All Creatures Great And Small (1978) s02e06 Episode Script

(Mooing) There, Tim, one torn teat as good as new.
Thou's right handy with needle and thread, Mr Herriot.
Just the same, don't haul on it for a few days.
My Jenny'll be milking her and that lass has got a lovely touch.
Come with me, Mr Herriot, l'll show thee summat.
- Hello, Jenny.
- Hello, Mr Herriot.
What a monster, Tim! (Tim) Aye, she's a beauty, l'll not deny.
- What'd you say she weighs? - Oh, l couldn't guess.
- 20 stone? - 25'd be nearer mark.
Ee, l love to watch 'em grow.
Just listen to the way she sucks her grub! lt's music to me ears, Mr Herriot.
(Slurping) James.
Don't stare like that.
What? Oh, sorry.
lt's just she reminds me of something.
lt's a marvellous place, Siegfried.
When did it open? The club has been here for a long time but this enterprise opened in June.
Friends of Mrs Pumphrey.
We're here on her recommendation.
- Bonjour messieurs dames.
- Ah, bonsoir! With the compliments of Madame Pumphrey.
- Mrs Pumphrey? - Oui, monsieur.
She has telephoned to say you must have the lobster.
(Waiter) Magnificent - straight from Scapa today.
ln which case she insists you must drink the Sancerre, which l personally recommend.
Really, this is not necessary.
Please, monsieur, do not disappoint the lady - she was insistent, she asks only that you drink the health of (Coughs, mutters) Oh, how very kind of her.
Ah, oui.
C'est excellent.
Er De qui? A qui? Whose health are we to drink? Ah, you are a man of the world, l can tell you.
Elle est formidable, Madame Pumphrey.
Vous m'étonnez.
Savez-vous, par hasard le nom de ce gentilhomme oriental? l believe his name is Señor Woo and it is to his health you must drink.
He must delight the lady very much.
Ah, the ways of the Orient are strange to us.
Then we have no alternative.
Helen, gentlemen, please drink with me to an intimate friend of Mrs Pumphrey.
And it will be the lobster, yes? Er, if that suits.
Helen, James? - Please, yes.
- Tristan? The lobster it is.
- Monsieur, you won't regret it.
- Merci, very much.
He thinks Mrs Pumphrey has a gentleman follower.
Chinese.
- Tricki Woo! - Exactly.
Mm, this wine's wonderful.
Oh, l am enjoying myself.
Here here.
What's the occasion? What are we celebrating? lt's time you learnt that to enjoy life you don't have to have an occasion to celebrate.
lt's because we rarely eat out together.
Tristan's very worried about the practice.
How very thick of me.
No need to worry, Mrs Hall's been well bribed to relay urgent messages here and since you're officially on duty Oh, all right.
Ask a silly question.
Oh, do get a move on, George.
- Won't be a jiffy, old thing.
- l'm not your old thing.
Tie up that beastly boat or there won't be any lobster left.
Oh, thank you.
Coming! What an absolute stunner! That's a matter of opinion.
Good evening, Julia.
- Oh, hello, Siegfried.
- How are your parents? Mummy's in Harrogate and Daddy - can't account for him.
- Oh, here l am.
- My God, it looks too divine! l warn you, George, if we're too late - Oh, l say, hail and farewell.
- (Siegfried chuckles) lf you'll allow me, Mademoiselle.
Mademoiselle's things.
She's, er, awfully pretty, Tris.
Mm! (Siegfried) lmpeccably bad manners, product of one of our finest finishing schools.
Thank you.
Tristan.
- Tristan.
- Hm? Sorry.
- Who is she? - She's out of your bracket.
Her father's Dick Tavener, made millions on Tyneside building ships.
l like the man.
Can't stand the mother, just like her.
Mm! lt not only looks divine Delicious.
- Hope she gets some too.
- Do you? Why? For poor George's sake.
l love these Sunday mornings in summer.
Beautifully relaxing.
Nothing much to do.
- Wish l was doing it with her.
- Who? - Julia, of course.
- Oh.
l don't care what Siegfried said and he was being foul about her, l thought she looked a ripping girl.
