Hit-Monkey (2021) s02e06 Episode Script
The Estate
1
[upbeat music playing]
[hip-hop music playing]
[glass clinking]
[huffs, whines]
Uh, it's okay, Monkey.
It's, it's just stuff.
Um, it doesn't mean anything.
-[Monkey whines]
-No, motherfucker,
you lucky that you not on the next boxcar
to Barnum & Bailey.
-[Monkey whimpers]
-Excuse me?
You look in my eyes when I scold you,
you hairy little wreckin' ball.
You killed my vetter, got me tied up,
destroyed my business.
You can forget about coming
to Montauk this summer.
'Cause that's my sanctuary.
You ain't gonna fuck that up.
And then on top of everything,
you leave me for these bitch-ass pricks
without saying a goddamn thing.
-Damn, it's like that?
-[Monkey chitters]
Shut up, clean this mess up,
and get outta here
with your clown-ass friends.
-Get in your clown-ass car
-[glass shatters]
and go to your clown convention,
because guess what?
Your ass is a fuckin' clown.
[high-pitched ringing]
[Monkey screams]
Hey, how are you holding up?
Last night must've been tough.
Bryce said you were close with Akiko.
[Monkey whimpers]
Whoa, look at this place.
Man, oh, man, Annie Lennox
would be having
a field day in here, right?
[glass clinking]
You know, Walking on Broken Glass?
It's before your time.
Uh, hey,
you-you think this is still good?
-[Monkey huffs]
-What, what did I do now?
Oy, it's like everything
I say sets him off.
Well, you know, to be fair,
you are an irritating person,
and you do smother
everyone around you.
Just give him some space.
Yeah, yeah, but Monkey's my pal.
Space is what you ask from someone
you're not into anymore.
Oh, my God,
is he breaking up with me?
-[wings flapping]
-[creature screeching]
No.
-Everybody get down!
-[glass shatters]
It must've been sent by the Shepherd.
How did he find us?
[dramatic music playing]
Why isn't it attacking?
Hell if I know,
but I'ma shoot it just to be safe.
[Monkey chitters]
Wait, he's right.
There's something in its beak.
What's it say?
Huh.
We just got invited to dinner.
[vulture screeches]
-[glass shatters]
-[indistinct shouting]
[Eunice] Damn it!
[wings flapping]
[dramatic music playing]
[airplane whooshing]
[Slyke] [over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.
We're about two hours
outside our final destination,
Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Just a quick reminder,
this is Foresight's private jet,
and up until a couple of hours ago,
it was pure fucking marble.
And we don't know what that's going
to do to our aerodynamics.
So if you need to move about the cabin,
if you need to use the bathroom, shuffle.
You turned this plane to marble,
then back to normal?
-Wow, that's amazing.
-Oh.
So you pretty much have the same powers
as a West Elm catalog?
Well, you have no powers,
because you're a ghost with a micro dick.
Uh
To be continued.
Ghosting a woman.
I'm sure that's a first.
I can't believe the last Alderman
is just some dusty old hippie
hiding out in the desert.
Not a hippie, an artist.
Albert Rinkov, AKA, the Shepherd.
Oh, here we go.
I've seen his watercolors exhibit
at the Whitney.
Not bad for a painter.
Okay, he might seem
like a harmless painter,
but we know better.
The Shepherd is the most lethal Alderman.
He can turn animals
into blood-thirsty warriors.
Which he can control.
So, I'm so glad we've brought a monkey.
[Monkey whines]
Are we sure this is a good idea?
It's the only idea.
The Shepherd has the last relic.
We need the last relic.
So we're gonna go get
the last relic, okay?
Whoa, okay.
[Boone] Look, there can't be
any mistakes today.
We better bring our A game.
This is war.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Just to say it,
-you know it's not too late to bail.
-What?
I mean, we're probably
somewhere over the Midwest,
we could, you know, drop you off
in an Outback Steakhouse,
pick you up on the way back.
No, I want to help.
A-and that's nice, Haruka.
But these guys are skilled assassins
and you're a
A cop who doesn't need a babysitter.
Why are you here?
I thought you didn't even like these guys.
Yeah, well, you know,
Monkey does, so
Hey, Monkey, psst, he's got two twos.
-You can take him.
-[Monkey grumbles]
Oh, and the monkey folds.
[wind whooshes]
I think it's really nice
you're making an effort.
[Buddy] I can't believe it,
my last cleanup job ever.
After this, I am retired,
finito for good.
Well, Buddy,
you're not getting off easy.
This last job is gonna be a doozy.
Gatling really painted the town red.
I'm talking blood, guts, clam juice,
and fat Italians everywhere.
