Strangers with Candy (1999) s02e05 Episode Script
The Blank Page
1
Donkettes.
Jesus!
Someone should give you
a little warning
about the water around here.
God!
Oh, wow!
Like what you see, señor?
Uh-huh.
[GUMS CLICKING]
Catch you later, then.
What's the matter, Jerri?
Ugh, it's those cheerleaders.
Whenever they're around,
no one gives me the time of day.
I do.
You know what I mean, Orlando.
I mean no one in my species.
Well, then, why don't you go
to the cheerleader tryouts?
Hmm, maybe I will.
When are they?
Tomorrow, just like it says.
I know what it says.
I mean, what time are
the tryouts?
3:00.
Can't you read?
Of course I can read.
See?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta go pee.
[SIZZLING]
Hello, I'm Jerri Blank.
32 years ago I dropped
out of high school
and ran away from home.
Oh, I made a lot of friends,
did a lot of time.
I was a boozer,
a user, and a loser.
I stole the TV.
Did some more time.
But now I'm back in school!
And though the faces
may have changed
The hassles are just the same.
All right.
Anyone who doesn't not want to
avoid passing the midterm exam,
raise your hand now.
Okay.
Those of you who raised
your hands will fail,
as you requested.
Now, whose turn is it
to read aloud, hmm?
Suzy, why don't you read
chapter one of Moby Dick?
Mr. Noblet, we're
gonna be cheering on
the football team this weekend,
so it's probably
best if I save my voice.
Good idea, Suzy.
Here, why don't you buy
yourself something girly?
Okay, who is next?
Who wants to read aloud
from this very long,
very difficult book?
How about you
Jerri?
Actually, I'm trying out
for cheerleading tomorrow,
and I should save my voice too.
Jerri, that lame excuse
is not gonna work
when you use it.
I've already read this one.
Isn't this about
that guy?
We're all waiting, Jerri.
[CLEARING THROAT]
All righty, let's see.
There was this, uh,
old man with a beard,
and he became friends with
a big white fish.
And they became
such good friends
that the fish moved in
with the old man.
But his old lady
freaked out on him,
so the fish dick decided
to go on a road trip.
And he got busted,
because they found out
that he had a lot of narcotics
hidden in his, uh, belly,
and, uh, so, uh,
he actually did
five to ten at the state pen.
Beautifully read, Jerri.
Thank you.
Chip, why don't you
read the next chapter?
"Meanwhile, repeating
a string of
"insufferable maledictations,
retreating not
the thousandth part"
["CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON"
PLAYING IN HEADPHONES]
Get away.
Ladies.
Hey, Jerri, didn't you
read the sign?
Cheerleaders only.
[LAUGHING]
Mind if I sit here?
Nope.
I'm Glenn, the bus driver.
Jerri, the passenger.
If you're the bus driver,
then why aren't you
driving the bus?
Well, Jerri, many years ago
Oh, no.
I was hired to be the bus driver
here at Flatpoint.
They gave me all
the important routes:
To school in the morning,
back in the afternoon
You name it.
I remember the first day
I ever sat behind that,
uh, that roundy thing.
The wheel?
The wheel, right, the wheel.
It was a gray afternoon.
Hi, kids!
Welcome to my bus.
[CHEERING]
Come on, guys, let's get going.
Let's go, on the bus,
time to go home.
GLENN:
I was raring to go.
Hey, pretty one.
Hi, how you doing?
All right, everybody in?
Let's hit it!
The weather was clear that day.
The road was wide open.
Yet, for some reason, I heard
a tiny voice inside the head
of the little man inside
my head, telling me,
"don't do this
Don't do this, Glenn."
[CHANTING] Start
the bus! Start the bus!
[HORN HONKING]
[ENGINE STARTING]
[SCREAMING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
What went wrong?
I don't know how
to drive, Jerri.
Then how'd you get the job
as a bus driver?
