Feud (2017) s02e06 Episode Script
Hats, Gloves and Effete Homosexuals
1
I'm late, I'm late, I know.
My poor Dutch Master daffodils
were positively shivering in this cold.
I had to get them all in
before the deep freeze.
There's still one shivering
daffodil who needs you.
I'm sorry, my little flower.
Thank you for running
this errand with me.
I need durable straw hats for gardening.
Terry is the only one I trust.
[TERRY] Not today.
You'll have to come back
for the closeout sale.
[TRUMAN] Terry.
Oh, Mrs. Guest, Mr. Capote.
What closeout sale?
Terry, no. Galore is an institution,
- and you've been here forever.
- 44 years.
Nobody wants hats anymore, I'm afraid.
The end of an era.
I was planning to retire,
but I didn't think
it would be like this.
Where am I going to get
my good gardening hats now?
Well, how many have you got left, Terry?
Doesn't matter, I'll take them all.
I'll get some for Bunny Mellon as well.
Oh, she's gonna be just sick.
[TERRY] I'll go see
what we have in the back.
C.Z., do you remember that
Easter a few years ago?
You, me, Slim, Lee and
Babe had Good Friday lunch
at La Cote and we got so tipsy
we thought we'd be brash and brassy
and buy outlandish Easter bonnets.
And Babe found that
towering floral thing
with ribbons flowing down her back.
And it had faux lilies
like whipped cream.
She looked like a
dessert. I told her so.
[LAUGHS] I've never
seen Babe laugh so hard.
[CHUCKLES]
How is she?
Um
She's good. She's getting the best care.
It hasn't spread to
any other organs, so
Hmm. A heart so cold, even
cancer couldn't touch it.
Truman, don't.
Oh, I'm gonna miss hats.
In the South, everyone wore them.
Rich folk, poor folk, white, colored.
A hat was a symbol of hope.
My mother had a marvelous collection.
She used to let me keep the boxes.
The tissue paper, the smells.
- I've got ten left, Mrs. Guest.
- Ooh.
I-I can't do delivery anymore.
Oh, no matter. I'll send Luis around.
Should I?
- [LAUGHS]
- Let's swing by Tiffany's.
Kate's in her final year of school,
and I want to surprise her
with a string of pearls.
The real thing for the real thing.
That's what I'm going
to write on the card.
So, how's it going with your protégé?
Oh, my God, she's the Second Coming.
And she was born to model.
I'm going to turn her
into the next Veruschka.
Veruschka? She's ancient.
All the girls want to be
like Christie Brinkley now.
No, but Kate's not like that.
That Colgate smile, vulgar tan nonsense.
She's a classic beauty.
She's beautiful because she's young.
Everybody who's young is beautiful.
I only wish someone had told
me that when I was that age.
- Oh, everybody told you.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
Mm, it's good,
but don't you think you
could go a tad higher?
You know, Dusty Springfield
used to tuck a maxi pad under
there to give it more oomph.
Where's your pocketbook, Kate?
I'll see if you've got one.
No, Truman.
What's got your bonnet in a bunch?
This is your big day.
Girls would be tripping over themselves
to get a photo shoot with Dick Avedon.
- Sorry.
- Hmm.
I am grateful.
It's just
[LAUGHS] Well, I mean,
it's a little matronly.
[LAUGHS]
Why don't you leave the
styling to the stylists?
[LAUGHS]
Back when I threw my Black
and White Ball in 1966,
Mr. Kenneth's salon was
hotter than Studio 54.
Thought you were gonna stop drinking.
Champagne isn't drinking.
It's good for the stomach.
Like a digestif.
Don't you pull your
sourpuss with me, dear.
Dick is going to fawn
over you, and so will
all the magazine editors I'm
going to hook you up with.
Grace Mirabella at Vogue,
she's a dear friend.
By this time next year,
you'll be on the cover.
Now, Kenneth, how are we getting along?
- We mustn't be late for lunch.
- Yes.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[MUTTERS SOFTLY]
♪
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
- Babe.
- Babe.
♪
♪
♪
♪
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Welcome to La Cote Basque.
- Thank you.
Right this way, please.
[TRUMAN] See?
Not a soul here can
take their eyes off you.
- [KERRY] Yes, I am aware of that.
- Well, what's the matter?
You're as stiff as a B movie robot.
How many B movie robots
went around disguised
like 50-year-old society ladies?
[LAUGHS]
You just need some
snails and some oysters
to loosen you up, darling.
Now hold your head
high and stop frowning.
You'll get lines like
the Mariana Trench.
The what?
"'O Oysters, come and walk with me!'
The Walrus did beseech.
'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach.
We cannot do with more than four,
- To give a hand to each.'"
- [LAUGHS]
Mmm.
- Lewis Carroll, my dear.
- Mm.
- Bravo.
- [LAUGHS]
How do you remember all these poems?
I listen.
Now, I have listened to your
complaints about my dragging you
- to too many lunches with my friends.
- Oh, good.
And I have come up with the
perfect solution, dear Kate.
Eavesdropping.
Eavesdropping?
If you want to be a writer, or
any person of note, actually,
you must realize the importance
of that which is overheard
the next table over.
Great title, by the
way. It's yours, darling.
It's where all the action
is if your table is dull.
And you may well be at a dull
table in life, I do sympathize.
But you master the art of listening
to who's right over there.
You really, actually don't believe
in privacy at all, do you, Truman?
Come on, Truman. Don't
be a stick in the mud.
Nobody's more fun than me.
Princess Margaret. Maybe.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I got you that.
Oh. You.
Let's have some île
flottante for dessert.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SLIM] He's starting
to sink into himself.
The cost of it, all his
betraying and nastiness.
Look at him.
It catches up.
You earn the face you deserve.
That's his new protégé,
that horrible man John's poor daughter.
- He's trying to mold her.
- Hmm.
He changed her last
name to erase her dad.
Erase. I'd like to warn her.
[SLIM] Well, he's got her dressed like
she's at a flower show in Minneapolis.
[LEE] Remember what happened
with Eliza Doolittle?
She dumped Henry Higgins.
I think My Fair Lady
is the right cautionary tale.
- All right, let's get to brass tacks.
- Hmm.
Is Peter Beard really
ready to marry you?
Spill the beans.
Yes, I think so.
Well, he's kicked the barbiturates,
he's got enough money to keep us going.
God, he is so sexy, I don't
even care about the money.
- It's the sex.
- [STIFLED LAUGH]
Montauk, those weekends.
Yes, but, Lee, you can't
be having money issues.
Sell the place in London.
You're never there.
- Or Paris.
- I need them in case.
[SIGHS] I just wish he would
fucking stop coming here.
[SLIM] I could throw a glass
of Prosecco in his face.
Maybe then he'd get the message.
No, he would just lap it up.
We're going to be
exemplary, and you know it.
We would be in the Post
tomorrow, if not tonight.
Every waiter is a spy and every
diner is someone's tipster.
[PEN SCRATCHING]
[SIGHS]
[TRUMAN] Oh, hi. My God.
I didn't see you back there.
You both look wonderful. So wonderful.
Lee, I need to tell you so much,
your sister
Oh, well, that's I'll save it.
Yes. Do.
So
A new swan? A cygnet in training?
Yes? Hello, dear.
- Hi.
- Oh, yes.
We're off to Dick's,
he's photographing her.
Kate Harrington, this is Lee Radziwill.
I'd let my hair fall
naturally were I you, darling.
I mean, you're not
in the Daughters of
the American Revolution.
Send Dicky my best.
Can we have lunch?
Sure, Truman, sure.
Call me.
[SNIFFLES]
Well [CHUCKLES]
Maybe we don't have dessert
before Dick shoots you, my dear.
- [TRUMAN] What?
- Jesus, Truman.
You've-you've dressed her for a goddamn
Westport Ladies
Auxiliary lunch tea party.
Where's the cucumber sandwiches?
- I told you, Truman.
- Yeah, see?
She told you, Truman. Kate, come here.
Follow me, we'll fix this.
Jules, hey.
Yeah, Dick.
Take Kate, and you two
find some crap you like
while I explain what year
it is to Uncle Truman.
Oh, and, um, let Jules fix your hair.
He's a genius, you're gonna be great.
Nothing here can't be fixed.
[WHISPERS] It's magic land.
What's the matter with you?
What do you think you're doing?
It's 1978.
What year are you stuck in?
Well, I can't tell you, honestly.
- [LAUGHS]
- Jesus, Tru.
What are you what are you doing?
- Are you working?
- Yes, on the book, Dicky.
Mm. No, you're not.
Well, my confidence
took a bit of a knock
after what happened, sure.
Yeah, and wasting more of your time
trying to sell yourself to the movies?
Are you letting all
those ladies get to you?
I mean, I told them.
What did you tell them, Dick?
"What did you expect
of him? He's a writer.
You think he was just
gonna watch you guys
and not use any of it?"
