Dead to Me (2019) s02e06 Episode Script

1
You wanna tell us where
you went last night?
- You're not in trouble.
- You're in so much fucking trouble.
I just drove without a
license. Who cares?
The law. That's who cares.
Do you know what the punishment
is for driving without a license?
What?
- You go to fucking jail.
- A ticket, then
- Seriously?
- Mm-hmm.
You could get your mom
in a lot of trouble, too.
Yeah. So
Do you want to tell me where
you went on your little joyride?
We didn't really go anywhere.
I picked up Parker around four,
then we drove out to where you found us.
We we barely got out of the car.
- Oh, really? You barely got out?
- Mm-hmm.
What were you doing sitting
in a car for five hours?
- Oh, God.
- Okay.
- Oh.
- Give me your phone.
- What?
- You heard me.
And go get your laptop and
all your video game shit
and a power drill.
Why?
Because you just lost your bedroom door.
That
- That's fucking crazy.
- You know what?
Until you can prove to me that
you can make good decisions
and that you care about
anybody but yourself,
you are gonna go where I go,
you are gonna do what I do.
No privileges and no fucking fun.
Judy, will you tell her
she's being insane?
I think Jen is your mother,
and you should listen to her
and trust that she knows
what she's doing.
- Thank you, Judy.
- You're welcome.
You sure you know what you're doing?
I feel like you're being a little harsh.
Do you really think burning
the car was the best idea?
Charlie's fingerprints were all over it.
What choice did I have?
Don't you think it's like
sending a smoke signal?
Oh, my God. If I have to explain it,
then you're not gonna fucking get it.
- Mommy.
- Hi.
My stomach hurts.
I don't think I can go to
Holy Harmonies practice.
- Aww.
- But, babe, it's your first solo tonight.
Oh, maybe he's a little nervous?
Okay, look. Hen, we all have
stuff that we don't want to do,
but sometimes in life
there are have-to's,
and you made a commitment,
so this is a have-to.
Here, for your tummy.
Thanks.
Is that a new necklace?
It's pretty.
Yeah. My new friend gave me the stone,
and then I made the necklace.
Cool.
New friend? What new friend?
Michelle. I met her at work.
Oh.
- Happy?
- Fucking ecstatic.
Oh, God.
- Motherfuck
- Oh, sh
Oh. Hey, Mrs. Harding.
Hi, Parker.
Look, I just wanted to
say I'm really sorry.
I think that we got off on
the wrong foot last night.
Yeah. You were, like, freaking out.
Yeah, that was nothing.
Uh, that's why I brought
you some cupcakes.
Aww, thanks, um, but I don't
eat, like, cupcake dough.
Sure. Uh, actually, you know what?
You posted a picture of Charlie.
Oh, yeah.
He looks like a total snack, right?
Right.
Here's the thing.
Charlie doesn't have a driver's license.
So if anyone saw that picture,
he would get in a lot of trouble.
- Oh, God.
- Yeah.
So I'm gonna need you
to, like, take it down.
Oh.
Tsk. Yeah, see, I would,
because I love Charlie,
but I can't.
Wait, why?
'Cause I get paid.
I'm a micro-influencer, so
I have no idea what the
fuck you're talking about.
Well, Instagram has, like, big
influencers and small influencers.
This is so fucking embarrassing.
Your mom is just trying to
protect you. She loves you.
Yeah, well, she's pretty
shitty at showing it.
I lost my virginity in a car.
It was beautiful.
It was a '78 Corvette.
We're not having this conversation.
No? Okay.
Do you like her? Parker.
I don't know.
Whatever. How does anybody
know if they like anybody?
I don't know.
Feel like you
just like to be around them.
You want to be with them all the time,
and they make you feel safe.
And you can be your
best self and your
- when you feel vulnerable
- Okay, can we not talk anymore?
Yeah.
One more thing.
Please use condoms.
You don't want to get warts.
- Or
- Yep.
any other sores down there.
Okay.
'Cause if there's oozing,
you're gonna be pretty upset.
And so under 800,000 followers is,
like, a whole different pay scale.
