Damned (2016) s02e06 Episode Script

You're so annoying.
Hurry up, bell's gone.
- Blimey, lunch at nine? That even beats my record.
- Hungry.
- Ten past nine.
You're late, Rose.
Got an excuse? - No.
Crikey, have you finally cracked and topped Limahl? No, no, I haven't.
Just please ignore me.
No, really, Ingrid, what's in there? Mind your own fucking business! Ooh! Oh, right.
Well, you leave me with no alternative other than to break out the never before deployed howling face red sticker.
Late with insubordination.
Oh, Ingrid! Ah, Adrian.
Now, L is for lamentable, A is for for abominable, T is for a terrible and E is for early which you are not.
Please, don't make me spell it out again.
- Oh, God.
- What's that? Abusive text from Denise's ex? No, it's not Crazy Hazel from Bulky Waste.
No, I told Lee about Dennis last night and I completely misjudged his reaction.
Don't tell me, it was like that actress sob-snotting in Truly, Madly, Deeply.
- Well, I didn't think he'd give a shit.
- Rose, Rose, Rose, you know so little of the male psyche.
Oh, enlighten me, great testosterone telepath! Well, Lee might be thinking you're going to make a go of it with him and even if he didn't want you he can't bear to think of you in the arms of another.
Oh, well, big wobbly bollocks to him.
He can piss off.
Nat, you know I said I was doing something for you? - Oh, not buying sweets, then? - You shouldn't be eating sweets.
Indeed, sugar generally is really bad for you and there are things you need to be doing to prevent your child from becoming severely disabled or, potentially, a vegetable.
- Like a potato? - No, that, to some extent, is why I have compiled your health and wellbeing dossier with lots of advice.
Gut flora and pregnancy.
"Moz art" and your "foitis"? Anyway, take your time to absorb it, like mercury through the umbilical cord, ha! And then we'll have an informal quiz later on today.
I'm just doing it for the baby, Nat, because someone's got to.
- Are you feeling broody? - Oh, God, no.
There are I've got lots of lovely ladies to please before I find the one.
But, anyway, back to your diet.
I see the father hasn't stopped you guzzling sugar - or taking no exercise.
- He really cares about me.
- Yesterday - Oh, there's my phone.
Hello, Elm Heath Children's Services.
Who's this? (It's Al.
Shall we have that chat with Professor Plum) in the conservatory today? - What? - It's code, you fuckwit.
We talked about it yesterday.
Oh! Yes.
Yes, the eagle has landed, or will land.
November India Tango India November? - What? - Well, it's code, you fuckwit! - It's Matthew Wenden here from Our Lady - Oh, Mr Wenden! - How can I help you? - Just get down here as soon as you can, please.
Right, I will be there immediately.
Knobhead.
Nat! Put the doughnut in the bin.
Put it in the bin! Come on, it's for your own good.
Oh, forget it.
Elm Heath Children's Services, can I help you? Anybody there? Hello? I'm wondering, is it illegal to fake your own death to get away from your kids? You two! Fucking shut up, I'm on the phone! Just had a call about some Mormon family who were home-educating their kids a couple of years ago that we were meant to be keeping an eye on? Oh, yeah, I remember them.
A relative thinks the parents aren't really doing the job, but no-one's noticed.
I might pop round there and check.
- Text from your boyfriend? - No, it's a picture of your cock! Actual size on that phone, I imagine.
- How is Dennis the Menace? - It's so nice spending time with someone not wanting to rip off their scrotum and create a collage with it.
- Serious? - Ugh, I don't know.
I try not to think about it.
So, how's the job hunt going? I wasn't going to tell you, but - .
.
I've had a job offer.
- What? Managing holiday cottages on a remote Scottish island.
- No! - Well, I need a new challenge.
Or just at least a happy work life because this is really getting to me.
Well, you could get married and start a family before your sperm get Alzheimer's and don't know which way to go.
I'm handing in my notice today.
River Barrett? It doesn't ring a bell.
- She's how old? - 14.
- And she gave birth in the loo.
- Yes.
- Poor kid.
Didn't even know she was pregnant, apparently.
- Well, how's that possible? - You tell me.
I ca.
.
I can't.
Why would I be able to tell you? I I don't have It was rhetorical.
- OK, how's she doing? - Well, they're keeping her in for a couple of nights just to check all's well.
Good.
Good, that gives us a chance to make a plan.
- Yeah.
- So we need to find out if the parents are helping her and, if not, then we need to explore sending her to a supported mother and baby unit or perhaps finding specialist foster parents for her.
