Gossip Girl (2021) s02e06 Episode Script

1
Greetings, followers.
From The Godfather
to Game of Thrones.
One thing is certain.
Everybody loves a wedding.
Whether it's in the hallowed halls
of St. George's Windsor,
or the parking lot of a little
white chapel in Vegas,
we just love to celebrate love.
And when it comes to luck
on the big day,
don't forget the four essentials.
Something old, something new,
something borrowed
Three times has to be a record.
Records are meant to be broken.
- What's with the shopping spree?
- It was comped.
They asked me to be a brand ambassador.
Of course they did. You must get
offers like that all the time.
No. Not since
That mess with your dad?
Which means that, maybe,
finally, all of that is behind me.
LVMH is gonna announce
the new partnership
on Saturday while
I'm at Max's dads' vow renewal.
I have a plus one.
I want us to be public.
I do. It's just a little soon.
Yeah, of course.
Well, in the meantime,
maybe we could set
a new record, Madam Ambassador?
And last,
but in this case, most definitely least,
something blue.
So exchange those rings
- Oh! Flowers in the backyard.
- stomp those glasses
and dance the hora.
Who knows what the night will bring?
From the patron saint of pansexuality
to Mr. Matrimony in a couple
of weeks. What, are you, high?
You know what? I am actually
surprisingly sober.
You must be rubbing off on me, Hope.
And not just in the way
that I usually prefer.
Dad and Pops' vow renewal
at the Botanical Gardens,
it's gonna make their actual wedding
look like a rehearsal.
Wait till you see the tux and gown
that Keeks is designing.
Once those pics hit New York Mag,
Keek's re-branding
will officially launch.
Oh, yeah. New York Mag?
Try top feature
in the Times vows section.
Yeah. Oh, and I secured
the hottest wedding planner in the city.
They are gonna make sure
that every last detail
is perfectly executed
so that my dads only have
to think about one thing.
Love.
Posted.
Why can't we meet at school anymore?
Bushwick is for Thai and coke only.
Now that Mike knows
Thinks Jordan is Gossip Girl,
the three of us really shouldn't
be seen together.
It's been days and nothing.
I even still have my job.
Waiting for the other Shubin
to drop is aggravating my IBS.
I don't get it. What are he
and his mysterious benefactor
- waiting for?
- Arrest warrants to process?
Actually, my money is on a hit job.
Jor-Jor, stay ten feet away
at all times.
I can't die in this skirt.
No matter what,
we should exercise caution.
Maybe not post as much for a few days?
Better to keep attention off
until we know what's what.
Okay. Time to begin my nightly
looking over my shoulder
every time someone moves on the subway.
Ladies first.
Um, Jordan.
What you said to Mike about, you know,
your feelings for me. Was, um
Oh, God. You you didn't think
I actually meant that, did you?
I I would have said
anything to save us.
Right. Of course.
Thank you.
Dad? Julien? Anyone?
Okay.
- The power that that has.
- Mm.
Don't know why they didn't pick me.
You're clearly a Chanel girl.
With a fraction of the followers.
I've been living under my dad's shadow
for so long,
I never thought I was gonna get
another one of these opportunities.
It feels so good
to be back in the spotlight.
Do you like this baguette?
I can only be seen wearing
their accessories now.
Hmm. And will you be
revealing your other
new accessory as well?
Who you clearly spent
all afternoon with,
instead of letting me find
something to match
that Papillion.
Graham and I are taking it slow.
There's no need to rush anything.
Mm-hmm.
He said no.
Cut him some slack.
He just left his wife.
That's a lot to adjust to before
you're seen with someone new.
Are you sure he left her?
Isn't that like the go-to line
every cheater says to their mistress?
Why would he lie? I hadn't even
slept with him yet.
- Ah.
- Oh.
Okay. Drinks on LVMH?
This is a work event after all.
New year, same naïveté?
That's why she's always had us.
You know what to do.
So, you know
how my mom has been stonewalling me
about the Jakarta building?
I I think that I found a way
to get the project manager
to speak to me.
So, look, I know that
my mom cut me off, right?
But nobody else knows that.
So, I left a message
saying that I've been asked
to be their go-between
and hopefully, she takes the bait.
- I knew you'd figure it out.
- Well,
what can I say, man? You inspired it.
You know? I owe you.
What do you wanna do?
Uh, dinner at Stone Barns?
A custom skateboard? You name it.
Big talk for someone
who no longer owns a black card.
Wow. Ouch. All right, how about an IOU?
