The Serpent Queen (2022) s02e05 Episode Script

1
[ANTOINE] Previously
on The Serpent Queen
[RUGGIERI] I'm sorry
to hear about Hercule.
He didn't deserve what happened to him.
Who really gets what
they deserve in this world?
I'd like nothing more than to retire.
How can I with a psychotic sadist
waiting in the wings?
To ensure glory, we must have
a solid bond of trust.
Now take off all your clothes.
So I have decided
that the House of Guise
will fund the construction
of a grand palace
that will make all Frenchmen proud,
regardless of their faith.
What a pretty idea.
[ALESSANDRO] Catherine says
you are to give me what I need,
anything I desire.
You can I ask,
but I won't necessarily give it to you.
So what would you say if I told you
I could arrange another miracle?
[MONTMORENCY] The Duke of Anjou
is confined to his quarters.
Your time will come.
She'll turn on you, too, believe me.
Promise me no harm will come to Edith.
A condition for your queen?
Cross me on this,
and we will be enemies.
[EDITH] The Black Queen
sent this woman to kill me.
We drank that poison together,
and yet here we are.
Are you with us, Sister Aabis?
[DRAMATIC ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[CATHERINE] The location
for the new palace is perfect.
It's just as I imagined.
[ALESSANDRO] Seems you have
vision, Your Majesty,
in addition to your other gifts.
- You flatter me.
- [LAUGHS]
I wonder why.
It's easier to flatter with the truth.
I admire what you're doing.
You are a humanist
who sees worth in everyone,
no matter their station.
I can't help but wonder
what we might accomplish
were we free of the usual constraints.
What did you have in mind?
America, a place we could
bring people together,
unbound by the old laws
and outdated prejudices of Europe.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
I happen to have a controlling interest
in a new settlement in Florida.
Think of it, a colony in your name
where your policy
of tolerance would be law
and you would become rich
trading new resources
with the vast world.
But not before I provide
a substantial outlay
from France's treasuries, hmm?
All I ask is an investment
to get things started.
Then you do not plan
on returning to Florence?
Ah.
Florentines have never been keen
on a bastard as their duke.
Well, I'm sorry to hear that.
But before I can help you
build a new country,
I must first unite my own.
[CHARLES] Hello, Margot.
Do you know Sisi?
Grandniece of the Holy Roman Emperor.
As it happens, we have
a great deal in common.
Yes.
How wonderful for you both.
Are you waiting for someone?
Mm? No, no, just, um, reading.
Well, I just adore reading outside.
Perhaps I could join you one afternoon.
It is my opinion
that reading is best enjoyed
as a solitary pastime.
But if it is your scheme
to marry my brother
and we become sisters-in-law,
we will have plenty of time
to bore one another.
There's no point rushing things.
I don't believe
I'm scheming at anything.
[CHARLES]
Please forgive my sister.
Margot thinks saying things no
one else would makes her brave.
She forgets,
no one else says them
because they are boring
and uninteresting.
Oh, he must like you.
He's usually
much more indulgent of me.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
Who is that with Mother?
[MARGOT] I think he has
something to do with your new palace.
He's terribly handsome.
Is he?
I don't see it myself.
- [CATHERINE] Ah.
- [CHARLES] Hello, Mother.
You know Sisi?
[ELIZABETH] Of course.
Aren't you going
to introduce us to your friend?
Ah, I had hoped
to introduce you formally.
Charles, may I present
the Duke of Florence,
Alessandro de Medici.
It's an honor, Your Majesty.
Ah, so a relative of some kind.
You, you're a fool.
I told you what would happen
if you went after Edith.
I would ask you to adjust
your tone when addressing
And I would ask you to fuck off.
- [SISI GASPS]
- Who are you to ask me anything?
I'm her brother.
Her what?
I thought you were an only child.
As did I.
Can someone tell me what is happening?
