Ballmastrz 9009 (2018) s02e06 Episode Script
Can't Stand the Heat? Ultimate Kitchen...
1
"Ballmastrz."
Hey, lame-o!
Miss the big game-o?
That up-and-coming garbage gang,
the Leptons, took on the sisters
of no mercy, the Bible Belters!
♪♪
Living on a prayer,
Gaz's junk jocks rally back
to an even game
in the last minutes of action!
Aah!
- Yeah!
- [Chuckles]
"Ballmastrz."
Blabber Ball: The Ballmastr king
threw into clutch
with a tie-breaking goal.
[Air horn blows]
- Yay!
- Whoo-hoo!
Ballmastr wins
another one!
Yeah, we dropped those nuns
like a bad habit.
"Habit." You get it?
[Laughs]
All right, newbies.
Gather 'round.
We're going to try a little
team-bonding exercise.
Are we going to do
trust falls,
a scavenger hunt,
water-balloon toss?
Easy, shorty.
Mama Digzy is going to teach you
how to celebrate right.
- Wow!
- Ooh!
So who's holding?
[Whistling]
Uh, I don't get it.
Holding what?
- Exactly.
- Come on, poem boy.
We all know you got
the wacky tobacky.
Ugh, I guess I could share
this Champagne Supernova.
My man!
That's only
the heaviest tetradronal
hydrohexolnoid
this side of Jupiter!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
[Laughter]
[Grunts]
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan,
a stately pleasure-dome decree."
Aah!
I'm starving!
Yes!
By Crayzar, I feel it, also!
Only once before have I endured
such famine as I quested
the okra-oxide waste of Biduan
for 40 metacycles
without a morsel of food
to sustain me,
surviving only on my own
recycled body fluids
and the occasional
mouthful of sand.
My inner map of metabolism,
my very core of cores
falls onto itself,
pleading,
"Somebody, get snacks!"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
I'm a bit peckish myself.
Hang tight
while I procure some grub.
Yay!
Leto is cooking up snacks.
Ah, don't make reservations
just yet, sis.
[Microwave dings] That
chowderhead couldn't butter
a slice of bread
without hurting himself.
May I present a comestible cure
for the late-night munchies
Chain-reaction team barf
in five, four, three
Leto Otel's secret-recipe
grilled-cheese sandwiches.
- Whoa.
- [Gasps]
- I'm first! Out of my way!
- Sweet sustenance!
[Chomping]
This is the most delicious food
I've ever eaten.
Oh, Leto, you've been
holding out on us.
Delectable ambrosia
of the gods.
Leto, you're
a culinary master!
Aw, shucks, you're just
saying that
'cause you're all
wicked baked.
Snacks!
[Chomping]
Ha-ha!
Mmm.
[Grunts]
[Gasping]
Blabber Ball: That's right.
It's the "Gourmet Gamers,"
the game show that pits
the biggest names in the game
against each other off
the field and in the kitchen.
There's thrills, chills,
spills, knife skills,
competitive celebrity cooking.
Cash money, lavish prizes.
I won a dinette set
and a Jet Ski.
[Laughs]
It's my second favorite game
"Gourmet Gamers."
Bon appetit!
Leto, you should compete
on "Gourmet Gamers."
You could even win.
Yeah, normally I'd argue
to keep poem boy
out of the public eye
as much as possible
seeing how he's
a witless buffoon and all,
but we're talking lots of moola
and big prizes.
Leto, those are damn
good sandwiches,
and you're going to win me
a Jet Ski.
This could be your moment,
man.
A resort trip to exotic bikini
beaches, a new car, money.
What do you say, Leto?
Nah, I couldn't.
It's just, like, a hobby,
something to make
my friends happy.
[All groan]
Well, yeah, that's probably
for the best.
Ride the pine, champ.
Save this team one
more public embarrassment.
Baby Ball: Whatever.
Somebody just pass me
some more sandwiches.
Leto Otel, I am fed up with you
selling yourself short.
You have so many wonderful
talents to share with the world.
I do?
It's time you stretched
your lazy ass a bit.
You are a master chef who
needs to be on "Gourmet Gamers."
Aw, Dee,
they're sandwiches.
Delicious sandwiches.
You don't understand.
I wouldn't make those sandwiches
for just anyone.
They're only
for my friends.
Bull crap.
