Turbo FAST (2013) s02e05 Episode Script

1 - # Whoa! - Woo! # Those snails are fast - # Turbo - F-A-S-T # That's the team you'll never beat Turbo, he got super speed Whiplash, he jets to the lead Skidmark, propeller flow Chet's safe, he'll take it slow Smoove Move with them speakers, baby Burn burnin' that fire crazy White Shadow, big with no fear Now you know the team is here There they go, gone in a flash - # Those snails are fast - Turbo # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # - # Those snails are fast - Whoa! # Those snails are fast, fast, fast, fast, fast - # Turbo - Woo! # Ah, I love the flea market! A snail with three dollars is a king here.
Ooh.
You have foldable money? Come check out my wares! I have everything you want at prices so low, you'd swear it was stolen! Do you have any rare historical artifacts? Of course I do! This is Abraham Lincoln's electric razor! - And this is Da Vinci's stapler! - Ooh, I'll take 'em! Excuse me, I noticed you're asking $500 for this priceless jeweled egg.
Now, I'm a snail who appreciates a good deal on priceless antiquities.
So, I'm willing to offer as much as two dollars.
Two dollars? All right, all right.
Let's say two dollars and this button.
I have never been so insulted! You, sir, make me sick! It's a deal.
Hey, Chet, would you say this yo-yo is more "retro" or "metro"? Who cares? It's only ten cents! I say it's a deal.
Hey, I saw it first! Come on.
The flea just told me that yo-yo belonged to Napoleon! - Dibs! - Give it! Let go of my yo-yo! I saw it first! Whoa, check it.
- It's some kind of old map.
- But to what? There are only three things old maps ever lead to: treasure, wormholes through space, or secret societies of albino vampire monks.
In any case, we're in for some fun! But how are we supposed to read this? Only thing I recognize are all these toads.
Well, I guess we better go ask the only toad we know.
Oh, no, no, no, you don't mean They call me "Marty" I bring the party I rock the guitar And something that rhymes with "guitar" Martin Jeremiah Toadsworth, stop with all this racket! You've got visitors.
And when are you gonna clean this room? I said later, Mom! Sheesh, get off my back.
Hey, it's you dudes! Bring it in here, you slimeballs.
Marty, the reason we're here is, we found this old map in a yo-yo, and Hey, this thing's written in Aztoad.
Makes sense with a yo-yo.
Toads love yo-yos.
- Oh, yeah, look at it go! - So, you can read what the map says? Yeah, well, I'm a little rusty, but it looks like you go through all this junk here to find some sort of Great Aztoad Treasure.
The Great Aztoad Treasure? Whoa.
Imagine what we could buy with a treasure all to ourselves.
Let's upgrade that tomato burger to medium size.
And give yourself a nice, big nine percent tip.
We gotta find that treasure! Well, you dudes are gonna need to bring someone along to translate the map and junk, you know? Good point.
Uh, Marty, do you know anyone else that can read Aztoad? Seriously, anyone at all.
Nope, I'm it! Just let me grab my air guitar.
I can tune it on the way.
Who's been messing with this? Somebody's been messing with my air guitar.
That's it.
That's the "E" I'm looking for.
Congratulations.
Now do you mind checking the map? Oh.
Oh, right.
Well, looks like we start right about there.
Yeah! Whoo-hoo! This better be one amazing treasure.
Dang, look at all these pipes.
Good thing we have a map.
Gah! What are you doing? Oh, right.
That's my bad.
But don't worry.
I can just read these markings on the pipes.
This one here says, "Enter.
" Aztoad treasure here we come! Ya-hoo! "Do not enter.
" Ha! That's what I get for ditching all those Aztoad lessons.
Pretty sure this other one here says "Enter.
" Or maybe "banana.
" Either way Yeah! Sweet Mother of Milk! What kind of dunderheads designed this bridge? Ha-ha, hey! Toad bridge! Yeah! Whoo-hoo! This thing is a death trap! Well, for you guys.
Skid, if I don't make it across, do me a favor.
Throw out the shoe box under my bed and don't ask any questions.
- What's in the shoe box? - I said don't ask questions! - Hey, guys! - Marty, stop! Check this out.
I found a rock that kind of looks like my butt.
Catch.
We're gonna die! And I'll never get to see what's in your shoe box! Uh, you do know we have snail bellies, right? Oh.
Ha.