What is happening is, your mother
sanctioned a political assassination
without your authority.
If the situation was dangerous before,
it is now uncontrollable.
And you have your mother to thank.
♪
- How dare he?
- Is it true?
I must confess, this was a contingency
I had not anticipated.
Montmorency has never seen reason
when it comes to that girl.
Please excuse me.
- Uncle.
- Your Majesty.
♪
Welcome to court.
[PEOPLE GRUNTING]
[ANTOINETTE] Antoine, you-you
oh, you big beast, oh.
[ANTOINE] Say that again.
Oh, you massive beast.
[ANTOINE GRUNTING]
- Stop, stop, stop.
- What is it?
♪
Carry on, carry on. Oh.
- An toine.
- [ANTOINE GRUNTING]
Ant [MOANING]
♪
Another miracle.
God be praised.
Is that what you think?
♪
[RUGGIERI] Well, you know me.
I don't believe in magic,
and I don't believe in miracles.
But I believe in faith.
Pray for rain, and if it rains,
who's to say the cause?
Isn't that what you used to tell me?
Someone wanted a miracle,
and someone benefited
from providing one.
At this point, it doesn't
really matter what happened,
does it?
People believe,
and there's nothing
more dangerous than that.
You're up against God now.
Tell me
how can I protect my children?
Perhaps you should be more concerned
about who will protect you from them.
Now that Montmorency
no longer trusts you
to protect his ward,
he'll certainly manipulate
the king's insecurity over
your tendency to rule over him.
You learned how to manage
the Guises and the Bourbons.
Keep them in competition
so they never accumulate
enough power to oppose you.
You'd have me set my children
against one another?
That ship has already sailed, hasn't it?
♪
I hear you have a brother now.
He must be such a comfort to you.
He is.
A man you've never met
walks into your life
and tells you he's the family
you've always wanted.
So many confusing feelings, I imagine.
Hard to see straight.
♪
Morning, Throckmorton.
What's the latest?
News from France, Your Majesty.
Ah.
♪
Hmm, seems our piece of gutter trash
is rising faster than we thought.
I never doubted her.
I don't know about you,
but I suddenly feel a hankering
for the continent.
Shall we take a trip?
I do love a sea crossing.
You are such a romantic.
It's true, I am.
I'd ask you to stay,
but I don't have a chair.
- Off you go.
- [THROCKMORTON] Your Majesty.
♪
I'm afraid my son
is not feeling very well.
[GASPS] Your Grace,
forgive my intrusion.
[CHARLES V] Oh, nothing to forgive.
[ELISABETH] I will leave you.
No, don't go.
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] You know
my son wasn't always
as cruel as he became.
[LAUGHS]
No, in fact,
he was a good boy, gentle.
[CHUCKLES]
He had a small dog he loved.
He was totally devoted to that dog.
He used to carry it with him everywhere.
Of course, I mocked him relentlessly
for the depth of his feeling.
Told him it made him soft.
So to prove me wrong,
he threw it out the window.
♪
[SIGHS] Perhaps
you might return and read to him.
[CHUCKLES]
The sound of your voice
might provide some peace for both of us.
Come on, now.
♪
[DOOR CREAKS]
Ah, Elisabeth.
Good of you to see to our guests.
I will be leaving now that you're here.
[CHARLES V] Come on.
But I will return again soon.
Oh, thank you.
♪
Sweet girl.
You're lucky to have her.
I'm sorry for your suffering.
There is only grief at my time of life.
The accomplishments, pfft,
mean nothing.
All I can think of now is
♪
what will become of him when I'm gone?
Well, I'm afraid I have one more grief
to lay at your feet.
Our false prophet Sister Edith
survived the assassination attempt.
If there was any doubt,
it would appear that God
is indeed on her side.
[CHUCKLES]
Our heroine in the forest
has returned for a third act,
which means the English
will see an opportunity
on the continent.
