Parenthood s02e06 Episode Script

I mean, we're just studying, right? We're not trying to flirt with our SAT tutor? It's making me feel like I'm crashing a date with you and Howard.
This is kind of how I hoped it would be.
And I should give you back this ring before you lose it.
I'm really touched.
I'm so excited.
I didn't suggest you for the booth job.
What do you mean? Gordon said that you did.
He usually has an ulterior motive.
You really don't get how amazing you are, do you? Hey, honey.
What are you doing? Being festive.
Honey.
What? Orange is for doctor appointments, not for Halloween.
You know what? I was thinking, speaking of that Purple.
Look, I know that usually we stay home on Halloween, but I was thinking maybe this year we try taking Max over to my parent's house.
- You're not serious.
- It's Halloween.
Go ahead.
Ask him.
Hey, Max.
You know how we usually stay at home on Halloween? I was thinking that maybe this year we'd go to Grandpa and Grandma's.
I do not want to.
Hmm.
- It's so much fun.
- Could you open this? Honey, it's okay.
You don't have to go.
I want to go trick-or-treating.
I want to go trick-or-treating.
Really? Max, honey, you've never been trick-or-treating.
He was trick-or-treating once.
When he was 18 months old.
Max, are you sure you want to go trick-or-treating? You get candy for just going up to a door and asking.
Yes, you do.
Hold on a second.
Hold on.
That is correct.
And it's so You walk up to a door.
You knock.
You can dress up however you want to dress up.
You can pick your own costume.
You could be a pirate.
Cockroach.
I want to be a cockroach.
Or a cockroach.
Come on, Syd.
Mommy, I know what I want to be for Halloween.
You do? Here, work with me.
What do you want to be? I want to be a beauty queen.
Come again? I want to be Miss California.
Sweetie, why don't you want be a ladybug like you were last year? That was so cute.
Well, I was a ladybug when I was little.
I think you're still pretty little.
Mommy, stop! I'm not little.
And I want to be Miss California.
Okay, why don't we discuss it later? No, Mom.
I know what I want.
I want to be Miss California.
Okay, we're going to think about it and then we'll discuss it later.
Is your grandpa excited enough about Halloween, you think? Yeah, I know.
Good morning.
Wow.
It's so tight, I can't breathe.
Can you help me with that? Boy, you look really hot.
I bet it's for that forklift operator guy.
Oh, well, actually, that's sort of over.
Who's forklift guy? No, it's done.
Well, you're dressing for someone.
Hey, guess what? I found my zombie arm.
Oh, gosh.
Cool.
Uh-oh.
Hey, look at all of this.
Hey, can I see the leg? Yeah.
We got three days till Halloween, that means we are behind.
Behind the neighbors? Nobody make any plans, all right? I want all hands on deck here.
We are gonna scare the piss out off the neighborhood kids this year.
Oh, Zeek, we're not scaring the piss out of anybody.
Amber would like to scare the piss out of the neighborhood kids.
I do, that's right up my alley.
But I can't.
I have to go to Kelsey's mom's benefit thing.
Sarah, you tell Amber that she's got to spend Halloween with her family.
I'm really sorry, Dad.
It's probably a bad time to tell you, but I can't be there, either.
I got to work at the bar.
Oh, wait a minute.
Honey, sweetheart, this is important to me.
Dad, I don't make money at this day job and, you know, it's a big night for tips.
So But I'll be wearing a costume.
So will I.
I will, too.
Hey, we'll send pictures.
Yeah, we will.
Okay.
Bye.
Hey.
Well, I guess it's just you and me, kid.
Don't you want to at least go inside and see what it's like? What time will you pick me up? Buddy, you're going to be having so much fun, you're not even going to want us to come back.
What if I don't feel good? Could I come home sooner? Dude, this is incredible.
- How did you do this? - Do what? Do what? You have the best cubby in the whole class.
It's blue, your favorite color.
It's at waist-level so you don't hurt your back when you're putting your pack in there.
