Beaver Falls (2011) s02e06 Episode Script

Flynn's my boyfriend.
You and Spencer?! Let's get it out in the open, no more secrets.
Maybe I should just tell her.
"Guess what? "I'm not even your father!" Did you fuck Rachael? No! Liar! Looks like Hope's gone off the reservation.
Who says I'm breaking up with him? It's a summer fling for you, but for him, you're his happily ever after.
This is everyone you slept with last summer? This is everyone? Yeah.
Everyone.
Continue seeing her and I'll tell her how you were sticking it to her mother all last summer.
End it! Marry me.
Don't ruin it for her.
I won't ruin it, I'm just going to kill him.
Crazy, right? Crazy.
A little.
We got carried away and now there's a cake and a dress and a priest.
It's real.
It's really real.
What if everybody's right? What if I'm just doing this to fuck with my parents? Let's face it, we're not under normal circumstances, the marrying kind? Exactly.
How about we, I dunno just, like, leave it to fate? Toss a coin.
OK.
Here we go.
Heads we do, tails we don't.
Heads.
Oh, fuck it.
We're getting married! What's the worst that can happen? There is no fucking way I am letting her marry that man! Just calm down a minute.
Bobby.
I tell PJ everything you and Flynn got up to last summer No.
She'd never speak to me again! It's a small price to pay to save our daughter.
This has got nothing to do with saving our daughter.
One more chance, Pam.
And if it doesn't work I swear to God Boom! Toga on.
Chop, chop.
Sure.
Right.
I'm calling a bathroom convention.
Second the motion.
Motion passed.
Nothing's wrong.
We're your best men.
We know when something's up.
What's the worst thing that could happen tomorrow? They announce a fourth Matrix film PJ finds out about Pam.
Yes.
To both.
But mainly the Pam thing.
She's going to be my fuckin' mother-in-law I know it's the plot of your favourite adult movies, Barry but, come on, I can't let PJ find out Cos she'll realise you've been lying all summer, call it all off and probably never forgive you? You worry too much, Grasshopper.
Besides, who really knows about it? Only us.
The kids.
Rachael.
Mac.
Bobby.
And Pam, obviously.
And that's it.
You're sure? That's everyone? Yeah.
That's everyone except Hope.
We ran out of conversation.
I need to fill the silence with something.
Silence is the silent killer.
But Hope isn't the issue here, right? This is about you.
You've got the heebie-jeebies and you're looking for something to worry about.
Trust me.
I'm your best, best man.
Equal best, best man.
Yeah.
I'm not drunk.
I'm not in a toga.
What the fuck am I doing? It's my stag night! I'm getting married in the morning! Yeah! Getting married's easy.
It's everything afterwards that's hard.
I mean, we'll need another plate.
And forks.
We don't have any forks.
Why do we need another plate? For PJ.
She's not going to eat off the floor, is she? I mean, it's going to be tight, having four of us in the flat, but we can shift some stuff around That's not going to be necessary.
Look, I agree.
The Pot Noodle museum stays, that's non-negotiable.
I think Flynn means we're not going to have four people in the flat.
Are you moving out? He's not.
I am.
We're not coming back home, mate.
We're staying here.
But what about our visas? I mean, I'm not against the idea of living in America.
Barry.
Me and PJ.
I thought we had it all worked out.
I was going to be your carer.
I spent the last year reading those books and going on courses What do you want me to say? This is my chance to be with somebody.
I've not got the time you boys have got.
Barry.
Where are you going? Ice.
We need some ice.
He'll be back.
And we do need ice.
Evening, fellas.
I just need to ask a few questions.
Hi.
Look, I know my tag got activated, but I was kidnapped OK.
Sounds serious.
Sounds like I need to show someone my night stick.
Er, yeah.
Sorry, dude, you got the wrong the wrong bunk.
Good moves, though.
Now the party's started.
OK, so this is it.
So, good luck with the, er the clothes removal stuff.
