Boston Legal s02e06 Episode Script

You want to run that by me again? We have a group of complaining parents.
They're suing their elementary school over the Halloween pageant.
In particular they don't like the witch.
There are two groups of parents who are upset.
One is Christian.
The other group is, uh well Yes? Witches.
Did you say witches? I said witches.
Which group does the firm represent? Well, actually, both.
Candy corn? It's just, though they are together for the purpose of this motion, they're not so much together.
And I think having two lawyers, in case there are conflicts.
Yes, and you think the senior partner of the firm should be doing this because It'll be fun.
Plus, you promised I'd get to try cases with you.
Do you know your briefcase is smoking? This is the season, Brad.
Bubble, bubble, toil and so forth.
This is a law firm.
Thank you for that.
Mr.
Shore.
My name is Garrett Wells.
Sounds like an old western town, Garrett Wells.
I'm an associate here.
Yes, you're the one who sleeps with paralegals.
- And this is, uh - The paralegal.
Can we talk to you for a second? You are talking.
In private, please? Let me put this out.
My little brother Jeffrey signed up for the national guard.
He fulfilled his service contract in Iraq.
He was supposed to come home.
The army kept him there under the stop loss program.
There weren't enough soldiers on the ground so they put him in a position that he never trained for.
It got him killed.
I realize as a matter of law that the army is immune from these suits.
There is probably no way to win this.
That's why we came to you.
You, um, have a high success rate for unconventional trials.
That's only because the conventional trials won't have me.
What are you looking to gain from this? I'm not sure.
I go home and cry every night.
Until I start to scream.
Maybe I just want someone to hear my screams.
It promotes a specific religion.
Ah! Shirley Schmidt! Grace and Bob Mathias.
They're, uh The Christians.
And Evelyn and Sam Sawtelle.
- The witches.
- Wiccans.
Sorry.
Uh, as I understand it, the four of you want to stop the school celebration of Halloween.
It's satanic.
Uh, that's not the position we're taking.
I mean, we're not allowed to have a Christmas concert because of the whole church and state thing, but every year - At our children's school.
- A public school.
Paid for with our taxes.
They have a Halloween pageant.
It's a pageant, is it? Where not only are images of witches prominently displayed But the principal of the school Mrs.
Berleth dresses up like a witch.
And she cackles.
- She cackles.
- Bloodcurdling cackles.
We find the whole thing horribly offensive.
Because Ms.
Schmidt, as a Wiccan couple, it's hard enough raising our daughter in this culture without stereotypical images holding her up for ridicule.
I mean, I ask you, are we green? - Do we have warts? - And as a Christian couple, we resent having our faith marginalized while satan worship is openly Witches don't worship satan, Grace.
Promoted.
Specifically.
- It's unfair.
- It's defatory.
You can see, while both couples are on the same side, we have competing claims.
But we're putting our differences aside For the greater good How could they possibly file papers so thick so fast? Clearly the government was ready for this very case.
And just as clearly, they want to shut it down fast.
So what happens? Well, instead of responding in kind, I plan to ask the judge for an evidentiary hearing.
My feeling is, after listening to you, Cassie, he'll be less inclined to just summarily dismiss the claim.
Okay.
It also might help if your parents could be there.
Well, my parents aren't with me on this.
They think I'm dishonoring my brother's memory and his sacrifice.
Okay.
We filed in state court under the state torts claim act, and miraculously, a judge agreed to hear us.
The bad news is we drew a peculiar judge.
In 26 years on the bench, I have never seen a case so ridiculous.
It nauseates me.
Your honor is being a little dramatic.
He was a solider in a war.
What's more, he enlisted.
Private Elliot's tour of duty was over.
He should not have been in Iraq.
He enlisted in part because he was fraudulently recruited.
Moreover, the army then put him in a job for which he was not trained And which resulted in his death.
Move to dismiss.
The United states army is immune from this sort Not to claims based on fraud, Which this is.
What if the families of every solider killed in combat decided to sue? We'd have a logistical nightmare.
Fortunately, we're only dealing with one person suing here, and if you're predisposed to kick it, so be it.
But at least take an hour to hear from a couple of witnesses before doing so.
You have a legacy of unfettered fairness, your honor.
Please do not tarnish it.
You pay the court costs.
He actually got a hearing? - Don't ask me how.
- Well, what did he say? Don't you two have anything else to do? Um, we're discussing a case, sir.
It's not a case.
It's an abuse of the judicial process.
- Yes, we're discussing that.
- Go shine your shoes.
- I beg your pardon? - You heard me.
Shine your shoes now.
- And how's your grooming? - I think fine sir.
Go to work.