Thank you, Richard. [CHUCKLES]
It's time to move on,
get your fire back.
You want the schadenfreude assholes
who rule this town to win?
Don't let them win.
["LAST NIGHT A DJ SAVED
MY LIFE" BY INDEEP PLAYING]
So, what do you want, dear?
- Do you really want to model?
- I'm not sure.
I might be better at the styling part.
Yeah?
Dance, would you?
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
- [LAUGHS] Dance?
- Dance. Movement.
Movement is youth, Kate.
Saved my life ♪
- [LAUGHS]
- Uh-huh.
Sure.
Movement is what, Dick?
Youth, Truman, movement is youth.
[TRUMAN] You never made
me dance or move around.
Well, that's because you were
always so drunk, I was afraid
you were gonna fall and
break your goddamn neck.
[RICHARD AND TRUMAN LAUGH]
Oh, Kate, you're beautiful, for sure,
but don't let Truman make
you be his little poppet.
He's got ulterior
motives. He's got history.
Right, Truman?
I don't know what I'd do ♪
Yeah ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved my
life from a broken heart ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved
my life with a song ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Truman, I want to sit down.
Is there anywhere to actually sit?
No, didn't I just tell you, dear heart?
Movement is youth. We
got to keep moving, C.Z.
Time never stops.
You can't let it get ahead of you.
If you blink, baby,
the world passes you by.
It may be too late, kid.
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved my
life from a broken heart ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life. ♪
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[C.Z.] I don't like this.
Two sweaty oldies but goodies
puttering around the dance floor.
God, it's unseemly.
I look like the grandmother
from The Addams Family.
[TRUMAN] No, you look happy, C.Z.
All publicity's good publicity.
What is it that Andy says?
"The only thing that matters
is how many column inches
you take up on the page."
If you're an artist,
maybe, but in my circles,
it's all about knowing when
to enter and when to exit.
We had our time.
The Black and White Ball,
the twist, that was ours.
Not disco.
I will not be seen like this again.
You know, I was coming back
from Dick's the other day
and I happened to touch Kate's
hand in the back of the cab.
It was startling.
Look at these liver spots.
[EXHALES]
And the thing is, I
still feel like I'm 30,
so why shouldn't I act like it?
Everybody gets old
and then they just go,
"Oh, I guess I'm old," and so
then they shrivel up and die.
But maybe the secret to immortality
is to never admit defeat.
The secret to immortality,
for you, Truman, is to write.
Keep writing.
My God, you've sacrificed
so much for this book.
Just finish it and you'll live forever.
[TRUMAN] [LAUGHS] Because
he won't screw her.
That's why she's wearing that
hideous little wrist brace.
No, it's nothing to do with tennis,
it's his endless demand
for hand jobs. [LAUGHS]
Mrs. Watson wants to know
when you're gonna pay your tab.
It's true, he sits
there flipping through
- You're two months late.
- the chorus boys' headshots
while she's pumping away.
[LAUGHS]
[CACKLES]
Oh, for heaven's sake.
[SLURRING] Diane, I'm going
to have to call you back.
The Inquisition has arrived.
Same to you. All right.
That happened to be
a very important call,
if you care to know.
Do you even want to stop with this?
I have to drink.
I am going on television tonight.
A talk show, and I get nervous.
I've got to be on, and
there's a sweet spot
right around three and a half
drinks when I really sing.
You said you were gonna write today.
- You promised me.
- Yeah, tell me, what did I promise you?
Paying your bills, getting
you headshots by the best,
and an agent and jobs.
Is that not enough?
Hmm?
- [CRYING]
- Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
I didn't mean
[SNIFFLES]
It's just
I'm doing the best I can,
you have to believe me.
Kate, I
You know, three years ago, I
said on Johnny Carson's show
that Jacqueline Susann looked
like a truck driver in drag.
- [LAUGHS]
- And I am still reaping
the benefits from that one little joke.
All the talk shows want me on.
They want me to talk about my feuds
And who I love and
who I hate and ♪
And that's how I pay the rent now.
It's not through writing,
it's through being a persona.
That's my career now.
You're just like him.
Papa.
I thought you were different.
But it's always the same, isn't it?
It's all the same.
[SHUSHES]
You're right, I know, I know, I know.
Just let me get through tonight.
[LAUGHS] I don't know what kind
of men are going to be left.
I mean, Peter Beard, you know, he,
he was a throwback to the swashbucklers,
but there's not a lot like him.
I mean, have all the straight men
moved back to Los Angeles?
[LAUGHTER]
Ten years is all I can do in a marriage.
- Mm.
- Ten with Howard,
ten with Leland and ten with Ken.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Don't laugh.
Come on, at least, at least now,
divorce is a badge of honor
and not a scarlet letter.
Well, it's that we
expect it to always stay
magical and exciting.
It doesn't have to be good, Slim,
it just has to be reliable.
No, Cee.
Why can't it be everything all at once?
Sex, money and an endless adventure.
Because that would be yet another story.
Did you catch Truman's
talk show appearance?
[LEE] Gore Vidal is suing.
And Truman, in order
not to be served papers,
is apparently hiding in a rehab.
[C.Z.] He's trying. He really is.
He told me, Lee, he tried to call you
because you told the
story, you can confirm it.
If you testify, you could save him.
His reputation, and what's more is
he has no money now.
- He could lose it all.
- [LEE] The story of Jackie
being manhandled by Gore, I
have no recollection of it.
It never happened, I never told it.
Besides, really, I
am so tired of it all.
Just two fags fighting.
I'm not getting involved anyway.
[C.Z.] The way she said it.
"Just two fags fighting."
I mean, really, Lee.
We owe them a modicum of respect.
The homosexuals, I mean.
We've all relied on
walkers over the years.
A safe man to take us out, laugh with,
a buffer against prying eyes and hands.
What's more, a homosexual won't drop you
after you reach a certain age.
If anything, they lift you higher.
It is a vital relationship.
There's a way one can
be in their company
that's different than how you
have to be with other women.
You can finally drop the armor.
I don't know if today's
women wear armor at all.
[LAUGHS] They don't have
to, they're "liberated."
Having to go out with a man,
gay or straight, it's over.
- The end of the walker.
- [BABE] Oh, gosh, I need gloves.
Yes, with all these treatments,
I'm beginning to understand
what a pincushion must feel like.
Needles in my hands, arms.
Bill noticed the bruising
and, of course, had to make a comment.
So, from now on, I'm going to be covered
every hour, every day.
Driving gloves, daywear gloves.
Hell, I'm even going to start a trend:
Watching TV wearing gloves.
And you know I can do it.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- Darling.
When you have cancer,
it's okay to have cancer.
[BABE LAUGHS SOFTLY]
[C.Z.] Wait.
- Where where is it?
- Excuse me, dear,
what's happened to the glove department?
- The glove department?
- [BABE] Yes. Ms. Pigeon?
Oh, yes. She's retired.
- Hmm.
- We may have something
over in hosiery,
but our clientele don't
wear a lot of gloves anymore.
We try to keep a very current inventory.
You might try Lord & Taylor.
♪
Palm Springs is the perfect place
to dry out because you never
want to go out anywhere.
It's all washed-up
starlets and old queens,
prickly as the cacti that stand guard
over their white stucco fortresses.
[KERRY] [OVER PHONE] What
are you doing right now?
Oh, just writing.
Well, I can go. I don't
want to disturb you.
No, no, it's perfect timing, dear.
I've been scribbling away
all morning, very Proustian.
That's great. Is the book
shaping up as you'd hoped?
- What, honey?
- I said is the book shaping up
- as you'd hoped?
- Not at all.
And I couldn't be happier.
What do you mean?
Well, you'll find this in your own work.
When you sit down to write,
the book will tell you what
it really wants to be about.
- Mm-hmm?
- This particular novel Answered Prayers
insists that it's going
to be about friendships,
how unlivable life is without them.
Now, I was charged a hefty
price for this insight, surely,
but I'm starting to
see that maybe it was
what needed to happen
in order for me to write.
I'm really happy for you, Truman.
- [MAN] Kate, get off the phone.
- [KERRY] Oh, gosh.
- Just a second.
- [CHUCKLES]
I hope you wiped down
that telephone receiver.
You never know where anything
in Andy's Factory has been.
Go out, be young, paint yourself blue
- and run around in the nude.
- Okay.
Once you get to be my age,
all you'll want to do is
retreat and never be
nude, ever. [LAUGHS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, that's the handyman, love.
- I got to go.
- Okay.
- Hugs and kisses.
- Okay, bye.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Mm, coming.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Howdy.
Here about the garbage disposal.
Howdy yourself. Come right in.
Mm. Well, I never knew the importance
of the garbage disposal.
Who knew it was so essential
to modern life? [LAUGHS]
I only encountered it
when I was unable to shred
the remains of the
coquille Saint Jacques.
[LAUGHS]
When I hit the thing you see here,
it doesn't do the thing.