How fat?
Five hundred pounds, and carpet floors.
Very hard to drag.
Ah, come on.
What kind of restaurant has carpet?
[cheerful music playing]
[together] Surprise!
Aw, guys, for me?
Come here, you dumb son of a bitch.
Happy retirement! [kisses]
-[wind whooshes]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[Monkey grunts]
-[Double-Tap] This can't be it.
Where are the iron gates,
the vicious animals?
There's no security.
It's just quiet.
[sing-song] It's a trap.
It's definitely a trap.
[Boone] Hey, hold on, hold on.
[Double-Tap]
He's not letting us off this easy.
[Boone]
Get it together, bros, come on.
Uh, I just wanna state the obvious,
that we're walking into a trap
and we're still following this idiot.
That's the plan, huh?
Yep, you got a problem with that?
How about old Bricey dog handles this?
See, this is why it's always good
to have a ghost around.
[footsteps rustle]
Hope your friend knows what he's doing.
[whimpers]
[footsteps rustle]
Hello, anybody home?
Bingo.
[Albert] I know this desert
like the back of my hand.
Who's this guy talking to?
I know the color of the sunsets,
the growl of the elk,
and the scent in the breeze.
Coral bells and green chilies. [sniffs]
But all I smell is tequila
and fruit leather.
It's all-natural sugar.
[Albert]
It's alright, show yourself.
Come on. I'm sure your boss Boone
is eager to get the staff
and get outta Dodge.
Hey, hold on.
Boone isn't my boss, okay?
Alright, Bryce is Bryce's boss.
Whatever you say, boss.
I hope you brought your appetite.
My wife made a beautiful pot roast.
Holy shit, there's actually dinner?
Wait, you know I came here
to kill you, right?
You wouldn't deprive a man
of his last meal, would you?
[sniffs] Depends on the meal.
[peaceful music playing]
Mm-mm-mm, yes.
I can't remember the last time
I had a home-cooked meal. [chuckles]
Valerie, this pot roast is divine.
Best chef in the southwest.
Oh, stop, but go on.
She's my rock.
A man is the head,
but the woman is the neck that turns them.
Don't forget that, Bryce.
Oh, I probably will.
Too bad your friends didn't have
the courage to join.
They haven't had potatoes like this.
Uh-oh, here comes the tickle bug.
Albert, not in front of company.
Albert, stop. [laughs]
And there goes my appetite.
Oh, isn't he terrible?
You know, Bryce, you remind me
of myself when I was young.
Is that before
you went full Johnny Depp?
[chuckles] I was sardonic like you.
Always thought it was me
against the world.
-Hated people.
-Please, you hated yourself.
Then I met the Aldermen
through various circles,
and they were all
so ambitious, so hopeful.
We thought we could change the world.
We wanted to find the weapons
and use them for good.
Absolve the world of famines
and injustice, hah!
[laughs] Hilarious.
Isn't it? Fortunately,
that fantasy didn't last for long.
Then this one told me to smarten up,
harness that power to get what's yours.
What can I say?
Greed got the best of me,
just as it does with anyone
who gets a chance to play God.
You weren't playing, Albert.
You were God. [kisses]
As will the next people
to wield these weapons.
It's the end of the road for the Aldermen.
And the end of the road
for our friendships.
Once the power divided us,
we didn't stand a chance.
And now I'm getting up there, Bryce.
Power is something that slips away
from me with each passing day.
Well, I refuse to wither away
on the couch watching old Westerns.
Take my advice, Bryce,
don't waste your time.
-[gun clicks]
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, Albert.
You can't stop evil.
It's a disease for which there is no cure.
[laughs]
Oh
Goodbye, Poodle Bear.
Goodbye, my love. [kisses]
[dramatic music playing]
-[gun fires]
-Goddamn!
Uh, Valerie, I'm so sorry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Albert's time may be at an end.
[voice distorts] But mine is surely not.
What in the hell is taking so long?
Yo, your boy's a liability.
A solo act.
Why do y'all hang out with this guy?
-[Monkey groans]
-Bryce isn't all bad.
He tries, most of the time.
Hold on, there he is.
Hey, we should go, we should go.
Somebody fire up the jet,
let's go, come on.
[glass shatters]
My turn.
[wind whooshes]
Shit. Whoa!
[creature roars]
[yelps] Oh, this is a nightmare.
[sword swishes]
Let's get violent!
-[gun fires]
-[Monkey screeches]
[Amara grunting]
[Monkey screeching]
[Amara grunts, screams]
-[creature shrieks]
-[rock thuds]
Hey, shouldn't you be
by the pool at Caesar's Palace?
