House Husbands (2012) s02e06 Episode Script

Dad, I'm moving out.
But how can you afford that? Well, she's got a flatmate.
Who? Mr Tuck.
I'm Kane.
I've been looking after your grandson.
Finn's grandad has been diagnosed with stage 2 dementia.
So what happens to Finn? Well, he stays with us until they can find more permanent fostering arrangements.
But they do want to know do we want to take him on full-time.
Well, I think we should.
Everything alright? Justin, please don't be rude to my boss.
You can't put up with that.
Yeah, I have to.
This job is paying for our house.
Sarah.
Hey, Sarah.
Can I talk to you? And you are? I'm Justin.
Nicola's husband.
We've met, at the salon.
And you're following me because? Uh, yeah, the thing is, um, Nicola's been coming home every night stressed.
And, er, see, she's the sort of person, she doesn't like to complain, OK? And I was just wondering if you and I could maybe open up a dialogue about how we can turn this thing around.
I hear what you're saying.
Good.
There's a really simple solution.
Oh, great.
She sacked me.
OK, that's not what I was hoping for.
What did you say to her? Well, we had a chat.
I thought we were getting along.
Hey, maybe this could turn out to be a good thing.
Come on, how many times have you come home and said Sarah's a bitch? I was venting, getting things off my chest to unwind.
I was fine.
Oh! This machine is stuffed.
Babe.
Look, I'm sorry.
OK? What are we gonna do? Figure something out.
We always do.
Come here, OK? Come here.
We'll be fine.
I promise.
Hey, just letting you know that I'm up for more pub shifts.
So give me a call.
You're not serious.
I'm serious.
Rinse cycle.
It works! There's a salon advertising for a cutter in Doncaster.
OK.
OK.
Hey! Good luck.
Thanks.
You're still in my bad books.
Thought so.
Off to school, then? Yeah.
Did you want something? Just about the other night I'm not actually looking for a relationship right now, as such.
I just wanted to put that out there.
Yeah, well, I didn't think we were having one, so it's fine.
Oh, we're not.
Yay! Great.
Yay! Yay.
Yay Er, why is this washing machine still here? We've got mine.
Um, my Aunt Sylvie gave me hers.
I prefer a top-loader.
You don't like my front-loader? No, not really.
That's OK.
We can have separate machines.
Yeah.
It's not like we're sharing everything, you know.
Sharing this and sharing that.
Putting our undies in the same washing machine or having sleepovers.
OK.
Yay.
Yay.
Bastard.
Daddy won a big prize at his work.
Oh, wow.
That's good.
Steady on, poppet.
It's not a big deal.
It's like when you win a certificate at school.
For excellence.
Yeah, it's a, um, Badger Award.
For excellence in a one-off campaign Kane, over here, mate.
In a non-profit sector.
Now, listen, mate, you might be in class with kids a bit younger than you.
That's just how you catch up, OK? Now, Miss Looby, she can come across as being a bit strict.
But deep down, she's really lovely.
Come on, let's go.
Wow, I can't believe Finn copped Looby.
Hello, Finn.
G'day.
Hey! Mr Tuck's being quite friendly.
Poor little bugger got the Terminator.
What, Miss Looby? Oh, no, no, Miss Looby's really lovely, taking him under her wing and everything.
I'll see you, Finn! See? Everything's gonna be great.
Press release.
Goes out after the awards.
"Badger Award recipient Mark Oliver says, "'This award is an acknowledgement of our groundbreaking strategies "'at Data Draft, make us market leader'" Did I say this? You will when you make your acceptance speech.
Which you wrote.
Well, I had to draft something for the press release.
Mark, you're a recipient of a major award.
We need to put this baby to work.
Starting with the Rudolf account.
Are you happy to run with that? Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
If I'm gonna run another account, I'm gonna need extra staff.
So start recruiting.
You're an executive, Mark.
You make decisions, you own them, you move on them.
This is your time, Mark.
Make it work.
So, Lucy's moved in with Mr Tuck.
They on together? No, they're just sharing.
That's what kids do these days.
Nice place, is it? Well, I wouldn't know.
Haven't been over there to see it.
No job.
Don't even ask.
