Farscape s02e06 Episode Script

There's no rush.
Browse all you like.
Do you like that? I don't care much for room decorations.
I, uh I prefer to decorate myself.
Mmm, like this, for instance.
Synthetic kamin stone.
Worthless.
Synthetic? -Mm-hmm.
If you like it, what difference does it make? If it's not worth anything, I don't like it.
Oh, so young and yet so mercenary.
That portrait is one of me own works.
Resembles you, don't you think? Not really.
Ah.
Look at this.
Hynerian royal tiara from the Neltoth era.
Authentic Neltoth? Nonsense.
It's a cheap copy.
And I should know.
I gave them to all my wives.
If you don't want it, Rygel, put it back and we can all get out of here.
What's your rush? Is there anything remotely exciting happening back on Moya? Aeryn: Minding you two on a shopping expedition is even less exciting.
Nobody asked you to come.
You should have that tiara, as a keepsake of your home world.
A fake keepsake? (laughing) I'll give you a single food cube for it, and that's generous.
Done.
We're low on food cubes and you gave one away for that? It's a good enough copy to fool the next trader we run across.
Fine.
Can we go? Yes, now that I'm finished.
Wonderful.
Chiana? Are you done? Guess so.
Don't go empty-handed.
I want to give you this.
Now, that's a better image, don't you think? You just work on that? I didn't see you do it.
Hey.
That's my favorite necklace.
I lost that half a cycle ago.
Now you can enjoy that once more.
What, you're you're just giving it to me? Well, you haven't been given much in your life, have you, hmm? Take it.
Perhaps it'll help you get a better understanding of the true value of art.
Which is what? Well, in this case, it's a window on time.
This defense screen is pretty much fried.
I'm not even sure if it's worth fixing.
There's no harm in trying.
You were saying? Just watch what you're doing.
Pilot, I thought the juice was supposed to be turned off down here.
It is, but Moya's been experiencing a number of minor power anomalies.
I'm trying to isolate them.
Then keep trying, and get us some more DRDs.
I have no more to spare.
What about the ones working on Aeryn's Prowler? Aren't they just doing routine maintenance? Scheduled maintenance, which is overdue.
She would not be pleased to postpone it further.
Give us four of them.
Aeryn doesn't have to know.
She's just returned.
Hey! Hey! Is that mine? I've been looking for that forever.
Where'd you find it? (electronic squeaking) And how did she know you'd you'd find it? (screaming) My name is John Crichton, an astronaut.
A radiation wave hit and I got shot through a wormhole.
Now I'm lost in some distant part of the universe on a ship, a living ship, full of strange alien life-forms.
Help me.
Listen, please.
Is there anybody out there who can hear me? I'm being hunted by an insane military commander.
I'm doing everything I can.
I'm just looking for a way home.
Well, first, it didn't even look like me at all.
Then it showed me with a necklace and then it showed me with a broken leg.
Okay? You know what I think? I I think it can predict the future.
My Aunt Ruth can do that, except she uses tea leaves.
Oh, okay.
Then how do you explain this? And this? Have you eaten, drunk, smoked, sniffed anything weird lately? No.
Have you? Not lately.
Look, ask Aeryn and Rygel.
They saw it when it showed me the necklace.
They saw it change, too? No, but that doesn't mean Could Aeryn and Rygel have switched it for another, or tampered with it somehow? -No, no, no.
So, you think one of them's messing with Chi? I'm only exploring possibilities.
Aeryn's not exactly the joking type, and Rygel, I can see him pulling her leg but not exactly breaking it.
You said you tripped over a DRD that found your necklace.
Yeah.
Pilot, is anything weird going on with the DRDs? No.
All DRDs are functioning normally and performing as I ordered.
Pilot, did you assign a DRD to look for Chiana's lost necklace? Yes.
Some time ago, at her request.
Well, there we have it.
Coincidence, bad luck, maybe a bit of power of suggestion thrown in.
Yeah, yeah, except it did change.
Well, I don't know what to tell you.
Zhaan: I'd like to run some tests on that portrait, if you don't mind.
Yeah, I do mind.
What if you screw it up somehow? I'm not going to harm it.
No, sorry.
It's staying here.
I mean, I want to see I want to see what it's going to show me next.