That's a cop-out.
Let's face it
I wilt in the spotlight.
I'm not a high-pressure performer.
I'm more of a low-stakes
long shot.
Everyone's going to laugh at me
just like they always do.
Ugh, I won't take no
for an answer!
Besides, I've already pulled
some strings a the network
and got you a spot on the next
taping of "Gourmet Gamers."
It's too late.
Oh, bummer.
Blabber Ball: Here it comes.
Get ready for a food fight
with the heroes of the game,
as we play the star-studded
big-bodied cook-off contest,
"Gourmet Gamers."
And now, here's the star
of "Gourmet Gamers,"
your magnanimous majesty,
Lord Master Crayzar.
Thank you.
Oh, please, you're too kind.
I love you all.
Let's meet our splendid
contestants, shall we?
Well,
my glorious godhead,
joining us from
the Misfit Murder Squad
is Megafist.
[Laughs maniacally]
And swinging in from the Shaka
City Monkey Men, Curioso Jorge.
From the Choo-Choo Chums, it's
Digging Dolly the Dining Car.
A pleasure to serve you,
oh, Great One. Ooh.
And for the first time ever,
from the Ulsa Guerin Leptons,
it's Leto Otel.
[Groans]
[Laughter]
Yay, you can do it,
my sweet Leto.
You think he's going
to muff it or what?
It's Leto.
Of course
he's going to muff it.
You all know the rules.
At the end of the clock,
you'll present
your esteemed entrée
to our revered judges,
finished or not.
Well,
my fellow contestants,
I wish you all the most
sincere good luck.
- Bite me, pissant.
- [Gasps]
- Uh
- I'm got to chew you up,
crap you out onto a plate,
and call it dessert.
Get set, gamers,
and start cooking.
[Grunting]
Meat tenderizer!
[Laughs]
Okay, uh, um,
grate the butter.
No, no, wait, cheese,
grate the cheese.
Man, this is really hard
to do when I'm straight.
And what are we
making today?
Well, my liege,
I'm making coq au vin.
So precious, carry on.
[Gasps] And what are you making,
my literary little Lepton.
Grilled che
I mean, broiled fromage
over, uh, toast.
Sounds like
a grilled-cheese sandwich.
Yum, yum, dum-dum.
[Laughter]
[Clock ticking]
Uh
[Ticking continues]
Uh
[Ticking continues]
Aw.
Dude.
Food fight!
[Crowd chanting "food fight"]
[Both grunt]
[Boing!]
[Grunts]
[Humming]
Whoa! Aah!
[Grunts]
Aah, ah, oh!
Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
Oh
[Grunts]
Quiz time.
Leto, the category choices
are interdimensional metaphysics
or limericks.
I'll take limericks.
- Metaphysics it is.
- But
What is the counterexample
to a celadon
74th dark matter
F-mass conjecture
proving it's wrong
on Mondays
but still mostly right
on Tuesdays?
Oh, geez.
I have, like, no idea
what you're talking about, man.
[Buzzer] Oh, I'm
sorry, dear boy.
The answer is actually
"the man from Nantucket."
That'll cost you time
in the mess hall.
[Crowd chanting "mess hall"]
Oh!
- Oof.
- [Laughs]
- Aw.
- [Laughs]
- Whoo!
- Whoa!
- Ooh.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whew!
Whoa! Whoa.
- [Screaming]
- [Laughs]
♪♪
[Laughter]
Ride the pine, champ.
- He's a witless buffoon.
- Dum-dum.
Everyone's going to laugh at me
just like they always do.
They're sandwiches, man.
They're just sandwiches.
You can do it,
Chef Leto.
They're just sandwiches.
♪♪
But they're my sandwiches.
[Clock ticking]
Oh.
[Humming, giggles]
[Ticking continues]
[Laughs maniacally]
[Air horn blows]
Dinner bell.
Cutlery down, contestants.
[Giggles]
[Grunts]
[Laughs maniacally]
[Cheers and applause]
Ohh.
- Hmm.
- Mm.
Well, judges
inspiration or indigestion?
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
I guess now we know
the secret recipe.
Well, Leto, it seems that
the judges are speechless.
I dub thee the winner.
[Cheers and applause]
That's all for this week.
Till next time, bon appetit,
sweet meats.
[Judges moaning]
♪♪
Chirp.
"Ballmastrz."
