you saw their real face?
- Wow, wow, wow.
- Welcome to the weirdest blind date ever.
Are you ready to marry me?
This is Sexy Beasts.
Meet Paige,
a digital content creator from Chicago.
I feel like I've been through
a lot of situationships,
and now I'm, like, no nonsense
when it comes to dating.
If the guy isn't really looking for
what I'm looking for,
I call it quits right away.
I am looking for something
a little bit more serious.
And nothing says serious like this show.
So, what kind of guy are you looking for?
I'm looking for someone who's spontaneous,
who will romance me, and if the guy
is able to make me laugh nonstop,
he just might be the one.
But it would be nice to find someone
whose bones I want to jump today.
[giggling]
My mom's not gonna like that. [laughing]
Eh, she won't recognize you.
So, let's meet the three boys who might
be up for some serious bone-jumping.
Sporting some beautiful plumage is AJ,
a podcaster and singer from Boston.
Okay, let's take it from the top ♪
Yeah, he's a songbird.
So, as far as my relationship
history is concerned,
I've essentially just been
a third wheel my whole life.
I'm usually the worst
at flirting in person.
I never know when to make a move,
and then I get friend-zoned real easy.
Aw. So, what are you hoping for
today, my feathered friend?
To have chemistry with someone,
to really get on with someone.
Just not end up in the friend zone.
Next up, we have Marcus, a boxer
and boxing trainer from Essex, UK.
I box. I sing. I can cook.
I can do a bit of steak. I can do pasta.
I drive, so, you know,
I got it all at the moment. [chuckling]
He cooks pasta and has a driving license?
How on Earth is this guy single?
I've never really been
in a relationship, but hey-ho,
I'm on this show,
and hopefully things could change.
I should definitely be the sexy beast.
Just look at me. [laughing]
Completing the lineup is Cornel,
a personal trainer
originally from Romania,
now living in the UK.
I definitely think people
judge me on my looks.
I mean, you should never
judge a book by its cover,
but I'm a strong nine out of ten.
I'd hate to think there's
no room for improvement. [laughing]
Well, someone's putting the "sass"
in Sasquatch, am I right?
I'm good at talking to women,
picking women up,
but not so much the part after.
Ah, don't worry, buddy.
Hey, it happens to all of us.
There's no shame in it.
We're talking about the same thing, right?
I'm a big romantic at heart. I'm the type
of guy that will leave a rose on the bed.
But girls like bad boys,
so maybe I need to be more of a dick.
Interesting tactic.
[Sasquatch roaring]
Paige will now date
all three guys in a London bar
- You look gorgeous.
- Oh, you look really cool.
- Sorry, you just turned me to stone.
- [laughing]
before giving one of them the boot
based purely on first impressions.
- What would you say turns you on in a guy?
- I really like a nice smile.
[laughing] That's you trying to smile.
And only then will she see
what he really looks like.
Do you like my hair?
Wanna touch it? It's really soft.
- I'll Maybe later.
- I love it. [laughing]
Time to get snake charming.
Tell me more about yourself.
So, I'm a musician.
I've been doing it since
I was, like, a kid.
I got a Guinness World Record for it.
Oh, what was the record?
Youngest professional rock band.
- What? That's really cool.
- Uh, yeah.
I've never met anyone who had
a Guinness World Record. Impressive.
- It still doesn't feel real.
- Yeah.
He's just a really cool guy.
So, what is the most surprising
or interesting thing about you?
Probably my work ethic. I'm a boxer.
- Oh.
- Do a bit of music, as well.
I think a nice boxer body
is top notch, so, yeah.
So, when was your last relationship?
I've never actually been
in a proper relationship.
Really?
The fact that Marcus hasn't had
a serious relationship before
does scare me a little bit,
but I felt, like, a good vibe from him.
If we have kids and they ask,
like, "How'd you guys meet?"
Are we telling them the truth,
or are we playing it cool?
I think we're gonna have to
tell them the truth, you know?
A Sasquatch walked in,
and he caught my eye.
[laughing]
There's something about
the beard on the Sasquatch.
It could really spice up my life.
What would you say
your biggest turn-offs are?
The vibe is definitely something that's
gonna either turn me on or turn me off.
- Mm-hmm.
- And I don't like feet, really.
- You don't like feet?
- I'm not a feet fan.
- I can't touch you with my foot?
- Yeah. Depends how
- How well I know you.
- That's really funny. [laughing]
I have a very chart-based mind.
I love stats. I love graphs.
- I make them for fun. It's so weird.
- Oh, wow.
I've never been on a date where the guy
brought up his graph-making abilities.
I would love to reach out to him
if I ever need a graph. [laughing]
[slurping]
I'm hoping to meet someone who might be
a bit more spontaneous than I am.
