Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012) s02e05 Episode Script

Mikey Gets Shellacne

2x05 - Mikey Gets Shellacne Toast is done.
Might be a little overdone, Donnie.
Orange juice, coming right up.
Ow! It stings, it stings! Donnie, I told you scrambled! Oh, man.
This place is a disaster.
Yeah, Mikey usually makes breakfast.
What's the deal? Mikey! Mike, get up! Oh, I feel awful.
Maybe I shouldn't have ate that jalapeno cappuccino pizza last night.
Huh? What the I'm a mutant! Uh, he's just realizing that now? Guys, look at me! I'm covered in turtle zits! Aw, gross.
Talk about shellacne.
You look like a green chimichanga.
Eh, don't worry, Mikey.
It's just part of being a teenager.
- Have you ever had 'em? - Heck no.
Hold up, guys.
I think this might be serious.
Okay, Mikey.
The good news is, these so-called "zits" aren't gonna hurt you.
And more importantly, they won't interfere with you making us breakfast.
That's a relief.
But the bad news is they'll continue to spread all over your body.
Spreading and spreading and spreading and spreading.
And then they disappear in a couple of hours, right? No.
And then your entire body will mutate into one, single, huge, giant, gargantuan zit.
Zit! Nooo! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! Here we go, it's the lean green ninja team on the scene, cool teens doing ninja things so extreme, out the sewer like laser beams get rocked with the shell shock pizza kings can't stop these radical dudes the secret of the ooze made the chosen few emerge from the shadows to make their move the good guys win and the bad guys lose.
Leonardo's the leader in blue does anything it takes to get his ninjas through Donatello is the fellow has a way with machines Raphael's got the most attitude on the team Michelangelo, he's one of a kind and you know just where to find him when it's party time.
Master Splinter taught them every single skill they need to be one lean mean green incredible team! Teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles teenage mutant ninja turtles heroes in a half shell, turtle power! Mikey, come on.
It's not as bad as you think.
And Raph promises not to make fun of you anymore.
That's right, I'm sorry I called you crust muffin and fungus face and godzitla, king of the pus monsters.
Now come on out here.
Now way! Not while I'm covered in gross, slime-filled zits! Technically, they're pustules filled with oil and sebum, which is even grosser than slime.
Uh, not helping, Donnie, but thanks.
Mikey.
Forget it, guys.
I'm too hideous to be a ninja.
I'll stay locked away in here forever! And even longer if I have to.
Bradford, Xever.
Enter.
Impressive.
You went from stealthy ninja to idiot man-dog.
How I detest this clumsy body.
What I wouldn't give to be human again.
Seriously, I don't have all day.
Don't get too comfortable, Karai.
Shredder is the only one worthy of that throne.
Dad put me in charge while he's in Japan, remember? So either learn some respect or I chop off your robo legs and drop you in the sewer.
Got it? Now listen.
I need someone to help maintain my foot bot soldiers on a daily basis.
Someone whose loyalty can be bought.
Someone who can easily be intimidated.
Someone like Baxter Stockman.
Stinkman? But that little creep tried to destroy us.
- Who knows what he - Stockman's perfect.
You think you two freaks can handle it? Leave it to us, boss.
Cool.
Mikey brought his own pizza.
His face.
Okay, okay, I'll stop.
Now come on and zit down.
"Zit" down! I crack myself up.
Raphael.
You should know better than to make fun of one's appearance.
After all, how would the humans above react to yours? You're right, Master Splinter.
Sorry, Mikey.
Just kick me out, Master Splinter.
I can't be a ninja when I look like a moldy pickle.
And why not? I do not let my appearance affect me.
Well, yeah, 'cause old people never care how they look or smell.
My son, I sense there is something you would like to tell us.
What? No.
Not at all.
Really, I didn't do anything.
Okay, okay! You got me.
I kinda, um I sprinkled a little mutagen on my skin.
What? - Are you kidding? - Why? To become better.
Cooler, you know? You guys treat me like a I'm big goofball all the time.
So I found this vial in Donnie's lab.
The label says it'll make you super cool.
No, it says you're supposed to keep it super cooled.
As in temperature! This was a reject batch of retro mutagen, Mikey.
It's dangerous! Well, you could have made it a little more clear! Still not that clear.
Oh, no.
Please tell me that's a good "oh, no.
" It's a terrible "oh, no.
" According to these blood tests, the mutagen in your system is unstable.
You only have three hours until Until what? What'll happen to him? In scientific terms, go boom.
- I'm gonna explode? - Like a massive zit.
- Ew.
- Ew.
No! No.
But now that I know what caused this, I think I can engineer an antidote from the remaining sample.
Yes, yes, yes! I love you, man.
- Okay, come on.
- Then you must start right away.
I'm just missing one key instrument though.
A molecular centrifuge to mix the solution.
No problem.
Money is no object! Leo, can I borrow some cash? The only place I've ever seen a molecular centrifuge was at TCRI.
But we blew that place up when we took down the Kraang.
What could be left? You were once a feared warrior.
Now you're a common dog, hunting squirrels like Stockman.
Stockman.
Hmm.
Maybe he could actually help me.
Gotcha.
Everybody spread out and start looking.
- Is this a centrifudge? - Centrifuge.
No, that's a beaker.
Is this a centrifudge? That's a microscope.
- Is this a centrifudge? - That's the same beaker.
Oh, we're never gonna find it.
- This place is - Shh shh shh.
Listen.
You hear that? Yes, yes! Perfect.
Bio-enhancers.