Zhaan, how about if you take, like a tiny little chip off someplace where it doesn't show? That work for you? Better than nothing.
But it's mine.
I don't see why I should let her Pip! She just fixed your damn leg.
A very little piece.
(sniffing) Ohh! Definitely it.
I never forget an aroma.
(sizzling) What? Genuine? Not possible.
No Oh! I'm surprised your using my possessions without my consent, Rygel, especially after what I did to you the last time.
Let go! I'll replace what I've used.
I'll buy you an entire vat of Pelvoth oil! This tiara is authentic! (chuckling) I thought you said it was a copy.
Well, it's not.
And that fool Kyvan sold it for a single food cube.
Ha! Silly old woman had no idea what she had.
(speaker device beeps) Pilot, reverse course.
Huh? -Find that trader woman's ship.
Ignore him, Pilot.
Moya has better things to do than search for Kyvan's vessel.
Agreed.
What the yotz are you talking about?! We have a chance to turn a tidy profit here.
Have you any idea what this is worth? We are not returning to that ship, Rygel.
Now get out! I'll take this up with the others.
Please do.
Isn’t this something? Wonder what it'll show me next? Suppose it's not just predicting events but actually causing them? It brought me back my necklace, and then it turned around and broke my leg.
Why would it do that? I don't know.
Well, then why not just believe it's what the old woman says it is? A window into time? Assuming all that is true, do you really want to know what the future holds? Of course I do.
Come on, D'Argo, don't you want to know if you're ever going to find your son? No.
If it's bad news, then, uh, I don't want to lose all hope.
Well, it might keep you from spending your whole life searching for something that's never going to happen.
If I don't try, it will definitely never happen.
Now, I want you to get rid of that.
I think you're just being a superstitious Luxan.
I am being a concerned Luxan.
Oh.
Aren't you sweet.
What, you really care about what happens to me? Shouldn't I? Of course you should.
I'm glad you do.
Wonder if the portrait will show both of us next? Give us a glimpse of our future.
I'm not sure I want to know about that, either.
Why, 'cause of what it might not show? Or what it might? Listen to me I do care about you.
That's why I want you to start being sensible and get rid of that.
Oh, okay, so I'm not being sensible now? Well, I'm so sorry to disappoint you, but I'm keeping it.
I need to rest now.
Alone.
Even if the object did change, it's still just a trick.
I've seen con artists on many planets pull off bigger frauds than that.
Yeah, well, she got it for free, so it's not much of a score if it's a con.
Chiana insulted Kyvan's artwork.
Maybe Kyvan wanted revenge or something.
So what, you think that she rigged the paintings so that Chiana would be spooked into breaking her leg? That's a bit of a stretch.
What's your theory? That it can predict the future? No.
I don't have a theory, just a hypothesis.
We should've steered clear of Kyvan's ship.
And as usual, we have Rygel and Chiana to thank for that.
There isn't a single flying junk dealer in the Uncharted Territories that they'd pass up.
Well, you know what I say.
I say, we lock all of Moya's doors, we don't let anybody in, we don't let anybody out.
That way we get no alien critters, no shape-shifting bugs, no (sniffing) mind-altering viruses, no freaky-deaky artifacts.
If I had my way, I'd throw Rygel off the ship.
Chiana, too, maybe.
Huh? Rygel I can sort of understand, but Chiana? She's gets us into nearly as much trouble as Rygel does.
Yeah, but she means well.
Sometimes.
That's not the point.
Then what is the point? You know, even Rygel has his moments once in a while.
Once in a great while.
On balance, we'd probably be better off without them.
Oh, yeah? Well, what about Zhaan? Want to throw her off the ship? Possibly.
D'Argo? Me? Pilot.
Let's get rid of Pilot.
That'd be good, then you can have the whole ship to yourself.
Hmm, is that an offer? Well let's start with this room and see how it goes.
(whispering voices) Crichton: Zhaan.
(glass shatters) Whoa, hang on.
Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you.
Is everything okay? No, it isn't.
No.
Well, you want to tell me? How can I tell you what I don't know? Every test I try finds nothing unusual in the material of Chiana's portrait.
So, if that junk dealer's faking us out with a magic trick, you can't figure out how.
Look, don't worry about it, okay? The painting probably never changed.
Chiana was hallucinating.
It's all in her mind.
No, John.
