The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes (1984) s02e05 Episode Script
The Red Headed League
Oh, sorry Holmes.
No, no, you couldn't have come at a better time.
I was afraid you were engaged.
I am, very much so.
Dr.
Watson shares my love of all that is bizarre, but outside the routine of everyday existence.
It is at present and impossible to say that this case is an instance of crime or no.
But suffice it to say that I know as little about Mr.
Jay Beards Wilson as you do yourself, beyond the obvious facts.
That he has done manual labor at sometime.
But it takes staff that he has been to China.
And that he has done a considerable amount of writing lately.
How in the name of good fortune did you know all that Mr.
Holmes? As true as gospel I once did manual labor.
I started off as a ship's carpenter.
Your hands my good servant.
The muscles of your right hand are more developed than the left.
And the writing? What else could be indicated.
By the right cuffs are very shiny for five inches.
And the left sleeve with smooth pattern over the elbow where you lean it on the desk but China? The fish tattooed immediately above his right wrist.
I have made a small study of tattoo marks, Mr.
Wilson, and have even contributed to the literature of the subject.
That trick of staining the fish scales, a delicate pink is quite peculiar to China.
Wherein addition I see a Chinese coin hanging from his watch chain.
The matter becomes even more simple.
Well I never I thought at first it was something clever, but now I see there's nothing in it after all.
You know I begin to think that my reputation such as it is will suffer shipwreck if I'm so candid pro magnifico.
Everything becomes commonplace by explanation.
Watson that is a very loose translation.
Oh, please show the doctor that advertisement.
Oh, there, you can read it for yourself sir.
To the Red Headed League.
On account of the request of the late Iscar Hopkins of Lebanon, Pennsylvania USA there is a vacancy open which entitles a member of the league to a salary of four pounds a week for purely nominal services.
All red headed men sound in body and mind and above the age of 21 are eligible.
Apply in person on Monday at 11:00 to Mr.
Duncan Ross at the offices of the League, 7 Copes Court Fleet Street.
Is this serious? It is a little off the beaten track, hey Watson.
Oh, would you make a note of the paper and the date? Evening standard of Saturday the 27th of April, two months ago.
Do try this sitting.
Now, Mr.
Wilson, off you go at scratch and tell us all about yourself.
Oh, well gentlemen I have a small pawn broking business in Sax Coburg Street, near the city.
It's not a very large affair.
It just gives me a living.
I used to keep two assistants but now I just keep the one.
And to tell you the truth I'd have a job to make you pay but the deeds willing to come at half wages so as to learn the business.
About two months ago What is the name of the obliging youth? Vincent, Vincent Spalding.
Oh, but he's not such a youth either Mr.
Holmes.
It's difficult to say his age but I couldn't wish for a smarter assistant.
You seem most remarkably fortunate.
In having an employee who comes under the market price, I don't know that your assistant is not as remarkable as your advertisement.
Oh, but he does have his faults.
However, he was such a fellow for photography.
Always snapping away with his camera when he should be improving his mind and then diving down into the cellar to develop the wretched things.
Still on the whole he's a good worker.
No vice in him.
It was he who first showed me the advertisement.
I wish to the lord I was a red headed man Mr.
Wilson.
Why is that? Well there's another vacancy in the League of Red Headed Men.
I've never heard of it.
Well, I'd wonder at that you being so eligible yourself.
Nice money too.
A couple hundred a year and the work's light Oh, there'll be thousands of red headed men apply.
Oh, well I doubt that sir.
Well nobody with such a fine fiery color as you're blessed with Mr.
Wilson.
But then I suppose it's only worth your while to put yourself out of the way for sake of a few hundred pounds.
Yes, sir.
Well I'm very much of a stay at home sort of person.
Sometimes weeks on end before I put my foot over the doormat but this it looked interesting.
I was intrigued and young Vincent said he'd come with me.
So, on Monday morning we shut up the shop and off we went.
Now, Vincent let's go back I can't get by the crowd.
Courage Mr.
Wilson.
We're so near and so much at stake.
Now you put your coat on and come along with me.
Ohy, Ohy, Ohy, a little less noise please gentlemen.
Here, here what's your game? Hey get out of here.
Hey, hey Off you go, you next, get in.
Hey, where are you going? Straight this way, Come on.
This is Mr.
Wilson.
Right in you go Mr.
Wilson.
Admirably suited.
Every requirement.
Very quiet.
Congratulations Mr.
Wilson.
It would be injustice to hesitate.
You will I'm sure excuse me if I take an obvious precaution.
Tears in your eyes.
I perceive all is as it should be.
We have to be careful.
Twice deceived by wigs, once by paint.
I could tell you tales of cobblers wags that would disgust you with human nature.
My name is Duncan Ross.
I am myself a pension upon a fund left by a noble benefactor.
I see you're about to question me about Mr.
Ethic Guya Hopkins.
He was himself red headed.
In his youth he left London for America where he made many millions of dollars.
On his death it was found that he had instructed a trustee in his will to make life a little easier for the red headed men in the town of his birth.
Wonderful color.
Now what's your full name Mr.
Wilson? Jay Beards Wilson.