Shouldn't you be at the buffet?
-Wow.
-[creature roars]
[Amara grunts]
Come on, come on, come on.
[creature roars]
[rock rumbling, clattering]
-Whew, stubborn fella.
-[creature growls]
[Boone grunts]
-[Dot] Faster. Faster [giggles]
-[Double-Tap] Whoa!
Hey, watch the Neoprene!
[gun fires]
-Come on, to the cave.
-[creature roars]
[Double-Tap]
Great, now he's really pissed!
[rock clatters]
[creature roars]
It's so dark in here.
Yeah, kind of romantic, right?
[chuckles] Okay.
-[whooshes]
-Shh, we're not alone.
[guns click]
-[bat shrieks]
-You're gonna wanna duck.
-[gun fires]
-[Haruka yells]
-He's dead, he's dead.
-[bat shrieks]
-[gun fires]
-Now.
And I thought all the gadgets
overcompensated for something.
That's what the guns are for.
Check out all these cool features.
We got night vision, dog vision,
heat vision, targeting vision
[high-pitched ringing]
-[gun fires]
-[muffled] Haruka?
[guns firing]
-[blood spurts]
-[men grunting]
[gunfire continues]
Haruka?
-[Haruka yells]
-[creature growls]
[Haruka grunts]
Haruka, what's gotten into you?
[wind whooshes]
She brought spiders.
-[Amara] We need some help over here!
-[Double-Tap] Alright, let's go, baby.
[dramatic music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
Did I surprise you good, Buddy?
Oh, you got me good, Iris.
Well, life's full of surprises.
Oh, God.
Like when I was a kid, my dad left us,
and my mom and I had
to clean up his mess.
-Yeah.
-But now,
I'm an adult woman and what do I do?
I take a job
as his professional cleaner,
and I kind of love it?
I mean, what's that say about me?
Am I emotionally dumping on you?
Yeah, you're getting spit
all over my face.
Oh, my God,
this is my song!
[upbeat techno music playing]
Hit 'em with the ♪
Hit 'em with the beat ♪
♪♪
Turn up the party ♪
Hit 'em with the ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm
in the face ♪
All night feels good ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm in the face,
with the rhythm ♪
All night ♪
With the rhythm,
with the rhythm, with the ♪
All night ♪
With the rhythm,
with the rhythm, with the ♪
All night, feels good ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm
and the beat ♪
Like father, like daughter.
What'd you say to me?
I am nothing like him,
I you got that?
Calm your ass down.
I stick around.
Who wants a shot?
I'm buying!
I thought it was an open bar.
-It is.
-Oh, good.
[guns firing]
Kill them.
[creature roars]
-[gun fires]
-[rock crumbles]
[grunts] Huh?
[heartbeat throbbing]
[high-pitched ringing]
[Monkey shrieking]
Oh, darling, you cannot fight me.
I'm already inside
that little brain of yours,
driving your every action.
[Monkey whimpers]
These powers don't work on humans
because they've abandoned
their true nature.
But animals,
animals can't fight their urges.
They are who they are.
Return to your natural state, Monkey.
Give over to your true self.
Be primal, be violent
kill!
Oh, wait, here's an idea.
[Amara groans]
[Amara]
Bryce, what the hell are you doing?
[Amara yells]
[creature growls]
Woo-hoo, yeah!
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Are you not entertained?
[spits] Such an asshole.
[magic fizzles]
[Double-Tap]
Goddamn.
[Slyke] God, I hate spiders.
Monkey, are you alright?
-[ominous music playing]
-[gun clatters]
Hey, buddy.
[Valerie] Now, my new friend.
Go show them how powerful you truly are.
-[Monkey roars]
-[cloth rips]
[roars]
[fists thump]
Oh, shit.
-Run, run, run.
-[footsteps thudding]
[dramatic music playing]
[Monkey roars]
We need to start defending
ourselves against Monkey.
No, we can't hurt him.
I'm with Slyke. Monkey's expendable.
I mean, do we really need two gun guys?
[wall crumbles]
Monkey!
[Monkey roars]
[rumbling]
Dude, will you just relax?
Dot, mind control him now.
No, no, no, no, I can talk to him.
Hey, Monkey, Monkey.
It's me, Bryce, your buddy.
Remember Tokyo?
We're the dynamic duo,
like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
or Pamela Anderson
and that red bathing suit.
You used to be my other half.
I miss that.
-[Monkey huffs]
-[Bryce grunting]
Please just come back to me, okay?
I want us to be a tribe again.
[somber music playing]
-[Monkey roars]
-No, Monkey, don't do it!
Oh! Oh, shit.
