True Jackson, VP (2008) s02e05 Episode Script

True Jackson VP was filmed in front of a live studio audience.
Hey true! I thought you had school today.
I do, but my printer at home is busted, and I've got a report due.
Do you want me to print it? That would be great.
Here's my flash drive.
Oh, what's this? I made my super-secret fiesta dip.
Don't ask me the secret ingredient.
It's lime.
One time my dad made this dip and my mom was all, "Larry, what's that stink? Take it outside!" Even the alley cats wouldn't eat it.
Do I smell fiesta dip? My favorite.
I'll never know what you put in it to get that lime taste.
Mmm, delicious.
Morning, Mr.
Madigan.
Good morning, true.
What are you doing here? Oscar's just printing out some homework for me.
That's right.
Now, where did I put your flash drive? That's weird.
It was right here.
Mr.
Madigan, you didn'.
Oh, no, my boss ate my homework.
What's wrong, gumdrop? You look sad.
Those jerks on the cheerleading squad kicked me off the team.
Why? They said I was lazy and didn't want to go to practice.
Well, how often is practice? I have no idea.
All I know is they do it really early.
No, thank you.
They can't do that to my girlfriend.
I'm not your girlfriend.
Okay, let's not have this argument again.
We're like an old married couple.
So what are you gonna do? I don't know.
I'll think of something.
My middle name is revenge.
I thought it was Leslie.
Huh! Ha.
I kinda told you that in private.
Hey, Lulu.
You gotta do me a favor.
Sure.
What do you need, a nickel? I want you to join the cheerleading team.
Yeah, I'm not gonna do that.
Come on.
Kelsey got kicked off the squad.
I just need you to take her place, and then right when they're depending on you the most, you just walk away.
That's so mean.
Don't think you can make the squad? Of course I can.
Check out this move.
Go panthers, go panthers.
Go, go, go panthers.
Who are the panthers? Aren't we the panthers? We're the lions.
Miss park, this is mz boss, Mr.
Madigan.
How do you do? Show-and-tell is on thursdays, true.
No, he's here because something crazy happened, and I was a little bit worried you wouldn't believe me.
Try me.
He ate my homework.
I don't believe you.
See? It's true.
Miss parkIs it? I got a little overzealous with my chip consumption this morning, and, well, crunch.
My flash drive is taking a vip tour through Mr.
Madigan.
I see.
Detention.
Me? No, him.
She can do that? She can do anything.
From my head to my toes it's all real and you know fresh and cool it's just what I do t-r-u-e j-a-c-k-s-o-n v-p working at a grown-up job I never really knew I could work this hard just used to sit at home and watch tv now I'm in an office as the new vp I'm always setting trends with my two best friends when things get out of hand we have a plan we're just messin' around and we're makin' new ground for the whole wide world to see if you see us in town you know it's goin' down 'cause I'm the new vp .
Pass.
Next.
Name? Ryan "cheerleader" laserbeam.
I thought your middle name was Leslie.
No, it's spelled that way, but it's pronounced cheerleader.
Are you ready? Let's do this.
You're in.
I am? We think you're awesome.
So do I.
Hey, someone playing with the lights? Hello, everyone.
Shall we get started? I'm sorry.
Is it backwards day? Mr.
Madigan told me I'm in charge.
You mean you're in charge of telling me I'm in charge.
No, he said, "true, you're in charge today.
" Uh-huh, uh-huh.
And what were his exact words? Those were his exact words.
Well, it's clearly open to interpretation.
He gave me an agenda for the meeting today.
Item one: Kopelman, get rid of that.
Item two: We have to decide on our favorite concept for the couture line and have it overnighted to Paris.
Item three: I'm serious, Kopelman.
Any questions? Amanda? Yes, where in the world is Max? He's in detention.
How long do we have to sit here? Are you talkin' to me? Yes.
Well, I am not talkin' to you.
I think we're switching this guy to decaf.
I've always wanted to say that.
Now, I think we're all agreed that these two are the best.
Personally, I like the funky evening gown in red.
So unless anyone has any objections I prefer the classic pleated design in two shades of black, black and off-black.
Well, I hate to pull rank, but remember, Mr.
Madigan left me in charge.
Well, I don't care what you think you heard.
I am in charge.
The fire marshal wants to talk to whomever's in charge.
That would be true.
Who's the fire marshal? Captain o'bannon.
He's the fireman who makes sure the office is up to code.
Oh, can it wait? We're not really done here.
Uh, true, you do not keep the fire marshal waiting.
He could make life very hard for us.
Okay, I'll be back in a minute, everyone.
Please read your books quietly while I'm gone.
That's what the substitute at our school always says.
