The Last Kids on Earth (2019) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[suspenseful music playing]
-[electronic music playing]
-[Jack] Whoo hoo-hoo! Ha ha!
[Dirk, June, Quint, Jack laughing]
[Rover barking, panting]
[Jack] Yah! Ha ha!
[Dirk] Catch is a lot more fun
when you don't have to worry
about zombies around every corner.
-[Rover panting]
-Fewer zombies is great, but also weird.
This calls for an investigation.
Where are they going, and why?
I don't know. Yah!
-[panting, barking]
-[metal clang]
[Rover whimpering]
[Rover snarls]
Huh?
[Rover whimpers, growls]
What is it, bud?
Why are you acting all
weird.
[suspenseful music building]
What the huh?
[theme music playing]
[roars]
Whoa!
[all scream]
Guys, this is the area
where the zombies were headed last night,
following the shrieking.
[grunts]
Looks like they didn't get very far.
What would do this?
[sniffs]
It's like something
sucked out their brains.
And you have to sniff the pencil
to figure that out?
We need to figure out what's doing this,
before we're the ones
with our brains sucked out.
[door creaks]
[monster growling]
[suspenseful music playing]
[Dirk, from a distance]
Jack. Jack?
Would you mind hurrying up?
Uh, yeah. Coming.
We gotta stay together
until we figure this out.
-Deal?
-Deal.
-I'm in agreement.
-[paper rustles]
Hmm.
Jack, we're nodding.
Uh? Oh, uh, yeah, I'm with ya.
Stick together, thick and thin.
No one goes solo.
[Rover growling]
[Jack]
Don't give me that disapproving growl.
Besides, I'm not solo, I'm with you.
I have to find
whatever is sucking zombie noggins
before it moves on to sucking our noggins.
[whimpers]
[Jack sighs]
Some monster in this book
is eating zombie brains.
The only way to make sure
my buddies aren't next
is to track down every one of them.
I gotta finish the bestiary.
-[slurping]
-[laughs] OK.
Go on, boy.
I'll be home as soon as I can.
-[birds tweeting]
-[yawns]
[sighs]
Ah, Jack.
Hmm.
-[gasps]
-Jack's gone. He took the bestiary.
What?! He's off gallivanting
with that book again?
Didn't I just say
we need to stick together? Didn't I?
[both]
Yes.
Should we go try to find him?
No, not now.
I'm making progress.
Whoa. [chuckles]
That's a lot of yarn.
There is some clue here that'll tell us
what's luring and attacking these zombies.
[Dirk]
What's the pony for?
I had an extra pony, OK?
Fine work, friend.
Meanwhile, Dirk and I
will consult my zombie research journal.
Maybe there's something
in their biology that can help us.
Good! Get to it!
This horrifying zombie brain mystery
isn't gonna solve itself, people!
Sorry. Old habits.
Dirk?
Where's my zombie research journal?
I don't know. What'd it look like?
[sniffs]
A journal that says "zombie research"
in huge letters on the front!
Oh, yeah, I got rid of it.
It smelled like rotting flesh.
Of course it smelled like rotting flesh.
It had rotting flesh in it.
Do you just throw away anything
that smells like rotting flesh?
Uh, yeah, usually.
Oh, my research. My fieldwork.
Dude, you really want it,
it's in our trash pile.
We have a trash pile?
Yeah. Been meaning
to talk to you guys about that.
-It's gotten out of hand.
-[flies buzzing]
We need my zombie journal.
Dirk, I hate to say this,
but we have to take out the trash.
Dude.
End of the world,
and I still end up doing chores.
-This apocalypse stinks!
-[flies buzzing]
Monster name,
Tentacular Spectacular.
Essence flagellum whiskers.
Man, there's a lot of pages to fill.
But no one said it couldn't be fun.
OK, wake up, little Susie.
-[metal clang]
-[bubbling]
[metal groaning]
Uh!
[metal screeches]
[monster screeches]
Are you the one
who's been performing brainy-ectomies
on our undead neighbors?
Ha ha!
Prepare to be essence-napped, monster!
-But first, smile!
-[camera hums]
-[shutter clicks]
-[snarls]
-[metal groans]
-[Jack gasps]
[creature roars]
[Jack screaming]
What the huh?!
[Jack screaming]
[creature snarls]
-[Jack grunts]
-[Thrull grunts]
Ugh! Thrull, what are you doing?
Where'd you come from?
Were you watching me?
I am taking the bestiary back.
No, come on! Aah!
I told you, completing the bestiary
is the ultimate quest.
But you refuse to take it seriously.
I am very ah serious.
[Jack groans]
Do you know how dangerous that beast is?
And you would dare to attempt
to retrieve its essence while joking?
[annoyed groan]
[soft grunt]
[Jack, panting]
Wait!
Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait-wait.
You can't just take it from me.
It was a gift!
I gave you that hockey stick as a gift,
and I didn't take it back.
[Thrull grunts]
The bestiary was more than a gift.
It was a test.
And you failed.
Wait!
Nobody told me it was a test.
Not knowing it was a test
was part of the test.
[grunts] The day we met,
you stood strong
against the Wormungulous.