Cocktail hour
is from 4:00 to 4:40 sharp,
so Keeks must have
the gown and the tux ready.
Uh, Jeanine Tesori, scored
custom processional music.
Th that's gonna be at 4:41.
And then Oh.
That's odd.
It's the manager of the venue.
Hey, Kathryn.
Oh, I think there's been a mistake.
Uh, no, our coordinator
is handling that.
Uh, of course,
I understand, Kathryn, but
- What's happening?
- Oh, nothing.
Just notifying me
of our event's cancellation
due to our failure to pay for
the back half of the deposit.
Your coordinator forgot to pay?
Oh, no. That Judas
didn't forget anything.
Aha! See? Look.
His company just announced
that he's coordinating a wedding
this weekend at Can you guess?
Brooklyn Botanical Gardens.
He played me for our venue.
We don't have a venue.
What are we gonna do?
What am I gonna tell them?
Hi. Do you mind if we
If we speak in English?
I don't know why your mother
needs me to speak to anyone.
Uh, well I I think
that she just, uh, she wants to
make sure that we're all still
on the same page.
If she really paid Tómas
to say, if asked,
that he lied in his soil report,
we're good.
But if she lied to me
and expects me to take the fall
for accepting his doctoring as fact,
we are not on the same page, Otto.
Well, did you sign your NDA?
Of course I did. But I will break it.
If she tries to destroy me,
I will tell the world that she
was behind everything.
Z! I didn't know you were coming.
Sorry I missed your call.
I just I've been so busy.
Yeah, I know. It seems like
everybody has been lately.
Are you okay?
Actually, there was something that I
Oh. It's Dacha
from LVMH. I have to take this.
- Yeah.
- Okay.
- Can you?
- Yeah.
- Hey.
- Who cares?
I told you
there was stuff in your requests.
Look. They're offering you
a partnership.
Mango? They'd offer that a partnership,
they're so desperate.
I told you,
I can't reach the next level.
Okay.
Wait. Who is this?
- Do you know this person?
- BillyEyelash169? That's a bot.
Well, this bot says they saw
a sex tape starring you.
Did you go to Philly last Friday?
God, no, of course not.
Besides, I've always said
that I'm gonna drop my tape
right before graduation
to give me a little pop
going into college.
That's a catfish.
"My friend, Drew, says you were great.
I was wondering if I could
come up and hang?"
- Pretty detailed bot.
- Fine.
I'll bite and see what this is about.
LVMH just cancelled the ambassadorship.
What? Why?
They said that something new
came to light
that constitutes an ethical violation
- for the brand.
- Fuck. GG travels fast.
What did you do?
I may have sent in a tip
to try to get Graham
to publicly commit.
She posted five minutes ago.
This just in.
Snagged something
before it hit the market.
A certain Mr. Who still has his Mrs.
Or maybe I'm Miss Informed?
With her own home in shambles,
is she wrecking someone else's?
- This can't be it.
- Is this what I think it is?
Oh, my God.
I think I found out what it is.
This isn't over.
GG's been hacked.
Someone just posted
and it wasn't me or Wendy.
It was me.
What happened to staying quiet?
If this is ending soon,
we have limited time left
to make a difference.
I got a tip I couldn't ignore.
Or since you're off the hook,
you went back to business as usual?
Jordan, nothing is gonna happen.
If it were,
it would have happened already.
You can't live in fear.
On the subject of fear
Now might be a good time to admit
I do have feelings for you.
What are you
doing? Stop, stop! Let me go!
This is me, all my cards on the table
wondering if
you could ever feel the same way
- about
- Let me out!
Kate, are you there?
Well, I tried to get them
to undo the error to no avail,
so my dads are gonna have
to postpone and it's all my fault.
It is not your fault, okay?
And postponing wouldn't be
the worst thing in the world.
I mean, it'll give you more time
to make it perfect.
This is what happens, okay?
First, it's postponed,
then it falls off
the calendar completely
and then they never
get back together again.
And any waning belief
I have left in love
- dies with them.
- Okay, okay.
I see we're spiraling.
I'm sure we can hustle up
another venue by lunch.
People cancel their weddings
all the time.
There's bound to be
a last-min avail somewhere.
You call the Carlyle and Pierre,
and I will call
the Frick and the Weylin.
Roy and Gideon
will have their special day.
- I promise, okay?
- Okay.
Okay. Okay. Okay, bye.
I just can't believe that they
would care about my love life.
Maybe they found out that I gave away
the Neverfull Catogram in 2019.