I told 'em I could.
Ooh!
I thought it would just
kick in, but it never did.
Eventually, they pressured
me to drive.
What was I supposed
to say to that, Jerri?
That you can't?
Oh, sure, hindsight's 20/20.
You have no idea what
it's like to not be able
to do something that everyone
expects you to be able to do.
Oh, I think I do, Glenn.
And I also think that maybe
it's time to stop not doing
what you pretended
you can do and can't,
and start doing the thing
that you can't do
but can no longer
pretend that you can.
You're right, Jerri.
Y'know, one day, I'm gonna
get back behind that
Wheel.
Wheel, and I'm gonna drive.
Yes, you will, Glenn!
Just make sure I'm nowhere
near when the time comes.
[INTRO TO
"ON BROADWAY" PLAYING]
[NO SOUND]
[PANTING]
Good warm-up, ladies.
Let's get lined up.
It's time to see
who wants it bad enough.
First up, Shannon Tudyk.
Give me a "W"!
"W"!
Give me an "I".
"I"!
Give me an "N".
"N"!
What's it spell?
Win!
Woo!
"Win."
I knew that.
Thank you, Shannon.
Wow, that one I hate for
the things she can do.
She's perfect!
I agree, she's in.
Next up, Jerri Blank.
Give me a V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
What's it spell?
Win!
Jerri, uh what does
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?
Fandango?
Hobo camp?
Hob-hobo camp!
Jerri Blank is illiterate!
Calm down, people.
We will postpone these tryouts
until after we have all
recovered from Jerri's shame.
[LAUGHING]
Shame.
There's the freak
who can't read!
Hey, Jerri.
Hey, you illiterate!
You're so illiterate, you
probably can't even hear me,
you illiterate!
[LAUGHING]
BOY:
Jerri.
What do you want?
Look, Jerri, I just
It doesn't matter
that you can't read.
Don't listen to all that crap.
It doesn't change who you are.
Really?
Yeah.
You wanna go see
a movie tonight?
I'd love to, Daniel.
Thanks.
Great.
I'll pick you up at
Oh, wait a minute.
It's a foreign film,
I guess it does
matter that you can't read,
you dumb no-reading loser.
[LAUGHING]
Principal Blackman!
Jerri Blank, come with me.
Jerri, I'm an obtuse man,
so I'll try to be oblique.
Your illiteracy has made
me the whipping boy
of this school district.
I attended the school board
meeting this morning
and they all had
their little laugh.
It was a feeding frenzy
of cackling hyenas,
and I was
the wildebeest carcass.
So you will learn to
read, Jerri Blank.
And Mr. Noblet here
is going to teach you.
I'm not working with him.
He hates me.
Nonsense, Jerri.
Every student
"macaroniously" believes
that their teacher hates them.
Actually, on this one,
she's right on the money.
What's the difference?
You two will be
working together.
Get used to it.
I'll tell you what, Blank
You let Mr. Noblet
here teach you to read,
and I'll push back the tryouts
so that you can
have a chance to squeeze
that misshapen hulk of yours
into a cheerleading outfit.
Mr. Noblet, do you think
I could learn how to read?
Well, anything's
possible, Jerri.
It all depends upon me
and how much time I'm
willing to put in.
Get to work.
Full speed ahead on
the Ignoramus Express.
Okay, Jerri.
I think the first
thing we should do
is figure out what grade level
you're reading at, okay?
Do we start with Dick and Jane,
or maybe do we start
with the Mahabharata?
Why don't you show me
what you know?
This is crazy, I can read.
So read.
Book.
Uh, desk.
Desks!
More than one singular.
Chair.
Shiv.
Okay.
Looks like we'll be
starting in the womb.
Why don't we just try
the alphabet?
Okay, I'm gonna hold up a card
that has a letter on it,
and you try to tell me
what letter that is.
"B"!
I haven't held up
the card yet, Jerri.
Okay, ready?