It's fun to pull rank, isn't it? What you are doing is an arrogant dismissal of that young soldier's ultimate sacrifice.
And as somebody who served in the Gulf war, proudly, when you disrespect our soldiers, you disrespect me.
I don't like it.
Is it true? You're criticizing the war? Constructive criticism.
What? Alan, I've loved you like a Sister.
We're Americans.
To be critical in a time of war.
Even the Democrats are smart enough to keep their mouth shut on this.
Edward R.
Murrow said we should never confuse dissent with disloyalty.
Edward R.
Murrow is media.
And he's dead.
Dead don't count.
The dead do count, Denny, which is why we're bringing this lawsuit.
Drop the case.
Do it now.
I'm not dropping it, Denny.
Alan? I'm senior partner.
I'm asking you, check that, I'm directing you.
- Drop it.
- No.
I'll boil you whole and suck the skin from your bones! Or something like that.
Mr.
Mathias, is this an accurate depiction of principal Berleth's behavior during the Halloween pageant? Yes, except she does sort of a swoop.
Could we see the swoop, please? Uh, your honor, just Your honor Your honor, the defense stipulates she's scary as all get out.
Mrs.
Berleth, you may be seated.
The court thanks you for the riveting demonstration.
Why is Mrs.
Berleth's performance so harmful to your children? I mean, it's just Halloween.
And that's what we hear daily.
"It's just a movie.
" "It's just a video game.
" "It's just the super bowl halftime show.
" But she's not just a witch to you, is she? No, and I should be able to protect my children from things I deem harmful.
Trying to raise my kids to have strong Christian values in today's world is hard enough without the head of the school dressing up like a servant of satan.
It's bad enough my 7- year-old knows all about bitches, pimps and hos from "grand theft auto".
Michael Jackson and child molestation are now words in his vernacular.
My sixth grade daughter has classmates who will, excuse me, perform oral sex for a dollar.
Now all of this is learned at school.
This is why we're so livid.
This is why so many of us are homeschooling, but I don't want to have to do that.
Public school is just that.
It's our school, too.
And satan shouldn't be there.
The national guard said they'd pay his tuition for college.
He was also told that he'd be safe.
Safe? He was gonna be a cannon loader, not one of the guys on the streets.
They promised.
When he was reassigned, doing the job of an MP, guarding a convoy truck, he made a joke that he should've just joined the Boston PD.
If he was gonna travel halfway around the world to become a cop.
Cassie, what happened on September 2nd of this year? Jeff's convoy was pulling through a town called Iskandariyah.
They nearly ran over an IED.
It's an improvised explosive device.
A bomb.
They had to disarm it before the convoy could go on.
Jeff didn't have any training in disarming homemade bombs.
But it had to be done, and no one else had a clue.
He was always like that.
You know, he was always one you could count on.
He just never should have been there! Okay.
But, Cassie, he did enlist.
You sign up for the military, you have to assume the risk of going to war.
His tour of duty was up.
Plus he died doing something he was never trained for.
He didn't assume that risk.
Nothing further.
Mr.
Randolph? I have nothing for Ms.
Elliot except to thank her family for the sacrifice that they've made during this difficult struggle for freedom.
Thank you.
Hi.
Did we have a meeting scheduled? Denise, we have some concerns about our case.
Okay.
Well, please.
We don't want to make trouble, but the Christians keep bringing up satanism, which completely misrepresents what our religion is about.
We're worried that the Wiccan side isn't being represented fairly, I mean, we're a recognized religion with hundreds of thousands of followers.
We're just looking for balance.
Well, your side is up next, and you'll be able to state your position fully.
I promise.
Thank you.
That's all we ask.
Yeah.
Should we say something? What? - Um, Denise - Uh, we don't know you very well.
Wiccans care about spreading goodwill and restoring the natural balance of the world.
And from you, well, we're feeling a quiet, screaming disharmony.
Come again? Maybe it has to do with the fact that you're recently divorced.
How did you know that? You have a tan line from your ring.
We can help.
It's what we do.
I appreciate your concern, but I'm completely harmonic.
- Okay.
- Okay.
This case is going great.
You did excellent today.
Yeah, whatever that means.
It's so so I'm just gonna I don't want to have sex with you anymore.
Yeah.
Well, as it turns out, as my client, I'm not supposed to have sex with you anyway.
So there we are.
There we are.
I'm trying on my Halloween costume.
What are your thoughts? I prefer to be alone.
Please leave.
- Why? - No reason.
If you were to guess at a reason If I were to guess, I'd say maybe I don't want to socialize with a pinko liberal Democrat commie.
You may think it's patriotic to dissent, and maybe it is, sometimes.
