Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2003) s02e05 Episode Script
Turtles in Space Part 5 Triceraton Wars
1 DONATELLO: I`II try to keep this brief.
Here goes.
Splinter was missing.
We searched for him.
We found him inside the TCRI building.
TCRI, by the way, are the same letters on the canlster of ooze that turned us into mutants.
Anyway, before we could rescue Splinter, we got zapped to the other side of the galaxy to the planet D`Hoonnlb.
Awesome technology.
Bad timing.
Fire! We met up with this robot, only he wasn`t really a robot.
He was a scientist whose brain accidentally fused with a robot`s body.
Professor Honeycutt, now the Fugitold, has developed the technology for a teleportal device, which sounds Iike it would be our ticket home.
Except he refuses to build it because these two warring alien races, the Federation and the Triceraton Republic, each want to use the device as their ultimate weapon to rule the universe.
So we`re all on the run, lots of stuff blows up, Iots of really incredible technology is used to either restrain us, hurt us, or transport us across the galaxy, and the Triceratons capture us and throw us in this gladiator arena to try to convince Honeycutt to build his teleportal device.
We manage to break free and grab the Triceraton prime leader as a hostage! So now all we need is a brilliant plan of escape.
Suggestions? Anyone? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtles, count it off! One, two, three, four - Turtles - Mutant chain reaction - Turtles - Living underground - Turtles - Ninjitsu action - Turtles - It`s a shell of a town Turtles, count it off! Live by the code of the martial arts Never fight unless someone else starts Always stick together, no matter what If all else falls, then it`s time to kick butt I love being a I love being a I love being a turtle Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtles, count it off! One, two, three, four - Turtles - There`s no one better - Turtles - Watch out for Shredder! - Turtles - They`re Iike no others - Turtles - Those teenage brothers One, two, three, four One, two, three, four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RAZ: For those of you just joining us, you`re witnessing the greatest upset in Tri-Sports history! That`s right, Raz.
Four off-worlders have just taken our beloved prime leader, Zanramon, hostage.
Drop the hardware, or your prime leader`s lizard cutlets.
Do as he says.
RAZ: lt`s not every day four off-worlders can bring the glorious Triceraton empire straight to its knees.
You really got to admire their spunk.
So, what do you think, Zed? Will they call for a time-out and make demands or go straight for the win with a hostile overthrow of the regime? So what do we do now, fearless leader? I don`t know.
I`m trying to think through all that racket overhead.
Well, you know, Raz, this is clutch time.
The deciding moment of the [ Crowd gasps .]
That help? Actually, yes.
Okay, let`s try this.
Professor Honeycutt, take us to your lab.
Prime Leader, you`re coming with us.
Everyone else, stay put and don`t move a muscle.
Call off your goons.
Now! Hold your fire and pull back.
Which way to the lab? Well, there are actually several routes.
The Triceraton home world, with its interconnected network of asteroid cities, is a bit of a maze, really.
Show us the fastest way, Spike.
Now! As you wish.
- Aah! - Aah! - Aah! - Aah! [ Thud .]
You wanted fast, didn`t you? I got your fast right here! Mikey, give me a hand welding the doors and hatches shut.
Don, help Professor Honeycutt gather up everything he needs to construct his teleportal.
- You got it! - Uh-huh! Raph, you got guard duty.
Yeah, whatever.
Excuse me, Leonardo.
You don`t actually intend for me to build the teleportal, do you? It may be the only way to solve the problem.
But if l`m captured, the knowledge will surely fall into the wrong hands.
Use it to transport yourself and the device somewhere the Federation and Triceratons can`t follow.
Like Earth, for instance.
If you don`t build the teleportal, we`ll never get home to rescue Master Splinter.
Yes, by all means, help your friends.
Build the teleportal.
You keep outta this.
The danger will always exist whether or not you build the teleportal.
What`s to stop them from ripping apart your robot body and downloading all the data from your brain? Slag! Why didn`t l think of that? Good one, Don.
Sorry.
Yes, l see.
I`m afraid the only sensible solution is to blast me into scrap metal right now.
Wait! Professor, l was just saying l didn`t mean Please.
You`re our only hope.
[ Sighs .]
All right.
But you must promise me one thing.
If all goes wrong, if it looks like we are to be captured, then you must destroy me so that my knowledge will never be used for evil and destruction.
It won`t come to that.
But if it does come to that, will you swear on your honor to destroy me? TURTLES: We swear.
Where`s the fastest ship out of here? Hmm.
Now, let me think.
You four turtles and Professor Honeycutt will have to make your escape in my personal cruiser.
It`s in my private space-dock hangar.
[ Snorts .]
