Ed, Edd n Eddy (1999) s02e06 Episode Script

1
YEAH!
[TIRES SCREECHING]
[DING DING]
CUSTOMER!
HUP! HUP! HUP! HUP!
HELLO, ED BOYS. I MUS
USE YOUR RESTROOM!
THE RESTROOM'S FOR PAYING
CUSTOMERS ONLY, ROLFIE.
YOUR TRACTOR
COULD USE SOME WORK.
FINE! YES! GO!
KEY'S IN THE GARAGE.
IS THAT COAGULATION
OF DIRT AND CLAY ROLF?
DID YOU GIVE HIM PERMISSION
TO GO INTO MY HOUSE?
HE'LL TRACK MUD!
RELAX. HE'LL NEVER
MAKE IT INSIDE.
MAY THE FLEAS FROM YOUR
COW INFLAME YOUR RHUBARB!
[ENGINE STARTS]
LET'S BRING HER INSIDE, BOYS!
[SCREECH]
WHOA!
THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING
I'D EXPECT FROM YOU, ED.
[CRASH]
IT'S REALLY SOMETHING I
WANTED TO DO, DOUBLE-D.
WHOO-HOO!
DEMOLITION DERBY, BOYS!
COOL CRASH, HUH, ED?
I'VE SEEN BETTER, EDDY.
WHAT?
LOOK. THE TRACTOR
IS STILL INTACT.
YOU COULD HAVE DONE A
LOT MORE WITH THE TREE,
AND YOU HARDLY
WRECKED KEVIN'S FENCE.
AND THE STEERING WHEEL SHOULD
BE RAMMED OVER YOUR HEAD, LIKE SO.
OH, EXCUSE ME. I'M SUCH A HACK!
I'll BE IN MY TRAILER.
EDDY GOT A TRAILER!
WHAT'S THIS THING
DOING ON MY LAWN?
IT SEEMS SOME MISINFORMED
OUT-OF-TOWNERS LOST THEIR WAY.
YEAH? WELL, I'M SENDING IT BACK!
[GRUNTING]
ED, GIVE ME A HAND!
FOUND ONE!
THIS JOKE IS OLDER
THAN MY MESOZOIC
FOSSIL COLLECTION, ED.
WHOOPS! THERE IT GOES.
[CLANK]
YUP. MY BRAIN'S STOPPED.
[GIRLS GIGGLING]
DID YOU HEAR THAT?
KANKERS!
AND WE'RE IN THE OPEN!
HIDE IN HERE!
WAIT TILL THE FOLKS
AT HOME SEE THIS.
I'M A MOVIE STAR!
MOVE IT, MAY, I'M BEAT!
MARIE, GET THA
CAMERA OUT OF MY FACE!
HEY, I THOUGHT THIS PLACE
SHOULD HAVE BEEN CLEANED UP
BY THE TIME WE GOT BACK.
I'M CALLING THE MANAGER.
MY FEET ARE KILLING ME.
AHHH VACATIONS
SURE ARE TIRING.
WHAT'S ON TV?
YOU ALWAYS PICK
SOMETHING STUPID.
HEY! SLIDE OVER!
WE'RE WATCHING INFOMERCIALS.
UH, WE USE NEW
STENCH-AWAY DEODORANT.
KEEPS ME DRY AND FRESH.
THAT JUNK WRECKED MY CLOTHES.
GIVE ME THAT THING!
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT!
[IMITATES SIREN]
REQUESTING BACKUP!
WE'RE IN HOT PURSUIT!
IT'S MY TURN TO DRIVE.
BEEP! TRANSFER, PLEASE!
[THUD]
Kankers: IT'S OUR BOYFRIENDS!
WE'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
YEAH, WE NEED TOUR GUIDES.
FORGET TOUR GUIDES!
JUST GET YOUR STINKING
TRAILER OFF MY LAWN!
BUT WE'RE ON HOLIDAYS!
UH-OH. TOURISTS.
SUN. SWEAT.
AND SOUVENIRS!
WHY, THESE SOUVENIRS
LOOK SUSPICIOUSLY FAMILIAR.
AAH! GIRLS WERE
IN MY ROOM, EDDY!