Oh.
Hi.
Eh Nicola.
Left your job? No, just a personality clash.
Oh, Mr Albert.
Oh, please, Kane.
Thanks for coming in.
Not a problem.
Now, then Finn.
How did he go today? Um He's going to need a lot of help.
I know he's a little eccentric.
He's been living with his grandfather.
A few things have rubbed off.
No, I don't just mean that.
He really struggled today to learn his times table, even the simple ones.
He's a little behind.
He hasn't been at school for two years.
He couldn't remember where he was supposed to sit.
Or where he left his pencil case.
It's a new environment.
Ruler, lunch box, bag.
I introduced him to his new classmates and he couldn't remember a single name.
Not one.
First day nerves.
And as far as I know, I'm not his Aunty Lulu.
So, first day at school.
How did it go? Make any new friends? I don't like kids much.
Oh, come on, you must have spoke to someone.
Remember any names? Nuh.
Right.
OK, well, maybe I can help you with your homework.
Let's see - times tables.
What is 4 times 6? I don't know.
OK, there's no problem.
We'll get on top of this stuff in no time.
4 times 6 is 24.
Don't suppose you got to do much homework when you were living with your grandad.
We were down at the TAB most nights.
Or the trots.
Or the doggies.
Right, so, 4 times 6? What did we say the answer was? Can't remember.
It's 24.
It's OK.
There's no rush.
We'll figure this out.
Hey, Finn, who's Aunty Lulu? My great-aunt.
She's dead.
OK, it's just that you called your teacher Aunty Lulu today.
What teacher? Miss Looby.
Look, we just want you to be happy, mate.
I don't like homework.
I can't remember anything.
Finn! I bet a dollar.
How's work going? Yeah, fine.
I'll see your dollar and raise you 20c.
Yeah, my work's going good.
Got a promotion.
Car space.
Won an award.
That's it.
I'm out.
Sorry, Mark, I just I gotta check on Finn, see if he's OK.
Kane, sit down.
The kid's fine.
Tom's taking care of him, mate.
All good.
Yeah, alright.
It's just first day of school, you're gonna get overwhelmed, right? He'll be alright.
You in? Nuh.
Your 20c and up a buck.
OK.
Wow, you are a big shot.
Another dollar! You know why I wear this bragging jacket, Mark? It's because I make the big calls.
I will see your dollar and raise you a dollar.
Confident.
Yeah, they're giving me a PA.
I raise a buck.
You need a PA? Yeah, actually, I'm, er I'm an executive now.
Nicola's out of a job.
Really? That's bad luck.
She's got office skills, hasn't she? Yeah, she's got office skills.
I mean, she'd be perfect in your job.
OK, I'll see your dollar and I'll raise you.
You know that we've got a recruitment agency for appointments.
Oh, you're not allowed to hire your own PA? EA.
If I make a decision, I stand by it, I move on it.
I can hire my own PA or EA.
Er, raise a dollar.
So you could hire Nicola if you wanted to? Yeah, if I wanted.
What do you think? I raise you 20c.
Your 20c, up two bucks.
You're too good, mate.
Yeah! You're too good.
Too good on the night.
Oh, wow.
Look at that.
All yours! This belongs to you now, man.
Big man on campus.
There you go, brother.
Thank you.
You deserve it.
And, by the way, um, Nicola has a lot of experience with admin.
Right, yes, I mean, it's a pretty full-on job.
She'd need to know PowerPoint and Excel and Photoshop.
Oh, yeah, she's all over that stuff.
Um, she taught Excel.
Really? Yeah.
I mean, it's up to you if you want to give her the job or not.
You know, you're the big boss.
Alright, I'll tell you what.
Tell her to, er, come in to work tomorrow and I'll give her a shot.
Cheers, mate.
Hey, er, Lewis and I are going hard rubbish searching for a washing machine.
Wow, you look amazing.
This all happened in the middle of a card match.
What if I turn up and Mark's like No, no, no, of course not, baby.
I feel like this could be the start of something really exciting.
And it is! I want you to go out there and make a statement.
Stand your ground.
I want to see purpose, precision and possession.
Well, that would be helpful if I was playing a football match.