You heard the prime leader.
Get the strike team in position now! [ Snorts .]
We`ll be waiting for them.
My ship is in the next bay.
Guys, get down! It`s a trap! Hyah! Mikey, fire overhead! - Look out! - Get away! No! Order your troops to stand down.
Now! Stand down.
I order you Aah! Ugh! You fools! You hit the prime leader! What about our hostage? No time.
Leave him.
Prime Leader, are you all right? Please, forgive us.
Slag brains! Stop them! Don`t let them take my cruiser! Mr.
Sulu, ahead.
Warp factor.
Knock it off, Mikey.
Isn`t it fortuitous that my robot body comes equipped with a piloting program? TURTLES: Whoa! Yes, well, perhaps a few upgrades would be in order.
Looks like someone doesn`t want us to leave.
Ah, yes.
Let`s see.
Evasive-maneuvers subdirectory.
Accessing files now.
Hang on, my friends.
Yahoo! Strike one! Strike two! Huh? No! Ugh! Strike three! You`re outta there! Well, gentlemen, it should be fairly smooth sailing from this point.
Unless, of course, we happen to run into the entire Triceraton space fleet.
Attention, Professor Honeycutt.
This is Commander Mozar.
Return at once to the Triceraton home world or face the wrath of the Republic`s fiercest warriors.
Can`t say l`m happy with our choices.
What? They`re blasting straight for us.
They must be insane.
After them! Master Splinter always says, ``There is no greater weapon than the unexpected.
`` Hmm.
I really must meet this Master Splinter someday.
[ Thud .]
We ain`t out of the woods yet.
Better get the shields up and running.
Oh, yeah! Don`t get cocky, kid.
Feeling confident in your piloting skills? Oh, yes.
Rather.
Good.
Let`s try to lose them in that asteroid field.
Well, gentlemen, l`d say the difficult part is over.
Oh, my.
And the really difficult part is just beginning.
Hello, Professor Honeycutt.
I believe you have something that belongs to me.
Or should l say you are something that belongs to me? Did you really think the Federation would give up its most valuable scientific mind without a fight? They want a fight? Let`s show them where they can find one.
I want that Fugitoid alive.
Do you hear me? Alive! Yes, General.
- Ugh! - Ugh! - Ugh! - Ugh! I think it`s time our friends get reacquainted.
Mozar, what are your troops doing in this neutral sector? I could ask you the same question, General.
We can`t avoid them forever.
We don`t need forever.
Just enough time for you and Professor Honeycutt to build that teleportal.
Hmm.
That planetoid should provide an ideal spot to construct the teleportal device.
You wouldn`t be hunting down a certain Fugitoid who recently escaped from your home world, would you? [ Growls .]
How did you know Honeycutt escaped? You think we don`t get "Triceraton Gladiators" on D`Hoonnib? It`s our number-one-rated show.
Wait! How did you know the Fugitoid is Honeycutt? Why don`t you ask your trusted aide? Lanay? Lanay! Seize her! [ Guns cocking .]
You fellows will need atmosphere suits to work outside the ship.
Fortunately, the prime leader`s cruiser is stocked with special form-fitting suits that can configure to a multitude of alien anatomies.
Unfortunately, there`s only three of them.
[ Laughter .]
Commander Mozar, l order you to cease this unprovoked act of Triceraton aggression at once! I don`t take orders from Federation slime, General Blanque.
Commander, we have traced the warp-vector pattern of the Fugitoid`s cruiser to the Egarom sector.
Troops are on their way to apprehend him.
Thank you, Commander Mozar, for your assistance in this matter.
The Federation will handle it from here.
[ Snorts .]
Not if the Triceratons get there first.
LEONARDO: Guys, l`m picking up massive energy signals.
Looks like the Federation and Triceraton fighters are headed our way! - We need more time.
- You`ll have to stall them.
- How? - Just keep them talking.
Anything to stall them from attacking.
Hope this thing has three-way calling.
[ Beeps .]
General Blanque, Commander Mozar.
I am Leonardo of the planet Earth.
I demand an immediate cease-fire.
And why should we agree to your demand, Earthling? Because if you blow us up, you`ll blow up Professor Honeycutt with us.
Then nobody gets the teleportal.
However, we`ll give up the Fugitoid for a price.
We will? I`m trying to all-stay for ime-tay.
But first we`ll need to broker a truce between the Federation and the Triceratons.
We want assurances that neither side will use the teleportal technology for destructive purposes.
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
Huh? Wait! Don`t you guys want to, like, argue about it some more? No.
The Triceraton Republic is eager to settle this matter peacefully.
Once we have the teleportal, we hit the Federation with everything we`ve got.
