The Real Ghostbusters (1986) s02e05 Episode Script
They Call Me Mister Slimer
1
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Oh, guys!
Can I see you for a sec?
Yeah, Janine, what is it?
The monthly financial report.
Once again, gentlemen, we're in the red.
We're losing money on overheads,
payment maintenance,
damage to property, utilities, food.
Slimer, knock it off.
Yeah, you're eatin' us out of house
and home and into the poor house.
Who, me?
Yeah, you.
All you do is eat and take.
And what do you give in return, huh?
I ask ya.
Um
Yeah.
Yikes.
There's your answer, Peter.
He gives us love.
To you, he gives love.
To me, he gives ectoplasmic noogies
and a great case for
a justifiable slimercide.
Honestly, Dr. Venkman,
just give Slimer a chance,
and he'll earn his keep.
We'll find things for him to do.
You know, you're right, Janine.
You're absolutely right.
We can find little do-ey
things for him. Right, Slimer?
We'll start right now.
Can you make yourself real small?
Real small?
Good. Now we put you in an envelop
and we mail you to this guy
I knew from college.
He just loves jokes.
Peter.
No, Slimer.
No, stay!
Boy, Ray, we finally
find something for Slimer to do to help us
and you won't let him.
Some friend you are.
But, Slimer, I
Peter, we
Janine, which God did I offend?
I wouldn't know, Dr. Stantz.
I just answer the phone.
Just a little more.
A little farther.
Whoa, whoa, oops.
Come on. Just a bit more.
Well, well, what do you know?
It's the mouse.
Uh, hi guys.
What do you got there, mouse?
Oh, I justComics, magazines, you know?
Magazines, huh?
What do you got?
I've got Fantastic Monsters of Filmworld.
Sci-Fi Times, The Frankenstein Papers.
Oh, Frankenstein, huh?
Big stuff.
Hey, here's your Frankenstein.
Boo!
What a jerk!
Knocking him down ain't even a challenge.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Blast those guys.
Someday I swear I'll
Oh, nuts, who am I trying to kid?
They're too big
and there's too many of them.
There's always too many.
Oh, well
At least they're gone.
Guess it can't get any worse.
Nice doggy, nice.
Nice doggy.
Help!
Gee, thanks a lot. I, uh
Say, you're a ghost, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm a ghost.
Well, you don't have to worry
about me being scared.
I've read about ghosts and monsters
as long as I can remember.
You're OK in my book.
And you're sure a heck of a lot better
than the guys who just left.
Man, I'd love to see you do this to them.
Boy, I'd pay to see that.
Heck, I'd pay just to make sure
they stop picking on me.
Come here, you.
What, you're saying you'll do it?
You'll be my bodyguard?
Well, my body-ghost?
Mister, you've got yourself a deal.
My name's Mike.
And I'm real glad to meet you.
Coast's clear. Come on.
This is my room. Pretty neat, huh?
Yeah.
- Boy, this is gonna be great. Pow!
- Pow!
-Oomph. Bash.
-Bash.
There's six of them.
Hey, come on out of there.
You can't do this to me.
I'm paying good money for this, remember?
OK.
What are you nervous about?
You're a ghost, they'll be scared of you.
All you have to do is look scary.
You can look scary, can't you?
That's it, huh? Oh, boy.
I know, hang on a sec.
Hey.
I know it's gotta be here somewhere.
By the way, be careful of the stacks.
The magazines aren't balanced very well.
Ah, here it is!
OK, when I say look scary,
I mean can you look like this?
This is gonna take a while.
Where is he?
I don't know, Dr. Stantz.
You had him last.
Slimer.
Dr. Venkman, have you seen Slimer?
No. Wonderful, isn't it?
What do you say, Rick?
What do you wanna do?
I don't know. Give me a sec.
I'll think of something.
And there goes something now.
Come on.
How about we have some laughs, huh?
Hey, mouse,
what's the idea of running like that?
I don't like to run.
You think you're fast or something?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
What are you playing deaf?
I'm warning you,
don't go getting smart with me.
That shouldn't be too hard, Rick.
I've seen rocks smarter than you.
What?