Okay, so how much then for
you to take the picture down?
Like, 100 bucks?
That's not a lot of money anymore.
Oh, fuck you. Um
Five hundred.
A thousand dollars.
And because you love Charlie,
you will never mention your
little outing to anyone ever.
Okay.
Okay.
Please hold these.
What's
What are you drawing?
Seriously?
It's a check.
Okay. Uh
- Do you have Venmo?
- Do I have what, what?
Oh, you also have to watch out
for chlamydia, gonorrhea,
syphilis, which made
Benjamin Franklin crazy.
I don't know if you know,
but that's what he died of.
Anyway
Oh, thank God.
How'd that go?
Expensive, but she is
going to take it down.
Hey, Charlie, your girlfriend's
a little extortionist.
She's not my girlfriend.
She seems to think so.
She said she loved you.
- Oh, Charlie.
- Shit, really?
Char
Charlie, you need to know
that sex is something different
for girls at your age.
At any age.
There are feelings involved.
You just gotta be careful, okay?
I know. Judy told me about warts.
It was part of a larger conversation.
Is that a thing? Do people
even get warts anymore?
There's a vaccine.
- You should get the vaccine.
- It's so '70s.
- Oh, shit.
- What?
- Why are they calling you?
- I don't know.
- Shouldn't you answer?
- Do I have to?
Miss Hale, thank you for coming.
Of course.
Your hair looks amazing.
- Did you do something different?
- No.
We got some new information
pertaining to Steve Wood.
Oh, you do?
We've gained access
to his phone records.
Oh!
We've been trying to piece
together a timeline,
and interestingly, his last
calls made were to you.
Were they?
He called you a total of nine
times the night he disappeared.
Oh, that's right. He called,
but I didn't get it.
I just let them go to voicemail.
Hmm. You still have those voicemails?
Hmm. I don't know, I mean, do I?
Miss Hale, we can do this the hard way:
I go to a judge, request a warrant,
but it doesn't look great, or you
could just play me the messages.
- Which do you prefer?
- Neither.
- Neither's not an option.
- Okay.
If there's any information on
those voicemails, I need to know.
- There isn't.
- Prove it.
Do you think that maybe
there's somewhere private
that we could listen to them?
What the fuck, Judy?
You have some fucking nerve,
you know that? You better call me.
You hear me? Call me, you fucking bitch!
I really appreciate you taking
the time to do this today.
Yeah, well, of course.
But I mean, if you like
it, I would jump on it,
'cause it's not gonna be
on the market for long.
Oh, I'll bet. It's pretty shwanky.
Oh, yeah, it's shwanky.
I mean, yes, it's more
than you wanted to pay,
but it does have a rooftop
terrace with a fire pit,
and of course, the beach
is your backyard.
I'm not much of a beach guy.
That's more Steve's deal.
Well, the curtains are remote control,
so you can just shut those
- and not even look out there.
- You know what?
Nothing matters. I'll take it.
- Really?
- Yes.
I just have to get out
of my parents' house.
I have to. The same thing
happens every night.
My mom asks, "When you think
we're gonna find Steve?"
I'm like, "Soon, probably."
And then she asks me
if I want ice cream.
That's 'cause that's what she wants.
And then I go get the ice
cream. I bring it back.
She cries 'cause I'm not Steve.
And then I eat the ice cream.
- Oh, yeah. That sounds unhealthy.
- Yeah. It is.
I put on 4 LBs. All in my butt.
Well, lots of stairs here,
so you can work that off.
Yeah. My parents are just
spiraling, you know,
and now they're starting to
talk about offering a reward.
A reward for what?
Charlie, not now.
Oh. For anyone that just
might know anything
about where my brother could be.
You know, I just feel like
Don't you feel like
a reward is just really a
slippery slope, you know?
- Yeah.
- Because then it's like giving,
like, a megaphone to all the crazies
so they can just be like,
"Yeah, I've seen him."
- Yeah.
- You know, "Down at the mart."
- How much of a reward?
- Charlie, seriously!
