October Road (2007) s02e06 Episode Script

We did not get the band back together.
Previously on October Road - You and Janet, huh? - Yeah, me and Janet.
Cool.
You gotta love unbelievably exciting, right? So says the girl who kissed Eddie Latekka.
This idea that Eddie and I had since we were kids, right-- open a store that sold and installed windows.
Telling Owen about me and his wife-- you didn't just blow things up.
You scorched the earth.
I don't got no friends and no job.
The job I can help you with.
You're ruining my business.
I have no idea why.
I'm just getting started, champ.
What's your problem, man? I'm sorry, man.
Who's next? Unfortunately, we don't install dollhouse windows.
Yes, I'm sure, Mrs.
Sokolow.
Well, you keep us in mind if the windows in your life-size house need any attention.
Yeah, sure, I can place the order.
You want green peppers or olives? Look, Aubrey, I gotta go.
I'll stop by Ridge Pizza on the way home.
Okay.
All right.
See you later.
Well, you seem to be on a roll.
Well, there's definitely some unexpected momentum.
I never planned on "us" happening, but I don't know.
- I think Aubrey's great, and-- - I'm not talking about your love life.
Looks like you flew through your half of the phone list.
There's got to be a better way than just ambushing people over the phone.
I'm all about the face-to-face.
- Great news.
- Please tell me that all the people that live in glass houses started throwing stones, - 'cause we're dying here.
- Even better.
My buddy, Lars, who works at public works, says they're renovating the elementary school, and they need new windows-- lots of 'em.
Are you serious? Lars is working on getting you a meeting with the guy in charge right now.
A face-to-face? A face-to-face.
Dude, where are the drums? Next.
I need a job.
Yeah, and I need Sophia Loren, circa but sometimes, we don't get what we want.
- A beer? - No, really, Sully, I need a job.
I've hit up everyone I know.
I've been everywhere.
The truth is, I'd hired you in a second, but what you did to Owen, tearing apart his family like that, There isn't a soul from here to Hyannis that'll take you on, Including me.
I'm sorry.
You want that beer now? Sure.
Put it on my tab.
I gotta respectfully disagree with sully, 'cause you and I both know there's at least one soul willing to hire you.
Come on.
How long are you gonna let them play this home wrecking card, hmm? If it wasn't you, Alison probably would have found someone else somewhere down the line.
Leave Alison out of it.
Always the gentleman.
All I'm saying is I'm here to help.
My offer to work at Cataldo builders still stands.
Big Cat's buyin'.
Thanks, Sully, but no, thanks.
Not bad.
But this time, can you lose the vocals? What vocals? - The bop, bop - Oh, yeah.
- That stuff? - Yeah, sure.
Sam, you want an apple or string cheese? The dining options around here are getting a little boring.
I was just telling Eddie the same thing.
This new french restaurant just opened up in Bishop Flats.
I've been dropping not-so-subtle hints that it'd be nice to change things up.
French, huh? - That's fancy.
- I know.
The restaurant has an outdoor patio.
Romantic, right? Like a sidewalk café on the Champs-Élysées.
That sounds amazing.
Maybe I should drop some hints for Ray.
What? I just think it's funny how you guys are such good friends, and Eddie and Ray are, well, mortal enemies.
That's a little dramatic, don't you think? All I'm saying--it's like you're dating Batman and you're dating the Joker.
Could lead to trouble.
He's right.
Clearly we should just end our friendship now.
Clearly.
And Eddie is way more Batman than Ray.
That is so not true.
Eddie couldn't pull off the cape.
We should all go out on a double date.
You think? Why should we separately enjoy french cuisine when we'd enjoy it so much more if we were together? The boys need to get over their kindergarten rivalry, and we are just the girls to show them how.
We most certainly are.
- It's a date.
- Wow.
Eddie and Big Cat on a double date.
This is gonna be the talk of Gotham City.
Eat your string cheese.
I still think we should lead with the price list.
Nobody can touch us on these numbers.
We're good.
I got it Hello, gentlemen.
- I am Carter Bump.
- Hi.
- Nick Garrett.
- Uh Eddie Latekka.
Thanks for seeing us.
You look awfully familiar.
Well, I wrote this book, "Turtle on a snare drum.
" Maybe you read it.
Remember me from the dust jacket? I don't think so.
I really think you're gonna like what we have to say about the elementary school renovations.
You don't remember me, do you? I'm sorry.
Should I? Imagine me ten years younger, with more hair, sobbing in the wake of an unending stream of teenaged mockery.
Maybe this will help.
I stop by Holly's every morning.
Their baked goods are the best, but these these are my favorite.