[grunting]
-[power thrumming]
-Monkey, listen.
-Come on, dude.
-Obey!
[Monkey roars]
Boone!
That's it.
I will not let you hurt him.
We have to do something.
We can't just sit here.
[Boone grunts]
I know what it's like
for people to treat you
like you're disposable,
like you don't have feelings.
Okay, thanks for
the geology tour, pal, but
I'm sorry that people are so selfish,
but there's no point in living
your life to serve them.
They wouldn't do the same for you.
Not the Shepherd,
not his wife, and not Bryce.
[Monkey huffs]
Stop giving yourself away
until there's nothing left.
Take back ownership of yourself.
[Monkey roars]
Boone!
[Monkey whines]
Boone.
What are you waiting for,
you stupid monkey, kill them!
[staff thuds]
[Monkey roars]
What the hell are you [yells]
-[Monkey vocalizes]
-[Valerie thuds]
[blood splatters]
[dramatic music playing]
[music fades]
-[Monkey whimpers]
-It's okay.
This will be the last life
you ever have to take.
The final relic.
-[snoring]
-[upbeat music playing]
[Buddy]
There she is.
You really put your foot
in your mouth last night.
Oh, God, what did I say?
Oh, no, we made a bet
that you couldn't fit
your foot in your mouth.
I'm out 20 bucks.
Ow, ow. Oh, it hurts to laugh.
I can't believe
your friends are letting you
clean up your own retirement party.
Ah, I love cleaning.
Besides a job with no dead bodies,
this is as good as an ice cream sundae.
You know, you were talking
about your dad last night.
You were pretty hard on him.
Well, I
So what?
He deserves it.
Well, yeah.
Look, I know your dad's no angel,
but not everything is black and white.
The world isn't full
of good guys and bad guys.
Okay, but there's a lot of pretty bad guys
and he is one of them.
You know, I was going
through a pretty rocky divorce
about 10 years ago.
I thought my life was over.
But you know what got me
out of bed every day?
-Pills?
-Pills.
And your dad.
He'd stay after his hits
and keep me company.
It's like we could be lonely together.
He showed up for me
when I needed it most.
I'm I'm
It's okay, you can say it.
[Iris gags, retches]
Allow me, madame.
-[cork pops]
-[upbeat music playing]
Let's party, baby!
Any sport you do alone ♪
Better trust a fuel
you can bring from home ♪
Recess got 30 minutes ♪
Let me get lost
and get right back in it ♪
Try jumping rope
a game you lose tooth ♪
Hopscotch, I got ♪
[Double-Tap laughs]
Jump back, yeah,
tell 'em what to do ♪
And I think I, think I ♪
Oh, dude, wasn't that crazy
back there?
It's like we were on the same wavelength.
Tomorrow, we will go to the vault
and reforge the final relic.
But tonight, we celebrate.
Hey, I'm proud of you.
[Monkey vocalizes]
Hey, we need to talk.
Uh, yeah, we do.
Look at all this
bottom-shelf liquor they got.
What the hell is this?
Very Good Wodka Yes?
No, about Santa Fe.
I saw something in the cave
with Double-Tap.
Oh, my God, did he, uh,
[whispers] expose himself?
What? No!
Look, he was showing me
his night vision goggles.
And there was this heat vision mode
that made his eyes glow yellow.
You mind helping me
get there, Nancy Drew?
The same yellow eyes I saw in Tokyo
the night my entire precinct was murdered.
So, I mean, what about the Aldermen?
Their eyes glow yellow too.
But the Aldermen don't fight with guns.
Double-Tap does.
These aren't the good guys
we thought they were.
They killed 20 cops to get that sword.
Damn, that's just plain evil.
-I think we need to tell Monkey.
-Uh, no, you don't wanna do that.
No, the Kool-Aid has
been sipped, my friend.
He's not one of us anymore.
He's one of them.
You're right, but we need
to do something, soon.
Who knows what they're planning?
Got any ideas?
[dramatic music playing]
[vault door rattles, clangs]
And this is why it's always good
to have a ghost around.
Oh.
[dramatic music playing]
You, uh, sure you wanna do this?
We don't have a choice.
[zipper buzzes]
[waves crashing]
[engine revving]
I can't believe this van
doesn't have a radio.
Should we play a game or something?
Yeah, yeah, how about guess a number?
-I'll start.
-Quiet.
Oh, I'm sorry, quiet isn't a number.
[chuckles]
I'm just tryin' to lighten the mood.
[dramatic music playing]
♪♪
[upbeat music playing]
[hip-hop music playing]
[glass clinking]
[huffs, whines]
Uh, it's okay, Monkey.