Jay Beards Wilson and are you a married man, Mr.
Wilson? Do you have a family? No, I'm a widower.
No, I never had any family.
Oh dear, sad to hear you say that.
The fund of course is for the propagation and spread of red headed men as well as with their maintenance.
In another case the objection might be fatal.
However, I've think we've got to stretch a point in favor of a man with such a head of hair as yours.
The vacancy has been filled.
The vacancy is filled.
Now, off you go.
Sorry about that.
Off you go.
Now, when would you be free to start upon your new duties? Oh, well it is rather awkward as I do have a business already.
What would be the hours? 10:00 to 2:00.
Well the mornings are quiet.
I do have an assistant.
Yes, that would suit me very well.
And the money mentioned, four pounds a week.
Correct.
And the work? Purely nominal.
Yes, but what do you call purely nominal? Well, you have to stay in the office or at least in the building the whole time.
If you leave you forfeit your whole position forever.
The will is quite clear on that point.
Oh, I shouldn't dream of leaving.
No, excuse will avail.
Not a sickness, business, anything else.
Here you will remain or else lose your ability.
Oh, I am quite clear on that point.
But what exactly is the work? It is to copy out the encyclopedia Britannica.
There is the first volume.
You will supply the ink, paper and pen.
We will supply this desk and chair.
Now would you be free to start next Monday morning? Oh, yes, certainly.
Then once again my congratulations Mr.
Jay Beards Wilson on the most important position you've been fortunate enough to gain.
Wonderful head of hair.
Good bye Mr.
Wilson.
Well done Mr.
Wilson.
Well done indeed.
This is the quickest way out sir.
Oh.
This way.
When I got home the whole thing seemed on reflection to be quite ridiculous.
Why? Who would make such an extraordinary will? Not a very generous millionaire to make you buy your own pen, ink, and paper.
Exactly Mr.
Holmes.
I soon persuaded myself it was some great hoax or fraud.
And then when Monday morning came along it seemed stupid to turn down a good job so, off I went and bought a penny bottle of ink and a pen and seven sheets of fools kept paper.
And I set off for Popes Core.
Good morning, Mr.
Wilson and welcome.
Good morning.
Well to my surprise and delight everything was as right as possible.
The table was set up ready for me and Mr.
Duncan Ross was there to see I got fairly to work.
My employment had truly begun.
The schedule never varied.
My work started at 10:00 and ended at 2:00 with a small break for my lunch at half past 12:00.
Every Saturday at 2:00 Mr.
Ross would come in and give me my money.
Compliment me upon the amount that I'd written and then we'd both leave.
Mr.
Ross locking the door afterwards.
The artichokes I found were positively fascinating.
They have a kind of a bloom on them but I thought that was very interesting Good Morning.
Oh, the work was very interesting.
Abacus, abbey, architecture, acts of the Apostles, adulteration, anatomy, apes, aquaducts.
After eight weeks I'd fairly dealt with the letter "A" and was hoping the diligence to get onto "B" when suddenly this morning the whole business came to end.
I went to my work as usual but the door was shut and locked with a little square of cardboard hammered onto the middle panel.
Oh, excuse me.
Have you seen Mr.
Duncan Ross this morning? Ross, Ross? Never heard of a gentleman with that name, sir and my memory is good.
It's very good, it's infallible to me.
No, the gentleman in number seven.
Ah, the gentleman who is red headed? Yes, yes.
Uh, yes, yes, yes, gone.
Gone? Mr.
William Morris, solicitor using my room as a temporary convenience until his new premises were ready.
Moved out yesterday, paid in full, doesn't owe a penny.
Mr.
Morris, where can I find him? At his new offices.
William Morris 17 King Edwards Street, near St.
Paul's.
Oh, thank you.
I don't see that there's anything very funny about it.
If all you can do is laugh at me well I can go elsewhere.
No, Mr.
Wilson please, please sit down.
I wouldn't miss this case for the world.
It is most refreshingly unusual.
I was so incensed with the forgery of deceit that I came straight to you sir.
Having heard of your great reputation for helping poor people in distress.
Mr.
Wilson.
You know Mr.
Wilson I really don't think that you've got any great grievance against this extraordinary league.
On the contrary you've been very well paid to say nothing of the detailed knowledge which you've acquired on every subject under the letter A.
Yes, but what's the object of them playing this prank on me? That is what I want to know.
This assistant of yours, how long has he been with you? Well about three months.
How did he come? With the answer to an advertisement.
Was he the only applicant? No, I had 12 others.
Why did you pick him? Well he was handy and would come cheap.
At half wages in fact.
Yes.
What's he like, this Vincent Spalding? Oh, well he's tall, slightly built and he's very quick in his ways.
He's got no hair on his face.
He's got a white splash of acid on his forehead.
Uh, have you ever observed whether his ears have been pierced for earrings? Yes, yes, he told me a gypsy had done it for him when he was a lad.
He is still with you? Yes, I just left him.
Mr.
Wilson, You will be at your shop if I should need you? Well I had thought of shutting up shop at dinner time today because Vincent had suggested I spend the rest of the weekend with my sister in Barking.