THESE LOCALS SURE KNOW
HOW TO MAKE BACK-SCRATCHERS.
AHHHH WHY DON'
YOU KANKERS GET LOST?
AND FORGET ABOU
ANY LOVEY-DOVEY STUFF.
LOVEY-DOVEY!
ED, YOU DOLT!
AAAAAAHHHHH!
RUN AWAY!
AAH!
FLOUNDER!
COME ON, ED! HURRY UP!
STOOL FOR BLOCKING.
COME ON, COME ON!
COUCH FOR BLOCKING.
WHAT'S THIS SUPPOSED TO BE?
I'll CHECK THE TOUR GUIDE.
SOME KIND OF DANCE, I THINK.
ED-D-D-D-Y
THIS ISN'T THE TIME FOR
BIRDCALLS, DOUBLE-D.
A CUP FOR BLOCKING.
DOUBLE-D THINKS HE'S A BIRD.
I HATE BIRDS.
K-K AND THAT WAS THE CALL OF
THE YELLOW-BELLIED BOYFRIEND.
HOW DID THEY GET IN MY HOUSE?
TIME FOR A CLOSE-UP,
HOLIDAY BOYFRIEND.
HA HA HA HA!
HE'S SO CUTE.
HOW ABOUT A LITTLE HULA-HULA?
THIS ISN'T HAPPENING!
[GRUNTING]
AAAAH!
HEY, MARIE, GET ME WITH EDDY.
HELLO?
MARIE, FILM ME!
FILM WHAT? YOU
JUST STANDING THERE?
Lee: I WAS GOING TO HANG EDDY
FROM A REAR-VIEW MIRROR LIKE A TROLL.
Marie: BIG WHOOP!
LEE! MARIE! QUIT YOUR FIGHTING!
WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING FUN!
HOLIDAYS, REMEMBER?
YOU'RE RIGHT, MAY.
YEAH, WE'RE FAMILY.
GROUP PHOTO!
HERE, DOUBLE-D. TAKE
IT AND MAKE IT GOOD.
OVER BY THE POOL, GIRLS!
HI, MOM!
GET AWAY FROM MY FISH TANK!
EDDY, PLEASE, I'M TRYING
TO GET A GOOD SHOT.
A GOOD SHOT?
DOUBLE-D, THAT'S SOMETHING
I'D EXPECT FROM ED!
THAT AGAIN IS SOMETHING
I REALLY WANTED TO DO.
ED, DO THIS: GE
RID OF MY FISH?
Ed: SHOULD I PU
THEM IN A PLASTIC BAG?
DID YOU SEE WHERE THEY WENT?
I WAS ENRAPTURED
WITH ED'S WHINING.
IS IT SO WRONG TO BE LIKED?
[CRASH]
GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
WHO'S GOING TO MAKE US?
HEY, ARE THESE REAL
LEOPARD SKIN UNDIES?
AAH!
THAT'S QUITE A STATEMENT, EDDY.
THEY'RE MY BROTHER'S.
WHAT?
SAYS "EDDY" ON THE TAG.
THAT'S IT! GET OUT OF MY ROOM!
I FEEL AS THOUGH WE
SHOULD HELP EDDY, ED.
YES, WE SHOULD.
[EDDY SCREAMING AND CRASHING]
GET HIM TO PUT THEM ON, MARIE.
I CAN'T! HE WON'T LET GO!
GIVE THEM UP, MARIE.
YOU DON'T HAVE A CHANCE.
HOW'S THIS?
HUBBA-HUBBA!
HI, EDDY!
BYE, EDDY!
EDDY, I FEAR THEY'RE
BECOMING AMOROUS!
WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
[WHISPERS]
AAH! LAST ONE
OUT'S A ROTTEN EGG!
[DOOR SLAMS] LATER, BOYS!
YOU'LL HAVE TO
COME HOME SOMETIME!
[CHAINSAW WHIRRING]
YAHOO!
THIS WATER PARK IDEA STINKS.
May: IT'S NOT MY FAUL
THE WATER PRESSURE'S LOW.
EVERYTHING'S YOUR FAULT, MAY.
THEY'RE WRECKING MY HOUSE!
AMATEURS, EDDY.
DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH.