DNA catalysts.
Soon, I'll be able to create my own mutant army.
Powerful, unstoppable! Dorkster Blockhead? It's Baxter Stockman! Wha? T-turtles? Here? Now? - He's got the centrifuge.
- Hand it over, Storkman.
Stockman! And no.
I found it first.
Mousers! Attack! Don't let 'em pop me! Dogpound? Well, if it isn't weasely little Stinkman.
Back off, Dogpound.
We found him first.
Stinkman and the turtles? And I thought I was having a bad day.
Time for Baxter Stockman, super villain, to make his narrow escape.
He's got the centerfudge! - No! - You're coming with me.
No, no, please.
I'm extremely fragile.
Help! My centerfudge! Look out! Oh, no.
Guys, are you okay? - Yeah.
Thanks, Mikey.
- They're gone.
- And they have the centerfudge.
- Centrifuge.
I can't believe that fleabag beat us.
I want a rematch.
Easy, Raph.
Focus on what's important.
We need to get that centrifuge to cure Mikey.
His zits are getting more unstable.
If any of them get popped, they could cause a chain reaction, ala my zit-popping diagram here.
Huh? What? So I pop either way? We just have to keep you safe.
It's too dangerous to leave the lair.
But I never got to visit a wax museum, or learn pig latin, or open a mummy's tomb where the mummy comes alive, but he's so cool we form a hip-hop group and travel around the world together in a golden UFO.
- I wanna do that! - Right.
Listen, Mikey, we're gonna get that centrifuge.
We'll do whatever it takes to fix you.
Wow, Raph.
Thanks.
Okay, Dogpound and Boxcar.
Where could they be? The old city dump? Nah, they turned it into a retirement home.
- The abandoned nuclear plant? - Now it's a nursery school.
Ooh, what about Baxter's old lab? Why would Dogpound capture Dexter and take him to his old lab? - It makes no sense.
- See? You guys never take me seriously.
Maybe they went to Bradford's dojo.
- Possibility.
- Nah.
Hmm.
You think he went back to TCRI? No.
Why would he go back there? Doesn't make any sense.
Fine.
If you guys aren't gonna listen to me, I'm not waiting around to explode.
So a giant tank of mutagen, eh? Planning on making some mutants? Uh, yes, a whole army for us to command.
Just me and you.
Yeah.
Um, now, not that I'm complaining, but why are you keeping me alive? Karai wants it this way.
Believe me, I still owe you big time for trapping us in your little maze of doom.
So, you've beaten me to the punch and found Stockman, yes? Why haven't you taken this traitorous lump of flesh to Karai? I will after he turns me human again.
What? You can turn us human again? Uh, yes.
Yes, of course.
My intellect knows no bounds.
None.
Good.
First order of business.
What? Ah! - Is this mutagen? - I call it insurance.
Double-cross us and boom, we get to see what you turn into.
Some kind of lowly bug, I bet.
I knew it.
I knew Baxter would be here hatching a plan, wearing a dog collar.
Well, maybe not the dog collar part.
No, no, no, no, no.
Please not yet.
Phew.
Centrifudge.
Am I glad to see you.
If you're going to make him human, then I want to be a man as well.
I want to live as a man, love as a man.
Not as a fish.
Do you hear? Fool! Don't touch me! I'm highly contagious.
See? So how about I take that gadget and get out of your fur? I'd rather you stay.
And people think I'm ugly! Watch Stinkman.
I wanna tear this turtle apart myself.
Oh! Calm down, zits.
Calm down.
Easy, D-pound.
Booyakasha! Whoa! Dogpound, don't! Oh, snap.
Dogs hate getting wet.
Uh, some dogs.
Uh, maybe you need a day or two to get to know the new you, Dogpound.
I feel the mutagen coursing through me.
I'm faster, stronger, more powerful than ever.
I feel like a ninja again.
Plus you don't have zits, which is a bonus.
To thank you for this, I'll make your end swift.
Whoa.
Steady.
Rawr yourself, you razor-faced dog.
- Don't ever call me dog.
- You got it, Rahzar.
Get away from my brother.
Oh, hey, guys.
You're lucky we noticed you were gone in time, Mikey.
Even luckier that I knew you'd come here.
What were you think Fishface.
Scatter! Um, so what happened to Dogpound? Ha, he got double-mutated.
Now I call him "Rahzar.
" Whoaoof! Donnie! Raph! The centrifudge! If I were you, I'd get my mousers out here now.
Great.
More mousers.
Guys? I'm bursting at the seams.
And Rahzar's gonna pop me! Not good, not good! I just sorta had an idea.
Here, boy.
Good dog.
Yeah! You just got shell-shocked, son.
Everyone, to high ground, now.
Dude, I'm about to pop and I think we destroyed the centrifudge.
Don't be so sure.
Huh? Rise and shine, Stockman.
Your working for me now.
Well, me and the Shredder.
Let's move.
Antidote's ready, Mikey.
Gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme, gimme! Did you have to put the antidote on those acne pads? No, but it is hilarious.
It worked.
Look at me! Yeah, boy! I'm super cute again.
Whoo! Unh! Thanks, Donnie.
You're the best.
I must commend you on your resolve, Michelangelo.
You thought you needed to improve yourself, but you had everything you already needed inside, in here.
See, guys? Who was right about Baxter's secret hideout, huh? Me.
Yup.
- You had no clue.
- Oh, no.
Mikey, youyou have a zit forming on the end of your nose! Are you kidding me? No! Why? Donnie, I'm gonna
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