We're not at school.
Ow! Who threw it? I'm telling.
How often is that trash emptied? Every morning.
From now on, I want it emptied every hour.
We don't want this lobby going up like pompeii.
Wasn't pompeii started by a volcano? Nope, overflowing trash can.
Look it up.
Hi, I'm True Jackson.
Are you in charge? Sort of.
Listen, we're kind of in the middle of something that has to be done right away.
So is there any way you could come back? Come back? Are you telling me that you don't have time for fire safety? Oh, no, it's just we have a lot of work to get done.
You know what else didn't have time for fire safety? The Titanic.
I thought that crashed into an iceberg.
Nope, fire in the engine room.
Look it up.
Hey.
Oh, hey, gumdrop, what's going on? What's going on is I heard you took my spot on the cheerleading squad.
Well, technically it's not your spot.
You were already fired.
Kelsey, wait, no.
Look, it's all part of the plan.
Wt plan? My plan of revenge.
I made the team so I could betray them.
You mean you're gonna sabotage their routine in front of the judge today and ruin their chances of going to nationals? To what? I mean, yes.
And when I succeed, you'll be so psyched, you'll want to make out with me, right? Whatever.
Better than a no.
I couldn't help but notice that tattoo on your arm.
It's chinese for destiny.
I don't think so, it's peculiar.
What is? The word.
That's the chinese character for peculiar.
Where did you get it? At a tattoo parlor.
What tattoo parlor? Just a tattoo parlor downtown.
What kind of establishment would give a tattoo to a minor? How do they get insured? I don't know, man.
Well, the application of needles would dictate some sort of compliance with local standards.
It just doesn't make sense.
Well, it happened.
Well, where is this place located? I don't know.
You don't know? How could you not know? I mean, presumably, you were with your arm when they It's fake, okay? It's fake.
It is? Yeah, but don't tell anyone.
I got a reputation.
Your secret's safe with me.
Thanks.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
I sleep with a night light.
I won't tell anyone.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What do ya call this? Looks like a box.
A box, huh? Just like the box that killed Lincoln.
Lincoln was killed by John wilkes booth.
Nope.
It was a box full of oily rags next to a dry wall, just like this one.
How do you know it's dry? Look at that.
Oh yeah, that is dry! Hey, true.
Whoa, nice ax.
Thanks.
You a fireman? No, I'm a mailroom guy.
More like death-room guy.
You know how many fires are started in mailrooms across the country each year? Yeah.
Oh, hey, true, you know that parcel you've got going to Paris? I'm gonna need it soon.
I'm trying.
Look, sir, I really don't have enough time to check out every box you see.
Oh, well, maybe you just want me to write down my findings and be on my way? Now you're getting it.
Oh, no.
What's it say? It says he's shutting us down.
What am I gonna do? Don't worry, true.
I'm sure it's just an empty threat.
These offices are officially closed for business.
Well, at least no one knows it's your fault.
And you can thank True Jackson.
He didn't say which True Jackson.
The one in the break room.
I'll be right back.
While I'm gone, no talking, no texting, no phone calls.
Don't worry.
I'll keep an eye on these two.
Watch the door, will ya? Give me a signal if you-know-who comes back.
You got it.
Hello.
How's it going there, true? Oh, couldn't be better.
We're all in the office which isn't shut down.
We're working away.
So how's detention? Awesome.
Awesome, detention? We put a bug in miss park's soup.
She almost ate it.
I thought I was gonna throw up laughing.
Sounds great.
Now, don't forget to get the final sketch out to Paris.
It's very important.
I know.
Which one did you choose? Well, we've narrowed it down to caw-caw.
Miss park's coming, gotta go.
What was that sound? There was a very sick bird on the windowsill.
I think I speak for us all when I say, "get well, bird.
" Lulu, what am I gonna do? We have to get that design to Paris.
How? That crazy fireman shut down the office.
I've got an idea.
Ow.
Sorry, it's all clear.
Can I help you there? Oh, no, no, no, just cleaning up, and it's not just a job, I hate trash.
Yeah, well these offices are shut down on account of some little snot-nose couldn't keep her yap shut.
Hey! Kids these days.
Am I right or am I right? You said it.
What are you gonna do? What can you do? Can't do nothin'.
So have you seen that room where they keep the wood chips and the gasoline? Sweet criminy.
That's what brought down the Berlin wall.
Come on, I'll show you.
Great job, Ryan.
Really? Thanks.
Don't forget.
The judge to qualify us for nationals will be here in two hours.
Don't be late, okay? Punctuality is my middle name spelled Leslie, pronounced cheerleader.
Ryan.
Oh, hey, gumdrop.