WHY ARE YOU DORKS ON MY LAWN?
WE HEARD YOUR GRASS
WAS GREENER, SO
HEY, ED!
HERE'S OUR UNMENTIONABLES!
PRESS THEM, FOLD THEM, AND
DON'T SKIMP ON THE STARCH.
HELLO. [SNICKERS]
HAVING SOME GIRL
PROBLEMS, ARE WE?
WHAT? SO? THEY'RE ON HOLIDAY.
WHAT?
A ROMANTIC GETAWAY, HUH?
A KOOCHIE-KOOCHIE CRUISE?
I GUESS THESE DWEEBS WILL
BE HOLDING HANDS ALL SUMMER.
PRUNE-FACED JONNY,
DO YOU HEAR THIS?
DON'T TOUCH ME!
HMM?
HA HA HA HA HA!
COME ON, ROLF. I'M
GETTING A STITCH.
BYE-BYE!
HE'S RIGHT, EDDY.
THIS WEATHER ENSURES
THEM A LONG VACATION.
WEATHER, HUH?
SUMMER'S ABOUT TO
CALL IT A DAY, BOYS.
HEY, MARIE, CAN
YOU FLIP ME OVER?
I'M GETTING CRISPY.
MARIE, FLIP ME OVER!
I'M GETTING CRISPY!
MARIE!
SHUT UP, MAY.
DON'T YOU HEAR YOUR
SISTER TALKING TO YOU?
NOPE. MUST BE THIS
VACATION AIR, I GUESS.
OW!
HA HA HA! SUCKER!
GRRR! HA HA HA!
GET BACK HERE!
UH-OH.
IT'S RAINING!
RAIN?
UHH!
DOES MY HAIR LOOK OK?
SUMMER RAINS. YOU
CAN NEVER PREDICT THEM.
COMMENCE THUNDER, EDDY!
[WHAM WHAM]
IT'S A TYPHOON!
SO WHAT?
WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET A LITTLE
TYPHOON RUIN OUR VACATION, ARE WE?
AAH!
WHOA!
HANG ON, MAY!
WHOA!
I GOT THE DEBRIS, EDDY.
I WANTED TO DO THIS.
ALLEY-OOP!
I CAN'T SEE!
UHH!
MY EYES! THEY'RE BURNING!
WHOO-HOO! NICE AD LIB, ED!
NOW GET THEM OFF MY LAWN!
OKEY-DOKEY, SMOKEY!
THAT RHYMED.
I MUST SAY THIS
WORKED OUT QUITE WELL.
CHEERIO, KANKER SISTERIO!
NOW WHAT?
DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!
THINK ABOUT IT!
PLEASE, ED, NO MORE RHYMES.
WHOA! AAH!
HMM.
AAAHHHH!
LOOK, THERE'S THAT WEIRD KID.
YEAH, THAT'S THAT'S
I FORGET HIS NAME.
Lee: WHAT'S HE UP TO?
WHAT THE HECK'S HE DOING?
WHO CARES? HE'S A [STOMPING]
I'M COMING, PLANK!
[CRASHING AND SHOUTING]
RUN, PLANK!
May: GIVE ME BACK
MY BACK-SCRATCHER!
SCRATCH THIS!
WHOA!
FILTHY, FILTHY, FILTHY.
THAT'S SOMETHING I'D
EXPECT FROM DOUBLE-D, EDDY.
DON'T REMIND ME.
AHHH DO YOU HEAR SOMETHING?
OH, MAN.
WHAT'S A TRAILER
DOING ON MY TRAILER?
STAY OFF MY LAWN!
KEVIN! THERE'S A OH.
I GUESS YOU ALREADY KNOW.
NOW THIS IS WHA
I CALL A VACATION.
JUST LIKE THE CRUISE MOM TOOK.
I DON'T FEEL SO GOOD.
THEY'RE YOURS!
NO WAY! YOURS!
ED, HELP!
1 PLUS 1 EQUALS ONE ON A BUN.
ED!
SALAMI! BOLOGNA! AND
PUMPERNICKEL LOAF!
LISTEN UP, YOU SPIRITS
OF THE UNDERWOOD!
WHOO-HOO! LISTEN, PLANK!