- Nothing wrong with her looks.
- Probably sour grapes.
- Sour grapes? - Siegfried.
He was probably after her and was repulsed.
- An interesting theory.
- l've made up my mind to meet her.
- Have you? - Yes.
The poor girl's in need of suitable male companionship.
The way my adrenaline's pumping, l'm probably the answer to her prayers, eh? - l'm speechless, Tris.
- Thought you might be.
There's only one difficulty - how do we make initial contact? We? l may need help - it's no good asking Siegfried, is it? - So if you've any ideas.
- Anything for true love.
Thanks.
- Ah, James.
- Mm-hm? You haven't forgotten we're going to the Messiah? Oh! No, of course not.
What time? Two o'clock sharp.
Right.
What's in the diary, Tris? Not much.
A couple of errands.
Mrs Broadwith rang, wants you to look at Miss Stubbs' dog.
- She has three dogs.
Which one? - She said Prince.
- Oh, that poor chap.
- What's wrong? The most spectacular case of valvular incompetence ever.
- What else? - Only a cow at Bellerby's.
- That's splendid! - What? The Bellerbys are only three miles above Corby - they'll be going to the Messiah early by pony and trap so you'll be back before 12.
(Church bells ringing) (Dogs barking excitedly) (James) Hello, Mrs Broadwith.
Sorry to call you out on Sunday, Mr Herriot - it's Prince.
He's been coughing right bad and he were a bit staggery.
lt was sensible of you to call me.
Come on through.
Here's Mr Herriot, dear.
Hello, Miss Stubbs, how are you? - Much better, thanks.
- Good.
- lt's Prince we're worried about.
- Come on, Ben.
Come on, Sally.
And you two.
- There.
- Thank you.
- He still eats well.
- l bet he does.
Take something drastic to put Prince off his grub.
lt's all right.
There's a good dog.
What's the verdict, Doctor? A credit to you both.
But l'll give him a couple of injections.
One to steady his breathing and one to steady his heart.
He may be a bit dopey for the rest of the day but don't worry, it all helps.
(James) Mr Bellerby? Mr Bellerby! - Anyone at home? - (Mooing) Ahh, you're the patient, are you? Right, let's get started.
- Oh, Mr Herriot.
- Hello, Miss Bellerby.
- l'm right glad you came.
- Not at all.
No trouble.
lt's not really the cow - you could do us such a favour.
Yes, of course, if l can.
You name it, Miss Bellerby.
The Messiah at Darrowby church.
Oh, l'm going myself.
Are you really?! That's lovely! - Do you want a lift? - Oh, if you don't mind? - lf it's no trouble.
- No, not a bit.
l wouldn't ask but it's such a trouble with pony and trap.
lf you can give us a ride down we can always get a lift back.
lt's just Mother and me and Dad goin'.
- Bob's not interested.
- Fine.
We're just havin' a bit of dinner, - come across when you're ready.
- l'm almost ready now.
Oh, then l'll wait for thee.
Good.
(Moos) lt's all right, Mum, Mr Herriot'll take us.
Oh, that is a treat.
What that rough road does to my rheumatics in the trap.
Yes, it's a bit of a brute.
Sit down, you're just in time for some dinner.
- That's awfully kind but - Oh, you won't say no? No, l'd like to stay very much but l said l'd be back and Mrs Hall gets upset if l'm late.
(Mother) Quite right, love.
Not many men are that thoughtful.
You sit yonder by the wall, Mr Herriot.
- Thank you.
- Great, Mum.
- Can l have a carrot? - Aye, l'll get one.
Sure you won't change your mind, Mr Herriot? Yesabsolutely, thank you very much.
Right you are.
(Dog barks) By Jove, Mrs H, that smells simply wonderful.
Aye, well, so it should.
(Sighs) When are we going to eat it? Half an hour.
Mr Herriot back yet? Any minute now, l should think.
- That's the stuff.
- Aye.
There we are.
Won't be long now.
You know, it's not right, Mr Farnon.