Tepee.
Doggy bone.
Pitchfork on its side with
the handle broken off.
Faggot.
[LAUGHING]
Just a reading joke.
Let's try this one last time.
Juh.
Juh.
Eh.
Eh.
Ruh.
Ruh.
Eeh.
Eeh.
[GIGGLING]
Great.
Now put her all together.
Uh jih gypsies!
Filthy, dirty, thieving gypsies!
Stupid!
What?
I'd spell it out for you,
but you don't know how to read.
So I'll just say this as
delicately as I know how.
You are a big, fat, stupid,
zero fattie!
Fattie?
That's it, I've had it!
Cheerleading isn't
worth all this!
Jerri!
Este estudiante es
muy grande y muy gordo.
Repetí.
ALL: Este estudiante es
muy grande y muy gordo.
Muy tarde.
Uh, no, excuse me.
I'm looking for Driver's Ed.
Oh, this is Driver's Ed.
Because of a school budget
cutback, this semester
we are combining
Driver's Ed and Spanish.
So, sientate.
Hi, I'm in continuing
adult education.
Now open your Driver's Ed libro.
Donde está the stop sign?
Uh, I don't understand this.
This is in Spanish.
Exactamente.
Como se llamo usted?
Me llamo senora Maria de los
Angeles Pons Montez Garcia y Perez.
Como se llamo usted?
Glenn?
Hola, Glenn.
Donde está the stop sign?
Uh
Oh, eso no es.
Eso es the yield sign.
Aquí the stop sign.
Yield sign, stop sign,
yield sign, stop sign.
Ah, mucho estúpido.
Repetí:
Mucho estúpido.
Mucho estúpido.
I'll never learn how to drive.
Never!
En Español nunca, nunca!
He's the big fat zero, not me.
Glenn?
Hola, Jerri.
Hey, I'm blowing this joint.
You with me?
You're right, who wants
to be a bus driver?
Who wants to be a cheerleader?
You wanna be a cheerleader?
Aren't you kinda chunky?
Come on, let's go get hammered.
SUZY:
I'm so excited!
I can't wait for the big game!
Bill always gets us
to the game so safely.
I know, Bill is the best
bus driver ever.
I know, he's our hero.
Bill is our hero!
[CHANTING]
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill
Tepee
Stupid.
Ready for my lesson, chief.
I don't think so, Jerri.
I can do no more.
What do you mean?
I mean I quit.
[DING]
But I wanna be a cheerleader.
Why don't you
try to be something
a little more realistic,
like a paperweight?
Paperweight?
No, I still wanna be
a cheerleader.
Look, I have done my best
to shove knowledge into
that skull of yours,
but nothing takes.
God, I wish I knew what was
going on inside your head!
[DUCK QUACKING]
I guess I'll never know.
I came by to see the progress.
How's it going, Blank?
Okay.
Hm!
I'm impressed.
What else can you spell?
How about this?
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, well, spell it.
"O" "K".
What a shame.
I moved back
the cheerleading tryouts
to give you time to
conquer your idiocy.
But clearly idiocy has won!
Here you go, Jerri.
You can have these as
a souvenir of your failure.
Perhaps you could have
a four-year-old
decipher them for you.
It's just more shame.
C caaa uhhh
Cauuuh Uhh
Caaaaaa
Caaaaaa
Caaa
Caaaaa
What was that?
Caaaaaaa
My God, Jerri.
Say the last letter.
The last letter is a "T"!
What sound does "T" make, Jerri?
Ppp.
No, no, say it, say it.
"T".
Good, now put it together.
Caaaaaaatuh!
Yes, yes, yes!
Caaaaaat!
Cat!
Book, book.
B-O-O-K!
Book!
Cup!
C-U-P!
Desk!
D-E-S-K!
Pencil!
P-E-N-S-U-L!
Close enough.
She knows!
She knows!
Wait a minute!