OK, jerk, that's it.
What's that?
Must beMust be some kinda dog.
Hey, what the
Good work. I knew you could do it.
And don't come back, you creeps.
Whatever that thing is,
if it works for Mike,
I ain't going nowhere near him.
What are you nuts?
He called me a creep.
He called all of us creeps.
You gonna stand for that?
Well, I'm not and you're not, either.
'Cause believe me,
you better be more scared of me
than you are of that thing,
whatever it is.
'Cause when I'm done
with Mike the mouse and his pet
you can bet he's gonna be
real scared of me.
Yeah, real scared.
I don't like it,
Slimer's been gone too long.
I agree, this isn't like him.
He was supposed to be here
so I could run some
electro thermal tests on him.
Right, Egon.
I can't think of a single reason
why I'd wanna miss out on that.
But he's never disappeared for this long.
I say we go after him.
Nice theory, Ray.
But where we gonna start looking?
New York's a big town you know.
Hey, guys,
look what just came in the mail.
An envelope full of money.
Money, huh?
Who'd be sending us
an envelope full of money?
Just off hand,
I'd say Slimer was
a pretty good possibility, wouldn't you?
Oh, yuck!
That's Slimer's ectoplasm, all right.
But there's no return address.
No problem.
See, there's the zip code
of the post office that picked it up.
We'll start there. Come on.
You know, you have to wonder
why Slimer would send us money.
You'd think somebody here told him
he has to earn his keep or something.
OK. Fine. So I'm the goad,
I'm the piss, I'm slime,
dust beneath thy feet.
Satisfied now?
I hate it when they do that.
I don't know, Rick,
I don't think this is such a great idea.
Don't be a wimp.
Just give me a hand with this, will ya?
All right, come on.
Yeah, this is the place.
My dad used to tell me stories about
how they closed down
this part of the subway years ago.
Said there were all
kinds of creepy things living down here.
Maybe just what
we need to take care of that jerk Mike.
Yeah, well, what makes you think
any of them will come work for us?
Hey, don't worry.
They'll like me 'cause I'm tough.
You'll see.
Rick.
I told you we shouldn't have come.
I told you we shouldn't have come.
-I told you
-Quiet!
Let me think.
OK, uh, listen up.
My name's Rick
and you're gonna come work for me.
Whoa!
They're just trying to scare us.
Well, they're doing a good job.
How do you expect these things
to come back with us
if they think we're a bunch of wimps.
You say come back with you?
Yeah, that's right.
Come back with us.
Come back to outside?
Up above world?
It's trap.
You trick us.
No! Honest, no trick.
We want you to come with us.
Work with us, it'll be great. You'll see.
Then you must invite us.
Say it.
Speak words.
Is that all?
OK, sure.
We're inviting you to come up
to the up above world.
OK?
Fine. Just fine.
Well, this is the right area.
But still no sign of Slimer.
Gee, Ray, then I guess
that means we'll have to go home.
Peter, we've only been looking 10 minutes.
Really? How time flies
when you're not with Slimer.
I'm registering
a broad based increase
in psycho-kinetic energy in this area.
Could be related to
Slimer's disappearance.
Can you get a fix on it?
Afraid not.
It's a general jump.
Too diffused to focus in on.
Give me a few minutes to recalibrate
and we'll see what happens.
You heard the man,
once more around the park, James.
You know, Peter,
a little of you goes a long way.
Just trying to help.
-Psst.
-Oh, what do you want?
Listen, we figured, anybody
who can get a ghost to work for him
is OK in our book.
You wanna hang out with us?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it's true
I don't have a lot of friends but
Well, then, come on. It'll be great.
He could be
telling the truth, but maybe not.
You circle around back.
If I need you, you know what to do.
Aye-aye.
Hello.
Hey, come on, where is everybody?
Funny. Real funny.
Look, don't make me or my buddy get rough.
Remember what happened last time?
Oh, we remember
what happened last time, all right.
That's why we got us
some buddies of our own.
Don't be bashful, mouse, say hello.
Nothing to say?
OK, fine.
Buddies, teach the mouse here
what it means to mess with us.
Well, come on.
Snap to it.