That heaving virgin,
she knows talent where she sees it.
- [LIQUID POURING]
- As it happens,
I'm on the verge of a trade
deal with the English queen.
You think she will be satisfied
with a trade deal
when she could claim half of Europe?
She won't be able to resist,
whereupon my generals will demand
safe passage through France
to defend the empire.
I will have no reason
to stand in their way.
You will have no reason
to refuse.
French Protestants
will join Queen Elizabeth.
The Catholics will stay with me.
And the continent will be cut in two.
[GRUNTS]
♪
Perhaps we were deluded to think
it could be any other way.
After all, violence is what
lies at the heart of man,
and it appears he will have it.
♪
I wonder if you two
really know what you're doing.
I mean, why play double agent at court
when it's clear the promised land
is with Sister Edith?
I suggest you do not concern yourself
with matters you cannot understand.
Yeah, don't-don't trouble
yourself with any of that.
Why wouldn't I trouble myself?
The truth is, you're both idiots.
And if it weren't for the involvement
of Queen Elizabeth,
I would get as far from this
as I possibly could,
with Henri safely by my side.
I won't have you
dragging him down as well.
- Very good of you, Mother.
- [DOOR CLATTERS OPEN]
[FOOTSTEPS TAPPING]
- [LOUIS] Oh.
- [ALL] Your Majesty.
What a charming family tableau.
I've tried to domesticate
the animals as best I could
prayer, regular family meals.
Life is what happens
around a table, I always say.
Yes bliss.
Uh, c-c-can I offer you a drink?
We abstain, of course,
but we're allowed a tipple
when we have guests.
- [FINGERS SNAPPING]
- No, thank you.
I'm not staying.
I only came to welcome Louis home.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
- [CATHERINE] I thought we might
discuss your recent trip abroad.
How does Queen Elizabeth feel
about all these unruly Protestants
we've got here on the continent?
I hope it's not putting her
off our trade deal.
On the contrary.
Like you, she is committed
to trade and prosperity
and wants to avoid
religious war at all costs.
Rest assured, Queen Elizabeth
has no ambitions on the continent
apart from economic.
So commerce, not conflict, then?
- Precisely.
- Got a good ring to it.
[LOUIS] Mm.
- Indeed.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
- What a relief.
- [LOUIS AND ANTOINE CHUCKLE]
♪
He's lying.
Unsurprising. I'll find out what I can.
Do it quickly.
You think she bought it?
Of course she bought it.
I have that effect on women, Antoine.
[ANTOINE CHUCKLES]
[BELL TOLLING]
[ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[DOOR CLATTERS OPEN]
[DOOR SLAMS]
♪
Laying it on a bit thick, aren't you?
Don't think anyone's watching.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
When we were kids,
I was the one who wanted to be a priest.
You were the one wanking
in the confession booth,
which makes the fact
that you became a Cardinal
particularly funny.
Yeah, well, maybe the joke's on me.
Maybe this thing that I've
resented my whole life
happened for a reason.
Maybe, or maybe it's
entirely fucking random
like everything else.
[GRUNTS]
What happened in the church
that night, Francois?
[FRANCOIS]
I don't want to talk about it.
Because you locked the doors,
and then you set it alight
with them all inside.
But then what?
What you'd expect.
Screaming.
Then the screaming stopped.
Then the screaming stopped,
but they didn't die,
did they, Francois?
What difference does it make?
Oh, oh, it makes a difference.
Why now all of a sudden?
Because it happened again.
They tried to poison her,
this preacher in the woods.
She looked her poisoner in the eye
and she drank the poison,
and it had no effect on her.
Now, look, once, yes,
maybe you can call it luck.
Twice, in my eyes, that is divine grace.
[FRANCOIS] No, you don't
believe in anything.
And what if that's the problem, hmm?
What if God
put me in these
ridiculous robes only to have the truth
revealed to me by a simple peasant, hmm?
