Man Seeking Woman (2015) s02e06 Episode Script

Radical! Whoa! What? Oh, yeah! Nice! Yeah! - Hi, there, Rosa.
- Hey, there, Josh.
Uh, I was wondering if you might like to have lunch with me today.
Oh, I'd love to but I'm going to have to take a rain check because I'm having lunch with my boyfriend.
How was your day? It sucked.
Mmm.
Oh! What is that horrible smell? It could be I just microwaved some curry I cooked.
Please don't ever bring your curry here again.
Sorry, Mr.
Powell.
Look, I know he's technically our boss, but I think you should just curry on, my friend.
Hey, ah? Thank you very much.
Those are words to live by.
Yeah, I think I might have to curry on.
Oh, yeah.
Ooh! Eggplant.
- Mm-hmm.
- Nicely done, sir.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
I used to always put eggplant in my curry.
Cool.
Wait, used to? - Mm-hmm.
- Why? What happened? No, I just, uh My boyfriend doesn't like curry, so I don't really make it anymore.
It's killing me, man.
I am so into this girl, and we're we're We're perfect for each other, but as long as her stupid boring boyfriend is in the picture, there there's nothing I can do about it.
Dude, there's always something you can do.
Like what? I'm not gonna try and steal her.
That's not what I'm saying.
All I'm saying is raise your profile a little bit.
Show her that, should she ever want to make a change, you are a strong, viable candidate for a new boyfriend.
Huh.
So I wouldn't be actively - Yep! - I I'd just be sort of - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Michael, that's very interesting.
Hey, there Rosa; I thought these might come in handy, fresh from the supply room.
Oh, thanks, Josh.
That's so sweet.
Hey, no problem.
- Oh, Josh.
- Can we get a comment? Do you have a comment for News Wire? Listen.
We've noticed you've done a lot of nice things for Rosa lately.
Is there any truth to the rumors that you're running for boyfriend? I don't know where you heard that.
I am more than proud of my current position as Rosa's friend.
Rosa already has a boyfriend, which we all know.
Uh, do I agree with all of his policies? Of course not.
His no-curry policy, for instance, is not one I support.
So, as Rosa's boyfriend, you'd eat curry? I would, indeed, but I'm not here to comment on what might happen in the future.
My focus right now is on being Rosa's friend, period.
Speaking of which, I should probably get back to work.
I have some funny YouTube clips to send her over Gchat.
Wait! One more question, Josh! I'm sorry, folks.
That's all the time Josh has.
He is a very busy friend.
Ahh! All right, guys.
This is great.
We have to do this again soon.
- Josh! Josh! - One at a time, one at a time! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
One at a time! - Guys! - One one at a time.
One at a time.
Uh, Janet.
Josh, are you trying to win favor with Rosa's friends so they'll support you in a run for boyfriend? No, I I That's ridiculous.
As Rosa's friend, I merely like to have the occasional sit-down with other friends of Rosa's, uh, so that I can stay abreast of the issues that are important to them.
For instance, I just found out about some great spots to get salad and about a play that has, like, a deaf guy in it or something.
Did the topic of her boyfriend come up? Oh, Steve.
You're killing me.
I won't lie.
They they expressed some concern that he doesn't hang out with them as much as they would like.
Uh, which is a shame.
These are great people with beautiful stories and unique voices that deserved to be heard.
All right, that's it, folks.
Thanks for your time.
- Just one more - Dude, check the numbers.
Your approval rating with Rosa is way up! Now is the time to pull out the stops and go at this hard.
What does that mean? Got to go negative.
Hey, uh you all good? Um Yeah.
I just I wanted to try this new Mongolian restaurant - Ooh! - With my boyfriend.
And I don't want to be obnoxious and complain about it, 'cause you know he has all of those food things, but we never get to go anywhere new, and it's just It's starting to get really annoying, and Ugh, God! So sorry.
You're so not into this.
It's so fine.
- No, I - It's not a big deal.
You don't have to listen to this.
