The Real L Word s02e05 Episode Script
It's About To Get Juicy
Previously on The Real L Word I love you.
It was such a beautiful night, and, like, ended in a fuckin' mess.
I'm about to leave.
Chanel, shut the fuck up! I know what I'm doing! I'm pretty nervous.
I just don't want it to be over, you know? I mean, if we're gonna have a real make up, we need to make up.
I'm always like, "I'm ready to fuck.
" Like but, um I'm ready.
Knockin' 'em back before we get knocked up! Now that we bought the sperm, this is gonna be it for however long it takes us to conceive.
Whoo-whoo! Having the baby! Cori has to quit drinking, quit smoking.
Time is ticking.
- Bye, bitches! - Bye! I love you so much! Don't wanna be working the rest of my life in retail.
Is there something I can do that is more creative? - I think you're drunk.
- No, I'm not.
It's hard, because I'm sober, and Kelsey is going to continue drinking.
Okay, I'm drunk.
How are we gonna do this? I miss you.
I miss you too.
Walk in the front door, and the first thing she does is call her ex-girlfriend.
Francine, both of you know what I'm doing.
So that's why I'm taking myself out of the situation.
Okay? I really love both of them, but you can't have everything you want.
I have been pretty patient with your bullshit.
Vivian, it's like, everyone keeps saying that to me.
Let's make this the last conversation.
I love you.
You don't have to say it back.
I know.
Rachel definitely made a move on me.
Come here.
She just is flirting with the idea that if we're just friends then we can still kind of hook up.
I think Rachel is feeling a little left in the dust because Whitney gets wrapped up in Sara.
Sara denies seeing Erica, but she's not honest about it.
So let's just cut our ties.
That means I'm single as hell.
Ball's flying at your head.
She loves balls flying at her head.
It's a gorgeous day in L.
A.
, and my friend is throwing a pool party.
There is very attractive girls, chicken fights, food, drinks I am done with the back and forth with Sara.
Like, I need a new relationship, new love I am so done with that flip-flop action.
And I've said it's done many times, but I'll tell you right now, there's a switch that flips, and, like, it's been clicked to the off position.
When I was a freshman I was dating a senior guy, and I went to his prom, and his best friend's girlfriend was not from the same school, and I wasn't from the same school, and we started talking at dinner and bonding.
And, like, we snuck off to the bathroom and, like, ended up hooking up and, like, sleeping over at each ether's house and, like, ditching our boyfriends, and they were pissed! - Oh, I'm sure.
- Right? So how did you realize you were gay? Shall I another one? I don't think she is gay.
Are you? I hate that question.
It's like, I don't I don't know what I am.
You're like, "labels are for jars.
" I don't think I need to choose.
- Like, I don't - Totally.
I get it.
People put so much pressure on, like, are you gay or are you not gay? - I don't know.
I'm still young.
- I love it.
Like, I have a lot to figure out still, you know? - How old are you? - I'm only 19.
Oh, wow.
You are young.
Mel is super cute.
I'm kind of getting that sense that she has a little thing for me.
But she is young.
Like, not underage young.
Like, over over the age.
But I don't know how much girl experience she has, and it's kind of, like, intriguing.
I'm not gonna lie.
Let go of me! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Aah! I know that I'm gonna be ovulating in two weeks.
So I'm gonna be taking the test every morning.
And so when I get the smiley face, I just call you? Right.
When you get the smiley face, you call.
And if I'm not getting a smiley face, you'll have us come in to see what's going on? Yes.
So I was recommended a great ob/gyn, and Kacy and I went to go talk to her and figure out, you know, what's next.
You need to have the specimens.
They only had three vials available, so how many do we ship? We only need two for this cycle.
Okay.
But if you were to try a second cycle if you needed a second cycle, which you very well may Mm-hmm.
Then you might need extra vials.
Oh! When you inseminate her in the office, - you use two of them? - Right.
Or do you do it on two different days? We do it on two different days.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh.
Ideally.
'Cause that helps.
Oh, about doing it at home, is that just a risk that we shouldn't take? If I'm going to do a true insemination, it's better to do it in the office, 'cause I have the light, and I have the table um, and that way I can really see and p you know, and do it correctly.
Okay, so is there any way to integrate me into the process at all? If she can maybe push a button and then Just send it.
I just I want You can push the syringe.
Yeah, that's okay.
You'd be surprised how important that is to me, - but, yeah, it's - Oh, yeah, that's fine.
It's very important.
My worst nightmare is that this is gonna be completely institutional, scientific, like, Dr.
Science make a baby.
Is there anything I can do that'll help me be more fertile? - Are you smoking? - Yeah.
- Try not to smoke.
- That is the plan.
Smoking is the number one thing in terms of affecting your fertility.
It's a struggle, but, I mean, I will do it.
There's of course I will do it.
- Yeah.
- Just gotta do it now.
I'm really scared, because I love smoking.
I thought it would be easier getting this far in the process.
I thought, baby time, no more cigarettes.
But, no, it's stressful, and I wanna smoke.
See you later, guys.
- Take care.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
- How are you? Good, I'm hungry, and it's late.
- Thank you for cooking.
- No problem.
You're welcome.
I met Drew through a bunch of friends at a party.
I haven't seen you in at least a month.
- No.
- So it's probably no? We haven't seen each other in a month.
When I met Drew, I saw my father in him for sure.
He's Mexican.
He kind of looks like him.
He kind of has the same moustache as him.
And I don't have a lot of men in my life.
My dad passed away four years ago.
And me and Drew just had this really quick connection.
And I wasn't dating anyone at the time, and there's that sense of, like, there's no one around, like, nobody cares, no one's here to take care of me, and this man comes in that is so my father that, yeah, there was a part of me that lost myself in that, and that feels like my dad, this feels like something safe, like he's here.
Well, I'm glad you're jogging now.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Now I guess when I - Now I guess when I - When you texted me this morning and you were like, "have a good jog," - I was like, "yeah, I will.
" - I know you are.
I'm actually jogging this time.
I know.
Did you go jogging the other day? I went jogging today and the other day, yeah.
I'm gonna text you every morning now that I am jogging, and ask how your jog went.
So how was work? I'm trying to get the jewelry line going, and I have no free time right now to even work on it.
And I'm working full-time without, like, any Do they give you benefits there? No.
I've been asking around and calling everybody, asking for, like, makeup jobs right now, or freelance jobs, or something to free up my time so I can work on the jewelry, still make enough to pay for me and Kelsey.
I don't have very many friends that are sober, and Drew helps out a lot of people getting sober, so he knows where I'm at.
He's been there.
He's been in a place of changing his life and going sober.
- How's Kelsey? - She gets crazy drunk, and it's hard for me to be around her when she's like that, 'cause I'm not on the same page as her.
And she needs to stop too.
No, she doesn't need to stop.
She doesn't need to stop.
She needs to cut back when she's around me right now.
Well, That'd be supportive, I would think.
As much as I know you care about Kelsey, what if she doesn't, like, support you? And not that she doesn't support you, but she just doesn't wanna not stop dri what if she - Well, she does.
- What if she said what if what if you were to pose this to her, like, "you know what? I can't have alcohol in the house.
And you can't drink around me.
" I've seen this whole scenario over time and time again.
All Kelsey's known you as, your whole identity and personality as this drinking person.
- True or not? - Yeah.
Definitely.
And we have been heavy drinkers together.
I'll support you and help you and everything - Right.
- But there's, like, so many things that you have that are just, like, gonna really be working against you.
I have to go home to my wife.
Don't go.
What are the odds, if you just called her and said, "Kels " How do you know what I'm gonna say? Drew is very protective of me.
I think that if Drew had it his way, I would be with nobody but him.
- But it's just - "Oh, I'm just gonna spend the night here at Drew's house.
" - Yeah.
- No! - Old times.
- No.
Fucking a.
Give me a bag.
I gotta go home.
It's right there.
Oh, shit! Rachel stops by later with Alyssa.
She looks good at the pool party.
You know, she, like, walks in with, like, her little sassy flair and her high heels.
I find Rachel attractive when she's not fucked up.
Am I sexually frustrated? Like, yeah, I kind of wanna, like, walk by something and, like, sit on it.
I'm like that.
I'm, like, to that level, like, a little bit right now.
- Did Mel get naked? - Yeah, butt naked.
- You got naked? - Yeah, she's naked right now.
She has no top on.
Getting really hot in here.
I think that Whitney and Mel were flirting at the party, but Mel's really young, and, you know, you can't send a girl in to do what a lady can do.
And there ends my sexual frustration.
I mean, you know, Rachel and I just kind of get caught up in the moment.
She's not fucked up, she's not, you know, nodding out.
And I figure, fuck it, why not? Both: I think the hottest part about it was that nobody knew what was going on At all.
It was, like, a hot little no-strings-attached hookup.
Now, that just looks horrible.
Can you help me? I don't have enough spittle.
Lick it off.
Get my cum stain off.
We have to pick out a new apartment.
- Yes, we do for you.
- What are you afraid of? What are you such in a rush for? Like, before, I felt like I really cared for you, but after feeling like I may have lost you, then it was like, wait a minute, - I can't, you know? - Mm-hmm.
Like, I couldn't lose you.
So then I knew exactly how much I cared about you.
So that's why now it's like, I don't ever wanna lose you again, not even for a day, not even for a couple hours.
And I so desperately don't wanna lose you that I want you around every day.
Chanel and I have been together for almost three weeks now.
I'm ready for Chanel to move in, but she's definitely not ready to move in with me.
I feel like one of the things she's having a problem with is, like, just, like, my outgoing nature.
You know, like, you can't really handle big gulps of Sajds.
You gotta sip it slow.
And I'm serving her really big gulps right now.
- I have doubts, and - You do? What are you doubting? Let's talk about it.
I don't think moving in together is gonna completely solve every issue that we have.
I think it will encourage us to have sex, lots and lots of sex, and to maybe even use sex as the answer to solving our problems.
Not that I'm against - No, you're not! - All that sex.
I feel like after each fight, we get closer and stronger.
At least that's what happens, you know, on my side of it.
I feel, um, like opening up physically when I feel that we've really connected emotionally and mentally.
- Mm-mm.
- Yes, we did.
Oh, we messed around.
That's not really that's not doesn't count as sex.
We both came.
I'm confused.
That's not sex.
What was the difference? Both: - What - Oh, my God.
- That's all wait, hold on.
- I'm just okay No, I really need to understand.
I have a question, I have a question.
We didn't have sex? What did we do? What was that? Well, let me let me let me tell you Can we have sex then if that's not sex? Yeah, that's what I was gonna tell you.
Both: What the fuck? What am I missin'? - A lot.
- Seriously, can we, please? - No.
- All right, I'm listening.
What do we need to do? Um well, um, up until that point, it was, like, foreplay.
It was, well, what I call foreplay, like, when you kind of do a little grinding, kind of do a little licking.
And that's foreplay to me, 'cause it's, like, you kind of do warm-up stuff.
We haven't had sex? Holy shit.
I'm listening to the audio book I don't know if you're joking or not.
I'm new! I've only been a lesbian for a year.
