Son of a Critch (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

1
Our family didn't
like to talk about the past.
Pop?
Uh, when did your father die?
Uh, 1896.
He drowned when I was two.
He was a whaler.
The whale won.
Mostly because there
wasn't much good to talk about.
And his father?
Drowned.
And his?
Lost at sea.
Why?
It's homework. We have
to do a family tree.
Good God, what would you
want to do a family tree for?
You spend all that time
and money trying to find out
where you came from, and
then you spend twice as much
trying to cover it all back up again!
The only time
my parents looked back
was to toss some salt
over their shoulder.
Oh, Mom?
When did your mother die?
It's not nice to talk about the dead.
I'm going to bed.
What?
Sorry, son.
Our family tree is more like a shrub.
An over-watered one at that.
Good God, who's
calling the house at this hour?
See, the Critches were
fishermen from Liverpool.
Now, my brother Moses, he didn't drown!
He died of TB.
- Put that in there.
- Yeah.
That's important.
What's that again?
Brendan ?
Oh?
Uncle Brendan
was a travelling salesman.
He was always in trouble.
What's he done now?
It's not the police, is it?
Oh, it's probably
somebody looking for money.
But he was
still Pop's favourite.
Just say he isn't here.
He isn't here!
Ah, look, I haven't seen Brendan in
Let me have that again?
Oh, uh
Okay, well, thanks for letting us know.
Goodbye.
Well, what is it?
What's the trouble
the boy's got into now?
He's dead.
Wha ?
My family
tree was losing leaves
like it was the windiest day in Autumn.
The Critch family
plot was close to bursting,
but there was just enough
room for uncle Brendan
to slip in like the
missing piece of a puzzle.
Mike shouldn't
somebody say something?
Uncle Brendan
Uncle Brendan was, um
He was
Try as I might,
I just couldn't make the tears come.
And try as he might, my brother
just couldn't stop them.
Come on.
I just spoke to Bucky.
He tells me that the
grave is packed tight.
The only way we're gonna
get poor Brendan in there
is if we stick him in sideways.
Good God!
Shh, keep it down!
Geez.
I always thought that I'd be
in there alongside your mother.
What about me?
This is not about you.
This is about me!
You go ahead, Dad. I'll
make sure it's done.
You sure?
Yeah.
All right, everyone.
Nothing to see here.
Got some tiny sandwiches
up at the house.
Come on, girl.
We checks in on our
crowd before we goes.
Well, Mike, b'y.
Hard losing a brother, eh?
You must be torn apart.
Hm.
A cemetery trip
was a family archivist's dream.
I couldn't see the forest
for the family trees.
Uh, Mom?
Yes, my love?
Where's my grandmother?
Her name's not on here.
Why would her name
be there? She's not
Say a prayer, Alice. You'll
be in there soon enough.
They just never added her name is all.
She was a very
Private person.
Now, give it up being morbid.
You're on me last nerve.
Alice, we're gone.
Fine, stay and water the flowers.
Like Bucky the gravedigger,
the more I dug, the more I uncovered.
Oh, now, look who's decided to show up.
Fashionably late!
I was burying my brother!
Sideways!
Next to my mother, whose coffin
has held up pretty well, by the way!
Boo-hoo-hoo, ya big poodle.
You couldn't even let your
brother have his special day!
Do you know what it was like
for me to have to see all that?
No, because I was here
entertaining our company!
I don't mean to interrupt,
but, uh, Mr. Critch
Mike is the only son you have left.
It's too late to change the past,
but it isn't too late
to adjust the future.
Ooh, jam-jams!
Don't mind if I do!
Yummy, yummy.
Okay.
Was I really a bad father?
Oh, no, Dad. Brendan loved you.
No, I don't mean to him.
I mean to you.
Oh. Well, uh
You did your best, Dad.
No, no.
No, I didn't.
It's too late for me and
Brendan and me now, but
It's not too late for you and I.
Come on.
- Mom?
- What, honey?
What did my grandmother die from?
Jesus Murphy!
Have we not had enough
death for one day?
Go make yourself useful!
Pass out those wieners!
It was unlike
my mother not to gossip
about someone.
Something was up.
Vienna sausage?
Ooh, Viennese!
We don't get these in the rectory.
Father, I'm
researching my family tree
and I'm missing some leaves.
Does the church have births, deaths?
That kind of thing?
Well, all that information
is kind of private.