Right.
This'll be easy.
Little help? First! Make way for the windmill! Careful! This place might be booby trapped.
Hey, guys! I think I found a trip wire.
I bet this triggers the booby traps.
Maybe I should touch it and find out.
Marty, do not touch that wire! Eh I think I should touch it.
You know, just to make sure.
If you touch it, we could all be goners! Yeah, you know, I'm just gonna touch it.
Hey, guys, I was right! That wire totally triggered the booby traps! Oh! Whoo-hoo! Whoo! All right! Yeah! Aw! What is with you toads and yo-yos? They rock and roll, that's what! Well, that one's about to roll right over us.
That was one big yo-yo, yo.
Oh, no, we're trapped! This is one of my top 50 biggest fears! I gotta get out of here! Relax.
We'll just ask this friendly local for directions.
To pass, you must answer the following riddle.
- At a toad party - Whoo! Toad party! one in every seven guests brings a party tray with three kinds of chips and three kinds of dips.
If there are 49 toads at the party, how many combinations of chips and dips are there? I got the answer! Who cares? Math is boring! Is that your final answer? No, wait! It's 441! Final answer! Wrong! The correct answer is: "Who cares? Math is boring!" Aw, dude, I totally had it! Whoo-hoo! Skidmark, you've gotta save us! Oh, hello! He bailed on us like a total coward! That's my move! And I just know he's gonna look in my shoe box.
Hey, he wasn't running away.
He was running to save us.
Uh, sure.
Let's go with that.
How do we stop this thing? I don't see any brakes! Brakes? You kiddin' me with that? - This was designed by toads.
- So what does that mean? It means hold on to your butts, because this ride's getting "toad-ally" crazy! Oh Watch your head.
Ow! Oh! Oh, I think I'm gonna lose my lunch! Yeah, there it goes.
I thought you was gonna barf.
Dang! What was in there? - It was barf.
- That is it! - I want off this whack track! - You got it, buddy! Yeah! Let's go again! We made it! The Great Aztoad Temple! We're gonna be swimming in treasure! Wait.
Before we go in, I just want to say that I've had the time of my life hanging out with you solid dudes.
And maybe that's the real treasure, you know? Finding my new best friends.
Just open the dang door already! This guy! Always with the doors, right? Whoa! What a treasure! Is that poop? Not just poop.
It's manure.
The fanciest kind of poop! This junk attracts the tastiest flies! Yeah! No.
No! There must be something else in there! So, after all that, there was no real treasure? Well, maybe Marty was right the first time.
That our friendship was the real reward.
What? That's dumb! Well then, maybe the journey was the reward.
- That's even dumber! - Fine.
I guess the only thing to take away from this is that it was a big ol' waste of time.
- How are we gonna get out of here? - Took the words out of my mouth.
Oof! Hey! What's this trash doing here? Ew.
This stuff don't stink at all.
Numero dos! No onions! Now I know working on a Saturday is not ideal, but, hey, it's better than rummaging through musty, old antiques with the other guys, right? Yeah.
Not like I appreciate the fine craftsmanship of early American woodworking or anything.
I'll take a day at the taco stand over haggling with Chet any day.
Always tryin' to buy things with a button.
Beans! Shadow, I said "beans.
" Shadow? Ooh, if he's napping on the job again, he's gonna get it! Huh.
Well, that could get confusing.
Ugh, What? The toilet's overflowing into what? What are we going to do now? I can't afford that.
Oh, no! That lady left her baby! Hey, lady! You forgot this! Seriously, Harold? Toilet's don't clog themselves.
You're being so quiet back there, sweetie.
You're normally crying up a storm by now.
I gotta go after her, but where am I gonna put you? Well, there's only one responsible thing to do in this situation.
Hey, Turbo! Watch little chica while I'm gone, okay? Baby.
Why did it have to be a baby? - What's wrong with babies? - Aw, man! They give me the heebie-jeebies! They're just so pink and hairless.
And wrinkly like a Shar-pei.
And they just stare at you for uncomfortably long periods of time.
Whatever you do, don't look 'em in the eye.
That's how they steal your soul.
O-o-o-okay.
Well, clearly he's not babysitting.
Looks like it's just you and me, Burn.
Why? 'Cause you don't think I can take care of this thing on my own? - I never said - I get it! You're on Chet's side.