Oh. Oh, I gotta get this.
- Oh, yeah, no problem.
- Um, excuse me.
I know you see me calling, bitch.
Come on, Jude, will you
just call me, please?
I I'm sorry. I love you.
Will you please, please call me back?
I just need to talk to you.
I need you.
Come on, Jude.
Will you call me back, baby, please?
I love you.
All right? Let's work this out.
I love you.
You're not gonna get away with this!
You're no fucking angel.
You can't hide forever,
and when I fucking find you,
I am going to fucking kill you!
You hear me? You are fucking dead!
Oh, I take it he didn't find you.
No.
Are you at all concerned about
your safety, Miss Hale?
What?
Are you afraid he's gonna hurt you?
No.
Char.
Oh, there you are.
Hey.
Oh, Jesus fucking Christ,
now you're smoking?
- Better than vaping.
- God, what is wrong with you?
Everything, apparently.
- What, so now, like, nothing matters?
- Not really.
Anything I do, you're
gonna be mad at me.
You know what?
I don't want to be mad
at you, okay, Charlie?
So help me out here and do
something fucking right.
It's just a stupid cigarette.
It's not like you never do it.
What? What are you talking about?
I've seen the pack you hide
on the shelf in the kitchen
where the big bowls are.
Yeah, well, you know what?
I do what I want. I'm an adult.
So you just get to do
whatever the fuck you want?
Yeah, I do.
And when you're an adult,
you can, too, but for now,
you are a kid,
and I would try to hold onto that
for as long as you can, honey.
'Cause let me tell you something,
when you get to the other side,
you are gonna have to deal
with some pretty shitty stuff.
Like I haven't?
- Hey.
- Hey.
What happened?
- It's okay. They haven't found the car.
- Uh-huh.
- But
- Uh, gotta go. I gotta go.
Hey. Everything all right?
They, uh
found remains.
What?
Where?
Um
I don't know. My dad's friend
called from the station, and, uh
I'm supposed to go down
there or something.
I I don't know how to do this.
Do you have anyone that
can go with you or
No. Um
It's all right. I can go alone.
No, you shouldn't have to do that.
Okay.
Excuse me, ma'am, you can't
be doing that stuff here,
unless you're gonna share.
Sure.
But you have to step into my office.
Oh, fuck, yes! This song is the best.
Actually, no, never mind. I have
never heard this song in my life.
Wait, you're not up on whatever
kind of music this is?
Apparently not.
It's stuck on AM.
But it's very comforting.
- I could see that.
- Yeah.
I'm sorry I ran off last night.
Oh, no, don't
No stress.
I'm just, uh, I'm sorry you had to go.
I was having a really good time.
Yeah, me too.
And then Jen had an emergency, so
Is everything okay?
Um
No
Her son stole a car.
Oh, shit.
Yeah.
So you're that friend, huh?
You're the clutch friend?
Yes, but she is too.
She's, you know
She's great. She took me in when
I was kinda in between places.
- So you guys, uh, live together?
- Mm-hmm.
And you're just friends?
Oh, just friends, yeah.
'Cause you're not, uh
Not with her.
- Is this the moonstone I gave you?
- Yes, yes.
I thought it looked pretty like this.
It does.
It looks really pretty on you.
Thank you.
Should we, um
maybe
go get some tacos?
Yeah.
I am fucking starving.
It's not him.
It's not?
Mr. Wood, I know your family
has connections here,
but everyone needs to follow protocol.
Are you sure it's not him?
Forensics just determined the
remains belonged to a female.
Oh, that's great.
I mean, uh a great
tragedy for her family.
Yeah. Uh
- Thank you, Detective.
- Yes, thank you.
I'm sorry. How do you
two know each other?
Oh, I'm helping him find a rental.
- Yeah, Steve's ex introduced us.
- Mm-hmm.
Judy Hale?
- You know Judy?
- I do.
- It's a small town.
- No, it's not.
Ehhh.
Hi, may I have two salmon tacos,
uh, two chicken,
two tofu mushroom burgers?
That's too much.
Accept your destiny, please.