Might be the shredding disc.
Did you check if you tripped
up the overload protector?
No, it's just, when I hit the thing,
it doesn't do the thing.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I got you, buddy.
Come here, let me show you how it works.
You want to push that red button down,
hold it for about three seconds.
That should reset it.
You want to give it a try?
[CHUCKLES]
If Jack could see me now.
Two, three.
There you go. All right.
Is that it?
Well, I might need to
get in there for a second.
Mm. Usually, when something breaks,
I just learn to live around it.
Jack is, um Oh, never mind.
Tell me about you. Who are you?
Where are you from?
Not from Palm Springs?
No. Illinois. Born and bred.
Illinois. Yes, I thought as much.
You're too corn-fed to be a desert rat.
So, did you come out here for a girl?
To get away from one, actually.
Yeah, she was awful pretty.
Almost married her, too.
Dad had a sugar beet factory.
Gonna set me up real good.
Mm, a beautiful girl, a stable job,
and yet you came running
out to the desert.
So you're an experiences
person. Life over comfort.
I'm exactly the same way.
What's your dream, if you
could do anything in the world?
Probably open a hog shop.
A what?
You know, motorcycles.
Sell 'em, fix 'em.
That's my Harley-Davidson outside,
1976 Super Glide.
Mmm. Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
- Illinois.
- [DISPOSAL RUNS, STOPS]
How fascinating.
Yeah. All done.
You know, I usually do
air condition repair, too.
Marvelous.
Say, Rick, I wonder if
you'd be at all interested
in having your cock sucked.
So, have you ever let
a man do that to you,
or just plain Jane
in Buckwheat, Illinois?
No, never.
Might have been the best
blow job I've ever had
in my life, though.
Well, the secret is to
glide with the thumb.
My friend Wallis Simpson
summers in Nantes.
She picks up these
priceless little nuggets
of wisdom from fishermen. [CHUCKLES]
Nantes. Where's that?
France, dear heart.
Have you been to Europe?
Been once. Went to Korea.
Well, that's the best part of Europe.
If you've seen Korea,
you've seen the whole place.
You're just darling. Don't ever change.
- Promise me.
- Hmm.
You know, a lot of guys have trouble
looking another man in the
eyes when they're together,
but you're not afraid
of anything, are you?
Hmm. I don't like snakes much.
[TRUMAN LAUGHING]
Well, I don't know about you,
but I've worked up an appetite.
What do you say we go
to Hamburger Hamlet?
I'll buy you anything you want.
I bet you can put away
three milkshakes, huh?
Mm.
Afraid I got to be hitting the road.
I got a 4:00 in the Movie Colony. AC.
Well
I'll just have to come with you, then.
[ZIPS PANTS]
["KISS YOU ALL OVER" BY EXILE PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES]
Gonna wrap my arms around you ♪
Hold you close to me ♪
Oh, babe, I want to taste
your lips, I wanna ♪
Sing it, man! Scream into the wind.
I don't know it.
Is this a big song right now?
It's the big song.
Well, I guess that
makes me officially old.
The lyrics to popular songs
are a code for the young
- and the young only.
- Till the night closes in ♪
Once you don't know them,
you're no longer in the club.
Till the night closes in. ♪
No, so, socialites, they do shit.
You just don't usually
catch them in the act.
However, on a yacht the
quarters are very close.
It's much harder to be discreet.
Now, my friend Minnie Peltz,
she'd been married ten years,
and as far as her husband knew,
she'd only ever used the toilet
to flush the occasional goldfish.
And she planned to
keep that appearance up,
thank you very much.
So, for four weeks at
sea, she didn't crap once.
[BOTH LAUGH]
She was so horribly stopped up,
her belly was sticking
out further than her feet.
She was having contractions.
Finally, they were
forced to drop anchor,
and a Croatian doctor
gave her a suppository.
Yeah, you know what that is?
When they take a big old horse pill
and they slather it in Crisco
- and they stick it up your butthole.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. [CHUCKLING]
- So that night
she gave birth to a shit baby.
[RICK LAUGHS]
And, honest to God,
she dropped 13 pounds.
- 13 pounds?
- But here's the kicker.
Guess what the name of the boat was.
- What?
- The Royal Flush.
[BOTH LAUGH]
The Royal Flush!
That can't be true.
- Is it?
- Well, if it isn't, it should be.
[LAUGHS]
You're a funny man. Funny man, Truman.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm going back to New York on Monday.
Why don't you come with me?
You're smart, witty, charming.
You're much too big for this town.
Really?
You think?
Isn't New York all fancy?
Oh, fancy's over.
It apparently went out
with the pill box hat.
Rosalynn Carter has
ushered in a new era.
Real is what's in.
People want salt-of-the-earth
straight shooters.
You know, in high school
I won homecoming king
- two years in a row.
- You see?
You were born for the society life.
They'll gobble you right up.
What would I talk about?
Well, you can talk
about anything you like.
What would you want to talk about?
I don't know.
[RICK] You should see what happens
when people try to fix
their own air conditioner.
Very interesting, Rick.
I fail to grasp the basic principle
of cooling air.
These are the mysteries that
keep you up at night, Tru?
[LAUGHTER]
[RICK] It's all about the Freon, babe.
The gas goes through the condenser,
makes its way through the
coil, comes out as liquid.
We should order the gooseberry
soufflé for dessert.
- It takes a while, so
- [RICK] But you need the right tools.
The gauge for the condenser.
Mallets, hacksaws, chisels, files.
I'm taking Rick to They're
Playing Our Song
on Broadway; Lucie Arnaz is in it.
[RICK] Yeah, I know
them from Palm Springs.
Lucille Ball, hell of a gal.
Yeah, I met little Lucie swimming laps.
We're gonna go backstage
and see them, right, Truman?
[TRUMAN] So, do we know, is Lee in town?
I had to fix Lucy's condenser
once. Freon everywhere.
[C.Z.] Palm Springs
in summer is wonderful.
We go to the movies every time we go.
It's the only cool place.
Saw That's Entertainment,
A Star Is Born,
The Pink Panther Strikes
Again all in one day
when it was 120 degrees out.
Guess who keeps those
movie theaters cool.
I'm going mad. I'm actually going mad.
C.Z., have you seen Lee?
Because she's going to help me
with this hideous lawsuit of Gore's.
[RICK] You're being sued? Why?
Oh, because, dearest man,
I-I went on a talk show
and I dared to tell the
truth about Gore Vidal.
Who's Gore Vidal?
Oh, an untalented hack of a writer
who was thrown out of the White House
by Robert Kennedy Jr. for
insulting Jackie's mother
Mrs. Hugh D. Auchincloss.
And then he had the
nerve to touch Jackie
violently and inappropriately
on the right shoulder.
He was drunk.
[RICK] A man should never touch a girl.
Like, never do that.
But Gore denies all this, you see,
and Lee is Jackie's sister.
And she's going to
confirm that what I said
is utterly true.
Oh, just apologize to
Gore and it all goes away.
Really, do you, do you
actually want to be mired
in a lawsuit with him?
Just be friends, Truman.
Friends?
No, I do feel sad for Gore.
Very sad that he has
to breathe every day.
[CHUCKLES]
Never back down when a pretentious toady
spits Freon at you, dear heart,
or they'll just keep
doing it. [CHUCKLES]
The wit and wisdom of
Truman Capote, part ten.
[TRUMAN] I never met a man who has
a natural aroma like you have.
You smell like some sort
of hazelnut patchouli
lemon desert sage.
It oozes out of every pore.
Come on, Truman, that's ticklish.
I know, but I've been looking
forward to you loosening me up.
This Gore stuff.
I thought you'd like to do me
like in that porno I showed you,
Boys in the Sand.
Oh, I do, but I'm tired.
All that shopping and that
fancy French restaurant.
- Come on.
- What do you mean?
Come on. I mean, I have
certain needs, you know.
Now we're like an old
pair of shoes together
after one month.
Look, your friend Andy's on Love Boat.
[TRUMAN] Ooh, look at him.
Oh, my God, it's a horror show.
They put embalming fluid in
his foundation, didn't they?
[LAUGHS]
Well, I should be on this.
They'd love to have me, wouldn't they?
Don't you think, if Andy's doing it?
Yeah.
Look at my skin.
It's all vines, like a map of the Nile.
And yours is plump and
fresh as a newborn's.
It's all the vodka.
Sucks out the moisture
till you're as dry as
an old smoked kipper.
Shh!
Watch the show. It's so good.
Look, you want to,
want me to let you blow
me during the commercials?
Yeah? Fantasy Island's on next.
Okay?
[RICK SIGHS]
Well, it's finally happened.
What's happened?
I've gone out of style.
Truman, the fact is, Gore Vidal has
a good case for defamation.
And Lee Radziwill is
not returning my calls.
Lee's not calling you back?
But aren't you her attorney, too?