Chet's side of what? Thinks we're not ready to get a pet together 'cause I'm not nurturin' enough.
I'm plenty nurturin'! Okay, I have no idea what you're Well, I'll show him I can nurture the heck out of any stanky, little creature! All right, baby.
You ready to be sat on? Hey, I'm doin' it! I'm babysitting! Ugh.
This is so boring.
Why isn't it doin' anything? Besides sitting here, staring at Whiplash.
Oh, I can feel its eyes! Stop lookin' at me! That's it.
I gotta get out of here.
Use your words! I don't know what "uh-uh-uh" means! Uh, I think she wants something from her stroller.
The baby wants treats.
I knew that! See! Now get out of here, Turbo.
I don't need your help.
I got this.
Are you sure? Don't make me burn you in front of this baby! Leaving this helpless child with you is a totally good idea.
'Cause I believe in you.
But in case anything goes wrong and you need help but why would you but in case it does, I'll be in the park.
Okay, bye! Hey! Watch the lashes, droolie.
Hey, lady! Huh? You stopped it up, you clean it up! Uh-oh.
Well, at least I still know which car to follow.
Ooh! Are we playing follow the car? Because I'm pretty much the best at this game.
Oh, great.
It's back.
Uh-oh.
What happened? Nothin'.
I'm just here to rub my nurturin' in your dumb face.
Watch this! Sit! Shake! Roll over! Good girl! So you need any help yet? No! This is just a game we play.
Good baby.
Yeah, keep cryin', just like we practiced.
Ahh! That sound! It does things to me! Stop bein' such a baby! Quit cryin' right now, you snot-nosed butt-scooter! Look, I'm sorry, baby.
Sometimes Burn gets angry.
Oh, it's okay.
Ooh, look at this! Go get it! Uh, here.
Look at the pretty flames! Okay, okay! I'm callin' it.
How about you take a little break? I get it, Whip.
Babies, man.
They're monsters! Don't tell Chet about this.
Oh, your shameful ineptitude is safe with us.
All we need is a little can-do spirit and some positive vibes to cheer this little lady right up.
She's just a sweet, little baby.
What harm could she do? Whoa! Ow! Ow! Ow! Tomatoes are money! Okay.
All right.
You know what? How about we stay away from the Watch out for the Turbo Museum! Oh, come on! Not the Teen Rec Center! Where's Tito with your mom? Eenie-meenie-minie-mo.
Catch a zebra by the nose.
Some other words that sound like "nose.
" And that is the car! That one! Thanks, little guy.
I was never gonna find the right car on my own! Miss! Miss! You forgot your Uh We win! Hooray! Here's your prize! - We gotta find that lady.
- Lady? I feel like I'm missing something here.
Oh! There she is! But she's going the wrong way! I got this.
Epic car chase! Whoa! Whoa! But we just had it serviced! Do we still have the warranty? I cannot believe this.
Whoa! Oh, no! Hello, lady.
Whiplash! Help me! Listen up now, you big baby! You may have the world fooled into thinking you're cute and innocent, but you ain't gonna get me with those big doughy eyes and smile like the sunrise.
I must love and protect this beautiful child.
That's right.
Follow Papa Whiplash.
- You okay? - Yeah.
I think I swallowed some of her puke.
Ugh! Well, buck up.
We're in the clear.
Looks like big, scaredy Whiplash is a real baby whisperer.
There you go.
A nice safe place to play where you can't destroy anything.
All right, listen up, crew.
I have a bold statement to make.
I am keeping this baby.
I'm gonna call her Lydia after my momma.
Yes, you are Whip's good little girl, aren't you? Papa Whiplash is gonna love you forever! Oh! Oh, my little darling! Oh, Mommy is so sorry! I'll never leave you ever again! And you! What is wrong with you? You left my precious baby with a bunch of bugs? Bugs? Those are snails.
I wouldn't leave a baby with bugs.
That'd be crazy.
You'd think she'd at least say thank you.
Did you miss your daddy, Potato? Yes, you did.
Yes, you did.
What a fun day! Took a super sweet nap, didn't have to work, got to drive the taco truck, and was 100% responsible for reuniting a mother with her baby.
You okay, Whip? Are you kidding me? I'm glad to be rid of that stinky, slobbery, cryin' thing! Now get on the track! We're gonna run laps until the hurt inside me ends! The hurt inside me never ends.
Oh, it ended!