I wanna be a cheerleader!
God, drama.
I love it!
Jerri, everyone knows
you can't be a cheerleader
if you can't spell.
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
Victory, victory,
that's our cry!
I'm wonderful!
Jerri, welcome to the squad.
[CHEERING]
Give me a V-A-G!
Hey, you know,
I'm not seeing anybody.
[LAUGHING]
Hey, Glenn, look.
Hey, Glenn, I thought
you went back to class.
I tried, but I couldn't
conjugate the verbs.
Manejar, manejo, maneje.
I'll never learn how to drive.
But, Glenn, you can't give up.
I didn't give up.
Well, actually, I did,
but later I didn't.
And the same
thing can happen to you.
Well, I bet if you got behind
that wheel and just relaxed,
you'd know what to do.
Right, everybody?
[ALL GROANING]
See, we're all
behind you, Glenn.
Thanks, Jerri, but I already
tried that once before.
But you never tried it
Twice before.
Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
ALL [CHANTING]: Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
Come on!
Let's hit it!
Woo!
You can do it!
Yes!
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn!
Go!
I'm doing it, Jerri!
I'm doing it!
He's doing it, he can drive!
And I can read.
Look, I'll read the map.
Oh, no, no, no,
that's okay, Jerri.
I know where I'm going.
We don't wanna get lost.
It's a very important game.
No, Jerry, I know
where I'm going
No, Glenn, I got it, I got it
We're going too fast!
[SCREAMING]
[CRASH]
[PASSENGERS MOANING]
Well, I've learned
a lot this week.
I've learned you
can do anything you want,
as long as you put
your mind to it.
But I've also
learned that reading is bad.
If I hadn't learned how to read,
none of these people shh!
None of these people in the bus
would have been hurt.
So don't read or write.
It's deadly.
Good night.
Ah-ow!
["ON BROADWAY" PLAYING]
[WHISTLE BLOWING]
Donkettes.
Jesus!
Someone should give you
a little warning
about the water around here.
God!
Oh, wow!
Like what you see, señor?
Uh-huh.
[GUMS CLICKING]
Catch you later, then.
What's the matter, Jerri?
Ugh, it's those cheerleaders.
Whenever they're around,
no one gives me the time of day.
I do.
You know what I mean, Orlando.
I mean no one in my species.
Well, then, why don't you go
to the cheerleader tryouts?
Hmm, maybe I will.
When are they?
Tomorrow, just like it says.
I know what it says.
I mean, what time are
the tryouts?
3:00.
Can't you read?
Of course I can read.
See?
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've gotta go pee.
[SIZZLING]
Hello, I'm Jerri Blank.
32 years ago I dropped
out of high school
and ran away from home.
Oh, I made a lot of friends,
did a lot of time.
I was a boozer,
a user, and a loser.
I stole the TV.
Did some more time.
But now I'm back in school!
And though the faces
may have changed
The hassles are just the same.
All right.
Anyone who doesn't not want to
avoid passing the midterm exam,
raise your hand now.
Okay.
Those of you who raised
your hands will fail,
as you requested.
Now, whose turn is it
to read aloud, hmm?
Suzy, why don't you read
chapter one of Moby Dick?
Mr. Noblet, we're
gonna be cheering on
the football team this weekend,
so it's probably
best if I save my voice.
Good idea, Suzy.
Here, why don't you buy
yourself something girly?
Okay, who is next?
Who wants to read aloud
from this very long,
very difficult book?
How about you
Jerri?
Actually, I'm trying out
for cheerleading tomorrow,
and I should save my voice too.
Jerri, that lame excuse
is not gonna work
when you use it.
I've already read this one.
Isn't this about
that guy?
We're all waiting, Jerri.
[CLEARING THROAT]
All righty, let's see.
There was this, uh,
old man with a beard,
and he became friends with
a big white fish.
And they became
such good friends
that the fish moved in
with the old man.
