Tschugger (2021) s02e05 Episode Script
Pentagon
Golden ecus! Who wants to buy gold ecus?
Damn it, Pirmin. You can't be dead now.
You have to be there for your wife and child.
They need you now, you have to change the diapers.
You can't run away from it
What the hell
You were more than a partner to me.
You are my only friend.
And your mango chutney was the best!
Was it?
Pirmin?
Your only friend?
Pirmin, are you alive?
The bulletproof vest is still nice.
I thought you were dead!
There was an exchange of fire. They are on the fifth floor, room 503.
I think I have a broken rib.
Damn, you shot me in the arm,
I don't want to hear any more.
Is everything all right?
All is well.
Bax and the other one, the fat guy, what's his name again?
- Who, Pirmin? -Yes, right.
Come on, they can't be far away yet. Come on, come on.
I'm going to check the other side.
Shit, she's leaving.
Come on, we have to follow her
Thank you.
Come now!
-She's still driving
worse than you!
-Shut up!
Bax, do you think I've gotten fat?
No, you're just strongly built.
Well not strong You know what I mean?
Do you smell alcohol?
No.
We are trying to save the Valais and you are drunk?
Even in this state I still shoot 100% better than you.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Because you think so hard that I shoot like shit,
I really shoot like shit.
Why can't you
believe in me?
Because you shot me in the arm, you fat prophet!
So now I'm fat, am I?
No, you're not fat, Pirmin.
Shit. Shhh.
She stops.
Hello, ladies.
I am the king!
A little more Yes
I can't do it, Mrs. Brotz.
Really?
I knew you would need my help one day.
Come on, untie us now.
Did you get beaten up?
-Hello?
-Yes, Annette.
Pirmin, where are you?
Gerda has the key and brings it to the sect.
-Shit.
-They're going to dynamite.
Where are you?
To the statue of Christ the King.
But we won't make it alone.
Don't worry, I'll bring reinforcements.
Mrs. Brotz?
Yes, she's on our side.
What a piece of shitCome on, I have an idea.
We need weapons.
Lots of weapons.
Hello.
Thank God you're here.
I didn't know there was a dress code for the rave party.
Ouch, my rib.
Hi there.
Tell me when you see Gerda.
Be quiet, they are watching.
Of course they're watching, look at you.
Anyway, now we have to get the key.
Is it Gerda?
No, look at those sausage fingers.
Do you think so?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
♫ his wife
♫ and the wives of his -
Really now?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
And suddenly I heard.
With such a raucous sound, it must be Scheggi's unbridled bike
or Didi from bowling.
Is it Didi?
The one in the bowling alley?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
-♫ his wife -Didi?
Didi, is that you?
Holy shit!
What the hell is this?
Didi, you love the Valais, don't you?
The Rotten, the mountains, the wine? Why do you want to destroy that?
The Valais is not what it used to be.
-That's bullshit, Didi! -No, believe me,
people are blinded by mass tourism
and poisoned by the pharmaceutical industry.
Bullshit, you're a fucking fabulist, Didi.
We give a new start
a new start for the Valais.
A new beginning? Millions of deaths. And your friends?
I'm surrounded by friends here.
♫ The waters flooded the land
Stop it!
Don't believe Didi, he fell
from a balcony onto his head
when he was a kid.
He's a little crazy.
Didi! Don't do that! Didi, come on!
Let's have a glass of wine together at the Frohheim. Didi!
♫ With his sons' wives
What the fuck! What's that?
Remove the key!
-♫ The waters flooded the land -Thank God!
Don't do that!
Get the key out of there!
Chill Wave.
And suddenly,
it went up my nose.
Apricots on lavender.
Tchibo magazine, 20%.
I can smell the perfume from here, Gerda.
Take off your fucking mask!
Shit!
I never wanted it to end like this.
You broke my heart
So whatever, shoot me.
Bax, no!
Even though it was difficult for me to see
my great love in this state,
it helped me.
For I had reached the point
where I knew
that there would certainly be nothing left between Gerda and me.
Bax! The access to the explosives site has been blocked.
We can't do anything! We can't get in!
We can't get in! This thing is going to blow up in our faces!
What if we tried
through the water?
