The Life and Movies of Erşan Kuneri (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[Erşan] When it comes to films,
I have one principle.
There's no kind I won't watch
and no kind I won't shoot. Here, look.
- You getting this?
- [man] Got it.
Look at my tapes, look at my collection.
All kinds of films.
Anyway [grunts]
Yaprak Sarması.
- [grunts] The reactions to that film.
- [woman] Uh-huh?
- The strangest response. Bizarre.
- [woman] What happened?
- You know, it was in a mansion.
- [man] Yes.
And because that was the setting,
everyone started to sell their mansions.
- [woman] Why?
- In Yeşilköy, every mansion was empty.
- No one wanted 'em.
- [man] Wow.
They traded 'em for apartment buildings.
They soured on mansions that much.
- Imagine that.
- [man] You're kidding.
And honestly, I loved that.
I thought that response was great.
- I still come in here.
- [man] Yeah?
I may not always shoot,
but I always write.
Always the next script.
- Really. See.
- [woman laughs]
Even if you don't shoot it,
you just can't help yourself.
Oh, Yaprak Sarması.
My big brother Cemal was in that.
Our first together.
- [man] Aww.
- Cemal, God rest his soul.
- Our first together.
- [man, woman] God rest his soul.
- Yeah. [exhales]
- [woman] Whoa, a cigarette?
- You still smoke?
- One a day won't kill me.
- [woman] Hmm.
- [exhales]
The next thing I shot
was a nice family-friendly film.
I was inspired by movies like
Neşeli Günler and Aile Şerefi.
Ertem pictures.
You know, all those loving family films.
Everyone hugging each other
and finding happiness in the simple life.
- That stuff. My film's about that.
- [woman] What's it called?
- I'll tell you. Bitter Dad.
- [woman] What? Uh-huh.
Bitter Dad. Although,
it's not without a twist or two.
I added a twist.
[woman] Who was in it?
I was in it. I played the father.
- Let's see, also Mami, God rest his soul.
- [man] God rest his soul.
He was, you know, Hızır.
That was his character.
He played Captain Hızır,
my character's friend.
I played the father to all the young ones.
All the young guys were in it.
All the young guys. Feride as well.
It's a great film. You should watch it.
- [woman] We will.
- Watch it first.
- Then we can talk about it.
- [man] Yeah, absolutely.
[theme music playing]
- He's lost it. He's completely lost it!
- [shouting]
Get the Maribu away from him!
Hurry, before he breaks it.
You ruin everything. What a disgrace.
I won't call you my brother!
- I don't have a brother anymore!
- Who cares?
I don't have to take this
from a pornographer.
- You're the pornographer.
- Stop it!
What kind of movies do you make anyway?
- God damn it!
- Hey, hey, I'll cut you!
- Let go. Let go! He's gonna kill me!
- Let's dance!
[Erşan] 7,500.
Honestly, I thought you were paid already.
It's fine. You seem
to think I'm a liar, but whatever.
Hey, listen, if you're gonna fight over
every little thing,
maybe you shouldn't see each other at all.
- It's time you guys made up.
- [Erşan groans]
Yeah, right, he should apologize first,
then promise me
he'll keep helping the homeless.
Still on about the homeless, huh?
Hey, Cemal. I didn't know you'd be here.
Speaking of which,
you got something for me?
- See? The homeless get it all in the end.
- [laughs]
Believe me, the money
they were throwing out there.
30K, 40K, 50K.
It was one hell of a game.
Thank you, brotha! [laughs]
All right, that's the last lira
you're getting. Cemal, get out.
Cemal, for God's sake,
will you just get out of here?
- Good night then.
- Whatever.
Erşan, I don't ask much of you.
Shh! Listen for a moment.
Before you throw your numbers at me,
we could really be something together.
The movies are
just everything you said they would be.
I'm in love with the film business.
I'm deeply, deeply, in love.
I'll see you later.
Tülay, I'm off for now, darling.
If you have any old clothes you don't wear
that you could spare for the needy.
[gasps] I have
a fox fur coat I don't wear.
You do? Is it real fur?
- Of course. What else?
- Oh!
Can I have it now?
The needy could use your support.
I'm already supporting the neediest man
I know, and he won't even let me see it.
[Cemal] I'm sorry. You poor thing.
[exhales]
Start stacking 'em, okay?
We'll spread them out from there.
I've already checked the list. All right.
Let me see.
- There's four more.