I handled the divorce, yeah,
but lawsuits make people squeamish.
They behave like you're contagious,
as though it's a leprosy.
I'll write a draft of
an apology for you
No, no apologies. No!
No. If you don't mind,
I'm calling C.Z. Guest.
I'm fed up.
Secrets.
These women and their secrets.
[LINE RINGING]
[C.Z.] Hello?
Dear heart, it's Uncle Truman here.
Look, I really need
to ask you something.
Well, make it quick, Uncle.
Cornelia and I are making samosas
for her show and tell at school.
Look, why is Lee doing
everything she can
not to help me with this
wretched Gore situation?
Oh, God, Truman, do I have to be dragged
into the middle of this?
Cornelia, that's enough cumin, darling.
No, you know and you're not telling me.
Truman, okay, here's what it is.
She's not going to help you.
She's not?
She made a nasty remark.
Well, what did Lee say?
They are two fags.
It's the most disgusting
I'm-I'm not getting involved anyway.
[CHUCKLES]
It's that side of her
that's just savage.
I suppose I should have told you,
but it was too ugly, and I thought
you'd have settled it with Gore by now.
Lee said that?
Well, I hope someone's telling her
that her new love
interest Mr. Herbert Ross
has sucked more cocks than a deckhand
on the Fire Island Ferry come August.
I have to go. Just apologize to Gore
and move on.
Now that's a kick in
the rubber parts, Burt.
Lee.
I'm afraid she's just had
too much pain in her life
to help a friend now.
Truman, apologize to
Gore Vidal for God's sake.
All this stress is killing you.
You need to finish the book.
I can't keep defending
you to Random House.
Go down to my house in Boca, dry out,
and finish Answered Prayers.
Enough with the dramas, please.
Aren't you tired?
Aren't I tired?
Exhausted, Burt. Simply exhausted.
But if everyone's turning against me,
when do I dare sleep?
And it's happened before,
this thing they do, this shaming.
This use of the word "fag."
I don't know why.
Is this what all women
do behind the backs
- of their gay friends?
- Oh, Truman.
You are talking about Lee Radziwill,
perhaps the unhappiest,
most covetous famous sister
in New York, if not America.
And Ann Woodward,
a self-murdering
killer, for God's sake.
This is not exactly a
representative demographic.
No, I think it's pervasive, Jack.
It's contempt, and we just live with it.
Humming in the background.
Gay men have always had these
particular kind of women friends
who all have their odd, arid marriages
and their little affairs.
- And we're sort of Pomeranians to them, aren't we?
- [LAUGHS]
There to cuddle when they need
something fluffy to hold onto.
But should we growl or show our teeth,
- then it's off to the pound we go.
- Yes.
Let me explain something to
you, and perhaps you'll hear it.
Whatever force that hypnotized you
about your fucking swans was
It's a distortion, Truman.
This is, this is a mirage.
These are entrapped lost souls,
these ladies of Manhattan
that you've collected,
and you're so much better
now that the spell is broken.
I don't think that you
actually realize that you wrote
"La Cote Basque" in order
to free yourself of them.
So what now, what? You're scared?
You amputated them.
You never really needed them.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
So much wisdom in you.
I spend so much time
resenting that about you,
and it's the thing I
most love about you.
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
Look at them. Babes in arms.
Were we ever that young?
We were younger, actually, when we met.
- Were we?
- Mm-hmm.
Do you really have to go
back to Switzerland, Jack?
Oh, come on. You've got Kid Freon, okay?
I'm heading back, yes.
Skiing's good right now,
and I have my own book to finish.
We're still us.
Even when I'm not here
we're us.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
♪
[TRUMAN] [ON TV] I didn't
have a booze problem,
I had a tranquilizing problem.
I was taking a lot of tranquilizers
'cause I'm an extremely
highly strung person
and always have been.
And I've, I've been taking,
uh, the tranquilizers
for over a period of ten years,
which is a long time.
And it's not how many, it's
the cumulative effect of them.
I mean, these doctors that
had me on these valium
and Librium
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
♪
[CRYING]
Well, it's a big fall for me.
I'm going to be doing press,
and I have a new fella.
So I just have to look good.
[NORMAN] Well, it's
pretty straightforward.
I go along the natural line here
- Oh.
- of the upper lid above the eye,
trimming as I go.
And then the lower lid,
Tru, I got to cut out the fat
that created these bags,
which are filled with
vodka, as far as I can tell.
Look, I've stopped, I've
cleaned up, Norman, honestly.
And we got to get the neck, too.
Platysmaplasty is really
where it's gonna help
because your neck is in terrible shape.
I know.
You got to take better care of yourself.
Those peels we did, that's all erased
because of your terrible health habit.
No, a new leaf, I'm telling you.
Norman, just make me
look the way I used to.
- Okay.
- I want to match on the outside
the way I feel on the inside.
- Okay, well, I'll try.
- I want to stun them all.
- I need to.
- Hey, babe,
you've stunned them all
already with your excerpt,
- which I loved.
- Thank you, Norman.
So tell me, when is the book coming out?
Are you close to done?
I want to read the rest.
Well, I work every day.
You know, Norman, I went light
on them in "Cote Basque."
They were offended, really?
It's so much worse. I was kind.
Please, when I think about what
they're putting me through
This censoriousness, as though I were
some lapdog meant to heel,
like one of Wallis
Simpson's fucking pugs.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Well, I loved it.
Uh, I can do the surgery
next month on the tenth.
That sounds good.
I'm worried about the pain, of course.
- Why?
- Well, people think I'm strong,
but I can't bear physical
pain, I really can't.
You'll be fine.
What is all this now?
Well, Sunny von Bülow
recommended these ones
but told me not to mix 'em with these.
Yeah, Halcion doesn't
go well with anything,
let alone Vicodin.
What do you want, respiratory arrest?
- Let me see what else you have in here.
- No.
Valium, Dilantin, codeine. Tuinal.
Where did you get this one?
This isn't even legal
in this country, Truman.
I wish I'd married a nice
Jewish doctor like you.
Oh, shut up.
One who'd keep all my
pills in order for me
- and dispense them properly.
- Well, I'm taken.
Promise you'll protect me from the pain.
Would I lie to you?
You think I want to end up in your book?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh Okay.
Oh, Rick.
Yeah.
Well, you're going
sooner than I thought,
but you stayed longer than I expected.
Do you need some money?
Tru, I told you,
air conditioning repair
is very lucrative.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
Look, I'm just going to say it.
I can't be your boyfriend.
- I can't.
- No, I guess not.
No.
[TRUMAN SNIFFLES]
I miss my fiancée.
You're engaged?
Gina.
She works at the I. Magnin
at the Desert Fashion Plaza Mall
where you got me this watch.
- Do you want it back?
- No, dear, I don't.
Keep the Rolex and think
of me as time goes by.
Part of me wants to scream at you
and say you're a lying, rotten user,
and your tumbleweed
of a girlfriend is
department store trash,
and she'll scrape her teeth on your cock
every time she puts it in her mouth.
But for some dumb reason,
I can't quite figure
out how to be mad at you.
[RICK LAUGHS SOFTLY]
[TRUMAN GRUNTS]
[RICK SIGHS]
Take care of yourself, Tru.
Don't let the monsters get you.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
You know, maybe you
should get a teddy bear.
- [SCOFFS]
- Something to hold onto at night.
Well, send me one from I. Magnin.
Make it cute, in a sailor suit.
I will.
["PERFECT DAY" BY LOU REED PLAYING]
Just a perfect day ♪
Drink sangria in the park ♪
And then later ♪
When it gets dark, we go home ♪
Just a perfect day ♪
Feed animals in the zoo ♪
[TRUMAN] Answered Prayers,
Chapter 20, "Our Time."
Being the last will and
testament of P.B. Jones.
My moment was brief in that time.
My body was lithe enough to attract men
and women as much as
as often as they or I needed.
And friends, too, came easily.
Because when you are in your time,
you attract people to your light.
You can laugh easily
and recover instantly
from booze and slights and bruises.
I had that with my friends.
Now I have only one or two left.
Friends. Old together.
As I lay here on a hammock in Tangier,
alone as far as the eye can see,
time zones distant from
anyone who knows me,
what I remember is mostly the
sun and how it felt on skin.
That is what friendship, the
love of friends, feels like.
Luck.
Salt when you lick
someone's sun-dappled arm.
Light.
And that is what I miss,
because in this desert heat,
I do not feel it now.
Oh, it's such a perfect day ♪
I'm glad I spent it with you ♪
Oh, such a perfect day ♪
You just keep me hanging on ♪
You just keep me hanging on ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow. ♪
I'm late, I'm late, I know.
My poor Dutch Master daffodils
were positively shivering in this cold.
I had to get them all in
before the deep freeze.
There's still one shivering
daffodil who needs you.
I'm sorry, my little flower.
Thank you for running
this errand with me.
I need durable straw hats for gardening.