There are flood channels.
No chance, Bax! They are 25 meters under water.
Without special equipment, you won't be able to access it.
It's impossible, even for Tom
Cruise.
Believe me, I was born with special equipment.
And anyway,
I don't have a good opinion of scientology people.
A good policeman
always has a pen on him.
♫ Thirteen stars, our coat of arms thirteen stars, red and white,
♫ Thirteen stars also has Valais - because it's also my homeland.
♫ Thirteen stars, which have edges like the people of the Valais
♫ Thirteen stars our coat of arms you will not find more beautiful stars.
Sorry, they said you were going to sleep a little longer.
That's why I took your Dänemark cup.
A delight! After all, you owe me a bulldozer,
you owe me a bulldozer.
What happened?
You almost drowned.
They fished you out of a hot tub in Leukerbad.
Did you never learn
to swim at school?
-Pirmin. -Bax!
What happened?
-How are you doing? -What about the dam?
What dam?
The one they wanted to dynamite?
Bax! You're a fucking hero! You saved the Valais!
I don't get it.
The other one there says I drowned in a hot tub.
This is the official version. Instructions from the top.
From the Pentagon?
No. Federal Council.
They had to make a diplomatic decision
to keep the story secret.
It would be bad for Switzerland and for Italy.
There is no winner.
The image damage would be too great on both sides.
And what about my image damage?
You couldn't think of a better story
than drowning in a hot tub?
Apparently not. And it was
in all the fucking papers.
Everyone will have forgotten about it.
Accident in a hot tub.
Yesterday, a police officer almost drowned
in a hot tub in Leukerbad.
This is the same policeman
who was involved in the case
the "Kinderbrätscher" case
a few weeks ago.
Yes, Michelle, I would say
that karma has struck.
It may well be
It's important that no one learns the real story.
Yes.
Bax, can I introduce you to someone?
BJ.
BJ?
Yes, because of you. Bax Junior.
You know what BJ stands for, don't you?
Shit!
I thought it reminded me of porn sites.
Yes, so it's like that
A good policeman
doesn't need a gun,
an identity card
or a uniform.
A policeman needs one thing above all
need one thing:
good friends.
And he always has a pen on him.
Couldn't you just stick your little dick in there?
And what about Annette? Are you with her now?
Bax, we have to go.
So, don't forget: Don't cross before the wheel
stops.
Hello.
Shitty police officer.
-How was it? -Great!
Did they remember the zebra song?
Yes, the zebra song went over pretty well.
Listen to it.
I know you'd really like to tell this story to someone.
But you know that
we'd both go into
the witness protection
protection program
if it came out.
And I really don't want to
It won't come out.
Stay cool.
Come on, your BJ is waiting.
If Biffiger had seen how we worked together
the last few days,
how we were there for each other,
he would have seen that his work was bearing fruit.
He made us, literally, one unit.
But Diego wouldn't say he was proud of us.
Diego never did that.
He would drink a glass of white wine first
and then say:
"Good job, colleagues!
Good job!"
And
"Fear no one, but respect everyone."
Amen.
The audience is cordially
invited to the aperitif after the funeral.
The aperitif is offered
by the Federal Council.
By the Federal Council?
Tell me, did you smoke pot before coming to the funeral?
It's because of the tears.
All this is very hard on me.
That's what I always liked about you.
You are a man who knows how to show his emotions
and doesn't hide behind them.
Valmira, did you see?
2.5 million views.
Was it your Indians? -No. It went completely viral.
Sit in the Panda, dollar bills, money, money Check it out.
Valmira
Gucci, Gucci, Prada, Prada.
Something stinks here, did we stop changing diapers?
That was a pretty good herb you gave me the other day.
What did you do?
The exceptional situations
require exceptional measures.
It was just a little bit of grass.
In 10 years, he'll be addicted to the needle.
Will you give me back BJ?
Look, now he's crying.
Pirmin,
you made a very good impression
last time at the bowling alley.
I've never seen Diego so proud before.
Come on, Ludi, ask him.
We are looking for
one more person
for our bowling club.
I'm not sure, now that I have a child
Come on, honey, that would have made Daddy happy.
I'll think about it.
Ms. Brotz, is this a handicapped parking space?