- (Sighs) - What isn't, Mrs Hall? l reckon if l were one of them Roman lot, they'd say l was in a state of mortal sin or summat like that.
Really, Mrs Hall? Pride? Nowt to do with pride.
Vicar should change time of morning service.
l miss the blessing to save the beef.
- That never occurred to me.
- lt would if you went to church.
- l do, Mrs Hall - Not as often as you should.
l reckon the good Lord makes allowances.
lf the good Lord ordains that l have to deal with a misplaced calf bed Sunday morning, - l'm sure my immortal soul - Not your immortal soul, the beef - He doesn't ask for burnt offerings these days.
lt's downright wicked to spoil a good sirloin by overcooking.
l absolutely agree! As long as He does, l'm not complaining.
(Cutlery clinking) 'Ey, that were a lovely bit of beef, Mother.
- Plenty left, help yourself.
- No thanks, Mother.
You, Bob? - Oh, aye, l wouldn't mind.
- Three helpings is enough! That's right.
Leave room for apple pie, eh? Oh, l am sorry, Mrs Hall.
l can't think what's keeping him.
He's whetting his whistle at the pub.
- Oh, he wouldn't.
- Why ever not? (Helen) But l told him, you were there! - Yes, but you know how he is.
- Shut up, Tristan! He wouldn't be late if he could help it - it's an emergency.
- (Door slams) - Must be! (Snoring) Scrubbed, shaved and changed.
Weren't long, were it? - No, splendid.
- Oh, look at our Bob.
- Right, after you, ladies.
- Mum, he's nowt but a disgrace.
Lying there in his muck, not caring.
Listen to him, snoring like a pig! lt fair makes me blood boil.
- Leave him be.
- No, Mother, me mind's made up.
- He's coming with us.
- Look, l'm sorry but You see, it's my lunch.
lf l don't get going now Go on, go on! And hurry up! Don't keep poor Mr Herriot waiting.
(Chuckles) (Sighs) Oh, dear.
- l'm most terribly sorry - l'm not foolish.
- Good ale at the pub? - No, nothing like that! lt's in the oven, beef you could sole your boot with.
- But Mrs Hall - Can't wait, l mustn't be late.
Mrs Herriot's none too pleased either.
Can't say l blame her.
(Choir) .
He was despised .
Despised and rejected .
Rejected of men .
All women can be unreasonable at times, even the very best of them.
- Really? - And it can vary in degree.
lt can lead to the breakdown of the marriage.
Marvellous.
l don't know how l ever got along without you.
lt's good, juicy stuff, you don't even have to read between the lines.
(Telephone) No, no, don't strain yourself.
l'll get it.
(James) Hello, Darrowby l see, yes.
What are the symptoms? l'll be out as quick as l can.
(Tristan) Anyone out there? (James) Bye.
- Who was it? - Oh, um - Mr Tavener.
- What did he want? Tavener! You mean?! Julia's father?! Tris, it's a Staffordshire bull terrier with rheumatism.
l don't need any help.
(Dog whimpering) Dick, for heaven's sake, don't grip the poor thing so hard.
(Dick) Sorry, old girl.
l never like to crowd a patient.
- Shall we go outside? - Aren't you needed? Well, Herriot's getting very good with dogs.
l let him manage on his own when he can.
All right, if you say so.
Oh, ever such a nice garden! - Dick, you're hopeless.
- Oh, it's nobody's fault.
When a dog has rheumatism, especially in a muscular breed, every movement can be agony.
- ls there nothing you can do? - Yes.
- This should do the trick.
- What is it? - lt's a drug called Novalgin.
- Oh.
You didn't get any lobster? - No, l was absolutely furious.
- l should think so.
- l'd give Jacques a piece of my mind.
- Hmm? Jacques Legrand, little frog who runs the place.
- He wouldn't do it to me.
- There was no lobster.
- My dear Miss Tavener - For God's sake, call me Julia! Very wellJulia.
My name's Tristan, by the way.
Seriously, these chaps are no fools.
When it comes to the spécialité de la maison they always keep a small reserve forgood customers.
And you are a good customer? - Care for a gasper? - No, thanks.