This whole business has upset my nerves very much.
Well you enjoy a restful weekend in Barking.
Today's Saturday.
By Monday we should have a conclusion for you.
In the matter of your fee Don't worry about that.
I believe it will be paid for by another.
Good day to you Mr.
Wilson.
What do you make of it all Watson? I make nothing of it.
Most mysterious business.
Yet there are graver issues hanging from this affair then that first had appeared.
What are you going to do? To smoke.
It is quite a three pipe problem and I beg that you won't speak to me for 50 minutes.
The business of the Red Headed League is concluded sir.
Satisfactorily I trust.
Most satisfactorily professor I am pleased to report.
Good.
Come Watson.
Huh? Excuse me.
Can you tell me the way to the Strand from here? Uh, third right, fourth left sir.
Thank you.
Holmes? Holmes, I could have told you that.
No doubt, Watson.
What is it? And why did you beat the pavement with your stick? Watson we are spies in an enemy's territory.
It's a hobby of mine to have an exact knowledge of London.
Now there's Mortimore's, the tobacconist.
The little newspaper shop.
Coburg Branch, the City and Suburban Bank.
McFarland's Carriage Building Depot and the vegetarian restaurant around the corner.
Watson commit to memory, it's just possible that we're being observed.
A considerable crime's in contemplation.
Today being Saturday somewhat complicates matters.
But now doctor our work is done.
It is time we had some play.
Sarasate's playing at Sir James Hall this afternoon.
A sandwich and a cup of coffee? And then off to violin land with all its sweetness, delicacy and harmony.
And no red headed clients to vex us with their conundrums.
All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness while his gently smiling face, and his languid dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes the sleuth hound as it was possible to conceive.
When I saw him so enwrapped in music I felt that an evil time might be coming upon those he had set himself to hunt down.
Excellent Watson.
You have a future as a cartographer.
That will be Athelney Jones.
I thought it was well enough to have someone from Scotland Yard with us.
He's an absolute imbecile at his profession but he does the tenacity of a lobster when he gets his claws into someone.
Good evening Jones.
So we're working in couples again Mr.
Holmes.
Our friend is a wonderful man for starting a chase.
All he needs is an old dog to help him do the running down.
Mr.
Merryweather, my friend and college Dr.
Watson.
How do you do sir? I only hope a wild goose may not prove to be the end of our chase.
I'm not personally in favor of amateur criminal investigation.
You might place considerable confidence in Mr.
Holmes.
Oh, if you say so Mr.
Jones.
He has his own little methods, which if he won't mind me saying so a little theoretical and fantastic, but he has the makings of a detective in him.
But I do say as I've said before the Colburg Branch of the Bank is as well secured as any building in London.
There isn't a possibility that it could be broken into.
Even insurance assessors agree on that point.
And you sir should know being not only the resident manager but also the director.
I should know and I do know.
And what is more, this is the first time for seven and twenty years that I've missed my Saturday night of whiskey at my club.
And I find myself extremely inconvenienced.
I think that you will find the game tonight much more exciting and the stake will be for many, many thousands of pounds.
And what will be my reward be Mr.
Homes? A young man, called Clay.
John Clay? Oh, how I'd like to get my hands on that devil.
You shall.
This young fellow's a gentleman as Mr.
Holmes says but he's turned against his class.
He's as cunning as the devil.
Slippery as an eel and he's turned crib cracking and forgery into a fine art.
His grandfather was a royal duke and he himself was educated at Eaton and Oxford.
So Watson, bring the gun.
Come gentlemen our cab is below.
There are only two keys to the vault.
I have one, the chairman holds the other in his personal safe.
Well you are certainly not vulnerable from above.
Nor from below.
Just a minute.
I'm going to ask you to be a little more quiet please.
Might I get you to sit on one of those boxes and not to interfere? There is no way in which a thief could break into this bank.
Is there a special reason why a thief should want to break into this bank? Nothing particularly Something in the past few months? Something that you had concealed from us? The information I have is confidential known only to the directors of the bank.
It is not to be divulged to members of the public, not even amateur detectives.
Private consulting detective, Mr.
Merryweather.
Unique in the annuls of crime I believe, isn't that so inspector? Yes, doctor.
I advise you to cooperate with Mr.
Holmes.
Especially as at this moment I am trying to save your skin and that of your fellow directors.
So what is it? Our French gold.
We had occasion some months ago to strengthen our resources and borrowed for that purpose 60,000 Napoleons from the bank of France.
Therefore our reserve of bullion is much larger than is usual in such a branch of the bank.
Where is this gold? The crates upon which Dr.
Watson sits contain 30,000 Napoleons wrapped between layers of lead foil.
May we see it? This is much bolder and larger in conception than I had first thought, wouldn't you say Jones? I would indeed.
This Clay's more of an amateur adventurer or spur of the moment criminal, Long planning is not Clay's type at all sir, not at all.
Unless he's a pawn in a much larger game.
Mr.
Merryweather someone has had access to information of the most confidential sort.
Careful plans have been made.
A mastermind has been at work.
Are you suggesting that I am suggesting that it bears the hallmarks of Professor Moriarity's work.