You're working for me now.
No, we don't work for you.
You have served us.
We used you to come to above world.
Wait a minute!
You can't do this to me. You
You
May I make a suggestion?
- Yeah.
- Run!
Got that thing adjusted yet, Egon?
Yes, we're getting
close to the source of the disturbance.
Closer. Closer.
Nice going, Egon.
Couldn't have found him without you.
I think he's trying to say something.
Maybe he wants to check the oil.
What is it, Slimer, what's wrong?
Trouble, guys. Sound like
we've got barrow-wights.
What's a barrow-wight?
Barrow-wights, Peter,
are supernatural creatures
rather like trolls.
They live underground in nests.
They can't come out
unless someone invites them.
Right. Just like vampires.
They can't come into your home
unless you ask them in.
And someone's just set a bunch of
barrow-wights loose in New York.
You can understand that?
Hey, you grow up
watching Lassie movies you'll learn, OK.
Slimer, wait! Where are you going?
Never mind him, Ray.
I think we're gonna have
more than enough to keep us busy inside.
Let them have it.
Get back, man, get back.
Hey!
Man, am I glad to see you. Get them.
What can he do against them?
Look at him, he's scareder than we are.
Oh, yeah?
Chicken!
Ghostbusters ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Here she comes.
And
Now!
That got it.
Not quite. Come on.
Look out!
OK.
OK, we're here.
Who brought the chips and dips?
I am never doing this ever again.
Truce?
You got it.
Guess I'm just a force
for good in our times.
Yes, Peter.
But then he came back
and fought off those things
until you found us.
Not bad for a spud, eh, Peter?
Especially after
all he's been through
to prove himself to us, and you.
Yeah, the little guy
is worth his weight in gold.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
Brass maybe, or tin, maybe paper.
Or for that matter
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, yeah?
Slimer, I'm warning you!
Hey!
Watch it! Whoops.
You!
I take it back, all right.
I take it back.
I'd say that makes
for a perfect day, wouldn't you?
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something strange
In the neighborhood ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
There's something weird
And it don't look good ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
I ain't afraid of no ghost ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Who you going to call? ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Oh, guys!
Can I see you for a sec?
Yeah, Janine, what is it?
The monthly financial report.
Once again, gentlemen, we're in the red.
We're losing money on overheads,
payment maintenance,
damage to property, utilities, food.
Slimer, knock it off.
Yeah, you're eatin' us out of house
and home and into the poor house.
Who, me?
Yeah, you.
All you do is eat and take.
And what do you give in return, huh?
I ask ya.
Um
Yeah.
Yikes.
There's your answer, Peter.
He gives us love.
To you, he gives love.
To me, he gives ectoplasmic noogies
and a great case for
a justifiable slimercide.
Honestly, Dr. Venkman,
just give Slimer a chance,
and he'll earn his keep.
We'll find things for him to do.
You know, you're right, Janine.
You're absolutely right.
We can find little do-ey
things for him. Right, Slimer?
We'll start right now.
Can you make yourself real small?
Real small?
Good. Now we put you in an envelop
and we mail you to this guy
I knew from college.
He just loves jokes.
Peter.
No, Slimer.
No, stay!
Boy, Ray, we finally
find something for Slimer to do to help us
and you won't let him.
Some friend you are.
But, Slimer, I
Peter, we
Janine, which God did I offend?
I wouldn't know, Dr. Stantz.
I just answer the phone.
Just a little more.
A little farther.
Whoa, whoa, oops.
Come on. Just a bit more.
Well, well, what do you know?
It's the mouse.
Uh, hi guys.
What do you got there, mouse?
Oh, I justComics, magazines, you know?
Magazines, huh?
What do you got?
I've got Fantastic Monsters of Filmworld.
Sci-Fi Times, The Frankenstein Papers.
Oh, Frankenstein, huh?
Big stuff.
Hey, here's your Frankenstein.
Boo!
What a jerk!
Knocking him down ain't even a challenge.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Blast those guys.
Someday I swear I'll
Oh, nuts, who am I trying to kid?
They're too big
and there's too many of them.
There's always too many.
Oh, well
At least they're gone.