You coming in? No, no, no.
It's a hen party, so it's off-limits to men.
Most men.
Men who are clothed, and shall remain so.
All right, well Nice to meet you.
Yeah, no.
Ladies.
I've had some reports on a disturbance.
Oh, shut up and show us your night stick! Oh, my God! You're amazing! He's kind of got the moves, huh? I guess, yeah.
So, Flynn's staying here.
I always said I was going to look after him but, well, my visa runs out soon and I got to thinking, you know.
Everything I want is in America.
In fact, it's standing right in front of me.
Dressed in a cheerleader costume.
But that's totally irrelevant.
Just, you look nice and smell nice and say nice things and I love you, Kim.
Which is why I want you to do me the greatest honour Kim? Fuck.
Fuck, fuck.
Fuck it.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck.
Fuck! Fuck! You look like someone who could use a drink.
I've already got one.
And a stupid, broken, stupid heart No.
I meant a proper drink.
Come on, ladies! Let's go! Get those hands up! Yeah, I'm getting married! Guys, come on! This is the 21st Century.
Stags and hens being separated is so backwards Ah-ha! No, no! The bride and groom cannot see each other before the wedding You're here! Good luck trying to separate them.
Barry not around? There's a problem with Kim.
What kind of a problem with Kim? We should probably sort that out.
You know, best man and bridesmaid and all that.
Yeah.
Let me be clear about something.
I will be civil to you.
I will dance with you, if necessary.
But best men do not always sleep with the bridesmaids, OK? It is not a tradition.
I mean, it is a tradition.
But not this time Hey, hi.
If you want to talk, or anything I'm around.
Trying to hold onto love is like trying to hold onto a moon beam.
Or a shadow.
And how do you hold onto a shadow? You can't.
Unless you have superpowers.
And I don't I think you're a superhero.
Yeah? In fact I think you're Iron Man.
Wow, Iron Man.
Wait.
OK.
Wait, this is wrong This is so wrong.
Really? I can't do this I can't.
No, cos I love I love Kimberley.
Really big love.
Big Oh, God.
I can't let it go.
I can't It's all right, Barry.
We're not going to sleep together.
Oh, thank you.
Thank you.
Then why? Why did you? Because I'm robbing you.
What? No, wait.
Wait.
Oh, hello, shiny, sparkly, glittery Whoa! Is this a real diamond? Yeah.
No! That? It's a fake.
It's made of granite, or something Don't take that.
It belongs to my friend.
I have no idea why your girlfriend wouldn't want to marry you.
You're a real catch! Wait.
No, wait.
You don't have to steal my clothes as well.
They're definitely not worth anything.
Yeah, I know.
But it's funny.
No, wait! Bar girl! Fuck! Brandon, please roll over.
Fried egg sandwich, with a smattering of brown sauce.
Welcome to your wedding day.
You're the best joint best man ever.
Speaking of which Sorry.
Still no sign of Barry yet.
I can't believe he'd just ditch me.
No.
He didn't.
He probably just went out for you know a jog.
I'm hungover.
I'm not daft.
Yeah.
I'll call him again.
No! Fuck it! You look good in a suit.
Hi.
So, what, uh What am I doing here? Couldn't sleep.
So you went for a long, long walk, all the way back here? No, silly.
I think it's because I'm having a crisis of conscience.
It's good of you to apologise A little voice yapping away saying I couldn't let PJ marry Flynn, until she knew the truth about him and her mom.
I just want to do the right thing.
Well, that's great.
Seriously? I kind of thought you would freak out No.
No.
You stand up for what you believe in.
That's what made this country quite good.
Oh! Oh, OK.
Sorry.
Excuse me one second.
Where the fuck are you?! 'Seriously, dude, you have to come and get me!' I can't, I've got a Hope problem to deal with.
'I'm the best man! Fucking come and get me now!' Co-best man.