- Oh.
Well - And I've never been in a relationship.
Oh, well, honey, there's a lot more.
You could've done that to me for the next five years and I would've married you.
- Really? - That've been it.
Then I just put my foot in my mouth, huh? Oh, yeah, 'cause you're about to do some tricks.
I wanna see some shit.
We need to start having sex.
I can see.
'Cause now I need to know what it is! Hey, ladies.
Check this out.
So aside from doing special effects, I'm throwing a lesbian night called "Juicy," and we're throwing the first one in a couple days.
We're doing a photo shoot to create a flyer for the party.
I'm gonna be hosting the party, and I'm throwing it with Asha and Lezlee, who are both djs.
Since the first season of The Real L Word, I have developed a little bit of a lesbian following.
So Asha and Lezlee are counting on me to draw a crowd.
- Yeah, that's hot.
- Yeah, actually do that.
Where's Sara? Sara! - Oh, my God.
- Oh, fuck.
So I asked Sara to go-go dance when we were on good terms, and now we're not together, so awkward! You want it.
You gotta be the daddy right now, Lezlee.
Be the daddy.
Sara is trying to be very physical with me, and it's like she doesn't get why I'm not giving in still.
Remember "Juicy.
" Think juice.
It's like she just doesn't get it.
It's like whatever happened in the past, it just doesn't matter to her.
It's like nothing happened.
It's rare that I commit, but if I'm gonna commit, I'm gonna commit, and I wanna make sure it's worth it.
So so far she hasn't shown me that she's worth it.
What am I doing with this grapefruit? So you're serving it.
That's what I wanna do with it.
Yeah? Both: Hi.
Welcome to The Spot! The way it works is we have HIV testing and STD screening.
You can sign up on one if you want one, or both if you want both.
- We want both.
- Let's do both.
Great.
So since I just found out that we're not actually having sex, Chanel thought it'd be a good idea for us to get tested before we have sex for the first time.
We are going to be fine, and if there is anything, we'll just have to take the next step that's necessary.
- What you mean? - If there's anything wrong, like, we'll just have to take whatever the next step is gonna be.
Initials C.
B.
? Yeah, I can bring you in for the HIV test.
I'm starting to itch and everything.
So what brings you in to get a HIV test today? Um, I have a new partner, and, uh, we just wanna make sure that we're clear and ready to go, um, so we can enjoy being together.
- Thank you! - You're welcome! Back in the days, I mean, people were just, like, fuckin'.
They didn't care, uh, you know? That's why there's such an epidemic now.
Like, I know my grandmother ain't get no STD test.
She didn't even know what a tampon was.
When I first came out, I had a conversation with my doctor about sex with women.
And while I've learned it's safer, technically, uh, like, there's still risk in all sex.
Okay, so if you wanna come and follow me - Okay.
- All right.
I'm still learning, you know, how to completely protect myself in a sexual relationship with another woman.
So both of you got your HIV results - in your individual sessions.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, if you want to, this is an opportunity to tell each other, if you wanna tell each other what your results were.
- I'm negative.
- Okay, and I'm happy Because you are, - and I am too.
- Good.
Good, good.
But it's good to know so we can start off good.
Yeah.
Right.
- Good.
- But the other tests, we're waiting for those results, right? Right.
So those results won't come back for two weeks.
Oh, I'm so glad.
It's good.
We're definitely moving in a positive direction.
It's good.
I'm happy.
She's happy.
We're happy.
It's good.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How are you? Romi.
- It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm just really excited to start building my career.
I've been a makeup artist for the past ten years, and I've been around fashion my entire life, and that's where my passion is right now.
So I've been reaching out to all my friends and just letting them know that this is what I wanna do.
So I know that it's kind of you know, we spoke.
I've heard a lot about you, so I think it's gonna work out, but I wanted you to come by and just see what we got going on.
But you do need me, like, - full-time down here, right? - Yeah, yeah.
'Cause that's what I want.
- We literally just opened.
- Yeah.
Like, we have no coffee table yet - Yeah.
- The chairs aren't here, the desks aren't here, so it's like See, but that's exciting, though, too, - to kind of start with you - From the ground.
- Fresh on something.
- Yeah.
And we also contribute to developing the brands, marketing the brands, P.
R.
, the whole thing.
- So it'll be really - That's awesome.
Yeah.
Really exciting.
Don just started Showroom L.
A.
, and it's a showroom that represents men's clothing.
He is hiring for a sales rep, which is basically helping him get the lines that he represents into boutiques, into stores.
This week we're actually we have a trade-show on Starting Monday, and it goes through Wednesday.
- I wanna go.
- We're gonna need you to go.
- Yeah.
- Like, that's the only that's the only thing that is kind of crazy.
Don needs someone to go to Vegas and work magic.
It's a really big convention where everyone's there repping their line and buying their line.
So I'm gonna quit my job.
I'm ready to take on and start learning a whole new side to things.
I need to continue to keep learning.
- So, um - Cool.
- I guess, yeah.
- That's it.
I guess it's that easy.
I grew up with a certain lifestyle.
We had money.
My stepmom made a really good living.
But once I was on my own, I just really struggled.
So now I just want a career that I work really, really hard for that gives me the life that I know.
I'm totally excited.
So what do you think about what Dr.
Morris said? The fact that she said that it most likely won't happen on the first time, it's gonna take like, that freaked me out, because we don't have a lot to work with here, and we're gonna use two during a time when she said I probably won't even get pregnant.
Yeah, that really bothered me.
It was great to see a doctor, it was great to, like, hear our options and to figure out that, yes, the best way to do this is in a doctor's office.
But we have three vials of sperm, and two of them are gonna be used on our first try.
Like, two-thirds of the supply are gonna be used.
So it's scary.
We just have to stay positive, and it also could happen.
It is more than just staying positive.
If it's probably not gonna happen the first time, maybe we should just try it once.
Maybe we should just ship one.
I don't know.
What I don't wanna do is God, there's just no better way to say it I don't wanna blow our wad.
But, like, I wanna do it right.
I mean, if she says you should do it two times, I wanna do it two times, you know? - Yes, I know.
- I just I think it would be a waste not to do it, you know, balls out.
There's just no way around the jokes.
Mm-mm.
Who's that? Oh, maybe it's the hypnotist guy.
- Bruce? - Yes, Bruce Bonnett.
- How are you doing? - Good.
How are you? - Fine, thanks.
- So I've I've looked at your website, and I'm really having a hard time, um, - quitting smoking - Okay.
And I'm gonna be trying to get pregnant in a few weeks, and I need help badly.
No, but a coworker of my wife went to you and said it was a miracle, so Oh, good.
Good, good.
Yeah Quitting smoking is one of the most important things that I have to do.
Like, I cannot smoke and be carrying our baby.
Like, it's just not that's no, it's not an option.
So I need some help, and this guy was highly recommended.
Awesome.
Okay, 3:30's perfect.
Oh, I look forward to it.
Okay, me too.
Thanks for calling.
Okay.
Okay, thank you so much, Bruce.
Bye.
Okay, take care.
Bye-bye.
You too.
Bye.
I feel like I look like a lady.
You are a lady.
- Shut up.
- But it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna go to the girl party across the street.
- Is it called "P.
Y.
T.
"? - Yes, it's called "P.
Y.
T.
" But we're gonna have fun.
Don't worry.
Barbara's still in town.
We're heading out to P.
Y.
T.
tonight.
Tomorrow we're gonna go to Whitney's party, "Juicy.
" I really wanna show her a good time, and hopefully we'll meet some girls.
- Should we go there, Claire? - Where? Girly room? I know.
Dude, we gotta go there.
You see lots of titties.
'Cause you know all I give a shit about.
Hungry? Hungry? Oh, no, you don't eat meat.
- Uh, no.
- Peta, Peta! So what happened at the pool I don't know what happened at the pool party.
But me and Whitney, like, things have been pretty good.
Will we hook up again? I hope so.
What'd you get? A Shirley temple? Red Bull.
Blue Red Bull.
This is what's keeping me sober right now.
Just, like, red bull.
I had asked Kelsey, you know, not to drink, and she was like, "yeah, I'm not gonna drink tonight, not gonna drink tonight.
" Now she wants to drink.
She just offered her a taco, as she's wearing a fur coat and meat.
- Now she's drunk.
- As you're wearing a fur coat, honey.
So it's like, fuck, like, I can't really talk to you until tomorrow.
She wants to scream right now.
Are you kidding me? - Hey, girls! - Hi, guys! I told Claire let's just not talk until we both get over each other, and then we can be friends.
'Cause it's not right what she's doing to her girlfriend, and it's not right what she's doing to me either.
But, of course, we end up at the same bar together.
So Huh.
We were having a great night.
You know, my friend Mila's there and a bunch of the girls from The Real L Word are there.
I felt like I wanted to get to know them and talk to them about the website I wanna create.
Can we do it? Hey, hey! All I know is I come up, and Whitney and this girl are, like, sitting on the other side and starts up with the Deb bullshit.
- Deb! - I don't know I don't know who you are or what you're talking about.
- Oh, my God! - I don't know who started the conversation, but Chas had a couple cocktails, and she definitely started calling Claire "Deb.
" Don't be a Deb.
I don't even know what a Deb is.
A Deb is like I mean "Deb" didn't necessarily come from "Debbie Downer," but it's kind of, like, what it means.
It's like, if you're a Deb, you're like, "wah, wah!" Like, a little one step off.
Is Claire a Deb? I'm not gonna lie.
She did rub me the wrong way initially.
- Who was? - She said that, and then And I'm like, "why are you just saying that?" Don't pay attention.
Why? 'Cause I'm talking with you, she thinks I'm trying to fuck you? No, it's not that.
You don't even know me.
This girl's talking crazy shit.
Hey, don't be a Deb.
Honey, you know what? We're cool.
Yeah, you can suck mine too, you fuckin' ugly bitch.
- What? - Well, fucking Don't fucking talk shit.
Stop talking shit about me, girl.
- Seriously.
- I will fuck you up.
You don't even know me.
Dude, you're so fucking ugly.
It's so sad.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I finally was like, "you're fuckin' ugly," and then she's like, "you don't know the girls I fuck.
" And I was like, "well, you don't know "the girls I fuck, and I guarantee you they're hotter than yours.
" - Oh, yeah? - Seriously, grow the fuck up.
Yeah, seriously, dude.
Get a fuckin' real life.
- Don't do that, dude.
- Get a fuckin' real life.
Just, like, kept going.
It was just such a bummer, because I had had so much fun there the nights before.
All right, I'm gonna go.
Like, this is not fun.
Dude, I just got, like, attacked - by some fuckin' lesbian.
- Who? Why? What did she do? Called me a Deb.
Saying "you quit your job - to move out to L.
A " - Who said that? Fucking this fucking girl.
I don't even know your fucking name.
Who is she? I'm gonna get her.
This fucking girl.
I was like, "Franny, like, that frickin' crazy girl just attacked me," and Franny was like, "what? What? I'm gonna go tell her off.
" I was like, "okay.