I hoped you would be the one
who could complete the bestiary.
I was mistaken.
[gasps]
But what's the big deal?
Who cares if I have fun while doing it?
You do not understand.
Not every creature that wanted to come
through the portal to your dimension
was able to cross over.
Rezzoch is coming.
Rezzoch? The evil destructor of worlds
evil destroyer guy?
At any moment,
the portals may open again,
bringing blood, death, terror!
Crud. I am anti-blood, death, terror.
[grunts]
Jack, I apologize for my anger,
but
Hey, Thrull, what is it?
In this dimension,
friends tell friends things.
This bestiary is no ordinary book.
It is the only thing powerful enough
to stop the coming danger.
I will do anything to protect my friends.
Show me what to do.
I will take it seriously.
Scout's honor, cross my heart,
hope to be zombified.
[Thrull]
Hmm.
Prove to me the seriousness
of your purpose
through rigorous training.
Yes! Rad!
Yay for second chances!
[sniffs] You smell delicious!
Like curly fries!
[growls]
Sorry! Serious. Only serious.
Yes!
Hmm.
Zombie parade, zombies disappearing,
a zombie pile, brains sucked out.
-But why suck brains? Food?
-[crash outside]
-Whatever it's feeding, it's big.
-[crashing]
-Really big.
-[clunking]
Can you guys keep it down?
I can't hear myself think!
[Dirk] We're cleaning
as quietly as we can, Mom!
I'm not your mom!
Something for which I am very grateful!
[growls] Ugh!
Wait. [gasps]
I've seen you before.
[shuffling]
[suspenseful music playing]
Watching us.
Time for this reporter
to go into the field.
[rock music playing]
[grunting]
Did she just run off
without telling us where she was going,
contradicting everything she said
this morning?
-Yep. Yah!
-[squelching]
Blech!
-[slurping]
-Ugh! Ooh! Ugh!
Ugh!
-[rocks giggling]
-[Jack grunting]
What about ugh the bestiary?
-And finding monsters? Ugh!
-[rocks giggling]
Keep focused on the task at hand.
Focus!
Ugh!
-[giggling]
-[groans]
[exhales] Uh-uh!
-[metal groans]
-Ah!
Ugh!
[blade whooshing]
[Jack grunting]
Huh! Yah! Hiyah!
Huh! Not bad, huh?
[comical grunt]
[groans]
Hmm.
Hmm!
-[Dirk grunting]
-[Quint gags]
[barks, panting]
[squelch]
[panting]
-[Thrull grunting]
-[Jack] Huh! Huh! Yah!
Hiyah!
Ugh!
[groans]
-[June] I thought I was close!
-[overlapping monster chatter]
I felt it! Reporter's intuition.
[chomps]
But I'm just back where I started!
[chomps]
I feel your pain, my sister.
Intuition can be a powerful woman tool,
until it leads us astray.
-Like my fifth mate.
-[June chomping]
He was attractive in the face,
but he was weak!
So, I defeated him in armed combat
and sent him homeward
to his birthing mother.
This is not a perfect comparison.
Good story, Skaelka,
but I should probably be
-Whoa!
-[bat monster squeaks]
[gasps]
The cloak! I found it!
You now make progress!
Progress is good!
Now, shall I chop the cloak in half?
That will be more progress.
[sniffs]
I know this odor.
Ah, it's on the tip of my nose.
It smells like salami!
Skaelka, come with me, and bring your ax!
I do! Everywhere but the shower.
[electronic music playing]
-Tires, tires, tires, tire, tires.
-[rocks giggling]
-Ugh!
-[rocks chittering]
-[panting]
-Giving up already?
[pants] That bestiary is the key
to keeping my friends alive, Thrull,
so I can't wait any longer.
I'm ready! Enough training!
Prove yourself. Attack me.
What? Oh, OK.
You asked for it! Uhh!
Feel the pain! Ugh!
Nice to slice ya! Ugh!
Whack attack! Ugh!
Taste the thunder! Ugh! Aah!
-[rocks giggling]
-I'm a serious warrior, Thrull. I swear.
I just need a serious moment of rest.
Ugh, catch your breath, boy.
If you want to protect your friends,
you must be prepared.
Have I told you about the day
I fell into your world?
[monsters shrieking]
[Thrull]
It was madness. Chaos.
Frightened and disoriented,
many of the creatures
from my world lashed out.
I only survived by being focused
and fearless, and serious.
Only my quickness,
only my focus,
only that allowed me
to perform Rising Anguish,
the move that saved my life.
In order to complete the bestiary,
you must put away childish behaviors
and become a warrior.
You give up?
No.
I get serious.
-[wind blowing]
-[sign creaking]
There! Whatever creature wore this cloak
has been at that deli.
We're about to crack this story wide open.
Yes! Like a skull.
[clunking]
Dirk, if we don't find
this zombie journal, we can't help.
We'll be useless!
-Not in this one!
-[crunches]
[snuffling]
[whimpering, barking]
[Dirk]
Uh-oh, Rover's got himself trapped.
That's it! A trap!
-We can build a trap!