Oh, honey,
you were right to regift that.
The only thing that changed
between them wanting you
and dropping you
is GG posting about your affair.
His marriage was already over.
Said every mistress ever.
I'm just not buying it, Lu.
It has to be something else.
Well, maybe Graham has his own skeletons
in his closet that they found out about.
And no, I'm not talking about
all that Asos.
An SOS indeed.
Graham has been nothing
but honest with me from day one.
It has to be something else, okay?
It has to. I'll see you guys at lunch.
Ooh, what's up with her?
She's more delusional
than liberal Ye fans.
I saw this happen with my parents
when my mom had affairs.
Whoever this Graham person is,
he's lying to her.
It's time to do some digging.
Hey, speaking of digging,
um, any advice on how
to damage control a sex tape
that you never made and haven't seen?
You sure it's not you?
There's a man in it.
Well, you need to find out
why someone used your name
in order to clear it
before Vivid has you listed
between a Hogan and a Hilton.
Couldn't help overhearing.
Um, but I think it is so terrible
that someone is sharing a sex
tape of you without your consent.
I think you should find them
and make them apologize.
Apologize? No.
I want complete destruction.
And you'll get that. But first,
make sure the video is deleted.
I mean, come on. Take it from someone
who's had a video
come back to haunt them.
Hmm. Fire starter makes a valid point.
- I can help.
- No. I'm not outsourcing,
especially not
to a suburb like yourself.
Lu?
Sorry. Slammed doing recon for Julien.
Fine. Find the perpetrator,
delete the video,
and make sure no one ever thinks
that I've ever stepped foot in Philly.
They're called
flyover states for a reason.
- Actually, Philadelphia isn't
- Hmm?
Never mind.
Uh, first thing I'm gonna need
is access to your Instagram
so that I can
- triangulate
- If you post, you die.
At least now I know
what they did, right?
I just need to make
sure it gets out there.
I need to find an outlet
that's out of their reach,
- you know?
- Well,
why don't you talk to Gossip Girl?
After she sat
on the last shit I sent her?
No way.
- Well
- I might have an idea though.
Have you seen Kate this morning?
Nope. She was a no-show for
her first class, which is unusual.
I'm willing to bet it's not unusual
for women to hightail it
after you confess
your feelings for them.
Deeply regret
sharing that I shared
that information with you.
The one you should regret
sharing it with is Kate.
No way she would miss work
just to ghost me.
- I'm calling her.
- Stalker.
To see if she's okay.
You've reached the voicemail box
of Kate Keller. I can't come
to the phone right now,
but leave a message
and I will call you back.
Hello? Is someone there?
- Please don't hurt me.
- Relax.
You're too small to hurt.
I prefer a fair fight.
Georgina Sparks?
You know who I am?
Well, of course you do.
You're Gossip Girl.
- I'm not.
- Save your breath.
You're gonna need it.
Coming off Sedivet
can be really, really rough.
Water?
You kidnapped me.
You never forget your first time.
Why?
I paid well for your identity.
- Mike.
- And now, he has enough capital
to finish his queer Tolstoy doc.
He led me to Jordan,
but I knew it wasn't him.
Too beta. I had to find his alpha.
You, a teacher, as GG.
Much better than Dan.
It never made sense
how he could be so many places at once.
But you, so compact, so beige.
Those forgettable features.
I could never blend in
with this bone structure.
Why is it getting all blurry again?
That water is ionized,
alkaline, and has Rohypnol.
I needed more time.
For what?
I have big plans for you, Kate Keller.
Even the fucking Rainbow Room is booked.
Okay. So that leaves the Constance gym
or Café Un Deux Trois in Times Square?
Dad needs their love
to be affirmed with champagne
and couture and 200
of their closest friends.
He will see the failure of that
as a bad omen,
and you know what a Pisces he is.
Hey, what do you think
about a non-traditional venue?
As long as it's not Carmine's, I'm in.
What do you have in mind?
- Status update.
- Yeah.
Right. Uh, so, the guy that
DM'd you doesn't have the video
He just saw it. He claims
the person that took the video
has the only copy.
I found his name. Drew Pearson.
So, I say you go find him,
do that terrifying
Monet thing that you do,
and get him to delete the video of you.
But, see, that video is not of me.
You thought I would let you DM
as me without keeping tabs?
I've been monitoring
every thought bubble,
every nervous typo you've made,
including the message you deleted,
where he said
the girl in the video had, um,
tattoos of dots on the back of her neck.