Fuck, she's heading towards the girls' bunks! Red alert, red alert! Speak to Mac.
Don't be late.
And don't forget the fucking ring! 'A-Rab, no, come back!' Hello? Whoa, there! Where are you rushing off to? I have to go and talk to PJ.
I told you.
At this time? She's probably not even awake.
You're doing a what? In a where now? 'I'm in my pants and chained to a bed!' Let's go for a walk.
You know, find somewhere to chat.
It's her wedding day.
Of course she's awake.
It's PJ.
She could probably sleep through a hurricane.
Come on! Lets grab a coffee.
Yeah, coffee.
Coffee, coffee, coffee! I can't believe you can't drive, man.
Is that like a gay thing? Yeah.
We're famous for it.
Crazy fucking world! I appreciate the lift, anyway, thank you.
Hey, I'm just happy to help.
I mean, Barry and I have had our differences in the past, but I guess it's something I kept from my spiritual journey.
The importance of living in a brotopia.
You just can't do it on your own.
You know? Thank you, thank you.
It's been an emotional day, even the cake is in tiers! But seriously, being friends with someone like Flynn meant a lot.
Taught me a lot.
Opened a lot of doors.
Mac attack! Yay! Handcuffs, Barry.
Really? They were for the stag.
Oh, man! Come on, come on Come on Damn! Don't suppose you know how to tie one, do you? Where the fuck are my best men? Suppose you'd better get used to it now.
It's just you and PJ.
Not bad, huh? For off the rack.
Yah About the dresses We get it.
Your mom has issues with this wedding.
I deserve to wear this hideous dress.
I am a hideous person.
Yeah, you know, you do kind of deserve to wear this dress.
Thanks.
He asked me to marry him.
What am I supposed to do with that? Trouble is, he's really lovely.
Ah, ah! My wedding, OK? Now, come on, bitches.
Game time! Should just get one of those clip-on ones.
Nobody knows the difference.
Bobby.
They don't.
Have you decided what you're going to do? I'm going to a wedding, Pam.
Yep.
Can't tell the difference.
Nervous, son? A little, yeah.
I hate these things.
I've thrown up twice already.
Got a bucket here, if you need it.
Right.
Cheers.
Where is the best man? Men.
They'll be here.
Probably ran off with the bride! I'm just kidding.
But seriously, you should check.
It happens.
It happens.
Do you really think I'm stupid? I know you only brought me here to try and talk me out of telling PJ the truth.
No, I didn't.
This is about you and me.
The way it ended.
It's bugging me.
Sure.
I abandoned you in the middle of nowhere, almost got you deported, and it's just eating you up inside.
I miss you.
I'm still telling PJ.
And you're still not listening to me.
I miss you.
I pretend that I don't and that everything's OK, but I don't want to pretend any more.
I miss you, way more than I thought I would.
And I don't know what my life would be like without you.
A-Rab.
I forbid you to use me as some sort of sexual fantasy.
I hear your voice in my head every day.
I see your face, and that smile.
And it just reminds me what I lost.
And it's fucking killing me.
How long have we got? Barry.
I will get you there.
I promise.
You're such a fucking Maction hero.
I don't know how we managed without you.
I'm not a hero, Barry.
I'm just an ordinary guy with a kick-ass penknife.
All right.
I just hit up the Salvation Army.
Is this all they had? Yeah, bro, we're in a hurry, I grabbed the nearest things.
But if you want to go on a shopping spree, that's your call.
Grab the shoes, grab the shoes! All right, all right.
Come on! Let's go, let's go, let's go.
Go, go, go! A-Rab Oh, you A-Rab You I missed you so much! I missed you too, Rachael.
What did you just say to me? Um Miss rachael.
Missrachael.
It's Arabic, it means, er you know, let's get busy! You said her name! You're an idiot, cos she's never going to even care about you! Look, I'm sorry.
You think you can apologise for this?! Not for this.
For the next bit.