Terry is the only one I trust.
[TERRY] Not today.
You'll have to come back
for the closeout sale.
[TRUMAN] Terry.
Oh, Mrs. Guest, Mr. Capote.
What closeout sale?
Terry, no. Galore is an institution,
- and you've been here forever.
- 44 years.
Nobody wants hats anymore, I'm afraid.
The end of an era.
I was planning to retire,
but I didn't think
it would be like this.
Where am I going to get
my good gardening hats now?
Well, how many have you got left, Terry?
Doesn't matter, I'll take them all.
I'll get some for Bunny Mellon as well.
Oh, she's gonna be just sick.
[TERRY] I'll go see
what we have in the back.
C.Z., do you remember that
Easter a few years ago?
You, me, Slim, Lee and
Babe had Good Friday lunch
at La Cote and we got so tipsy
we thought we'd be brash and brassy
and buy outlandish Easter bonnets.
And Babe found that
towering floral thing
with ribbons flowing down her back.
And it had faux lilies
like whipped cream.
She looked like a
dessert. I told her so.
[LAUGHS] I've never
seen Babe laugh so hard.
[CHUCKLES]
How is she?
Um
She's good. She's getting the best care.
It hasn't spread to
any other organs, so
Hmm. A heart so cold, even
cancer couldn't touch it.
Truman, don't.
Oh, I'm gonna miss hats.
In the South, everyone wore them.
Rich folk, poor folk, white, colored.
A hat was a symbol of hope.
My mother had a marvelous collection.
She used to let me keep the boxes.
The tissue paper, the smells.
- I've got ten left, Mrs. Guest.
- Ooh.
I-I can't do delivery anymore.
Oh, no matter. I'll send Luis around.
Should I?
- [LAUGHS]
- Let's swing by Tiffany's.
Kate's in her final year of school,
and I want to surprise her
with a string of pearls.
The real thing for the real thing.
That's what I'm going
to write on the card.
So, how's it going with your protégé?
Oh, my God, she's the Second Coming.
And she was born to model.
I'm going to turn her
into the next Veruschka.
Veruschka? She's ancient.
All the girls want to be
like Christie Brinkley now.
No, but Kate's not like that.
That Colgate smile, vulgar tan nonsense.
She's a classic beauty.
She's beautiful because she's young.
Everybody who's young is beautiful.
I only wish someone had told
me that when I was that age.
- Oh, everybody told you.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
Mm, it's good,
but don't you think you
could go a tad higher?
You know, Dusty Springfield
used to tuck a maxi pad under
there to give it more oomph.
Where's your pocketbook, Kate?
I'll see if you've got one.
No, Truman.
What's got your bonnet in a bunch?
This is your big day.
Girls would be tripping over themselves
to get a photo shoot with Dick Avedon.
- Sorry.
- Hmm.
I am grateful.
It's just
[LAUGHS] Well, I mean,
it's a little matronly.
[LAUGHS]
Why don't you leave the
styling to the stylists?
[LAUGHS]
Back when I threw my Black
and White Ball in 1966,
Mr. Kenneth's salon was
hotter than Studio 54.
Thought you were gonna stop drinking.
Champagne isn't drinking.
It's good for the stomach.
Like a digestif.
Don't you pull your
sourpuss with me, dear.
Dick is going to fawn
over you, and so will
all the magazine editors I'm
going to hook you up with.
Grace Mirabella at Vogue,
she's a dear friend.
By this time next year,
you'll be on the cover.
Now, Kenneth, how are we getting along?
- We mustn't be late for lunch.
- Yes.
[CLEARS THROAT]
[MUTTERS SOFTLY]
♪
[GRUNTS SOFTLY]
- Babe.
- Babe.
♪
♪
♪
♪
- Hello.
- Hello.
- Welcome to La Cote Basque.
- Thank you.
Right this way, please.
[TRUMAN] See?
Not a soul here can
take their eyes off you.
- [KERRY] Yes, I am aware of that.
- Well, what's the matter?
You're as stiff as a B movie robot.
How many B movie robots
went around disguised
like 50-year-old society ladies?
[LAUGHS]
You just need some
snails and some oysters
to loosen you up, darling.
Now hold your head
high and stop frowning.
You'll get lines like
the Mariana Trench.
The what?
"'O Oysters, come and walk with me!'
The Walrus did beseech.
'A pleasant walk, a pleasant talk,
Along the briny beach.
We cannot do with more than four,
- To give a hand to each.'"
- [LAUGHS]
Mmm.
- Lewis Carroll, my dear.
- Mm.
- Bravo.
- [LAUGHS]
How do you remember all these poems?
I listen.
Now, I have listened to your
complaints about my dragging you
- to too many lunches with my friends.
- Oh, good.
And I have come up with the
perfect solution, dear Kate.
Eavesdropping.
Eavesdropping?
If you want to be a writer, or
any person of note, actually,
you must realize the importance
of that which is overheard
the next table over.
Great title, by the
way. It's yours, darling.
It's where all the action
is if your table is dull.
And you may well be at a dull
table in life, I do sympathize.
But you master the art of listening
to who's right over there.
You really, actually don't believe
in privacy at all, do you, Truman?
Come on, Truman. Don't
be a stick in the mud.
Nobody's more fun than me.
Princess Margaret. Maybe.
[BOTH LAUGH]
I got you that.
Oh. You.
Let's have some île
flottante for dessert.
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[SLIM] He's starting
to sink into himself.
The cost of it, all his
betraying and nastiness.
Look at him.
It catches up.
You earn the face you deserve.
That's his new protégé,
that horrible man John's poor daughter.
- He's trying to mold her.
- Hmm.
He changed her last
name to erase her dad.
Erase. I'd like to warn her.
[SLIM] Well, he's got her dressed like
she's at a flower show in Minneapolis.
[LEE] Remember what happened
with Eliza Doolittle?
She dumped Henry Higgins.
I think My Fair Lady
is the right cautionary tale.
- All right, let's get to brass tacks.
- Hmm.
Is Peter Beard really
ready to marry you?
Spill the beans.
Yes, I think so.
Well, he's kicked the barbiturates,
he's got enough money to keep us going.
God, he is so sexy, I don't
even care about the money.
- It's the sex.
- [STIFLED LAUGH]
Montauk, those weekends.
Yes, but, Lee, you can't
be having money issues.
Sell the place in London.
You're never there.
- Or Paris.
- I need them in case.
[SIGHS] I just wish he would
fucking stop coming here.
[SLIM] I could throw a glass
of Prosecco in his face.
Maybe then he'd get the message.
No, he would just lap it up.
We're going to be
exemplary, and you know it.
We would be in the Post
tomorrow, if not tonight.
Every waiter is a spy and every
diner is someone's tipster.
[PEN SCRATCHING]
[SIGHS]
[TRUMAN] Oh, hi. My God.
I didn't see you back there.
You both look wonderful. So wonderful.
Lee, I need to tell you so much,
your sister
Oh, well, that's I'll save it.
Yes. Do.
So
A new swan? A cygnet in training?
Yes? Hello, dear.
- Hi.
- Oh, yes.
We're off to Dick's,
he's photographing her.
Kate Harrington, this is Lee Radziwill.
I'd let my hair fall
naturally were I you, darling.
I mean, you're not
in the Daughters of
the American Revolution.
Send Dicky my best.
Can we have lunch?
Sure, Truman, sure.
Call me.
[SNIFFLES]
Well [CHUCKLES]
Maybe we don't have dessert
before Dick shoots you, my dear.
- [TRUMAN] What?
- Jesus, Truman.
You've-you've dressed her for a goddamn
Westport Ladies
Auxiliary lunch tea party.
Where's the cucumber sandwiches?
- I told you, Truman.
- Yeah, see?
She told you, Truman. Kate, come here.
Follow me, we'll fix this.
Jules, hey.
Yeah, Dick.
Take Kate, and you two
find some crap you like
while I explain what year
it is to Uncle Truman.
Oh, and, um, let Jules fix your hair.
He's a genius, you're gonna be great.
Nothing here can't be fixed.
[WHISPERS] It's magic land.
What's the matter with you?
What do you think you're doing?
It's 1978.
What year are you stuck in?
Well, I can't tell you, honestly.
- [LAUGHS]
- Jesus, Tru.
What are you what are you doing?
- Are you working?
- Yes, on the book, Dicky.
Mm. No, you're not.
Well, my confidence
took a bit of a knock
after what happened, sure.
Yeah, and wasting more of your time
trying to sell yourself to the movies?
Are you letting all
those ladies get to you?
I mean, I told them.
What did you tell them, Dick?
"What did you expect
of him? He's a writer.
You think he was just
gonna watch you guys
and not use any of it?"
Thank you, Richard. [CHUCKLES]
It's time to move on,
get your fire back.
You want the schadenfreude assholes
who rule this town to win?
Don't let them win.