But to sue the army in a time of war is not patriotic.
It borders on treason.
And I'm disgusted with you.
And just so you know, most of the Democrats voted for this war.
John Kerry voted for it.
Hillary Clinton voted for it.
And now suddenly it becomes unpopular, say what you will about Republicans, we stick to our convictions, even when we know we're dead wrong.
Some might say especially then.
It's not funny, Alan.
I can't look at you right now.
I don't know how you could miss me.
This is how I feel.
I don't want to be in your company.
On the ground, there's separate rules for national guards and active duty soldiers.
How do you mean? Well, guardsmen have to write home for essential supplies, little things like flashlights, batteries, to major stuff like body armor.
You weren't given proper body armor? None of us were.
Now you were trained as a medic.
Yes, sir.
And when I got there they had me doing MP duty because there was no one left to do it.
Before I knew it, I was guarding convoys.
With private Elliot? It happened to a lot of us.
There just aren't enough guys over there.
Corporal, based on what your recruiter told you, is this what you expected when you signed up for the national guard? No, sir.
No.
I wanted to go into the medical field.
My recruiter told me that the government would pay for my medical school, and that in Iraq I'd be a medic, never see combat.
Why are you home now? I was shot.
Thank you, corporal.
You were a soldier in a war.
I was told that I would never see combat.
Is it your testimony that you were never trained in combat? That's not my testimony.
And, corporal, before you joined the national guard, you were roughly $6,000 in debt.
Yes.
And the government gave you a hefty signing bonus, which you used to pay off that debt.
Yes, sir.
And now that you're back at home, going to college at nighttuition-free and have a good job, both of which the government facilitated based on your training in the national guard.
- Yes, sir.
- And your testimony is that the government didn't keep its promises to you.
That is not my testimony.
It's actually a good thing that they're calling a witness and that the judge wants to hear from their side.
It means we've made an impression.
- What's this? - My Halloween costume.
We were gonna be flamingos together.
I decided to be a hunter.
Leave.
Hunters shoot flamingos.
Could you excuse us, please? Denny, whether or not one agrees with the war I don't want to talk about it.
Why is that? Why does no one want to talk about it? Why can't friends even discuss it? Because you're either with us or against us, and I don't want to talk to people who are against us.
Wicca is a way to reconnect.
In our modern, mechanized world, people have lost touch with nature, and Wicca teaches us that God is in all living things.
What about magic? The only spells we cast are positive ones.
We believe in the law of three.
Whatever energy you put out in the world will return to you threefold.
So we promote goodwill, not hexes.
Tell us why you want Mrs.
Berleth to end her witch act.
The stereotype, the wicked witch.
My daughter comes home at least once a week crying because the kids in school torment her and say she worships the devil.
You don't worship satan, do you, Evelyn? Wicca has no concept of satan.
The devil and fire and brimstone, hell.
That stuff was dreamed up by Christians.
"Dreamed up"? Now you said Wicca is an ancient belief.
Yes.
But I'm confused.
Wasn't Wicca made up in England in the 1950s? It wasn't made up.
It came about after England finally repealed the last of its witchcraft laws in 1951.
But it's simply a modern version of an old belief system.
Witchcraft laws? Laws created in England and Europe during what are called the burning times.
It started in about 1480 and went on for hundreds of years.
Tens of thousands of innocent people were burned at the stake - Because of these laws.
- Burned by whom? Well, the Christians.
You said you'd leave out the attacks.
- She didn't attack you.
- Sam, Bob, please.
They're making a mockery of our religion.
I did no such thing, What? This is why we came to you.
This is what we were talking about.
Wait a second.
You saw Denise behind our backs? It wasn't behind your back.
Oh, so then you're a hypocrite.
Hey, hey, hey.
I didn't know I was dealing with a hypocrite, that's all.
Hey! Don't push me.
Well, what are you gonna do, turn me into a toad? - All right! - We don't do hexes! We throw punches occasionally.
All right, that's enough.
I think I know where you can put your broomstick.
I told private Elliot exactly what he'd be getting into when he signed up.
I answered all of his questions.
Did you ever lie or mislead private Elliot when he came into your recruitment office? No, sir.
We went over his service contract together, and explained each provision completely.
I may have emphasized the positive, but I never lied to him.
You told private Elliot that he'd be doing things other than cannon loading? Of course.
I explained all the contingencies to him.
I told him the same thing I tell all recruits.
Really? This man Mr.
Dewey, seated in the second row, went to your recruiting office yesterday at our direction.
Do you remember speaking with him, sir? Objection! Mr.
Shore? What are you doing here.
impeachment, your honor.