Believe me, this is not in Chiana's mind.
She's in danger.
From what? Zhaan, tell me.
I can't tell you yet.
All I have are suspicions.
But if I'm right John soon there may come a time when I need you, and everyone, to do exactly as I say, quickly and without question.
Do you have enough faith in me to obey? Okay, Zhaan.
Whatever you're doing, taking a flyer, playing a hunch, I'm in.
I can't speak for the others, but when the time comes for you to make your move, I'll back you up.
Thank you, John.
I want you to bring me Chiana's portrait.
Yeah, it'll look nice in here.
I don't want to look at it.
I want to destroy it.
One portrait coming up.
Crichton, I've decided we must take that painting away from Chiana.
It's no good for her.
Zhaan's way ahead of you there.
Whatever it is, it's got her good (Chiana screams) freaked.
D'Argo! Help! What happened?! It changed! When did it change? Just now.
I looked away for no more than a microt.
Where are you going?! I'm getting out of here! Let go! Help me! Please take me somewhere safe! I will.
I will.
You deal with that.
Yeah, no problem.
But Zhaan wants to do the honors.
What is going on? I heard screaming.
I'm going to die, Aeryn.
The portrait told me.
-Told you what? It changed again.
This time it shows her on fire.
This is a load of dren.
It's real! I'm burning up! Chiana, you're fine.
You don't even feel hot.
I'm burning up! Zhaan, it happened again.
Chiana said it happened in the blink of an eye.
Where is she? She's in the Cargo Bay with D'Argo and Aeryn.
Go.
I'll see what I can do here.
Right.
Put me in there! I'm going.
In the freezer, Chiana? Chiana, listen to me.
It's all in your head.
Leave her alone.
Are you completely out of your mind? If she doesn't freeze to death in there, she will suffocate.
Pilot, how long can Chiana last in there? Indefinitely, if I raise the temperature and maintain airflow.
Do it.
Don't tell me you're going along with this nonsense too.
I don't see any danger in playing it safe.
If you cater to her fears, you'll make them worse.
(whispering voices) (whimpering) John.
What the hell? Pilot, what's going on in there? I don't know.
Nothing should be combustible.
Pilot, this door is jammed.
Open it! The door controls aren't responding.
(screaming) Stand back.
Stand back! (screaming) Chiana! The door lock's responding now.
I think I can open it.
(sizzling) Pilot: Crichton? Is Chiana She's gone, Pilot.
(sighs) (Zhaan chanting in Delvian) It's true then? Chiana's death? It's true, Rygel.
She died that way? Yes.
Then why couldn't you save her? You had warning.
You could have done something.
At least we tried, which is more than I can say for you.
Where were you when she died? Sleeping? Eating? Had anyone seen fit to inform me I Get out.
I should have gone down to the ship with them.
I should have stopped her from bringing it back.
No, I should have taken it away from her earlier.
There are a number of things we all should have done.
And we can do one of them right now.
Zhaan, how do we dispose of this piece of junk? Fire would be a fitting end.
(chanting in Delvian) There was no reason for it.
There has to be.
What about a defective power doubler in the freezer? All its components check out fine.
All right.
Well, you said that Moya had some energy surges and other anomalies it couldn't isolate.
Maybe this is related to it.
There was nothing wrong with the freezer.
Why couldn't you get the door open in time then? Chiana must have jammed it when she closed it.
All right.
Could she have damaged the conduit when she pulled it shut? I've told you.
No malfunction of Moya's caused that fire, nor was it an error of control on my part.
All right.
I'm not blaming you, Pilot, but something had to cause it Aeryn, knock it off.
It's not your fault.
Who said it was? Well, you're grilling Pilot, looking for a reason.
You're not the reason.
No, I'm not.
Why would I be? You wanted her off the ship.
I never said I wanted her dead, Crichton.
Fine.
Now, are you always going to do this? Do what? Keep the entire world at a distance! Keep everybody away? Is that ever going to change? D'Argo: Crichton.
Yes, D'Argo.
Come to the Center Chamber.
We have a problem.
Pilot? No idea.
Crichton: What's the problem? This is.
Another one.
It can't be the same one.
We burned it up.
Khalaan help us.
Looks like you, D'Argo.
Yes, it does.
It appears unfinished.
Still in flux.