I THINK WE HAVE
ANGERED THE SPIRITS.
AS IT IS A TRAVESTY TO
MIX SALAMI AND BOLOGNA
SHH!
[MOANING SOUND]
[TRUMPET FANFARE]
SOMEONE IS TRYING TO
MAKE CONTACT FROM
YOU KNOW THE DEAD!
REALLY? SPIRITS FROM THE DEAD?
SURE.
SHOW ME WHERE, EDDY!
LOOK! A PHENOMENON!
AAH!
THE SPIRIT'S A
LITTLE LOW ON CASH,
AND NEEDS BUS FARE TO JOIN US.
HUH?
YAH, YAH, YAH, YAH.
HERE YOU GO.
WHAT?
HMM CROSSTOWN, FULL FARE.
[SNICKER]
HA HA HA HA!
HOOK, LINE, AND STINKER.
LET'S WRAP THIS UP AND
BUY SOME JAWBREAKERS.
Edd: RIGHTO.
I SHALL NOW SUMMON THE GHOST!
RIKKI-TIKKI-STIKKI-WIKKI!
ENTER, OH SPIRI
OF THE UNDERWOOD!
[GRUNTING]
LOOKY!
THE SPIRIT HAS STOPPED.
A CURSE, I SAY!
SEEMS THE SPIRIT HAS A SNAG.
WHOA!
THE SPIRIT IS QUICK!
I DIDN'T SEE IT EITHER, PLANK.
WHAT THE
Jonny: THERE IT IS!
I'M READY TO BUS
WITH EXCITEMENT!
LOOK! IT IS SO REPULSIVE!
IT WANTS ROLF!
I AM A LITTLE TEAPOT,
SHORT AND STOUT!
THIS IS MY HANDLE,
THIS IS MY SPOUT!
Edd: HELP ME!
LOOK! MORE GHOSTS, PLANK!
Edd: STAY BACK! RETREAT!
SAVE ME FROM THIS SAVAGE BEAST!
DON'T YOU TOUCH ME!
AAH! [GROWL]
GIVE YOURSELF UP, ROLF!
IT'S YOU IT WANTS!
EDDY, YOU IDIOT!
IT'S JUST STUPID SARAH.
HELLO, BABY SISTER.
YOU COME WITH ME, MISTER!
AAH!
OW! WHAT DID I DO?
SARAH! COME BACK
HERE WITH MY GHOST!
SARAH'S INTERRUPTION
CONSTITUTED A REFUND, EDDY.
JONNY AND ROLF
WERE NOT IMPRESSED.
REFUND?
WHY DOES ED PUT UP WITH HER?
SARAH, HURRY!
I THINK IT'S CRAWLING
TOWARDS ME!
BUT IT WASN'T ME, SARAH!
I ALWAYS PUT THE SEAT DOWN!
THE CAVALRY HAS ARRIVED!
WHAT'S YOUR SOCK
DOING IN MY ROOM?
SLEEPING?
PICK IT UP, OR I'll TELL MOM!
DON'T TELL MOM, OK?
[CHUCKLES]
IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE I CAN DO?
DRESS MY DOLLIES!
OK. SOMETHING ELSE,
O LOVABLE SISTER
WHO SHARES THE SAME MOM AND DAD?
CLEAN OUT YOUR DISGUSTING
FREEZER EXPERIMENTS!
HOLY MACKEREL!
AND AFTER THAT, SE
UP OUR PICNIC OUTSIDE!
IS THAT ALL?
I'M JUST GETTING STARTED!
LET'S SEE NOW
IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS
I'M GLAD I'M AN ONLY CHILD.
THAT'S PATHETIC. ED
SHOULD TELL HER TO JUST
HIT THE ROAD, FLATHEAD!
ED HAS A LOT OF WORK TO DO.
BOY, I WOULDN'T WAN
TO BE IN HIS SHOES.
WHO WOULD? ED?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
DRESSING THE DOLLY.
LOOK AT THE PRETTY HAT, EDDY.
GET OVER IT!
IF SHE TOLD YOU
TO JUMP IN A LAKE
WITH A ROCK TIED TO YOUR HEAD
AND WAIT FOR NAKED
PHOTOS OF YOU TO DEVELOP
SO SHE CAN HAND THEM OUT TO
ALL THE KIDS IN THE CUL-DE-SAC,
WOULD YOU?