Moriarity? And who is this Moriarity? We don't really know sir.
That is neither the police nor I think Mr.
Sherlock Holmes here has ever set eyes on him.
His name echoes and re-echoes throughout the underworld.
It appears that he's a man of good birth, an excellent education but he has hereditary tendencies of the most diabolical kind.
A criminal strain runs in his blood which has increased and rendered infinitely more dangerous by his extraordinary mental powers.
He's the organizer of half that is evil and nearly all that is undetected in this great city.
He is never caught.
His agent is caught but the central power is never caught certainly even suspected.
We shall not see the professor tonight.
The only way for tonight's enemy to escape is through the pawn brokers.
There's already an inspector at the doors.
Exactly.
We have only a few moments positions Would you be so kind as to put out this lamp.
And sit in the dark? I'm afraid so.
We cannot risk the presence of light.
When I shine the light, act swiftly If they fire have no compassion about shooting them down.
Shhh.
Great Scott.
Jump at it, jump.
It's no good John Clay.
You have no chance at all.
So I see though I fancy my pal's all right.
At this moment he is running into the welcoming arms of the police.
You seem to have done the thing very completely.
I must compliment you.
And I you.
I'm Sherlock Holmes, a private investigator.
I didn't for a moment suspect your being a policeman Mr.
Holmes.
Come on, hold that one off for the Darby's.
I beg you to take your filthy hands off me.
You may not be aware that I have royal blood in my veins and be so kind as to say "sir" and "please" when you address me.
All right.
Would you please sir, mind marching upstairs while we get a cab to transport your highness to the police station? That's better.
Gentlemen.
Oh, one question Mr.
Clay.
Am I right in thinking that professor Moriarity was somewhere behind the idea of the Red Headed League? I suggest you keep that name off your lips Mr.
Holmes if you value your future well-being.
Really gentlemen, I don't know what to say.
Please forgive me Mr.
Holmes for ever doubting your outstanding, your brilliant qualities.
There is no doubt you've detected and defeated in the most complete manner one of the boldest attempts at bank robbery that has ever come within my experience.
Mr.
Merryweather I have then some small expense over this matter I shall expect the bank to refund.
Of course, of course.
It won't do you know it won't do.
No Professor.
I'm sorry we failed you.
Sherlock Holmes Holmes is a mere amateur in the field of detection.
Still he seems a clever man or a lucky one and he has a positive talent for getting in my way.
Should he be removed? It may be necessary.
It would be disappointing.
I find him interesting.
I believe this is the third time he has incommoded me.
If this continues then certainly something will have to be done to encourage Mr.
Holmes either to withdraw or stand clear.
Thank you.
Morning Constable.
Beg your pardon Dr.
Watson but this has all been too much for me.
My clients respect me as a man of confidence but where's the confidence left here.
I'm utterly ruined Oh, cheer up Mr.
Wilson.
You'll feel better when you've cleared up the mess.
Well that's all very well And Mr.
Holmes asked me to give you this, 50 sovereigns with the compliments of the City and Suburban Bank.
Well that's fair enough.
Oh, Dr.
Watson, this is more than acceptable, and my compliments to Mr.
Sherlock Holmes.
And he sends the same to you Mr.
Wilson and a word of advice Next time you engage an assistant pay him the proper wage.
Good day to you.
Oh, Holmes, I trust I am not more dense than my neighbors and yet here I have seen what you have seen, heard what you have heard and yet you have seen clearly not only what had happened, but what was about to happen while to me the whole business was still confused and grotesque.
Dr.
Watson recollect, when I heard that the assistant had come for half wages, it was obvious that he had some motive for securing the situation.
Yes, but how did you know what his motive was? Had there been a woman in the house I would have suspected immediately if some vulgar intrigue, but when I heard from Mr.
Wilson about the acid stain and the pierced ears I knew that Vincent Spalding and John Clay were the same person.
But why was Clay there? The photography gave you the clue.
Exactly.
The cellar, he was working on something in the cellar.
Something which took many hours a day for two months on end.
He was tunneling but where to? When I tapped my stick on the pavement in the street that day I was ascertaining whether the tunnel stretched in front or behind the building.
It was in front, towards the back.
Could you tell me the way to the strand from here? I recognized Clay immediately and delayed him to have time to examine his knees.
There he spoke clearly of many hours or tunneling.
No doubt linking up with a maze of sewers beneath Saxe Coburg Square.
When they closed the Red Headed League offices, it was a sign they no longer cared about Jay Beards Wilson's presence.
In other words the tunnel was complete.
And that they would make the attempt on a Saturday was just a guess? Watson, you disappoint me.
I never guess.
Saturday's an excellent night for stealing bullion.
It gives you a full day to escape.
Thank you then.
Thank you.
Oh, you've reasoned it out beautifully Holmes.
It's so long a chain and yet every link rings true.
It saved me from irony.
You know sometimes I think my whole life is spent in one long effort to escape from the common places of existence.
No, no.
You are a benefactor of the race Holmes.
Well maybe it is of some little use after all.
as Gusta Flabare wrote to George Sand.