It's a "space for people with special needs."
And what are
your special needs?
I wanted to take care of a delicate flower
that I damaged.
That's not enough. I have to fine you.
Do you pay cash or do you want an invoice?
Bax, writing fines is not your job.
I'm very impressed with what you've accomplished.
Call me when you get to Bern.
We can sip coffee from a plastic cup.
Nice try. But you won't get off that easy.
That's 40 francs.
And I don't walk around the city like that.
Okay, Bax, goodbye.
Ms. Brotz
I know you fished me out of the hot tub.
Thank you.
"I don't walk around the city like that."
She invited you on a
a date.
No, she didn't.
Of course I do.
-You think so? -Yes, I do.
Yes, but
It takes at least 2.5 hours by train to get to Bern.
And I don't know the city.
Do I have to
to spend the night in a hotel?
You're still playing hard to get as a cop,
but when it comes to women,
you shit your pants.
You certainly don't have anything to say to me about women.
Right now you'll be changing diapers for two years
and set up your boss's office.
-I said no. -How could you? How? Why?
Because I prefer to be on the street
with my partner
than in an office.
Does that mean you're going to be on my ass all the time?
Yes.
Finally at 60%.
Regina is working too.
-Does she want to teach again?
to do the class again?
-Yes.
Maybe you should go back to the school library instead.
You were doing
very well there.
Ah, fuck you!
What are you doing with your phone?
-Do you have a half price?
-Why do I need a half price?
I'll get you a train ticket to Bern.
No way.
Give me that.
Stop it.
I'm certainly not going by train,
I'll take my car.
Have you ever looked at his carbon footprint?
That's not possible nowadays.
What? 100 francs in second class?
That's very expensive. Forget it,
I won't go to Bern.
Shit I'm sorry!
What should I look for, man?
The road is ahead of me.
I don't know what to look for!
Not looking Swearing!
I have a memory lapse.
You tell us now
You tell us
Tell us, how
I can't pronounce that.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Beginner.
So unsocial!
I love the Valais
No, sorry!
Damn it, bug.
What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?
Damn it, Pirmin. You can't be dead now.
You have to be there for your wife and child.
They need you now, you have to change the diapers.
You can't run away from it
What the hell
You were more than a partner to me.
You are my only friend.
And your mango chutney was the best!
Was it?
Pirmin?
Your only friend?
Pirmin, are you alive?
The bulletproof vest is still nice.
I thought you were dead!
There was an exchange of fire. They are on the fifth floor, room 503.
I think I have a broken rib.
Damn, you shot me in the arm,
I don't want to hear any more.
Is everything all right?
All is well.
Bax and the other one, the fat guy, what's his name again?
- Who, Pirmin? -Yes, right.
Come on, they can't be far away yet. Come on, come on.
I'm going to check the other side.
Shit, she's leaving.
Come on, we have to follow her
Thank you.
Come now!
-She's still driving
worse than you!
-Shut up!
Bax, do you think I've gotten fat?
No, you're just strongly built.
Well not strong You know what I mean?
Do you smell alcohol?
No.
We are trying to save the Valais and you are drunk?
Even in this state I still shoot 100% better than you.
This is a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Because you think so hard that I shoot like shit,
I really shoot like shit.
Why can't you
believe in me?
Because you shot me in the arm, you fat prophet!
So now I'm fat, am I?
No, you're not fat, Pirmin.
Shit. Shhh.
She stops.
Hello, ladies.
I am the king!
A little more Yes
I can't do it, Mrs. Brotz.
Really?
I knew you would need my help one day.
Come on, untie us now.
Did you get beaten up?
-Hello?
-Yes, Annette.
Pirmin, where are you?
Gerda has the key and brings it to the sect.
-Shit.
-They're going to dynamite.
Where are you?
To the statue of Christ the King.
But we won't make it alone.
Don't worry, I'll bring reinforcements.
Mrs. Brotz?
Yes, she's on our side.
What a piece of shitCome on, I have an idea.
We need weapons.
Lots of weapons.
Hello.
Thank God you're here.
I didn't know there was a dress code for the rave party.
Ouch, my rib.
Hi there.
Tell me when you see Gerda.