Did you pay someone off to get it? I didn't.
Maybe you're just lucky.
You want to give it a shot? Let's see it.
Are you new? Do you want to see the class pet? His name is Marvin and he eats crickets.
Sometimes, he leaves the heads.
Okay.
Bye, buddy, have a good day.
Okay.
They were holding hands.
The little guy with glasses.
Hi.
I was How are you? Good.
You? Good.
Yeah.
Okay.
Oh, oh, oh! Yeah? Sarah, I've been meaning to tell you.
The specs on the M.
X.
20 are late.
And, you know, that's your responsibility and I need you to have the design team have that on my desk no later than tomorrow, okay? Right.
Okay.
Halloween can be a very challenging holiday for these kids.
Exactly.
There's no question.
Okay, so we just never go out in the world? We just sequester ourselves in our house? What would you say would be the biggest challenges for Max with Halloween? Candles.
The people.
Fire.
The scary costumes.
He's uncomfortable with fire.
But he has That is a massive understatement.
Look, this is important to me.
Right.
This is our family's holiday.
That's because your family's insane.
It's one holiday that we have where there isn't any family drama.
And I would like my son to be a part of it Actually, guess what? Okay.
A few years ago, I celebrated Halloween.
I didn't want Max to feel left out.
So we sort of made a game out of it.
Okay? We turned off all the lights and we all hid from all the trick-or-treaters.
We went upstairs and we played a game of Monopoly with a flashlight.
All right, Doc, listen.
Bottom line, do we or don't we? You know, if Max wants to try this, why don't you follow his lead? All right.
Are you kidding? He's never done this before.
And I understand and your concerns are completely valid.
But if Max is truly motivated to try this, that's an opportunity that you don't want to pass by.
I think the key to this is preparation.
Preview for Max as much as you possibly can.
Let him know exactly what he's going to be getting into ahead of time.
All right.
Keep it small.
I think probably best just the three of you this year.
Okay.
All right.
Great.
Let's just go for it.
Come on.
As a family.
Okay.
Okay, it's going to be great.
All right, we're going to go trick-or-treating.
Thank you.
This place is amazing.
Ooh, I can put a vegetable garden out there.
Oh, you don't want to put a vegetable garden.
Yeah, I do.
No, no, 'cause then just the dog will run through it, mess it all up.
And then we'll have to clean it all up.
What dog? A dog.
You know, I mean, a new place, a big lab maybe, named Marley or something.
Yeah, I don't know what you're talking about because I'm a cat person.
Groaty.
You're a cat person? Yeah.
Cats suck.
They're always licking themselves.
They're narcissistic.
They're kind of OCD.
Dogs are way better.
We gotta get a dog.
"We"? Hmm? You just said "we.
" You said we should We got to get a dog.
No, I said, you got to get a dog.
No.
I'm pretty sure I heard you say "we.
" I don't think so.
I think I said you meaning you and Jabbar should get a What's happening behind this door? You said "we," you weirdo.
Okay, Max, I want you to look at this.
This is a ball, but it's really, on Halloween night, going to be a jack-o'-lantern filled with fire and candles, okay? And there's going to be people around.
Loud noise People are going to be bustling their way up.
I don't get it.
I don't want a trick, so shouldn't I just say treat? Or just like, "Give me candy?" Well, yeah, but, honey, I didn't make up the rules.
I just know what it takes to get a mini-Snickers.
But what if someone gives me an Almond Joy? Do I have to take it? Well, yeah, you take it and you're polite about it, but you can bring it home and maybe Dad will eat it.
He likes coconut.
Coconut looks like the saliva that an ambush bug secretes in order to immobilize its prey.
It's disgusting.
Who would want to eat saliva in order to immobilize themselves? Your dad, he loves it.
Okay, now we're here.
Knock on the door.
Okay, go.
Knock.
There's no doorbell, so when that Just knock hard.
There might be an old person inside.
That's good.
Okay, and we step back.