I like to go with the flow,
live in the moment.
I go hiking, I see a river,
and I'll jump in it.
Mm-hm. [chuckling]
I love the The beak.
Thanks. I, uh, have a love/hate
relationship with this beak.
It gets weirder.
When you see me eat broccoli
with the beak, that's a different thing.
[laughing]
I'm one for getting to know people
on a deeper level.
I'm open to meet someone.
I'm ready to just, like, kind of
have a special person that is
my best friend, my love, all I want.
I don't know if you can see,
because of the mask,
but that makes me Yeah.
It's nice to hear that.
I'm not one for faking the funk.
Oof, thank God.
No one likes a funk-faker.
If you was to go on Tinder,
you know, my face popped up
- [giggling]
- Looking like a hedgehog
[both laughing]
would you be swiping left
or would you be swiping right?
I think I might swipe right
just to find out what's going on.
Would you swipe right for me?
Uh
- Uh! Hesitation.
- Yeah.
- You hesitated too long.
- I definitely would.
[laughing]
Well, Paige now has to swipe
left on one of her boys.
So, what does everyone think
of their chances?
There was totally a spark.
There was a chemistry.
It's like, I could actually
see this working out.
I had fun. It was lovely to meet her.
She's a lovely girl.
I think we could be a really good team.
If it's meant to be, it'll be.
There's chemistry between us.
The vibe was good.
Hopefully, the hedgehog will be
going on another date. [chuckling]
I think it was really interesting
dating on personality alone.
All of the guys were great,
but, to be honest,
it hasn't been a difficult decision,
and I think I've already made it.
Our gorgon's got a guy in mind,
so let's head to Sexy Beast Manor,
rated five stars
for ditching unwanted dates.
Someone's about to have their heart
broken, and have his real face revealed.
I feel like shit's about to go down.
[laughing]
[Paige] Hi, guys.
- Hey, what's up?
- Hey. You good?
I had such a lovely time
with all three of you all.
AJ, we had such a great conversation,
but I'm still trying to decide whether our
connection was more romantic or friendly.
Cornel, I love how adventurous you are,
but I'm trying to decide
if I can keep up with you.
[laughing]
And Marcus,
I really love how passionate you are
about your talents, from boxing to music,
but I am a bit concerned that you've never
been in a relationship before.
That's fair play.
The person that I will not be
taking on another date is
[tense music playing]
AJ.
She's given the bird the bird.
[AJ] I'm a little bummed.
I genuinely thought we were going
on another date, but, you know,
power to her.
I think you're a great person, great guy.
You're gonna find someone.
Thank you. I appreciate that.
I've ended up in
the friend zone yet again.
Unlucky, bro.
[Paige sighs] It was tough
to make the decision,
because I didn't want to
send anybody home,
but I do think that I made the right one.
So, the parrot's been
kicked out of the nest,
which means we get to see
what he actually looks like.
Well, who's a pretty boy then?
He did rock that beak,
but this is admittedly better.
Paige is in for a real tweet.
No, you shut up.
Showtime.
[Paige] Oh, hey.
- Wow.
- Love it.
- [Marcus] I was not expecting that.
- My gosh.
[Cornel] Wow.
Incredible.
On a scale from parrot to ten,
how do I look?
Definitely at least a nine-and-a-half.
Oh, thank you.
- You are a good-looking boy.
- And I love your style.
Thank you. What a warm reception.
I was surprised at
how surprised they were,
because I thought my energy
kind of gave off what I looked like.
But I guess who knows?
I think I made the right decision,
because I still see AJ
as more of just a friend.
Well, that's AJ firmly cemented
in the friend zone.
But how will he feel when he gets
a bird's eye view of Paige's real face?
Oh, wow.
She is the type of girl
that I would normally go for,
so it's a bit disappointing.
But it is what it is.
So, the 'squatch and the 'hog
each now get a second date.
First to try and impress
our gorgeous gorgon is Cornel.
She should pick me because I'm fun,
I'm easygoing, I'm charismatic,
and we'll have a great time together.
I have no doubt.[laughing]
And Cornel has the perfect opportunity
for a great time with Paige,
a speedboat ride on London's River Thames.
- Be careful, and point it that way.
- [cork pops]
- Oh my God!
- Woo!
[Cornel] This is romantic.
You got more than me.
Oh, no. Let me, uh Let me
Let me top you up. Okay.
- Let's have a little bit more then.
- Cheers. Oh.
If you don't make eye contact
when you cheers your partner,
it's like seven years of bad sex, I think.
- [Cornel laughing]
- All right, let's
- [laughing]
- No, yeah, definitely, like
- [glasses clink]
- Cheers.
- Yep.
- That was a big sip.
- What?
- I'm thirsty.
[laughing]
Cornel really impressed me.