It's, it's just stuff.
Um, it doesn't mean anything.
-[Monkey whines]
-No, motherfucker,
you lucky that you not on the next boxcar
to Barnum & Bailey.
-[Monkey whimpers]
-Excuse me?
You look in my eyes when I scold you,
you hairy little wreckin' ball.
You killed my vetter, got me tied up,
destroyed my business.
You can forget about coming
to Montauk this summer.
'Cause that's my sanctuary.
You ain't gonna fuck that up.
And then on top of everything,
you leave me for these bitch-ass pricks
without saying a goddamn thing.
-Damn, it's like that?
-[Monkey chitters]
Shut up, clean this mess up,
and get outta here
with your clown-ass friends.
-Get in your clown-ass car
-[glass shatters]
and go to your clown convention,
because guess what?
Your ass is a fuckin' clown.
[high-pitched ringing]
[Monkey screams]
Hey, how are you holding up?
Last night must've been tough.
Bryce said you were close with Akiko.
[Monkey whimpers]
Whoa, look at this place.
Man, oh, man, Annie Lennox
would be having
a field day in here, right?
[glass clinking]
You know, Walking on Broken Glass?
It's before your time.
Uh, hey,
you-you think this is still good?
-[Monkey huffs]
-What, what did I do now?
Oy, it's like everything
I say sets him off.
Well, you know, to be fair,
you are an irritating person,
and you do smother
everyone around you.
Just give him some space.
Yeah, yeah, but Monkey's my pal.
Space is what you ask from someone
you're not into anymore.
Oh, my God,
is he breaking up with me?
-[wings flapping]
-[creature screeching]
No.
-Everybody get down!
-[glass shatters]
It must've been sent by the Shepherd.
How did he find us?
[dramatic music playing]
Why isn't it attacking?
Hell if I know,
but I'ma shoot it just to be safe.
[Monkey chitters]
Wait, he's right.
There's something in its beak.
What's it say?
Huh.
We just got invited to dinner.
[vulture screeches]
-[glass shatters]
-[indistinct shouting]
[Eunice] Damn it!
[wings flapping]
[dramatic music playing]
[airplane whooshing]
[Slyke] [over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
this is your captain speaking.
We're about two hours
outside our final destination,
Santa Fe, New Mexico.
Just a quick reminder,
this is Foresight's private jet,
and up until a couple of hours ago,
it was pure fucking marble.
And we don't know what that's going
to do to our aerodynamics.
So if you need to move about the cabin,
if you need to use the bathroom, shuffle.
You turned this plane to marble,
then back to normal?
-Wow, that's amazing.
-Oh.
So you pretty much have the same powers
as a West Elm catalog?
Well, you have no powers,
because you're a ghost with a micro dick.
Uh
To be continued.
Ghosting a woman.
I'm sure that's a first.
I can't believe the last Alderman
is just some dusty old hippie
hiding out in the desert.
Not a hippie, an artist.
Albert Rinkov, AKA, the Shepherd.
Oh, here we go.
I've seen his watercolors exhibit
at the Whitney.
Not bad for a painter.
Okay, he might seem
like a harmless painter,
but we know better.
The Shepherd is the most lethal Alderman.
He can turn animals
into blood-thirsty warriors.
Which he can control.
So, I'm so glad we've brought a monkey.
[Monkey whines]
Are we sure this is a good idea?
It's the only idea.
The Shepherd has the last relic.
We need the last relic.
So we're gonna go get
the last relic, okay?
Whoa, okay.
[Boone] Look, there can't be
any mistakes today.
We better bring our A game.
This is war.
-Hey.
-Hi.
Just to say it,
-you know it's not too late to bail.
-What?
I mean, we're probably
somewhere over the Midwest,
we could, you know, drop you off
in an Outback Steakhouse,
pick you up on the way back.
No, I want to help.
A-and that's nice, Haruka.
But these guys are skilled assassins
and you're a
A cop who doesn't need a babysitter.
Why are you here?
I thought you didn't even like these guys.
Yeah, well, you know,
Monkey does, so
Hey, Monkey, psst, he's got two twos.
-You can take him.
-[Monkey grumbles]
Oh, and the monkey folds.
[wind whooshes]
I think it's really nice
you're making an effort.
[Buddy] I can't believe it,
my last cleanup job ever.
After this, I am retired,
finito for good.
Well, Buddy,
you're not getting off easy.
This last job is gonna be a doozy.
Gatling really painted the town red.
I'm talking blood, guts, clam juice,
and fat Italians everywhere.
How fat?
Five hundred pounds, and carpet floors.
Very hard to drag.