That's good, thanks.
Oh, happy Hallow's Eve.
Oh, hi, old lady.
What a cute costume.
What are you? What do you say? Thank you.
No, you don't say "thank you" yet.
You say Trick or treat! Argh! Oh! Ooh, scary, take a piece of candy.
Thank you.
I love Necco Wafers.
We put this in the bag and we don't eat it till we get home 'cause I have to check it.
Young man, would you like a candy piece? What do you say? Thank you.
No, you say Okay, Max, if you don't say trick or treat, I can't give you candy.
But even if I say trick or treat, it's not really Halloween, so I won't get candy.
And even if it was Halloween, there's nothing in that bowl.
It's true.
We're pretending.
Except you're practicing.
There's nothing in this bowl.
Does anyone else have to practice? No.
No.
Did you? Why are you making me practice when no one else has to practice? It's just because we're practicing, Max.
Ten stickers.
You get one sticker and that's enough.
Sorry, Mom.
I just I never know what to say.
I tried.
It's going to be great.
Okay, this, this is what we need to get verified before we can actually take it.
Hey.
Turns out the Berkeley Coffee near me is the Berkeley Coffee near you.
I kissed my boss.
Excuse us.
Thank you.
Hi, latte? And come in.
Julia, I'm sure you have a million more important things to do, but I'm in the process of ruining my future, can you help? Oh, here, Eric in Accounting usually gets something good.
Okay, you kissed Gordon? Yes.
I did.
How did this happen? My boss.
Adam's boss.
The boss.
You know, he was sexy and appealing and he's got the hair that's like slicked back except for when it flops forward.
Oh, Sarah.
I was powerless to stop myself.
He made me feel smart.
He made me feel like I was doing a good job, he made me feel, like, for a minute, maybe I could be with a successful, good-Iooking guy.
You can.
Yes, you can.
No, I can't, Julia.
Those guys like you, okay? They will kiss me in the parking lot and then never call me.
Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
I saw him at work today.
He ignored me.
Okay, I hate to quote Mom here.
But you know what she told us in high school? "Um, you can get pregnant in a hot tub even if you don't have sex?" What? Hmm? Oh.
She said that? Maybe we got different talks.
What did she say to you? She said boys are dumb.
Oh, that one.
Yes.
Boys are dumb.
Well, especially the ones I pick.
Oh, yes, I'm in your office.
One minute please.
Thank you.
Boys are dumb, okay? It's not you.
It's not.
Okay? I can't ever show my face there again.
I acted like an idiot.
What you're going to do is go back in there with your head held high.
And you're going to give Eric in Accounting his latte.
No.
Yes.
You're going to hold your head high.
Let's do this.
And you're not going to let that jerk ruin your career.
Okay? My career? Julia, I'm an intern, and don't really have a career.
This is your shot.
Take it.
Okay? You're right.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Head up.
Thanks, dude.
Yeah, dude.
Sorry.
Hi, sorry.
Hello.
Come in.
All right, let me take you back here.
Focus, okay.
Let me take you back to the beginning on this.
In 1963, I don't know if you know this Oh, I love this story.
But the United States passed an amendment to the Fair Labor Standards Act.
That gave women equality in the workplace.
That's so exciting.
That was progress.
That was important.
And then this is just kind of I like it because it's pink and that's my favorite color.
Oh, that's true.
Yeah, but it kind of goes against everything that we, as women, have been struggling for for the last 50 years.
You know, it's It's It's way too cold to be wearing that in October.
I mean, look at it.
There's like no sleeves on that, hon.
Miss California wears a fur coat.
I'll wear that.
I can't argue with that.
I really, really, really, really, really want it.
I'm going to discuss it with your father.
Fur coat.
She said fur coat.
Yeah.
That's what she said? I've failed her, Joel.
And when it's my turn to be Student of the Week, I get to bring Marvin home for the whole weekend.
What exactly is Marvin? Okay, he's this big.
He has scales.
Oh, he has scales.