I vote we don't wait around for it to develop.
I agree.
It repaired itself once, it may do so again.
Then it shall do so in space.
Pilot, where's the nearest access shaft? I want this thing as far away from Moya as I can.
Tier Three, Hamman side.
Zhaan, you cool with that? Yes.
Get rid of it.
I'll go and find that trader and get some answers.
Pilot, is my Prowler ready? No, it's still undergoing maintenance.
Take my module.
Bucket of dren.
(glass shattering) Go for it, Pilot.
Expelling now.
I am tracking the fragments.
We are moving away from them at Hetch Six velocity.
Works for me.
I don't know art but I know what I don't like.
Zhaan: You're certain it's gone? Crichton: Far behind us and off the radar.
Once Aeryn returns, we should do a Starburst or two to make sure.
Yeah, the more distance between us and that thing the better.
(whispering voices) What's the matter? I thought I heard something.
(whispering voices) Pa'u Zhaan.
(whispering voices) Pa'u Zhaan Pa'u Zhaan Zhaan? Pa'u Zhaan.
Pa'u Zhaan.
Pa'u Zhaan.
Pa'u Zhaan Pa'u Zhaan Pa'u Zhaan Pa'u Zhaan (engines whooshing) (gasps) (yells) Don't shoot! It's me! Reason enough to pull the trigger.
What are you doing here? Don't you think I have a score to settle with this Kyvan, just as you do? Score to settle or a profit to make? Can't I accomplish both at once? Chiana was given a dangerous product.
Kyvan, therefore, owes us restitution.
Chiana's dead, and all you're concerned about is getting compensation.
Punitive damages.
That's what Chiana would have wanted.
She was quite a lot like me, you know? She had spirit, ambition.
Ha, large appetites.
She would have made an excellent Hynerian.
I'm actually going to miss her.
One way or another, Kyvan will make restitution.
(switches clicking) Zhaan: D'Argo By the goddess, no! What do we have to do to ditch this thing? Drop it in a black hole? John, we've lost.
If this is my fate, I'll accept it.
No, we're not accepting anything.
We fight this.
We can't keep fighting.
Zhaan -It's stronger than all of us.
Zhaan! All right, kids, time to think.
First off, what the hell is that supposed to be? It signifies a Qualta Blade.
Crichton: Zhaan, take this, lock it away in the farthest tier you can find.
Next, we get you into a big, open space, as far away from any pointy objects as possible.
John you've been a good friend.
Whatever happens it's been a pleasure to know you.
D'Argo shut up! Have you never heard of a self-fulfilling prophecy? No! (screams) (D'Argo shouting) Chiana: Anybody? Please? (echoing): Chiana! (echoing): D'Argo? D'Argo! (laughing) You're alive.
I am? Where are we? Uh I, uh I think I think we're in the portrait.
(angry shout) It punched right through him, and then he disappeared.
No blood, no guts, no nothing.
Where'd he go? We got to get him back.
He could not just vanish, Zhaan.
John.
He may not even be dead.
Either way, we got to know.
What? Great.
I'm next.
Batter up.
This is great, Zhaan.
This thing is picking us off like flies and nobody even knows what it is.
Zhaan, I'm ready.
Just give me your plan, please? Come on, Zhaan.
This magical mystery crap is your speciality, not mine.
You just tell me what to do and I'll do it! There is nothing I can tell you.
Kyvan: Ah, welcome back! Now, what can I interest you in this time? Only interested in one thing and that's the thing you gave Chiana.
Oh well, I hope she's enjoying that portrait.
Don't frell around with me.
You know exactly what happens, don't you? It's a very bad idea to annoy her when she's in this sort of mood.
See what I mean? If I were you, I'd tell her everything.
But I don't know anything.
That's unfortunate for you, isn't it? Because if you had something to tell me I'd have a reason not to shoot you but since you're not telling me anything Ahh! I had no choice! I was forced to create that portrait! By whom? Wh he made me do it.
Who? Who? Who? -I didn't want to! He threatened me! -Who? Maldis.
Maldis.
Aeryn: That's what she said.
It can't be Maldis.
We destroyed him.
We only dispersed him.
I knew he'd coalesce again someday.
I never dreamt it would be this soon.
