iCarly s02e06 Episode Script

Merry Christmas.
- On comet.
- On stupid.
- On donkey.
- On blitzberg.
- Blitzberg? - What? A reindeer can't be Jewish? Okay.
Last week, we asked you guys to pick which costume Freddie should wear for this Christmas show.
A l lot of you guys voted for Santa claus.
And a bunch of you guys voted for elf, but the winner - by far - was - flashlight.
Whoo.
Give me the camera.
I don't wanna do this.
Go out there.
- I'm embarrassed - go.
- I don't wanna - come on.
Go on.
Come on.
Ladies and gentlemen, Freddie, the Christmas flashlight.
Switch to the b-cam.
Switching.
Wow, Freddie.
That is an amazing flashlight costume.
Yeah, yeah.
And look, it actually works.
You don't even wanna know where the batteries go.
Ho ho ho.
Can I walk away now? After you wish everyone a merry Christmas.
I wish you all a merry oh! Too slow.
- Switch to the a-cam, Mr.
Flashlight.
Hurry so we can say our Christmas goodbyes.
Bye.
Merry Christmas.
Yes.
Oh, yes.
Jingle.
Bells.
Love you all.
Bye.
And we be clear.
Okay.
You stay here and help Freddie get out of his flashlight costume.
Where are you going? To see if Spencer got our tree.
Okay.
Let's get you out of that thing.
Here, lie down.
Um, good? You're fine.
You're good.
Straight down? Whoa.
You're good.
Ohh! Well, goodbye.
Sam, Sam.
Wait, Sam, you're supposed to help me get out of this.
Oh! Unh! In five, four, three, two ♫ I know, you see ♫ ♫ somehow the world ♫ ♫ will change for me ♫ ♫ and be so wonderful ♫ ♫ live life, breathe air ♫ ♫ I know somehow ♫ ♫ we're gonna get there ♫ ♫ and feel so wonderful ♫ ♫ it's all for real ♫ ♫ I'm telling you ♫ ♫ just how I feel ♫ ♫ so wake up the members ♫ ♫ of my nation ♫ ♫ it's your time to be ♫ ♫ there's no chance ♫ ♫ unless you take one ♫ ♫ every time you see ♫ ♫ the brighter side ♫ ♫ of every situation ♫ ♫ some things are meant to be ♫ ♫ so give it your best ♫ ♫ and leave the rest to me ♫ ♫ leave it all to me ♫ ♫ (leave it all to me) ♫ ♫ leave it to all to me ♫ ♫ just leave it all to me ♫ just keep walking.
Just show me the tree.
Oh, you wanna see the tree? Does little Carly Shay wanna see her Christmas tree? Yeah, she does.
It's right in front of you.
What? Don't you love it? You can't not love it.
Don't you love it? It's cool, but I thought we were gonna get a real Christmas tree this year.
We were, but then I was at the junkyard looking for art supplies, and I got the idea for this.
It's a magna tree.
Magna? Yeah.
It's rigged with a dangerously large electromagnet.
Sam, come check out our magnetic Christmas tree.
Magnetic? He made it instead of getting us a real Christmas tree.
Here, watch.
First, I activate.
And now keys.
Yeah? Whoops, time for cheese.
I thought you loved my sculptures.
I do.
It's just I wanted a Christmas tree that smells like Christmas.
This smells like junk.
And yard.
You'll be happy once we put ornaments on it, put presents all around it.
Did you wrap any yet? Yeah.
They're up in my room.
Go get 'em.
Okay.
Hah.
Hi.
Hey.
Hey, you were supposed to help me get out of that flashlight costume.
Yeah, I'm supposed to do a lot of things that never happen.
Hey, you know what'll make you feel better? What? Sticking a hammer to a magnetic Christmas tree.
Yeah, that's always a good time.
Hi, sorry to barge Freddie, give me that.
You know I don't like you handling tools.
Mom.
Let's go.
Come on.
I'm trying to live my life.
If somebody wants to get to the mall in time to sit on somebody's lap and tell somebody what he wants for Christmas, somebody better hurry up.
Aw, is widdle fweddie goin' to see Santa claus? No.
Let's go.
I tried to keep it vague.
Well, it didn't work.
Well, I better head out.
Tell Carly I'll text her.
Where are you going? Home.
My mom bought a new tv.
Cool.
Are you guys gonna hook it up? Nah.
We're gonna beat the old one with a baseball bat.
Oh, it's christmastime? Carly! Carly! Oh, you're closed.
Aagh! Whoa! Oh! Oh, this is this is so bad.
Ah.
Ah.
What's going oh, my God! Put it out, put it out! I'm trying! Just shut off the smoke alarm.
Okay.
Wait.
How do I turn off the smoke alarm? Use the pineapple.
Aah! Yeah, there's a fire.