Have you managed to get in touch with any of the parents, relatives? Not yet, no.
I wondered perhaps if you might like to contact them.
What's the mother's name? Barrett, is it? No, she's been married a few times since then.
It's now - Shaz Middleton.
- Shaz Middleton? - Yeah.
Oh, my fucking God.
Sorry.
She's a legendary nightmare.
Not sure I've ever met her.
She's not the type to come to parents' evening.
Hopefully, because she's in jail.
Rose is going to have a bloody fit.
Shaz Middleton was the bane of her life for years.
When she went down for GBH, Rose broke open the bubbly.
Chaps! What's this, a union meeting? Ha! - Can we have a little chat? - Oh, that's a bit serious.
Well, spit it out.
You and me meet at your flat.
Everyone thinks it's perverted and creepy.
Well, you certainly did spit that out.
People are talking.
Yes, I know.
Probably time I had a word.
- Doughnut? - What? Would either of you like a doughnut? I've brought some in.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Hi.
Hannah, isn't it? - Yeah.
- I'm Rose Denby, from Social Services.
I'm sorry, I realise that no-one's been to see you for a long time.
That's all right.
We've been fine.
Is it all right if I just come in and say hello to the children? Yeah.
Jesus wept.
John, chapter 11, verse 35.
What do you mean? "Jesus wept" is the shortest verse in the New Testament.
- What are you both doing? - We are doing Bible study.
How often do you do that? Once a day.
- For how long? - For all day.
- You don't go to the park? - No.
- No.
- Sport? - No.
- Blimey.
- That means "blind me" and is a profanity.
Christ.
Sorry.
Can we have a word? Arms up, breathe in.
Arms down, breathe out.
Aw, that's complicated.
Arm up, breathe out.
arm down, breathe out.
- Oh, thank God.
- Oh! - Thank you, God.
No, it's fine, Ingrid.
Just keep trying, Nat, you're doing slightly better than you did at the beginning of the session.
Everything all right, Ingrid? Wow, Ingrid, that really is a massive trolley.
- Promise you won't tell anybody? - What, that your trolley's massive? - No, look.
- So what? Boring old files.
It's the missing files.
Ha-ha, very funny.
- Look.
- What happened? Well, when we moved office I was supposed to help digitalise them, but I got a bit muddled and so I brought a load of them home to sort out but then my anxiety got really bad and So I just shoved them up in the attic and forgot about them.
So how come you remembered them? Well, Limahl sometimes goes up to the attic to Oh, I use the airing cupboard.
To masturbate? No, to have a little cry when I'm emotional.
Oh, well, I went up there to clear up his mess and I noticed all the boxes of files.
Have you told Denise? Now, I know how much you wanted to be the one that found them - so I wondered if you wanted to tell her? - Really? Cool! I'll have to think of a believable place I've found them.
Maybe your attic? No.
Of course.
Um.
My attic? No, I haven't got one.
Never mind, I'll think of something.
Right, we've got a lot to get through today.
Let's push on.
Rose, what have you got? - Uh, Denise, could I say something? - You already did.
Rose? Well, I visited a family today, a Mormon family.
The children are being home-schooled.
The house was spotless, the children were clean and well-dressed, but Moving on.
But I felt there was something a bit weird and sterile, a sense of foreboding.
Rose, just make a bloody decision.
School Attendance Order if you like or leave them to baste in fevered fundamentalism.
Whatever.
Just sort it.
You wouldn't say that about a Muslim family.
OK.
Can we just move on to me? I got a call from Mr Wenden this morning who's the head teacher at Our Lady Academy to tell me that an incident had occurred, so Oh, for Christ's sake, Nitin, this isn't a performance of social workers' Hansard.
In a nutshell, please.
A 14-year-old girl had a baby in a toilet at the school.
The girl's River Barrett.
She's the daughter of Shaz Middleton.
She's not out, is she? That's all I bloody need.
- Denise? - Shut up, Nat.
She's out? Well, I think if she's out that's something to be celebrated.
Denise is referring to her being out of prison.
She went there on the evidence of our very own Rose Denby.
Interesting fact, 60% of prison inmates do tend to reoffend.
Well, OK, thanks.
Especially the ones called Shaz.
You'll need a stab vest.
- A stab vest? - You should wear a stab vest.
Denise? I found the missing files! Oh, well done! Oh, God, I thought you were having another baby.
They can't get another one in now, can they? Once you've got one, that's your womb occupied.
- Yeah, I know that.
- Where did you find them? - In the haunted toilet.