It's nothing personal, it's just, I've got to be a best, best man.
Oh, I'm going to hell! Where have you been?! Just had some, uh, wedding stuff to deal with.
Relax, it's all going to be OK.
And there we go Perfect.
What about Barry? Where is he? You've got one best man.
Don't be greedy.
Oh, shit! What is it? Come on! Keep going, come on, come on! We can't, dude.
Look, dude! Everyone else might buy into this whole reformed Jake, spiritual upgrade 2.
0 Barry.
But this is my best friend's wedding, so quit fucking me around! Barry, we're out of gas! Look, I can't fucking miss this.
He'll never forgive me.
Open the fucking door! Thank you! Guess I should have told him about the spare canister in the trunk, huh? Mate, this is probably a bad time to tell you, but Barry has the ring.
Right.
Great.
But I'm on it.
Brandon! Mate, I need your nipple ring.
What? No! Give it to me.
Best best man.
Hi.
What you doing? Not much.
You? Oh, you know, just getting married.
That sort of thing.
Dad! Oh, Dad.
I'm OK.
I'm OK.
Eurgh! Oh, Dad! Oh, my God! Bobby! Jesus, Bobby! Mom! Man down! Somebody call an ambulance! Now! What's happening? Stop it! Jesus, what is wrong with you?! Can't a guy even have a heart attack without your goddamn tongue getting in the way?! Just a bit of heartburn.
Had some bad pizza.
That was scary! Don't make a fool of yourself.
I'm just getting warmed up.
We both know you're not man enough to step up and spill it.
Neither are you, and you're the one that's marrying her.
Dad, you and Mom have tried everything.
You've got to give it up.
PJ.
No! I've seen the worst of Flynn, OK? He's seen the worst of me.
I trust him, I love him.
We're getting married.
Dearly beloved That's nice, isn't it? Always gives me a warm feeling inside.
We are gathered here to join Sorry.
Go on.
Yes.
Um Gathered here today.
Thank you.
Gathered here today to join these two in holy matrimony.
If there is anyone here who knows why these two should not be wed, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace.
He slept with my wife! Her mother! My wife! That bastard! Oh, my God! Wait! This shouldn't be their wedding.
It should be ours.
Rachael, I love you.
And I love you.
I only married Mac because I knew deep down that he was a homosexual, and we'd get back together.
Anybody at all? Wait! Barry's not here.
He's missing his best friend's wedding because I'm a complete bitch.
Last chance! Well, in that case Andrew 'Flynn' Spencer, do you take One second.
What are you doing? What's going on? I can't go through with this until I've been completely honest with you.
I know, you're going to die, I'll be a widow, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Come on.
No, it's not that.
PJ, I slept with your mum.
Last year.
And I know I should have told you when you asked me, but I just want it out there in the open.
No lies, no bullshit.
You and me.
Cos I want this to work.
Because I love you.
OK.
So we're OK to continue? Um, Andrew 'Flynn' Spencer, do you take Pamela Jefferson Junior, or 'PJ', to be your lawful wedded wife? I do.
I really do.
Wait, sorry.
Did you just say you slept with my mom? Yeah.
My mom? You slept with my mom?! PJ! Why would you do this?! I hadn't met you, I No, why would you do this now? You had weeks and weeks.
Why right here, right now? When everything is so good, everything's so perfect.
How could you do this to me? Who else knows? Great, good.
OK.
Well.
It's good to see it's all out in the open.
Awesome.
Never had a walkout before.
My first one.
Am I too late? Way too late.
It's over.
It's all over.
Aw, man I'm sorry.
You're devastated! No, really You didn't even show up.
You disappeared with the ring.
It wasn't like that.
What was it like? Trust me.
Barry had a completely valid reason for missing the wedding, man.
Go on.
What was this totally valid reason? I went to a bar.
And I got drunk.
That's why you didn't show up? And I met a woman.