Um, one beef burrito, uh
carnitas nachos, loaded,
and one large guac.
And two Mexican Cokes, please.
That was masterful.
No, no, I got it.
Thank you.
Here. Keep the change.
Thank you.
I love a Mexican Coke.
- Aren't they so much better?
- The best.
- They're real sugar.
- Yes, that's why.
I can't believe you
haven't been here before.
Best tacos in Laguna.
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I just choked for a second.
- Hmm.
- This Coke.
- Hey, Nick.
- Hey.
My God, it's great to see you.
Is it?
Hi, I'm Michelle.
- What's up?
- Hi.
How are how are you doing?
Well, I left my house today,
so that's a start.
How's
How's Steve?
How's he?
He's, uh
Who's Steve?
- Oh, that's her boyfriend.
- No. He's my ex-boyfriend.
- That didn't work out.
- Yeah. Guess I know how that goes.
- Hey, it was really nice to meet you.
- You too.
- Take care.
- Mm.
Drive safely.
- What the fuck was that?
- Yeah, right?
Weird.
- Order's up.
- Oh, that's us.
Well, that was a relief, huh?
- Yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
Oh. Oh, God, Ben.
- Ben.
- I'm sorry.
It's okay. You don't have to apologize.
I just thought, you know
I thought for sure it
was gonna be Steve.
Well, it wasn't him.
No, I know, but for a minute
there, I thought it was
I thought it was gonna be him.
Ooh, God, I feel sick.
- Oh, this is a terrible feeling.
- Mm-hmm.
I don't know how people
live with that feeling.
Well, you don't have a choice.
You just learn to cope.
Yeah.
Thank you for coming with me.
I know this is not how you
wanted to spend your afternoon,
- at a police station.
- Oh, it's okay.
You're a very kind realtor.
Can I, um
pay you back with a mocktail?
Oh, uh, I I can't.
Yours doesn't have to be a
mock, it can be a cock
Cocktail.
No, I got it. Uh, no,
actually, I have to go.
My son is singing his
first solo with his
Always so hard to say.
his Christian rock choral group.
Wait.
Are you talking about
the Holy Harmonies?
Why do you know that?
Holy Harmonizer, '86 through '89.
- Really?
- Yes.
Actually, I'm not surprised by that.
Wow, that's great!
Oh, I'd love to see that.
I mean, not that, you know,
I'm self-inviting or anything.
You are, though, aren't you?
- I mean, it's been a while.
- Okay.
- The more the merrier.
- And
- Really?
- Sure.
Oh, fantastic news.
- My cup of tizzle.
- Mm-hmm.
Well, we only dated for a little bit.
He's actually really sweet.
Just didn't end so great.
Yeah, that was obvious.
I feel like I'm gonna need the story.
The story doesn't really paint
me in the greatest light.
Well, now I want to hear more.
I thought I was pregnant
with someone else's baby.
- Oh, okay.
- Yeah.
But I wasn't.
It turns out that, um
I can't have kids, actually.
I'm sorry.
Thanks.
Is that something you really wanted?
Yeah.
Yeah, very much.
Yeah, me too.
I always wanted to adopt, but
my ex didn't want kids.
Maybe the next person will.
Yeah, maybe.
I still live with her, which is a thing.
Your ex?
Yeah.
I mean, we broke up a while ago,
uh, but
I couldn't just cut and
run. I mean, she
she grew up in foster care, and
she has abandonment stuff.
We're more like family than
anything else at this point, but
I don't know, I hope that
doesn't sound weird.
I think it sounds really sweet.
- Would you wanna
- You wanna go see a kids' Christian choir?
Wow, well, I was gonna
say go see a movie,
but what you just said is weirder.
So yeah.
- Let's do that.
- Yeah.
Like a fool I went
and stayed too long ♪
Now I'm wondering ♪
If your love's too strong ♪
Ooh, Jesus ♪
Here I am, signed, sealed, delivered ♪
I'm yours ♪
Then that time I went ♪
How badly do you want to run up there
- and join them?
- So badly!