I HAD SOCKS ON, EDDY.
EDDY, FAMILY MATTERS
ARE BEST LEFT TO EXPERTS
WHO DEAL WITH
SITUATIONS LIKE AGH!
NICE SHOT, EDDY!
NOW IF YOU HAD YOUR OWN PLACE,
YOU WOULDN'T HAVE TO
TAKE ORDERS FROM ANYONE.
YOU'D BE YOUR OWN BOSS.
PRETTY COOL, HUH?
ED? ED?
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
[IMITATES ED] I LIKE IT, EDDY!
I HAVE ONE EYEBROW
AND THE BRAIN OF A BUG!
GOING OUT ON ONE'S OWN
REQUIRES PLANNING, EDDY.
THERE'S SO MUCH
WORK INVOLVED THAT
Ed: RELAX, DOUBLE-D.
I'll HELP HIM PACK.
YES, WELL, LET'S BE
SURE TO PACK HAND SOAP.
PUT SOME MUSCLE IN IT, BOYS!
[GRUNTS]
ED, DID YOU PACK ONLY
THE ESSENTIALS LIKE I ASKED?
TAG, YOU'RE IT!
GO, DOUBLE-D, GO!
AAH!
CURSE THESE SHORT LEGS!
WELL, THERE'S MY
EXERCISE FOR THE DAY.
WHOO! WELL, MR. ED,
WHERE DO YOU WAN
TO SET UP YOUR NEW PAD?
BUT, EDDY, WHA
ABOUT SARAH'S CHORES?
ALL TAKEN CARE OF, ED.
LOOK, PLANK!
WE GET TO GO TO A TEA PARTY!
THINK BIG, ED.
WHERE HAVE YOU
ALWAYS WANTED TO LIVE?
CLOSE TO A MAILBOX, EDDY.
I KNOW JUST THE PLACE.
Rolf: AWHOOOO!
[SNIFF]
HMM
THE SOIL HAS BEEN LEACHED.
HALF A FERMENTED SPORES
WILL CURE THIS PLAGUE.
[MOO]
FILTHY ANIMALS DO NO
BELONG IN ROLF'S SHED!
HIYA, ROLF! HIYA,
ROLF! HIYA, ROLF!
DO NOT TALK TO ROLF AS
THOUGH ALL IS FORGOTTEN,
FORTUNE-TELLER ED BOYS!
YOU HAVE BESMIRCHED
ROLF WITH YOUR SCRAM!
UM, I THINK YOU MEAN SCAM.
ONE TWO WHERE
IS THE BRAINY ED BOY?
HMM?
PRESENT.
YOU GOT TO HELP US, ROLF.
Edd: YOU SEE, ROLF, ED
HAS MOVED OUT OF HIS HOME.
IN ORDER TO LEAD A
MORE INDEPENDENT LIFE,
AND TO GET AWAY FROM
SARAH WOULDN'T WE ALL?
AND WELL, HERE WE ARE!
THIS IS A BRAVE THING YOU DO,
LONG-IN-THE-NECK ED BOY.
WELCOME TO THE HOME OF ROLF.
PLEASE MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME,
AS ROLF COULD NOT SLEEP AT NIGH
KNOWING DIMWIT ED BOYS
OUT FREE IN THE STREETS.
ROLF SURE IS AN UPRIGHT FELLOW.
WHAT A FEEB!
SHALL WE UNPACK?
Eddy: DON'T BREAK
A NAIL, DOUBLE-D.
Ed: WHOA! YEAH!
AAH!
Ed: I LOVE CANOES.
WHEW!
IT LOOKS JUST LIKE
YOUR OLD ROOM, ED.
YEAH. HOME SWEET HOME.
MY PLACE IS THE
CAT'S TUXEDO, GUYS.
RIGHT, POOCHIE?
[MOO]
HMM? WILFRID! VICTOR!
NEED I REMIND YOU, YOU
ARE FORBIDDEN TO EA
IN ROLF'S VEGETABLE PATCH?
HI, NEIGHBOR!