We know.
Shut up.
Is it out? Yeah.
Pretty much.
Ah.
Oh, oh.
Oh, man.
Do you know how much time and money I spent on these presents? - I guess the electromagnet - Why couldn't you have just gotten a regular tree, one that didn't set all the presents on fire? I wish you'd been born normal! At least I have you, little normal tree, but you're not very big.
What's so great about being big? Who said that? That was me.
Okay.
And who are you? The name's Mitch.
Aah! Ooh.
Someone's a little jumpy.
You better get out of here or I'll call the cops.
Come on.
You don't wanna call the cops on your Christmas angel.
I mean it.
You better leave.
My brother is a a sculptor.
Carly, Carly, Carly, relax.
How do you know my name? I told you.
I'm an angel.
I'm here to earn my wings.
Oh, you're an angel? That's right.
So you're, like, magical? On a good day.
Okay, prove it.
Prove you're magical.
All right.
Here we go.
Pick a card.
King of clubs.
So? Anyone can do card tricks.
Look at it.
He's not kidding.
He's really an angel.
Aah! Hey.
It's okay.
I'm here to make your wish come True.
What wish? What just happened? He was born normal.
You're you're screwy, that's what you are.
I'm calling the cops.
And when they get here hey.
Mitch? Mitch.
Screwy.
What happened to our apartment? Right.
Let's just get Mr.
Schneider and Mr.
Newman into a room together and I'm sure we can settle this dispute without going to court.
I'll call you later.
Come.
I brought you some antacid tablets.
Oh, thank you.
The stress down at the office has really been upsetting my stomach.
Spencer was born normal just like you wished for.
Aah! Carly.
Are you all right? Why did you scream? Is something wrong? Yeah, something's wrong.
This weird guy is - what weird guy? Have you been reading a scary novel? No, I haven't been reading a novel.
Oh, I have.
It's all about a Baker in the 17oos who makes bread for peasants.
I love that book.
It's a charming read.
Well, I better let you get off to work.
I'll see you this evening.
Aah! What's the matter? You really seem out of sorts today.
Yeah.
I just gotta go brush my teeth.
I'll be down in a few.
Okay.
At least school seems like it should be.
Does it? Okay, Mitch.
Now, I don't know who you are or what you did to my life I made your wish come True.
Spencer was born normal.
Okay.
Even if I believe that you could hi, Freddie.
Uh, hi.
Why is Freddie holding hands with rona berger? Rona berger is Freddie's girlfriend.
What? No, she's not.
He hates rona berger.
Everybody hates rona berger.
So what did you get me for Christmas? No, don't tell me.
I wanna be surprised.
No, wait, tell me.
It better be a pear pod, the good one.
- I thought you didn't want a - Maybe you should give it to me right now.
No, don't.
Wait, yeah, do it now.
Okay.
A picture frame? Yeah.
It's digital.
I filled it all up with pictures of us.
I see you every day.
Why do I need pictures? Unh! [groans.]
Okay, I don't get it.
Why is Freddie dating icky rona berger? It all goes back to Spencer being born normal.
It's made your whole life different.
But Freddie's always been in love with me.
He gave up 'cause you have a boyfriend.
I don't have a boyfriend.
I mean, I want one really bad, but I don't have one.
Hey, Carly.
Your boyfriend's looking for you.
What boyfriend? Carly.
Nevel? Aah! Mitch.
Oh.
What happened to our studio? Mitch.
Mitch.
Wow, you say Mitch a lot.
Nevel papperman is my boyfriend? Yeah.
Gross.
Love is a crazy thing.
Hey, I'm not done with you.
Oy, now what? I wanna know why everything in my life is different.
You wished for Spencer to be born normal.
Yeah, I know that.
You were who you were because Spencer was who he was.
You changed him, and that changed your life.
Well, change it back.
Can't do that.
Haven't got my wings yet.
Okay.
What is this about wings? What wings? For an angel to get his wings, he must grant someone a wish that causes unintended consequences thereby teaching someone a valuable lesson.
What? I don't make the rules.
Where's Sam? Why wasn't Sam in school today? Mitch.
I think you better forget about Sam.
Why? Why? She barely knows you.
That's a lie.
Spencer thought she was a bad kid.
He never let you hang out with her when you were little, so you and Sam never became friends.
You're insane.
Sam's my best friend.
We do "iCarly" together every week.
There is no "iCarly.
" Where's Sam? This is the place, the Seattle juvenile detention center.
Sam's here? In juvy? How come - what do you mean I got a visitor? Nobody visits me.
Oh, can it, puckett, and sit down.
Carly Shay? Hi.
What do you want? It's my fault you're in here.
You're the one who called the cops? Dude, I swear when I get out of here - no.
You're in here 'cause I wished for Spencer to be normal.
Who's Spencer? My brother.