Jesus Christ.
Don't let Mother hear you
talk like that.
She'll cut your balls off, or I will.
♪
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Just the man I wanted to see.
And why is that, my lady?
I thought you'd have much to
regale me with after your trip.
I couldn't tell you about that.
They'd, uh, cut my balls off
and serve them on toast.
What's left of them.
God knows they, uh, eat everything else.
What if I make it worth your while, huh?
♪
How was jolly old?
Weather was shit.
♪
Food was shit.
♪
What about the company, hmm?
[CATHERINE] I called
all of you here today
because I believe that Queen Elizabeth
may have taken a hostile
position towards France.
[LOUIS SCOFFS]
I see no reason
to make that presumption.
In fact, as I told the Queen Mother,
it was my studied opinion
that Queen Elizabeth
hopes to be a friend to France.
And it is my studied opinion
that the Second Prince of the Blood
may be thinking with the wrong
part of his anatomy.
Therefore, Charles,
you must sign a temporary decree
banning all English ships
from crossing the Channel.
On what basis?
Prudence.
A temporary ban
would halt the supply
of any weapons or equipment
that may aid and abet
a Protestant uprising in France.
Charles?
We have other, more urgent
business to consider.
What could be more urgent
than the defense of our kingdom?
I think it should be your
trustworthiness we debate here,
not that of the Second Prince
of the Blood.
You may bring in the witness.
[DOOR CLATTERS OPEN]
♪
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT]
♪
[CHARLES] Montmorency
has found a witness
who will prove that you,
Mother, planned and carried out
an extrajudicial assassination attempt,
thereby undermining my authority
and jeopardizing the peace.
♪
You may speak.
Go on.
I mixed a powerful poison
so someone else could slip it into
the drink of the Protestant leader.
On whose orders?
The Queen Mother's.
[MONTMORENCY] Hmm.
[ANGELICA] Aabis,
the Queen Mother's seamstress,
had access to Edith
and was the one
that carried out this plot.
♪
I speak only the truth.
♪
[CHARLES] I'm only sorry
my mother involved you in this.
You are a loyal servant to the crown.
♪
Your Majesty, I, for one, am shocked
that the Queen Mother
could display such disloyalty.
Shocked? How many fingers
did she leave you with?
And to think the Queen Mother
had the temerity
to question my character.
It's just sad, really, isn't it?
- Mm.
- Mm.
Mother, what do you have
to say for yourself?
You have made it clear
you do not respect my judgment.
But to think you would proceed
on such a course
without consulting me
I'm deeply disappointed
by your betrayal.
You are quite right.
I must admit my guilt.
In my overzealousness
to protect my children,
I overstepped.
And I only hope that you believe me
when I say that my intentions were good.
However, considering my misjudgment,
I feel it is in the best
interests of the council
that I resign from my post immediately.
- What?
- Really?
[CHARLES] But why?
Well, clearly, it is time for me
to withdraw
from governmental duties
and concentrate
on being a better mother.
I-I mean, there's no reason
to rush into anything, right?
Have faith in yourself, my dear boy.
It is time.
♪
Oh, there is just one more thing, um,
my last official act, if you like.
I wonder if you would honor
a mother's wish by
healing the rift between her sons.
I have in my possession a letter,
a confession from one of Anjou's friends
saying that he was responsible
for Hercule's death.
You see, Anjou allowed himself
to be led astray,
and he is eternally sorry.
He should be released.
And you have this letter?
I-in my chambers.
I am happy to show it to the king.
- [CHARLES SIGHS]
- We will consider the matter.
I was addressing my son.
♪
If this letter exists, it will be done.
♪
Your Majesty.
♪
Just leave it on the chair and fuck off.
[PIGEON COOING]
[CATHERINE] I see you have not
taken well to solitude.
♪
[ANJOU] You know, I can see
everything from up here,
every petty betrayal,
every ugly display of vanity.