Okay, Zhaan, so what do we do? Zhaan, what do we? Are you hearing me, Zhaan? Crichton, what's the matter? Zhaan just bugged out on us.
Praying or catatonic, I don't know.
I'll leave straightaway.
No, no, don't do that.
Stay there, we need all the information we can get.
Right.
So start talking.
Nothing that I can tell you will do any good.
Maldis is too powerful.
Start talking.
Zhaan Zhaan! Stop bugging out! We beat Maldis before.
We can do it again.
Don't go chicken on me here.
John, I speak to you via the bond of Unity we shared.
Now is the time to trust me.
I have a plan.
You must focus Maldis's attention on you for as long as possible.
Ignore what I say next.
(both gasping) Maldis cannot be defeated.
He's already taken Chiana and D'Argo.
He's going to take you next, then the rest of us, one by one.
Zhaan, we can beat him.
No, we can't.
All we can do is surrender, shorten our pain.
Well, I'm not giving up.
I am.
(whispering voices) Pa'u Zhaan Pa'u Zhaan.
Pa'u Zhaan.
Pa'u Zhaan.
(eerie laughter) (grunts) Oh, that first step.
D'Argo: John.
D'Argo! No, wait, don't come through! Wh what the hell? (echoing): D'Argo? Where the hell did you go? I haven't moved.
It's these archways.
They lead elsewhere.
You seen Chiana? Yes, but I couldn't get to her.
I tried other archways, but I lost her entirely.
Great.
It's not just a painting, it's a maze.
(dry chuckle) Terrific.
And I know who built it.
Maldis! Come on down! Maldis? None other than.
Doesn't that just make your day? Maldis? Maldis? Come on, you old bastard.
Show me your ugly face! Haven't you read the supervillain's handbook? This is where you're supposed to twirl your mustache and gloat.
I don't have a mustache, John.
How you doing, old man? You're looking kind of pale.
You getting enough sun? Irreverent as ever.
I missed that.
Yeah, it's been a while, huh? Tell me, what you been doing all this time? Putting yourself back together? And what's it like being dispersed? Less than pleasant.
I sustained myself by concentrating on revenge.
Well, here I am, dude.
Revenge away.
Please.
You're not even a player.
I'm saving my revenge for one who deserves it.
Pa'u Zhaan.
Oh, I'm crushed.
And here I was thinking we both kicked your ass last time.
No, she kicked my ass, and saved yours.
As you say, this magical mystery crap's not your thing.
Why do you think that I took you and your two friends first? Because you were lonely.
Because I wanted Zhaan to see her shipmates die.
Maldis (echoing): Pa'u Zhaan! Pa'u Zhaan! No! Pa'u Zhaan! Pa'u Zhaan! No! Pa'u Zhaan! No! Pa'u Zhaan! (echoing louder): Pa'u Zhaan! No! No! No! Have you forgotten? Fear makes me stronger.
Fear and the terror of helplessness.
These are a few of my favorite things.
Oh.
Could you do that "farewell, good-bye" song the kids sing? It's one of my favorites.
(echoing): I don't do requests! You're convinced that Zhaan will pull some Delvian fast one and save the day.
Johnny-O Your mind, to me, is an open book, full of big print and lots of pictures.
Then read this.
Kiss I'm betting on her, not you.
Bad bet.
Do you understand, Pilot? Frankly, no.
But I will do exactly as you've asked.
I wish you luck, for all our sakes.
(eerie whispering): Pa'u Zhaan Zhaan What is it? It's Maldis.
Can't you hear him? I don't hear anything.
Johnny! Last bout she had help.
Cost the poor fellow his life, didn't it? This time, she's alone.
You might not be afraid, but she is.
And that's why I'll destroy her.
Excuse me, while I remind her how much I care.
Pa'u Zhaan! Zhaan! (shouting) So much for that plan! Any more bets? I failed.
Too weak.
Zhaan, don't give up.
You never give up.
Maldis: What a wreck! She begged me to put her out of her misery.
Unfortunately, I want to enjoy her misery a little longer.
But there's no reason why she should suffer on her own.
Chiana: D'Argo? Where are you? Chiana.
You're here? Oh, frell.
Who's the ugly old man? Crichton: Name is Maldis.
He's your basic evil vampire.
He sucks the life force out of people.
He just plain sucks.
Listen up, everybody.