Hey, lame-o!
Miss the big game-o?
That up-and-coming garbage gang,
the Leptons, took on the sisters
of no mercy, the Bible Belters!
♪♪
Living on a prayer,
Gaz's junk jocks rally back
to an even game
in the last minutes of action!
Aah!
- Yeah!
- [Chuckles]
"Ballmastrz."
Blabber Ball: The Ballmastr king
threw into clutch
with a tie-breaking goal.
[Air horn blows]
- Yay!
- Whoo-hoo!
Ballmastr wins
another one!
Yeah, we dropped those nuns
like a bad habit.
"Habit." You get it?
[Laughs]
All right, newbies.
Gather 'round.
We're going to try a little
team-bonding exercise.
Are we going to do
trust falls,
a scavenger hunt,
water-balloon toss?
Easy, shorty.
Mama Digzy is going to teach you
how to celebrate right.
- Wow!
- Ooh!
So who's holding?
[Whistling]
Uh, I don't get it.
Holding what?
- Exactly.
- Come on, poem boy.
We all know you got
the wacky tobacky.
Ugh, I guess I could share
this Champagne Supernova.
My man!
That's only
the heaviest tetradronal
hydrohexolnoid
this side of Jupiter!
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
[Laughter]
[Grunts]
"In Xanadu did Kubla Khan,
a stately pleasure-dome decree."
Aah!
I'm starving!
Yes!
By Crayzar, I feel it, also!
Only once before have I endured
such famine as I quested
the okra-oxide waste of Biduan
for 40 metacycles
without a morsel of food
to sustain me,
surviving only on my own
recycled body fluids
and the occasional
mouthful of sand.
My inner map of metabolism,
my very core of cores
falls onto itself,
pleading,
"Somebody, get snacks!"
Yeah! Yeah!
Yeah! Yeah!
I'm a bit peckish myself.
Hang tight
while I procure some grub.
Yay!
Leto is cooking up snacks.
Ah, don't make reservations
just yet, sis.
[Microwave dings] That
chowderhead couldn't butter
a slice of bread
without hurting himself.
May I present a comestible cure
for the late-night munchies
Chain-reaction team barf
in five, four, three
Leto Otel's secret-recipe
grilled-cheese sandwiches.
- Whoa.
- [Gasps]
- I'm first! Out of my way!
- Sweet sustenance!
[Chomping]
This is the most delicious food
I've ever eaten.
Oh, Leto, you've been
holding out on us.
Delectable ambrosia
of the gods.
Leto, you're
a culinary master!
Aw, shucks, you're just
saying that
'cause you're all
wicked baked.
Snacks!
[Chomping]
Ha-ha!
Mmm.
[Grunts]
[Gasping]
Blabber Ball: That's right.
It's the "Gourmet Gamers,"
the game show that pits
the biggest names in the game
against each other off
the field and in the kitchen.
There's thrills, chills,
spills, knife skills,
competitive celebrity cooking.
Cash money, lavish prizes.
I won a dinette set
and a Jet Ski.
[Laughs]
It's my second favorite game
"Gourmet Gamers."
Bon appetit!
Leto, you should compete
on "Gourmet Gamers."
You could even win.
Yeah, normally I'd argue
to keep poem boy
out of the public eye
as much as possible
seeing how he's
a witless buffoon and all,
but we're talking lots of moola
and big prizes.
Leto, those are damn
good sandwiches,
and you're going to win me
a Jet Ski.
This could be your moment,
man.
A resort trip to exotic bikini
beaches, a new car, money.
What do you say, Leto?
Nah, I couldn't.
It's just, like, a hobby,
something to make
my friends happy.
[All groan]
Well, yeah, that's probably
for the best.
Ride the pine, champ.
Save this team one
more public embarrassment.
Baby Ball: Whatever.
Somebody just pass me
some more sandwiches.
Leto Otel, I am fed up with you
selling yourself short.
You have so many wonderful
talents to share with the world.
I do?
It's time you stretched
your lazy ass a bit.
You are a master chef who
needs to be on "Gourmet Gamers."
Aw, Dee,
they're sandwiches.
Delicious sandwiches.
You don't understand.
I wouldn't make those sandwiches
for just anyone.
They're only
for my friends.
Bull crap.
That's a cop-out.
Let's face it
I wilt in the spotlight.