No, it is; it's about I would assume that's got to be Eventually got to get pretty frustrating.
You know, there's just so much he doesn't eat.
Well, I just I know you love trying every different kind of food, just like I love trying every different kind of food.
So I can only imagine what that would be like.
It's kind of like, how many nights in a row can you have white rice and steamed vegetables? Ugh! Uh, no nights, no nights in a row, - if you ask me.
- Yeah! Yeah, no nights.
No nights.
The Dinnergate scandal rages on with some critics now calling for Rosa's boyfriend to resign.
Presumed boyfriend hopeful Josh Greenberg spoke out about the controversy this morning while on a fact-finding trip in Iowa.
In the America that I know, boyfriends take their girlfriends to Mongolian restaurants, all right? They they Thank you.
Greenberg also sat down with local farmers to hear their thoughts on the issue.
If you were her boyfriend, Rosa'd be a whole lot happier.
I thank you.
I appreciate that.
And there wouldn't be no mosque at Ground Zero.
Hey, Josh, do you have a comment about the mosque? Oh, shit.
Um yeah, I Well, I think I think And a breaking story now.
This just coming in from Iowa.
Josh Greenberg has just received a phone call from Rosa.
I love game nights! That's a big yes, yeah.
I will definitely be there.
Josh Greenberg never bails on a date.
- Josh, Josh! - Did you say date? What does this mean? Josh, can you now officially declare you're running for boyfriend? Hey, folks, all I can officially declare is that I have a game night to attend.
You heard the man.
Back on the Fresh Talk Express! It's morning in America! Hey, Rosa.
Hey, Rosa.
So you guys, uh, game for some games? No, I Oh! All right.
Where do we put our bazaar? I suspect we should put our bazaar relatively close to, say, the caravan, 'cause that way we can trade goats for resources because you and I are very goat-rich.
So I'm glad I'm on your team.
- And I think you are.
- All the strategy! That's exactly right.
Rosa, guess who decided to show up.
Oh, my God! Yes, he came! Holy shit! Hey, hey! Hey! Is she that's, uh Is that Jesus Christ? They met at Dave and Buster's.
He's really cool.
- What's going on? - It's been too long.
I'm sorry it's been a while.
It's been crazy at work! With the lepers? The lepers, you know, other stuff, you know.
- They're really - He cures lepers.
- Oh, good.
Good.
- Oh, hi! - Whoa! You must be Josh! - Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, that's me, hi.
It's so good to meet you, man.
- I'm Jesus.
- Yeah, I know.
I'm yeah, very familiar with you.
Well, I'm very familiar with you.
- What? - You are famous in this house.
You're office manager, correct? I mean, you're Jesus Christ.
- Oh, come on.
- So you're you're You're the son of God and God.
It's so It's so complicated.
- Yeah.
- It took me a while to I don't even understand it.
- Yeah, right.
- When it was explained to me, I thought, "Okay, so I'm the son of God and I'm and " at this point I'm just like, show me where to go and I'll do my job, and out I go.
Believe me, I'm going to game night? What are we doing here? I was thinking on the way, - what about "Celebrity"? - Well, we - You are great! - That's perfect.
We had no, no, no, no, no, no, no! Come on! You did pretty well.
- And you did pretty well.
- No, I didn't.
So why don't we do that.
Write down names of celebrities.
Hey, Josh.
Are you coming? Uh I don't I don't know what "Celebrity" is.
- You can be with us.
- I don't have to.
Uh, you know what? I'll just I'll just, uh Jesus, Rosa and Josh, we're gonna be the dream team, and we're gonna kill these guys.
- JJR.
- Yeah, because you're - JJR, come on! - Yeah, good, yeah, thanks.
All right, guys.
Nothing too obscure, okay? - Uh Elvis.
- Elvis Presley.
- Yeah! - Doing great, Josh.
Thanks.
Uh Oh.
- Oh, Jesus! - You - Oh! - Who did that? - Nate? - Maybe.