" And I'm, like, standing there by myself like a loser, and I look over, and Francine's got her arm around her, and I was like, "oh, my God.
" - You just dropped my drink.
- I think it was Francine.
- I think it was Francine.
- What? Of course that's what Francine would do.
It sucked.
It really sucked.
- You're such an asshole.
- You know what? You can project your shit on me Franny, I would never do that to you.
I was just trying to make peace - between you guys.
- I would never do that to you.
Like, my intentions were to go and stand up for her, but I'm, like, a frickin' pansy.
What am I gonna do? Like, punch someone? - Like, Francine's a bitch - You know what? All right.
- What? - No, nothing.
I'm so sick of it.
You know what? It's not my fault that people hate you.
Sorry.
Yes, I said, "can you just not drink tonight?" And you said, "I'm not gonna drink tonight.
" This is, like it puts me in this position where I feel like I'm being controlled.
One night is all I asked for.
The thing is, I hate someone telling me how I'm gonna fucking live my life.
Kelsey, I'm not telling you how to live your life.
Okay, but tonight I felt that.
Romi's gone through her twenties having fun, and she just hit a breaking point where she said, "I just can't do this any more.
" But I'm not at the same page as she's at.
I'm only 23.
I think if I can manage drinking socially and moderately, that's fine.
You have to wanna be where I am.
And I want that.
You still wanna have fun, and go out, and you should.
I still wanna have fun and go out, but I wanna be sober, and I wanna work my ass off to have money to take care of us.
So you put this burden on me.
No, I'm just tired! And trying to quit drinking so that I can do these things and not fuck up.
I have not fucked up how you have fucked up.
So the fact that I still wanna go out and have a couple drinks, you should be okay with it.
Then, Kelsey, you go out.
You go drink.
Kelsey, she's been the first person in a really long time in my life, if ever, that I've really fought to get through shit with.
But we're getting nowhere.
I'm just gonna smoke a cigarette, and then I'll be back in bed.
I'm kind of scared.
Am I gonna be in a trance or something? - It's okay.
- I don't know why I'm scared.
- No, it's okay.
- Maybe I could just just quit.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Hi.
Hello! - I'm Bruce.
I'm here to see Cori.
- That's me.
- Hi, Cori, how you doing? - Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Bruce.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Bruce.
Pleasure.
Come on in.
Hi.
I know a lot about quitting smoking.
It's hard.
Obviously, a big trigger for smoking is anxiety.
And there's been plenty of that going around.
- So Cori and ? - Kacy.
- Kacy.
Hi.
- Hi.
How are you doing? - And Good, and you? - Good.
I think she's looking for a miracle, you know? She's looking for something that would just make it go away.
- Let's do it then, shall we? - Okay.
I'm so scared.
I don't know why.
Don't be scared.
What I want you to do is I want you to hold your hand out, and I want you to imagine I put a ping-pong ball right here.
Imagine it turns into a golf ball, it turns into a tennis ball.
It turns into a Well, a bowling ball.
You know what a bowling ball's like.
Imagine you go ahead and set that bowling ball down as you let the hand drop.
You start to go into what I call deep sleep.
I don't know anything about hypnotherapy, but she was taking very deep breaths.
I mean, it's kind of weird, you know.
It's a weird process to think that someone can carry around in your brain.
You know, it's like, fuck, that's some deep shit.
I want you to you take one of your hands and show me how it would be if you were gonna smoke.
Want you to imagine somebody's put an evil trick, put some mushrooms on the tip of that cigarette.
If you look down, there's your cigarettes and you see baby cockroaches are having a party in there all day long.
If you'd like to be free of that smoke, those cigarettes once and for all, why don't you just nod your head? Nice deep breath.
I don't know.
God, I hope it works.
I'm gonna count you up and out in a minute from zero to five.
When I do say five, you're gonna return to a fully non-suggestible awake alert state as if you had a nice little nap or rest.
One, two, three, four, five.
Eyes open, wide awake.
Eyes open, wide awake.
How you doing? Okay.
- Wow.
- I get a lot of wows at the first session.
Are you back? I don't know.
Oh.
Mmm.
I love you.
I love you too.
If I can help you with anything Oh, I'm sure.
- She'll think of something.
- Okay.
It's nice to meet you both.
Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- Okay, bye-bye.
- Bye.
Thanks, Bruce.
- You're welcome.
Take care.
I think it must have worked a little, because, like, just thinking about the smoke, like, ugh.
I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.
- I'm very proud of you.
Thanks, babe.
I think it's gonna work.
I'm excited to not be a smoker.
So last night, when me and Romi got home, we just got in a conversation about what I'm not getting from her, what she's not getting from me, and possibly about breaking up.
And we're going through a hard time.
I don't think that's a reason to say let's break up.
When things get difficult, you don't run.
I don't want to run.
She doesn't want to run.
And it comes to the point, okay, something has to give.
I have to change something.
I gotta talk to you.
I want to give up drinking.
Listen to me.
Why do you not want to drink? I don't want to drink 'cause I don't want something like that to have so much power over us.
And you're making me see that, babe.
Why are you shaking your head like that? It's just last night, you couldn't not drink.
- Okay, forget last night.
- You were grumpy - I'm talking about - You were upset, though.
You wanted to.
I felt like I was holding you back.
And if I'm holding you back, Kelsey, you are gonna look at me one day, and you are going to fucking hate me.
And you're gonna look back, and you're gonna be like, "fuck, I could have had fun.
"I could have drank.
I could gave gone and had fun and learned all this on my own.
" Not stressed about a career, not stressed about money.
Not worry about all that.
I have to worry about that.
I'm 23.
I have to have a career.
I have to have all those things.
So why aren't you starting to do it? - I am starting to do it! - How? I'm slowly starting to do it, Romi.
How? I want to believe more than anything in the world, Kelsey, that you and me can make it.
You want to be able to give money and help me out, - or take me out.
- I agree, baby.
You have to want to do all that.
I need that.
I will leave.
I need it.
I need a future.
I need a partner.
I'm just overwhelmed.
We love each other so much.
We really care about each other.
But I can't take care of her forever.
I don't want to be someone's mom.
I want to be a girlfriend.
Last night, we were all having fun.
Francine so hurt my feelings when she, like, didn't stand up for me.
And I don't need people telling me that I think I'm too cool for school.
Like, if Whitney said something to her and was, like, that way, I'm gonna be like, "dude, why are you judging me before you even know me?" She doesn't know you.
I mean, it's probably just like a drunken thing too.
- So it's like - Whatever.
Not even worth your time.
Got Vivian to talk to me again.
Yeah? She was so worried.
"Vivian, somebody attacked Claire!" - She was like - "Oh, my baby! My baby! Is she okay?" I was like There's eight of us girls, and we're in a group chat, kind of like your own personal Twitter.
And Vivian got all concerned because of Barb's message when that girl started screaming at me.
My favorite part was when I reread the stuff in the morning, she goes, "girl, she's okay.
She said she's a little shaken up.
" I was like - I was like - No, she wasn't.
I was like, I can't believe I said that.
"I'm a little shaken up?" As you were playing the "woe is me" card.
I was, like, playing, like, "oh, Vivian.
" "Oh, Vivian! Oh, my God!" I'm like, "it it's scary, but I'm okay.
" - That's hilarious.
- Whatever, but at least now we're in contact.
Oh, my gosh, last night, everything was fine, and, like, some girl went up to Claire and was like, "you think you're too cool for school," or something.
And then, like, I don't know, we were all kind of tipsy, - you know, and then - Yeah.
I go storm up to her, and I was like, "are you talking shit about my friend?" - Yeah.
- I don't even remember - our conversation - What the hell? But I think she said sorry or something, you know, and then, like, Claire threw a big fit, because she said that I was too nice to the girl when I went up to her.
- Oh, my lord.
- I'm not a mean person, but I did ask her what her problem was.
So you try to be nice and, like, have her back, - and then she gets - And then - She's mad? - Oh, my God.
This is at 2:19 in the morning.
Look what she said.
"You're so not my friend.
Thanks for fucking me over yet again.
You're fucking two-faced.
" Oh, no, wait.
"I did nothing, was sitting there and Whitney, I guess, told her I was too cool for school, which I am Which I am!" "So fuck all y'all"! I'm so sick of the mean things that come out of her mouth.
She said, "it's cool.
I look good.
You all look fake and crazy.
Bye.
" - What is she so mad at? - I don't know.
And not even just mean things to me.
It's mean things to people that I care about.
And she thinks that everyone's, like, a hater.
"Fuck that.
I have real friends who love me.
These girls are just jealous.
" Like, she thinks that all the girls are jealous of her.
Okay, wait, hold on, look, "yeah, I am cooler, so fuck you - for bitching me out.
" - Maybe she's jealous of you or something 'cause "And Whitney's a cocksucker.
" Like, really? Like, she's, like, so mad at everybody.
I don't understand what the hell's wrong with her.
Why do you put up with this? Like, what why, why, why, why? I don't know.
I like the blue one better.
You do? Yeah, there's more character in that one.
Is this one of those tank tops that, um, hangs down really low, that there's a lot of bra exposure? No, hold on, let me go get my thing out of the dryer.
You look good.
Tonight is the grand opening night of Juicy.
Alyssa's helping me get ready, do my hair, do my make-up.
It's like a big night.
It's like that anxiety you have of, like, who's coming to my birthday? It's not my birthday, but I'm saying, we are spending a lot of money.
We're putting ourselves out there.
Are we on a list or something? Yeah, you are.
What time do we have to be there, 10:00? The earlier you get there, the less stress I have.
Okay, then I'll get there at 10:00.
I mean, I'm hoping Juicy is a success.
The goal is to throw a monthly epic party, and if it's successful, I mean, who knows where it could go? - Bye.
- I'll see you there.
there's gonna be bitches in there with no clothes on.
I want I probably can't dance with nobody anyway, 'cause you gonna be all over me and shit.
If you want to get it out your system and walk around a couple of times without me, I don't really mind.
Oh, I will.
While you makin' friends, - I'm gonna be smackin' asses.
- Okay.
Please don't smack anyone's ass.
If they're naked, they don't have very much, like, you know what I mean.
Just because they're dressed a certain way does not mean it's your duty - to tap that booty.
- Tap that You're so fuckin' corny.
So Whitney's having a party, and Chanel and I are heading over.
So I haven't really met Whitney, but I moved out here because I was a fan of the show, so I had to check it out.
I'll fuck you on the dance floor.
No, no, no, no, no.
You savin' yourself? - Kissing is okay.
- Yeah? Kissing I could do.
So Chanel and I aren't having sex yet, because we're still waiting for our test results.
And if this is just foreplay, I don't know what the hell she's gonna show me later.
I don't think I can get blue balls, but I'm definitely suffering from some pink balls right now.
We don't have to go.
But I kind of want to go.
We don't have to stay.
We don't have to stay.
Oh, no, we don't have to stay.
Uh-oh.
Romi's going to Juicy tonight for Whitney, but I just cannot be in a club environment and not drink, so Drew's gonna come pick me up and take me to an A.
A.
meeting.
See how it goes.
Hey, Drew.