Um, since you didn't get any lobster perhaps you'd allow me to, um erbuy you - Julia! - Yes, Mummy? We ought to go now, darling.
Coming! l've got to run Mummy down to Darrowby.
- You can give me a lift.
- What about your partner? Well, l'd much prefer your company.
(Engine starts) There they go.
Ah, look at that, Herriot, she's a different dog already.
lt works very quickly.
Take one now and repeat every four hours.
- What are they? - They're like aspirin.
You'll notice a big improvement.
My wife blames me.
l chuck sticks in the river for Dilly.
Keep her out of the water for the next few days.
- Of course.
- (Barking) Getting better.
Good old Dilly.
You deserve a whisky, Herriot.
Oh, thank you, sir.
- Soda? - Just as it is, please.
Am l mistaken or has young Farnon taken a shine to my daughter? lt's just possible, l imagine.
She's a very lovely girl.
She's thoroughly spoilt, l'm afraid.
Tell him to watch his step.
No, he's old enough to look after himself.
Yes, yes, yes.
At my age one forgets.
- Well, here's mud in your eye.
- Cheers.
l'm very much a man's man, Herriot.
Never understood women, not even my own.
But l'm not old yet and it's no good pretending l'm not rich.
Beatrice and Julia can have everything they want.
l can afford to indulge my hobbies.
Fine paintings, old clocks, good whisky.
And you needn't think l'm not attracted to women.
Trouble is l don't attract them.
l can't see why.
A simple fact - l bore them, Herriot.
Beatrice and Julia can have everything.
They get it, too.
And what's the result? Two perfectly discontented women.
And it's a bloody shame.
l'm so awfully fond of 'em both.
Yes, it is a shame.
That's life, old chap.
This summer will be just like the last.
Pack them off to Antibes for a couple of months and be here in time for the opening of the grouse season.
- Do you like shooting? - Not so much for its own sake.
But l don't know it gets something out of my system.
- You're married, are you? - Yes.
- Happily? - Very.
Good.
l can talk to you, you must come again.
- l'd like to very much.
- (Phone rings) Must try and choose the right chap for Julia, she'll pick a bad hat in the end.
Tavener.
Ah, Siegfried.
How's the world treating you? Splendid.
Yes, he is.
Hold on.
Thanks.
Hello, Siegfried.
No.
No, any panic? Oh, l see.
Yes, that's no trouble at all.
l can be there in 10 minutes.
- Bye.
- Urgent call? Sick pig over at Marstang Fell, Orton's Farm.
l know the chap.
Scrapes a living out of bare rock.
l've got a lot of time for Tim Orton.
Yes, so have l.
- Thank you for the drink, sir.
- lt's a pleasure.
Oh, Mr Herriot, l'm glad you've come, Dad's that worried.
- Where is he, Jenny? - With old Lady.
Right.
Thanks, Jenny.
What's the trouble, Tim? Best take a look, Mr Herriot.
Right as owt yesterday and flat like a dead'un now.
Never even looked up when l filled her trough.
When a pig won't tackle her grub there's summat wrong.
She's bad, Mr Herriot, whatever it is.
107 - that's quite a temperature.
Oh, hell, 107? lt's hopeless, then.
- lt's all our way, Jenny.
- Poor old lass.
She were a lovely lady.
- She'll be all right.
- Don't say that, Mr Herriot.
No, l mean it.
She's got erysipelas.
Put your hand on her back.
(Pig grunts) - See those swellings? - Aye, l can feel them.
ln a few hours she'll have a lovely rash.
- You can make her better? - l'm nearly sure l can, yes.
l'll give her a whacking dose of serum and l bet you she'll have her nose back in that trough in two days' time.
Well, that's better news.
You had me worried there with your 107 s, dang you! l didn't mean to frighten you.
(Jenny) l think it's wonderful.
l'm much happier when it's a high temperature than a low one.
(Kissing) (Grunts) Dad, what is it?! - Nay, lass, l'm fine.
- You're all in.
Break of day till set of sun, he never stops.
And sometimes nights an' all.