That's embarrassing for me.
- I had to.
- It puts me on the spot.
I'm not really mad, but just no more.
No more from now on.
You're, uh, uh, on a wave? Are you California! Surfer! A famous surfer! Do I know any famous surfers? - I think we should pass.
- No, no, no, no, no.
I think we should pass.
Just pick another.
All right, is it a A lady surfer! What? Oh, who are the female surfers? Uh, uh, Michelle Rodriguez.
"Blue Crush!" Michelle Mm "Blue Crush!" - Time! - We are It was It was Keanu Reeves.
Keanu Reeves, Keanu Reeves! Oh! You should have done "Matrix!" - The whoa! - No, he was, you know, he was doing the surfing, "Point Break," right? - Oh! - You do "The Matrix.
" That's that's on me.
That's on me.
So speaking of Keanu Reeves, has anyone seen "John Wick?" - Did you ever seen "John Wick?" - Oh, no! - No, not yet.
- Favorite movie of last year.
- Oh, cool.
- The director did stunt work - for 20 years.
- Oh, cool.
So the action is still- Josh, you would As a matter of fact What? What? - Whoa! - I Torrented it, and Which is fine because I do get the word out on this one.
- Please check it out and - Wow! You don't have to give this to me.
Watch it and then call me, and we're gonna talk about it.
- Thank you.
- I'm serious.
I'm not doing, like, a fake, like, "Call me.
" - I mean, saying, "Call me.
" - Oh, yeah.
'Cause I think you, Josh, are going to like it because I think we have similar taste.
Oh, cool.
Time.
Time, time! - You lose.
- It's it's long enough.
So, uh, if you guys win this round, we're going to play one more game and then Anybody hungry, by chance? Oh, uh, I forgot.
Josh made something.
Chef.
What what is it? It is Josh's famous Mongolian curry, in fact.
Yeah, I know it's a bit exotic.
It may not be to everyone's taste.
It's definitely it's not for the unadventurous.
Mmm, Josh! Is that That's eggplant.
Mm-hmm.
It's so good.
- Very informed palate.
- Is this guy single? She asked if you were single.
Did you hear her? Guilty as charged.
Jesus, would you Would you like some? No, no, no, no, no.
I'm very - You have to.
- I'm very full, very full.
Like I said, it's exotic.
I know it's a big ask, so.
Let me I I'll try Quick question And this is so annoying Is it gluten-free? Yeah, I think so.
You think so or you know so? I know so.
Josh you know so? Yeah, yeah, I know so.
I know so.
- What? - I know so.
Okay.
You got clearance.
That's all I needed to know.
Even when I'm full, I don't mind having a little bit of something that's, um of the right flavor.
- Yeah.
- So why not? There's plenty more where it came from.
Josh - Best thing I've ever had.
- Hey, come on, man.
No, no, Josh.
I'm not kidding.
- Best thing I've ever had.
- He doesn't lie.
- The taste.
- Thanks.
- And the texture - Good.
The texture is Babe! Babe, look at me.
- What's happening? - Oh, my God.
Where is it, babe? Point to it.
Where is it right now? Oh, my God.
I'll get the antacids.
- I what what? What? - Move the bowl.
- Ow! - What? - The pain.
- The pain? What what What is happening? What Josh you betrayed me.
- I'm sorry.
- Ow! Ah! Ow! We should probably be going.
Okay.
I'm so sorry.
You did nothing wrong.
It was it's an accident.
Um What what exactly is wrong with him? He's got flash diarrhea, Josh, and it's extremely painful.
Ah! Oh! Josh, you told him the curry was gluten-free.
I know, I guess I guess I wasn't sure.
If you weren't sure, then why did you say you were sure? I just thought he was being picky.
Oh! Do you hear him? He's in pain.
- Is that Aramaic? - Yes.
See, he's picky because he has to be.
He has Celiac.
That's why he's so thin.
Oh, I am I am so sorry! - R-Rosa.
- Yeah, babe? It's not his fault.