["LAST NIGHT A DJ SAVED
MY LIFE" BY INDEEP PLAYING]
So, what do you want, dear?
- Do you really want to model?
- I'm not sure.
I might be better at the styling part.
Yeah?
Dance, would you?
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
- [LAUGHS] Dance?
- Dance. Movement.
Movement is youth, Kate.
Saved my life ♪
- [LAUGHS]
- Uh-huh.
Sure.
Movement is what, Dick?
Youth, Truman, movement is youth.
[TRUMAN] You never made
me dance or move around.
Well, that's because you were
always so drunk, I was afraid
you were gonna fall and
break your goddamn neck.
[RICHARD AND TRUMAN LAUGH]
Oh, Kate, you're beautiful, for sure,
but don't let Truman make
you be his little poppet.
He's got ulterior
motives. He's got history.
Right, Truman?
I don't know what I'd do ♪
Yeah ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved my
life from a broken heart ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved
my life with a song ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Truman, I want to sit down.
Is there anywhere to actually sit?
No, didn't I just tell you, dear heart?
Movement is youth. We
got to keep moving, C.Z.
Time never stops.
You can't let it get ahead of you.
If you blink, baby,
the world passes you by.
It may be too late, kid.
Last night a DJ saved my life ♪
Last night a DJ saved my
life from a broken heart ♪
Last night a DJ saved my life. ♪
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
[C.Z.] I don't like this.
Two sweaty oldies but goodies
puttering around the dance floor.
God, it's unseemly.
I look like the grandmother
from The Addams Family.
[TRUMAN] No, you look happy, C.Z.
All publicity's good publicity.
What is it that Andy says?
"The only thing that matters
is how many column inches
you take up on the page."
If you're an artist,
maybe, but in my circles,
it's all about knowing when
to enter and when to exit.
We had our time.
The Black and White Ball,
the twist, that was ours.
Not disco.
I will not be seen like this again.
You know, I was coming back
from Dick's the other day
and I happened to touch Kate's
hand in the back of the cab.
It was startling.
Look at these liver spots.
[EXHALES]
And the thing is, I
still feel like I'm 30,
so why shouldn't I act like it?
Everybody gets old
and then they just go,
"Oh, I guess I'm old," and so
then they shrivel up and die.
But maybe the secret to immortality
is to never admit defeat.
The secret to immortality,
for you, Truman, is to write.
Keep writing.
My God, you've sacrificed
so much for this book.
Just finish it and you'll live forever.
[TRUMAN] [LAUGHS] Because
he won't screw her.
That's why she's wearing that
hideous little wrist brace.
No, it's nothing to do with tennis,
it's his endless demand
for hand jobs. [LAUGHS]
Mrs. Watson wants to know
when you're gonna pay your tab.
It's true, he sits
there flipping through
- You're two months late.
- the chorus boys' headshots
while she's pumping away.
[LAUGHS]
[CACKLES]
Oh, for heaven's sake.
[SLURRING] Diane, I'm going
to have to call you back.
The Inquisition has arrived.
Same to you. All right.
That happened to be
a very important call,
if you care to know.
Do you even want to stop with this?
I have to drink.
I am going on television tonight.
A talk show, and I get nervous.
I've got to be on, and
there's a sweet spot
right around three and a half
drinks when I really sing.
You said you were gonna write today.
- You promised me.
- Yeah, tell me, what did I promise you?
Paying your bills, getting
you headshots by the best,
and an agent and jobs.
Is that not enough?
Hmm?
- [CRYING]
- Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear.
I didn't mean
[SNIFFLES]
It's just
I'm doing the best I can,
you have to believe me.
Kate, I
You know, three years ago, I
said on Johnny Carson's show
that Jacqueline Susann looked
like a truck driver in drag.
- [LAUGHS]
- And I am still reaping
the benefits from that one little joke.
All the talk shows want me on.
They want me to talk about my feuds
And who I love and
who I hate and ♪
And that's how I pay the rent now.
It's not through writing,
it's through being a persona.
That's my career now.
You're just like him.
Papa.
I thought you were different.
But it's always the same, isn't it?
It's all the same.
[SHUSHES]
You're right, I know, I know, I know.
Just let me get through tonight.
[LAUGHS] I don't know what kind
of men are going to be left.
I mean, Peter Beard, you know, he,
he was a throwback to the swashbucklers,
but there's not a lot like him.
I mean, have all the straight men
moved back to Los Angeles?
[LAUGHTER]
Ten years is all I can do in a marriage.
- Mm.
- Ten with Howard,
ten with Leland and ten with Ken.
- [LAUGHTER]
- Don't laugh.
Come on, at least, at least now,
divorce is a badge of honor
and not a scarlet letter.
Well, it's that we
expect it to always stay
magical and exciting.
It doesn't have to be good, Slim,
it just has to be reliable.
No, Cee.
Why can't it be everything all at once?
Sex, money and an endless adventure.
Because that would be yet another story.
Did you catch Truman's
talk show appearance?
[LEE] Gore Vidal is suing.
And Truman, in order
not to be served papers,
is apparently hiding in a rehab.
[C.Z.] He's trying. He really is.
He told me, Lee, he tried to call you
because you told the
story, you can confirm it.
If you testify, you could save him.
His reputation, and what's more is
he has no money now.
- He could lose it all.
- [LEE] The story of Jackie
being manhandled by Gore, I
have no recollection of it.
It never happened, I never told it.
Besides, really, I
am so tired of it all.
Just two fags fighting.
I'm not getting involved anyway.
[C.Z.] The way she said it.
"Just two fags fighting."
I mean, really, Lee.
We owe them a modicum of respect.
The homosexuals, I mean.
We've all relied on
walkers over the years.
A safe man to take us out, laugh with,
a buffer against prying eyes and hands.
What's more, a homosexual won't drop you
after you reach a certain age.
If anything, they lift you higher.
It is a vital relationship.
There's a way one can
be in their company
that's different than how you
have to be with other women.
You can finally drop the armor.
I don't know if today's
women wear armor at all.
[LAUGHS] They don't have
to, they're "liberated."
Having to go out with a man,
gay or straight, it's over.
- The end of the walker.
- [BABE] Oh, gosh, I need gloves.
Yes, with all these treatments,
I'm beginning to understand
what a pincushion must feel like.
Needles in my hands, arms.
Bill noticed the bruising
and, of course, had to make a comment.
So, from now on, I'm going to be covered
every hour, every day.
Driving gloves, daywear gloves.
Hell, I'm even going to start a trend:
Watching TV wearing gloves.
And you know I can do it.
- [LAUGHS SOFTLY]
- Darling.
When you have cancer,
it's okay to have cancer.
[BABE LAUGHS SOFTLY]
[C.Z.] Wait.
- Where where is it?
- Excuse me, dear,
what's happened to the glove department?
- The glove department?
- [BABE] Yes. Ms. Pigeon?
Oh, yes. She's retired.
- Hmm.
- We may have something
over in hosiery,
but our clientele don't
wear a lot of gloves anymore.
We try to keep a very current inventory.
You might try Lord & Taylor.
♪
Palm Springs is the perfect place
to dry out because you never
want to go out anywhere.
It's all washed-up
starlets and old queens,
prickly as the cacti that stand guard
over their white stucco fortresses.
[KERRY] [OVER PHONE] What
are you doing right now?
Oh, just writing.
Well, I can go. I don't
want to disturb you.
No, no, it's perfect timing, dear.
I've been scribbling away
all morning, very Proustian.
That's great. Is the book
shaping up as you'd hoped?
- What, honey?
- I said is the book shaping up
- as you'd hoped?
- Not at all.
And I couldn't be happier.
What do you mean?
Well, you'll find this in your own work.
When you sit down to write,
the book will tell you what
it really wants to be about.
- Mm-hmm?
- This particular novel Answered Prayers
insists that it's going
to be about friendships,
how unlivable life is without them.
Now, I was charged a hefty
price for this insight, surely,
but I'm starting to
see that maybe it was
what needed to happen
in order for me to write.
I'm really happy for you, Truman.
- [MAN] Kate, get off the phone.
- [KERRY] Oh, gosh.
- Just a second.
- [CHUCKLES]
I hope you wiped down
that telephone receiver.
You never know where anything
in Andy's Factory has been.
Go out, be young, paint yourself blue
- and run around in the nude.
- Okay.
Once you get to be my age,
all you'll want to do is
retreat and never be
nude, ever. [LAUGHS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Oh, that's the handyman, love.
- I got to go.
- Okay.
- Hugs and kisses.
- Okay, bye.
[CHUCKLES]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Mm, coming.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
Howdy.
Here about the garbage disposal.
Howdy yourself. Come right in.
Mm. Well, I never knew the importance
of the garbage disposal.
Who knew it was so essential
to modern life? [LAUGHS]
I only encountered it
when I was unable to shred
the remains of the
coquille Saint Jacques.
[LAUGHS]
When I hit the thing you see here,
it doesn't do the thing.