[CATHERINE] You need a bath.
Oh.
Well, I thought, if I'm gonna
be a political prisoner,
I might as well dress the part.
Next week, I'm going on hunger strike.
And I was hoping you would
tell me how sorry you were
for your brother's death.
Of course I am.
[CATHERINE] And not only his.
Every lake in France has a drowned
Protestant child in it.
Mother, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry for all of it.
I hope so.
Because your king needs you.
The threat of war has never been closer.
And I'm concerned about some
of the influences around him,
Montmorency, for one.
And I was hoping
that you could be persuaded
to temper his influence.
I'd love to, but it's a bit difficult
now that I'm locked up in my room.
It had occurred to me
that perhaps you are not
entirely responsible
for what happened to Hercule.
You may have been led astray
by your friends,
one friend in particular
Lemur.
That's his name, is it not?
Are you sure it's not
the other way around?
[CATHERINE] He has already confessed.
What?
Why would he do that?
Because then you would be free
to take your rightful place
beside your brother
on the Privy Council, where you belong.
♪
All you have to do
is sign his confession.
♪
Mother, he's my best friend.
♪
[CATHERINE] I'll leave it
with you to consider.
♪
You see, I needed their rivalry
to maintain the balance of power.
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[HORSE NEIGHS]
[SHEEP BLEATING]
All new pilgrims are welcome.
[LOUIS] So I see.
Since the Black Queen
tried to have me killed,
my people insist on protecting me.
It seems selfish not to indulge them.
Abundance of caution it's wise.
It is a blessing to meet you.
Yes. Hallelujah.
To what do I owe the pleasure
of such prestigious guests,
the Bourbon Princes of the Blood?
Um, we're-we're actually traveling
somewhat incognito at the moment.
[LOUIS] Yes, for the time being,
best keep this between us.
- Mm.
- Mm.
We come with an offer of mutual benefit.
The House of Bourbon
shares your complaints
against the House of Valois.
We feel your pain.
And we would like to offer
our friendship.
And support.
Material support, not just words.
Though not publicly.
No, we must wait
for the right time to do that.
You see, we have a silent
partner in our endeavors.
Queen Elizabeth has made
an overt commitment
to our cause through me.
I am her man in Europe.
And with my backing, there is no limit
to how far your movement might go.
How generous of you.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
Though I think your partner
is not as silent as you think.
She landed in Flanders a day ago.
- Sorry?
- W-what?
No, you must you must be mistaken.
She landed with a small escort
but with weapons
to help supply
the Protestant rebels
led by the Prince of Orange.
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT]
You didn't know?
It's not much
of a partnership, then, is it?
Yeah, well, it's-it's a it's a
it's a fluid situation,
of course, you know?
It's, uh, ever-ever-evolving.
[HENRI] Her courier has probably
been delayed in informing you, Uncle.
Yeah, that's right.
Then you may send her word
that my people need protection too.
We will accept weapons and supplies.
And in turn, we will fight
alongside these rebels of hers
when the final struggle comes.
Final struggle?
Sounds a bit ominous.
How else do you think this ends?
Tell me
Antoine
♪
[LOUIS] Mm.
are you a true believer?
[ANTOINE] Um
y-yeah, yeah, of course.
[EDITH] You understand I have
to be sure of your commitment.
[ANTOINE] Mm-hmm.
Do you know what the purpose of life is?
Um
no, I don't.
To transcend suffering
Oh.
so we may pass freely
into the next life.
Right.
It is only through sacrifice
that we may be free.
OK.
What have you sacrificed, Antoine?
Um
♪
it-it-it's subtle.
♪
[EDITH] Aabis, would you mind
helping Brother Antoine
demonstrate his commitment?
♪
What-what-what do you think
you're doing?
I feel Antoine
would understand us better
if he had experienced
what we have, don't you?
[ANTOINE GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY]
[EDITH] When has he ever shown
compassion for his fellow man?