I haven't ever tried going a long period of time without drinking.
I've never said to myself, "let me try a month.
" So right now, I'm at the point where I'm gonna try it, see what happens because I don't want to lose Romi, and that's enough reason for me.
Um, I just cleaned up a little bit.
It looks great.
She just texted me.
She's, like, she's depressed.
She's depressed? Well, yeah, 'cause she probably is, you know 'Cause she's not gonna be in her element.
She's not drinking right now, so I figure I can't go.
I cannot go to a club without drinking.
I still feel weird sometimes too, myself.
All right.
I think it's great that Kelsey's deciding not to drink today.
Today? Just for today.
It is, seriously.
There's a saying I've heard, Kelsey.
If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you'll piss all over today.
If I have one foot if you have one foot in the future and one foot in the past, you'll piss all over today.
You know, just kind of like just staying in the now.
Oh, like being being here, being present.
So let's go.
What's up, ladies? How y'all feelin' tonight? The first night out, motherfuckers! The thing about hosting, it's like people ask me, like, what I do for a living now.
I guess you could say I'm either a professional lesbian "gaymous" Gay famous Or a "celesbian," I suppose.
Um, I don't know.
God, I'm so glad I have two bachelor's degrees.
But hopefully, it'll help make Juicy a big success.
When Chanel and I got there, I met Whitney.
It was nuts, 'cause, like, I saw her, and I'm like, "oh, shit, it's whit.
" And, like, we really hit it off.
Like, it was cool.
Look at me! Holla! So tonight, I met Khristianne through Romi, and we hit it off immediately.
Oh, my God.
I thought she was the funniest person on earth.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Let's have fun.
I knew Francine was gonna be at Juicy most likely, and I wanted to find her, because I wanted to figure out when I could pick up the rest of my stuff.
They'll find us, they'll find us.
- So let's walk this way.
- All right.
Oh, my God, I need a cigarette right now.
- You don't.
- No.
Six hours without a cigarette.
I mean, this is a huge accomplishment for me.
We are supposed to be meeting our friends at Whitney's party.
We're already late because I am a nutcase.
It's like consuming my mind how bad I want a cigarette.
Try to think about something else.
Did you pop some gum? Thank you.
We are going on a journey to find an electronic cigarette, 'cause I needed something so I didn't kill someone.
I think they have 'em at a - The gas station? - Gas station.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
Hi, do you have those fake cigarettes? But they don't sell it.
They just have the display.
So it exists.
My mom has the same thing that they were talk Call your mom.
You have to stop cutting me off, because I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind.
I feel like this is really good practice for when you're pregnant.
I'm gettin' cranky again.
I thought it was gonna be easy.
That's why you pay the hypnotist.
I'm not recommending him at this moment.
I'm gonna punch him for making me believe that this wouldn't happen.
I got hypnotized.
Sorry to say, I think it's a big fucking joke.
Fuck the quitting smoking.
It's not even six hours, I'm already a crazy person.
I know, but, I mean, come on.
When was the last time you had it? Fuck my life.
- Ah! - It's just a phone.
I know, but - I know, babe - Don't.
- I know.
- Shh, shh.
Please don't shush me.
It's something entirely different when you suddenly need to manage emotions without a 15-year crutch.
So when she couldn't find her phone, That sucked.
That sucked bad.
Fuck me! Baby, it's okay.
Just just let me have a moment.
I just need a moment.
I'm not good.
I lost it.
Everything kacy said was wrong.
She could do no right.
Definitely wasn't one of my finer moments.
Maybe wherever I bought the gum, I put my wallet and my phone down in.
Did I leave my phone here? Oh! I love you! Yes! You are the luckiest girl in the entire world.
I'm gonna be crazy, and I'm gonna be bitchy, and I'm gonna go through some shit, but just gotta push through it.
All the drama over a fuckin' phone! It's been difficult tonight, because I wanted to go and support Whitney.
Whether I'm sober or I'm not sober, I'm still someone's friend.
And Kelsey wasn't ready to go.
She wasn't strong enough, she felt, to go.
And I respected that, and I didn't ask her to come.
So she's at home just like "I can't believe, like, I'm here not drinking for our relationship, and " Did you tell her she's getting sober for herself? I said that I'm like, "if you're doing this for you, "then you need to be at home, because this is what you need to do for yourself.
" It's not like I'm gonna go out every night.
I'm just coming to be with my friends for one night.
- Yeah.
- I'm drinking O'Doul's.
O'Doul's, yeah.
Drew's like, "I'm gonna take her to my house.
" You're not fucking taking her no.
Taking who to your house? Kelsey, 'cause he's with her right now - and he's like - Who? "Oh, I'm gonna take Kelsey back to my house.
" - Drew! - Oh.
Leave her at home.
You don't need to take her back and like She's not your girlfriend.
She's mine.
Like, let me deal with it.
I wish this was real.
Kelsey's very, very needy.
I love you.
And Drew texts me stuff like, "we're gonna go back to my place," and I'm like, "no.
She's not your girlfriend.
"You're doing it to piss me off.
You're just saying it to piss me off, and you're just pissed that I'm not there with you.
" If she goes to Drew's, I will be fucking livid.
- Why? - Livid.
It's like, grow up, both of you.
Finally found Francine.
Hi, I'm Claire.
She was with a bunch of people I had never seen before.
Some guy and some girl.
She was acting, like, totally aloof.
And I just wanted to say, "hey, I'm coming by to grab my stuff.
" Hi.
You don't have to be such a weirdo.
- I'm not a weirdo.
- I know what you're doing.
I'm not doing anything, actually.
How did you meet these people? What? - How? - What? So I'm gonna come by tomorrow and grab some clothes, and then - I'm gonna move some boxes.
- Well, you have to - You have to move your boxes - I know.
Before 3:00 p.
m.
I feel like Claire's not being very respectful at this point.
The things she does is, like, at her convenience.
She actually moved out, but she left all of her things there.
Just come before 3:00.
I'll come after I drop Barbara off at the airport.
What time? Like, 10:00 in the morning? Okay.
Is that okay? - Move your boxes - I know.
Before 3:00 p.
m.
Okay, I got that.
I don't understand what it is between us, but it's fight after fight after fight.
So, I'm Why do you say stuff like that? I'm what? I'm what? I just feel like she's constantly pissed off or, like, I get mad, or, like, it's the things that we do to each other, and I'm so sick of it, I'm at my breaking point already.
- Straight up.
- It's her ex-girlfriend.
Really? I think I've come to the realization that I'm not gonna take this anymore, and I'm really done.
Who's having a good time tonight? Juicy is a success.
I'm talking more successful than we had hoped.
It is amazing.
I mean, literally, we have over 700 people here.
That is, I believe, the biggest lesbian party in Los Angeles.
Good luck.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
It's good.
It's good.
Thank you for coming.
I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm like, "I'm coming home," and she's like, "well, we're laying in bed watching SNL.
" With Drew? Yeah, like, "he wants to say hi to you.
" I'm like, "I'm not in a good mood.
I don't want to deal with this right now.
" I'm gonna call her.
Hey, baby.
I'm coming home.
I thought you were just gonna be in bed.
I don't want to come home and, like, be around anyone right now.
I'm not in a good mood.
Well, why are you You guys are just chillin', watching movies? Do you want me just to, like, let you guys be? What are you talking about? Come home.
I don't want to come home and, like, be around anybody.
I'm not in a good mood.
I told you I was feeling depressed before I came out.
It's fine, whatever.
I'll see you when I get home.
I'm on my way home.
Okay, bye.
I hate my life right now.
I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind.
I can't drink, I feel like I'm not fun.
I don't know how to turn my head off.
I'm in an awful mood.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
And I have everything that's been numb for the past years coming up in me, and I'm fragile, and I'm emotional, and I'm tired.
Drew goes, "whatever.
Next time don't put Kelsey in a position to have to kick me out of your effin' house.
" Um, wow.
I did not Drew's like, "well, fuck you.
Like, why are you being such a bitch?" And I'm like, "I'm not being a bitch.
I just don't want to see anybody right now.
" Well, then, like, you need to talk to Drew.
I get pissed at him, because he becomes too manipulating, and he tries to run, like, things in our relationship that have nothing to do with him.
And me and Drew used to be with each other all the time and stay up and spend the night and do all that, and that is too much, and we learned that.
It's too much.
You know, like, you don't need to be here with us till 1:00 in the morning.
Bye.
Love you.
- Love you.
- So I have to be very aware of where my boundaries are with him.
Hey.
Where'd Drew go? He's all pissed off at me.
Can we talk? What do you want to talk about? I don't want Drew in the bed until 1:00 in the morning with my girlfriend.
Is that understandable? I don't even see why it's a problem, but okay.
Till 1:00 in the morning in bed? First of all, he left at, like, 12:20.
It wasn't till 1:00 in the morning.
Well, me and him are, like, probably just gonna be pissed off at each other right now, 'cause his stupid text.
The whole thing is just so fuckin' dumb.
Like, what's really going on? Like, there's a underlying something.
All I want to be is supportive.
I mean, I don't know why it was such a big deal, like, he was here laying on the bed with me.
That was a huge deal.
Like, I so badly wish I could just, like, drink and, like, run around like like we did, you know? I'd rather be here at home with you.
Or with Drew.
Not or with Drew.
He was the only person here I could hang out with.
Well, then you can Don't you know, I don't even care.
I'm done talking about that.
It's just stupid.
Scotty? - Scotty! - Yeah? What's goin' on? Francine just said whatever's in that room, bring it outside.
Leave it outside.
You no, yeah.
Oh, it's like that? I don't think we should leave it like that.
- We'll, like, line 'em up.
- Oh, my God.
No, I think we should line it up nicely, like, right here.
This looks bad.
We're gonna put it underneath the shelter.
- What for? - Listen, she's disrespectful, but we can't do it like it's a homeless person.
We just have to put it under the shade.
From the minute Claire arrived in Los Angeles, it was like "Vivian and me," and then it's like, "okay, if this one doesn't work, "then this one's gonna happen.
This one doesn't work, that one's gonna happen.
" That's what it felt like from my point of view, and, you know, it was finally time that I stand up for myself, so I'm just gonna put her stuff outside so she can pick it up so I don't have to see her.
Got it all.
Cheers.
To a great night.
I realized so much tonight that other people project their insecurities on you.
- Yeah.
- And you know what? - We shouldn't take it.
- Don't.
Not at all.
- Keep the smile on your face.
- And you know what? Finally, I'm putting Yeah, keep the smile on your face, because I haven't had a smile on my face in - Pounds.
- Fuck, yeah.
Doesn't it feel good to be happy? - Yeah, it does.
- And just no negativity.
The negativity's out of your life.
No negativity.
I realize that I didn't understand the negative influence or the impact that one person can have on my life.
And finally, I am washing my hands clean and moving on to bigger and better things.
It was such a beautiful night, and, like, ended in a fuckin' mess.
I'm about to leave.
Chanel, shut the fuck up! I know what I'm doing! I'm pretty nervous.
I just don't want it to be over, you know? I mean, if we're gonna have a real make up, we need to make up.