Might be the shredding disc.
Did you check if you tripped
up the overload protector?
No, it's just, when I hit the thing,
it doesn't do the thing.
- [CHUCKLES]
- I got you, buddy.
Come here, let me show you how it works.
You want to push that red button down,
hold it for about three seconds.
That should reset it.
You want to give it a try?
[CHUCKLES]
If Jack could see me now.
Two, three.
There you go. All right.
Is that it?
Well, I might need to
get in there for a second.
Mm. Usually, when something breaks,
I just learn to live around it.
Jack is, um Oh, never mind.
Tell me about you. Who are you?
Where are you from?
Not from Palm Springs?
No. Illinois. Born and bred.
Illinois. Yes, I thought as much.
You're too corn-fed to be a desert rat.
So, did you come out here for a girl?
To get away from one, actually.
Yeah, she was awful pretty.
Almost married her, too.
Dad had a sugar beet factory.
Gonna set me up real good.
Mm, a beautiful girl, a stable job,
and yet you came running
out to the desert.
So you're an experiences
person. Life over comfort.
I'm exactly the same way.
What's your dream, if you
could do anything in the world?
Probably open a hog shop.
A what?
You know, motorcycles.
Sell 'em, fix 'em.
That's my Harley-Davidson outside,
1976 Super Glide.
Mmm. Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
- Illinois.
- [DISPOSAL RUNS, STOPS]
How fascinating.
Yeah. All done.
You know, I usually do
air condition repair, too.
Marvelous.
Say, Rick, I wonder if
you'd be at all interested
in having your cock sucked.
So, have you ever let
a man do that to you,
or just plain Jane
in Buckwheat, Illinois?
No, never.
Might have been the best
blow job I've ever had
in my life, though.
Well, the secret is to
glide with the thumb.
My friend Wallis Simpson
summers in Nantes.
She picks up these
priceless little nuggets
of wisdom from fishermen. [CHUCKLES]
Nantes. Where's that?
France, dear heart.
Have you been to Europe?
Been once. Went to Korea.
Well, that's the best part of Europe.
If you've seen Korea,
you've seen the whole place.
You're just darling. Don't ever change.
- Promise me.
- Hmm.
You know, a lot of guys have trouble
looking another man in the
eyes when they're together,
but you're not afraid
of anything, are you?
Hmm. I don't like snakes much.
[TRUMAN LAUGHING]
Well, I don't know about you,
but I've worked up an appetite.
What do you say we go
to Hamburger Hamlet?
I'll buy you anything you want.
I bet you can put away
three milkshakes, huh?
Mm.
Afraid I got to be hitting the road.
I got a 4:00 in the Movie Colony. AC.
Well
I'll just have to come with you, then.
[ZIPS PANTS]
["KISS YOU ALL OVER" BY EXILE PLAYING]
[CHUCKLES]
Gonna wrap my arms around you ♪
Hold you close to me ♪
Oh, babe, I want to taste
your lips, I wanna ♪
Sing it, man! Scream into the wind.
I don't know it.
Is this a big song right now?
It's the big song.
Well, I guess that
makes me officially old.
The lyrics to popular songs
are a code for the young
- and the young only.
- Till the night closes in ♪
Once you don't know them,
you're no longer in the club.
Till the night closes in. ♪
No, so, socialites, they do shit.
You just don't usually
catch them in the act.
However, on a yacht the
quarters are very close.
It's much harder to be discreet.
Now, my friend Minnie Peltz,
she'd been married ten years,
and as far as her husband knew,
she'd only ever used the toilet
to flush the occasional goldfish.
And she planned to
keep that appearance up,
thank you very much.
So, for four weeks at
sea, she didn't crap once.
[BOTH LAUGH]
She was so horribly stopped up,
her belly was sticking
out further than her feet.
She was having contractions.
Finally, they were
forced to drop anchor,
and a Croatian doctor
gave her a suppository.
Yeah, you know what that is?
When they take a big old horse pill
and they slather it in Crisco
- and they stick it up your butthole.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm. [CHUCKLING]
- So that night
she gave birth to a shit baby.
[RICK LAUGHS]
And, honest to God,
she dropped 13 pounds.
- 13 pounds?
- But here's the kicker.
Guess what the name of the boat was.
- What?
- The Royal Flush.
[BOTH LAUGH]
The Royal Flush!
That can't be true.
- Is it?
- Well, if it isn't, it should be.
[LAUGHS]
You're a funny man. Funny man, Truman.
[CHUCKLES]
I'm going back to New York on Monday.
Why don't you come with me?
You're smart, witty, charming.
You're much too big for this town.
Really?
You think?
Isn't New York all fancy?
Oh, fancy's over.
It apparently went out
with the pill box hat.
Rosalynn Carter has
ushered in a new era.
Real is what's in.
People want salt-of-the-earth
straight shooters.
You know, in high school
I won homecoming king
- two years in a row.
- You see?
You were born for the society life.
They'll gobble you right up.
What would I talk about?
Well, you can talk
about anything you like.
What would you want to talk about?
I don't know.
[RICK] You should see what happens
when people try to fix
their own air conditioner.
Very interesting, Rick.
I fail to grasp the basic principle
of cooling air.
These are the mysteries that
keep you up at night, Tru?
[LAUGHTER]
[RICK] It's all about the Freon, babe.
The gas goes through the condenser,
makes its way through the
coil, comes out as liquid.
We should order the gooseberry
soufflé for dessert.
- It takes a while, so
- [RICK] But you need the right tools.
The gauge for the condenser.
Mallets, hacksaws, chisels, files.
I'm taking Rick to They're
Playing Our Song
on Broadway; Lucie Arnaz is in it.
[RICK] Yeah, I know
them from Palm Springs.
Lucille Ball, hell of a gal.
Yeah, I met little Lucie swimming laps.
We're gonna go backstage
and see them, right, Truman?
[TRUMAN] So, do we know, is Lee in town?
I had to fix Lucy's condenser
once. Freon everywhere.
[C.Z.] Palm Springs
in summer is wonderful.
We go to the movies every time we go.
It's the only cool place.
Saw That's Entertainment,
A Star Is Born,
The Pink Panther Strikes
Again all in one day
when it was 120 degrees out.
Guess who keeps those
movie theaters cool.
I'm going mad. I'm actually going mad.
C.Z., have you seen Lee?
Because she's going to help me
with this hideous lawsuit of Gore's.
[RICK] You're being sued? Why?
Oh, because, dearest man,
I-I went on a talk show
and I dared to tell the
truth about Gore Vidal.
Who's Gore Vidal?
Oh, an untalented hack of a writer
who was thrown out of the White House
by Robert Kennedy Jr. for
insulting Jackie's mother
Mrs. Hugh D. Auchincloss.
And then he had the
nerve to touch Jackie
violently and inappropriately
on the right shoulder.
He was drunk.
[RICK] A man should never touch a girl.
Like, never do that.
But Gore denies all this, you see,
and Lee is Jackie's sister.
And she's going to
confirm that what I said
is utterly true.
Oh, just apologize to
Gore and it all goes away.
Really, do you, do you
actually want to be mired
in a lawsuit with him?
Just be friends, Truman.
Friends?
No, I do feel sad for Gore.
Very sad that he has
to breathe every day.
[CHUCKLES]
Never back down when a pretentious toady
spits Freon at you, dear heart,
or they'll just keep
doing it. [CHUCKLES]
The wit and wisdom of
Truman Capote, part ten.
[TRUMAN] I never met a man who has
a natural aroma like you have.
You smell like some sort
of hazelnut patchouli
lemon desert sage.
It oozes out of every pore.
Come on, Truman, that's ticklish.
I know, but I've been looking
forward to you loosening me up.
This Gore stuff.
I thought you'd like to do me
like in that porno I showed you,
Boys in the Sand.
Oh, I do, but I'm tired.
All that shopping and that
fancy French restaurant.
- Come on.
- What do you mean?
Come on. I mean, I have
certain needs, you know.
Now we're like an old
pair of shoes together
after one month.
Look, your friend Andy's on Love Boat.
[TRUMAN] Ooh, look at him.
Oh, my God, it's a horror show.
They put embalming fluid in
his foundation, didn't they?
[LAUGHS]
Well, I should be on this.
They'd love to have me, wouldn't they?
Don't you think, if Andy's doing it?
Yeah.
Look at my skin.
It's all vines, like a map of the Nile.
And yours is plump and
fresh as a newborn's.
It's all the vodka.
Sucks out the moisture
till you're as dry as
an old smoked kipper.
Shh!
Watch the show. It's so good.
Look, you want to,
want me to let you blow
me during the commercials?
Yeah? Fantasy Island's on next.
Okay?
[RICK SIGHS]
Well, it's finally happened.
What's happened?
I've gone out of style.
Truman, the fact is, Gore Vidal has
a good case for defamation.
And Lee Radziwill is
not returning my calls.