Well, one of the places we saw, has a great playroom that I'm sure Marvin would love.
You're still thinking about that one? The smell, that one? What smell? You know, that funky smell.
It's kind of hard to describe.
It's like canned soup or something.
Buddy, you want to live in a place that smells like broccoli soup? Nuh-uh.
Yeah, who would? Hey, Jabbar.
I hear the sailboat in the corner is decorated like a pirate ship for Halloween.
I bet if you go on the deck, you can see it.
Okay.
But stay on the deck, okay? Okay.
All right, what's going on? Hmm? What's going on? Well, what's going on is I don't like that place.
I think it's standard and boring.
I like it.
It's close to the Bart.
It's convenient.
Well, I thought you liked the place with the garden.
I do, I do.
But it's $500 more than I can afford.
I don't want you to make a decision you're gonna regret.
The place with the garden is so much nicer.
Well, it's my decision to make.
It's my place.
Right? Yeah, right.
I'm going to go check on him.
- Hey? - Hey.
Got a minute? I got a conference call.
Uh, you know what, never mind.
Come on in.
I've got a minute.
What's doing? These are the specs you asked for.
We went over them and I think you'll be pleased.
Terrific.
Great.
What else? Just quickly, I was wondering if Bob Inglemar's order came in yet, from the convention.
He just seemed so pleased with the Sarah, that's not how it works.
It's a process, negotiations, you know.
It's not like it happens all of a sudden, poof, the very next day.
Of course.
Yeah.
Duh.
But as soon as there's something to report, you'll be the first to know when I send out the company-wide memo.
Okay.
Thanks.
I'm sorry.
But after everything you said to me Really? The company-wide memo? I'm confused.
Is there a problem? No, I just feel like you're being weird.
I'm running my company.
Yes, but we kissed.
We kissed, yeah.
In a parking lot.
Yeah, and it was fantastic.
And now Now what? You want to know what's gonna happen next? No, please.
Yeah, sort of.
And you'd like to talk about it right now? No, no, no.
I don't know.
Sarah, look.
I think you're a wonderful, lovely woman.
Okay.
Never mind.
Forget it.
No, that's okay.
No, no, no, no.
Wait, wait, wait.
Hear me out.
You don't understand.
I've got a conference call that I'm three minutes late for.
And to be honest Please be honest.
To be honest, we have very different lifestyles.
What does that mean? That means that you have kids and I have a boat.
Having a boat is a lifestyle? We're acting like teenagers.
I don't know.
Maybe I'm not teenager enough for you.
Wait, wait, wait, that's not fair.
Hey, please, Sarah.
Please.
Okay.
You know what, you're right.
I'm sorry.
Let's forget it.
Let's forget the whole thing ever happened.
I really like my job.
That's what matters.
Let's just forget it.
Uh I'm fine.
I'll wait for the memo.
I trust that your father has explained to you the importance of the Braverman Halloween.
I mean, sure it's about decorating the yard and scaring the hell out of the obnoxious neighbor twits.
But it's a lot more than that really.
To me.
Halloween was the last holiday that your grandmother and I got to spend together before I shipped off to basic.
Know what that is? Army training.
Fort Benning, Georgia.
Now there's a total hellhole.
That's a story for another time anyway.
The point is that Camille and I spent that Halloween like it was Christmas, New Year's and Easter, all wrapped up together.
Oh, Max, we had a time.
Well, I missed a few holidays after that.
But, see, I always had the memory of that Halloween.
And that's why it's special.
Here you go.
What is it? For you.
Your grandma made it for you.
Your dad has one just like it, and Haddie, too, and now you got one.
Do you think I'll be able to get enough candy to fill it? Oh, Max, we are sure as hell gonna try.
I'm gonna go test out how much can fit.
Hey, bud.
Okay, we've got the Ehrins, the Hendersons and the Carpenters.
They're all on board to use the safety sticks for their jack-o'-lanterns.
Great.
And I spoke with the Guggenheims.