- [Erşan] Ah.
Okay, wow.
It's nice, huh? This is nice.
It's all we could find.
At this rate, we're gonna run out
of places to shoot in Istanbul, Erşan.
- All good?
- Yeah, man. Just, uh, the workshop?
If there's a lower floor,
we'll make that the workshop.
Hey, a workshop is easy.
We can shoot that any place.
- Erşan, sir, get a picture?
- Think I can get your autograph maybe?
All right, come here. Come on.
- Payro, can you take a photo of us?
- Yeah, sure, kid.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Okay, then. That's nice.
- Now do a silly one.
Come on, guys.
Leave us alone. We have work to do.
Hey, Erşan.
Here's a karate movie idea for you.
- Foo-King Big Wang. [laughs]
- That's enough, kid. Get out of here.
- [Erşan] We make movies. Try watching one.
- Thanks.
This younger generation
is really something, Erşan.
Like that's my fault?
Erşan, you shooting a movie?
Can I be in it?
Who's your dad, kid?
What do you care who my dad is?
Are you the census?
It's always who you know in this business.
As for the cast, we have Muammer.
We have me.
Cengiz has some guy he's bringing.
- Hey, Cengiz, over here.
- We have Berkun, right?
- Berkun, yeah.
- [Cengiz] Hey.
This is Semih,
the friend I told you about.
Semih. Well, where's the rest of him?
I was expecting more of a he-man.
[laughs] Hello. What's up?
Um, first off, where's my trailer?
Your trailer?
Eh, that's Semih for you.
He expects a trailer.
Who asks about a trailer
before he even reads the script?
Well, Mr. Erşan,
my generation is taking Turkish cinema
to the next level, I think we agree.
To do that, I need a trailer.
Listen, kid, why don't you help move all
this stuff on set? And then we can talk.
Tell you what.
Let's start by putting asses in the seats.
Then you can worry about the next level.
- Let's go.
- Cengiz.
You heard him, kid. Let's move it.
- [Mami] A trailer.
- Come on, get to work.
He knows it's
not an actual trailer, right?
It's a place you can rest between takes.
Hey, you guys, let's face it.
We don't know what we're doing.
[Semih] I don't believe this.
[Cengiz] Come on, man,
don't blow this for me.
[Russian accent] I've had it, son.
You're making me cry.
When are you leaving?
Tomorrow.
Tomorrow? Oh, no. You're leaving now.
Get out of my house, son!
I'm sick of your face.
All right, let's pause.
[normal voice] Semih, on "tomorrow,"
don't throw it away. Really hit it.
[Mami] Erşan, what are you doing?
- Why is the dad Russian all of a sudden?
- Experimenting with the accent.
Erşan, forgive me, sir.
But perhaps the dialect on that line
should sound more like, "Get out
of my house. I am sick of your face!"
- [scoffs] Thanks.
- Who the hell asked him?
Erşan, wait a minute.
If the dad's Russian, why aren't the kids?
That's a little confusing.
I think attempting dialect work
without a dialect coach on set is just,
it goes against all my training.
Cengiz, get Semih in his trailer
before he gets hit.
I'm was just trying something out,
but suddenly everyone's an expert.
I mean, vat the hell are we doing here?
We're rehearsing.
Man, just honor what you wrote.
Let my character have the accent,
while you speak normal.
Fine, let's hear you do it.
[Russian accent] You want accent?
Here you go.
This is how you do Russian accent. Idiot!
Wait, "idiot?"
Idiot is a little much, isn't it?
Yeah, okay, whatever.
Go ahead, man.
Just do the whole thing yourself.
[normal voice]
Erşan, you made my character Russian.
For God's sake,
do you even read what you write?
Why the hell would Hızır have no accent,
but Medet have an accent?
Is Hızır Russian or not?
- Yes.
- There you go.
Yeah, but
All right, screw it.
Nobody does an accent.
Be Albanian.
Albanian. How do you do Albanian?
- Nail the attitude and the rest will come.
- Albanian?
No, man. It won't work.
You just can't do it.
Erşan, you suck. You can trust me.
Oh, I suck? Okay then.
I guess we'll take your word for it,
because apparently, Mami knows everything.
[Mami] That's enough, guys.
Gather around so I can get a picture
of the cast before we get started.
Dad in the middle. I can't pull it off?
Ready? Get in closer.
Yeah, that's it. All right, ready?