Be quiet, they are watching.
Of course they're watching, look at you.
Anyway, now we have to get the key.
Is it Gerda?
No, look at those sausage fingers.
Do you think so?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
♫ his wife
♫ and the wives of his -
Really now?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
And suddenly I heard.
With such a raucous sound, it must be Scheggi's unbridled bike
or Didi from bowling.
Is it Didi?
The one in the bowling alley?
♫ The waters flooded the land
♫ And Noah entered with his sons
-♫ his wife -Didi?
Didi, is that you?
Holy shit!
What the hell is this?
Didi, you love the Valais, don't you?
The Rotten, the mountains, the wine? Why do you want to destroy that?
The Valais is not what it used to be.
-That's bullshit, Didi! -No, believe me,
people are blinded by mass tourism
and poisoned by the pharmaceutical industry.
Bullshit, you're a fucking fabulist, Didi.
We give a new start
a new start for the Valais.
A new beginning? Millions of deaths. And your friends?
I'm surrounded by friends here.
♫ The waters flooded the land
Stop it!
Don't believe Didi, he fell
from a balcony onto his head
when he was a kid.
He's a little crazy.
Didi! Don't do that! Didi, come on!
Let's have a glass of wine together at the Frohheim. Didi!
♫ With his sons' wives
What the fuck! What's that?
Remove the key!
-♫ The waters flooded the land -Thank God!
Don't do that!
Get the key out of there!
Chill Wave.
And suddenly,
it went up my nose.
Apricots on lavender.
Tchibo magazine, 20%.
I can smell the perfume from here, Gerda.
Take off your fucking mask!
Shit!
I never wanted it to end like this.
You broke my heart
So whatever, shoot me.
Bax, no!
Even though it was difficult for me to see
my great love in this state,
it helped me.
For I had reached the point
where I knew
that there would certainly be nothing left between Gerda and me.
Bax! The access to the explosives site has been blocked.
We can't do anything! We can't get in!
We can't get in! This thing is going to blow up in our faces!
What if we tried
through the water?
There are flood channels.
No chance, Bax! They are 25 meters under water.
Without special equipment, you won't be able to access it.
It's impossible, even for Tom
Cruise.
Believe me, I was born with special equipment.
And anyway,
I don't have a good opinion of scientology people.
A good policeman
always has a pen on him.
♫ Thirteen stars, our coat of arms thirteen stars, red and white,
♫ Thirteen stars also has Valais - because it's also my homeland.
♫ Thirteen stars, which have edges like the people of the Valais
♫ Thirteen stars our coat of arms you will not find more beautiful stars.
Sorry, they said you were going to sleep a little longer.
That's why I took your Dänemark cup.
A delight! After all, you owe me a bulldozer,
you owe me a bulldozer.
What happened?
You almost drowned.
They fished you out of a hot tub in Leukerbad.
Did you never learn
to swim at school?
-Pirmin. -Bax!
What happened?
-How are you doing? -What about the dam?
What dam?
The one they wanted to dynamite?
Bax! You're a fucking hero! You saved the Valais!
I don't get it.
The other one there says I drowned in a hot tub.
This is the official version. Instructions from the top.
From the Pentagon?
No. Federal Council.
They had to make a diplomatic decision
to keep the story secret.
It would be bad for Switzerland and for Italy.
There is no winner.
The image damage would be too great on both sides.
And what about my image damage?
You couldn't think of a better story
than drowning in a hot tub?
Apparently not. And it was
in all the fucking papers.
Everyone will have forgotten about it.
Accident in a hot tub.
Yesterday, a police officer almost drowned
in a hot tub in Leukerbad.
This is the same policeman
who was involved in the case
the "Kinderbrätscher" case
a few weeks ago.
Yes, Michelle, I would say
that karma has struck.
It may well be
It's important that no one learns the real story.
Yes.
Bax, can I introduce you to someone?
BJ.
BJ?
Yes, because of you. Bax Junior.
You know what BJ stands for, don't you?
Shit!
I thought it reminded me of porn sites.
Yes, so it's like that
A good policeman
doesn't need a gun,
an identity card
or a uniform.
A policeman needs one thing above all
need one thing:
good friends.