Anything? No, but thank you for this cupcake.
It looks delicious.
How about now? Now kindly remove yourself from my office and never come back.
Okay, what just happened? Who is that guy? That was Carter Bump.
I know that.
So? Carter Bump.
The name isn't familiar? Yeah, it's familiar.
Carter Bump-- the head of public works, the guy who awards things like the elementary school window project.
Carter bump is also "the cupcake kid.
" What? The cupcake kid? You remember the cupcake kid.
No way.
- That was the cupcake kid? - That was the cupcake kid.
Perfect.
- Who's the cup cake kid? - Oh, Carter Bump, a.
k.
a.
"the cupcake kid," was a high school classmate of ours who Nick wrote a series of comic books about.
Oh yeah.
I remember the cupcake kid comics.
My favorite was "the cupcake kid meets burger boy.
" That was a classic! Yeah, why the cupcake kid? Oh, well, in the comics, the cupcake kid was a mild-mannered, fat geek who, after downing a plate of cupcakes, would posses superhuman powers which he would then use to fight injustice! - Hence, the cupcake kid.
- Clever.
- You remember the motto? - Ronnie What was it again? Butter, sugar, eggs and flour, - frosting, sprinkles, superpower! - Frosting, sprinkles, superpower! - It's not my proudest moment.
- Found it! Issue number seven.
"The cupcake kid meets double-decker," - and it's signed.
- Burger boy, double-decker? Oh, yeah, and there was "the cupcake kid meets sloppy Joe," "cupcake kid meets jumbo dog," "cupcake kid meets salami Sam.
" - That was kind of a weird one.
- Enough already.
- I feel terrible.
- You should.
That 2-cent comic's gonna cost us a 5-figure job.
I can't believe Carter Bump still holds a grudge.
Well, some wrongs you just don't get past.
Do you guys remember the cupcake kid's motto? Butter, sugar, eggs and flour! Phil, phil, phil! We all remember the motto.
It's fine.
I didn't even get a chance to apologize.
Carter just yelled at me and kicked us out.
I could put in a call if you want.
I know carter from planning meetings and because of the kids.
Why because of the kids? When he's not working for public works, he happens to be "Plumpy the clown.
" - Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
- What? - What's Plumpy the clown? - A clown for kids.
Okay, wait a minute.
He didn't like being called, "the cupcake kid," - but he's fine with "Olumpy the clown"? - Oh, he's excellent.
He did Connor's 6th birthday.
He takes the kids on a magic carpet ride and gives them imaginary parachutes and wacky hats.
Whoa, whoa, wacky hats? Yeah, mine was a octopus made of balloons.
Man, I love that thing.
If you really can get us back in front of Carter, Owen, that'd be great.
- Oh, yeah.
- I'll make the call.
Now that the cupcake kid's secret identity has been revealed who is that? Oh, that's Granger, the band's new drummer.
You guys have a band? Yeah, it's better you don't ask.
What was that for? Consider it a down payment.
On what? Well, Janet was telling me about this new french restaurant that opened in bishop flats, and we thought it would be a great place to have our first double date.
As in you, me, Janet and Eddie.
Hence the down payment.
Janet and I are best friends.
At some point, you're gonna need to-- What was that for? Just thought I'd take a bigger down payment.
- Let's do it.
- Really? I thought you were gonna put up more of a fight.
What for? One dinner with Eddie Latekka is worth a lifetime with you.
Thanks, Batman.
You are still friends with Nick Garrett? Didn't he write some not-too-flattering things about you in his book? - They were just words.
- Words have power, Owen Rowan.
Watch out! See? Words incite action, ruin lives like "the cupcake kid" comics ruined mine.
I don't have a wife no kids.
I am completely unloved.
No love all because of that contemptible comic.
Oh, come on, Carter.
Those comics were ten years ago.
Do you know why I'm a clown, Owen? Because I never smile.
Ask anyone in the office.
The only time people see me smile is when I have one painted on.
Truth is, I haven't smiled since the senior year talent show in high school.
Why? I was supposed to sing with Nicole van Dusen, the belle of the theater department.
Oh, I remember her.
She was pretty.
With the voice of an angel.
So for the senior year talent show, Nicole and I were going to duet on Meat Loaf's "Paradise by the dashboard light.
" - Love that song.
- Who doesn't? And Nicole and I had a very avant-garde impersonation of the piece-- groundbreaking.
But when the first cupcake kid comic came out, and I became a laughingstock, she feigned food poisoning.
Instead, I had to perform with Mr.
Albano, the sweaty sock of a drama teacher.
I was humiliated and never smiled again.