Now, tell me, what do you think of my outfit? Ilove it.
Really? Yeah.
Well, if you like it, then I probably look like a Like a what? A hooker.
Baby, Mark's a mate, OK? He's going to look after you.
You'll be fine.
So good to have you.
It's great to be here.
Well, if I pass probation.
Oh, before I forget, Poppy's hat.
Oh, great.
Yeah.
Pop's been going on about that.
The boys were using it to dress up Angie.
Oh, cute.
So, um, Justin tells me you've taught Excel.
I've I've used it a bit.
Great.
And you're au fait with Office and Keynote and everything, with all your experience? Keynote? The design boys tend to use Keynote a lot.
Right.
I'm a fast learner.
Great.
Well, shall we, um get you started? Yeah.
Did you get her from the recruiting agency? No, she was, um, recommended to me by an associate.
You head-hunted.
Yeah, sort of.
Can you check the wireframes for the social media campaign? The visuals before they've been encoded.
Right.
Once they've been coded they'll be wireframed all up.
Great.
Um, sorry, Mark, I'm just How do you, er How do I turn it on? Just here.
Just there.
Right, the Rudolf account.
Let's throw some ideas around.
Not a single washing machine.
This is crazy.
I was here yesterday.
There was whitegoods galore.
Well Mark.
Look, I need you to be up-front, mate.
Has Nicola ever worked in an office before? Yeah.
Yeah, of course.
Where? Mate, you know, some big corporations.
Um I can't think of the name off the top of my head.
Look, I stuck my neck out for you, mate.
Those office skills that you spoke so glowingly of, they're not exactly glowing.
Mate, she's a bit rusty, you know.
Give her a minute and she'll pick things up.
OK.
Everything alright? Yep.
Yeah, all good.
What's that crap? Look at the detail.
Cute, eh? No, mate, they're crap.
Hello? Hello? Hello.
What are you doing here? I'm always here.
Oh, you too.
What? Here.
Everybody else gets an invite to see the joint before me.
You don't need an invite to see your own daughter, darl.
What are you, royalty? Well, I got that wrong, then.
Anyway, just dropped by to bring you this housewarming gift.
They're lovely.
What do they do? Well, they don't do anything.
You admire them.
Well, I'll be on my way, then.
You want that washing machine? Sorry, it's not mine to give.
See ya.
See ya.
What was that? Finn, I want you to get back to your maths homework, please.
Especially 'cause you didn't finish it yesterday.
Come on, mate, you should be good at times tables.
Heaps easier than getting your head around this form guide.
I'm going for a walk.
Finn, no! You need to do your homework.
Alright, but I want Kane to teach me, not you.
I am Kane, you know that.
Don't raise your voice.
You'll frighten Lulu.
Who? There's a little girl, isn't there? What, Stella? Mate, are you alright? Why is there a chicken in our washing machine? Finn, did you do this? I thought we could have a chicken for dinner.
So why did you put it in the washing machine? I thought I put it in the oven.
I'm sorry.
I don't know what's wrong with me.
Heading - the Rudolf Account.
"The client wouldn't know a good idea "if it hit them in the head.
" Two Cs in 'account', by the way.
David Ah! "They're boring, conservative "and completely out of touch with their demographic.
" David, um, I did some backgrounding on the client.
I just made a few light-hearted observations.
Which would be fine, if your new assistant hadn't copied the client on the email.
She's been here 10 minutes and she's already dissed one of our biggest customers.
I'm so sorry.
Um, have they responded? Well, not yet, but let's all try and imagine what they might say, shall we? Where did you find her? Um, well, she's a friend, actually.
Are you kidding? I didn't hire her because she's a friend.
I hired her because I think she's capable.
In that case, I don't know who the biggest idiot is here.
But I think probation's over, don't you? This was probably a bad idea all along.
It's just Justin led me to believe you were across software and everything.
Well, not only Justin.
I let you believe it too.
I'm really sorry, Mark.
I just I thought that I could wing it.
You know, I'm so keen to learn and have a proper career.
I've been a mum for six years now.
Just being around grown-ups is exciting.
And when the hairdressing thing fell through, I I don't know I could, um I could give you some tips, show you through the software.