It's not really for kids.
Well, I
I guess I could supervise?
Yeah.
There's plenty more
where that came from.
Use the bloody mitt!
Pop was determined
to make up for lost time,
and with Dad, that meant
starting over at the beginning.
You sure you don't
want to take your jacket off?
Nice and easy!
Oh!
Augh. Jesus.
Come on, this is wasted time!
Dislike father, dislike son.
Even Jesus had a more
detailed family tree than I did!
Whoa! Nice tree.
Very full.
Photo albums, arrest
records. It was easy.
How's yours?
I'm just having a little trouble
finding out where my grandmother is.
I don't really know my nan either.
Yeah, Dad cashed her pension cheques
so she's super pissed.
Shut up, nimrod!
Maybe we could help.
That'd be great!
I have a lead.
We will leave no tombstone unturned.
At Coles Funeral Home,
we want to help you to
Who should we leave the oven to?
What?
The oven. Who should get it?
Why are you writing a will?
The only one that gets any of our
stuff when we dies is the bank.
Why don't you just tell the
boy where his grandmother is?
No need to go stirring all that up.
Let dead dogs lie.
You can't change the past.
We are gonna do something we
should have done years ago.
I'm gonna teach you how to fish.
Come on.
You'll love it.
Sorry.
In every life we have some trouble. ♪
But if you worry
you makes it double. ♪
Don't worry! ♪
Be happy! ♪
Jesus, Mike.
Don't worry!
Be happy!
Don't worry ♪
Be happy ♪
Don't worry, be happy. ♪
Woo ♪
Frig, Mike. What's wrong?
I miss Uncle Brendan.
You know, he just got me,
and now he's just gone,
and it's not fair.
It never is.
Brendan was good for a laugh.
He wouldn't want to see you like this.
Oh
Geez, yeah, he'd be
pretty embarrassed, huh?
No, b'y.
I never seen anyone take to
this place as quick as you.
Brendan would be proud to be your uncle.
I know I would be.
Look, I got ya something
I been meaning to give ya.
Oh, yeah? What is it?
Not much time left in this song.
Hang on.
No way!
You earned it.
Well, come on! Try it on!
Don't worry ♪
Oh!
Thanks Uncle Dick.
Oh
Jesus.
Even priests can be tempted.
Hey, you kids gotta hurry up.
If Brother Angel comes
back, he'll crucify me.
I can't find her anywhere!
She's a ghost.
That's the point.
She's dead.
Do you mind? She's still my grandmother.
She has to be in here somewhere.
We found her birth certificate.
What's this all about, anyway?
My mom says her mom's
buried in our plot,
but I can't find her
There or anywhere.
Well, there's an
explanation for everything.
Like turning water into wine?
Well, there might be more
info in the parish sectretum,
but that's off-limits.
Please, Father? Just this once?
I'm sorry, buddy.
I wish I could help, but even
I don't know what's in there.
Found it!
Holy crap!
Oh, no.
Uh
Okay, give that to me.
- No.
- I give it.
- Why would I
- Give it to me.
What's it say?
Nothing, it's stupid.
Your nan was divorced!
Divorce!
The only Catholic "D"
word worse than death!
And she re-married!
But Catholics can't remarry.
She changed religions?
So we just have to check the
Protestant cemetery now, right?
No.
She won't be there.
Why not?
Because she's not dead!
Jesus Christ!
Be with you.
I should have taught
you how to fish years ago!
What?
I can't hear anything
over that bloody engine.
Make and break!
Old and reliable, just like me.
Waddaya at?
Asshole.
I wish we were on that one!
What?
Forget it, ya deaf old coot!
Exactly!
All right, sit down, lad.
Okay, here we go.
Mom?
Christ on a cracker!
You scared the bejesus out of me!
I have a question.
I don't want to hear it.
You come from a long
line of dead people.
That's all you need to know.
I promise I won't ask where
my grandmother is buried again.
Thank God for that.
So, where does she live?
Enough!
I got that much to do today, I
Stop lying!
She isn't dead! She isn't even Catholic!
What kind of mother lies about
a kid's grandmother being dead?
Well, she's dead to me.
"What kind of mother?" Wow!
The kind of mother who
didn't have one, I guess.
Mom, please. Please
Oh
The only thing I ever wanted
to keep from you was pain.
My parents got divorced
when I was seven years old.
The nuns looked at me like I
was the devil's own, which
I s'pose I was.