You wanna tell me why you made
a sex tape in my name?
Oh. I mean, of course.
If I had yours,
I would do the same thing.
But something just tells me
that there's more to it than that.
Okay. Fine. Yes.
I slept with this guy, Drew,
and it was my first time
and I felt really awful about it.
I just wanted to put
the whole thing behind me,
but I didn't know he was recording.
And the fact that he was
makes everything so much worse
than it already was. Please, Monet,
you're the only one who can help.
You're the only one who knows.
You wanna be Monet de Haan so bad?
Do what she would do.
Figure it out on your own.
Clear my name
or I'll destroy yours, okay?
Mr. Bergmann. You have two minutes.
Uh, hi. I was I was hoping
that you would accept my apology
if it came with a story
that you couldn't resist.
Congrats on becoming,
uh, deputy editor by the way.
Youngest in the magazine's history.
I know, yes.
Your voicemail, if true
It is true, Miss Yuki. Yes, all of it.
Your family paid an engineer
to say the soil
for their Jakarta project was solid.
When the soil proved unsafe,
they paid him even more to say
he did it on his own?
Yes.
Yeah. That's right. And
and now, he's taking the fall.
That answers my question
about why you're turning
on your own family.
I can't stay silent anymore.
Who is our duty to?
Billionaires like my parents
who who don't care who they hurt
or people who trust them
whose lives they endanger daily?
Can you come up and meet
with our investigative team?
Right now? Yeah.
Sorry. Did you say venue change?
Uh, but the spray roses
are already on their way
to the Botanical.
Uh, no. Actually, they
They just arrived at BAM.
Yeah, there was a, uh,
a bit of a miscommunication
with the Garden,
but I've handled everything.
Uh, the guests have been notified,
uh, and and the musicians
have been rerouted.
So, T-minus 16 hours
until the most epic
vow renewal of all time.
Why why didn't you tell us
there was a problem?
Because I wanted everything
to be perfect.
And, look, I know
- I know that BAM is not
- But it is.
That's where we had our second date.
- That Dutch Lear, it was awful.
- Oh, God.
It was not as bad as the mahi-mahi
that gave me food poisoning
across the street.
But you stayed with me all night.
- You held my hair back.
- I do not miss that ponytail.
I do.
Oh, who would have thought
that such a terrible night
would be the start
of something incredibly special?
Okay.
Hey, Max, how did you land BAM?
Uh, moving forward,
our family trust is part
of the President's Circle
till, uh, what is it? 2066.
Oh.
So you do realize this will all
come out of your inheritance?
Pops.
Hey.
How you guys doing?
At least now we know why LV
pulled your ambassadorship.
How do you know that's even her?
Uh, does Graham usually whisper
into pregnant strangers' stomachs?
Please tell me you're blocking him.
I'll do you one better.
Hey, I was just thinking about you.
Hey, I missed you. How was your day?
Played a fundraiser
at the National Arts Club.
Dead as you'd expect.
Did you do anything else?
Have any fun pit stops on the way home?
Just thinking about you.
Well, maybe I should come over?
- Tonight isn't great.
- Oh, that's too bad.
How about tomorrow?
Now that Gossip Girl's
basically outed us,
any chance you've had a change of heart,
being my plus one to the vow renewal?
Promise no posting?
All the cameras will be pointed
at the altar, not me.
I can guarantee it.
Well, if you really
want me there, I'm there.
I'll text you the address.
Why didn't you call him out on his lie?
I need that ambassadorship,
and the only way to get it back
is to prove to Louis Vuitton
that I would never date a married man,
let alone a father-to-be.
A live Stop the Story
at the vow renewal?
I've taught you well.
Hey, Milo. It's Zoya. I need your help.
Oh, good. You're awake.
Did you enjoy your 24-hour nap?
What are you doing?
Isn't this your house?
Brooklyn Heights?
I'd rather be back at Jesus camp
than be caught dead here.
This is Dan and Serena's house.
They fired their staff
when they thought
someone was breaking in.
Someone is.
At first, they thought
it was the doorman,
but when they kept
coming home to this
they put up cameras everywhere.
I had my son loop the image.
So now, they're bringing in
a paranormal expert.
They have no idea I'm their poltergeist.
How long have you been doing this?
Five or six years.
At first, it was small annoyances,
taking a sock or two,
turning the heat down.
But then I wanted a little more fun,
like replacing the oat milk
with full dairy.
Their kid's lactose intolerant.
They've seen every specialist
and no one knows what's wrong.