Bitter Dad. And
[camera shutter clicks]
There we go.
I really can't be Albanian?
Know-it-all.
MONTAGE INDUSTRIES LLC
Ercan, Gürcan, Özcan, Tercan, hurry up!
Your eggs are getting cold, boys, hurry.
- [Özcan] Morning, Dad.
- Come, boys.
Good morning, Dad.
- Good morning.
- Don't sit there. That's my spot.
Call your big brother.
Would you come out already?
- Come on, man, get out.
- Stop pushing me, you jerk.
- Sit down.
- Can't even read on the can in this house.
Splash of cream, Dad. Gimme an egg.
I said gimme an egg, come on.
- Come on.
- [Ercan] Tea with a splash of cream.
Dad.
- Sit down, son.
- You heard about the cream?
- Yes, son.
- Gimme some, huh?
Oh, yeah. [laughs]
My shirt?
Your shirt, it's all ironed,
but still needs a button.
- Huh?
- [Ercan] I don't like sausages, man.
[Özcan] We do, bro.
Hey, Dad, these two twerps
are skipping school for a field trip.
[chuckles] Really? A field trip?
I'm glad they're going, son.
They never have time to relax.
Anyway, I just need 500 lira.
Really? All right, then. [sighs]
Oh, ho! There you go choosing
your favorite sons again.
Come, I'd never do that. [laughs]
- Here, son.
- Thank you.
Oh, here, have some Çokella. Çokella.
- Çokella.
- If only Çokella could save me.
Is something the matter, son? Tell me.
My boss is giving me hell again.
He's threatening to lay me off.
I just can't take it anymore, Dad.
We all must work, son.
I'm sure you'll stick it out.
I wanna be a boss when I finish college.
- You couldn't finish first grade, man.
- [sons laugh]
Hey, Dad.
I'm meeting my girl later.
Can you throw a little money my way?
Do you love her?
- I love her. I swear.
- [laughs]
She wants to get burgers.
After, I thought I'd show her the park.
5,000 lira should be enough.
- Ah! So, you love her that much?
- Yeah.
- Here, son.
- Good morning!
Captain Hızır, come in.
All right, guys. I'm off. Mwah!
You still have
that rust bucket parked outside.
What happened, Medet?
You said the boys would fix it.
They will. They will.
Sit down, have some tea.
We think it's time to give the car
a funeral, uncle, but he won't agree.
I couldn't.
Not after all we've been through.
- Ah, how are you, Medet?
- Can't complain. [chuckles]
Have some Çokella.
Yeah, what Çokella?
These animals ate it all.
I can see the bottom of the jar.
I'm off too.
Dad, can I have 500 lira?
- [Medet] 500?
- If he gets 500, I should get 1,000.
[laughs] All right, then.
That's all I have.
Good luck at school, my love.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Bye, son.
[Tercan] Outta my way.
[groans] Medet,
if other men saw how you lived here,
they'd go out
and crush their dicks with a stone.
I mean, God, man.
How can you survive with these vultures?
Tell me how you do it, Medet.
No, these boys are my lions,
Hızır, my lions.
[scoffs] Yeah, right. Lions, my ass.
"Gimme 500, Dad. Gimme a thousand."
You could have your own bank.
It still wouldn't be enough.
What can I say?
I'm both a father and a mother to them.
Medet, do what you want with your money.
But doing a woman's job
too long will drive you crazy.
- I'm serious.
- Look, Hızır, I'm fine.
This house needs a woman, Medet.
'Cause looking at you,
I don't like where you're headed.
You're too comfortable
with that iron, my friend. It's scary.
[steam hisses]
Ooh, the poor lady
burned herself! [laughing]
They're everything to me, Captain.
I would burn this world down
if someone hurt a hair on their heads.
Medet, my friend,
you're still not listening to me.
You give them too much.
You're gonna spoil them.
They're all grown-up men,
but none of them is a breadwinner yet.
It's not right, I say.
And this will get you into trouble.
Mark my words.
They say the father bird feeds
his babies until they leave the nest.
Well, these baby birds are shitting
all over your nest, man.
It's time to kick them out.
Master Medet.
Oh, hi, Filiz, come in.
Dolma anyone?
- Ah, from your mother?
- No, I made them.
I just thought of you smelling my oven,
and it excited me. [sighs]
- [Medet] Ah.
- Medet, did you hear what the girl said?
Thank you, dear.
But you can't leave with an empty pot.