But his old lady
freaked out on him,
so the fish dick decided
to go on a road trip.
And he got busted,
because they found out
that he had a lot of narcotics
hidden in his, uh, belly,
and, uh, so, uh,
he actually did
five to ten at the state pen.
Beautifully read, Jerri.
Thank you.
Chip, why don't you
read the next chapter?
"Meanwhile, repeating
a string of
"insufferable maledictations,
retreating not
the thousandth part"
["CARRY ON MY WAYWARD SON"
PLAYING IN HEADPHONES]
Get away.
Ladies.
Hey, Jerri, didn't you
read the sign?
Cheerleaders only.
[LAUGHING]
Mind if I sit here?
Nope.
I'm Glenn, the bus driver.
Jerri, the passenger.
If you're the bus driver,
then why aren't you
driving the bus?
Well, Jerri, many years ago
Oh, no.
I was hired to be the bus driver
here at Flatpoint.
They gave me all
the important routes:
To school in the morning,
back in the afternoon
You name it.
I remember the first day
I ever sat behind that,
uh, that roundy thing.
The wheel?
The wheel, right, the wheel.
It was a gray afternoon.
Hi, kids!
Welcome to my bus.
[CHEERING]
Come on, guys, let's get going.
Let's go, on the bus,
time to go home.
GLENN:
I was raring to go.
Hey, pretty one.
Hi, how you doing?
All right, everybody in?
Let's hit it!
The weather was clear that day.
The road was wide open.
Yet, for some reason, I heard
a tiny voice inside the head
of the little man inside
my head, telling me,
"don't do this
Don't do this, Glenn."
[CHANTING] Start
the bus! Start the bus!
[HORN HONKING]
[ENGINE STARTING]
[SCREAMING]
[TIRES SCREECHING]
What went wrong?
I don't know how
to drive, Jerri.
Then how'd you get the job
as a bus driver?
I told 'em I could.
Ooh!
I thought it would just
kick in, but it never did.
Eventually, they pressured
me to drive.
What was I supposed
to say to that, Jerri?
That you can't?
Oh, sure, hindsight's 20/20.
You have no idea what
it's like to not be able
to do something that everyone
expects you to be able to do.
Oh, I think I do, Glenn.
And I also think that maybe
it's time to stop not doing
what you pretended
you can do and can't,
and start doing the thing
that you can't do
but can no longer
pretend that you can.
You're right, Jerri.
Y'know, one day, I'm gonna
get back behind that
Wheel.
Wheel, and I'm gonna drive.
Yes, you will, Glenn!
Just make sure I'm nowhere
near when the time comes.
[INTRO TO
"ON BROADWAY" PLAYING]
[NO SOUND]
[PANTING]
Good warm-up, ladies.
Let's get lined up.
It's time to see
who wants it bad enough.
First up, Shannon Tudyk.
Give me a "W"!
"W"!
Give me an "I".
"I"!
Give me an "N".
"N"!
What's it spell?
Win!
Woo!
"Win."
I knew that.
Thank you, Shannon.
Wow, that one I hate for
the things she can do.
She's perfect!
I agree, she's in.
Next up, Jerri Blank.
Give me a V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
What's it spell?
Win!
Jerri, uh what does
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y spell?
Fandango?
Hobo camp?
Hob-hobo camp!
Jerri Blank is illiterate!
Calm down, people.
We will postpone these tryouts
until after we have all
recovered from Jerri's shame.
[LAUGHING]
Shame.
There's the freak
who can't read!
Hey, Jerri.
Hey, you illiterate!
You're so illiterate, you
probably can't even hear me,
you illiterate!
[LAUGHING]
BOY:
Jerri.
What do you want?
Look, Jerri, I just
It doesn't matter
that you can't read.
Don't listen to all that crap.
It doesn't change who you are.
Really?
Yeah.
You wanna go see
a movie tonight?
I'd love to, Daniel.
Thanks.