I'm always like, "I'm ready to fuck.
" Like but, um I'm ready.
Knockin' 'em back before we get knocked up! Now that we bought the sperm, this is gonna be it for however long it takes us to conceive.
Whoo-whoo! Having the baby! Cori has to quit drinking, quit smoking.
Time is ticking.
- Bye, bitches! - Bye! I love you so much! Don't wanna be working the rest of my life in retail.
Is there something I can do that is more creative? - I think you're drunk.
- No, I'm not.
It's hard, because I'm sober, and Kelsey is going to continue drinking.
Okay, I'm drunk.
How are we gonna do this? I miss you.
I miss you too.
Walk in the front door, and the first thing she does is call her ex-girlfriend.
Francine, both of you know what I'm doing.
So that's why I'm taking myself out of the situation.
Okay? I really love both of them, but you can't have everything you want.
I have been pretty patient with your bullshit.
Vivian, it's like, everyone keeps saying that to me.
Let's make this the last conversation.
I love you.
You don't have to say it back.
I know.
Rachel definitely made a move on me.
Come here.
She just is flirting with the idea that if we're just friends then we can still kind of hook up.
I think Rachel is feeling a little left in the dust because Whitney gets wrapped up in Sara.
Sara denies seeing Erica, but she's not honest about it.
So let's just cut our ties.
That means I'm single as hell.
Ball's flying at your head.
She loves balls flying at her head.
It's a gorgeous day in L.
A.
, and my friend is throwing a pool party.
There is very attractive girls, chicken fights, food, drinks I am done with the back and forth with Sara.
Like, I need a new relationship, new love I am so done with that flip-flop action.
And I've said it's done many times, but I'll tell you right now, there's a switch that flips, and, like, it's been clicked to the off position.
When I was a freshman I was dating a senior guy, and I went to his prom, and his best friend's girlfriend was not from the same school, and I wasn't from the same school, and we started talking at dinner and bonding.
And, like, we snuck off to the bathroom and, like, ended up hooking up and, like, sleeping over at each ether's house and, like, ditching our boyfriends, and they were pissed! - Oh, I'm sure.
- Right? So how did you realize you were gay? Shall I another one? I don't think she is gay.
Are you? I hate that question.
It's like, I don't I don't know what I am.
You're like, "labels are for jars.
" I don't think I need to choose.
- Like, I don't - Totally.
I get it.
People put so much pressure on, like, are you gay or are you not gay? - I don't know.
I'm still young.
- I love it.
Like, I have a lot to figure out still, you know? - How old are you? - I'm only 19.
Oh, wow.
You are young.
Mel is super cute.
I'm kind of getting that sense that she has a little thing for me.
But she is young.
Like, not underage young.
Like, over over the age.
But I don't know how much girl experience she has, and it's kind of, like, intriguing.
I'm not gonna lie.
Let go of me! I'll kill you! I'll kill you! Aah! I know that I'm gonna be ovulating in two weeks.
So I'm gonna be taking the test every morning.
And so when I get the smiley face, I just call you? Right.
When you get the smiley face, you call.
And if I'm not getting a smiley face, you'll have us come in to see what's going on? Yes.
So I was recommended a great ob/gyn, and Kacy and I went to go talk to her and figure out, you know, what's next.
You need to have the specimens.
They only had three vials available, so how many do we ship? We only need two for this cycle.
Okay.
But if you were to try a second cycle if you needed a second cycle, which you very well may Mm-hmm.
Then you might need extra vials.
Oh! When you inseminate her in the office, - you use two of them? - Right.
Or do you do it on two different days? We do it on two different days.
- Oh, okay.
- Oh.
Ideally.
'Cause that helps.
Oh, about doing it at home, is that just a risk that we shouldn't take? If I'm going to do a true insemination, it's better to do it in the office, 'cause I have the light, and I have the table um, and that way I can really see and p you know, and do it correctly.
Okay, so is there any way to integrate me into the process at all? If she can maybe push a button and then Just send it.
I just I want You can push the syringe.
Yeah, that's okay.
You'd be surprised how important that is to me, - but, yeah, it's - Oh, yeah, that's fine.
It's very important.
My worst nightmare is that this is gonna be completely institutional, scientific, like, Dr.
Science make a baby.
Is there anything I can do that'll help me be more fertile? - Are you smoking? - Yeah.
- Try not to smoke.
- That is the plan.
Smoking is the number one thing in terms of affecting your fertility.
It's a struggle, but, I mean, I will do it.
There's of course I will do it.
- Yeah.
- Just gotta do it now.
I'm really scared, because I love smoking.
I thought it would be easier getting this far in the process.
I thought, baby time, no more cigarettes.
But, no, it's stressful, and I wanna smoke.
See you later, guys.
- Take care.
- Thank you.
- Hello.
- How are you? Good, I'm hungry, and it's late.
- Thank you for cooking.
- No problem.
You're welcome.
I met Drew through a bunch of friends at a party.
I haven't seen you in at least a month.
- No.
- So it's probably no? We haven't seen each other in a month.
When I met Drew, I saw my father in him for sure.
He's Mexican.
He kind of looks like him.
He kind of has the same moustache as him.
And I don't have a lot of men in my life.
My dad passed away four years ago.
And me and Drew just had this really quick connection.
And I wasn't dating anyone at the time, and there's that sense of, like, there's no one around, like, nobody cares, no one's here to take care of me, and this man comes in that is so my father that, yeah, there was a part of me that lost myself in that, and that feels like my dad, this feels like something safe, like he's here.
Well, I'm glad you're jogging now.
- Shut the fuck up.
- Now I guess when I - Now I guess when I - When you texted me this morning and you were like, "have a good jog," - I was like, "yeah, I will.
" - I know you are.
I'm actually jogging this time.
I know.
Did you go jogging the other day? I went jogging today and the other day, yeah.
I'm gonna text you every morning now that I am jogging, and ask how your jog went.
So how was work? I'm trying to get the jewelry line going, and I have no free time right now to even work on it.
And I'm working full-time without, like, any Do they give you benefits there? No.
I've been asking around and calling everybody, asking for, like, makeup jobs right now, or freelance jobs, or something to free up my time so I can work on the jewelry, still make enough to pay for me and Kelsey.
I don't have very many friends that are sober, and Drew helps out a lot of people getting sober, so he knows where I'm at.
He's been there.
He's been in a place of changing his life and going sober.
- How's Kelsey? - She gets crazy drunk, and it's hard for me to be around her when she's like that, 'cause I'm not on the same page as her.
And she needs to stop too.
No, she doesn't need to stop.
She doesn't need to stop.
She needs to cut back when she's around me right now.
Well, That'd be supportive, I would think.
As much as I know you care about Kelsey, what if she doesn't, like, support you? And not that she doesn't support you, but she just doesn't wanna not stop dri what if she - Well, she does.
- What if she said what if what if you were to pose this to her, like, "you know what? I can't have alcohol in the house.
And you can't drink around me.
" I've seen this whole scenario over time and time again.
All Kelsey's known you as, your whole identity and personality as this drinking person.
- True or not? - Yeah.
Definitely.
And we have been heavy drinkers together.
I'll support you and help you and everything - Right.
- But there's, like, so many things that you have that are just, like, gonna really be working against you.
I have to go home to my wife.
Don't go.
What are the odds, if you just called her and said, "Kels " How do you know what I'm gonna say? Drew is very protective of me.
I think that if Drew had it his way, I would be with nobody but him.
- But it's just - "Oh, I'm just gonna spend the night here at Drew's house.
" - Yeah.
- No! - Old times.
- No.
Fucking a.
Give me a bag.
I gotta go home.
It's right there.
Oh, shit! Rachel stops by later with Alyssa.
She looks good at the pool party.
You know, she, like, walks in with, like, her little sassy flair and her high heels.
I find Rachel attractive when she's not fucked up.
Am I sexually frustrated? Like, yeah, I kind of wanna, like, walk by something and, like, sit on it.
I'm like that.
I'm, like, to that level, like, a little bit right now.
- Did Mel get naked? - Yeah, butt naked.
- You got naked? - Yeah, she's naked right now.
She has no top on.
Getting really hot in here.
I think that Whitney and Mel were flirting at the party, but Mel's really young, and, you know, you can't send a girl in to do what a lady can do.
And there ends my sexual frustration.
I mean, you know, Rachel and I just kind of get caught up in the moment.
She's not fucked up, she's not, you know, nodding out.
And I figure, fuck it, why not? Both: I think the hottest part about it was that nobody knew what was going on At all.
It was, like, a hot little no-strings-attached hookup.
Now, that just looks horrible.
Can you help me? I don't have enough spittle.
Lick it off.
Get my cum stain off.
We have to pick out a new apartment.
- Yes, we do for you.
- What are you afraid of? What are you such in a rush for? Like, before, I felt like I really cared for you, but after feeling like I may have lost you, then it was like, wait a minute, - I can't, you know? - Mm-hmm.
Like, I couldn't lose you.
So then I knew exactly how much I cared about you.
So that's why now it's like, I don't ever wanna lose you again, not even for a day, not even for a couple hours.
And I so desperately don't wanna lose you that I want you around every day.
Chanel and I have been together for almost three weeks now.
I'm ready for Chanel to move in, but she's definitely not ready to move in with me.
I feel like one of the things she's having a problem with is, like, just, like, my outgoing nature.
You know, like, you can't really handle big gulps of Sajds.
You gotta sip it slow.
And I'm serving her really big gulps right now.
- I have doubts, and - You do? What are you doubting? Let's talk about it.
I don't think moving in together is gonna completely solve every issue that we have.
I think it will encourage us to have sex, lots and lots of sex, and to maybe even use sex as the answer to solving our problems.
Not that I'm against - No, you're not! - All that sex.
I feel like after each fight, we get closer and stronger.
At least that's what happens, you know, on my side of it.
I feel, um, like opening up physically when I feel that we've really connected emotionally and mentally.
- Mm-mm.
- Yes, we did.
Oh, we messed around.
That's not really that's not doesn't count as sex.
We both came.
I'm confused.
That's not sex.
What was the difference? Both: - What - Oh, my God.
- That's all wait, hold on.
- I'm just okay No, I really need to understand.
I have a question, I have a question.
We didn't have sex? What did we do? What was that? Well, let me let me let me tell you Can we have sex then if that's not sex? Yeah, that's what I was gonna tell you.
Both: What the fuck? What am I missin'? - A lot.
- Seriously, can we, please? - No.
- All right, I'm listening.
What do we need to do? Um well, um, up until that point, it was, like, foreplay.
It was, well, what I call foreplay, like, when you kind of do a little grinding, kind of do a little licking.
And that's foreplay to me, 'cause it's, like, you kind of do warm-up stuff.
We haven't had sex? Holy shit.
I'm listening to the audio book I don't know if you're joking or not.
I'm new! I've only been a lesbian for a year.
- Oh.
Well - And I've never been in a relationship.
Oh, well, honey, there's a lot more.
You could've done that to me for the next five years and I would've married you.
- Really? - That've been it.