And she took me to a motel room but nothing happened! She just took off my clothes and handcuffed me to the bed and stole my wallet and the ring.
I don't have time for this shit.
I should be looking for PJ.
Mate! PJ! PJ! PJ, I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sorry.
PJ Look, I-I know it sounds bad.
Like we had a problem and I ran off to a bar and went to a motel with the first available woman.
You don't need to explain anything.
But I do.
You and me.
Summer thing.
Right.
I'm never going to put this right.
My relationship with PJ's over and you get to walk away smelling of roses.
You must be feeling very happy right now.
Ecstatic! Hi, Lori.
How are you? 'What are you doing, Bobby?' Just organising an ethnic awareness event.
It's all very progressive.
'So you're not standing in a cheap suit, drinking champagne, 'during work hours?' It's more expensive than it looks.
And why does your ethnic awareness day look very much like a wedding reception? The cake, the alcohol, the altar.
This breaks so many regulations I can't even start to list them.
This is a real problem.
This is not a problem.
Oh, and how's that, Bobby? It's an opportunity.
You know, eight million people a year go to summer camp.
Best years of their lives.
And then they get older, Lori.
Then they get married, they settle down.
Er what better setting.
This is hardly the Hamptons.
Who'd want to get married here? Yeah, well, er The happy couple.
Here we go.
Adil and Rachael.
Just married.
Go on.
Tell Lori why you chose Beaver Falls as the site for your wedding? What? What lead you to choose our little camp? Bobby It was the trees and the lakes.
And-And the falls.
It's was all just so romantic.
A-Rab? We can't wait to tell everyone what a great day we've had.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the happy couple! Pick their brains.
Pam, look after Lori for me.
I'm going to find PJ.
She'll rip your face off if you get within 12 yards of her.
PJ! PJ, I'm sorry.
I'm so fucking sorry.
OK, Spencer.
We get it.
You're sorry! You're not, though, are you? Everything worked out fine for you, didn't it? What the hell was that for?! You got what you wanted.
I told her.
Yeah.
Not at the fucking altar, you imbecile! Not in front of her family and friends! I had to.
I couldn't let her marry me off the back of a lie.
Spencer, so noble, so honest.
It's not about that.
There's more I could have said, but I wouldn't.
Yeah, I'm sure there was.
Like the fact you're not her father.
Hey, listen, you That's between you and PJ.
And I wouldn't tell her.
It's not my business.
This is.
Yeah, my timing was fucking terrible but I did it because I care about her.
Why didn't you tell her about me and Pam? I left it too late.
You know, I saw her step out of the bunk in that dress and she looked happy.
She She just looked happy.
I I realised my revenge would hurt the person I care about the most.
Like Vader at the end of Jedi.
That's not really what happens in Jedi, although I heard they made a lot of changes in the Special Edition.
Yeah.
Listen, don't Just don't fuck up your marriage like I did.
OK? I won't.
All right, PJ.
Come on out.
She'll have heard you calling and shouting.
And dollars to doughnuts she'll have shown up for a look.
Come on, PJ! I know you're out there.
No.
We wouldn't actually be married, obviously.
Just cut the cake, do the dance Fine.
But you can't enjoy it.
I won't.
Not even a little bit.
Not even ironically.
If I think for one second you are enjoying our fake wedding, I'm fake divorcing you.
Ah! Well, look what the little cookie monster had stashed away.
Num, num, num! Thank you, Thurston.
You always were my favourite.
I told you I have nothing to say to him.
I know.
But it appears the boy has something to say to you and, much as it pains me, I think he means it.
Last summer, I went crazy.
I thought it was my last chance to Sleep with everyone? Including my mom? Yeah.
That was a great speech.
Yeah, if I'd known you were going to lead with that, I'd never have given you the floor.
Dad, maybe it's best if you just Slap him again? I was going to say "go" but, hey, now that you mention it What I was trying to say was I'm not that person any more.
You are the person who hid it from me.