I'll send you home with some meatballs.
Oh, no, thanks. I don't need them.
I prefer other meat.
Medet, are you out of your mind?
She was flirting with you, but all you
could talk about was your meatballs,
like you were her aunt.
She wasn't flirting, for God's sake.
That's exactly what she was doing.
The dolma was an excuse.
[sighs] I'm an old man, Captain.
Why would she be flirting with me?
[Hızır] She's a beautiful girl.
You better come to your senses.
[blows]
Ugh, wafers again?
Can't we go
to a pastry shop or something, Ercan?
I can't believe I skipped school for this.
I swear, baby,
as soon as my soccer pool hits,
I'll take you someplace nice.
My father's very upset with me, you know.
He keeps asking me
what I'm doing with a poor guy.
You should have told him.
He's a poor boy with a thick
You can't expect me to say that.
Someday, I'll go to him
and put it right on the table.
You wouldn't.
- The marriage certificate, girl.
- Ah!
Then he'll have no choice but to accept.
One wafer, sir.
Thank you.
- [announcer] They're rounding the corner
- Run, Ironclad! Come on, boy.
- And Luck of the Irish pulls ahead to win.
- Fucking shit.
- He fucked it.
- A stunning upset in the final moments.
God, fucking horse.
I had money on him! [exhales]
When we come back,
we'll look ahead to the other races.
Özcan, gimme a hundred. I'll double down.
Tercan, slow down.
You should give up betting the horses.
Mind your own business.
You're wasting your time, Medet.
This carburetor is fucked beyond hope.
Not yet.
- Medet, hey.
- Aha! There she is again.
Uh, my mom made some extra tulumba.
She said they go down easy.
Oh, thanks. You didn't have to.
Your mother said that?
- Can't turn it on?
- I'm afraid so.
Maybe you need a jump?
Actually, miss, I think there
may be signs of life in it after all.
Oh, Master Medet,
my mother wants to have you over to talk.
It probably has to do with me,
but I'm not sure.
Well, after I feed my boys,
I'll be right over.
I'll have something hot for you.
Why you don't jump on that, I don't get.
If I were you,
I would have done it already.
Hızır, please. She's the neighbor girl.
Hey, Medet.
If you're not hungry,
why don't you let me have those?
- Shame to waste tulumba.
- I'm gonna stab you, Hızır.
Ah, now he acts like a man.
Medet, can't you see
she has the hots for you?
You're even more
of a freak than I thought.
Will you stop it?
I've gotta take the laundry up.
I'm telling you, my friend.
I don't like where you're headed.
This isn't good.
Someone might eat your dessert, Medet.
Oh, please, for heaven's sakes.
[exhales]
Where the hell are they?
- [knock on door]
- Ah! Oh, thank you, Lord.
Where are your brothers? I'm worried sick.
The hell should I know?
- What's for dinner?
- Brown lentils, rice and yogurt.
Great, another night in the army.
- Where have you been?
- My shift just end
- Damn! Stop pushing, bro. God!
- Watch it, jerk.
I was worried sick.
Another day in the books.
I'm hungry. Oh, great, lentils.
What a surprise.
Come on, what do you mean?
It's a delicious meal. Here.
Here, Dad. Ercan.
This son of a bitch here is smoking cigs.
See? Here's the packet.
Özcan, what's that, son?
What am I supposed to do, Dad?
I can't afford cigars, can I? [chuckles]
How was your field trip?
We lost on the very first race.
Easy, moron.
Ercan? Ercan, what's wrong, son?
- Did your girl break up with you? [laughs]
- Shut up.
Tell me. What's troubling you?
Dad, they think I'm poor.
They won't let us marry.
[laughs] Well, we are poor, aren't we?
Might as well say it.
Wouldn't you rather
find a girl who's a bit more like us, son?
Dad, you hear? Gürcan's boss fired him.
- He doesn't even have a job.
- [laughing]
- Gürcan.
- It's true, Dad. He fired me.
But he can't. What's the matter?
- They can't fire my boys!
- Take it easy, Dad.
- He has no business. You hear me?
- [Ercan] Dad, it's okay. Hold on.
- Listen to me. What did he say?
- [Özcan] Don't.
- Dad, Dad, just relax.
- Did he say "you're fired"?
- What did he say?
- Easy. Dad, relax.
I'll go speak to that guy!
I'll teach him his place. You'll see.
Of course, Dad.