Wouldn't he benefit from understanding
what it is to suffer?
[ANTOINE GRUNTS]
♪
Aabis, please, you know
I've always liked you.
Who are we to deny him that knowledge?
- For fuck's sake! No!
- [LOUIS] Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- No, no, no, no. Get off!
- [EDITH] Are you a sinner?
No!
[EDITH] Only the flames
will purify your soul.
Are you a sinner?
Yes, I've sinned!
How have you sinned?
I will know if you lie.
I'm fucking Antoinette again.
Sometimes-sometimes
I pretend to be useless
so Louis has to do all the work.
Fuck! God!
I lie! I steal!
Please, for fuck's sake!
[GROANS]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
What the fuck is this?
♪
Like I said,
we will all be purified
in the flames eventually.
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪
Thank you all so much for coming.
♪
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
♪
[DOOR CLATTERS OPEN]
[ANTOINETTE] Have I told you
how nice it is to have you back?
You haven't, actually.
And I see I'm not the only one
who's pleased you've been released.
I didn't know you'd struck up
such an intimate friendship
with Princess Margot.
♪
Could be useful.
No.
You're full of surprises, aren't you?
I always thought the love of a
good woman would sort you out.
Like Antoine has sorted you out?
As it happens,
Antoine is remarkably talented
in certain ways.
Don't you have friends you can talk to
about that sort of thing?
No.
I did when I was younger,
one girl in particular.
We used to play such wonderful games
and share all our secrets,
hours in the woods
being animals in the mud.
Oh, it was truly magical.
♪
Hmm, these things must come to an end.
Games?
Friends.
♪
- Mother.
- [ANTOINETTE] Hmm?
Margot,
she's off-limits.
Do you understand me?
Of course.
I'm not a stone without feelings.
♪
[PERSON GRUNTING]
[BREATHING HEAVILY]
Anjou!
Help me!
Can we get on with this, please?
You bastard!
You fucking bastard!
[WHIMPERING]
[ANJOU]
What's wrong with you today?
Huh?
[CARDINAL GUISE] I can't stop thinking
about that Sister Edith
and how she keeps cheating death.
Just snap out of it. Stop.
I can't
because everything is making me
think about it, OK?
This here,
it's making me think about it.
That girl and her followers
should all be killed immediately.
If for nothing else,
it can stop all this hysteria.
Has it ever occurred to you that she
just might be
on a mission from God, hmm?
[BLADE SHINGS]
No.
You missed it.
Did I?
There's something seriously
wrong with your brother.
- I'm aware.
- Oh, you're aware?
Well, what are you gonna do about it?
I don't know.
But we have bigger problems.
Apparently, the English landed
in the Netherlands last night.
I'd call that an act of war,
wouldn't you?
Fuck.
♪
[LOUIS] It's starting to smell.
[ANTOINE SNIFFS] Ugh.
♪
[LOUIS] Oh. [CLEARS THROAT]
♪
[CHARLES] What's wrong with him?
Uh-uh, nothing.
Careless around the fire.
Look, Charles, I know in the past,
I've been apparently
a bit of an asshole,
and you've taken a real risk
inviting me to join the Privy Council.
So now that I've had
some time to reflect
not by choice, of course
I'd just like to say
that I am here to help.
I don't want you
to regret your invitation.
[CHARLES] So what are you suggesting?
How do I respond to Queen Elizabeth
landing in the Spanish Netherlands?
What are my options?
I only see one.
You show that bitch who's boss
and you send her back
to that miserable island she came from
before she develops a taste
for foie gras.
The Holy Roman Empire
has requested that France
grant safe passage for her army
to fight Queen Elizabeth's
powers in the Netherlands.
Our troops should join them.
It's clearly the only option.
[MONTMORENCY]
No, it's not the only option.
If you do as the duke and Anjou suggest,
French Protestants will mobilize as well
and join Queen Elizabeth's forces.