Sergeant Hendler articulated that he tells the same thing to all recruits.
Mr.
Dewey is one of those all.
I will allow it.
But I have my eye on you.
Again, sergeant, do you remember having a conversation with this young man? - Vaguely.
- Vaguely? You told him the national guard could train him in sound mixing.
We offer a wide spectrum of training possibilities.
Isn't it a fact that you never told Mr.
Dewey he'd have to do anything else? You also told him he'd probably never see combat.
I believe my words were "hopefully, he'd never see combat".
And if Mr.
Dewey says he never heard the word "hopefully," would he be lying or mistaken? Because he's willing to take a polygraph.
- Objection.
- Sustained.
You also mentioned to him something about a "Try one" program.
What's that? Try one is a 1-year trial program.
If you sign up, and you aren't happy at the end of your 1-year contract, then you can leave without officially enlisting in the national guard.
And that's what private Elliot signed up for, correct? Yes, sir.
See, this is what confuses me.
Private Elliot served out his year, fulfilled his contract and clearly wasn't happy.
Why didn't he just come home? Private Elliot was kept in Iraq under the stop loss program.
In case you haven't noticed, we're at war.
Yes.
Tell me, sergeant, under this stop loss program, how much longer had the military planned to keep private Elliot in the service? Private Elliot's obligation was extended to 2031.
Did you tell either Mr.
Elliot or Mr.
Dewey about these contingencies? We're at war, Mr.
Shore.
We need soldiers.
Yes.
According to our generals and military advisors, we need a lot more than the 140,000 currently over there.
Why are we not sending more? Are we trying to win this war or not, sergeant? Your honor, this is clearly a stunt.
He orchestrated this.
These are the children who will be affected.
That doesn't mean you parade them around like exhibits.
Counsel, this has already taken up enough time.
Let's just get through this.
Step back.
Halloween is a secular holiday and as you can see, a fun one.
Now the witch at the center of this case, played with gusto by Mrs.
Berleth, is not a symbol of satanism and in no way defames the religion of the Wiccans.
The whole pageant, indeed, all of Halloween everywhere is just make-believe.
And to claim that this somehow rises to the level of persecution is not only laughable but offensive.
Persecution is an issue, which, to be perfectly frank, neither of these suburban parents nor their high-priced attorneys know anything about.
And it's insulting to groups who have been persecuted to raise that issue at this time in this case.
The First Amendment says we shouldn't discriminate against any group on the basis of region.
It's a nice theory.
But the truth is the law is rarely applied to protect the Christian faith, because being in the majority, well, I guess we feel they can take it.
And if the religion is too far out there, Chriristian scientists? Sure.
Scientologists? Maybe.
Wiccans? Well, at what point does a religion become silly enough that it's okay to make fun of them? And who decides? What this case is really about is tolerance.
Whether it's Hindus attacking Jews or Muslims against Catholics, Christians fighting with Wiccans, the aim of the law is tolerance.
And I could be wrong but, I don't think we ever ratified persecution under the heading of "fun".
Let me read you something by Martin Niemoeller, a German pastor who opposed the Nazis.
"In Germany, they came first for the communists," "and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a communist.
"Then they came for the Jews," "and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew".
"Then they came for the trade unionists," "and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist".
"Then they came for the Catholics, "and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant".
"Then they came for me," "and by that time, there was no one left to speak up".
In war, any war, there are casualties.
For the family of a victim to sue the army for such a casualty is not only patently ridiculous, it's an insult.
First, it offends the memory of the soldier who gave his life to defend his country.
Worse, it's an attack on patriotism and the U.
S.
army itself.
He enlisted.
He was trained in combat.
He assumed the risks of combat.
This lawsuit merely represents a flamboyant attempt to showcase antiwar sentiment.
It is wrong.
It is baseless.
And it's an affront to every soldier, to every veteran who has put himself on the line to defend the United states of America.
Especially, primarily, the ones who have given their lives to do so.
First, this is hardly about antiwar sentiments.
Private Elliot was for the war.
Personally, I was against it.
Then I was for it.
Then I was against it again.
But that's just me.
I'm a flip-flopper.
But whether one is for or against the occupation, and let's assume, judging from your tie, one is, that does not exempt the military from a duty to be honest with its soldiers.
Private Elliot was told he'd serve a year.
He was told he wouldn't see combat.
Okay, unexpected stuff happens.
He did see combat.
Fine.
But he was sent into combat with insufficient backup.
He was sent in to perform duties for which he was never, ever trained.
He wasn't given the most basic of equipment.
And then after his tour of duty was finally up, they wouldn't let him leave.
He never assumed those risks by enlisting.