Just calm down. It's all right.
[Medet] He can't do this!
- [Tercan] It's okay.
- [Özcan] Take it easy.
Eat. You must be hungry.
[laughing]
The door was open, so I let myself in.
Uh, so my mom made popcorn.
She said, "Go watch TV with Master Medet."
"It'll give you a chance
to fool around under the blanket."
[laughing]
Your mother is very stop laughing.
- We'll start planning for the wedding
- [Ercan] Here you go.
- [woman] Oh, please stop saying wedding.
- [Ercan] Here.
[man laughs] Well, this is it.
Make it count, everyone.
- Come on. Get up there. Go on.
- [woman laughs]
Now throw yourself on the floor hard,
so Dad will hear the thud.
İsmet, give me that knife.
Stop talking about Fikret
and let's go to sleep.
If you saw how miserable
the girl was today
This is making me
wanna blow my brains out.
Just go to sleep. I'm begging you.
How can I go to sleep?
I feel like she could
kill herself any minute now.
[man 2] That's not gonna happen.
[woman 2] Oh, my God. Did you hear that?
[man 2] Hear what, woman?
It's nothing. Go to sleep.
[woman 2] No, no, it's not.
Something terrible happened upstairs.
Go and see.
Me and Ayşe are gonna elope.
I'll bring her here first.
And what are you gonna do?
You really set Dad off.
If he finds out, you're screwed.
He's not really gonna go talk to him.
Come on.
Hey, let me have one of those, huh?
Hold your horses. How's school anyway?
To tell you, he'd have to go,
which he doesn't. [laughs]
What's going on? Are you boys smoking?
No.
Why did you leave me alone with her?
She's fallen asleep.
[Medet] So, now what?
Easy. Let's wrap her up in a rug
like Emel Sayın in that movie.
Ugh, Emel Sayın.
We don't have that kind of rug.
[exhales]
Put her on my back.
Hey, Medet, what are you doing?
She fell asleep, so I'm taking her home.
[exhales]
Don't dump that girl in the garbage.
She's still plenty good.
- [laughing]
- Please, not now.
Oh, Medet, I can't force you to be a man.
[Medet] Mrs. Yıldız!
Mrs. Yıldız.
Mrs. Yıldız.
I have to go, Dad, come on.
Okay, I've just finished, son.
- Here I come.
- Bet on Lighting in that race.
- Lightning? Now, gotta be Zazu.
- No, I'm good.
- [Tercan] Zazu?
- [Özcan] Zazu is an Arabian horse.
- [Tercan] I got a tip.
- [Özcan] That's what you said last time.
- Is that all? I can't believe this!
- Just bet on Lightning.
- Dad.
- Here, Tercan.
- You haven't had breakfast yet.
- That's great, thanks.
- Here, son.
- No money?
Yes, yes, of course. Here you go, son.
There you are.
All right, good luck at school.
- Okay. Thanks, Dad.
- All right, buddy. Bye, son.
Gürcan, you're not going to work?
No, I cannot work
for a man who yells at me.
If you can't take it, then neither can I.
I'll give him a piece of my mind.
But you don't know the address, Dad.
I don't need an address
to know where I'm going.
You'll understand when you're a father.
- [door opens, closes]
- What the fuck is the big deal?
İTİBAR LOGISTICS INC.
I told him, sir.
But he's still refusing to leave.
All right.
I'm sorry, sir,
but Mr. Kani can't see you right now.
Well, I'm not wasting my time with you.
Wait. What are you doing?
I'm a father, damn it.
- You'd better stay back.
- [groans]
What's going on, Jale? Who's this man?
I'm a humble father.
You must be
the mighty Kani on his mountain.
I don't follow.
Gürcan. Gürcan, my eldest son.
The Gürcan that worked hard.
Worked hard so that
you might live a good life
without a care in the world.
So that you can have your fancy cars
and your treasures. He is my son.
Gürcan who? Which department, Jale?
Gürcan, yes. Gürcan.
When he was this big,
looked me in the eye and said,
"I'm gonna be
a pilot someday." That Gürcan.
- Gürcan. Gürcan. What's the last name?
- [Medet] Look, mister.
I'd say this to anyone,
even the mighty Kani on his mountain.
Sir, we've never had an employee
named Gürcan. I assure you.
Gürcan Tırmıkçı.
Gürcan Tırmıkçı.
There's only Güven İntepe here.