The war will spread.
In addition, we don't even know
Queen Elizabeth means war.
As I'm the only one in here
who's actually met her,
I'm sure she's only here
as a peacekeeper
to prevent more harm to the Protestants
who, need I point out,
have been targeted recently.
Honestly, I'm not just saying this.
She's a wonderful woman.
Once things have calmed, she'll go home
with a few Dutch mementos.
- Clogs, Gouda.
- Exactly.
What, like she's here on holiday?
She came with a fleet of ships
and a load of weapons.
To assure her safety, I'm sure.
But without word to us.
So we meet her men with ours.
All true patriots
will join the French army.
And those who don't,
well, we can do without.
Look, come on, Charles.
Obviously, this has gone on long enough.
I mean, if we'd have cleared
that homeless encampment
in the woods when I told you,
the English wouldn't even be here.
But they are, so let's not make
the same mistake twice.
Your Majesty, may I suggest another way?
Sit down with Edith and hear her out.
You can lessen the anger
of her followers
so they won't be as likely to join
the struggles in the Netherlands.
Then Elizabeth's true
intentions will be revealed.
[ANJOU] So just to be clear,
you'd like the king
to meet with the person
that's responsible
for our brother's death?
In my opinion, the person responsible
for Hercule's death is now
seated at the Privy Council,
no matter what your mother says!
[LOUIS] Hear, hear.
[MONTMORENCY] There are
no easy choices here,
but there are prudent ones.
Do we even know if she
would be willing to meet?
I will persuade her.
[ANJOU] Really?
Well, that's very kind of you.
It's funny, sounds like you
think you're running things.
I cannot be rushed towards any choice.
♪
I need time.
♪
[FRANCOIS] Right.
Reminds me of his father.
Thanks for all the help.
Come on, let's go.
- [GROANS]
- Sorry, sorry.
[ALESSANDRO] Upon your suggestion,
I instructed the draftsman
to extend the new wing to the river.
You are distracted.
I fear we will soon be at war,
and my children are not
prepared for what lies ahead.
I've tried to buy them time,
but it's no use.
Subterfuge has only made things worse,
and a treaty no longer
holds appeal for my enemies.
You are forgetting
the most important one,
the weakness of the human heart.
You mean love?
Or at least marriage.
Even if I could conceive
of an appropriate match,
either the Bourbons
or the Guises would disapprove.
Then make sure they don't know
about it until it's too late.
And the simplest way to do that
is to show people what they want to see
so they don't notice the thing
they don't want to see.
♪
[CATHERINE] I approve.
♪
[ELISABETH]
Wealth, however modest,
grows through careful deployment
if it is entrusted
to a responsible guardian.
[GASPS] Oh.
♪
I admire your dedication.
Well, no harm, I suppose.
Apparently, this was his favorite.
I can understand
why he would find your voice
so soothing,
my sweet child.
♪
You were always the most
generous of my children.
♪
Well, it brings me happiness
to be of use.
♪
You seem troubled.
And the most observant child.
I am indeed troubled.
Spain and England are preparing for war.
Thousands will die.
How awful.
Is there no way to make peace?
♪
Now that you mention it,
marriage is the traditional means
to quiet the drumbeat of war.
Well, then there's your solution.
♪
But who would marry
a man in his condition?
♪
Him?
Yes.
♪
His father is desperate
for someone to care for him.
♪
If we could answer his wish
and form a union to confirm
our commitment to his Catholic empire,
then war could be averted.
♪
I have always said that I would
never force my children to do anything.
But destiny has determined
that we hold the fate
of thousands in our hands.
Not to mention
that his future wife
would be queen of one of the
most powerful empires in Europe.
♪
I will leave it with you
to consider the matter.
♪
[DOOR CLATTERS OPEN]
[DOOR BANGS SHUT]
[RAHIMA] Courtesy of Ruggieri.