The Federation is equally eager to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Once we have the teleportal, we hit the Triceratons with everything we`ve got.
- Now bring us the Fugitoid! - Now bring us the Fugitoid! Uh, okay.
But first we`ll need to finalize your agreement.
In writing, of course.
That is, once we can determine a neutral meeting place mutually acceptable to both sides.
Naturally, the Federation will require assurances of nonaggression from the Triceratons.
Prepare to attack.
We Triceratons have always honored our treaties.
Prepare to attack.
It is the Federation who must provide assurances of nonaggression.
Are you accusing us of treachery, lizard? You Federation slime didn`t force 1 50 planets under your rule by acting honorably.
Well, maybe if you Triceraton buffoons hadn`t managed to blow up your own home world, you wouldn`t be living on a bunch of floating rock fragments.
Hairless ape! Overgrown lizard! This is better than a daytime talk show.
How are we doing out there, Professor? Did we buy you enough time? i`m gonna say No.
[ Groaning .]
Come on! Let`s move! Fed fighters at 12:00.
This is an outrage! [ Snorts .]
lt just goes to prove the Federation can`t be trusted.
Tri fighters at 12:00.
It seems the Triceratons aren`t to be trusted either.
Hey, at least we got them to agree on something.
ALL: Victory! Get that Fugitoid! Move! Move! Please tell me you`re ready, Don.
We`re ready.
But it hasn`t been tested yet.
No time like the present! Fugitoid sighted.
Move in! L repeat, move in! Hurry up! Everyone get inside.
[ Whirring .]
[ Electricity crackles, whirring slows .]
l`m guessing it`s not supposed to do that.
Gee, you think? LEONARDO: Everyone back to the ship.
Back inside! [ Glass cracking .]
The capsule won`t hold much longer.
Oh, dear.
I`m afraid we have no choice now.
You fellows must destroy me and the knowledge l possess.
This is an E.
M.
P.
fail-safe control.
It will overload all my circuitry and wipe out my entire memory core.
If you don`t destroy me now, a weapon of ultimate destruction will fall into the hands of lunatics who will not hesitate to use it.
I can`t.
You swore on your honor.
Ugh! Ugh! But how can this be? My teleportal didn`t work.
MlCHELANGELO: Well, somebody`s did.
Ugh! This feels kind of familiar.
Yeah, and l didn`t like it the first time!
Here goes.
Splinter was missing.
We searched for him.
We found him inside the TCRI building.
TCRI, by the way, are the same letters on the canlster of ooze that turned us into mutants.
Anyway, before we could rescue Splinter, we got zapped to the other side of the galaxy to the planet D`Hoonnlb.
Awesome technology.
Bad timing.
Fire! We met up with this robot, only he wasn`t really a robot.
He was a scientist whose brain accidentally fused with a robot`s body.
Professor Honeycutt, now the Fugitold, has developed the technology for a teleportal device, which sounds Iike it would be our ticket home.
Except he refuses to build it because these two warring alien races, the Federation and the Triceraton Republic, each want to use the device as their ultimate weapon to rule the universe.
So we`re all on the run, lots of stuff blows up, Iots of really incredible technology is used to either restrain us, hurt us, or transport us across the galaxy, and the Triceratons capture us and throw us in this gladiator arena to try to convince Honeycutt to build his teleportal device.
We manage to break free and grab the Triceraton prime leader as a hostage! So now all we need is a brilliant plan of escape.
Suggestions? Anyone? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtles, count it off! One, two, three, four - Turtles - Mutant chain reaction - Turtles - Living underground - Turtles - Ninjitsu action - Turtles - It`s a shell of a town Turtles, count it off! Live by the code of the martial arts Never fight unless someone else starts Always stick together, no matter what If all else falls, then it`s time to kick butt I love being a I love being a I love being a turtle Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Turtles, count it off! One, two, three, four - Turtles - There`s no one better - Turtles - Watch out for Shredder! - Turtles - They`re Iike no others - Turtles - Those teenage brothers One, two, three, four One, two, three, four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles RAZ: For those of you just joining us, you`re witnessing the greatest upset in Tri-Sports history! That`s right, Raz.
Four off-worlders have just taken our beloved prime leader, Zanramon, hostage.
Drop the hardware, or your prime leader`s lizard cutlets.
Do as he says.
RAZ: lt`s not every day four off-worlders can bring the glorious Triceraton empire straight to its knees.
You really got to admire their spunk.
So, what do you think, Zed? Will they call for a time-out and make demands or go straight for the win with a hostile overthrow of the regime? So what do we do now, fearless leader? I don`t know.