And he always has a pen on him.
Couldn't you just stick your little dick in there?
And what about Annette? Are you with her now?
Bax, we have to go.
So, don't forget: Don't cross before the wheel
stops.
Hello.
Shitty police officer.
-How was it? -Great!
Did they remember the zebra song?
Yes, the zebra song went over pretty well.
Listen to it.
I know you'd really like to tell this story to someone.
But you know that
we'd both go into
the witness protection
protection program
if it came out.
And I really don't want to
It won't come out.
Stay cool.
Come on, your BJ is waiting.
If Biffiger had seen how we worked together
the last few days,
how we were there for each other,
he would have seen that his work was bearing fruit.
He made us, literally, one unit.
But Diego wouldn't say he was proud of us.
Diego never did that.
He would drink a glass of white wine first
and then say:
"Good job, colleagues!
Good job!"
And
"Fear no one, but respect everyone."
Amen.
The audience is cordially
invited to the aperitif after the funeral.
The aperitif is offered
by the Federal Council.
By the Federal Council?
Tell me, did you smoke pot before coming to the funeral?
It's because of the tears.
All this is very hard on me.
That's what I always liked about you.
You are a man who knows how to show his emotions
and doesn't hide behind them.
Valmira, did you see?
2.5 million views.
Was it your Indians? -No. It went completely viral.
Sit in the Panda, dollar bills, money, money Check it out.
Valmira
Gucci, Gucci, Prada, Prada.
Something stinks here, did we stop changing diapers?
That was a pretty good herb you gave me the other day.
What did you do?
The exceptional situations
require exceptional measures.
It was just a little bit of grass.
In 10 years, he'll be addicted to the needle.
Will you give me back BJ?
Look, now he's crying.
Pirmin,
you made a very good impression
last time at the bowling alley.
I've never seen Diego so proud before.
Come on, Ludi, ask him.
We are looking for
one more person
for our bowling club.
I'm not sure, now that I have a child
Come on, honey, that would have made Daddy happy.
I'll think about it.
Ms. Brotz, is this a handicapped parking space?
It's a "space for people with special needs."
And what are
your special needs?
I wanted to take care of a delicate flower
that I damaged.
That's not enough. I have to fine you.
Do you pay cash or do you want an invoice?
Bax, writing fines is not your job.
I'm very impressed with what you've accomplished.
Call me when you get to Bern.
We can sip coffee from a plastic cup.
Nice try. But you won't get off that easy.
That's 40 francs.
And I don't walk around the city like that.
Okay, Bax, goodbye.
Ms. Brotz
I know you fished me out of the hot tub.
Thank you.
"I don't walk around the city like that."
She invited you on a
a date.
No, she didn't.
Of course I do.
-You think so? -Yes, I do.
Yes, but
It takes at least 2.5 hours by train to get to Bern.
And I don't know the city.
Do I have to
to spend the night in a hotel?
You're still playing hard to get as a cop,
but when it comes to women,
you shit your pants.
You certainly don't have anything to say to me about women.
Right now you'll be changing diapers for two years
and set up your boss's office.
-I said no. -How could you? How? Why?
Because I prefer to be on the street
with my partner
than in an office.
Does that mean you're going to be on my ass all the time?
Yes.
Finally at 60%.
Regina is working too.
-Does she want to teach again?
to do the class again?
-Yes.
Maybe you should go back to the school library instead.
You were doing
very well there.
Ah, fuck you!
What are you doing with your phone?
-Do you have a half price?
-Why do I need a half price?
I'll get you a train ticket to Bern.
No way.
Give me that.
Stop it.
I'm certainly not going by train,
I'll take my car.
Have you ever looked at his carbon footprint?
That's not possible nowadays.
What? 100 francs in second class?
That's very expensive. Forget it,
I won't go to Bern.
Shit I'm sorry!
What should I look for, man?
The road is ahead of me.
I don't know what to look for!
Not looking Swearing!
I have a memory lapse.
You tell us now
You tell us
Tell us, how
I can't pronounce that.
Sorry, I'm sorry.
Beginner.
So unsocial!
I love the Valais
No, sorry!
Damn it, bug.
What the fuck is that? What the fuck is that?
What the fuck is that?