So, that's taken care of.
Perfect.
Uh-huh.
Uh-huh.
Great.
Awesome.
Good job.
Awesome.
Hey, look at that dog.
Huh? Aw, hi.
Look how cute you are.
Hi.
This is Morgan.
Hi, Morgan.
Hey.
Um, do you live around here? I do.
I'm just around the corner here on Sycamore.
Okay.
Oh.
The one with the dog house in the front.
Yeah.
Perfect.
Morgan's headquarters.
I love, love, love Sycamore.
Wow.
Are you cute? Well, listen, my husband and I are out walking, and we're passing these out to neighbors to maybe put in their jack-o'-lanterns this year instead of candles.
My son's afraid of fire.
Oh.
Yeah.
We have orange and we have yellow.
Yeah.
He has Asperger's, and I don't even know why he wants to go trick-or-treating.
It's not a big deal.
If you wouldn't mind putting these in your jack-o'-lantern instead of Yeah, I could put them in the pumpkin.
There's an orange one and a They're okay for the dog? Even better for the dog.
Yeah? It's not fire.
All right.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Come on, Mack Daddy.
See you, Mack Daddy.
Okay, Daddy-O.
All right, listen.
Honey, I don't know how we're gonna do all this.
This is impossible.
There's a house over there.
Can we just pause for a second and note the absurdity of trying to completely remove fire from Halloween? Okay, well, you know what, let's stay home then.
We'll play Monopoly again.
That was fun.
You know, I forgot to tell you that Julia called and she and Joel are going to bring Sydney over.
And then Crosby got wind of it, so they're going to come over, too.
Honey, they can't.
Dr.
Pelikan specifically said to keep the group small.
Yeah, they're all trying to be supportive of Max, okay? What am I supposed to say? Anyway, the point is, that my whole family's going to go, I feel really guilty about not being there, you know.
Excuse me? Hello? Are you listening to me, guy? Um, yes, yes.
Okay, your family has some psychotic love of Halloween.
That's what I said.
In other news.
Oh.
Joy, Howard has invited us to a frat party.
That's so exciting.
Awesome? Awesome, yes.
Where is it? It's across the bay, and it's going to be incredible.
No, we're not going.
Um, we are totally going.
No, no, we're not going.
I'm not going across the bay to a frat party with Howard.
No.
Yeah, why do you say it like that, because it's going to be amazing.
You know, how we've talked about it's wrong to judge people by the way that they look.
Right? Mmm-hmm.
And do you know how beauty contestants are judged? Mmm.
Talent, swimsuit and interview.
Right.
I got the Well, mostly they're judged by how they look.
And that's wrong.
So, all I'm saying is we do still have your ladybug costume, you know, in the case that you decide you have moral issues with what you're wearing.
Okay, why don't we just put this on, sweetie.
Let's see how it looks with the tiara thing.
Okay.
Okay.
Wow.
There's my Okay, let's take a Even with the hand.
Now look at that.
Cheese.
Guys.
Oh, martini for the panda.
You thought I forgot.
I'll take those, thank you.
Trick or treat.
Hi.
Hi.
Wow, what are you doing here? Can you talk? Um, not really.
Thanks.
I'll have a beer.
Okay.
You were completely right about me, everything you said.
I only date younger women.
The kid thing was always a deal breaker.
And then there's the fact that I am your boss.
We are a terrible idea.
Well, thank you so much for coming here to tell me that.
I'll have another one, please.
Another beer.
Hey, uh, Count, that one's for you.
One more please.
Thanks.
There's nothing I can do about my age, you know.
And the kids I'd happily give up.
But I really like my job.
So we're at an impasse.
Then I'll have another beer.
Sweetheart, this is for you.
And another, and another, and another.
However many it takes to get you to understand that even though you are absolutely wrong for me, I can't stop thinking about you.
Gordon, my boss.
Maybe it's the cat suit.
You'll get over it.
I love it when people say no to me.