No, no, you couldn't have come at a better time.
I was afraid you were engaged.
I am, very much so.
Dr.
Watson shares my love of all that is bizarre, but outside the routine of everyday existence.
It is at present and impossible to say that this case is an instance of crime or no.
But suffice it to say that I know as little about Mr.
Jay Beards Wilson as you do yourself, beyond the obvious facts.
That he has done manual labor at sometime.
But it takes staff that he has been to China.
And that he has done a considerable amount of writing lately.
How in the name of good fortune did you know all that Mr.
Holmes? As true as gospel I once did manual labor.
I started off as a ship's carpenter.
Your hands my good servant.
The muscles of your right hand are more developed than the left.
And the writing? What else could be indicated.
By the right cuffs are very shiny for five inches.
And the left sleeve with smooth pattern over the elbow where you lean it on the desk but China? The fish tattooed immediately above his right wrist.
I have made a small study of tattoo marks, Mr.
Wilson, and have even contributed to the literature of the subject.
That trick of staining the fish scales, a delicate pink is quite peculiar to China.
Wherein addition I see a Chinese coin hanging from his watch chain.
The matter becomes even more simple.
Well I never I thought at first it was something clever, but now I see there's nothing in it after all.
You know I begin to think that my reputation such as it is will suffer shipwreck if I'm so candid pro magnifico.
Everything becomes commonplace by explanation.
Watson that is a very loose translation.
Oh, please show the doctor that advertisement.
Oh, there, you can read it for yourself sir.
To the Red Headed League.
On account of the request of the late Iscar Hopkins of Lebanon, Pennsylvania USA there is a vacancy open which entitles a member of the league to a salary of four pounds a week for purely nominal services.
All red headed men sound in body and mind and above the age of 21 are eligible.
Apply in person on Monday at 11:00 to Mr.
Duncan Ross at the offices of the League, 7 Copes Court Fleet Street.
Is this serious? It is a little off the beaten track, hey Watson.
Oh, would you make a note of the paper and the date? Evening standard of Saturday the 27th of April, two months ago.
Do try this sitting.
Now, Mr.
Wilson, off you go at scratch and tell us all about yourself.
Oh, well gentlemen I have a small pawn broking business in Sax Coburg Street, near the city.
It's not a very large affair.
It just gives me a living.
I used to keep two assistants but now I just keep the one.
And to tell you the truth I'd have a job to make you pay but the deeds willing to come at half wages so as to learn the business.
About two months ago What is the name of the obliging youth? Vincent, Vincent Spalding.
Oh, but he's not such a youth either Mr.
Holmes.
It's difficult to say his age but I couldn't wish for a smarter assistant.
You seem most remarkably fortunate.
In having an employee who comes under the market price, I don't know that your assistant is not as remarkable as your advertisement.
Oh, but he does have his faults.
However, he was such a fellow for photography.
Always snapping away with his camera when he should be improving his mind and then diving down into the cellar to develop the wretched things.
Still on the whole he's a good worker.
No vice in him.
It was he who first showed me the advertisement.
I wish to the lord I was a red headed man Mr.
Wilson.
Why is that? Well there's another vacancy in the League of Red Headed Men.
I've never heard of it.
Well, I'd wonder at that you being so eligible yourself.
Nice money too.
A couple hundred a year and the work's light Oh, there'll be thousands of red headed men apply.
Oh, well I doubt that sir.
Well nobody with such a fine fiery color as you're blessed with Mr.
Wilson.
But then I suppose it's only worth your while to put yourself out of the way for sake of a few hundred pounds.
Yes, sir.
Well I'm very much of a stay at home sort of person.
Sometimes weeks on end before I put my foot over the doormat but this it looked interesting.
I was intrigued and young Vincent said he'd come with me.
So, on Monday morning we shut up the shop and off we went.
Now, Vincent let's go back I can't get by the crowd.
Courage Mr.
Wilson.
We're so near and so much at stake.
Now you put your coat on and come along with me.
Ohy, Ohy, Ohy, a little less noise please gentlemen.
Here, here what's your game? Hey get out of here.
Hey, hey Off you go, you next, get in.
Hey, where are you going? Straight this way, Come on.
This is Mr.
Wilson.
Right in you go Mr.
Wilson.
Admirably suited.
Every requirement.
Very quiet.
Congratulations Mr.
Wilson.
It would be injustice to hesitate.
You will I'm sure excuse me if I take an obvious precaution.
Tears in your eyes.
I perceive all is as it should be.
We have to be careful.
Twice deceived by wigs, once by paint.
I could tell you tales of cobblers wags that would disgust you with human nature.
My name is Duncan Ross.
I am myself a pension upon a fund left by a noble benefactor.
I see you're about to question me about Mr.
Ethic Guya Hopkins.
He was himself red headed.
In his youth he left London for America where he made many millions of dollars.
On his death it was found that he had instructed a trustee in his will to make life a little easier for the red headed men in the town of his birth.
Wonderful color.
Now what's your full name Mr.
Wilson? Jay Beards Wilson.
Jay Beards Wilson and are you a married man, Mr.