This is illegal.
I don't wanna be a part of it.
Says the woman who built
a weapon of mass distraction,
capable of controlling New York's elite
in a way that puts
the old Gossip Girl to shame.
- You really think it's better?
- Well, I think it can be better.
And I am going to need
the highly capable you
- for what I'm planning.
- I'm afraid to ask.
Oh, no biggie, just destroying
Max Wolfe's parents' re-wedding.
I'm not going to do that.
Well, then it looks like
I have no choice
but to turn you in to the police.
Cyber stalking and bullying
carries up to three years in prison.
Defamatory libel, another five years.
Criminal harassment, that's ten more.
Looks like I own you
from here on out, KK.
Inspired choice, Maxie.
It's over-the-top,
but classic at the same time.
Sort of like us.
Saskia sends her regrets.
Somehow her flight
was rerouted to Saskatchewan.
Now, let's get you both dressed
and ready backstage.
Wait till you see
what I had Kiki design for you.
Speaks volumes to our new beginning.
I feel the same about what
I had her design for you,
my love.
- Let's go.
- Okay. Go, go, go, go, go.
Uh, whoa, I'm sorry. Uh
What is happening?
These are clearly for a Bordeaux
and not for our signature Burgundy.
I mean
Who have I become?
- A bridezilla, apparently.
- Listen, babe.
You are just stressed
because you care, okay?
You've already handled the one
thing that goes wrong at every wedding.
It's clear skies from here on out.
This will be a day
your dads will never forget.
Okay.
Milo?
Have you spotted the target?
No, um, but he should
arrive in a minute.
And he wasn't suspicious
about a last-minute invite
- to a wedding?
- No.
Not after I told him
Amanda Gorman was doing
a reading and that I would
happily make an introduction.
- And he just arrived.
- Good.
Get his phone and I'll get you
off the top downloads
of '22. Ulyana
will make contact shortly.
- Wait. Who?
- Ulyana.
You're not coming?
I'm afraid an unexpected
wrinkle prevents my attendance.
I don't understand why we're doing this.
What do you have against Max's dads?
Can't you just switch their salt
and pepper grinders
- or something?
- Ooh. That might be fun.
I bet Roy does have high blood pressure.
But first
You have a whole list?
If I do all of this,
can I please go home
before anyone sees me? I beg of you.
Just do everything and then we'll talk.
And don't forget
to turn on the stage lights.
And then you can find me on the balcony
for the coup de grace.
Bye-bye, kitten.
Graham is on his way. And his wife?
Doing Gideon's hair as we speak.
I thought that was just
an excuse to get her here.
She's not actually doing Gideon's hair?
Well, she showed up with her kit.
What was I supposed to do?
- There he is.
- Here we go.
- Hey.
- Hey, you made it.
- Bulking up for winter?
- Oh. Hmm.
I'm just not really sure
how long the rest
of my pocket money is gonna last.
Uh, yeah, about that
Still no word from my mom.
But I have an interview
with New York Magazine.
First thing Monday. On the record, too.
As soon as that goes to print,
my parents can't hide anymore.
Have you seen Audrey? I hate
flying solo at these things.
- Hey, Mom.
- Oh, hi.
Hi. We may have a small problem.
- Oh.
- Come on. Let's go.
- Problem? What problem?
- Whatever.
What in God's name
Is this?
Is this what Roy meant when he
said the look he created with you
would "Speak to our new
beginning together"?
- Back to square fucking one?
- No.
No. I I didn't make this for you.
I made you a gorgeous gown.
I I don't know who would make this.
I bet that the dresser
accidentally switched,
uh, Dad's outfit with Pop's.
Well, I have three feet on Pop,
so this would be too short on him.
I did not make that for Roy.
You specifically requested
the two Toms with tails.
- This is Macy's!
- Oh.
- I can't have that material on my skin.
- Okay, okay.
You know what? I'll check
the other dressing room.
I'm I'm sure they're both in there.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Honey. Yeah. See? Honey, listen.
Audrey is going to fix this,
and everything is going
to go as planned.
Are you trying to convince me
right now or you?
- Definitely me.
- No, but you're right.
- It's all gonna be fine.
- Yeah.
- Oh, I'm so sorry
- No, no, no.
that I assumed the worst.
I think I just have pre-renewal jitters.
- Yes. Of course.
- It's getting to me real bad.
Oh, sweet mother
of God. What happened to my hair?
Please tell me
this is a work deep in progress.
You don't like it?
Do you? I requested a 1920s bob.