Nick is really sorry about the whole cupcake kid thing.
We all are, Carter.
You're a good man, Owen Rowan.
In recognition of this and your continued patronage of my clown services, I will allow Best Friend Windows to submit a bid on the elementary school project.
Tell them to have their proposal on my desk by 5:00 tomorrow.
Thank you, Carter.
You're welcome, Owen.
Is there anything else I can do for you? - Well - Yes? Can you make me another one of those octopus hats? - You all right, son? - Been better.
They'll come around.
These things just take time.
Time's all I got now.
Got no friends, no job I got nothin' except for that buckethead sittin' in my chair.
- What is he doing, exactly? - I know, right? He looks ridiculous.
- Well, take it easy, Ikey.
- Yeah.
Did I ever tell you how "sneaky Pete" got his name? No.
"Sneaky Pete" used to be known simply as "Pete," but he got caught stealing the football pool money at the Johnson Inn.
Pete was afforded outcast status tout suite.
But after a certain amount of time, it passed.
- He called for a tribunal.
- A what? A tribunal to plead his case before those he had wronged.
He talked about what he regretted and why he should be allowed back into the fold, and damned if it didn't work.
You and your friends forgave him? We did.
Of course, he had to be known as "sneaky Pete" for the rest of his days, but still at least those days aren't lonely.
A tribunal, huh? A tribunal.
I can't believe Nick's high school scribblings is gonna cost Best Friend Windows its first job.
Does everything that guy writes have to cause so much misery? Cut him some slack.
He was a kid.
Can you honestly say you didn't pick on anyone in those days? No, not that I can remember.
Oh, bullies never remember, but the bullied never forget.
Trust me.
I know of what I speak.
Hey, Janet.
You know that french restaurant you've been raving about? Yeah.
Went there on a blind date last night.
How was it? The blind date I shall not revisit.
The restaurant I hope to often.
I wouldn't know.
I've been subliminally trying to get this one to take me there, - but with little success.
- I wouldn't exactly call it subliminal.
You've done everything except tape the restaurant review to my forehead.
I made reservations for four.
Math's not my strong suit, but I only count two.
It's a double date with Hannah and Ray.
You're serious? We're a couple now.
We should do couple-y things, like go out with my best friend and her fiancé.
There's couple-y, and then there's I'd rather have eye surgery.
Hannah's important to me, Eddie.
Yeah, I get it, but still, it's Big Cat Cataldo.
It's one meal.
Please, Eddie? Fine.
Thanks, Batman.
I was looking for Mr.
de Winter - Do you want crackers? - No, thanks.
I dip my grilled cheese straight into the tomato soup.
I'm a radical.
You aren't still looking at those comics? Well, they're no "Turtle on a snare drum," but each frame is a window into Nick Garrett.
You mean, taking advantage of other people's flaws to tell a story? That's not what I meant, but yeah.
I never intended for it to be a big deal.
I was bored in study hall just doodling when I noticed Carter Bump in the back row picking his nose and eating cupcakes.
There was a fire alarm, and before exiting the classroom, Carter downed three cupcakes with such purpose, it was almost like he was gonna put out the fire himself.
He almost looked heroic.
But the thing that kills me, besides writing the comic in the first place, is that I forgot about it.
I completely forgot about something that had such a major impact on this guy's life.
Well, my dad used to say that our greatest blessing is the ability to forget.
Of course, he'd say that mostly after forgetting his sister's birthday or his wedding anniversary or my name.
Yeah you eventually forgave him, right? Not so much.
What do you want, Ray? You remember my buddy, Matt Lauche? Hater of all things good.
I really like what you've done with the place.
These are some desks.
They got drawers and everything.
They got a water cooler, too.
Imagine the monday morning chitchat.
What are you doing here, Ray? I'm not in the mood.
It's bad enough I got to go to dinner with you on friday.
You got to show up where I work, too? I heard you were going after the elementary school job.
I just thought you might want some advice on how to land a big fish from the Big Cat.
Why don't you save your yapping for friday night? Rumor is you learned to chew with your mouth closed.
I'm looking forward to seeing that for myself.
Saw your truck outside.
It still reads "Latekka Landscaping.
" Isn't one failed business enough? How's Janet, by the way? What's it to ya? I don't know.
You and Janet? I just don't get it.
I mean, come on, man.
I mean, dating her is like, eating pizza with a knife and fork.
It's just not something you do unless you really have to.
It's only a sucker punch if you don't know it's coming, right, Lauche? Yeah.
Well, it's coming in two seconds-- one to the gut followed by a right across the temple.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey.
Come on, bro.
Don't key the Ferrari.
No, no, no, no.