Come on, let's have a look at you.
Jenny's right, Tim.
A farmer can't stop working.
You can today.
Come on, be sensible, Tim, get your feet up.
- There's cows to milk - There's only nine! l can manage.
- Well, if you can.
- Course l can.
l don't mind admitting l were that worried.
lt came on me sudden just now, l feel all done up.
Go on, Tim.
- Thanks, Mr Herriot.
- Pleasure.
- He'll be fine, Jenny.
- He'd never listen to me.
Didn't think he would to you.
- Where you off to now? - To village to get him a stout.
- All that way for a stout? - lt'll be a surprise for him.
lt's three miles there and coming back it's uphill! l don't mind! - Some men aren't so lucky.
- What's that? Oh, it doesn't matter.
Put that bike away and hop in.
- l couldn't do that.
- You can and you will.
Come on.
lt worked like a dream, all fixed for Tuesday evening.
- Congratulations.
- You were not unhelpful.
- Rain doesn't suit my plans.
- Oh, what are they? Drive to Trimmer's Boathouse and punt from there.
- Not a skiff? - Certainly not.
- Skiffs wobble, James.
- Ah, yes.
- Can you punt? - Can l punt? When l was 1 7 l spent my summer holidays with an aunt at Oxford and there l learnt all the skills.
Ah.
So l won't make the same mistake as George.
Our lobster will be waiting, our wine cooling and no funny business on the way from Trimmer's.
- No? - Absolutely not.
The dalliance will be on the return journey.
Tummy full of lobster and strawberries.
Right degree of alcohol warming the bloodstream.
l shall tie up beneath some sheltering willow (Siegfried) Here you are! This'll wipe the smiles off.
Udder punching time, l can't stand it.
- Quite heavy lists, l'm afraid.
- Oh, hell's bells.
Crouching, checking bags for lumps, taking samples, getting kicked - after 100 cows l'm nearly insane! Yes, it's not much fun.
lt never seems to occur to you that l also work here.
(lnhales) However This ain't three o'clock! Sorry, Mr Handshaw.
All sorts of delays, you know.
(Cows mooing in distance) l've had 'em in all day.
Look at the bloody mess.
Well, don't just stand there, get on with it! (Mooing) (Sighs) - Ahh - What the 'eck? Oh, just testing, Mr Whitten.
Er, human guinea pig.
Completely new system.
(Mooing) - Well? - lt's all clear so far.
Just one to go.
You're wasting your time there, nowt wrong with his bag.
(Laughing) Poor old James, poor old lad! - lt made old Handshaw laugh.
- l'm not surprised! Ohh.
Did you bring any samples? (Yawning) Half a dozen.
All right, l can do the tests later.
- ls Tristan back? - Not yet.
Well, baggy me the first bath.
- Before you go, James - Mm? - Ah.
- Get this inside you.
- Thanks, l could use that.
- There you are.
Got a nice little job for you tomorrow morning.
Make a change from udder punching.
Yes, l'll bet.
What is it? Mrs Tompkins made an appointment.
You know her? Une ancienne formidable.
- What's the trouble? - Her budgie's beak needs clipping.
(Laughs) (Doorbell) (Mrs Hall) Answer that for me, Mr Tristan, will you? - All right, Mrs Hall.
- Thanks.
- Oh, Mrs Pumphrey, do come in.
- Thank you.
Mr Farnon, are you all right? You look quite worn out.
lt's overwork, Mrs Pumphrey.
And worry.
Tricki's not in trouble, is he? How could he be after you all drank his health? Yes, that was a great occasion.
Come on through, Mrs Pumphrey.
l can't tell you how wonderful it was being able to dress decently for once - have a night away.
l did mean to write and thank you butpressures, you know.
- And me being the dogsbody.
- Please, not in front of Tricki.
Oh, there was no need to write, though Tricki and l are dying to know how you all got on.
That's really why we're here, although l can see it's inconvenient.
lt's never inconvenient for you - and Tricki.
- Do sit down.
- Thank you.
l-l'm afraid Siegfried's out.
So's Helen.