I'm just going to stick around for a while if it's okay with you.
Okay, guys, Halloween 101.
I've got the map out right here.
From Sycamore, right here Are you guys listening? - Anybody listening? - Yeah.
We're going to make a right on Oak Street.
Honey, I'm fine, really.
Okay.
We're gonna cut through the park to avoid Elm Street.
Under no circumstances are we to go down Elm.
You got it? Okay.
There's a really scary house on Elm Street.
It is quite literally a nightmare on Elm Street.
You know what, I know that this seems insane, but we're just trying to help out Max.
No, we're 1,000% behind you.
Whatever route we need to take is absolutely fine.
Thank you.
I just want your kids to have fun, too, though.
Honey, glow sticks, Max is afraid of fire.
I got all of these light sticks here because I wanted people to pass them out.
Max is really afraid of candles and then Halloween We'll get plenty of candy, it'll be fine.
Come on, let's get going, what's the hold up? Jeez, let's go.
Come on.
The kids are waiting.
Come on.
All right.
No Braverman left behind.
Thank you.
Thanks.
There he is.
There is my favorite Jedi knight.
So how's it going, you having good time? Yeah? Why do you keep asking me that? I don't have to ask you again.
Okay, be careful.
Let's see.
Is that on the official list? It is on the official list.
Here we are.
Lady with green hair.
Okay, Max, now when you get up there, ring the doorbell.
Say, "Thank you.
Trick or treat.
" And tell 'em what you are.
You're a cockroach.
Honey, honey.
Relax.
What? He's fine, relax.
I'm relaxed.
You don't help me by telling me to relax.
Trick or treat! Wait.
This is so cool.
Banana Butt, let's go.
I'm going as fast as I can.
I'm in a banana suit.
Did I drop my phone? Why did you wear that thing? Oh, my God.
It's funny.
It's not cute.
Sorry.
Come on, seriously.
Oops, sorry.
Hey, hey, we're looking for Howard.
Do you know him? Yeah.
I'm sure he's around somewhere.
Come on in.
Come on.
Welcome.
Let me go get you something real quick.
Thank you.
He was cute.
You should ask him about his major or something when he comes back.
I can't flirt in a banana suit.
I told you to wear something different.
That guy's disgusting.
A banana suit, seriously, come on.
Hey, let's go on a fun tour of the house.
We could get some smokes and a drink.
Come on.
Oh, boy.
Okay.
Okay, buddy, come on.
Here we go.
Excuse me.
We've seen like four places for her and Jabbar to move into.
Well, how does that make you feel? Do you feel like you want to move in with them? Well, yeah, of course, a part of me does.
You know, I'm going to all these houses with her and I want to be part of all that.
Uh-huh.
But at the same time, I'll be sitting in another house looking at the yard and the pantry and all that other crap you and Kristina have.
And that scares you? Well, and then all of a sudden, it's like 10 years in the future and I'm you.
Ah.
And it's daunting.
I mean, no offense.
Yeah.
Say, "Trick or treat.
" Trick or treat.
So, what, have you talked to Jasmine about it, how you're feeling? Nope.
Why not? What do you expect her to do, read your mind? Well, yeah.
It would help.
I'm emotionally stunted.
I blame Dad.
Really? I always blame Mom.
I think she played a role, too, in this whole package.
Crosby, I honestly don't get you sometimes.
You've got this incredible kid.
You've got this beautiful girl who, you know, none of us can for the life of us, figure out why she's so in love with you.
What's the problem? I don't know, man.
It's just, you know, she moved back and forth to New York and I don't know how I feel.
How did you know with Kristina when it was the time? I just felt it.
We were at this game, eating cheese fries and she looked at me, smiled, and bam.
I didn't want to eat cheese fries with anybody but her.
All right.
You don't even eat cheese fries though anymore.
Don't miss the boat.
You're like the cholesterol cops now.
Don't miss the boat.
All right? I eat metaphorical cheese fries now.
Hi, here you go.