Mom, I'm sorry, I won't
Oh, duckie, I don't want to
be the kind of mother who lies.
I had enough of that myself.
So
So
One day my mother just
packed a bag and left,
like she was going to the store.
I begged her to take me with her,
but she just pushed me down
and told me to stay where I was.
And being a good girl,
I listened to her.
I never saw hide nor
hair of my mother again.
Looking at the
hurt in my mother's eyes,
I realized that some things
stay buried for a reason.
You want to know where she is?
She married a Clark and
she lives on Forest Road.
But you said never to go there.
"Nothing but skeets and hussies."
I didn't lie to you about that.
You knew where she was all this time
and you never even called her?
She's your mother!
I know when I'm not wanted.
If there was
one thing I was good at,
it was making things worse.
All right, let it hit the bottom,
bring it up a couple of
feet, and then start jigging.
That's what I'm doing!
Jerk it!
Ya jerk, don't you know anything?
I s'pose if Brendan was here now
he'd just walk out on the water
and the fish would just
start jumpin' in the boat?
All right! Oh
Oh, you've got it caught on
the bottom, you bloody jinker!
You're the one with the jigger!
You know, this was a mistake.
Here
We can finally agree
on something for once.
Oh, Jesus, now
It's completely seized.
Ah, I can't move that.
Can't you fix it?
Fix it?
I don't know anything about boats!
Well, what
are we gonna do now?
We're drifting out to sea!
I suppose it's the Critch
curse, finally caught up with us.
Well, it figures.
And the plot's full.
That must be her.
I was laying
eyes on my grandmother
for the first time
In a stakeout!
I bet those bags
are full of grandma stuff.
Like cookies and hard candy!
What are you gonna do?
I'm going in.
Wait.
This doesn't feel right.
What, are you crazy?
She's his grandma!
She's gonna hug him and
feed him and kiss him.
Trust me.
Not all families are like
the ones you see on TV.
I'm not doing this for me.
I'm doing it for Mom.
When's Brendan's birthday?
You don't know when your
own brother's birthday is?
October 2nd.
And when's mine?
What?
Oh
In the Summer.
What?
Look, I was easier on Brendan
because he needed me more.
You were
You were more self-sufficient
and you didn't need me.
And now, I mean, do you know
how hard it is for a father
to be dependent on his son?
Dad, it's not like that.
I never had a father.
I didn't know what it was to be one.
But seeing you with your boys
Now I know.
You are a great grandfather.
Ah, well
Little Mark, he's just
like you were at that age.
You know, maybe God
does give second chances.
I think I got something!
What do I do, what do I do?
Bring it up! Hand over hand!
That's it, hand over hand!
Come on, hand over hand, you got it!
- Ho-ho-ho!
- Oh!
We did it!
No, you did it.
Well done.
Oh!
Look!
Is you all right?
Fine, thanks! Movin' on!
No, no! Wait, wait, wait!
We need a tow!
Yeah, all right.
The motor's just a little trouble.
I could fix it, but the lad here,
he's a nervous Nelly!
I had lost an uncle,
and was about to gain a grandmother.
Oh, we don't donate at the door.
Oh, Johanna Clark?
Yes.
My name's Mark Critch.
Uh, we haven't met before,
but I believe I'm your grandson?
Who's at the door?
Just someone looking for donations.
Get rid of them!
What what do you want?
Money?
No, I just
Wanted to meet you.
Well, you met me.
Johanna?
Some things are better
left buried in the past.
I have a new life now.
Don't come back here again.
The door closed more firmly
than Ucle Brendan's coffin lid.
Mom had come looking for me.
And good thing, too.
She had been hurt by her mother before,
and this apple hadn't fallen
far from the family tree.
You were right.
She doesn't want to know me.
You okay?
Yeah.
Oh, for God's sake!
Remember me?
No point digging up old bones.
You never even told
him about me, did ya?
You old bat!
Hi, there!
I'm just her daughter
from the first marriage!
Surprise, she's not the
vestal virgin you thought!
Have fun with that.
You little bitch.
No.
It's Critch.
You know, you may not have
missed out on much with me,
but you sure missed out on my boys.
Well, that's your loss, not theirs.
Come on, kids, we're going home.
Every family has a story.
Some say we're who we are
because of who we come from.
I disagree.
We decide who we are
and who our family is.
You live as long as you're remembered.
To me, my family will live forever.