Wilson? Do you have a family? No, I'm a widower.
No, I never had any family.
Oh dear, sad to hear you say that.
The fund of course is for the propagation and spread of red headed men as well as with their maintenance.
In another case the objection might be fatal.
However, I've think we've got to stretch a point in favor of a man with such a head of hair as yours.
The vacancy has been filled.
The vacancy is filled.
Now, off you go.
Sorry about that.
Off you go.
Now, when would you be free to start upon your new duties? Oh, well it is rather awkward as I do have a business already.
What would be the hours? 10:00 to 2:00.
Well the mornings are quiet.
I do have an assistant.
Yes, that would suit me very well.
And the money mentioned, four pounds a week.
Correct.
And the work? Purely nominal.
Yes, but what do you call purely nominal? Well, you have to stay in the office or at least in the building the whole time.
If you leave you forfeit your whole position forever.
The will is quite clear on that point.
Oh, I shouldn't dream of leaving.
No, excuse will avail.
Not a sickness, business, anything else.
Here you will remain or else lose your ability.
Oh, I am quite clear on that point.
But what exactly is the work? It is to copy out the encyclopedia Britannica.
There is the first volume.
You will supply the ink, paper and pen.
We will supply this desk and chair.
Now would you be free to start next Monday morning? Oh, yes, certainly.
Then once again my congratulations Mr.
Jay Beards Wilson on the most important position you've been fortunate enough to gain.
Wonderful head of hair.
Good bye Mr.
Wilson.
Well done Mr.
Wilson.
Well done indeed.
This is the quickest way out sir.
Oh.
This way.
When I got home the whole thing seemed on reflection to be quite ridiculous.
Why? Who would make such an extraordinary will? Not a very generous millionaire to make you buy your own pen, ink, and paper.
Exactly Mr.
Holmes.
I soon persuaded myself it was some great hoax or fraud.
And then when Monday morning came along it seemed stupid to turn down a good job so, off I went and bought a penny bottle of ink and a pen and seven sheets of fools kept paper.
And I set off for Popes Core.
Good morning, Mr.
Wilson and welcome.
Good morning.
Well to my surprise and delight everything was as right as possible.
The table was set up ready for me and Mr.
Duncan Ross was there to see I got fairly to work.
My employment had truly begun.
The schedule never varied.
My work started at 10:00 and ended at 2:00 with a small break for my lunch at half past 12:00.
Every Saturday at 2:00 Mr.
Ross would come in and give me my money.
Compliment me upon the amount that I'd written and then we'd both leave.
Mr.
Ross locking the door afterwards.
The artichokes I found were positively fascinating.
They have a kind of a bloom on them but I thought that was very interesting Good Morning.
Oh, the work was very interesting.
Abacus, abbey, architecture, acts of the Apostles, adulteration, anatomy, apes, aquaducts.
After eight weeks I'd fairly dealt with the letter "A" and was hoping the diligence to get onto "B" when suddenly this morning the whole business came to end.
I went to my work as usual but the door was shut and locked with a little square of cardboard hammered onto the middle panel.
Oh, excuse me.
Have you seen Mr.
Duncan Ross this morning? Ross, Ross? Never heard of a gentleman with that name, sir and my memory is good.
It's very good, it's infallible to me.
No, the gentleman in number seven.
Ah, the gentleman who is red headed? Yes, yes.
Uh, yes, yes, yes, gone.
Gone? Mr.
William Morris, solicitor using my room as a temporary convenience until his new premises were ready.
Moved out yesterday, paid in full, doesn't owe a penny.
Mr.
Morris, where can I find him? At his new offices.
William Morris 17 King Edwards Street, near St.
Paul's.
Oh, thank you.
I don't see that there's anything very funny about it.
If all you can do is laugh at me well I can go elsewhere.
No, Mr.
Wilson please, please sit down.
I wouldn't miss this case for the world.
It is most refreshingly unusual.
I was so incensed with the forgery of deceit that I came straight to you sir.
Having heard of your great reputation for helping poor people in distress.
Mr.
Wilson.
You know Mr.
Wilson I really don't think that you've got any great grievance against this extraordinary league.
On the contrary you've been very well paid to say nothing of the detailed knowledge which you've acquired on every subject under the letter A.
Yes, but what's the object of them playing this prank on me? That is what I want to know.
This assistant of yours, how long has he been with you? Well about three months.
How did he come? With the answer to an advertisement.
Was he the only applicant? No, I had 12 others.
Why did you pick him? Well he was handy and would come cheap.
At half wages in fact.
Yes.
What's he like, this Vincent Spalding? Oh, well he's tall, slightly built and he's very quick in his ways.
He's got no hair on his face.
He's got a white splash of acid on his forehead.
Uh, have you ever observed whether his ears have been pierced for earrings? Yes, yes, he told me a gypsy had done it for him when he was a lad.
He is still with you? Yes, I just left him.
Mr.
Wilson, You will be at your shop if I should need you? Well I had thought of shutting up shop at dinner time today because Vincent had suggested I spend the rest of the weekend with my sister in Barking.
This whole business has upset my nerves very much.
Well you enjoy a restful weekend in Barking.