Guess it can't get any worse.
Nice doggy, nice.
Nice doggy.
Help!
Gee, thanks a lot. I, uh
Say, you're a ghost, aren't you?
Yeah, I'm a ghost.
Well, you don't have to worry
about me being scared.
I've read about ghosts and monsters
as long as I can remember.
You're OK in my book.
And you're sure a heck of a lot better
than the guys who just left.
Man, I'd love to see you do this to them.
Boy, I'd pay to see that.
Heck, I'd pay just to make sure
they stop picking on me.
Come here, you.
What, you're saying you'll do it?
You'll be my bodyguard?
Well, my body-ghost?
Mister, you've got yourself a deal.
My name's Mike.
And I'm real glad to meet you.
Coast's clear. Come on.
This is my room. Pretty neat, huh?
Yeah.
- Boy, this is gonna be great. Pow!
- Pow!
-Oomph. Bash.
-Bash.
There's six of them.
Hey, come on out of there.
You can't do this to me.
I'm paying good money for this, remember?
OK.
What are you nervous about?
You're a ghost, they'll be scared of you.
All you have to do is look scary.
You can look scary, can't you?
That's it, huh? Oh, boy.
I know, hang on a sec.
Hey.
I know it's gotta be here somewhere.
By the way, be careful of the stacks.
The magazines aren't balanced very well.
Ah, here it is!
OK, when I say look scary,
I mean can you look like this?
This is gonna take a while.
Where is he?
I don't know, Dr. Stantz.
You had him last.
Slimer.
Dr. Venkman, have you seen Slimer?
No. Wonderful, isn't it?
What do you say, Rick?
What do you wanna do?
I don't know. Give me a sec.
I'll think of something.
And there goes something now.
Come on.
How about we have some laughs, huh?
Hey, mouse,
what's the idea of running like that?
I don't like to run.
You think you're fast or something?
Hey, I'm talking to you.
What are you playing deaf?
I'm warning you,
don't go getting smart with me.
That shouldn't be too hard, Rick.
I've seen rocks smarter than you.
What?
OK, jerk, that's it.
What's that?
Must beMust be some kinda dog.
Hey, what the
Good work. I knew you could do it.
And don't come back, you creeps.
Whatever that thing is,
if it works for Mike,
I ain't going nowhere near him.
What are you nuts?
He called me a creep.
He called all of us creeps.
You gonna stand for that?
Well, I'm not and you're not, either.
'Cause believe me,
you better be more scared of me
than you are of that thing,
whatever it is.
'Cause when I'm done
with Mike the mouse and his pet
you can bet he's gonna be
real scared of me.
Yeah, real scared.
I don't like it,
Slimer's been gone too long.
I agree, this isn't like him.
He was supposed to be here
so I could run some
electro thermal tests on him.
Right, Egon.
I can't think of a single reason
why I'd wanna miss out on that.
But he's never disappeared for this long.
I say we go after him.
Nice theory, Ray.
But where we gonna start looking?
New York's a big town you know.
Hey, guys,
look what just came in the mail.
An envelope full of money.
Money, huh?
Who'd be sending us
an envelope full of money?
Just off hand,
I'd say Slimer was
a pretty good possibility, wouldn't you?
Oh, yuck!
That's Slimer's ectoplasm, all right.
But there's no return address.
No problem.
See, there's the zip code
of the post office that picked it up.
We'll start there. Come on.
You know, you have to wonder
why Slimer would send us money.
You'd think somebody here told him
he has to earn his keep or something.
OK. Fine. So I'm the goad,
I'm the piss, I'm slime,
dust beneath thy feet.
Satisfied now?
I hate it when they do that.
I don't know, Rick,
I don't think this is such a great idea.
Don't be a wimp.
Just give me a hand with this, will ya?
All right, come on.
Yeah, this is the place.
My dad used to tell me stories about
how they closed down
this part of the subway years ago.
Said there were all
kinds of creepy things living down here.
Maybe just what
we need to take care of that jerk Mike.
Yeah, well, what makes you think
any of them will come work for us?
Hey, don't worry.
They'll like me 'cause I'm tough.
You'll see.