Now I'm back and not ashamed to cry ♪
Ooh, Jesus ♪
- Here I am ♪
- Wow!
Signed, sealed, delivered, I'm yours ♪
Here I am, Jesus ♪
Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
I'm yours, Jesus ♪
Hey!
Here I am, Jesus ♪
Signed, sealed, delivered ♪
I'm yours, Jesus ♪
Yeah, this is even
weirder than I thought.
I mean, but it is cute.
Oh, wait till you see Henry.
Hey.
- Can I speak to you stage right?
- Ooh, Jesus ♪
Here I am, signed, sealed ♪
What's going on, huh?
Henry's having some show night jitters.
Oh, I'm sure he's just nervous
'cause he has a solo.
I think he's still upset about
what my dog did to his bird,
but we're sending Adele
to boot camp as we speak.
- Why?
- I don't know how to discipline.
I've only ever had two
rules in my house:
smoke out the windows
and don't bring Prosecco.
Adele didn't kill the bird.
- What?
- Shandy did it.
Which, looking back,
seems like it was right there.
- I thought I told you.
- No, you did not. Jen!
Adele is halfway to Oxnard.
God. Well, maybe she'll pick up
some good habits or something.
Hey.
What's going on?
It's okay, tell her.
Tell me what, hon?
He doesn't want to do it.
It's too much for him, but
he's scared that you're
gonna be mad, so
Oh, Boop, I'm not mad.
I thought I had to.
- Um
- Hmm?
Honestly, this is for the best.
He hasn't exactly found his falsetto.
Okay, look.
Let's forget the have-to's. Okay?
What do you want to do?
Whoo-hoo! Yeah!
- No, no, no!
- No, I'm good at this game!
Fuck, yeah!
- Look at you on your Harley!
- Wow!
Oh.
Well, it is very nice to meet
you, new friend Michelle.
Likewise. Judy speaks
very, very highly of you.
'Cause I know all of her secrets.
Can I get anybody a drink so
that I can begin to drink?
Yes, please. Thank you.
Um, I'll take a Chardonnay.
- Yeah, me, too. Please.
- Great.
I will get two bottles, just to be safe.
Oh, yes. Thank you.
You like her.
I do.
She makes me feel really good.
- You deserve that.
- Thanks.
She seems great.
She's got a very nice energy.
What, did you just comment
on someone's energy?
Nope.
- I'm pretty sure I heard that.
- Nope.
- "Nice energy."
- Don't get excited.
- Uh-huh.
- Didn't happen.
It did.
She's getting me booze, and
she suggested two bottles.
- She's really funny
- So what is she gonna get for herself?
All right.
Go, go, go, go!
Oh, we got a tight one.
This is a nail biter.
I know. Yes!
Whoo! Hey, third!
Look who won.
Nicely done. Nice.
How's your pinball game?
I'm pretty good at pinball.
Yeah? Strong? All right. Let's find one.
- Hey. What? What's up?
- Hey.
I'm gonna put your door back on.
Just don't have sex in there.
Or do. I It's better than
a car, I don't know. Just
Just protect yourself.
Always get consent.
- Yep.
- Okay?
Okay.
Oh, yeah. All right, okay.
- Are you letting me win?
- Uh, maybe
What?
Oh, um
I just remembered I should write
you a check for that rental.
Oh, I'm not letting you take that place.
No, you shouldn't be
paying oceanfront prices
when you hate the beach.
Just
You wanna like what you're looking at.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, you do.
The beating of our hearts ♪
Is the only sound ♪
Look at the way ♪
Cheers.
'Cause what would they say? ♪
Running just as fast as we can ♪
Holding on to one another's hand ♪
Trying to get away into the night ♪
And then you put your arms around me ♪
And we tumble to the ground ♪
And then you say ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
There doesn't seem
to be anyone around ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
The beating of our hearts ♪
Is the only sound ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
There doesn't seem
to be anyone around ♪
I think we're alone now ♪
The beating of our hearts ♪
Is the only sound ♪
Running just as fast as we can ♪
Holding on to one another's hand ♪