This joker feeds on fear so we're going to stay calm.
Zhaan's not listening to you, John.
Zhaan, we keep our cool, we starve him out.
Bravado to the end.
I have to admire that.
even though, deep down, of course you are quaking in your boots.
Dream on.
Stop.
You want fear? I'll give you some.
Picture if you will, me standing on your home planet.
Six billion creatures like you? Heavy breeders.
Your species would've kept me well fed for a long time.
You stay the hell away from Earth.
You see? Everyone has a panic button just waiting to be pushed.
Even the Luxan.
Your son, Jothee.
How old is he? I can't wait to run across him.
(roaring) Didn't you tell him, John, that that sort of thing doesn't work? And the runaway Nebari.
How would you like a free trip home to your planet? You wouldn't? Ah, scared that you'd be mentally cleansed by your countrymen? Well, don't worry (echoing): because none of you will leave this place! Chiana: You don't scare me.
You're all mouth.
Bigger the talk, smaller the action.
Little girl, I'll show you action and this is it.
I leave, you don't.
This realm dissolves and you with it, except of course for your essence, your life force, your spirit, whatever you like to call it.
(echoing): I call it lunch.
Time for choir practice, priest? Maldis, please! I beg you! (Zhaan screaming) Oh, you beg me.
I like that.
Maldis! D'Argo, don't.
You'll just make it worse.
When all the atoms in your body are ripped apart, and I consume what's left, then you'll know what pain is.
And all this will happen in (moaning) If you like countdowns.
Officer Sun, priority message from Zhaan.
What is it, Pilot? Kill Kyvan and get out of there fast.
Acknowledged.
(Rygel yelling) Out.
Now.
(yelling) How did you know all that would happen? I didn't.
And you shot Kyvan anyway? Crichton said I should follow Zhaan's instructions without question.
Did he? Well, he didn't bother to tell me.
Of course not.
When have you ever followed instructions? Was that your doing? Well, it won't help you, because I'm much stronger than you think.
So am I.
(Maldis screaming) Go! Hurry! Hurry! Chiana! Crichton: Get up! Leave me.
-Come on.
(yelling) (grunting) Leave me here.
Get up.
No, leave me here.
No! (grunting) (grunting) Home sweet home.
Fire one! (yelling) Great.
Fire two! (yelling) That was your plan? Yes.
Like it? Well, what's not to like? (audible exhale) Explain this to me, Froggy.
Crichton comes back, he's not really electrocuted.
Okay, D'Argo comes back, not a scratch on him.
I come back, nothing burnt, but I still got a busted leg.
Why is that? -Why ask me? I'm still trying to figure out the whole Maldis and Kyvan thing.
Oh, no, no, look.
Zhaan laid that bit out for me.
Okay, when Maldis re-corporealized Re-what? Well, put himself back together, he couldn't yet break through to our physical plane, so he had to manipulate matter to form Kyvan and her ship, and create the painting, which would not only bridge both realms, but also play on our fears which would allow him to capture us and grow even stronger.
Clear? Then, when Aeryn blasted Kyvan, which was actually just a temporary extension of Maldis, it weakened Maldis enough for Zhaan to make her move.
Simple.
But, why? I mean, how did Zhaan (rueful chuckle) Best not ponder questions like these.
They'll only make your head hurt.
Forget about it.
Sit back and enjoy the happy ending.
What happy ending? My priceless Hynerian tiara is gone.
Vanished just like Kyvan and her ship.
Oh.
Well, we can't have everything, Ryg.
I can't have anything.
(laughing) Oh! (laughing) Crichton: So, what do you think, Zhaan? Is that son of a bitch gone for good this time? With a being like Maldis, we can never be entirely certain.
Zhaan, this would have been a really good opportunity to lie to me.
You know? Sure, John.
He's toast.
Strike him off your Christmas list.
Stick a fork in him.
He's done.
He's over.
The fat lady is singing.
It does not have to be true, Zhaan.
But I certainly would have slept better.
I'm sorry, John, I'm not a very good liar.
Yeah, right.
(sarcastic chuckle) Now, I know you couldn't tell me the truth about your ah, plan.
Maldis would have picked it out of my brain.
But you had us all fooled with that scared Nellie routine.
My fear wasn't an act, John.
You were really that scared? I've never been more scared in my life.