Over-extended, under-equipped, non-trained.
He never signed up for that.
And now he's dead.
And aside from his sister, nobody seems to care.
We talk about honoring the troops.
How about we honor them by giving a damn when they're killed? Our kids are dying over there.
And this country, the people, the media, we all chug along like nothing is wrong.
We'll spend a month obsessing about Terry Schiavo, but dare we show a body of a fallen soldier? The most watched cable news station will spend an hour a night on a missing girl in Aruba.
But God forbid we pay any attention when kids like private Elliot, killed in action - You're off the point.
- I'm not off the point.
We've had 2,000 American trees fall in that forest over there, and we don't even know it, not really.
But maybe we don't want to know about our children dying.
So lucky for us, this war isn't really being televised.
We're not seeing images of soldiers dying in the arms of their comrades, being blown apart in the streets of Baghdad.
But they are by the thousands.
And all the American public wants to concern itself with is whether Brad and Angelina really are a couple.
At least with Vietnam, we all watched, and we all got angry.
What does this have to do with the death of private Elliot? Private Elliot is dead, in part, because we have a people and a government in denial.
We currently have no strategy to fight this war.
We have no timetable for getting out.
Some of these troops could be extended 20-plus years.
Their mothers and fathers have to spring for body armor because the army doesn't, and they're getting killed! And we, as a nation in denial, are letting them.
We simply don't seem to care.
Well, she does.
She's in this courtroom honoring one dead soldier.
That's a start.
We're dealing here with a pageant in a public school.
A public school can't promote the exercise of any religion, and it can't denigrate the followers of any religion.
No one should take that lightly.
And indeed, Christians, witches and other groups have been persecuted over the years, and no one should take persecution lightly.
But we should take Halloween lightly.
As the defense pointed out, Halloween is a secular holiday.
But more importantly, it's a silly holiday.
Children don't see a witch as a symbol of any sort.
A witch is just something to enjoy being afraid of.
Motion by the plaintiffs is denied.
The Halloween pageant will go on as it always has.
And I advise both parties to lighten up and remember what Halloween really is all about.
The candy.
Court adjourned.
- Sorry.
- Oh, it's okay.
- We forgive you.
- I thought you might.
- Thank you both.
- Bye.
- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.
Listen, tonight's Samhain, that's what we call Halloween.
There's a women's circle after the celebration.
It's a full moon.
It's the perfect time for letting the energy of the goddess heal and restore you.
You need it.
I'll fax you directions.
Thank you so much.
Do I strike you as being out of harmony? All rise! This war is a disaster.
It has been sold to America on a false premise.
The government has been repeatedly told by its most senior military advisors that it needs far more troops.
The advisors have been ignored or in some cases even fired, and now we have what very much looks like the beginning of another Vietnam, except, as Mr.
Shore points out, without the necessary outrage.
That said, like it or not, we are at war.
And the one thing that keeps the military functioning in war is its hierarchy.
Orders are given, orders followed.
That's why congress has granted the military immunity in lawsuits like this.
Miss Elliot, I have the deepest sympathy for you and for your brother.
However I rule in favor of the government.
The motion to dismiss is granted.
I hope at least somebody heard your screams.
If not, then maybe they heard yours.
Thank you.
Well Bye.
- Why? - I'm sorry? Why does it have to be good-bye? We lost, if it's any consolation.
It isn't.
Anybody who truly loves this country, Denny, must at least try to understand the awful truth over there.
One of the reasons it's happening over there Is so it won't happen here.
I'm afraid I don't agree with you, Denny.
But if Americans can continue to nurture the expression of differing opinions, what's happening over there will never happen here.
I don't, I don't think people recognize our costumes.
Maybe we should use the accents.
I give you my word.
I'm not trying to be disrespectful.
I just wanted to feel hot.
Tried it on.
Looked good.
Kept it on.
- Doesn't mean I forgive you.
- Got it.
Denny? You look pretty in pink.
- Not having sex with you.
- Just the same.
What exactly is our costume again? It's, um, "I look good in white tails".
Ah.
Right.
Thank you.
Did I say that? To Alan Shore you did.
- Nothing for you? - No.
What are you thinking about? It's not a trick question.
Can I have a solitary, pensive moment, keep a thought to myself? You forgot what you were thinking.
I don't presume to know whether this is a good war or not, Denny.
But there can be no dispute it's a complex one, one that we as a citizenry, as patriots, need to be talking about.
Here's all you need to know, put me in charge.
- I'll win the damn thing.
- No doubt.
Do you think the army would let two flamingos enlist? Don't ask, don't tell.
Most of the Cranes in my family were flamingos.
Indeed.