He made a magnetic tree that Dude, I barely know you.
You know me a lot.
We were best friends till I made that stupid wish.
We were never friends.
Just 'cause we used to go to the same school, that doesn't make you - okay.
If we're not best friends, then, how would I know that you've slept with two different colored socks on your feet since you were little 'cause you think it's good luck? And how would I know that you're right-handed, but you punch harder with your left? And how would I know that your mom's foot has a tattoo on it? A tattoo of what? A foot.
How do you know my mom has a tattoo of a foot on her foot? How do you know all that stuff? I told you, we're best friends.
What's my favorite color? Brown.
Why? It's the color of gravy.
What's my favorite junk food? Fat cakes.
What's my favorite book? "Boogie bear III: The return of boogie bear.
" What do I hate most? People.
What do I wanna be when I grow up? An invisible ninja.
Wow.
A pear pod.
It's about time.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
♫ La-di-dah-di-li-dah ♫ hello, Nevel.
Good evening, Mrs.
Benson.
Nevel, welcome.
Carly isn't with you? No, I thought she was here.
Oh, my.
Is this ring for what I think it is? Indeed it is.
Well, congratulations to you both.
Thank you.
We were waiting until Carly got here to make the official announcement.
But I guess the cat's out of the bag.
What cat? Spencer and I are getting married.
Aah.
Wow.
Isn't it grand? So grand.
Okay, that's it.
Car aah, my arm.
Make some spaghetti tacos.
What? We're having steamed halibut for dinner.
You hate steamed halibut 'cause it's boring.
You like to make spaghetti tacos and when you make 'em, you sing a little song.
Carly, I only sing songs in church.
Aah! What's wrong with your sister? I'm not just his sister, I'm your friend.
Carly, I think you better calm down.
I don't wanna calm down.
She's crazy.
I heard that, rona.
Can I get you some ibuprofen? No.
I just want you back.
I want you the way you're supposed to be.
I want you to make crazy sculptures and to accidentally set stuff on fire and to wear socks that light up.
And I want you to be single and lonely again.
And I want you to leave the country.
And nobody even likes you.
And I want Sam back.
And I want you to be my friend and say "in five, four, three, two," but not the one, which I never understood but I liked it.
And I just want my life back.
Well, bah, humbug.
Mitch.
Mitch, where are you? Mitch.
I want my life back.
I don't want Spencer to be normal.
I want him to be all abnormal again.
Please.
Mitch.
I want you to take everything back to the way it was Spencer, Sam, Freddie, everything.
Mitch! Oh, there you are.
Hey, did you check out that video I sent of the guy who can fit a whole grapefruit hey.
Hey, are you crying? Just leave me alone.
Um, okay.
But for the next "iCarly," we gotta figure out which video is going up in the first cycle.
"iCarly"? Did you just say for the next "iCarly"? Yeah.
Why are you It's back.
Our studio's back.
Hello, old car.
Hello, beanbags.
Hello, hammer that almost killed me.
It's all back.
Oh.
Whoa, daddy, what is going on here? Sam.
You're out of juvy.
Juvy? What are you talking about? Spencer.
Spencer.
Spencer.
Hey, what's up, kid? Oh.
Hey, what's up with all the squeezin' and squishin'? I missed you.
Our house is back.
Okay.
I have no idea what you're - hey, Spencer, do you want us to help you to take that tree down to the garbage? Yeah.
Just help me stuff into - no.
No one touches this tree.
I thought you hated it.
I do not.
It's my favorite tree ever.
Come on, let's put it back over there where it belongs.
Okay.
Let's go.
All right.
Here we go.
Right in the middle, all right? Okay.
Watch your hands.
Go.
Go, go, go.
Slow.
Slow.
Got it.
Right there.
And to the right, to the right.
A little more.
Keep going.
Okay.
All right.
Right there.
See, that's not bad at all.
It just needs a little love.
Yeah.
You guys help me slam some decorations on it real quick.
Yeah.
Sure.
Oh, I like this.
Oh, wow.
Get in there.
Green.
That's a purple banana.
I love bananas.
Right there.
It complements the tree nicely.
Nice.
I like it right here, sort of near the top.
Right there.
Oh, that's nice.
All right, that looks a little better.
Okay, help me put the garland on.
Oh yeah, yeah.
All right.
Oh, these are so good.
All right.
Here, put this all along.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Okay.
Good.
Thanks, Mitch.
Thank you.
Why thank me? 'Cause if it wasn't for you, I would have never gotten my wings.
Oh.
Oh.
Chicken wings? Merry Christmas, Carly.
Merry Christmas, Mitch.
We gotta make it look good.
Okay.
Wait, wait.
Look back around it.
Wow.
Looks nice, huh? Yeah.
Spencer, you're not normal but you did build a nice tree.