I felt comfortable.
It didn't feel forced or awkward at all.
I might actually get
a little tipsy off of this.
- [laughing]
- I was chugging a little fast.
- Cheers. Eye contact.
- Cheers, gotta look.
I think this could be our thing.
- What, drinking?
- That's how we cheers from here on.
It was a lot of fun. [laughing]
Look, we should, like,
reenact the Titanic here.
Ready?
I enjoyed getting to know her
a bit more. There is potential.
I'm not holding onto anything except you.
- Okay.
- Do not go flying.
So You don't go flying,
'cause you're gonna make me fall.
- It should be the other way around, then.
- Right?
- You hold onto me, I hold onto the boat.
- Why is that better?
- It's not, 'cause I
- [laughing]
- I've got more strength!
- I'd rather you fall and then me hold on.
I felt like I could be totally myself
and not care if I looked silly
or anything like that.
[laughing]
Being behind a mask has allowed me to be
a bit more loose, enjoy myself more.
And if I know Sasquatches,
he's really enjoying himself now.
Pulling a baller move
guaranteed to impress any girl.
[Cornel] How do you feel?
- Scared.
- Oh.
The whole point of me driving this boat is
for you to appreciate how amazing I am.
- Oh. Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
This is cool. Come on, compliment me.
I'm loving this. [laughing]
- I'm a little bit impressed.
- Let's pick up some speed.
Okay, slow, slow, slow, slow!
Well, that went well?
But will Cornel still float Paige's boat
back on dry land?
Well, dry-ish.
Do you always drink
this much on a first date?
- Did you have fun?
- It was very fun.
You drove the boat,
which I wasn't prepared for.
Do you trust me now?
No, I think I do.
I felt safe when you were driving,
even though you weren't really looking.
- That made me nervous.
- I was in control.
But you got us back safely,
so, yeah. Yeah.
- Do you think there could be another date?
- I was really impressed by you today.
- Thank you. [laughing]
- So, I mean
Your chances are pretty high.
I'll drink to that. Cheers. Eye contact.
Oh Cheers.
I feel like this opportunity gave me
a chance to see his personality
and see his, like, sense of humor.
It was really, really nice.
[Cornel] I had a great time,
a really good time.
It's really early on to get
my hopes up too much,
but I would love to go on another date
and just see how things go.
Well, who knows what the night will bring.
So, it's looking good for Cornel
after his trip on the love boat.
Can Marcus persuade Paige
to scrap the 'squatch?
I've got a good personality.
I'm bubbly. I'm funny.
Even with the mask on, I don't think
I've got a problem.[laughing]
But will there be room for romance
alongside a cow face, a cobra,
a one-legged pigeon, and a downward dog?
This is kinda weird.
As Marcus and Paige enjoy a yoga date
This one's eagle.
with yogini Nikki.
[breathing deeply]
[Nikki] Come up onto your hands and knees.
[Marcus] So, you've done this before,
or is this a first?
I have done yoga, like, one time.
I wasn't very good at it. But
I mean, I'm not very flexible.
- No?
- But I'll give it a go.
I was surprised that he wasn't
that flexible, being a boxer.
- Ooh.
- But we can work on that. [laughing]
[Nikki] Three-legged dog.
- I'm trying to hold it, but I'm slipping.
- You're not doing too bad.
It's tricky to get to know her when you're
trying to get your leg over your head.
- I've got cramp.
- [giggling]
You said you hated feet,
and we're now in a room
full of a bunch of bare feet.
Keeping their distance, it's all good.
None of 'em smell, so it's all right.
[laughing]
I think it's going really well.
We weren't able to talk that much,
but he was cracking some jokes,
which made me laugh.
[Nikki] This posture is called the cobra.
- This one's for you.
- [laughing]
So, what did you and, uh,
Cornel get up to?
- We actually went on a speedboat.
- [sighing] Damn.
- It was pretty cool.
- That does sound sick.
- They let him drive the boat.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- I've done that once before.
We hired one, just doing
donuts in the sea. It was fun.
It was a nice time. It was nice
getting to know him a bit better.
- Anyway, enough about him.
- [chuckling]
[Nikki] We're gonna chant a mantra.
You can either focus on your heart center
or you can focus on
the point between your eyebrows.
[Nikki] Om.
[all together] Om.
I was focusing on my heart center,
because I know that I have
a very big decision to make.
Don't know what I was focusing on.
[bell dings]
[whispering] Class dismissed.
[laughing]
You weren't as flexible as I thought
you were gonna be, but it's okay.
Yeah. I can get there. You can help me.
I'll see what I can do.
Marcus definitely makes me laugh.
- Yeah.
- It was good.
We've been getting along well.
One of my doubts about you was that
you haven't been in a relationship before,
so why do you think that is?