Maybe if you did some training you could get a job down the track.
I hope this debacle doesn't ruin our friendship.
No, not at all.
We'll still be friends.
Well, if I could get this printer to work, you'd see that I've typed up my resignation.
Alright, let's have a look.
Er Mum! Mum! Hi.
Hi.
Hello.
Hi.
Hey.
Mum, Mum, is this your office? Where do you sit, Mum? Hi.
How did it go? Good.
I'll, er I'll tell you all about it on the way home.
Come on, let's go.
Come on, now.
Shh, shh, shh, shh.
Er, Nicola Er, Nicola, I'll, um I'll see you tomorrow, OK? Really? Really.
OK.
Tomorrow.
I'll brush up on everything tonight.
Thank you.
OK, say it.
It was a dumb idea to hire a friend.
Maybe a little bit dumb.
You're one of the good guys.
I try to be.
I can't be completely bereft of good ideas.
I am the recipient of the prestigious Badger Award.
Was that a snort? Jealous? Well, they don't just hand these awards out to anyone.
Darling, in my profession, we find saving lives award enough.
Are you gonna come to these awards? I don't mind if you can't but I would hope you'd be up to your elbows in life-saving surgery.
I am so going to try to be there.
What were you thinking telling Mark I could do all that stuff? People talk themselves up for interviews.
People exaggerate.
You lied.
Look, you needed the job.
We needed it.
Besides, Mark's a mate.
He's fine.
You can learn on the job.
Yeah, well, he was about to fire me today.
What? I don't have any of the skills he needs me to have.
It's not just getting him coffee.
There's, like, all this stuff Wait, he was going to fire you? I'm making him look bad in front of his boss.
OK, we're his mates.
He's meant to be cutting you some slack.
What an arsehole.
He's not an arsehole.
He's trying to help us.
I was about to hand in my resignation when you and the kids turned up.
I think he felt sorry for us, so he changed his mind.
He felt sorry for us? Wow! Are you cooking something? Is this for dinner tonight? Oh, no, no.
I'm having someone over for lunch.
Sorry, did you say you were having someone over for lunch? I really want to make something special, you know, make an impression.
Considering my cooking skills, that is going to be a challenge.
What? Um, is it is it anyone I know? Oh, just some guy.
Sweet.
OK, um great.
Yay! Yes! Can you just have a chat with him? Check him out? Of course.
Is there something wrong? I don't know.
I hope not.
I mean, I know he's eccentric but it's more than that.
I can do some tests on his cognitive functions.
That'd be great.
Yeah, no, I think it went pretty well.
OK.
Yeah, alright, I'll talk to you soon.
Alright, see ya, bye.
Mark, I think you'd better read this.
It's about the Badger Awards.
Oh.
I wrote to confirm all the passes were on the door but your name's not on the list.
What? Neither is David's.
They left out the whole company.
The event organiser said we didn't RSVP in time.
Well, can we RSVP now? It's too late.
They won't budge.
Said something about maximum numbers and fire restrictions.
But I'm accepting an award.
I invited the Rudolf team onto our now nonexistent table so we could parade your award in front of them.
What are we gonna tell them? They don't think much of us now as it is.
You're still here.
Um Yes.
I'd written your acceptance speech and everything.
What a colossal waste of time that was.
Sorry, Mark.
No worries.
I could write an email.
Where did you find this recipe? In a recipe book.
It's called Mongolian something.
Sure you didn't, um, skip two pages by mistake? Uh, hi, sorry to, er sorry to interrupt.
I just, um I forgot the mayonnaise.
I need to put it on my sandwich.
That washing machine there, Lucy tells me it's yours.
Yeah, we both have one.
Well, I'd be happy to take it off your hands if it's cluttering up the joint.
Be going to a good home.
Well, that's really up to Lucy.
If she's comfortable sharing a tub with me.
I thought you didn't like front-loaders.
Well, it's not that big a deal, is it? Right, I'll make the call, then.
He's not a bad bloke, that Mr Tuck.
I'm coming around to him.
You're not the only one.
What, Lucy and Mr Tuck? They're totally doing it, obviously.
No.