Then I just put my foot in my mouth, huh? Oh, yeah, 'cause you're about to do some tricks.
I wanna see some shit.
We need to start having sex.
I can see.
'Cause now I need to know what it is! Hey, ladies.
Check this out.
So aside from doing special effects, I'm throwing a lesbian night called "Juicy," and we're throwing the first one in a couple days.
We're doing a photo shoot to create a flyer for the party.
I'm gonna be hosting the party, and I'm throwing it with Asha and Lezlee, who are both djs.
Since the first season of The Real L Word, I have developed a little bit of a lesbian following.
So Asha and Lezlee are counting on me to draw a crowd.
- Yeah, that's hot.
- Yeah, actually do that.
Where's Sara? Sara! - Oh, my God.
- Oh, fuck.
So I asked Sara to go-go dance when we were on good terms, and now we're not together, so awkward! You want it.
You gotta be the daddy right now, Lezlee.
Be the daddy.
Sara is trying to be very physical with me, and it's like she doesn't get why I'm not giving in still.
Remember "Juicy.
" Think juice.
It's like she just doesn't get it.
It's like whatever happened in the past, it just doesn't matter to her.
It's like nothing happened.
It's rare that I commit, but if I'm gonna commit, I'm gonna commit, and I wanna make sure it's worth it.
So so far she hasn't shown me that she's worth it.
What am I doing with this grapefruit? So you're serving it.
That's what I wanna do with it.
Yeah? Both: Hi.
Welcome to The Spot! The way it works is we have HIV testing and STD screening.
You can sign up on one if you want one, or both if you want both.
- We want both.
- Let's do both.
Great.
So since I just found out that we're not actually having sex, Chanel thought it'd be a good idea for us to get tested before we have sex for the first time.
We are going to be fine, and if there is anything, we'll just have to take the next step that's necessary.
- What you mean? - If there's anything wrong, like, we'll just have to take whatever the next step is gonna be.
Initials C.
B.
? Yeah, I can bring you in for the HIV test.
I'm starting to itch and everything.
So what brings you in to get a HIV test today? Um, I have a new partner, and, uh, we just wanna make sure that we're clear and ready to go, um, so we can enjoy being together.
- Thank you! - You're welcome! Back in the days, I mean, people were just, like, fuckin'.
They didn't care, uh, you know? That's why there's such an epidemic now.
Like, I know my grandmother ain't get no STD test.
She didn't even know what a tampon was.
When I first came out, I had a conversation with my doctor about sex with women.
And while I've learned it's safer, technically, uh, like, there's still risk in all sex.
Okay, so if you wanna come and follow me - Okay.
- All right.
I'm still learning, you know, how to completely protect myself in a sexual relationship with another woman.
So both of you got your HIV results - in your individual sessions.
- Mm-hmm.
Um, if you want to, this is an opportunity to tell each other, if you wanna tell each other what your results were.
- I'm negative.
- Okay, and I'm happy Because you are, - and I am too.
- Good.
Good, good.
But it's good to know so we can start off good.
Yeah.
Right.
- Good.
- But the other tests, we're waiting for those results, right? Right.
So those results won't come back for two weeks.
Oh, I'm so glad.
It's good.
We're definitely moving in a positive direction.
It's good.
I'm happy.
She's happy.
We're happy.
It's good.
- Hi.
- Hey.
How are you? Romi.
- It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
Now that I'm sober, I'm just really excited to start building my career.
I've been a makeup artist for the past ten years, and I've been around fashion my entire life, and that's where my passion is right now.
So I've been reaching out to all my friends and just letting them know that this is what I wanna do.
So I know that it's kind of you know, we spoke.
I've heard a lot about you, so I think it's gonna work out, but I wanted you to come by and just see what we got going on.
But you do need me, like, - full-time down here, right? - Yeah, yeah.
'Cause that's what I want.
- We literally just opened.
- Yeah.
Like, we have no coffee table yet - Yeah.
- The chairs aren't here, the desks aren't here, so it's like See, but that's exciting, though, too, - to kind of start with you - From the ground.
- Fresh on something.
- Yeah.
And we also contribute to developing the brands, marketing the brands, P.
R.
, the whole thing.
- So it'll be really - That's awesome.
Yeah.
Really exciting.
Don just started Showroom L.
A.
, and it's a showroom that represents men's clothing.
He is hiring for a sales rep, which is basically helping him get the lines that he represents into boutiques, into stores.
This week we're actually we have a trade-show on Starting Monday, and it goes through Wednesday.
- I wanna go.
- We're gonna need you to go.
- Yeah.
- Like, that's the only that's the only thing that is kind of crazy.
Don needs someone to go to Vegas and work magic.
It's a really big convention where everyone's there repping their line and buying their line.
So I'm gonna quit my job.
I'm ready to take on and start learning a whole new side to things.
I need to continue to keep learning.
- So, um - Cool.
- I guess, yeah.
- That's it.
I guess it's that easy.
I grew up with a certain lifestyle.
We had money.
My stepmom made a really good living.
But once I was on my own, I just really struggled.
So now I just want a career that I work really, really hard for that gives me the life that I know.
I'm totally excited.
So what do you think about what Dr.
Morris said? The fact that she said that it most likely won't happen on the first time, it's gonna take like, that freaked me out, because we don't have a lot to work with here, and we're gonna use two during a time when she said I probably won't even get pregnant.
Yeah, that really bothered me.
It was great to see a doctor, it was great to, like, hear our options and to figure out that, yes, the best way to do this is in a doctor's office.
But we have three vials of sperm, and two of them are gonna be used on our first try.
Like, two-thirds of the supply are gonna be used.
So it's scary.
We just have to stay positive, and it also could happen.
It is more than just staying positive.
If it's probably not gonna happen the first time, maybe we should just try it once.
Maybe we should just ship one.
I don't know.
What I don't wanna do is God, there's just no better way to say it I don't wanna blow our wad.
But, like, I wanna do it right.
I mean, if she says you should do it two times, I wanna do it two times, you know? - Yes, I know.
- I just I think it would be a waste not to do it, you know, balls out.
There's just no way around the jokes.
Mm-mm.
Who's that? Oh, maybe it's the hypnotist guy.
- Bruce? - Yes, Bruce Bonnett.
- How are you doing? - Good.
How are you? - Fine, thanks.
- So I've I've looked at your website, and I'm really having a hard time, um, - quitting smoking - Okay.
And I'm gonna be trying to get pregnant in a few weeks, and I need help badly.
No, but a coworker of my wife went to you and said it was a miracle, so Oh, good.
Good, good.
Yeah Quitting smoking is one of the most important things that I have to do.
Like, I cannot smoke and be carrying our baby.
Like, it's just not that's no, it's not an option.
So I need some help, and this guy was highly recommended.
Awesome.
Okay, 3:30's perfect.
Oh, I look forward to it.
Okay, me too.
Thanks for calling.
Okay.
Okay, thank you so much, Bruce.
Bye.
Okay, take care.
Bye-bye.
You too.
Bye.
I feel like I look like a lady.
You are a lady.
- Shut up.
- But it's gonna be fun.
We're gonna go to the girl party across the street.
- Is it called "P.
Y.
T.
"? - Yes, it's called "P.
Y.
T.
" But we're gonna have fun.
Don't worry.
Barbara's still in town.
We're heading out to P.
Y.
T.
tonight.
Tomorrow we're gonna go to Whitney's party, "Juicy.
" I really wanna show her a good time, and hopefully we'll meet some girls.
- Should we go there, Claire? - Where? Girly room? I know.
Dude, we gotta go there.
You see lots of titties.
'Cause you know all I give a shit about.
Hungry? Hungry? Oh, no, you don't eat meat.
- Uh, no.
- Peta, Peta! So what happened at the pool I don't know what happened at the pool party.
But me and Whitney, like, things have been pretty good.
Will we hook up again? I hope so.
What'd you get? A Shirley temple? Red Bull.
Blue Red Bull.
This is what's keeping me sober right now.
Just, like, red bull.
I had asked Kelsey, you know, not to drink, and she was like, "yeah, I'm not gonna drink tonight, not gonna drink tonight.
" Now she wants to drink.
She just offered her a taco, as she's wearing a fur coat and meat.
- Now she's drunk.
- As you're wearing a fur coat, honey.
So it's like, fuck, like, I can't really talk to you until tomorrow.
She wants to scream right now.
Are you kidding me? - Hey, girls! - Hi, guys! I told Claire let's just not talk until we both get over each other, and then we can be friends.
'Cause it's not right what she's doing to her girlfriend, and it's not right what she's doing to me either.
But, of course, we end up at the same bar together.
So Huh.
We were having a great night.
You know, my friend Mila's there and a bunch of the girls from The Real L Word are there.
I felt like I wanted to get to know them and talk to them about the website I wanna create.
Can we do it? Hey, hey! All I know is I come up, and Whitney and this girl are, like, sitting on the other side and starts up with the Deb bullshit.
- Deb! - I don't know I don't know who you are or what you're talking about.
- Oh, my God! - I don't know who started the conversation, but Chas had a couple cocktails, and she definitely started calling Claire "Deb.
" Don't be a Deb.
I don't even know what a Deb is.
A Deb is like I mean "Deb" didn't necessarily come from "Debbie Downer," but it's kind of, like, what it means.
It's like, if you're a Deb, you're like, "wah, wah!" Like, a little one step off.
Is Claire a Deb? I'm not gonna lie.
She did rub me the wrong way initially.
- Who was? - She said that, and then And I'm like, "why are you just saying that?" Don't pay attention.
Why? 'Cause I'm talking with you, she thinks I'm trying to fuck you? No, it's not that.
You don't even know me.
This girl's talking crazy shit.
Hey, don't be a Deb.
Honey, you know what? We're cool.
Yeah, you can suck mine too, you fuckin' ugly bitch.
- What? - Well, fucking Don't fucking talk shit.
Stop talking shit about me, girl.
- Seriously.
- I will fuck you up.
You don't even know me.
Dude, you're so fucking ugly.
It's so sad.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
I finally was like, "you're fuckin' ugly," and then she's like, "you don't know the girls I fuck.
" And I was like, "well, you don't know "the girls I fuck, and I guarantee you they're hotter than yours.
" - Oh, yeah? - Seriously, grow the fuck up.
Yeah, seriously, dude.
Get a fuckin' real life.
- Don't do that, dude.
- Get a fuckin' real life.
Just, like, kept going.
It was just such a bummer, because I had had so much fun there the nights before.
All right, I'm gonna go.
Like, this is not fun.
Dude, I just got, like, attacked - by some fuckin' lesbian.
- Who? Why? What did she do? Called me a Deb.
Saying "you quit your job - to move out to L.
A " - Who said that? Fucking this fucking girl.
I don't even know your fucking name.
Who is she? I'm gonna get her.
This fucking girl.
I was like, "Franny, like, that frickin' crazy girl just attacked me," and Franny was like, "what? What? I'm gonna go tell her off.
" I was like, "okay.
" And I'm, like, standing there by myself like a loser, and I look over, and Francine's got her arm around her, and I was like, "oh, my God.