Getting married was a stupid idea anyway.
If anything, I'm being reasonable.
You are.
But reasonable people have their whole lives ahead of them.
They get to screw up and make up later.
We don't have that time.
I can't just fast-forward like that.
And I don't have time to be reasonable, PJ.
So I'm not leaving until you agree to marry me.
Fine.
You stay.
I'll go.
I'm not leaving you.
I'm serious.
You walk away, I'll walk with you.
You go to sleep, I'll be there.
You go to eat, I'll be there.
You think I'm irritating now? Tip of the iceberg.
Cos I won't let you go.
OK.
Really? Yeah.
If you want it that badly.
Get your friends.
Your best men.
The priest.
Down by the lake.
Small and simple.
Fifteen minutes.
Fuck it.
Ten.
You won't regret this.
When me and my friends first came over here, all we knew about America was from the TV and films.
And we kinda knew it wasn't really going to be like that.
'And we were wrong.
Cos it's better.
' Even so, one thing I didn't expect to find was love.
And in the words of Robyn Fenty, AKA Rihanna, or the production team responsible for providing her with her hit songs, "We found love in a hopeless place.
" What happened? I either did something very good or very bad.
A place called Beaver Falls.
Aww! 'Bobby says it's where dreams come true.
He actually said that.
'And when I looked into Rachael's eyes for the first time, 'my dreams came true.
'So raise your glasses for a toast to the woman I love.
'To my darling wife.
Rachael.
' What the fuck is this?! Balloons? Banners? Champagne? What do you think? It's our wedding reception, silly.
And what a lovely couple they make! Oh! Oh, man This is a joke, right? Because two hours ago he was making out with me.
Until he spluttered your little name out.
He did what? We don't need to go into details.
Details! Details! No, of course not! Everyone running around trying to marry everyone else.
I loved her.
And you'll love plenty more.
When I was your age I wrestled a bear.
Do you think a wife would have let me go mano-a-mano with a fucking grizzly? And you want to know what's really been going on all summer at your precious little Beaver Falls? It's a moral vacuum.
It's a swamp of deceit, and narcotics, and casual sex and ineffective management.
Help! Can someone please help?! Oh, my God, Thurston! What happened? The bad lady hit me.
The bad lady? Thank you, Thurston.
You always were my favourite.
Don't let her hit me again.
Aw, you poor battered baby.
I didn't.
I-I wouldn't do that.
I'm not that kind of person No, really, I'm not.
Really I'm not.
Barry It's back on.
No way.
So you still a best man? You sure you still want me? Why? Because you walked out on my stag night, got drunk in a bar, met a woman, got handcuffed to a bed, lost the fucking ring and missed my wedding? It wouldn't be the same without you.
Then let's do this.
Let's get committed.
Get A-Rab, the ushers and the bridesmaids.
Small and simple, on the island.
Him too.
Sorry, totally zoned out there.
What's happening? I just think it's time to grow up, you know.
Stop playing games.
I want you back, Kim.
I know.
You've been kind of obvious.
Have I? Oh, cos you didn't push Barry into admitting all that shit in front of me? What can I say? I believe in the truth.
Kim, the truth is you and I are meant to be together, baby.
You still love me? I'm not doing this, Jake.
I still care about you but I care about Barry, too.
Kim.
I don't know what I want.
Come on, Kim.
You know this is She says she's not doing it.
Barry.
The wedding's back on.
You need to get yourself down by the lake.
You're not invited.
Wait.
I already missed one wedding.
I'm not going to miss the other.
Actually, this is really good for us.
We're getting everything out in the open.
It's time to choose, Kim.
Is it going to be me or him? I'm not an option.
I'm out.
Look, I did kiss her but it was only to stop her from ruining the wedding.
But then you said my name.
Yeah, and then she freaked out and then I locked her in the kitchen like a kidnapper.
You said my name.
Well, yeah.
Yeah, I did.
Yeah.