And Gökmen Paker, no Gürcans.
Look. Gürcan.
Look again. Gürcan.
Only just find his name.
Please, sir. We've never employed him.
[panting] No, I won't let you crush them.
No one crushes my children.
I won't allow
- [gasps]
- [Medet grunts]
Anyone to crush my children. [groans]
- Oh, my God!
- Mr. Kani, he fainted.
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm, there it is. Catatonia.
Also, his vitals look strange.
Tell me, doctor. Is it bad?
Well, look, just because it's the '80s
doesn't mean you have to be fucking
[grunts]smoke all goddamn day.
This is a fucking hospital.
His body suffered a complete collapse.
Is he overly unselfish?
- Way over.
- Hmm. Mm-hmm. Always giving.
Never taking.
You said he has kids.
Four grown sons,
they're healthy as horses.
Let me guess. He's been acting
as both a mother and a father to his boys.
And it's been going this way for years.
I'm confident that
if we searched Master Medet's body
for even a single drop of testosterone,
we'd come up short.
What's testosterone?
Hmm, a sex hormone and anabolic steroid.
His overly unselfish personality
has gradually transformed his body.
At this point, he is basically a mother.
His brain has switched
into a protective and defensive stance.
Doctors call this pia mater disease.
In ancient Latin, you see, pia mater
simply means "easygoing mother."
Looking at his chart,
his tubules look fine.
Spermatogenesis is, however, not there.
Meaning?
Meaning, sir
[inhales] How would
I describe it to a layman?
His testicles are
basically just ornamental.
Oh, doctor, I told him.
"Medet, you've got to take responsibility
and start taking care of yourself."
And look where he is now.
Those boys are my children.
I'm both a father and a mother to them.
Oh, my God.
I've never seen this before.
Doctor, why is there light coming
from his head?
Get him the fuck out.
You're going to get me in trouble.
Perihan!
Thanks to you,
I'll get all the fucking spooky cases now.
Perihan! Nurse Perihan!
[Hızır] This is all your fault.
The doctor said he may be crazy.
The light coming from his head is
from too much kindness.
[Gürcan] Dad. Dad?
Can you hear us in there, Dad?
Özcan, Tercan,
Gürcan, Ercan.
Come on, boys, go to your rooms.
You need to sleep early, son.
All right, boys, good luck at school.
It was all for my children.
You see that? He's cooked.
Maybe there's a switch that turns it off?
No way. I checked him everywhere.
What now?
Look, see what you pricks have done
to this poor man? Are you happy? Huh?
You assholes should be ashamed.
They are my children.
Master Medet, my mother said
that if I fall asleep this time,
you don't have to
take me back until [gasps]
- What happened to Master Medet?
- There's light coming out of his head.
The doctor said it's
from too much kindness.
Oh, I hope not. I'm shy. I don't
like doing it when they can see me.
- [groans]
- Dear, I don't think now is the time.
I'm both a father and a mother to them.
Wait, Dad. Do you know who I am?
- Ercan?
- See my fingers? How many are there?
Here's 5,000 lira for you, son.
Five hundred for your brother
and a thousand for the rest.
Tercan, get dressed
in some warmer clothes for me.
Anything for my children.
Hold on, I have an idea.
Uğur Dündar. Let get Dad on TV.
No way. Screw you.
We'll all look like fools.
Come on, man, we'll be famous.
That's true.
I mean, how many people in the world
have a light coming out of their heads?
People would pay good money to see him.
We could sell them tickets, huh?
No way, bro, that's too much.
But maybe we can set up a tent
for him in the park somewhere.
We call him something like
"The Amazing Light-up Dad"
and charge 500 lira for a picture.
Yeah, good idea.
A picture and to shake his hand.
Listen, bro. We could
print up a huge poster of him.
Then Özcan and I
could drive around with it,
and I could make a big announcement.
If we're on Uğur Dündar's show,
we won't need any of that.
Tut! So you're going to
trot your father out
like some kind of dancing monkey, huh?
I see what kind of sons you are.
Medet, I'm leaving now. I'm sorry.
I hoped you'd come
to your senses, but it's too late.
Only God can help you now, my friend.
Mind your own business, Captain Hızır.
He's our father,
and we know what's best for him.
- He's trying to get in, share the profits.
- Exactly.
You all must have inherited your evil.
Must have been from your mother's side.
I hated that damn woman.
- [door opens, closes]
- So, that light stays on all night?