Ah, come on.
What kind of restaurant has carpet?
[cheerful music playing]
[together] Surprise!
Aw, guys, for me?
Come here, you dumb son of a bitch.
Happy retirement! [kisses]
-[wind whooshes]
-[dramatic music playing]
-[Monkey grunts]
-[Double-Tap] This can't be it.
Where are the iron gates,
the vicious animals?
There's no security.
It's just quiet.
[sing-song] It's a trap.
It's definitely a trap.
[Boone] Hey, hold on, hold on.
[Double-Tap]
He's not letting us off this easy.
[Boone]
Get it together, bros, come on.
Uh, I just wanna state the obvious,
that we're walking into a trap
and we're still following this idiot.
That's the plan, huh?
Yep, you got a problem with that?
How about old Bricey dog handles this?
See, this is why it's always good
to have a ghost around.
[footsteps rustle]
Hope your friend knows what he's doing.
[whimpers]
[footsteps rustle]
Hello, anybody home?
Bingo.
[Albert] I know this desert
like the back of my hand.
Who's this guy talking to?
I know the color of the sunsets,
the growl of the elk,
and the scent in the breeze.
Coral bells and green chilies. [sniffs]
But all I smell is tequila
and fruit leather.
It's all-natural sugar.
[Albert]
It's alright, show yourself.
Come on. I'm sure your boss Boone
is eager to get the staff
and get outta Dodge.
Hey, hold on.
Boone isn't my boss, okay?
Alright, Bryce is Bryce's boss.
Whatever you say, boss.
I hope you brought your appetite.
My wife made a beautiful pot roast.
Holy shit, there's actually dinner?
Wait, you know I came here
to kill you, right?
You wouldn't deprive a man
of his last meal, would you?
[sniffs] Depends on the meal.
[peaceful music playing]
Mm-mm-mm, yes.
I can't remember the last time
I had a home-cooked meal. [chuckles]
Valerie, this pot roast is divine.
Best chef in the southwest.
Oh, stop, but go on.
She's my rock.
A man is the head,
but the woman is the neck that turns them.
Don't forget that, Bryce.
Oh, I probably will.
Too bad your friends didn't have
the courage to join.
They haven't had potatoes like this.
Uh-oh, here comes the tickle bug.
Albert, not in front of company.
Albert, stop. [laughs]
And there goes my appetite.
Oh, isn't he terrible?
You know, Bryce, you remind me
of myself when I was young.
Is that before
you went full Johnny Depp?
[chuckles] I was sardonic like you.
Always thought it was me
against the world.
-Hated people.
-Please, you hated yourself.
Then I met the Aldermen
through various circles,
and they were all
so ambitious, so hopeful.
We thought we could change the world.
We wanted to find the weapons
and use them for good.
Absolve the world of famines
and injustice, hah!
[laughs] Hilarious.
Isn't it? Fortunately,
that fantasy didn't last for long.
Then this one told me to smarten up,
harness that power to get what's yours.
What can I say?
Greed got the best of me,
just as it does with anyone
who gets a chance to play God.
You weren't playing, Albert.
You were God. [kisses]
As will the next people
to wield these weapons.
It's the end of the road for the Aldermen.
And the end of the road
for our friendships.
Once the power divided us,
we didn't stand a chance.
And now I'm getting up there, Bryce.
Power is something that slips away
from me with each passing day.
Well, I refuse to wither away
on the couch watching old Westerns.
Take my advice, Bryce,
don't waste your time.
-[gun clicks]
-Whoa, whoa, whoa, easy, Albert.
You can't stop evil.
It's a disease for which there is no cure.
[laughs]
Oh
Goodbye, Poodle Bear.
Goodbye, my love. [kisses]
[dramatic music playing]
-[gun fires]
-Goddamn!
Uh, Valerie, I'm so sorry.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Albert's time may be at an end.
[voice distorts] But mine is surely not.
What in the hell is taking so long?
Yo, your boy's a liability.
A solo act.
Why do y'all hang out with this guy?
-[Monkey groans]
-Bryce isn't all bad.
He tries, most of the time.
Hold on, there he is.
Hey, we should go, we should go.
Somebody fire up the jet,
let's go, come on.
[glass shatters]
My turn.
[wind whooshes]
Shit. Whoa!
[creature roars]
[yelps] Oh, this is a nightmare.
[sword swishes]
Let's get violent!
-[gun fires]
-[Monkey screeches]
[Amara grunting]
[Monkey screeching]
[Amara grunts, screams]
-[creature shrieks]
-[rock thuds]
Hey, shouldn't you be
by the pool at Caesar's Palace?