Stop calling me gumdrop.
And what's the deal? It hardly looks like you're sabotaging the team.
No? No, it looks like you're trying harder than humanly possible.
No, it's just all part of the plan.
So we can make out, right? We'll see.
Yeah, I heard that.
What are you doing? None of your business.
Why are you squinting like that? So I can see what time this stupid day is gonna end.
I hear talking.
I think it's coming from outside.
On't snow me, Madigan.
I'm not snowing you.
I merely thought I heard someone in the hallway calling your name.
But if you choose not to believe me, the ceo of a major corporation, well, that's your prerogative.
Sucker.
Say, moose, do you need eyeglasses? No.
There's no shame in wearing glasses, son.
Here, try mine.
Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Everything's so clear.
That's a desk and that's a window.
And chainsaw's here.
'Sup.
'Sup.
These are amazing.
Keep 'em, kid.
I've got a spare.
Hurry up.
I'm trying.
Which one do you like better? Uh, the black one.
The black one? But don't you think the red one looks funky? Yeah, funky bad, like, "oh, boy, these clams taste funky.
" Hello.
Who took down this tape? I'll bet the wind blew it off.
I don't feel any wind.
Well, not now, but it was blowing like crazy a minute ago.
I was all, I wish I had a kite.
What are these? Dress designs.
They have to pick one to go to Paris.
Which do you like better? Oh, I don't know anything about dresses.
But if I had to pick, I, uh, I'd go with the black one.
Red one looks funky.
Oh, come on! What are you doing here? I shut this office down.
Oh, you were serious? What I say, goes.
Now get out! You know, my whole life I've always looked up to cops and firemen.
But you're just a bully.
Come on, Lulu.
Lulu? I'm not Lulu.
Your mustache is crooked.
Yeah, well, that's only because I [Bell rings.]
Detention is over.
Try not to be animals tomorrow and maybe we won't have to do this again.
A word, miss park.
I don't know you very well, but I do feel like I know Jeremy and Todd.
Who? These guys.
Chainsaw and moose? I'm sure their appearances can be a bit off-putting, but I challenge you to look beyond your preconceived notions and judge these young men fairly.
And if I choose not to? Then your life will be a little less enriched.
That's a chance I'm willing to take.
Good day, miss park.
You're okay, Mr.
Madigan? Thank you, Todd.
Hey, you feel like hanging out with us after school? Ah, I'd love to.
You like vandalism? On second thought, I think I'll take a rain check.
What's everyone doing in the lobby? Power-mad fireman kicked us out of the office, and why are you in a cheerleader uniform? I'm a cheerleader.
Okay.
But I have a little bit of a problem.
Would you mind giving us a moment? Just me? Yeah.
So I only joined the squad to mess 'em up, to get even for them kicking off kelsey.
That's terrible.
Yeah, I know.
Especially because now I really like 'em.
They work really hard.
They're supportive of each other.
Do you know there's no "I" in team? So what's the problem? The problem is kelsey's not gonna make out with me unless I go through with the plan.
Ryan, do you hear yourself? Yeah, you're right.
If I have an opportunity to make out with kelsey, I owe it to myself to do whatever it takes.
Thank you, true.
I want to talk to you.
What now? Are you gonna condemn the bench I'm sitting on? Please? Lulu, could you give us a moment? When I was a kid, my mother set fire to the kitchen.
I don't know how.
She was making cereal.
Within minutes, the firemen were there, and one of them looked me in the eye and asked if I was okay.
And in that moment, I knew I wanted to be a fireman too.
But that's not the guy I was today.
And I'm sorry.
Um, o'bannon, the falafel place across the street is on fire.
In a sec, son.
So we're good? We're good.
I should probably get going.
Man, I sure hope they get that fire out.
Me too, Jimmy.
'Cause otherwise I have to walk four blocks for a falafel.
Seems like a giant hassle.
You know the rules.
Unless all of your members are here, you're disqualified.
We know.
What do you think you're doing? Helping my squad make nationals.
You do and you can forget about me ever going out with you.
I know, but I can't let down my team.
There is no "I" in win.
What? Let's do this.
I wonder why Mr.
Madigan didn't want to come with us.
You don't think he likes vandalism, do you? I hope not.
Man, I hate vandalism.
Hello, everyone.
Hi, Mr.
Madigan.
I trust you had no problems handling the office today, true? Uh, problems? Nah, just a boring old day at mad style.
And you got the design off to Paris? Yes, I sent the red one.
Oh, good, that was my favorite.
It's funky, like day-old clams.
That's odd.
My wi-fi is picking up someone's flash drive.
Here, true, I believe this is your homework.
Now, where did my phone go?