I did not request
Barbra in A Star Is Born.
I went off of the reference
your assistant gave me.
My assistant?
Yeah. Small, really nervous, blonde.
- I can fix it. I promise.
- Yeah, sweetheart,
do not come near me
with those hedge clippers.
Um, so good news and bad news.
The bad news
is that Kiki's designs are gone,
uh, vanished, and no one can find them.
- Oh, my God. So
- Mm-hmm. And the good news?
The good news is that I found
this in its place.
That? That's the good news?
I'm meant to walk down the aisle
looking like a Mormon bride?
I can fix this.
I'm gonna cut the bias
and add some ruching.
In 30 minutes?
Necessity is the mother
of invention and so is mine.
So, let's get to the costume shop.
Dad, I am so sorry.
I know that this wasn't how
it was meant to go.
No, don't be silly.
Bad things always happen in threes.
It's gotta be uphill from here.
With "Together,
Wherever We Go" from Gypsy.
Is that
I can't believe they just pulled
the offer. They didn't say why?
Only that something recently
came to light that eliminated me.
Well, I say their loss.
Enough about me.
How's your, uh, separation?
Things okay between you and Ashley?
Um, it's been hard,
but being with you makes it easier.
Another glass of champagne?
I know that look.
You're having second thoughts.
What if we don't have the whole story?
Outing him in front of his pregnant wife
- is a little extreme.
- Two words. "Pregnant. Wife."
Look, you're a good person, Jules,
which is why you always try
to see the best in others.
To your own detriment.
Case in point, your dad.
It's high time we end centuries of women
giving men the benefit of the doubt.
If not for you, do it for Ashley.
You're right.
We take this
Stop the Story live in five.
You're doing the right thing, Boo.
Here you go, sir.
Thanks again for the invite.
Amanda Gorman being here is insane.
And a new poem from me, as requested.
Right. Wow. She's gonna
She's gonna love it.
Man,
New Yorkers sure know
how to throw a party.
I gotta take a snap to show my friends.
Uh, actually, there's a
There's a no phone policy
at this wedding, on account
of all the celebrities here.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
There's a
There's a whole phone concierge.
You must have missed it. Here,
let me take your phone for you
and, uh, why don't you get us
some drinks while you wait?
Oh.
Uh, cool. Yeah, sure. Thanks.
Ulyana?
Are you fucking kidding me?
I have some very not good news.
I already found out that the doggie bag
I asked for is a non-starter.
Well, my dad just offered to buy
New York Magazine.
What?
My parents must have
found out that I went to Nelly Yuki.
Now, they're trying to get
your dad to step in,
buy New York Magazine,
and turn it into another one
of his evil propaganda machines
and bury the story forever.
How much fucking money
does your dad actually have?
Well, Bezos once asked him for a loan.
My fucking mom, dude.
Uh, attention, everyone.
Can we all please take
a moment to just enjoy this
very special tribute
to my parents' love through the years?
Okay. Uh.
Scratch that. If everyone can
actually just head
to the auditorium, uh, and we'll
begin the ceremony shortly.
Kate. You owe me an explanation.
- Jordan, what are you
- Doing here?
You've been MIA for two days,
and then I see you in the background
of someone's story?
What I said was a lot,
and it probably should
have been done in person,
but I think you're running from this
because you're scared
you feel the same way.
And if I'm wrong, I need to hear it.
Bitch.
Uh, uh, I don't feel
the same way at all.
I'm I have to go right now.
I'm sorry.
- Well, is it gone?
- Yes,
but not on my account.
I remotely checked his desktop,
combed his cloud. Incinerated his phone.
Incinerated?
I'm nothing if not thorough.
But I couldn't find your video anywhere.
Well, maybe there's no video after all.
You know about the video?
If you wanted to know about it,
you could've just asked, Monet.
Hmm?
Okay. First of all,
my name is not Monet. I lied.
And, yes, I know about the video
that you took of me
that I did not consent to,
you little shit.
Is that why you invited me here?
No. I invited you
because of your sparkling personality
and ability with blank verse.
So there's no Amanda Gorman?
Seriously? The reason I invited you here
is because I wanted to erase that video.
I wish I could erase the real act,
- but since I can't
- There is no video.
I deleted it.
The ceremony's about to start.
I think we should get to our seats.
You're gonna wanna see this.
I'll explain later, okay?
Yeah. But first
Welcome
to this evening's Stop the Story.
I'm here at BAM
to witness the vow renewal
of Gideon Wolfe and Roy Sachs.