Shouldn't you be at the buffet?
-Wow.
-[creature roars]
[Amara grunts]
Come on, come on, come on.
[creature roars]
[rock rumbling, clattering]
-Whew, stubborn fella.
-[creature growls]
[Boone grunts]
-[Dot] Faster. Faster [giggles]
-[Double-Tap] Whoa!
Hey, watch the Neoprene!
[gun fires]
-Come on, to the cave.
-[creature roars]
[Double-Tap]
Great, now he's really pissed!
[rock clatters]
[creature roars]
It's so dark in here.
Yeah, kind of romantic, right?
[chuckles] Okay.
-[whooshes]
-Shh, we're not alone.
[guns click]
-[bat shrieks]
-You're gonna wanna duck.
-[gun fires]
-[Haruka yells]
-He's dead, he's dead.
-[bat shrieks]
-[gun fires]
-Now.
And I thought all the gadgets
overcompensated for something.
That's what the guns are for.
Check out all these cool features.
We got night vision, dog vision,
heat vision, targeting vision
[high-pitched ringing]
-[gun fires]
-[muffled] Haruka?
[guns firing]
-[blood spurts]
-[men grunting]
[gunfire continues]
Haruka?
-[Haruka yells]
-[creature growls]
[Haruka grunts]
Haruka, what's gotten into you?
[wind whooshes]
She brought spiders.
-[Amara] We need some help over here!
-[Double-Tap] Alright, let's go, baby.
[dramatic music playing]
[upbeat music playing]
Did I surprise you good, Buddy?
Oh, you got me good, Iris.
Well, life's full of surprises.
Oh, God.
Like when I was a kid, my dad left us,
and my mom and I had
to clean up his mess.
-Yeah.
-But now,
I'm an adult woman and what do I do?
I take a job
as his professional cleaner,
and I kind of love it?
I mean, what's that say about me?
Am I emotionally dumping on you?
Yeah, you're getting spit
all over my face.
Oh, my God,
this is my song!
[upbeat techno music playing]
Hit 'em with the ♪
Hit 'em with the beat ♪
♪♪
Turn up the party ♪
Hit 'em with the ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm
in the face ♪
All night feels good ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm in the face,
with the rhythm ♪
All night ♪
With the rhythm,
with the rhythm, with the ♪
All night ♪
With the rhythm,
with the rhythm, with the ♪
All night, feels good ♪
Hit 'em with the rhythm
and the beat ♪
Like father, like daughter.
What'd you say to me?
I am nothing like him,
I you got that?
Calm your ass down.
I stick around.
Who wants a shot?
I'm buying!
I thought it was an open bar.
-It is.
-Oh, good.
[guns firing]
Kill them.
[creature roars]
-[gun fires]
-[rock crumbles]
[grunts] Huh?
[heartbeat throbbing]
[high-pitched ringing]
[Monkey shrieking]
Oh, darling, you cannot fight me.
I'm already inside
that little brain of yours,
driving your every action.
[Monkey whimpers]
These powers don't work on humans
because they've abandoned
their true nature.
But animals,
animals can't fight their urges.
They are who they are.
Return to your natural state, Monkey.
Give over to your true self.
Be primal, be violent
kill!
Oh, wait, here's an idea.
[Amara groans]
[Amara]
Bryce, what the hell are you doing?
[Amara yells]
[creature growls]
Woo-hoo, yeah!
Teamwork makes the dream work.
Are you not entertained?
[spits] Such an asshole.
[magic fizzles]
[Double-Tap]
Goddamn.
[Slyke] God, I hate spiders.
Monkey, are you alright?
-[ominous music playing]
-[gun clatters]
Hey, buddy.
[Valerie] Now, my new friend.
Go show them how powerful you truly are.
-[Monkey roars]
-[cloth rips]
[roars]
[fists thump]
Oh, shit.
-Run, run, run.
-[footsteps thudding]
[dramatic music playing]
[Monkey roars]
We need to start defending
ourselves against Monkey.
No, we can't hurt him.
I'm with Slyke. Monkey's expendable.
I mean, do we really need two gun guys?
[wall crumbles]
Monkey!
[Monkey roars]
[rumbling]
Dude, will you just relax?
Dot, mind control him now.
No, no, no, no, I can talk to him.
Hey, Monkey, Monkey.
It's me, Bryce, your buddy.
Remember Tokyo?
We're the dynamic duo,
like Matt Damon and Ben Affleck
or Pamela Anderson
and that red bathing suit.
You used to be my other half.
I miss that.
-[Monkey huffs]
-[Bryce grunting]
Please just come back to me, okay?
I want us to be a tribe again.