Now how could I possibly share a meal with you when you just viciously attacked my good friend? Get outta here.
Come on.
Hannah and Janet are gonna be so disappointed.
Enjoy your friday night.
I know I will.
Ikey.
What are you doing here? Can we talk? - Janet, wait, talk to me.
- What's there to talk about? Dinner's off.
End of story.
- This isn't all my fault.
- Right.
Matt Lauche's face is to blame, too, being that it got in the way of your fist and all.
He and Big Cat showed up looking for a fight, plain and simple.
And you just had to give it to him? What could he possibly have said to get you so corked? It doesn't matter.
But this double date you ruined? It was important to me.
For so many years, I've played the third wheel with Hannah and her boyfriends.
Just once, I wanted to sit across from her in a booth with somebody by my side for a change.
Now that's never gonna happen.
God, I am such a moron.
Ray played me like a guitar.
Actually, he played you like a ukulele.
How do you figure? Ukuleles are goofier.
Easier to play.
Ikey called for a tribunal.
- What? - I'm not sure I wanna hear this.
What's a tribunal? A committee that hears an argument and makes a judgment.
It's his right, and he wishes to exercise it.
Ikey's got no rights.
He has no standing anymore.
He wants to be heard, Owen, and I think we owe him that much.
I don't care what he has to say.
No string of words is gonna change what he did.
How many times do I have to explain this? I'm just looking for an explanation that makes sense, Ray.
I went down to Best Friend Windows to talk about the elementary school job.
I just figured with the dinner and all, it was time for a peace offering.
Eddie obviously doesn't want my help.
I know Eddie has a short fuse, but why would he punch Matt? Who knows? The guy threw his own partner through their storefront window.
Swear to me you did nothing to provoke him? I swear.
It was just my bum luck to find Eddie Latekka in a foul mood.
I hardly blame the guy, though.
After what I did to his landscaping business? He's got a legitimate bone to pick.
I just thought we were past that.
It's just really sad.
Janet was looking forward to letting bygones be bygones.
Yeah, so was I, Hannah Jane.
- Owen.
- Hey.
Where is everybody? Ronnie's in his room.
Nick said he wouldn't be home for dinner.
He's with Eddie and Phil.
Some kind of gathering.
You gonna be there, too? And miss your salisbury steak? I don't think so.
Owen? I ever tell you how sneaky Pete got his name? Hey, Carter, it's Nick Garrett again.
I'm gonna drop off our proposal later today, and I was just kinda hoping that if you were around, maybe we could talk while I'm there.
Let me know.
You got my number.
Thanks.
Yeah, I remember when those comics first appeared in the cafeteria.
I, for one, didn't think they were funny at all.
Oh, they were funny.
They were just about me, was the problem.
And then he goes and writes his book, which was virtually the equivalent of undoing his belt, yanking down his pants and taking a squat on the town.
Now he wants you to give him the responsibility of putting windows in the very building that is there to educate the children of this town.
So, what did you have in mind, Raymond? I dropped off the proposal at Carter's.
- Did you see him? - No, they said he was gone for the day.
He's doing a party.
I still can't believe that miserable wretch is a kiddie clown.
Owen.
I still say this tribunal thing is a bad idea, but the commander is very convincing.
I'm glad you came.
Okay, we're ready for you now, Ikey.
What's he doing here? Don't mind him, Ikey, just say what you came to say.
Minus the last few months, we've been friends for almost 20 years.
I know that 'cause every time I look in the mirror and see my bent nose, it reminds me how I met Owen Rowan's elbow on the playground before I met the rest of him.
I'd just moved to the Ridge.
I didn't know Jack from Jill.
I remember you felt so bad afterwards.
I was just some grimy kid with a wad of toilet paper up his nose, but you introduced me to your friends, and that changed everything.
I wasn't David Eichorn anymore.
I was Ikey.
That's how Owen introduced me to you guys-- as "Ikey.
" And Ikey's all I've ever been.
You guys are a part of me.
Nick, remember these skid marks? Huh? Yeah.
When you dared me to ride down north hill road on my bike during the storm.
And this gimpy pinkie finger, huh, Phys? I got this from those homemade firecrackers you told me were 100% safe.
I got my man Eddie Latekka, of course, to thank for my best pickup line.
And I tell all the girlies I got this in desert storm from a bayonet when, actually, you just nicked me with a hedge trimmer.
I know we've come a long way since that playground, Owen.
You brought me into the fold then.
I hope that you'll let me back in now.
I can't lose you guys any more than I can lose my own skin.
You're who I am! I'm Ikey because of you guys.