Uncle Herriot's having a bath so you'll have to make do with me, l'm afraid.
And they left you in charge of everything? Mm.
''Holding the fort'' they call it.
l don't mind but l've been up since dawn testing cows.
l must have covered 40 farms.
(Tuts) Still, the important thing is what will you have to drink? - lt's a little early, isn't it? - Not a bit! l can't let you go without sampling the Farnon hospitality.
You're a very naughty and persuasive young man.
Perhaps just a teeny gin and it.
To hear is to obey.
l'll join you.
l begin to think it's true what they say about you in Darrowby.
- Eh? - You have quite a reputation and not only as a vet - as a lady-killer! - Good lord.
- And a little bird tells me that now you're flying very high indeed.
Mrs Pumphrey, whatever do you mean? Don't play the innocent with me, l'm far too old.
l have it from the horse's mouth herself.
Mrs Tavener tells me you're now in hot pursuit of her pretty daughter.
- Chin-chin.
- Cheers.
Pursuit lf only l could pursue her.
- Oh, l say - Ah, yes, now listen.
Come and sit by me.
Don't take it amiss from a poor widow like myself.
l wouldn't dream of it! And l don't want to damp your ardour.
lt's not you damping my ardour.
l've invited her to dinner at the country club.
Dear boy, can you afford it? Oh! l'm sorry, that's dreadful of me.
No, you're absolutely right.
l can't really but faint heart never won fair lady.
Splendid! Look at this, Mrs Pumphrey, it's my christening mug.
Solid silver.
l'm going to pop it.
''Pop it''? What do you mean? - l'm going to pawn it.
- Pawn it? Your christening mug? You can't possibly do such a dreadful thing! Needs must, l'm afraid.
Not while Tricki and l can prevent it! But l haven't any choice.
Foolish boy, put it back where it belongs.
Of course, l'm not going to offer you any money.
l wouldn't dream of doing such a thing.
All Tricki and l want to do is smooth the path of true love.
Now, l will telephone Monsieur Legrand.
When the bill is presented have them charge it to your account.
That will impress Miss Julia.
- But l haven't got an account.
- But l have! lt'll be charged to mine.
Oh, Mrs Pumphrey, you're wonderful! l don't know what to say.
You could offer me another teeny gin and it.
And of course, you can repay me whenever you come into funds.
Poor little fellow.
He can hardly eat.
l'm that worried, Mr Herriot.
You mustn't be any more, we'll soon put him right.
He doesn't chat much, does he? Never says owt but he's me only companion.
l love my Peter.
Come on, Peter.
(Kissing) Come on.
Come on.
Come on.
There we are.
- lt is overgrown, isn't it? - Can you manage? No trouble, Mrs Tompkins, we - How silly of me.
- What is it? l've got the wrong clippers with me.
lf you just wait here a moment, l shan't be a tick.
We've lots of time, Mr Herriot.
Yes.
l won't be a moment.
Oh, my goodness, Mr Herriot.
What happened? Fright, l suppose.
The shock might do the same to Mrs Tompkins.
What are you going to do? l don't know.
Get a replacement, l suppose.
- How am l gonna do that? - Try Jack Almond, president of Caged Bird Society.
Of course! Bless you, Mrs Hall.
Go on.
Corby Street, t'other side of town.
Thanks, Mrs Hall.
Thanks a lot.
(Chirping) (Man) l've got all sorts - budgies, canaries, parrots, parakeets, cockatiels No, l want a budgie.
One like that.
Well, let's see.
l've got albinos, blue-green, barred l just want a green one! There's a nice little green one over here.
lt's a bit older than t'others.
Matter of fact l've got him talking.
- Pretty Peter! Pretty Peter! - That'll do splendidly! - How much? - There's some nice ones here That's the one for me.
How much? 10 bob? And did she notice the difference? - No.
- Do you think she will? As far as l could tell he was a perfect match.
- Oh, yes.
- l say! - Anyone for tennis? - Punting, Helen, dear.
- Sorry, Tris, my mistake! - How do l look? - Dressed to kill.
- You'll slay her! - That's the idea.
- Have one.