I'm not a high-pressure performer.
I'm more of a low-stakes
long shot.
Everyone's going to laugh at me
just like they always do.
Ugh, I won't take no
for an answer!
Besides, I've already pulled
some strings a the network
and got you a spot on the next
taping of "Gourmet Gamers."
It's too late.
Oh, bummer.
Blabber Ball: Here it comes.
Get ready for a food fight
with the heroes of the game,
as we play the star-studded
big-bodied cook-off contest,
"Gourmet Gamers."
And now, here's the star
of "Gourmet Gamers,"
your magnanimous majesty,
Lord Master Crayzar.
Thank you.
Oh, please, you're too kind.
I love you all.
Let's meet our splendid
contestants, shall we?
Well,
my glorious godhead,
joining us from
the Misfit Murder Squad
is Megafist.
[Laughs maniacally]
And swinging in from the Shaka
City Monkey Men, Curioso Jorge.
From the Choo-Choo Chums, it's
Digging Dolly the Dining Car.
A pleasure to serve you,
oh, Great One. Ooh.
And for the first time ever,
from the Ulsa Guerin Leptons,
it's Leto Otel.
[Groans]
[Laughter]
Yay, you can do it,
my sweet Leto.
You think he's going
to muff it or what?
It's Leto.
Of course
he's going to muff it.
You all know the rules.
At the end of the clock,
you'll present
your esteemed entrée
to our revered judges,
finished or not.
Well,
my fellow contestants,
I wish you all the most
sincere good luck.
- Bite me, pissant.
- [Gasps]
- Uh
- I'm got to chew you up,
crap you out onto a plate,
and call it dessert.
Get set, gamers,
and start cooking.
[Grunting]
Meat tenderizer!
[Laughs]
Okay, uh, um,
grate the butter.
No, no, wait, cheese,
grate the cheese.
Man, this is really hard
to do when I'm straight.
And what are we
making today?
Well, my liege,
I'm making coq au vin.
So precious, carry on.
[Gasps] And what are you making,
my literary little Lepton.
Grilled che
I mean, broiled fromage
over, uh, toast.
Sounds like
a grilled-cheese sandwich.
Yum, yum, dum-dum.
[Laughter]
[Clock ticking]
Uh
[Ticking continues]
Uh
[Ticking continues]
Aw.
Dude.
Food fight!
[Crowd chanting "food fight"]
[Both grunt]
[Boing!]
[Grunts]
[Humming]
Whoa! Aah!
[Grunts]
Aah, ah, oh!
Hyah, hyah, hyah, hyah!
Oh
[Grunts]
Quiz time.
Leto, the category choices
are interdimensional metaphysics
or limericks.
I'll take limericks.
- Metaphysics it is.
- But
What is the counterexample
to a celadon
74th dark matter
F-mass conjecture
proving it's wrong
on Mondays
but still mostly right
on Tuesdays?
Oh, geez.
I have, like, no idea
what you're talking about, man.
[Buzzer] Oh, I'm
sorry, dear boy.
The answer is actually
"the man from Nantucket."
That'll cost you time
in the mess hall.
[Crowd chanting "mess hall"]
Oh!
- Oof.
- [Laughs]
- Aw.
- [Laughs]
- Whoo!
- Whoa!
- Ooh.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Whew!
Whoa! Whoa.
- [Screaming]
- [Laughs]
♪♪
[Laughter]
Ride the pine, champ.
- He's a witless buffoon.
- Dum-dum.
Everyone's going to laugh at me
just like they always do.
They're sandwiches, man.
They're just sandwiches.
You can do it,
Chef Leto.
They're just sandwiches.
♪♪
But they're my sandwiches.
[Clock ticking]
Oh.
[Humming, giggles]
[Ticking continues]
[Laughs maniacally]
[Air horn blows]
Dinner bell.
Cutlery down, contestants.
[Giggles]
[Grunts]
[Laughs maniacally]
[Cheers and applause]
Ohh.
- Hmm.
- Mm.
Well, judges
inspiration or indigestion?
Mmm.
Mmm. Mmm.
I guess now we know
the secret recipe.
Well, Leto, it seems that
the judges are speechless.
I dub thee the winner.
[Cheers and applause]
That's all for this week.
Till next time, bon appetit,
sweet meats.
[Judges moaning]
♪♪
Chirp.