But it seems my plus one, Graham Smith,
doesn't have the same respect
for the sanctity of marriage.
- His own marriage to be exact.
- What's going on here?
I'm sure your pregnant wife,
who you are most certainly
not separated from,
would like to know as well.
So, why don't you explain to her
and my followers
why you've been cheating on her
and lying to both of us?
I'm not his wife. I'm his sister.
Wait. What?
And you're Julien Calloway.
What have you done, Graham?
Ladies and gentlemen,
please take your seats.
See? It all worked out in the end.
What? The chuppah is wilted.
I told them to keep the lights down
- until the ceremony.
- Roy, what is Sean doing here?
- What? Who do you mean?
- Your ex. Isn't that him?
And Mason and Edgar and John.
All your exes are here.
It's like Grindr at a Quaker meeting.
- Max, I I don't understand.
- You didn't invite them?
Oh, no, no. My mistake.
Must have referenced
an old contact list.
And now they're here to witness
what they could never be
for you. True love.
Ah. I suppose
it wouldn't be a real wedding
unless someone
in the audience felt regret.
All that matters
is that you are both here
to dedicate your love
to each other again.
Nothing can get in the way.
- What?
- NYPD!
- Max?
- Nobody move!
- Max.
- Police!
Everyone stay where
you are and remain calm!
We received a tip
about a drug deal in progress!
What is going on?
- Check that area.
- If I were you,
I wouldn't take a gift bag.
- A what?
- Check those bags.
Swiftly out the doors.
You got the wrong guy.
Remain calm everyone. Thank you.
- This is a wedding.
- Fuck.
- What is happening?
- Max's dads didn't deserve this.
This was just a test.
And you passed.
We make a great team, you and I.
Team? That was not part of the deal.
You and I are done.
Officer, please let me explain.
Proceed to the lobby, please.
Okay. So, if you're his sister,
then where the hell
- is your wife?
- His wife?
- Yes. His wife.
- He doesn't have a wife.
- Sure, not now but
- Not ever. I made it up.
I'm sorry. What?
I wanted revenge.
Revenge for what?
For me.
I used to be a musician years ago.
And your dad
Ashley couldn't afford
legal fees for a civil suit.
But your dad?
All the best lawyers hammering
at her credibility,
her lifestyle, trying to wear
her down. And they did.
I have a baby to plan for now, Graham.
I can't keep fighting a losing battle.
I thought she'd never get justice,
but then I saw you at that Deb Ball,
and I couldn't stop thinking.
He gets away with it,
and his kid's perfect life
gets to stay perfect.
So when we met at the coffee shop
I thought if I could get close to you,
I could find some way to hurt you.
But then I realized
how much your dad hurt you, too.
So, you made up some fake breakup
to your fake marriage
so that you could keep dating me?
Do you see how fucked up that is?
I am so sorry about my dad.
If I could send him
to jail myself, I would.
You don't owe me an apology.
My brother owes you one.
I never meant for any of this
to happen, truly.
I'm sorry.
Hey, in the aisle, this way.
Let's go, single file.
What is it? Just tell me.
My spy at LVMH finally got back to me.
They found out that
your income goes directly
to a conservatorship
under your dad's name.
They couldn't risk having the brand
have any association with him.
You didn't know about it?
No idea.
Come here.
What?
I know that taking that video was wrong.
And illegal and morally corrupt.
Okay. I know. I'm sorry.
This isn't an excuse, but
I'm not the most popular guy at school.
I'm shocked to hear that.
There are a bunch of guys
that shade on me for being a virgin
and worse.
But then we connected,
so I thought, you know,
as soon as we were gonna have sex,
that these assholes at school
wouldn't believe it, so
I turned on my camera right as
No need to elaborate. Thank you.
I fucked up, big time. I know that.
So, I deleted it. It's gone.
So is the experience of my first time.
You took that from me,
and I can't get it back.
- Hallo?
- Wow, you, uh, you picked up.
I guess I wasn't expecting that.
You are my son.
I will always answer your call,
even when you betray me.
What did you expect me to do?
Just just sit around and watch
while you put people's lives
at risk, innocent people?
What am I going to do with you?
Aside from, uh, kick me out of my home
and cut me off? I don't know.
I guess you could, uh,
you could arrange for my untimely death
to silence me.
Don't be so sensational.
No, look, this story will come out.
Will they believe you, though?
I mean, now that you're cut off.
You knew that I would do this,
huh? You, uh
Did you cut me off to discredit me?