I`m trying to think through all that racket overhead.
Well, you know, Raz, this is clutch time.
The deciding moment of the [ Crowd gasps .]
That help? Actually, yes.
Okay, let`s try this.
Professor Honeycutt, take us to your lab.
Prime Leader, you`re coming with us.
Everyone else, stay put and don`t move a muscle.
Call off your goons.
Now! Hold your fire and pull back.
Which way to the lab? Well, there are actually several routes.
The Triceraton home world, with its interconnected network of asteroid cities, is a bit of a maze, really.
Show us the fastest way, Spike.
Now! As you wish.
- Aah! - Aah! - Aah! - Aah! [ Thud .]
You wanted fast, didn`t you? I got your fast right here! Mikey, give me a hand welding the doors and hatches shut.
Don, help Professor Honeycutt gather up everything he needs to construct his teleportal.
- You got it! - Uh-huh! Raph, you got guard duty.
Yeah, whatever.
Excuse me, Leonardo.
You don`t actually intend for me to build the teleportal, do you? It may be the only way to solve the problem.
But if l`m captured, the knowledge will surely fall into the wrong hands.
Use it to transport yourself and the device somewhere the Federation and Triceratons can`t follow.
Like Earth, for instance.
If you don`t build the teleportal, we`ll never get home to rescue Master Splinter.
Yes, by all means, help your friends.
Build the teleportal.
You keep outta this.
The danger will always exist whether or not you build the teleportal.
What`s to stop them from ripping apart your robot body and downloading all the data from your brain? Slag! Why didn`t l think of that? Good one, Don.
Sorry.
Yes, l see.
I`m afraid the only sensible solution is to blast me into scrap metal right now.
Wait! Professor, l was just saying l didn`t mean Please.
You`re our only hope.
[ Sighs .]
All right.
But you must promise me one thing.
If all goes wrong, if it looks like we are to be captured, then you must destroy me so that my knowledge will never be used for evil and destruction.
It won`t come to that.
But if it does come to that, will you swear on your honor to destroy me? TURTLES: We swear.
Where`s the fastest ship out of here? Hmm.
Now, let me think.
You four turtles and Professor Honeycutt will have to make your escape in my personal cruiser.
It`s in my private space-dock hangar.
[ Snorts .]
You heard the prime leader.
Get the strike team in position now! [ Snorts .]
We`ll be waiting for them.
My ship is in the next bay.
Guys, get down! It`s a trap! Hyah! Mikey, fire overhead! - Look out! - Get away! No! Order your troops to stand down.
Now! Stand down.
I order you Aah! Ugh! You fools! You hit the prime leader! What about our hostage? No time.
Leave him.
Prime Leader, are you all right? Please, forgive us.
Slag brains! Stop them! Don`t let them take my cruiser! Mr.
Sulu, ahead.
Warp factor.
Knock it off, Mikey.
Isn`t it fortuitous that my robot body comes equipped with a piloting program? TURTLES: Whoa! Yes, well, perhaps a few upgrades would be in order.
Looks like someone doesn`t want us to leave.
Ah, yes.
Let`s see.
Evasive-maneuvers subdirectory.
Accessing files now.
Hang on, my friends.
Yahoo! Strike one! Strike two! Huh? No! Ugh! Strike three! You`re outta there! Well, gentlemen, it should be fairly smooth sailing from this point.
Unless, of course, we happen to run into the entire Triceraton space fleet.
Attention, Professor Honeycutt.
This is Commander Mozar.
Return at once to the Triceraton home world or face the wrath of the Republic`s fiercest warriors.
Can`t say l`m happy with our choices.
What? They`re blasting straight for us.
They must be insane.
After them! Master Splinter always says, ``There is no greater weapon than the unexpected.
`` Hmm.
I really must meet this Master Splinter someday.
[ Thud .]
We ain`t out of the woods yet.
Better get the shields up and running.
Oh, yeah! Don`t get cocky, kid.
Feeling confident in your piloting skills? Oh, yes.
Rather.
Good.
Let`s try to lose them in that asteroid field.
Well, gentlemen, l`d say the difficult part is over.
Oh, my.
And the really difficult part is just beginning.
Hello, Professor Honeycutt.
I believe you have something that belongs to me.
Or should l say you are something that belongs to me? Did you really think the Federation would give up its most valuable scientific mind without a fight? They want a fight? Let`s show them where they can find one.
I want that Fugitoid alive.
Do you hear me? Alive! Yes, General.
- Ugh! - Ugh! - Ugh! - Ugh! I think it`s time our friends get reacquainted.
Mozar, what are your troops doing in this neutral sector? I could ask you the same question, General.