Use your eyes, darl.
I have to say, it's highly unusual for a patient to present with so many relevant symptoms all at the one time.
Is there something the matter with him? Finn's symptoms are textbook dementia.
He's 11 years old.
He listed the 10 most common indicators of dementia so precisely it was almost as if he'd memorised them off a website.
Which is where he parts company with someone who really does have dementia and struggles to remember anything.
So he doesn't have dementia? No.
Which is extremely rare for an 11-year-old boy.
At least now we know what the problem is.
Problem is, now what do we do about it? Maybe I should go into one of those aged-care facility places.
Like your grandad's in.
Yeah.
And since we both have dementia, couldn't they put us in the same one? Well, that's a possibility.
But, er, beds are really hard to come by in those places.
Mm, there's a really long waiting list.
One day? Maybe one day.
You know what? In the meantime we can visit your grandad whenever you want.
See, the thing is, Finn, Grandad moves into the facility tomorrow and from then on he's going to get expert care.
You don't have to worry about him anymore.
I want to worry about him.
Who's gonna look after him better than I have? It's my job.
So, after living with us for two weeks, he's now decided he'd rather live in an aged-care facility.
That's all he knows.
He's cooked for him, cleaned for him, comforted him when he was confused.
It's like he's never had a childhood.
You're right.
We need to let him know that he can be a kid again.
Have fun.
We have fun, don't we? See? This is fun, Finn.
Righto, guys, what do you want me to move? I've got about 15 minutes.
Washing machine'd be good.
Except we know there's a perfectly good top-loader sitting at Lucy's place.
We're not taking that machine.
You said in the car she doesn't Changed my mind.
Why? I just did.
OK.
Guys, guys, we're supposed to be showing Finn it's fun to hang with people his own age.
We're not his age.
He's been hanging with a 75-year-old, OK? I'm working him down the scales.
So can we just run with it and look like we're having fun? Guys, I've got to get back to work, OK? The whole Badger thing's gone a little bit pear-shaped.
Not that it's a big deal but I just Why do you do that? Why do you keep saying this award isn't a big deal when you're clearly loving every minute of it? Like the corporate wanker you've become.
The what? You know what? If you didn't want to hire Nicola, you could've just said no.
But, mate, don't hire her to make her feel bad about herself.
I was doing you a favour.
Oh, I don't want your favours, Mark.
Well, you seemed to want them yesterday when you conned me into giving her a job she's completely unqualified for.
Oh, you're such a big man, mate.
You win a hand in poker and you think you're something special.
Not that you did win.
What? Nothing, nothing.
We're all having fun here.
I let you win that round.
I was holding, man.
I was holding kings.
Oh, aces! Aces, mate.
We're all having fun here.
Happy faces.
Right, I'm going back to work.
Yeah, good.
That kid's had a lot of upheaval.
There's bound to be adjustment issues.
Just don't overreact, Kane.
Who's overreacting? Justin, you were out of line with him.
Let's just go to Lucy's place and pick up this washing machine and be done with it.
What happened to your mates? Can I go see my grandad now? What's happening? I just got this from the restaurant where the awards are being held.
We're back in.
How did you do it? Oh, you know, precision, purpose, possession.
I made a statement.
I stood my ground.
Powers of persuasion.
Oh, um, we just have to have the next three Christmas parties there.
Fine.
I just had a call from Jack Rudolf.
Said he's been trying to pinpoint the problem with his company for some time and, thanks to us, he's hiring an entirely new sales team to try and bring them more up to date.
Loved the email you sent.
Apparently our honesty is refreshing.
You should join us tonight.
Call me old-fashioned, but I just don't feel comfortable accepting washing machines from blokes that are doing the business with my daughter.
What? Mr Tuck and Lucy are getting it? But you said they were just sharing the place.
Use your eyes.
Oh, here we go.
Justin, you know Harry.
Mr Tuck.
Yeah, yeah, everybody knows everybody.
Great, I'll just, um, go inside and help him out.
What was that about? I think Dad thinks there's something going on between us.
But there isn't.
It was just a one-time thing, yeah? Yeah.
One time was plenty for me.
Come on, mate.
Visiting hours are over.