No, l heard Siegfried overhead.
l'll get away while the going's good.
Table booked, lobster ordered - and some Sancerre - - Trimmer's will hold the punt.
- You go to it, lad.
- Have a lovely time.
- Thanks, Helen.
- A bientôt, chère amie.
- Oh, oui.
Dear old Tris.
l love that super confidence of his.
Was that my little brother dressed like a dog's dinner? - He looks dashing! - So it was him! - You getting short-sighted? - Not at all.
l saw an apparition vanish at the speed of light, l just couldn't be certain, that's all.
- He was in a hurry.
- To avoid me? lt might have had something to do with it.
- (Giggling) - l detect a conspiracy, you two.
Come on, Helen, out with it.
What's Tristan up to? He's not up to anything.
He's taking a young lady to dinner.
What young lady? Julia Tavener.
Absolutely fabulous! l'm over the moon! - Me too.
- Thank you, monsieur.
(Julia) That lobster! That wine, tantalising and light-bodied.
Like someone l could mention.
- Darling little vet! - Darling little pet.
- (Giggles) - Whoops! The landing stage.
- Here we are, Tom.
Untie her.
- Thank you, sir! Hand on my shoulder, one step forward.
- Ooh! - (Screams) Tom, help me! (Yelping) (Gasping) Good grief, my poor darling.
(Tim, laughing) By gol! Look at lass, l never saw the like! Like a turnip's head on Halloween night! l'm fascinated, Tristan, completely fascinated! This is serious! A whole week and she's never off the phone! l'm going out of my mind.
Women never, never cease to astonish me.
l wouldn't dream of underrating your charms for the fairer sex but if ever there was a nonstarter as far as you are concerned l'd have thought it was Julia Tavener.
- Or do l mean vice versa? - lt's unbelievable.
Tip a girl like her in the river - finito.
No chap's laughed at her before.
lt was all the fault of that crazy old man.
- Now l'm trapped.
- Trapped? My dear man, l do find that your reasoning is a trifle quaint.
No self-respecting man could be interested in her mind but there's plenty to be said for the rest of her! She brought out your worst instincts! Then Fate takes a hand and produces exactly the effect you were after.
You wouldn't have achieved it normally.
- Thanks(!) - So why ''trapped''? Why this violent back-pedalling all of a sudden? You'll never have another chance like this, my dear man! Go in for the kill, my lad.
- Make it a match.
- A match?! - Are you out of your mind?! - Far from it.
The French are very practical about this sort of thing.
Alors, soyons pratique.
Now, as you very properly said yourself, she's a stunner.
She's worth a cool million, she's completely besotted about you and who knows, in time she might even develop a pleasant nature.
Honnêtement, mon cher frère.
lt gives one furiously to think.
lt does indeed.
l've told you before, l like old Tavenerenormously.
- l wouldn't be marrying him! - True but there's a lot to be said for a decent father-in-law.
- You don't understand! - l think l do.
The hunter has become the hunted.
Unusual experience for you, isn't it? You're right, that's it.
l hadn't worked it out myself.
Not an altogether pleasant sensation to start with but one gets used to it.
l trust you're not gonna throw your hand in just yet? No, l simply haven't got the nerve.
- Pity.
- l suppose it is.
How do l get out of it, Siegfried? A chap doesn't like to hurt a girl's feelings.
No, course not.
l'm glad you've got some gentlemanly instincts.
Tell me, t'other night you set out to make a strong impression? Obviously.
Never mind what happened afterwards, supper must have cost better than three quid, eh? - All of that.
- So she's under the illusion that you are a man of means.
Well, disillusion her.
You're a penniless young vet with very poor prospects and your intentions were strictly dishonourable.
Tell her that.
You think it'll work? Give it a try.
(Siegfried humming) Hello, l came as quickly as l could.
Sorry for your trouble, Mr Herriot.
- lt's not too late? - l'm afraid so.
lt were sudden.
- He didn't suffer.
- Poor old Prince.
- How's Miss Stubbs? - She'd like to see you.
- Yes, of course.
- You go on through.