" - You just dropped my drink.
- I think it was Francine.
- I think it was Francine.
- What? Of course that's what Francine would do.
It sucked.
It really sucked.
- You're such an asshole.
- You know what? You can project your shit on me Franny, I would never do that to you.
I was just trying to make peace - between you guys.
- I would never do that to you.
Like, my intentions were to go and stand up for her, but I'm, like, a frickin' pansy.
What am I gonna do? Like, punch someone? - Like, Francine's a bitch - You know what? All right.
- What? - No, nothing.
I'm so sick of it.
You know what? It's not my fault that people hate you.
Sorry.
Yes, I said, "can you just not drink tonight?" And you said, "I'm not gonna drink tonight.
" This is, like it puts me in this position where I feel like I'm being controlled.
One night is all I asked for.
The thing is, I hate someone telling me how I'm gonna fucking live my life.
Kelsey, I'm not telling you how to live your life.
Okay, but tonight I felt that.
Romi's gone through her twenties having fun, and she just hit a breaking point where she said, "I just can't do this any more.
" But I'm not at the same page as she's at.
I'm only 23.
I think if I can manage drinking socially and moderately, that's fine.
You have to wanna be where I am.
And I want that.
You still wanna have fun, and go out, and you should.
I still wanna have fun and go out, but I wanna be sober, and I wanna work my ass off to have money to take care of us.
So you put this burden on me.
No, I'm just tired! And trying to quit drinking so that I can do these things and not fuck up.
I have not fucked up how you have fucked up.
So the fact that I still wanna go out and have a couple drinks, you should be okay with it.
Then, Kelsey, you go out.
You go drink.
Kelsey, she's been the first person in a really long time in my life, if ever, that I've really fought to get through shit with.
But we're getting nowhere.
I'm just gonna smoke a cigarette, and then I'll be back in bed.
I'm kind of scared.
Am I gonna be in a trance or something? - It's okay.
- I don't know why I'm scared.
- No, it's okay.
- Maybe I could just just quit.
- Hi.
- Hello.
Hi.
Hello! - I'm Bruce.
I'm here to see Cori.
- That's me.
- Hi, Cori, how you doing? - Hi.
- Hi.
- I'm Bruce.
- Nice to meet you.
- Hi, Bruce.
Pleasure.
Come on in.
Hi.
I know a lot about quitting smoking.
It's hard.
Obviously, a big trigger for smoking is anxiety.
And there's been plenty of that going around.
- So Cori and ? - Kacy.
- Kacy.
Hi.
- Hi.
How are you doing? - And Good, and you? - Good.
I think she's looking for a miracle, you know? She's looking for something that would just make it go away.
- Let's do it then, shall we? - Okay.
I'm so scared.
I don't know why.
Don't be scared.
What I want you to do is I want you to hold your hand out, and I want you to imagine I put a ping-pong ball right here.
Imagine it turns into a golf ball, it turns into a tennis ball.
It turns into a Well, a bowling ball.
You know what a bowling ball's like.
Imagine you go ahead and set that bowling ball down as you let the hand drop.
You start to go into what I call deep sleep.
I don't know anything about hypnotherapy, but she was taking very deep breaths.
I mean, it's kind of weird, you know.
It's a weird process to think that someone can carry around in your brain.
You know, it's like, fuck, that's some deep shit.
I want you to you take one of your hands and show me how it would be if you were gonna smoke.
Want you to imagine somebody's put an evil trick, put some mushrooms on the tip of that cigarette.
If you look down, there's your cigarettes and you see baby cockroaches are having a party in there all day long.
If you'd like to be free of that smoke, those cigarettes once and for all, why don't you just nod your head? Nice deep breath.
I don't know.
God, I hope it works.
I'm gonna count you up and out in a minute from zero to five.
When I do say five, you're gonna return to a fully non-suggestible awake alert state as if you had a nice little nap or rest.
One, two, three, four, five.
Eyes open, wide awake.
Eyes open, wide awake.
How you doing? Okay.
- Wow.
- I get a lot of wows at the first session.
Are you back? I don't know.
Oh.
Mmm.
I love you.
I love you too.
If I can help you with anything Oh, I'm sure.
- She'll think of something.
- Okay.
It's nice to meet you both.
Okay.
- Thank you very much.
- Okay, bye-bye.
- Bye.
Thanks, Bruce.
- You're welcome.
Take care.
I think it must have worked a little, because, like, just thinking about the smoke, like, ugh.
I'm proud of you.
- Thank you.
- I'm very proud of you.
Thanks, babe.
I think it's gonna work.
I'm excited to not be a smoker.
So last night, when me and Romi got home, we just got in a conversation about what I'm not getting from her, what she's not getting from me, and possibly about breaking up.
And we're going through a hard time.
I don't think that's a reason to say let's break up.
When things get difficult, you don't run.
I don't want to run.
She doesn't want to run.
And it comes to the point, okay, something has to give.
I have to change something.
I gotta talk to you.
I want to give up drinking.
Listen to me.
Why do you not want to drink? I don't want to drink 'cause I don't want something like that to have so much power over us.
And you're making me see that, babe.
Why are you shaking your head like that? It's just last night, you couldn't not drink.
- Okay, forget last night.
- You were grumpy - I'm talking about - You were upset, though.
You wanted to.
I felt like I was holding you back.
And if I'm holding you back, Kelsey, you are gonna look at me one day, and you are going to fucking hate me.
And you're gonna look back, and you're gonna be like, "fuck, I could have had fun.
"I could have drank.
I could gave gone and had fun and learned all this on my own.
" Not stressed about a career, not stressed about money.
Not worry about all that.
I have to worry about that.
I'm 23.
I have to have a career.
I have to have all those things.
So why aren't you starting to do it? - I am starting to do it! - How? I'm slowly starting to do it, Romi.
How? I want to believe more than anything in the world, Kelsey, that you and me can make it.
You want to be able to give money and help me out, - or take me out.
- I agree, baby.
You have to want to do all that.
I need that.
I will leave.
I need it.
I need a future.
I need a partner.
I'm just overwhelmed.
We love each other so much.
We really care about each other.
But I can't take care of her forever.
I don't want to be someone's mom.
I want to be a girlfriend.
Last night, we were all having fun.
Francine so hurt my feelings when she, like, didn't stand up for me.
And I don't need people telling me that I think I'm too cool for school.
Like, if Whitney said something to her and was, like, that way, I'm gonna be like, "dude, why are you judging me before you even know me?" She doesn't know you.
I mean, it's probably just like a drunken thing too.
- So it's like - Whatever.
Not even worth your time.
Got Vivian to talk to me again.
Yeah? She was so worried.
"Vivian, somebody attacked Claire!" - She was like - "Oh, my baby! My baby! Is she okay?" I was like There's eight of us girls, and we're in a group chat, kind of like your own personal Twitter.
And Vivian got all concerned because of Barb's message when that girl started screaming at me.
My favorite part was when I reread the stuff in the morning, she goes, "girl, she's okay.
She said she's a little shaken up.
" I was like - I was like - No, she wasn't.
I was like, I can't believe I said that.
"I'm a little shaken up?" As you were playing the "woe is me" card.
I was, like, playing, like, "oh, Vivian.
" "Oh, Vivian! Oh, my God!" I'm like, "it it's scary, but I'm okay.
" - That's hilarious.
- Whatever, but at least now we're in contact.
Oh, my gosh, last night, everything was fine, and, like, some girl went up to Claire and was like, "you think you're too cool for school," or something.
And then, like, I don't know, we were all kind of tipsy, - you know, and then - Yeah.
I go storm up to her, and I was like, "are you talking shit about my friend?" - Yeah.
- I don't even remember - our conversation - What the hell? But I think she said sorry or something, you know, and then, like, Claire threw a big fit, because she said that I was too nice to the girl when I went up to her.
- Oh, my lord.
- I'm not a mean person, but I did ask her what her problem was.
So you try to be nice and, like, have her back, - and then she gets - And then - She's mad? - Oh, my God.
This is at 2:19 in the morning.
Look what she said.
"You're so not my friend.
Thanks for fucking me over yet again.
You're fucking two-faced.
" Oh, no, wait.
"I did nothing, was sitting there and Whitney, I guess, told her I was too cool for school, which I am Which I am!" "So fuck all y'all"! I'm so sick of the mean things that come out of her mouth.
She said, "it's cool.
I look good.
You all look fake and crazy.
Bye.
" - What is she so mad at? - I don't know.
And not even just mean things to me.
It's mean things to people that I care about.
And she thinks that everyone's, like, a hater.
"Fuck that.
I have real friends who love me.
These girls are just jealous.
" Like, she thinks that all the girls are jealous of her.
Okay, wait, hold on, look, "yeah, I am cooler, so fuck you - for bitching me out.
" - Maybe she's jealous of you or something 'cause "And Whitney's a cocksucker.
" Like, really? Like, she's, like, so mad at everybody.
I don't understand what the hell's wrong with her.
Why do you put up with this? Like, what why, why, why, why? I don't know.
I like the blue one better.
You do? Yeah, there's more character in that one.
Is this one of those tank tops that, um, hangs down really low, that there's a lot of bra exposure? No, hold on, let me go get my thing out of the dryer.
You look good.
Tonight is the grand opening night of Juicy.
Alyssa's helping me get ready, do my hair, do my make-up.
It's like a big night.
It's like that anxiety you have of, like, who's coming to my birthday? It's not my birthday, but I'm saying, we are spending a lot of money.
We're putting ourselves out there.
Are we on a list or something? Yeah, you are.
What time do we have to be there, 10:00? The earlier you get there, the less stress I have.
Okay, then I'll get there at 10:00.
I mean, I'm hoping Juicy is a success.
The goal is to throw a monthly epic party, and if it's successful, I mean, who knows where it could go? - Bye.
- I'll see you there.
there's gonna be bitches in there with no clothes on.
I want I probably can't dance with nobody anyway, 'cause you gonna be all over me and shit.
If you want to get it out your system and walk around a couple of times without me, I don't really mind.
Oh, I will.
While you makin' friends, - I'm gonna be smackin' asses.
- Okay.
Please don't smack anyone's ass.
If they're naked, they don't have very much, like, you know what I mean.
Just because they're dressed a certain way does not mean it's your duty - to tap that booty.
- Tap that You're so fuckin' corny.
So Whitney's having a party, and Chanel and I are heading over.
So I haven't really met Whitney, but I moved out here because I was a fan of the show, so I had to check it out.
I'll fuck you on the dance floor.
No, no, no, no, no.
You savin' yourself? - Kissing is okay.
- Yeah? Kissing I could do.
So Chanel and I aren't having sex yet, because we're still waiting for our test results.
And if this is just foreplay, I don't know what the hell she's gonna show me later.
I don't think I can get blue balls, but I'm definitely suffering from some pink balls right now.
We don't have to go.
But I kind of want to go.
We don't have to stay.
We don't have to stay.
Oh, no, we don't have to stay.
Uh-oh.
Romi's going to Juicy tonight for Whitney, but I just cannot be in a club environment and not drink, so Drew's gonna come pick me up and take me to an A.