Awesome techno.
Really, not driving me crazy at all.
Hi.
What? Talk louder.
No.
Oh, Amber.
Where are you? God, I have no idea where that is.
Text me the address.
All right, I'll be there soon.
Hey, when do you get off? Hey, Bobby, can I get my purse? I'll call you guys later and fill you in.
Thanks.
Just cover for me.
What's going on? Uh, kids.
You don't like them, remember? Wait, wait, wait.
You sound like you're upset.
I am upset.
My daughter's with her supposedly perfect friend who got so drunk she can't drive her home.
So, now I have to go find them at some party across the bay.
I'll take you.
Let me drive you.
I don't even know where I'm going.
I barely even know the city that well.
Look, come on, I've got a super fast car.
I'm a super fast driver.
I'll get you there in a flash, as long as I don't get us killed.
You really are persistent.
We'll go for some after-hours sushi Mom, I want to go to the haunted house.
Hey.
Hey, hey, hey, Kristina, I thought that we were gonna take the kids through the park.
That was the plan.
Exactly, that was the plan.
What happened? Mom, I want to go to the haunted house.
Yeah, some of the kids went ahead to the big house.
Max, we're not going to go up there.
No, no, if the little kids can go, then so can I.
I can, too.
Max, there are a lot of candles up there, okay? And we know how you feel about candles, so Well, what's wrong with candles? Hold it.
Hold it.
Hold it.
Hey, kids.
Kids, come here a second.
Huddle up here.
The little kids want to go to the haunted house.
And if they can, then I can, too.
Okay, I think we should just go home.
Let's call it a night.
You guys can go up there.
No, no! If the little kids can do this, then so can I! Okay, Max? If the little kids can, then so can I.
Okay, you know what, Max, you're right.
You know what? Max is right, everybody.
Let's all go to the haunted house together.
Is that the plan? Let's go.
Amber! Mom! Amber? Here, here, the banana.
Oh, my God.
Wow.
What happened? She's wasted.
She's just like in the pool and she won't get out.
In the pool? Oh, God.
Is she Please, just I want to home.
I'm Gordon.
Amber.
Pleasure.
Kelsey, it's Sarah, hey.
Hi, Sarah.
Hi.
It's Amber's mom.
Come get out of the pool, let us take you home.
- Don't get out! - Don't get out! Kelsey, please get out of the pool.
You're making a fool of yourself.
Shut up.
Uh, Kelsey, honey, you gotta be cold in there.
Excuse me.
Yeah.
Hold that for me.
Okay.
Kelsey, sweetie, just come up here and let's talk about it.
It's just a boy.
It's no big deal.
- He's an idiot.
- Look at him.
- He's probably an idiot.
- Let's go home, okay? Yeah, we'll have fun.
It'll be really fun.
Oh, my God.
- Don't get out! - Don't get out! Don't get out! Oh, here we go, hon.
You okay? Wow, he's kind of amazing.
Yeah.
Just give us a couple more seconds, guys.
All right.
None of the other parents are going up.
I'm going alone.
Right, let's just let him do this thing.
Honey, this is not a good idea.
There are candles everywhere.
- Okay, go.
- Go ahead.
It's all good.
It's all clear.
Okay, go on.
- Hey, buddy.
- All right, guys, have fun.
Max, I will be right here for you.
I will not move.
We'll be right here, Max.
Come on, Max.
Let's go.
This is such a terrible idea, horrible idea.
Listen, either way there was a chance of a meltdown.
He's going to completely lose it.
All right, look, he's still heading up there.
Okay.
Squeeze my hand.
Hold it.
Hold it tighter.
I'm holding your hand.
Come on, buddy.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Mom! Dad! - What? Yeah, yup! Right here.
Look, look, look, look.
Yeah! Look, what I got.
What do you got? Look, I got a spider ring.
Look, the head's kind of like a black widow, but the body is more like a parson spider.
He got a spider ring.
Come on! Show Grandpa and Grandma your spider ring.