Today's Saturday.
By Monday we should have a conclusion for you.
In the matter of your fee Don't worry about that.
I believe it will be paid for by another.
Good day to you Mr.
Wilson.
What do you make of it all Watson? I make nothing of it.
Most mysterious business.
Yet there are graver issues hanging from this affair then that first had appeared.
What are you going to do? To smoke.
It is quite a three pipe problem and I beg that you won't speak to me for 50 minutes.
The business of the Red Headed League is concluded sir.
Satisfactorily I trust.
Most satisfactorily professor I am pleased to report.
Good.
Come Watson.
Huh? Excuse me.
Can you tell me the way to the Strand from here? Uh, third right, fourth left sir.
Thank you.
Holmes? Holmes, I could have told you that.
No doubt, Watson.
What is it? And why did you beat the pavement with your stick? Watson we are spies in an enemy's territory.
It's a hobby of mine to have an exact knowledge of London.
Now there's Mortimore's, the tobacconist.
The little newspaper shop.
Coburg Branch, the City and Suburban Bank.
McFarland's Carriage Building Depot and the vegetarian restaurant around the corner.
Watson commit to memory, it's just possible that we're being observed.
A considerable crime's in contemplation.
Today being Saturday somewhat complicates matters.
But now doctor our work is done.
It is time we had some play.
Sarasate's playing at Sir James Hall this afternoon.
A sandwich and a cup of coffee? And then off to violin land with all its sweetness, delicacy and harmony.
And no red headed clients to vex us with their conundrums.
All the afternoon he sat in the stalls wrapped in the most perfect happiness while his gently smiling face, and his languid dreamy eyes were as unlike those of Holmes the sleuth hound as it was possible to conceive.
When I saw him so enwrapped in music I felt that an evil time might be coming upon those he had set himself to hunt down.
Excellent Watson.
You have a future as a cartographer.
That will be Athelney Jones.
I thought it was well enough to have someone from Scotland Yard with us.
He's an absolute imbecile at his profession but he does the tenacity of a lobster when he gets his claws into someone.
Good evening Jones.
So we're working in couples again Mr.
Holmes.
Our friend is a wonderful man for starting a chase.
All he needs is an old dog to help him do the running down.
Mr.
Merryweather, my friend and college Dr.
Watson.
How do you do sir? I only hope a wild goose may not prove to be the end of our chase.
I'm not personally in favor of amateur criminal investigation.
You might place considerable confidence in Mr.
Holmes.
Oh, if you say so Mr.
Jones.
He has his own little methods, which if he won't mind me saying so a little theoretical and fantastic, but he has the makings of a detective in him.
But I do say as I've said before the Colburg Branch of the Bank is as well secured as any building in London.
There isn't a possibility that it could be broken into.
Even insurance assessors agree on that point.
And you sir should know being not only the resident manager but also the director.
I should know and I do know.
And what is more, this is the first time for seven and twenty years that I've missed my Saturday night of whiskey at my club.
And I find myself extremely inconvenienced.
I think that you will find the game tonight much more exciting and the stake will be for many, many thousands of pounds.
And what will be my reward be Mr.
Homes? A young man, called Clay.
John Clay? Oh, how I'd like to get my hands on that devil.
You shall.
This young fellow's a gentleman as Mr.
Holmes says but he's turned against his class.
He's as cunning as the devil.
Slippery as an eel and he's turned crib cracking and forgery into a fine art.
His grandfather was a royal duke and he himself was educated at Eaton and Oxford.
So Watson, bring the gun.
Come gentlemen our cab is below.
There are only two keys to the vault.
I have one, the chairman holds the other in his personal safe.
Well you are certainly not vulnerable from above.
Nor from below.
Just a minute.
I'm going to ask you to be a little more quiet please.
Might I get you to sit on one of those boxes and not to interfere? There is no way in which a thief could break into this bank.
Is there a special reason why a thief should want to break into this bank? Nothing particularly Something in the past few months? Something that you had concealed from us? The information I have is confidential known only to the directors of the bank.
It is not to be divulged to members of the public, not even amateur detectives.
Private consulting detective, Mr.
Merryweather.
Unique in the annuls of crime I believe, isn't that so inspector? Yes, doctor.
I advise you to cooperate with Mr.
Holmes.
Especially as at this moment I am trying to save your skin and that of your fellow directors.
So what is it? Our French gold.
We had occasion some months ago to strengthen our resources and borrowed for that purpose 60,000 Napoleons from the bank of France.
Therefore our reserve of bullion is much larger than is usual in such a branch of the bank.
Where is this gold? The crates upon which Dr.
Watson sits contain 30,000 Napoleons wrapped between layers of lead foil.
May we see it? This is much bolder and larger in conception than I had first thought, wouldn't you say Jones? I would indeed.
This Clay's more of an amateur adventurer or spur of the moment criminal, Long planning is not Clay's type at all sir, not at all.
Unless he's a pawn in a much larger game.
Mr.
Merryweather someone has had access to information of the most confidential sort.
Careful plans have been made.
A mastermind has been at work.
Are you suggesting that I am suggesting that it bears the hallmarks of Professor Moriarity's work.