We can`t avoid them forever.
We don`t need forever.
Just enough time for you and Professor Honeycutt to build that teleportal.
Hmm.
That planetoid should provide an ideal spot to construct the teleportal device.
You wouldn`t be hunting down a certain Fugitoid who recently escaped from your home world, would you? [ Growls .]
How did you know Honeycutt escaped? You think we don`t get "Triceraton Gladiators" on D`Hoonnib? It`s our number-one-rated show.
Wait! How did you know the Fugitoid is Honeycutt? Why don`t you ask your trusted aide? Lanay? Lanay! Seize her! [ Guns cocking .]
You fellows will need atmosphere suits to work outside the ship.
Fortunately, the prime leader`s cruiser is stocked with special form-fitting suits that can configure to a multitude of alien anatomies.
Unfortunately, there`s only three of them.
[ Laughter .]
Commander Mozar, l order you to cease this unprovoked act of Triceraton aggression at once! I don`t take orders from Federation slime, General Blanque.
Commander, we have traced the warp-vector pattern of the Fugitoid`s cruiser to the Egarom sector.
Troops are on their way to apprehend him.
Thank you, Commander Mozar, for your assistance in this matter.
The Federation will handle it from here.
[ Snorts .]
Not if the Triceratons get there first.
LEONARDO: Guys, l`m picking up massive energy signals.
Looks like the Federation and Triceraton fighters are headed our way! - We need more time.
- You`ll have to stall them.
- How? - Just keep them talking.
Anything to stall them from attacking.
Hope this thing has three-way calling.
[ Beeps .]
General Blanque, Commander Mozar.
I am Leonardo of the planet Earth.
I demand an immediate cease-fire.
And why should we agree to your demand, Earthling? Because if you blow us up, you`ll blow up Professor Honeycutt with us.
Then nobody gets the teleportal.
However, we`ll give up the Fugitoid for a price.
We will? I`m trying to all-stay for ime-tay.
But first we`ll need to broker a truce between the Federation and the Triceratons.
We want assurances that neither side will use the teleportal technology for destructive purposes.
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
Huh? Wait! Don`t you guys want to, like, argue about it some more? No.
The Triceraton Republic is eager to settle this matter peacefully.
Once we have the teleportal, we hit the Federation with everything we`ve got.
The Federation is equally eager to avoid unnecessary conflict.
Once we have the teleportal, we hit the Triceratons with everything we`ve got.
- Now bring us the Fugitoid! - Now bring us the Fugitoid! Uh, okay.
But first we`ll need to finalize your agreement.
In writing, of course.
That is, once we can determine a neutral meeting place mutually acceptable to both sides.
Naturally, the Federation will require assurances of nonaggression from the Triceratons.
Prepare to attack.
We Triceratons have always honored our treaties.
Prepare to attack.
It is the Federation who must provide assurances of nonaggression.
Are you accusing us of treachery, lizard? You Federation slime didn`t force 1 50 planets under your rule by acting honorably.
Well, maybe if you Triceraton buffoons hadn`t managed to blow up your own home world, you wouldn`t be living on a bunch of floating rock fragments.
Hairless ape! Overgrown lizard! This is better than a daytime talk show.
How are we doing out there, Professor? Did we buy you enough time? i`m gonna say No.
[ Groaning .]
Come on! Let`s move! Fed fighters at 12:00.
This is an outrage! [ Snorts .]
lt just goes to prove the Federation can`t be trusted.
Tri fighters at 12:00.
It seems the Triceratons aren`t to be trusted either.
Hey, at least we got them to agree on something.
ALL: Victory! Get that Fugitoid! Move! Move! Please tell me you`re ready, Don.
We`re ready.
But it hasn`t been tested yet.
No time like the present! Fugitoid sighted.
Move in! L repeat, move in! Hurry up! Everyone get inside.
[ Whirring .]
[ Electricity crackles, whirring slows .]
l`m guessing it`s not supposed to do that.
Gee, you think? LEONARDO: Everyone back to the ship.
Back inside! [ Glass cracking .]
The capsule won`t hold much longer.
Oh, dear.
I`m afraid we have no choice now.
You fellows must destroy me and the knowledge l possess.
This is an E.
M.
P.
fail-safe control.
It will overload all my circuitry and wipe out my entire memory core.
If you don`t destroy me now, a weapon of ultimate destruction will fall into the hands of lunatics who will not hesitate to use it.
I can`t.
You swore on your honor.
Ugh! Ugh! But how can this be? My teleportal didn`t work.
MlCHELANGELO: Well, somebody`s did.
Ugh! This feels kind of familiar.
Yeah, and l didn`t like it the first time!