- Good grief.
- Elaborate, please.
- Yeah, well, you know the toilet that's been locked since we got here? Al told me it was because it was haunted.
Look, leave it and I'll sort them.
I've moved them all into the stock cupboard on Ingrid's massive trolley - because of the ghost.
- There is no ghost! I'll have a good look through them, Denise, see if I can find the relevant files to clear up the Elm Heath Strollers football coach allegation.
Did you not hear what I said? Leave them alone.
I will sort them.
Shit, sorry! I should have sacked her when I had the chance.
Now I'm saddled with her fucking maternity package.
Too harsh? - No.
- No.
- Mimi, could you take over the notes, please? I think you'll find I don't tend to do secretarial work.
Well, could you tend to do it just for today, please? - So, Alistair.
- I've just had a call from Mr Lady at Our Wenden Academy.
Reverse.
No, no, no.
Reverse the names.
Mr Wenden at Our Lady Academy.
What did he say that was so important? Er, he said that River Barrett has run away from hospital - and taken the baby with her.
- Shit! There you are, I've been You all right? Um, the file? - What are you - Martin, Martin, don't! Oh, my giddy aunt! "Darren Galloway is a known fantasist, according to several other boys, "therefore it's hard not to conclude that said abuse is a figment of his "imagination.
In short, I find him to be unreliable and in no way a "credible witness.
Yours sincerely, Denise Donnelly.
" I need that bloody thing to disappear.
I want it to disappear.
No, no, no.
I mean, what are you doing? You can't destroy public records! - That would be - I know, Martin! I know what it would be.
But, please, I'm begging you, don't say anything until I've had a chance to think.
Hiya, I've come to see Shaz.
It's about her daughter, River? And you are? Yeah, I'm Al Kavanagh, from Social Services.
All right, mate.
Come in.
- Social services.
- What? - All right, Shaz? - Yeah, if it isn't Mr Curly Cocksucker from the SS.
So, how's Rose doing? Rose is fine, so let's try and keep it that way, shall we? Try to be nice, Shaz.
Remember what I said.
Sorry, love.
What can I do for you? - I'm looking for River.
- Well, River ain't here, so ta-ra.
Shaz, this is important.
She's just given birth.
She needs attention.
She's left hospital way too soon for the staff to be sure she's OK.
Shaz, you would tell me wouldn't you, if you knew where River was? Yes, of course.
All right? Now, off you go.
- What's that? - That's nothing.
It's a dog.
It's got an infection.
Now, do one.
That's a person.
That is a person in pain.
- Oi! Oi! - Go after him! Let's just hope she don't declare us, eh? River? - Oh, my God.
- I'm going to die, aren't I? You're not going to die.
I'm going to I'm calling the ambulance now.
- I don't want to give my baby to that prick! - What? Listen, someone's going to come, OK? Someone's going to come.
- Yeah, Ambulance, please.
- This is all your fault, you know that? - Oh, shut up, woman! - Oh, fuck off! - I'm calling an Ambulance.
- You ain't taking her! - For fuck's sake! You want to be responsible for killing your own fucking daughter? Is that what you want? Al's on his way back.
He's found River Barrett.
Oh.
Hmm.
Thank goodness for small mercies.
- You want a hand? - No, thanks.
But now that you're here, there is something that we ought to sort out.
Um You've been staying at mine, rent-free, for a while now, bless you.
Um, thing is, I can't afford it forever.
Plus, believe it or not, people are starting to talk.
- The patriarchy always get - Mimi, Mimi, please.
Just for once, stop hiding behind all that stuff.
Sorry! I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I've been very stressed with all the extra responsibility.
Look, my mum thinks I've got a proper paid job.
All right, I told her I did, to impress her.
And then she asked me to move out so that she could rent the room, cos she's broke.
And now I feel like a shit feminist because apparently I need a man - to look after me! - OK, well, look, now, I'm sorry I broached the subject.
Stay as long as you like.
And don't worry, I've, uh, I've got some premium bonds.
I don't know what those are, but thank you.
And you know what, Mimi? You could help your case around here by being just a little less earnest.
Why don't you try to just lighten up a bit? That sort of thing, yes.
'Hi, Denise.
Jenny thingy for you.
Your boss, I think.
' Yes, thank you, Natalie, I know who she is.
Hello, Jenny.
Thank you.
I was literally just about call you.
Some old files have turned up that cover that period of historic abuse at the football club, and it appears I may have dealt with a - 'Yes, Denise, yes, we are aware of these and of your' - Oh.
- 'There will be an immediate enquiry.