-[clanking]
[Dirk spits]
I found it!
Yes! My zombie journal!
I no longer need that.
What?!
Got a new plan.
We are going to build a trap.
-Hiyah!
-[crashes]
[comical grunt]
Chore complete.
[barking]
Thrull said this monster
was too ferocious for me to handle.
I'll show him.
[gasps] It's cold. Aah!
And now it's up to my boxers!
[bubbling]
[door creaks]
Hmm.
[creature snarling]
Huh?
-[creature snarls]
-Aah!
[snarling]
[blows]
Uh, I think I'll go vegetarian.
[splashing]
All right, Jack.
No more games, no more fun.
-Battle like Thrull.
-[bubbling]
The bestiary is for legit hunters only.
Aah, tires!
-Ah! Monster!
-[snarls]
[Jack grunts]
[creature snarls]
Huh! Ugh!
[suspenseful music playing]
[roars]
OK, everybody out of the pool.
[Jack whimpering]
[snarls]
[door creaks]
This deli goes on for miles.
Whoa.
What what is this?
-[zombie moaning]
-Ah!
Zombie! Aah! Aah!
-[snarling]
-Skaelka, help!
-[growling]
-Ah!
-[squelch]
-[June screams]
[moans]
You should be more careful.
These things are an abomination.
They must be eradicated.
Uh, thanks?
Hmm.
O-OK. I have a thing.
So Aah! Aah!
Oh, it's you.
How disappointing.
I found neither a new mate
nor a creature to battle!
-[door squeaks, slams]
-Bardle!
He saved me, but he killed a zombie.
And there's this whole wall
of pictures of us. No!
[audibly struggling]
[light whooshes]
Someone was studying the zombies and us!
There were pictures of us! In there!
And I don't know for sure,
but I think Bardle is
[stammering]
I mean, I'm not sure.
-But he was there and
-[Skaelka] June!
Do you need me
to decapitate something for you?
No. Not yet.
Oh, OK. When?
I don't have an exact time
for the decapitating.
A ballpark?
No.
Oh. Mozzarella sticks?
[sighs] Yeah.
But I am not giving up on that room.
Skaelka, why is this mozzarella stick wet?
-I'm sweaty. This dimension is humid.
-[door creaks, slams]
[creature snarls]
Aah! Ugh!
-[bubbling]
-[snarls]
-Ah! Ugh!
-[snarls]
Flagellum! Yah!
[snarls]
Serious bestiary essence.
-[snarls]
-Hey! No fair!
Ugh!
Jack! No! Ugh! Ugh!
[snarls]
[Jack gasps]
Aah! Ugh!
-[snarls]
-Unh!
Aah! Ah, forget serious!
Unh!
-[stomps]
-[car alarm blares]
[creature snarls]
[sing-songy]
I'm the best serious warrior I know!
-You're a big ugly monster, oh, whoa!
-[alarm continues]
Beep! Beep!
Human tushy, come and get it!
[snarls]
[screams]
[shrieks] Ow! My ankle!
-[bubbling]
-Fool!
[snarling]
[snarling]
Hiyah!
Psych!
Rising Anguish!
Sorry, fishy dude. Tricked ya.
[creature snarls]
Huh!
-Say "selfie"!
-[snarls]
Hiyah!
Huh! This may sting a little!
[creature snarls]
Unh!
Look, I'm sorry, I know that hurt,
but I gotta finish the bestiary
to save all of us.
[snarls]
Yah!
[snarls]
Stay!
[groans]
You performed Rising Anguish, as I did.
Sure did.
After I used my goofy dance moves.
You have earned the right to fight
the way you see fit.
You did well.
Hmm.
[camera shutter clicks]
Hi, guys. I was
Aah! Vine thingy ankle attack!
[Dirk]
It's not a vine thingy, you dork.
[Quint] It's a zombie trap,
a trap to catch zombies.
Cool, cool, fun, fun. Why?
We will capture a zombie.
And the next time we hear the shrieking,
we set the zombie loose!
Then we follow it and find out
where all the missing zombies are going!
Great plan, I think.
My brain is getting, uh, woozily.
Hey, uh, June, a little help
No! You went off on your own
after you agreed not to!
So did you!
I'm talking to Jack!
Oh! Well, I could explain that,
except all the blood
is running to my head.
So, what's with the dorky piñata?
It's a zombie trap, to help us solve
the missing zombie mystery.
Well, you better hope it works,
'cause I'm not sure
how much more time we've got.
Wh-what do you mean?
Guys, I think Bardle
is the cloaked figure in these pics.
Bardle is totally involved
in this zombie brain thing,
and the shrieking, and the zombie parade.
-I'm not sure how, but he is.
-[moaning] Guys?
-Guys?
-And I think we're all in danger.
[Jack]
Guys?
-Then we better get to it!
-[Jack] Guys?
[gasps] Wait!
Somebody let me down!
I'm head-lighted
I mean, lightheaded.
Guys? Anybody?
-Hey! Aah! Eww!
-[slurps]
Trash juice!
-No, no, no, no, no! Aah! Rover!
-[slurping, snuffling]
Oh! Aw!
[theme music playing]