You should have paid
far closer attention
when Papa was teaching you
how to play chess, mein Schatz.
You may be able to silence me,
but you can't silence Daniela.
- Hello.
- Hi, Ms. Yuki.
Yeah, please tell me that you found
I take it you didn't see
Daniela Sommer on CNN
taking responsibility
for the Jakarta coverup
- just now?
- What?
It seems you were misinformed.
As much as I would like to help,
there is no evidence
to back up your claims,
Mr. Bergmann. I'm sorry.
Well, I failed you both, colossally.
Max, I am certainly a fan of melodrama,
and this lighting
is really perfect for it,
but I think you're taking this
a little hard.
No. You No, I'm not.
You don't get it.
It's my fault that you guys split up
in the first place.
I exposed things
that I didn't even understand.
No, I
- I broke you guys up.
- No. Things were broken
between us long before you, yes,
maybe carelessly intervened.
We had to go through
what we went through
to get here on this stage with you.
We had to fall apart to put
our family back together again.
You know what we have to do, right?
I was thinking the same thing.
Max, the show must go on.
Let's go.
Dad, Pops, are you ready?
Never been readier.
Vows? Fuck.
- Oh, they're in your coat.
- Oh, it's in your coat.
Thank you.
They look amazing.
I knew you had it in you.
In Love's Labour's Lost,
Shakespeare wrote,
“At Christmas, I no more desire a rose,
than wish a snow
in May's new-fangled mirth,
but like of each thing
that in season grows.”
Pops. Dad.
This is your new season.
At the end of
the day, love isn't about control.
It's about letting go.
It's about being true to who you are
and what you do.
And, most importantly,
loving who you love.
Um, please tell your sister
that I'm sorry.
I never should
have involved her in this.
You only did it because I lied.
This isn't on you, okay?
Despite everything, I still like you.
And I know even saying that just adds
to an already enormous pile
of confusing bullshit,
- but
- I feel the same way.
It's too bad, isn't it?
That two people, against all odds,
managed to meet in this city
and fall for one another
but then
Have too much between them
to ever make it work?
I need to focus on my sister.
Somehow, despite trying
to do my best for her,
I managed to not be there
for her at all.
I know exactly what you mean.
Goodbye, Julien.
If we truly love something,
we should be willing to let it go
Um, hello?
Apparently,
Drew's school wasn't thrilled
to learn about
his extracurricular passion
for videography
and decided to expel him.
My mom's lawyers have already served him
- with an injunction.
- Wait, you
You did that for me?
Even after I pretended to be you?
Oh, it's only natural you wanna be me.
And no one messes with a de Haan,
real or imaginary.
Wow. Well,
thank you so much, really. I'm
It's an unexpected
but welcomed surprise.
- No, really, I'm touched
- You can stop there.
I don't do feelings. Ew.
Okay.
Hey, you.
I feel like we keep missing each other.
Yeah. Yes, we do.
What's up? Are you okay?
Honestly? Not really.
This shit with my dad
keeps fucking with my life.
As much as I wanna put it behind me,
I think I have to face the fact that
it's gonna take a lot more time.
What about you?
I feel like
we haven't talked in forever.
Yeah, there is actually something
I've been wanting to tell you about.
Hey.
You know you can talk to me
about anything, right?
Okay. Well, a few nights ago,
Shan and I went
to this party in Philly.
And while we were there
while also holding
those we love close at all costs.
But, dear followers,
be careful not to grip too tightly.
Minutes ago, local officials confirmed
that the building's
construction manager,
Daniela Sommer, has taken her own
life. Sommer was a German national
and long-time employee of Bergmann
That's a lesson some never learn.
Tightening their grip
around a promise that will never be.
Which is the most
dangerous thing of all.
LED lights? Really?
Did you know that you have
four weak points of entry
and a very pliable super?
I'm here to talk about Gossip Girl.
I still think you haven't
fully realized her potential.
You said I created something
more powerful than ever before.
Correction. I said you could.
You need to do more
than just report stories.
You need to create them.
That is not my mission statement.
I thought you might say that,
which is why I'm gonna help you learn
how to be a true agent of chaos.
I don't want your help.
Fine. I'll go.
Don't worry, I didn't drink it.
But until you change your mind
I'm not like those other teachers.
I don't sting, I burn.
And I would think twice
about that superstore wine.
Or maybe it was your toothpaste?
Don't you love Russian roulette?
Because while
being in control may be an illusion,
spinning out of it is very, very real.
XOXO, Gossip Girl.