' - May I ask who told you? 'No.
' That's all right.
I can imagine.
Apparently you can get 20 grand now for a new baby.
And Shaz knows some local gangster whose wife can't conceive, so he puts the word out that he wants to buy a baby.
So they roped this kid River in, and they give her five grand and an underage sex session with Mr Gangster.
- Oh, God.
- And after the birth, the placenta wasn't completely ejected, and she very quickly became dangerously ill.
- That's what Mary Wollstonecraft died from.
- Mary Woolycraft? Yeah, very similar, except that was in the 18th century.
Yeah, everyone knows Mary Woolycraft died in 18th century.
- Anyway, would anyone like to go to the pub? - Yeah, I'm in.
- No, thanks.
You'll have to play gooseberry.
I've got a date with Dennis.
- That little creeping shit! - Any news? - Bastard! - What happened? Like you don't know.
It was you, wasn't it? - What? - Traitor! After all I've done for you.
I stood by you when you were off your fucking rocker! Denise! I have not said a word to anyone.
I swear.
You've got to believe me! Are you all right? Well, obviously not! Anyone else care to contribute some meaningless drivel to this discussion? Except Nitin! 'Mr Galloway, how do you feel, now that you know that Elm Heath Social Services shut down your case?' It'd a victory, innit? Shit, Denise, you've been suspended? - 'I'm not a liar.
' - Is suspended the same as sacked? 'I told people what happened then, nobody listened' I would like to just say, none of you know what it was like back then! We were hated.
We were seen as amateurs.
We were drowning in work! Do you honestly think anything has changed? The cuts are driving us to breaking point! I feel like I'm going round a World War I battlefield with some Calpol and a wet wipe.
Fucking Hazel! It was her! Alistair? I'm going on a break! You and Martin can take over in the interim.
- Good luck! - Denise, I'm handing in my notice Good luck! Come on, everybody, start celebrating! Hurrah! Oh, this fucking, shitting door! It's all right, Denise, I changed the code there.
You OK, Mart? You could do with a drink, eh? You know what, I'm feeling a bit too choked.
You all go.
If we go home and watch a film together? Yes, a lovely idea, Mimi.
"Netflix and chill.
" Martin, "Netflix and chill" means to watch half a film and then have - rampant sex.
- What? No, it doesn't.
What? Well, I, I mean, you know, just watching together, the film, or something.
Popcorn between us.
Just the usual.
We'll be all right.
Catch you She's on her fourth brandy and Babycham.
Hazel's really dumped her in it.
- Oh, cheer up.
- I bought a windcheater and some special gloves.
Yeah, but you don't belong up there, you belong here.
- Christ, I'll be the boss now.
- Eewww, yeah.
- Another one? - Yeah.
- Cheer up, Denise.
- Fuck off, Alistair.
All right? Hey.
- Hello, Rose.
- Oh, hi.
Come on, she's not that bad! What happened? - Suspended.
- Oh, Christ! - I'll go chat to her in a sec.
- Oh, Rose! - God.
- We're all waiting at home, I've cooked your favourite dinner.
- Why? - It's our anniversary.
- No, it isn't.
- Of when we first met.
- Pint, please.
- Tosser.
Look, I'm going to shoot.
- Oh, no.
- My first marriage broke up, I don't want to be the guy that does that to another family.
Please stay.
I've no idea why Lee is doing this.
Right.
Now, Rose I want this to work.
For the sake of the kids! Oh.
Mum, please.
- Dad's wonderful.
- Right, come on, the, let's all go and sit over there and we'll get you drinks in a moment.
That's it.
Right.
Who wants what, then? - I want a fizzy orange and a packet of nuts.
- Lee! Lee! What do you think you're doing? It's inappropriate for them to be in the pub.
Take them back to the car.
- All right.
Sorry.
- Dad, you said we were having a drink.
Yes, but Mum says no.
Come on, I'll catch you up.
I'm coming, I'm coming right now.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Look, Rose, neither of us is ready for this.
I'm sorry.
It's been really great.
- I'll see you around.
- Dennis? Come on, stinker, let's get you home.
- Oh, God.
- Put that down, down, down.
- Hi, Denise.
- Fuck off.
- Bye, Denise.
- There you are.
- My bloke can't come to the birth, - his wife says they've got to go to Center Parcs.
- Shocker.
So my new birthing partner is Nitin.
- What? - Fuck a duck.
This day gets better and better.
- Cheers.
Oh! - Oh! - Oh, Nat! Did you just eat a tin of custard? Oof, that's better.