What do you mean? I just remembered.
I had a whole basket of pita at lunch.
Why would you do that? I don't even know what I was thinking.
It was not the curry at all.
Don't worry about that.
Josh, I'm so sorry; I didn't mean to come down on you like that.
I just I was really worried about him.
No, of course, I get it.
Totally, totally fine.
I would do the same thing.
Okay.
I'm so Um, do me a favor? Um, I could use some candles, maybe? - Yeah.
- Um, some air fresheners - Okay.
- In the closet.
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
- Yeah.
- Well That was a good Good game night, huh? Yeah, I would say.
Uh, you know, uh Josh, I know that it was the curry.
Oh shit.
I forgive you.
Thanks.
And I also know that you're into Rosa.
You can read minds.
No, no, no.
It's very obvious.
- Oh, shit! - It's cool.
I still think you're a good dude, you're a good guy, and I still want us to be friends.
- For real? - Absolutely.
Wait, hold on.
You forgot something.
You said you'd watch it, so you have to watch it.
Uh, thank you, Jesus.
Uh, I'll see you tomorrow.
And, uh, thank you for having me, guys.
So no more of that spinny, whirly thing? Yeah, no, there should be There should be very little spinny, whirly thing.
And and I can still get on Facebook? - I - Huh? Yes, yes, you You okay.
Go here, type the word, "Facebook.
" Like, here is Here's mine.
Ooh-la-la! Who's this lovely lass? She's just a girl I work with.
She's quite a looker.
I I she's beautiful, but she also uh has a boyfriend, who is actually a really special person.
- Joshua? - Hmm? Do you mind if I give you some man advice? Uh no, no, I don't mind.
When I first met your mother, she had a boyfriend.
Just like your little lady here.
But I snagged her anyway.
You want to know how? Uh yeah, okay, how? I waited.
Oh, that that's the that's the okay.
So you just waited? Well, I wasn't sitting by the phone, if you know what I mean.
No, what I did was crawl into a cave and fall into a five-month-long slumber.
You mean you hibernated? I hibernated.
I ate twice my body weight in honey to give me a nice, thick layer of fat to keep me warm through the winter.
Then I covered myself with leaves and brush and slowed my heart rate to about 9 beats per minute, allowing me to enter into a kind of metabolic stasis.
In the spring, I awoke and emerged from my cave to see where things were at with your mom.
She was still dating the guy, so I kept waiting.
Huh.
Seasons came and went, your mother seeing other men, me slumbering in my cave, occasionally lumbering out to steal food from campsites that is, until the campers started putting it in these metal containers I couldn't open.
Lord love a duck! And and that whole time, you never had a girlfriend? I had companionship.
What the? But no matter what unspeakable acts I was engaged in, your mom was always number one in my mind.
Then one spring came the worst day of my life.
I found out your mom had gotten married.
No! And I was captured and sold into a Russian circus.
I performed for jeering cossacks seven times a day.
Sergei was my trainer, my friend, and my tormentor.
But then one day I heard that your mom had gotten divorced.
So I escaped the circus, relearned English, and asked her out to dinner.
My plan had worked perfectly.
- Well - Finally it was Tom time.
Thank you Thank you for the advice, uh, but I'm probably not gonna, like, just sleep in a cave waiting for Rosa.
Neato.
Are you boys hungry? Oh, yes.
Mmm-wah! Here we go.
There.
- Oh - Oh, my God! - Oh! - Oh, my God! That's it, that's it.
Okay, all right.
That's enough.
- That's enough.
- More! - Hello, hello.
- Hey! - Mind if I sit down? - Yeah, please.
- Please.
- Okay.
You you were in band as well? - Of course.
- Uh, clarinet.
Yeah, you were.
I was saxophone.
What? Yeah, I wanted to be Bill Clinton.
You wanted to be like Bill Clinton? Yeah, all the nine-year-old chicks want to be Bill Clint.
All right, all right.
Fair enough.
Bill Clint.