And while maybe Ikey ain't so much he's a lot less when he ain't got you guys in his life.
I guess that's all I gotta say.
I vote no.
Oh, fancy! I figured I should wear 'em at least once before I return 'em.
Oh, they pinch like a bear trap, but they look so good.
I wish things hadn't gone sideways like they did.
Well, boys can be stupid.
They're not gonna change overnight, especially not Eddie Latekka.
I see.
This is Eddie's fault.
Well yeah.
You know, Ray's the one who went into Eddie's store with the obvious chip on his shoulder.
Actually, Ray went into Best Friend Windows to help Eddie land a window job.
He was there to be a friend.
Friend? Eddie wouldn't even need the job if Ray hadn't stolen all his landscaping clients.
Whoa.
Are we fighting over boys? What are we, like, 12? I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to attack Eddie.
No, it's my bad.
I'm sure you're right about Ray.
Anyways, the person to really blame is that tool, Matt Lauche.
According to Ray, Matt didn't say a word.
I find that hard to believe.
Matt Lauche is a jerk.
If he's not making fun of my ass, he's grabbing it.
If there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that Eddie hit him because the guy served it.
I don't know why Ray would lie about it.
He's never lied to me in our four years together, not once.
Not that you know of.
Is there something you're not telling me? No.
No.
Then why all of a sudden the problem with Ray? Where is this coming from? - I'm just saying - Saying what? Excuse me if I can't always be Hannah's yes-girl.
What are you even talking about? Hannah's yes-girl? I have played the third wheel with you long enough to know that you have a wicked blind spot when it comes to the men in your life.
It's why right now you can't see what a slimeball Big Cat can be, and that's why ten years ago you didn't see how badly Nick wanted to leave the Ridge.
Didn't you just get your very first boyfriend? What is that supposed to mean? It means why don't you try dating someone for more than a couple months before you come at me with this crap? I don't know if you think this is how girls with boyfriends act-- blindly defending their men-- but trust me, the only thing you're acting like is a rookie.
I think I should go.
I think you should, too.
Dude? I'm dying here.
What's the word? I'm sorry, Ikey.
I don't understand.
Everything you said hit home.
Owen's just not ready.
What am I supposed to do now? It's a terrible thing, Physical Phil, having no friends.
Do you think I'm being unreasonable? Fair is fair, O.
He said his piece.
You said yours.
I think by punishing Ikey, you're just punishing yourself.
No one makes you laugh like that idiot.
What is it? I just talked to Lars at public works.
Apparently, Big Cat Cataldo is getting the elementary school contract.
Big Cat? Big Cat.
I still think this is a bad idea, Nick.
I gotta give it one more shot.
I owe Eddie that much.
It's gonna take a miracle.
You denied Carter love when you denied him his "paradise by the dashboard light" duet with Nicole van Dusen.
Butter, sugar, eggs and flour.
Frosting, sprinkles, superpower.
Good.
Let's go.
Now I want everyone to secure your invisible parachutes, okay? Because the magic carpet is flying over Bubbleville! Where the princess has been captured by the evil-- turtle on a snare drum.
All right, Katie, here's your sword.
- Now does everyone have a sword? - Yeah.
Good.
Okay, kids, Plumpy needs to take a break.
I'll be right back.
What are you doing here? It's over.
I'm not here because of the job.
I'm here because I wanted to say I'm sorry, and I wanted to give you this.
- What is it? - All the "cupcake kid" comics-- the originals.
You can do what you want with them-- throw them away, line a birdcage, burn them, whatever you want.
Wow.
I haven't seen these in years.
Well, they were so much more powerful in my head.
These are actually really kind of amateurish.
Well, it's hard to make the facial features pop under the cupcake helmet.
Keep 'em.
I got no use for them.
- So are we good then? - Of course not! The comics might be crappier than I remember, but that doesn't excuse years of humiliation and ridicule.
But there's one thing that will.
Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to karaoke night at Sully's! Here we go.
Eddie! Okay, here we go.
We got a real pressure cooker going here What's taking so long? You can't rush chicken pot pie.
Hey, there's Janet.
Janet! - Sam.
- Janet? Are you here for the pot pie, too? No.
I just-- I came in to use the bathroom.
- Later, Sam.
- Later, Janet.
What was that all about? - Go, go, go.
- Well, it's about time, pal.
Join me.
Feel free.
Nick has to do the girl parts.
I said to sing like a girl! - What is wrong with you? - Nothin'.
It isn't often you get to see your brother make a fool of himself.
You should be enjoying this.
You have the most beautiful smile I've ever seen.
- I do? - You do.
I'm Karen.
Well, I'm Carter Bump.
Carter!