AAH! WHY ARE YOU IN THE
TROUGH OF FOOD SPOILS?
I'M HOT-TUBBING!
DO NOT FRAZZLE ROLF!
PLEASE DO NOT CONTAMINATE
THE FOOD, AS PIGS EAT FROM IT!
[GRUNTS]
MAY SHOWER SCUM
DEVOUR YOUR HEAD!
ED BOY?
WHAT'S UP, STRETCH?
DO YOU LIKE BEING A GUES
AT THE HOUSE OF ROLF,
AND YOU KNOW, MAKE
LAZY ON ROLF'S STUMP?
WHAT, ARE YOU
KIDDING? IT'S GREAT.
I'M A COWBOY! BANG BANG!
A BURDEN HAS BEEN
PLACED ON ROLF.
Edd: YEAH!
EGGCEPTIONAL!
EGGSHELLS CAN HOLD MANY
TIMES ITS OWN WEIGHT WITHOUT
Ed: DOUBLE-D!
AM I GOOD OR WHAT?
MAY YOUR NOSE FESTER
WITH THE RAGE OF OLIVES!
I'M SORRY, ROLF.
[BAAS]
EGGS, EGGS, EGGS, EGGS.
HEY, ROLF
A HYPOTHESIS!
AAH!
DOCUMENTED AND PROVEN.
NOT A SCRATCH.
MY PATIENCE IS WEARING
THIN, LIKE MAMA'S HEAD OF HAIR!
Ed: THIS IS FUN!
YOU HAVE THE USE OF ROLF'S
SHED, AND NOTHING MORE!
[ROLF GRUNTING]
TIME TO WASH AND FILL
ROLF'S EMPTY BELLY.
[GOBBLING]
SHH! SHH!
[GROAN]
OH THE MOON RESEMBLES
HALF-EATEN CHEESE.
[YAWNS]
[SNORING]
[SNORING]
ED BOYS TRY ME AT EVERY TURN!
TURN OUT THAT LIGHT!
YES! SORRY, ED BOY.
OH [SNORING STOPS]
AH, THE BEAST HAS STOPPED.
NIGHTY-NIGHT, ROLF.
[ALARM BEEPING]
SMOKE? WHAT?
YOU HAVEN'T LIVED TILL YOU'VE
TRIED ONE OF MY OMELETS.
GOOD MORNING, ROLF.
FRESH FRUIT AND THE MORNING
PAPER TO START YOUR DAY?
Ed: HEY, NEIGHBOR!
YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO
HAVE ANY PAPER I CAN BORROW?
OH, CAN I BORROW THIS SINK?
Eddy: I NEED KETCHUP
FOR MY EGGS, ROLFIE BOY.
Ed: ANYONE GOT A BREATH MINT?
THE BURDEN OF HOSPITALITY
IS TOO GREAT FOR ROLF!
1, 2, 3!
LET'S DO IT AGAIN!
HA HA HA HA!
WHOA!
HUH?
HAVING FUN WITH
MY SHED, ED BOYS?
IS ALL WELL, ROLF?
WIPE YOUR FEET, PLEASE.
YOU HAVE BROKEN THE CELERY
STALK ON THE BACK OF A SEA URCHIN!
WHAT DID HE SAY?
[POW]
THE YEAST HAS RISEN
AND SHOWS ME THE FUTURE
OF THE COUCH CREATURE ED BOYS.
DO YOU HEAR IT? THE
SPIRIT OF THE RIND SPEAKS.
WHAT DOES IT SAY?
YEAH, TELL US, O SWAMI.
AH. IT SAYS THAT YOUR
DAY WILL BEGIN BY
CLEANING MY PIGPEN!
HERE, PIGGY, PIGGY, PIGGY!
SOOEY! PIGGY!
ALSO YOUR FUTURE WILL HOLD
THAT YOU DE-LICE THE CHICKENS,
AND SHAKE THE DEW FROM THE TREE,
AND BRUSH THE HAIR
ON THE BACK OF ROLF!
Edd: GLOVES! I NEED GLOVES!
Ed: PUMPKINS SURE ARE BOSSY.
Eddy: SHUT UP, ED.
ED, EDD, N' EDDY!
YEAH!