I wouldn't drink any if I were you.
You know the assignment.
Make sure they think of nothing but you.
There's only one rule.
♪
No one gets pregnant.
♪
You're back.
A gift from your uncle,
wine from his vineyards in Tuscany.
He has his own vineyards?
Of course he does.
Would you like to
assume the position?
♪
[FRANÇOISE] A gift
from the Duke of Florence,
straight from his vineyards.
Oh, God, I loathe these old-world wines.
♪
Though I suspect this particular vintage
will have a certain subtlety
with a degree of panache.
♪
What's this?
A gift from the Duke of Florence.
♪
Tell him I'm not interested.
♪
But he insists.
♪
In that case, you better come in.
♪
A gift from the Duke of Florence.
♪
So what are you supposed to be, then?
♪
A virgin from across the Channel.
♪
Boy or girl?
♪
Let me in, and you shall find out.
♪
Catherine.
I, uh, sense fornication in the air.
If that is the purpose
of your visit,
I'm afraid you've arrived
about six years too late.
I'm sorry to hear that.
[CHARLES V] Mm.
But I might have found
a solution to our problem.
♪
[CHARLES V CLEARS THROAT]
[AMBASSADOR CLEARS THROAT]
As the first Prince
of the Holy Roman Empire
is, uh, temporarily incapacitated,
a stand-in is required under papal law
to consummate the marriage.
Yes, yes, yes, get on with it.
[BREATHING SHAKILY]
Yes, that will suffice. Don't you agree?
Oh, more than adequate.
Our two kingdoms are joined
in peace and love,
the generosity of which
I have never seen.
You have raised an angel.
Hmm.
[APPLAUSE]
[CRICKETS CHIRPING]
[BIRD CALLING, WATER BUBBLING]
[PERSON] Bless you.
Who else is ready to be rebaptized
into the true faith?
Only those washed of their sins
will survive in the end of days.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[ETHEREAL CHORAL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Are you ready to renounce all sin?
♪
I am.
Then I welcome you.
♪
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[HORSE NEIGHS, INDISTINCT CHATTER]
You may not know it now,
but one day, you will thank me.
Either he will revive
and owe you everything,
or he will stay like that
and never trouble you.
♪
You'll be under the protection
of the Holy Roman Emperor.
It is arguably the best marriage
a mother could hope for her daughter.
♪
But I will miss you.
♪
[BREATHES SHAKILY]
Goodbye, Mother.
♪
[SOBBING SOFTLY]
♪
[HORSES NEIGHING]
♪
[GASPS]
♪
I hope you know I would never
survive a political marriage.
[CATHERINE] I'm aware
you are not your sister.
In fact, I don't think I see
the benefits of any marriage.
Don't be such a cynic.
[CHARLES SIGHS]
You slept late.
I slept all day
because you made sure of it.
[MARGOT] Could have been
her maid of honor at least.
She would have liked
putting me through that.
So it's true, my big sister's gone?
Once again, you go behind my back.
[SIGHS] A concerned mother
is allowed to arrange
her children's futures
the best she can.
It's been that way since time
began, and besides which,
peace is worth a wedding.
Well, I hope she'll be happy.
Of course she's not gonna be happy.
She's gonna spend the rest of her life
attending to a man in nappies.
The Bourbons won't stand for it.
No, but at least now
we won't have to march
on the Protestants
because they'll come for us.
No, they won't,
not when they see
who's coming to marry the king.
["I FEEL LOVE" PLAYING]
♪
[SIGHS]
♪
[DONNA SUMMER] Ooh ♪
It's so good, it's so good ♪
It's so good, it's so good
It's so good ♪
Fuck me.
[DONNA SUMMER] Ooh ♪
I'm in love, I'm in love ♪
I'm in love I'm in love ♪
Hmm. What a lovely home.
♪
[DONNA SUMMER] Ooh ♪