You got a spider ring? That's pretty cool, Max.
Next house.
Did you get another one? Let's go, next house.
I just had a heart attack.
He's a Braverman.
Oh, my God.
You were right about Howard, he's such a douche.
I know.
It's that name.
You can't trust a guy named Howard.
Here you go.
You feeling okay? I'm so embarrassed.
Oh, no, don't.
Don't worry about it.
I've totally been there.
I'm sorry I threw up in your boyfriend's Beemer.
I'm sorry.
Good as new.
I feel terrible.
Is the car okay? It's a lease.
I got another month.
How about your suede jacket? Uh, I'm just glad she's okay.
Thank you.
I mean, really you were just great tonight.
Oh, it was nothing.
No, I mean, for a guy who says he's not into kids, you're really good with them.
Not really, just good with drunk women.
My ex.
Oh.
Huh.
Well, this is my life.
I live with my parents.
I like it.
Thanks.
My son is very quiet and withdrawn and really needs me, but he acts like he doesn't.
And my daughter you've met.
That's kind of freaky.
You know, it oddly doesn't freak me out.
It doesn't? It terrifies me.
Maybe a little bit.
But you know that What's that girl's name again? Kelsey.
Kelsey said, that thing about me being your boyfriend, I didn't completely hate the sound of that.
Really? I didn't hate it either.
If I were to kiss you again, you wouldn't get weird on me or ignore me at work or pretend like it never happened, would you? Would you? That was a terrifying glimpse into our future.
Yeah, I don't think We've got a couple of years until we have to worry about her actually wearing makeup.
But it's coming, right.
It's coming? Yeah.
And there's not a damn thing we can do to stop it.
Can you promise me something? Promise me that with the next one, time will slow down.
It will actually slow down.
I promise.
You just lied to me, didn't you? Yes.
Yes, you did.
Oh, I just don't want the little kid phase to be over.
It's too fast.
I know.
Okay.
Okay.
I love candy! I love chocolate! This is my favorite holiday! Yeah.
You look sexy.
Thank you.
Okay.
What is that? Pretty much like I hit a homerun.
Really? I'll tell you what.
Next year if you want, we can play flashlight Monopoly.
No way.
Why not? 'Cause we're officially a trick-or-treating family now, honey.
Oh, yeah.
Max had so much fun.
I'm not going back to that.
I am so tired I can't even remember if I gave the speech or if I just did it in my head.
All right, it goes something like this.
Honey, I love you.
And I want to thank you for everything you did to make tonight work.
You're welcome.
All right? Yeah.
And I want to thank you for the safety lights, for the maps, harassing all the neighbors, for putting up with my family, for putting up with me.
And, I just want to thank you for all the planning, you know, and for the fact that you were willing to go see Dr.
Pelikan and go along with it.
I honestly don't know how you make everything work all the time.
But you do.
You're amazing.
So I got you a little something.
It's the last one.
Honey, that's very sweet.
Thank you.
I love you, honey.
Hey, thank you.
This was really sweet of you.
And I hate Halloween.
But I love you.
It's every cotton swab's favorite candy.
- Yeah.
- What are you doing? Are you stealing from our kid? Are you kidding me? Ah, this is my favorite part of Halloween.
Oh, yes.
Mmm.
What? I got chocolate on my face? Uh-huh.
You do.
You look super cute, though.
I can't think of anything I'd rather be doing than sitting on the floor with you pillaging our son's candy.
Yeah, me, too.
Hey.
Yeah.
I'm sorry I got weird during the house hunting.
It's all right.
I guess what I should have to you is that I don't want you guys to move into a house without me.
I want in.
I don't want to live without you.
Come here, hop up on your knees.
Why? What are you doing? I think I'm going Well, now I'm definitely gonna Jasmine, aka, Pocahontas, I've done some pretty awesome things in my life, jumped helicopters, Snake River Canyon, but nothing would be as awesome as marrying you.
Will you marry me?