Rick.
I told you we shouldn't have come.
I told you we shouldn't have come.
-I told you
-Quiet!
Let me think.
OK, uh, listen up.
My name's Rick
and you're gonna come work for me.
Whoa!
They're just trying to scare us.
Well, they're doing a good job.
How do you expect these things
to come back with us
if they think we're a bunch of wimps.
You say come back with you?
Yeah, that's right.
Come back with us.
Come back to outside?
Up above world?
It's trap.
You trick us.
No! Honest, no trick.
We want you to come with us.
Work with us, it'll be great. You'll see.
Then you must invite us.
Say it.
Speak words.
Is that all?
OK, sure.
We're inviting you to come up
to the up above world.
OK?
Fine. Just fine.
Well, this is the right area.
But still no sign of Slimer.
Gee, Ray, then I guess
that means we'll have to go home.
Peter, we've only been looking 10 minutes.
Really? How time flies
when you're not with Slimer.
I'm registering
a broad based increase
in psycho-kinetic energy in this area.
Could be related to
Slimer's disappearance.
Can you get a fix on it?
Afraid not.
It's a general jump.
Too diffused to focus in on.
Give me a few minutes to recalibrate
and we'll see what happens.
You heard the man,
once more around the park, James.
You know, Peter,
a little of you goes a long way.
Just trying to help.
-Psst.
-Oh, what do you want?
Listen, we figured, anybody
who can get a ghost to work for him
is OK in our book.
You wanna hang out with us?
Well, I don't know.
I mean, it's true
I don't have a lot of friends but
Well, then, come on. It'll be great.
He could be
telling the truth, but maybe not.
You circle around back.
If I need you, you know what to do.
Aye-aye.
Hello.
Hey, come on, where is everybody?
Funny. Real funny.
Look, don't make me or my buddy get rough.
Remember what happened last time?
Oh, we remember
what happened last time, all right.
That's why we got us
some buddies of our own.
Don't be bashful, mouse, say hello.
Nothing to say?
OK, fine.
Buddies, teach the mouse here
what it means to mess with us.
Well, come on.
Snap to it.
You're working for me now.
No, we don't work for you.
You have served us.
We used you to come to above world.
Wait a minute!
You can't do this to me. You
You
May I make a suggestion?
- Yeah.
- Run!
Got that thing adjusted yet, Egon?
Yes, we're getting
close to the source of the disturbance.
Closer. Closer.
Nice going, Egon.
Couldn't have found him without you.
I think he's trying to say something.
Maybe he wants to check the oil.
What is it, Slimer, what's wrong?
Trouble, guys. Sound like
we've got barrow-wights.
What's a barrow-wight?
Barrow-wights, Peter,
are supernatural creatures
rather like trolls.
They live underground in nests.
They can't come out
unless someone invites them.
Right. Just like vampires.
They can't come into your home
unless you ask them in.
And someone's just set a bunch of
barrow-wights loose in New York.
You can understand that?
Hey, you grow up
watching Lassie movies you'll learn, OK.
Slimer, wait! Where are you going?
Never mind him, Ray.
I think we're gonna have
more than enough to keep us busy inside.
Let them have it.
Get back, man, get back.
Hey!
Man, am I glad to see you. Get them.
What can he do against them?
Look at him, he's scareder than we are.
Oh, yeah?
Chicken!
Ghostbusters ♪
Ghostbusters ♪
Here she comes.
And
Now!
That got it.
Not quite. Come on.
Look out!
OK.
OK, we're here.
Who brought the chips and dips?
I am never doing this ever again.
Truce?
You got it.
Guess I'm just a force
for good in our times.
Yes, Peter.
But then he came back
and fought off those things
until you found us.
Not bad for a spud, eh, Peter?
Especially after
all he's been through
to prove himself to us, and you.
Yeah, the little guy
is worth his weight in gold.
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
Brass maybe, or tin, maybe paper.
Or for that matter
You wouldn't dare.
Oh, yeah?
Slimer, I'm warning you!
Hey!
Watch it! Whoops.
You!
I take it back, all right.
I take it back.
I'd say that makes
for a perfect day, wouldn't you?