I mean, the whole time I was there I was just thinking of you.
That's actually really It's a little bit creepy, yeah.
A little bit.
We can work through that.
Wait.
Does this mean? What does this mean? For God's sake.
Fake it, Pam.
I thought you were good at that? I wouldn't start throwing confetti just yet.
She's not coming.
Of course she is.
Of course she's not.
It's the final "fuck you.
" Jilted at the altar.
Fuck that.
After everything we've been through? I got robbed and handcuffed to a bed.
He had to kidnap Hope.
Like it or not, you're getting married.
Come on.
How do we find her then? I don't know.
I got so excited by the speech I gave, I didn't really Come on.
Oh! Schoolboy error.
You need identify the starter wire.
Then the power wires.
Why are you telling me this? You know why.
We don't want you to marry Flynn either.
I'm actually 50/50 on it Well, I guess I'd better go, huh? Better for everybody if I do.
Yup.
So it's that wire you want.
Well, everybody except Flynn.
I mean, he was sort of sold on this whole marriage thing Which is a total turn around from last year.
He'd given up.
Probably accounts for why he shagged your mum.
Yeah, I'm sure he was in turmoil.
He tried to kill himself.
He was all fucked up and now he's not.
And he wants to stay here with you instead of us, which is saying something because we saved his life.
Well, what's left of it.
The point is, he loves you more than us.
And he loves us loads.
So that's a lot.
I don't understand.
You don't want him to leave, so why are you saying all this? Because we also Say it.
I can't.
We love him.
Well, we like him.
Strongly.
I'm sorry.
We tried.
We really tried.
But, unfortunately She's going to marry you anyway.
I tossed a coin.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here, again, to join these two, possibly, in Holy Matrimony.
So if anyone here knows why these two should not be joined Excellent.
So, could we just do the "I do's"? I do.
I do too.
I now pronounce you man and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
So Enjoy your honeymoon.
Don't talk to any strangers.
Always bet on black.
Don't forget us.
So this is it, then? Shit.
Shit.
Shit.
See you around, boys.
Wait! The best, best man.
Who was it? You know the answer already.
It was both of us, right? It was A-Rab.
Bastard! Bye! One-in-three marriages end in divorce.
Happy honeymoon! Bye.
So, about earlier.
That fat boy was lying.
I don't even know why he hates me so much.
Well, he does have a crush on my ex but that is no excuse for deceit.
Jealousy is a plague, Miss McBride, and it's blighted me all my life.
Stop mewling and get out of my car.
Fine.
I thought you might want to know what's been going on at your camp all summer, but I guess you're just not the conversational type.
So maybe you'd want to read about it instead? It's a real page turner! So, just you and me.
Yep.
Which of us is the cool one, and which of us is the bumbling, well-meaning sidekick? To be fair, mate, I think we're both the sidekick.
Oh.
When I first came here, I had a dream.
A sexy, co-ed, naked swimming party.
It's not a dream, man.
That's the name of the film that you tried to get me to watch.
And in order for it to be co-ed, there have to be women here.
Dreams don't always turn out the way you planned.
Fuck it.
Is this a Brit thing? Or can anyone join in? Mac has something to ask you guys.
No, I don't He wants to come to England with you.
Barry, dear? Yeah.
Yeah, why not? We need someone to split the rent with.
And there's plenty of hot men in England.
Yeah.
Exhibit A and B right here! Hey, and I can tell everyone that you're dead.
How did I die? Drowning.
Oh, my God! Nicely done.
Shit! Hi, Jake.
No, Jake.
You can't just come crawling back to me, you know.
I'm not.
What? So, you just happened to sense that I was getting undressed and wander over.
I'm not shaking your hand.
You're going to pull me into the water.
No, I'm serious.
No matter how it turned out, you gave me the summer of my life.
Friends? Barry, you bastard! So.
All those in favour of gate-crashing Flynn's honeymoon, say "Aye.
" Aye!