I mean, that's kind of a waste, huh?
Hey, Filiz, why don't you go back home?
- You really want me to go?
- Yeah, we do. Go on. Get.
- Go on.
- Oh, well, if you say so, I guess.
- [door opens, closes]
- [groans]
You know Medet, Master Medet?
He has this light coming out of his head.
- [man] Hey, Uğur Dündar's here, people!
- [cheering]
Baki, you're getting this?
Good evening, everyone.
We're coming to you now
from the west side of Istanbul.
Tonight, we bring you
the case of Medet Tırmıkçı.
Respected, beloved
and recently illuminated father,
while his neighbors
look on with their prying eyes.
- I'll be speaking to him shortly.
- [woman] Uğur, go into the house.
- Go in there! Go in there.
- Go and see him.
See? They're prying vultures.
We're going inside.
[man 2] Bravo! All right!
Hi, this is Uğur Dündar.
Mind opening the door, please?
Open the door, please, sir.
Uğur Dündar's here.
Would you please open the door, gentlemen?
Don't open it.
- Not yet.
- [knock on door]
[Uğur] Open the door, please.
Hey, bro, we should open it.
No, no, wait for my signal.
Get ready. [sighs]
- [sustained beep]
- I don't give a fuck who you are!
- [grunts] No more.
- [Tercan] Uğur! Uğur, please, no!
Would you open the door please, gentlemen?
- Man, Uğur Dündar is right outside.
- Open the door, babe.
- [men shouting]
- No, no, no!
All right, open it. Open it.
[Uğur] Follow me, Baki.
I fucking said please, didn't I?
Welcome, sir.
Come over here. Baki.
Well, ladies and gentlemen,
Medet's sons were kind enough
to let us in,
and in a moment, we'll hear their story.
Cut, Baki.
You think it's funny
to leave a guy standing outside?
Huh?
Go get me a glass of water.
- Come, Baki.
- [snaps fingers] Water. Hurry.
First question. Will you please tell us,
was he a good father?
Of course he was. Absolutely.
This light thing is a little unusual.
But it's only 'cause he loves too much.
And as his sons, we put in a lot
of work to, you know, live up to him.
- You're a student, aren't you?
- I'm a student too. We both are, Uğur.
For my next few questions,
I'd like to focus on Medet himself,
if I may.
Tell me, Master Medet.
You have bugs.
Our old man is the housekeeper,
and maybe, I guess he missed it.
I see.
Master Medet, how are you feeling?
Oh, boy, I'm just great.
I'm just so thankful to have my family.
Beyond that, what more could any man want?
Your sons must be a help.
Sir, I pray everyone could be
blessed to have kids like mine.
So, Master Medet,
what do you make of this light thing?
All I can say is that this is good.
It really is.
Thank you, sir. That's a wrap, everyone.
Next week, hopefully we'll be back
with more interesting topics. Cut, Baki.
Goodbye, then, gentlemen.
Wait, wait a minute, Uğur. Wait.
Do you think we could get paid
for this interview?
I feel like we've given you
a valuable story.
Hell no.
And next time I knock,
you open up and don't piss me off.
- Yes, sir.
- Let's go, Baki.
THE RADIATING BITTER FATHER PHOTO
Hi, sir, welcome.
- One picture.
- Sure thing.
- Hey, did he pay?
- One ticket for this guy.
Okay. Here you go.
- Are they good? Psst.
- And how are you?
Yeah, send them in.
They're good. Let's go.
- A ticket for this lady.
- Okay. Here you go.
Stand over here, please. One minute.
- Hey there, Namık. Welcome.
- Cool, man.
- How's your wife?
- She's all right.
Be sure to give her my best, okay?
- [Tercan] We're ready.
- This way.
- Yes. Welcome, sir.
- [Özcan] Two can go.
- Wait here, please.
- A ticket for this guy.
When you get inside, please be quick
so you all have a chance to see him.
Just take your picture and move along.
- Give him a ticket.
- Enjoy.
- There you are. Here you go. Here.
- Thank you.
- How's it going?
- Good, good.
- How many copies?
- When can I get them?
In a couple of days. Look, look.
We'll have 'em here looking like this.
You wanted to know if you could
see the light. You totally can.
- It's visible, yeah.
- See?
- You think we're frauds or something?
- Four copies, please.
- All right.
- Four copies. Got it.
Hey, Dad, look here.
- That's it. Keep your eyes open.