A.
meeting.
See how it goes.
Hey, Drew.
I haven't ever tried going a long period of time without drinking.
I've never said to myself, "let me try a month.
" So right now, I'm at the point where I'm gonna try it, see what happens because I don't want to lose Romi, and that's enough reason for me.
Um, I just cleaned up a little bit.
It looks great.
She just texted me.
She's, like, she's depressed.
She's depressed? Well, yeah, 'cause she probably is, you know 'Cause she's not gonna be in her element.
She's not drinking right now, so I figure I can't go.
I cannot go to a club without drinking.
I still feel weird sometimes too, myself.
All right.
I think it's great that Kelsey's deciding not to drink today.
Today? Just for today.
It is, seriously.
There's a saying I've heard, Kelsey.
If you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you'll piss all over today.
If I have one foot if you have one foot in the future and one foot in the past, you'll piss all over today.
You know, just kind of like just staying in the now.
Oh, like being being here, being present.
So let's go.
What's up, ladies? How y'all feelin' tonight? The first night out, motherfuckers! The thing about hosting, it's like people ask me, like, what I do for a living now.
I guess you could say I'm either a professional lesbian "gaymous" Gay famous Or a "celesbian," I suppose.
Um, I don't know.
God, I'm so glad I have two bachelor's degrees.
But hopefully, it'll help make Juicy a big success.
When Chanel and I got there, I met Whitney.
It was nuts, 'cause, like, I saw her, and I'm like, "oh, shit, it's whit.
" And, like, we really hit it off.
Like, it was cool.
Look at me! Holla! So tonight, I met Khristianne through Romi, and we hit it off immediately.
Oh, my God.
I thought she was the funniest person on earth.
Thank you.
Let's go.
Let's have fun.
I knew Francine was gonna be at Juicy most likely, and I wanted to find her, because I wanted to figure out when I could pick up the rest of my stuff.
They'll find us, they'll find us.
- So let's walk this way.
- All right.
Oh, my God, I need a cigarette right now.
- You don't.
- No.
Six hours without a cigarette.
I mean, this is a huge accomplishment for me.
We are supposed to be meeting our friends at Whitney's party.
We're already late because I am a nutcase.
It's like consuming my mind how bad I want a cigarette.
Try to think about something else.
Did you pop some gum? Thank you.
We are going on a journey to find an electronic cigarette, 'cause I needed something so I didn't kill someone.
I think they have 'em at a - The gas station? - Gas station.
Don't worry about it.
It's okay.
Hi, do you have those fake cigarettes? But they don't sell it.
They just have the display.
So it exists.
My mom has the same thing that they were talk Call your mom.
You have to stop cutting me off, because I'm gonna fuckin' lose my mind.
I feel like this is really good practice for when you're pregnant.
I'm gettin' cranky again.
I thought it was gonna be easy.
That's why you pay the hypnotist.
I'm not recommending him at this moment.
I'm gonna punch him for making me believe that this wouldn't happen.
I got hypnotized.
Sorry to say, I think it's a big fucking joke.
Fuck the quitting smoking.
It's not even six hours, I'm already a crazy person.
I know, but, I mean, come on.
When was the last time you had it? Fuck my life.
- Ah! - It's just a phone.
I know, but - I know, babe - Don't.
- I know.
- Shh, shh.
Please don't shush me.
It's something entirely different when you suddenly need to manage emotions without a 15-year crutch.
So when she couldn't find her phone, That sucked.
That sucked bad.
Fuck me! Baby, it's okay.
Just just let me have a moment.
I just need a moment.
I'm not good.
I lost it.
Everything kacy said was wrong.
She could do no right.
Definitely wasn't one of my finer moments.
Maybe wherever I bought the gum, I put my wallet and my phone down in.
Did I leave my phone here? Oh! I love you! Yes! You are the luckiest girl in the entire world.
I'm gonna be crazy, and I'm gonna be bitchy, and I'm gonna go through some shit, but just gotta push through it.
All the drama over a fuckin' phone! It's been difficult tonight, because I wanted to go and support Whitney.
Whether I'm sober or I'm not sober, I'm still someone's friend.
And Kelsey wasn't ready to go.
She wasn't strong enough, she felt, to go.
And I respected that, and I didn't ask her to come.
So she's at home just like "I can't believe, like, I'm here not drinking for our relationship, and " Did you tell her she's getting sober for herself? I said that I'm like, "if you're doing this for you, "then you need to be at home, because this is what you need to do for yourself.
" It's not like I'm gonna go out every night.
I'm just coming to be with my friends for one night.
- Yeah.
- I'm drinking O'Doul's.
O'Doul's, yeah.
Drew's like, "I'm gonna take her to my house.
" You're not fucking taking her no.
Taking who to your house? Kelsey, 'cause he's with her right now - and he's like - Who? "Oh, I'm gonna take Kelsey back to my house.
" - Drew! - Oh.
Leave her at home.
You don't need to take her back and like She's not your girlfriend.
She's mine.
Like, let me deal with it.
I wish this was real.
Kelsey's very, very needy.
I love you.
And Drew texts me stuff like, "we're gonna go back to my place," and I'm like, "no.
She's not your girlfriend.
"You're doing it to piss me off.
You're just saying it to piss me off, and you're just pissed that I'm not there with you.
" If she goes to Drew's, I will be fucking livid.
- Why? - Livid.
It's like, grow up, both of you.
Finally found Francine.
Hi, I'm Claire.
She was with a bunch of people I had never seen before.
Some guy and some girl.
She was acting, like, totally aloof.
And I just wanted to say, "hey, I'm coming by to grab my stuff.
" Hi.
You don't have to be such a weirdo.
- I'm not a weirdo.
- I know what you're doing.
I'm not doing anything, actually.
How did you meet these people? What? - How? - What? So I'm gonna come by tomorrow and grab some clothes, and then - I'm gonna move some boxes.
- Well, you have to - You have to move your boxes - I know.
Before 3:00 p.
m.
I feel like Claire's not being very respectful at this point.
The things she does is, like, at her convenience.
She actually moved out, but she left all of her things there.
Just come before 3:00.
I'll come after I drop Barbara off at the airport.
What time? Like, 10:00 in the morning? Okay.
Is that okay? - Move your boxes - I know.
Before 3:00 p.
m.
Okay, I got that.
I don't understand what it is between us, but it's fight after fight after fight.
So, I'm Why do you say stuff like that? I'm what? I'm what? I just feel like she's constantly pissed off or, like, I get mad, or, like, it's the things that we do to each other, and I'm so sick of it, I'm at my breaking point already.
- Straight up.
- It's her ex-girlfriend.
Really? I think I've come to the realization that I'm not gonna take this anymore, and I'm really done.
Who's having a good time tonight? Juicy is a success.
I'm talking more successful than we had hoped.
It is amazing.
I mean, literally, we have over 700 people here.
That is, I believe, the biggest lesbian party in Los Angeles.
Good luck.
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
It's good.
It's good.
Thank you for coming.
I'll see you tomorrow, okay? I'm like, "I'm coming home," and she's like, "well, we're laying in bed watching SNL.
" With Drew? Yeah, like, "he wants to say hi to you.
" I'm like, "I'm not in a good mood.
I don't want to deal with this right now.
" I'm gonna call her.
Hey, baby.
I'm coming home.
I thought you were just gonna be in bed.
I don't want to come home and, like, be around anyone right now.
I'm not in a good mood.
Well, why are you You guys are just chillin', watching movies? Do you want me just to, like, let you guys be? What are you talking about? Come home.
I don't want to come home and, like, be around anybody.
I'm not in a good mood.
I told you I was feeling depressed before I came out.
It's fine, whatever.
I'll see you when I get home.
I'm on my way home.
Okay, bye.
I hate my life right now.
I'm feeling like I'm losing my mind.
I can't drink, I feel like I'm not fun.
I don't know how to turn my head off.
I'm in an awful mood.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
And I have everything that's been numb for the past years coming up in me, and I'm fragile, and I'm emotional, and I'm tired.
Drew goes, "whatever.
Next time don't put Kelsey in a position to have to kick me out of your effin' house.
" Um, wow.
I did not Drew's like, "well, fuck you.
Like, why are you being such a bitch?" And I'm like, "I'm not being a bitch.
I just don't want to see anybody right now.
" Well, then, like, you need to talk to Drew.
I get pissed at him, because he becomes too manipulating, and he tries to run, like, things in our relationship that have nothing to do with him.
And me and Drew used to be with each other all the time and stay up and spend the night and do all that, and that is too much, and we learned that.
It's too much.
You know, like, you don't need to be here with us till 1:00 in the morning.
Bye.
Love you.
- Love you.
- So I have to be very aware of where my boundaries are with him.
Hey.
Where'd Drew go? He's all pissed off at me.
Can we talk? What do you want to talk about? I don't want Drew in the bed until 1:00 in the morning with my girlfriend.
Is that understandable? I don't even see why it's a problem, but okay.
Till 1:00 in the morning in bed? First of all, he left at, like, 12:20.
It wasn't till 1:00 in the morning.
Well, me and him are, like, probably just gonna be pissed off at each other right now, 'cause his stupid text.
The whole thing is just so fuckin' dumb.
Like, what's really going on? Like, there's a underlying something.
All I want to be is supportive.
I mean, I don't know why it was such a big deal, like, he was here laying on the bed with me.
That was a huge deal.
Like, I so badly wish I could just, like, drink and, like, run around like like we did, you know? I'd rather be here at home with you.
Or with Drew.
Not or with Drew.
He was the only person here I could hang out with.
Well, then you can Don't you know, I don't even care.
I'm done talking about that.
It's just stupid.
Scotty? - Scotty! - Yeah? What's goin' on? Francine just said whatever's in that room, bring it outside.
Leave it outside.
You no, yeah.
Oh, it's like that? I don't think we should leave it like that.
- We'll, like, line 'em up.
- Oh, my God.
No, I think we should line it up nicely, like, right here.
This looks bad.
We're gonna put it underneath the shelter.
- What for? - Listen, she's disrespectful, but we can't do it like it's a homeless person.
We just have to put it under the shade.
From the minute Claire arrived in Los Angeles, it was like "Vivian and me," and then it's like, "okay, if this one doesn't work, "then this one's gonna happen.
This one doesn't work, that one's gonna happen.
" That's what it felt like from my point of view, and, you know, it was finally time that I stand up for myself, so I'm just gonna put her stuff outside so she can pick it up so I don't have to see her.
Got it all.
Cheers.
To a great night.
I realized so much tonight that other people project their insecurities on you.
- Yeah.
- And you know what? - We shouldn't take it.
- Don't.
Not at all.
- Keep the smile on your face.
- And you know what? Finally, I'm putting Yeah, keep the smile on your face, because I haven't had a smile on my face in - Pounds.
- Fuck, yeah.
Doesn't it feel good to be happy? - Yeah, it does.
- And just no negativity.
The negativity's out of your life.
No negativity.
I realize that I didn't understand the negative influence or the impact that one person can have on my life.
And finally, I am washing my hands clean and moving on to bigger and better things.