Moriarity? And who is this Moriarity? We don't really know sir.
That is neither the police nor I think Mr.
Sherlock Holmes here has ever set eyes on him.
His name echoes and re-echoes throughout the underworld.
It appears that he's a man of good birth, an excellent education but he has hereditary tendencies of the most diabolical kind.
A criminal strain runs in his blood which has increased and rendered infinitely more dangerous by his extraordinary mental powers.
He's the organizer of half that is evil and nearly all that is undetected in this great city.
He is never caught.
His agent is caught but the central power is never caught certainly even suspected.
We shall not see the professor tonight.
The only way for tonight's enemy to escape is through the pawn brokers.
There's already an inspector at the doors.
Exactly.
We have only a few moments positions Would you be so kind as to put out this lamp.
And sit in the dark? I'm afraid so.
We cannot risk the presence of light.
When I shine the light, act swiftly If they fire have no compassion about shooting them down.
Shhh.
Great Scott.
Jump at it, jump.
It's no good John Clay.
You have no chance at all.
So I see though I fancy my pal's all right.
At this moment he is running into the welcoming arms of the police.
You seem to have done the thing very completely.
I must compliment you.
And I you.
I'm Sherlock Holmes, a private investigator.
I didn't for a moment suspect your being a policeman Mr.
Holmes.
Come on, hold that one off for the Darby's.
I beg you to take your filthy hands off me.
You may not be aware that I have royal blood in my veins and be so kind as to say "sir" and "please" when you address me.
All right.
Would you please sir, mind marching upstairs while we get a cab to transport your highness to the police station? That's better.
Gentlemen.
Oh, one question Mr.
Clay.
Am I right in thinking that professor Moriarity was somewhere behind the idea of the Red Headed League? I suggest you keep that name off your lips Mr.
Holmes if you value your future well-being.
Really gentlemen, I don't know what to say.
Please forgive me Mr.
Holmes for ever doubting your outstanding, your brilliant qualities.
There is no doubt you've detected and defeated in the most complete manner one of the boldest attempts at bank robbery that has ever come within my experience.
Mr.
Merryweather I have then some small expense over this matter I shall expect the bank to refund.
Of course, of course.
It won't do you know it won't do.
No Professor.
I'm sorry we failed you.
Sherlock Holmes Holmes is a mere amateur in the field of detection.
Still he seems a clever man or a lucky one and he has a positive talent for getting in my way.
Should he be removed? It may be necessary.
It would be disappointing.
I find him interesting.
I believe this is the third time he has incommoded me.
If this continues then certainly something will have to be done to encourage Mr.
Holmes either to withdraw or stand clear.
Thank you.
Morning Constable.
Beg your pardon Dr.
Watson but this has all been too much for me.
My clients respect me as a man of confidence but where's the confidence left here.
I'm utterly ruined Oh, cheer up Mr.
Wilson.
You'll feel better when you've cleared up the mess.
Well that's all very well And Mr.
Holmes asked me to give you this, 50 sovereigns with the compliments of the City and Suburban Bank.
Well that's fair enough.
Oh, Dr.
Watson, this is more than acceptable, and my compliments to Mr.
Sherlock Holmes.
And he sends the same to you Mr.
Wilson and a word of advice Next time you engage an assistant pay him the proper wage.
Good day to you.
Oh, Holmes, I trust I am not more dense than my neighbors and yet here I have seen what you have seen, heard what you have heard and yet you have seen clearly not only what had happened, but what was about to happen while to me the whole business was still confused and grotesque.
Dr.
Watson recollect, when I heard that the assistant had come for half wages, it was obvious that he had some motive for securing the situation.
Yes, but how did you know what his motive was? Had there been a woman in the house I would have suspected immediately if some vulgar intrigue, but when I heard from Mr.
Wilson about the acid stain and the pierced ears I knew that Vincent Spalding and John Clay were the same person.
But why was Clay there? The photography gave you the clue.
Exactly.
The cellar, he was working on something in the cellar.
Something which took many hours a day for two months on end.
He was tunneling but where to? When I tapped my stick on the pavement in the street that day I was ascertaining whether the tunnel stretched in front or behind the building.
It was in front, towards the back.
Could you tell me the way to the strand from here? I recognized Clay immediately and delayed him to have time to examine his knees.
There he spoke clearly of many hours or tunneling.
No doubt linking up with a maze of sewers beneath Saxe Coburg Square.
When they closed the Red Headed League offices, it was a sign they no longer cared about Jay Beards Wilson's presence.
In other words the tunnel was complete.
And that they would make the attempt on a Saturday was just a guess? Watson, you disappoint me.
I never guess.
Saturday's an excellent night for stealing bullion.
It gives you a full day to escape.
Thank you then.
Thank you.
Oh, you've reasoned it out beautifully Holmes.
It's so long a chain and yet every link rings true.
It saved me from irony.
You know sometimes I think my whole life is spent in one long effort to escape from the common places of existence.
No, no.
You are a benefactor of the race Holmes.
Well maybe it is of some little use after all.
as Gusta Flabare wrote to George Sand.