Hello.
l'm so awfully sorry.
l think he had a good life, Mr Herriot.
Of course he did - he was 15.
And he was loved and well cared for.
Yes, that's true.
lt'll be my turn next.
Now, what do you mean? Well, Prince went this morning, l'm going to be next, l just know it.
Nonsense, you're just feeling down.
People do when things like this happen.
l'm not afraid, l know there's something better waiting for me.
l've never had any doubts.
My one fear lt's my cats and dogs, Mr Herriot, l l'm afraid l might never see them when l'm gone.
So l know l'll be reunited with my parents and my brothers but Then why not with your animals? Oh, that's just it (Sniffs) They say animals have no souls.
- Who says? - l've read it and l know a lot of religious people who believe it.
Well, l don't believe it, Miss Stubbs.
lf having a soul means being able to feel love and gratitude and loyalty, then a lot of animals are better off than humans.
- Nothing to worry about.
- l hope you're right.
l know l'm right.
Sometimesl lie at night thinking about it.
You mustn't argue with me, Miss Stubbs.
They teach us vets about animal souls, you know.
You don't mind if l don't ask you in? l've got a lot of work.
- Of course not, silly! - Thanks for a lovely lunch.
lt was absolutely super! We'll do it again.
Ooh! (Kissing exuberantly) (Tristan) Well, l mustl must (Kissing continues) Give me a ring later, darling! Oh, you're so lovely! - (Kissing) - (Tristan) Goodbye.
Bye! Bye, sweetie! - Hello, Julia.
- Hello! (Starts engine, grinds gears) - Spying on me now? - Not in the least.
Just brotherly interest in your safety, and the fact that you are now two hours and 23 minutes late back from lunch.
Great advice you gave me.
You've turned me into a gigolo! lt's all good experience.
She's bought me body and soul, she won't let me pay for a thing.
- Tristan! - What? Hm.
Mm-hm.
That's better.
Stir yourself, there's work to be done.
l was that pleased, l can't tell you.
l just had to come and show you.
Really? He's a different bird, and that's the truth! - Different? - Dear Lord, l don't know what you did to him but he chatters all day long.
And speaks - says words! You wouldn't believe it! - (Chirps) - Oh! Just listen to that! He's better company than he ever was! lt's the beak, Mrs Tompkins.
The beak was so overgrown.
You're a clever young man, Mr Herriot.
No mistaking! l'll see if he's free.
l won't be a moment.
(James) Come in! (Mrs Hall) Mr Herriot (James) Oh, thank you.
(Door closes) - Hello, Mrs Broadwith.
- Hello, Mr Herriot.
- Sit down, please.
- l'm not stopping.
- How are those animals? - They're fine.
Good.
What can l do for you? Nothing for me.
l just came to tell you the bad news.
- Bad news? - Miss Stubbs, she She's passed on.
- Oh, l see.
- Aye.
l suppose we should be grateful she went peacefully.
Just went in her sleep.
Oh, l'm sorry.
What will you do now? l've taken a little cottage t'other end of the village.
- And Miss Stubbs' animals? - l've got 'em all with me.
All of them? How big is this little cottage of yours? lt's big enough for all of us and l've a grand stretch of garden so they can run all day if they want.
Splendid! l'll look in and see how they are.
l come through several times a week.
- There's just one thing.
- Hm? l know Miss Stubbs would've liked you to have this.
She thought a lot about you, and this.
Well, that'svery kind of you.
Thank you.
- Well, l must be off.
- Yes, of course.
- The weather's clearing.
- Yes, it is.
- l'll not need me brolly.
- No.
She were a grand old lady, Miss Stubbs.
We won't go far wrong if we try to be like her.
No.
- (Helen) Hello, Tris.
- Morning.
- Siegfried? - Good morning, er, Tristan.
Do l get a holiday this year? - Why do you deserve a holiday? - You mean l don't? - Certainly not.
- What a relief! l'm very grateful to you, Siegfried.
Really very grateful.
What are you talking about? ''Relief''? l've been invited to Antibes by the Taveners - couldn't think how to get out of it.
(Laughing)