Lee's not calling you back?
But aren't you her attorney, too?
I handled the divorce, yeah,
but lawsuits make people squeamish.
They behave like you're contagious,
as though it's a leprosy.
I'll write a draft of
an apology for you
No, no apologies. No!
No. If you don't mind,
I'm calling C.Z. Guest.
I'm fed up.
Secrets.
These women and their secrets.
[LINE RINGING]
[C.Z.] Hello?
Dear heart, it's Uncle Truman here.
Look, I really need
to ask you something.
Well, make it quick, Uncle.
Cornelia and I are making samosas
for her show and tell at school.
Look, why is Lee doing
everything she can
not to help me with this
wretched Gore situation?
Oh, God, Truman, do I have to be dragged
into the middle of this?
Cornelia, that's enough cumin, darling.
No, you know and you're not telling me.
Truman, okay, here's what it is.
She's not going to help you.
She's not?
She made a nasty remark.
Well, what did Lee say?
They are two fags.
It's the most disgusting
I'm-I'm not getting involved anyway.
[CHUCKLES]
It's that side of her
that's just savage.
I suppose I should have told you,
but it was too ugly, and I thought
you'd have settled it with Gore by now.
Lee said that?
Well, I hope someone's telling her
that her new love
interest Mr. Herbert Ross
has sucked more cocks than a deckhand
on the Fire Island Ferry come August.
I have to go. Just apologize to Gore
and move on.
Now that's a kick in
the rubber parts, Burt.
Lee.
I'm afraid she's just had
too much pain in her life
to help a friend now.
Truman, apologize to
Gore Vidal for God's sake.
All this stress is killing you.
You need to finish the book.
I can't keep defending
you to Random House.
Go down to my house in Boca, dry out,
and finish Answered Prayers.
Enough with the dramas, please.
Aren't you tired?
Aren't I tired?
Exhausted, Burt. Simply exhausted.
But if everyone's turning against me,
when do I dare sleep?
And it's happened before,
this thing they do, this shaming.
This use of the word "fag."
I don't know why.
Is this what all women
do behind the backs
- of their gay friends?
- Oh, Truman.
You are talking about Lee Radziwill,
perhaps the unhappiest,
most covetous famous sister
in New York, if not America.
And Ann Woodward,
a self-murdering
killer, for God's sake.
This is not exactly a
representative demographic.
No, I think it's pervasive, Jack.
It's contempt, and we just live with it.
Humming in the background.
Gay men have always had these
particular kind of women friends
who all have their odd, arid marriages
and their little affairs.
- And we're sort of Pomeranians to them, aren't we?
- [LAUGHS]
There to cuddle when they need
something fluffy to hold onto.
But should we growl or show our teeth,
- then it's off to the pound we go.
- Yes.
Let me explain something to
you, and perhaps you'll hear it.
Whatever force that hypnotized you
about your fucking swans was
It's a distortion, Truman.
This is, this is a mirage.
These are entrapped lost souls,
these ladies of Manhattan
that you've collected,
and you're so much better
now that the spell is broken.
I don't think that you
actually realize that you wrote
"La Cote Basque" in order
to free yourself of them.
So what now, what? You're scared?
You amputated them.
You never really needed them.
Jack, Jack, Jack.
So much wisdom in you.
I spend so much time
resenting that about you,
and it's the thing I
most love about you.
- [LAUGHS]
- What?
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
Look at them. Babes in arms.
Were we ever that young?
We were younger, actually, when we met.
- Were we?
- Mm-hmm.
Do you really have to go
back to Switzerland, Jack?
Oh, come on. You've got Kid Freon, okay?
I'm heading back, yes.
Skiing's good right now,
and I have my own book to finish.
We're still us.
Even when I'm not here
we're us.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
♪
[TRUMAN] [ON TV] I didn't
have a booze problem,
I had a tranquilizing problem.
I was taking a lot of tranquilizers
'cause I'm an extremely
highly strung person
and always have been.
And I've, I've been taking,
uh, the tranquilizers
for over a period of ten years,
which is a long time.
And it's not how many, it's
the cumulative effect of them.
I mean, these doctors that
had me on these valium
and Librium
[CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY]
♪
[CRYING]
Well, it's a big fall for me.
I'm going to be doing press,
and I have a new fella.
So I just have to look good.
[NORMAN] Well, it's
pretty straightforward.
I go along the natural line here
- Oh.
- of the upper lid above the eye,
trimming as I go.
And then the lower lid,
Tru, I got to cut out the fat
that created these bags,
which are filled with
vodka, as far as I can tell.
Look, I've stopped, I've
cleaned up, Norman, honestly.
And we got to get the neck, too.
Platysmaplasty is really
where it's gonna help
because your neck is in terrible shape.
I know.
You got to take better care of yourself.
Those peels we did, that's all erased
because of your terrible health habit.
No, a new leaf, I'm telling you.
Norman, just make me
look the way I used to.
- Okay.
- I want to match on the outside
the way I feel on the inside.
- Okay, well, I'll try.
- I want to stun them all.
- I need to.
- Hey, babe,
you've stunned them all
already with your excerpt,
- which I loved.
- Thank you, Norman.
So tell me, when is the book coming out?
Are you close to done?
I want to read the rest.
Well, I work every day.
You know, Norman, I went light
on them in "Cote Basque."
They were offended, really?
It's so much worse. I was kind.
Please, when I think about what
they're putting me through
This censoriousness, as though I were
some lapdog meant to heel,
like one of Wallis
Simpson's fucking pugs.
- [CHUCKLES]
- Well, I loved it.
Uh, I can do the surgery
next month on the tenth.
That sounds good.
I'm worried about the pain, of course.
- Why?
- Well, people think I'm strong,
but I can't bear physical
pain, I really can't.
You'll be fine.
What is all this now?
Well, Sunny von Bülow
recommended these ones
but told me not to mix 'em with these.
Yeah, Halcion doesn't
go well with anything,
let alone Vicodin.
What do you want, respiratory arrest?
- Let me see what else you have in here.
- No.
Valium, Dilantin, codeine. Tuinal.
Where did you get this one?
This isn't even legal
in this country, Truman.
I wish I'd married a nice
Jewish doctor like you.
Oh, shut up.
One who'd keep all my
pills in order for me
- and dispense them properly.
- Well, I'm taken.
Promise you'll protect me from the pain.
Would I lie to you?
You think I want to end up in your book?
[BOTH LAUGH]
Oh Okay.
Oh, Rick.
Yeah.
Well, you're going
sooner than I thought,
but you stayed longer than I expected.
Do you need some money?
Tru, I told you,
air conditioning repair
is very lucrative.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
Look, I'm just going to say it.
I can't be your boyfriend.
- I can't.
- No, I guess not.
No.
[TRUMAN SNIFFLES]
I miss my fiancée.
You're engaged?
Gina.
She works at the I. Magnin
at the Desert Fashion Plaza Mall
where you got me this watch.
- Do you want it back?
- No, dear, I don't.
Keep the Rolex and think
of me as time goes by.
Part of me wants to scream at you
and say you're a lying, rotten user,
and your tumbleweed
of a girlfriend is
department store trash,
and she'll scrape her teeth on your cock
every time she puts it in her mouth.
But for some dumb reason,
I can't quite figure
out how to be mad at you.
[RICK LAUGHS SOFTLY]
[TRUMAN GRUNTS]
[RICK SIGHS]
Take care of yourself, Tru.
Don't let the monsters get you.
[TRUMAN CHUCKLES]
You know, maybe you
should get a teddy bear.
- [SCOFFS]
- Something to hold onto at night.
Well, send me one from I. Magnin.
Make it cute, in a sailor suit.
I will.
["PERFECT DAY" BY LOU REED PLAYING]
Just a perfect day ♪
Drink sangria in the park ♪
And then later ♪
When it gets dark, we go home ♪
Just a perfect day ♪
Feed animals in the zoo ♪
[TRUMAN] Answered Prayers,
Chapter 20, "Our Time."
Being the last will and
testament of P.B. Jones.
My moment was brief in that time.
My body was lithe enough to attract men
and women as much as
as often as they or I needed.
And friends, too, came easily.
Because when you are in your time,
you attract people to your light.
You can laugh easily
and recover instantly
from booze and slights and bruises.
I had that with my friends.
Now I have only one or two left.
Friends. Old together.
As I lay here on a hammock in Tangier,
alone as far as the eye can see,
time zones distant from
anyone who knows me,
what I remember is mostly the
sun and how it felt on skin.
That is what friendship, the
love of friends, feels like.
Luck.
Salt when you lick
someone's sun-dappled arm.
Light.
And that is what I miss,
because in this desert heat,
I do not feel it now.
Oh, it's such a perfect day ♪
I'm glad I spent it with you ♪
Oh, such a perfect day ♪
You just keep me hanging on ♪
You just keep me hanging on ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow ♪
You're going to reap
just what you sow. ♪