Great.
I'll pick you up at
Oh, wait a minute.
It's a foreign film,
I guess it does
matter that you can't read,
you dumb no-reading loser.
[LAUGHING]
Principal Blackman!
Jerri Blank, come with me.
Jerri, I'm an obtuse man,
so I'll try to be oblique.
Your illiteracy has made
me the whipping boy
of this school district.
I attended the school board
meeting this morning
and they all had
their little laugh.
It was a feeding frenzy
of cackling hyenas,
and I was
the wildebeest carcass.
So you will learn to
read, Jerri Blank.
And Mr. Noblet here
is going to teach you.
I'm not working with him.
He hates me.
Nonsense, Jerri.
Every student
"macaroniously" believes
that their teacher hates them.
Actually, on this one,
she's right on the money.
What's the difference?
You two will be
working together.
Get used to it.
I'll tell you what, Blank
You let Mr. Noblet
here teach you to read,
and I'll push back the tryouts
so that you can
have a chance to squeeze
that misshapen hulk of yours
into a cheerleading outfit.
Mr. Noblet, do you think
I could learn how to read?
Well, anything's
possible, Jerri.
It all depends upon me
and how much time I'm
willing to put in.
Get to work.
Full speed ahead on
the Ignoramus Express.
Okay, Jerri.
I think the first
thing we should do
is figure out what grade level
you're reading at, okay?
Do we start with Dick and Jane,
or maybe do we start
with the Mahabharata?
Why don't you show me
what you know?
This is crazy, I can read.
So read.
Book.
Uh, desk.
Desks!
More than one singular.
Chair.
Shiv.
Okay.
Looks like we'll be
starting in the womb.
Why don't we just try
the alphabet?
Okay, I'm gonna hold up a card
that has a letter on it,
and you try to tell me
what letter that is.
"B"!
I haven't held up
the card yet, Jerri.
Okay, ready?
Tepee.
Doggy bone.
Pitchfork on its side with
the handle broken off.
Faggot.
[LAUGHING]
Just a reading joke.
Let's try this one last time.
Juh.
Juh.
Eh.
Eh.
Ruh.
Ruh.
Eeh.
Eeh.
[GIGGLING]
Great.
Now put her all together.
Uh jih gypsies!
Filthy, dirty, thieving gypsies!
Stupid!
What?
I'd spell it out for you,
but you don't know how to read.
So I'll just say this as
delicately as I know how.
You are a big, fat, stupid,
zero fattie!
Fattie?
That's it, I've had it!
Cheerleading isn't
worth all this!
Jerri!
Este estudiante es
muy grande y muy gordo.
Repetí.
ALL: Este estudiante es
muy grande y muy gordo.
Muy tarde.
Uh, no, excuse me.
I'm looking for Driver's Ed.
Oh, this is Driver's Ed.
Because of a school budget
cutback, this semester
we are combining
Driver's Ed and Spanish.
So, sientate.
Hi, I'm in continuing
adult education.
Now open your Driver's Ed libro.
Donde está the stop sign?
Uh, I don't understand this.
This is in Spanish.
Exactamente.
Como se llamo usted?
Me llamo senora Maria de los
Angeles Pons Montez Garcia y Perez.
Como se llamo usted?
Glenn?
Hola, Glenn.
Donde está the stop sign?
Uh
Oh, eso no es.
Eso es the yield sign.
Aquí the stop sign.
Yield sign, stop sign,
yield sign, stop sign.
Ah, mucho estúpido.
Repetí:
Mucho estúpido.
Mucho estúpido.
I'll never learn how to drive.
Never!
En Español nunca, nunca!
He's the big fat zero, not me.
Glenn?
Hola, Jerri.
Hey, I'm blowing this joint.
You with me?
You're right, who wants
to be a bus driver?
Who wants to be a cheerleader?
You wanna be a cheerleader?
Aren't you kinda chunky?