Mostly, I just go for the wrong people.
If it's not right
and the vibe's not there, I'm out.
- Good to know.
- What about you?
I used to, like, really get myself into
some weird, weird ones.
Yeah, well, no, nothing weird about this.
[laughing]
It's gonna be a really tough decision,
because I think both guys have such unique
characteristics about themselves.
I don't know who I'm going to choose.
I I really, really have to
do some thinking.
Well, hopefully she's thought,
because we're back at the Manor,
where Paige must now
choose her sexy beast.
Will she be making
eye contact with Cornel?
It's like seven years of bad sex, I think.
- All right, let's
- [laughing]
Or will Marcus finally be
getting his leg over?
- I got cramp.
- [giggling]
[Paige] Hi, guys.
- She's back.
- Hello.
I had such a great time with you both.
We had really, really fun dates
and it made it a really,
really tough decision.
'Cause you're both great.
Marcus, I feel like
our vibe is just natural.
We have a good time together,
and you remind me a lot of
the guys that I've dated in the past.
Cornel
I really love that you seem to know what
you want out of a relationship right now.
You're adventurous, you're fun.
You're really different from
what I've gone for in the past,
so I'm just trying to decide
what I need right now.
- Makes sense. Yeah.
- Sounds yeah, fair.
My sexy beast is
[tense music playing]
Cornel.
Captain Sasquatch has triumphed
over the inflexible hedgehog.
Yes! [laughing]
My decision was really difficult,
but it was time that
I tried something different.
- I'm really happy that you chose me.
- Yeah.
- I look forward to getting to know you.
- It's been an exciting journey. [laughing]
I was a bit disappointed, obviously.
It would've been nice
to be chosen, but I'm still out here.
So, ladies, if you like what you see,
then my DMs are open. [laughing]
I feel like a sexy beast. Of course
I want to know what she looks like,
but at the same time if we had to go on
another date looking the way we do now
I'd be equally happy.
If he's really ugly,
that might be a little bit of an issue,
but he has a heart of gold, so that is
going to be taken into consideration.
We'll have to wait to find out
whether Cornel is really ugly,
because first we're gonna reveal the real
face behind our snake-haired siren.
Well, look me in the eyes
and turn me to stone.
The gorgon really is gorgeous.
Before she meets him,
let's de-prickle runner up Marcus.
The full package.
Good looks, a driver's license,
and he can boil pasta.
Wow!
Time for Paige to see what she's missing
as they meet in
the manor's Tunnel of Love.
Yo, what you sayin'?
- Hi!
- Good?
[giggling] Oh, my gosh.
- You look lovely, by the way.
- You look nice, too.
- Wow.
- Yeah, this is so mad.
Marcus is very handsome.
I expected him to be a handsome guy.
Mm-hm. [laughing]
But I'm still really excited
to see Cornel.
I was more nervous for this
than the actual dates. I was like
Well, you look nice.
She's a good-looking girl, very pretty.
Thank you.
[Marcus] You know,
I probably would. [chuckling]
Hm. Well, that's nice.
But now for the moment
we've all been waiting for.
The big-foot reveal.
What does our sexy Sasquatch look like
after a full body shave?
And will Paige want to jump his bones
[sighing quietly]
when she meets the real Cornel
for the very first time?
[triumphant music playing]
[gasping] Ah!
- Wow.
- [giggling] Yeah.
Whoa!
He said he was a strong nine
out of ten, and he was not lying.
That is one sexy ex-squatch.
How are you? Let me give you a quick kiss.
- Oh, oh!
- No, no, on the cheek.
How are you doing?
- Good. Oh, my God.
- Lovely to meet you properly.
[giggling] He could be
a model or something.
- You're gorgeous.
- Thank you.
And so are you.
Not what you had in mind?
- No.
- No, me neither.
Genuinely, I'm blown away.
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
She looks fantastic.
She's a very good-looking girl.
I am so happy.
For me, it doesn't change anything.
I wanted to see
if there can be a connection,
like, not knowing what
the other person looks like, so
I'd like to see you again.
I definitely think
we should hang out again.
- Mm-hm.
- I mean
Maybe not another speedboat.
- Not another speedboat.
- No.
I'm definitely happy with my decision.
Jump his bones?
I don't know just yet.
Stay tuned. [laughing]
- Well, you look freezing. Let me, uh
- I am.
- I'll give you this.
- That's so sweet.
Thank you.
Don't get too used to it.
I don't share my clothes.
- Oh. I mean, I might steal this.
- I'm joking!
[laughing]
I am looking for a girl
that's like my mom.
- You look sexy.
- Looks aren't everything.
Are you serious?
Pressure's on.
Only one person can win,
and that's gonna be me.
[theme music playing]