Finn? I don't want to go.
Who's he? No-one.
When are we going to give it to Mum? Shhh.
OK, come on.
Hey, make sure you don't tell your mum.
What do you think? Wow! You are beautiful.
Really? I'm so proud of you, baby.
Hey.
Hey.
If you really had the best hand, this belongs to you.
Thank you.
I appreciate it.
And, er, congratulations on the Badger.
Oh, thanks.
Stupid name for an award, but it sounds like you deserve it.
Well, I've never won anything before so Let's hug it.
Enjoy yourself.
Thanks.
Alright, my man.
You look great.
OK, I'm gonna go.
Be good for Dad, OK? Bye.
Alright, baby.
Make sure the boys are asleep when I get home.
I can make that happen.
Mark.
Hey.
Looking sharp.
Looking sharp.
Did I remember to give you your acceptance speech? Yeah, right here.
Wow! Where's the wife? Oh, Abi can't make it.
She's stuck at the hospital.
Oh, well.
Shall we? Mate, we gotta go.
OK, I'll be ready in 10.
We don't have 10.
We need to go.
OK.
Thanks.
Have you got your seatbelt on? Er, not right at the moment, no.
Can you put your seatbelt on, please, mate? That car just copped an eyeful.
Mate, put your seatbelt on, please.
Finn? Go and jump in a lake! Not coming out, is he? I've been told to go jump in a lake six times.
I don't know what to do.
It's too big of a wrench from his old life to this one.
He will get there.
Maybe we can meet him halfway.
And since we're asking Finn to take on a number of traditions that we have in this house We think it's only fair to take on some of the traditions that Finn has grown up with.
In Finn's house, he and his grandpa would normally have their dinner in front of the TV.
So, starting tonight, er, once a week, on a Thursday, which - oh! - just happens to be tonight Now, this is living.
Yep.
Sure is.
Caught stealing, these shoplifters will do anything to escape, from wielding weapons to lashing out in violent attacks Young people these days.
Mm.
Yummy.
You right, Finn? Ooh! In a one-off campaign for the not-for-profit sector, this year's Badger Award goes to Mark Oliver from Data Draft Incorporated.
Thank you.
Er, thank you very much.
I've, um, got a speech.
This award is an acknowledgement that our groundbreaking strategies at Data Draft make us market leaders in not only one-off campaigns in the not-for-profit sector but across the board in all aspects of marketing on a global Uh, but honestly, there's only one person I'd like to thank tonight and that's my beautiful wife, Abi, the love of my life, who's always there for me, even when she isn't.
I love you.
First load.
I, er I don't like the dogs.
First my machine, now the dogs.
Maybe they'll grow on you.
It feels like your dad's watching me.
And that's a problem because? Better? Yeah.
Oh.
Thanks, mate.
Cheers.
We're out of here, right? Back to mine for port and cheese.
Er Yeah, you should go.
You sure? Yeah, yeah.
I've got to say this - you saved the day.
Nobody but Mark Oliver could've pulled a table out of the hat when all seemed lost.
I just pulled a few strings, you know how it is.
Nicola, you coming back to mine for some port? Oh, um, no.
Thank you.
I should get home to the family.
Goodnight.
What? What is it? It was Nicola who sorted the table.
I should've said something.
Oh, deal with it tomorrow.
She'll be fine.
Go have your port with David and Gemma and I will look after Nicola.
Now, give me your Badger.
I'm gonna take him home.
Until the real Mr Badger makes it home later.
Well, did you have a good night? Yeah, it was great.
I think I make a good marketing exec.
Mmm.
So, do you seriously call Mark's, you know, Mr Badger? Not until now I haven't.
I'm confused, though.
What is a badger? They're black and white and they burrow.
Why? What do you call Justin's? Do you remember Mr Squiggle? Oh, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop! Hard rubbish! There's a washing machine right there.
Get out and take a look at it.
Excuse me, I'm not exactly dressed for scavenging.
Come on, get out and have a look at it.
If it's any good, we can send Mr Squiggle to get it in the morning.
Why am I doing this? Go.
Go and have a look.
Come on, before someone else takes it.
Oh, my God! Nicola! Nicola!