Come on, let's go get hammered.
SUZY:
I'm so excited!
I can't wait for the big game!
Bill always gets us
to the game so safely.
I know, Bill is the best
bus driver ever.
I know, he's our hero.
Bill is our hero!
[CHANTING]
Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill
Tepee
Stupid.
Ready for my lesson, chief.
I don't think so, Jerri.
I can do no more.
What do you mean?
I mean I quit.
[DING]
But I wanna be a cheerleader.
Why don't you
try to be something
a little more realistic,
like a paperweight?
Paperweight?
No, I still wanna be
a cheerleader.
Look, I have done my best
to shove knowledge into
that skull of yours,
but nothing takes.
God, I wish I knew what was
going on inside your head!
[DUCK QUACKING]
I guess I'll never know.
I came by to see the progress.
How's it going, Blank?
Okay.
Hm!
I'm impressed.
What else can you spell?
How about this?
Okay.
All right.
Okay.
Okay, well, spell it.
"O" "K".
What a shame.
I moved back
the cheerleading tryouts
to give you time to
conquer your idiocy.
But clearly idiocy has won!
Here you go, Jerri.
You can have these as
a souvenir of your failure.
Perhaps you could have
a four-year-old
decipher them for you.
It's just more shame.
C caaa uhhh
Cauuuh Uhh
Caaaaaa
Caaaaaa
Caaa
Caaaaa
What was that?
Caaaaaaa
My God, Jerri.
Say the last letter.
The last letter is a "T"!
What sound does "T" make, Jerri?
Ppp.
No, no, say it, say it.
"T".
Good, now put it together.
Caaaaaaatuh!
Yes, yes, yes!
Caaaaaat!
Cat!
Book, book.
B-O-O-K!
Book!
Cup!
C-U-P!
Desk!
D-E-S-K!
Pencil!
P-E-N-S-U-L!
Close enough.
She knows!
She knows!
Wait a minute!
I wanna be a cheerleader!
God, drama.
I love it!
Jerri, everyone knows
you can't be a cheerleader
if you can't spell.
V-I-C-T-O-R-Y!
Victory, victory,
that's our cry!
I'm wonderful!
Jerri, welcome to the squad.
[CHEERING]
Give me a V-A-G!
Hey, you know,
I'm not seeing anybody.
[LAUGHING]
Hey, Glenn, look.
Hey, Glenn, I thought
you went back to class.
I tried, but I couldn't
conjugate the verbs.
Manejar, manejo, maneje.
I'll never learn how to drive.
But, Glenn, you can't give up.
I didn't give up.
Well, actually, I did,
but later I didn't.
And the same
thing can happen to you.
Well, I bet if you got behind
that wheel and just relaxed,
you'd know what to do.
Right, everybody?
[ALL GROANING]
See, we're all
behind you, Glenn.
Thanks, Jerri, but I already
tried that once before.
But you never tried it
Twice before.
Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
ALL [CHANTING]: Glenn, Glenn,
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
Come on!
Let's hit it!
Woo!
You can do it!
Yes!
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn
Glenn, Glenn, Glenn!
Go!
I'm doing it, Jerri!
I'm doing it!
He's doing it, he can drive!
And I can read.
Look, I'll read the map.
Oh, no, no, no,
that's okay, Jerri.
I know where I'm going.
We don't wanna get lost.
It's a very important game.
No, Jerry, I know
where I'm going
No, Glenn, I got it, I got it
We're going too fast!
[SCREAMING]
[CRASH]
[PASSENGERS MOANING]
Well, I've learned
a lot this week.
I've learned you
can do anything you want,
as long as you put
your mind to it.
But I've also
learned that reading is bad.
If I hadn't learned how to read,
none of these people shh!
None of these people in the bus
would have been hurt.
So don't read or write.
It's deadly.
Good night.
Ah-ow!
["ON BROADWAY" PLAYING]
[WHISTLE BLOWING]