[somber music playing]
-[Monkey roars]
-No, Monkey, don't do it!
Oh! Oh, shit.
[grunting]
-[power thrumming]
-Monkey, listen.
-Come on, dude.
-Obey!
[Monkey roars]
Boone!
That's it.
I will not let you hurt him.
We have to do something.
We can't just sit here.
[Boone grunts]
I know what it's like
for people to treat you
like you're disposable,
like you don't have feelings.
Okay, thanks for
the geology tour, pal, but
I'm sorry that people are so selfish,
but there's no point in living
your life to serve them.
They wouldn't do the same for you.
Not the Shepherd,
not his wife, and not Bryce.
[Monkey huffs]
Stop giving yourself away
until there's nothing left.
Take back ownership of yourself.
[Monkey roars]
Boone!
[Monkey whines]
Boone.
What are you waiting for,
you stupid monkey, kill them!
[staff thuds]
[Monkey roars]
What the hell are you [yells]
-[Monkey vocalizes]
-[Valerie thuds]
[blood splatters]
[dramatic music playing]
[music fades]
-[Monkey whimpers]
-It's okay.
This will be the last life
you ever have to take.
The final relic.
-[snoring]
-[upbeat music playing]
[Buddy]
There she is.
You really put your foot
in your mouth last night.
Oh, God, what did I say?
Oh, no, we made a bet
that you couldn't fit
your foot in your mouth.
I'm out 20 bucks.
Ow, ow. Oh, it hurts to laugh.
I can't believe
your friends are letting you
clean up your own retirement party.
Ah, I love cleaning.
Besides a job with no dead bodies,
this is as good as an ice cream sundae.
You know, you were talking
about your dad last night.
You were pretty hard on him.
Well, I
So what?
He deserves it.
Well, yeah.
Look, I know your dad's no angel,
but not everything is black and white.
The world isn't full
of good guys and bad guys.
Okay, but there's a lot of pretty bad guys
and he is one of them.
You know, I was going
through a pretty rocky divorce
about 10 years ago.
I thought my life was over.
But you know what got me
out of bed every day?
-Pills?
-Pills.
And your dad.
He'd stay after his hits
and keep me company.
It's like we could be lonely together.
He showed up for me
when I needed it most.
I'm I'm
It's okay, you can say it.
[Iris gags, retches]
Allow me, madame.
-[cork pops]
-[upbeat music playing]
Let's party, baby!
Any sport you do alone ♪
Better trust a fuel
you can bring from home ♪
Recess got 30 minutes ♪
Let me get lost
and get right back in it ♪
Try jumping rope
a game you lose tooth ♪
Hopscotch, I got ♪
[Double-Tap laughs]
Jump back, yeah,
tell 'em what to do ♪
And I think I, think I ♪
Oh, dude, wasn't that crazy
back there?
It's like we were on the same wavelength.
Tomorrow, we will go to the vault
and reforge the final relic.
But tonight, we celebrate.
Hey, I'm proud of you.
[Monkey vocalizes]
Hey, we need to talk.
Uh, yeah, we do.
Look at all this
bottom-shelf liquor they got.
What the hell is this?
Very Good Wodka Yes?
No, about Santa Fe.
I saw something in the cave
with Double-Tap.
Oh, my God, did he, uh,
[whispers] expose himself?
What? No!
Look, he was showing me
his night vision goggles.
And there was this heat vision mode
that made his eyes glow yellow.
You mind helping me
get there, Nancy Drew?
The same yellow eyes I saw in Tokyo
the night my entire precinct was murdered.
So, I mean, what about the Aldermen?
Their eyes glow yellow too.
But the Aldermen don't fight with guns.
Double-Tap does.
These aren't the good guys
we thought they were.
They killed 20 cops to get that sword.
Damn, that's just plain evil.
-I think we need to tell Monkey.
-Uh, no, you don't wanna do that.
No, the Kool-Aid has
been sipped, my friend.
He's not one of us anymore.
He's one of them.
You're right, but we need
to do something, soon.
Who knows what they're planning?
Got any ideas?
[dramatic music playing]
[vault door rattles, clangs]
And this is why it's always good
to have a ghost around.
Oh.
[dramatic music playing]
You, uh, sure you wanna do this?
We don't have a choice.
[zipper buzzes]
[waves crashing]
[engine revving]
I can't believe this van
doesn't have a radio.
Should we play a game or something?
Yeah, yeah, how about guess a number?
-I'll start.
-Quiet.
Oh, I'm sorry, quiet isn't a number.
[chuckles]
I'm just tryin' to lighten the mood.
[dramatic music playing]
♪♪