- [camera shutter clicks]
- [Tercan] Hurry up! Let's go, people.
- Oh, Filiz is coming.
What do you say?
Can I get my picture taken?
- Sure, Filiz, if you wanna buy a ticket.
- You and you!
Filiz, if you don't mind,
the line starts back there.
- If you would.
- Thanks so much.
No problem.
- Don't block up traffic.
- [Tercan] All right.
All right, try to keep your eyes open.
Get a little closer.
- Maybe just a little bit more. Okay, and
- [camera shutter clicks]
Got it.
[man] Okay, thank you very much.
Hey, sorry, guys, we're done for the day.
Our dad's tired.
Same time tomorrow. Sorry.
11,500.
How'd we do?
11,500.
11,500. Even the meatball guy
made more than that.
Don't worry about it. What's Dad doing?
He's not sleeping.
He's just sitting there.
- Is he all right?
- Yeah.
Just leave him alone.
I came by to see my friend.
We're closed for the day.
Come back tomorrow, and you
can buy a ticket to see your friend.
- My. So it's come to that?
- Yeah.
All right, then.
Please.
Please.
Can you believe that guy?
- Old people, am I right?
- I know, man.
- Get a life, dude.
- Who is that?
Ercan, right?
Yes, ma'am. Can I help you?
Devran Döndü.
You said that we could talk.
Oh, of course. Sure.
Unbelievable. It's an actual light.
- Will it stay on all day long?
- Of course.
Master Medet, we at Diday Publishing
are interested in making
an exclusive deal with you.
We'd like to publish a book
about your life,
as well as purchase
exclusive rights to any film sale.
We would also include the right
to sell what the Americans call
"merchandise" in the deal as well.
Merve, the check.
This is a 50-million-lira project.
Fucking A! Uh, sorry.
Excuse the language, Dad.
And your name was Devran, dear?
That's right.
My children here were selling tickets
to people outside who wanted to see me.
I see. This would be different.
For 35 years,
I've been both a father
and a mother to them, for years.
Then this extraordinary thing happened.
I've never asked anything for myself.
They've always been my entire life.
Then you deserve this. Fifty million.
[chuckles]
[Gürcan] Come on, take it.
I wonder, Devran, could this be made out
in my children's names?
I'm sorry. I'm afraid not.
Merve, the contract.
Just put your signature
right there on the bottom.
And that's all there is to it?
That's right.
- Ercan.
- What is it, Dad?
Gürcan, Tercan, Özcan.
- We're listening, Dad.
- What is it, Daddy?
Can you ever put a price
on a parent's love?
- [Ercan] You can't, Dad.
- That's right. You can't.
You couldn't even measure it.
We try.
This is really 50 million lira?
It is.
Well, good luck then.
- Dad?
- Dad?
- Dad?
- Daddy? Where'd he go? Where is he?
- [Gürcan] He just disappeared.
- [Özcan] Where the hell is he?
- Dad. Dad!
- What the hell's going on?
- Dad, where are you?
- Oh, my God!
- Somebody help!
- [brothers shouting] Dad! Dad!
[Özcan] Wait! He's not here.
[brothers shouting] Dad! Dad! Dad!
Where the hell did he go?
Where the hell did he go?
Dad, where are you?
- [crying]
- [shouting]
[crying, shouting continue]
[Hızır] After that night,
Master Medet was never seen again.
They published a book about him.
Made a movie.
But no one saw Master Medet.
The boys were miserable.
They sold that rust bucket
and moved out of the neighborhood.
I took over the carpenter's workshop.
Just minding my own business.
Until one day
Uh, Captain Hızır?
[Hızır] "Hızır, I'm writing to you
from the Maldives."
"I feel great, and my hormones
are getting back to normal."
"I'm grateful to my sons for giving me
the chance to live this life."
"If it weren't for them,
I never would've seen the light."
"And I certainly wouldn't be here."
"If you see those bastards,
tell them to drink plenty of water
and that they
should accept their parents."
"With light and love,
I wish you the best. Medet."
BITTER FATHER
It's a bestseller, huh?
The best.
[laughing]
We should celebrate.
Yeah, maybe even later in the room.
- [snaps fingers]
- [laughing]
[laughs]
[chuckles]
[sighs]
[groans]
[sighs, chuckles]
[both laughing]
- [Medet laughing] This is great.
- [sighs]
[both laughing]
THE END
[theme music playing]