Puberty Blues (2012) s02e06 Episode Script

1 Your poor legs.
Poor back.
Where have you been? Shops.
Been gone a long time.
Annie's dead.
She mentioned you in her diary several times.
There seems to be an implication you were romantically involved with her.
I didn't do anything wrong, and I'd like you to believe me.
Debbie's coming on the weekend to surprise you for your birthday.
Don't think I've forgotten that you cheated on her.
And no, before you ask, I haven't told her.
The hell is with Gary? He's been acting really strange.
Has he said anything? No.
Nothing against you, but Debbie is nothing like you.
Oh? I'm sick of all this lying.
He rooted someone else.
You knew?! What was I supposed to do? You were supposed to tell me.
This is bullshit.
I'm sorry.
I would have been home on time.
Honest.
I was looking after Debbie.
My Debbie? Has Debbie called home? No.
Have you made up with her yet? No.
Must be a record for you lezzos.
Bet you're missing your muff dives.
Not as much as you're missing Nathan's dad.
Not as much as I'm missing the rest of this finger bun.
What, the bit that you just shoved in your mouth? What about it? I'm starving.
They're here.
Do you reckon they saw us? It's hard to tell.
Do you wanna walk past again? - Just one more time.
- Hi, Cheryl.
Piss off, Frieda.
Moove Girls are sluts anyway.
That's why you wanna be one so badly.
- Do not.
- But you do.
You really do.
There's something about her.
Hey! You! Yeah, you.
Looks like the talent scouts have spotted me talent.
Glad someone has.
Don't eat that! Um, what's your name? - Vicki.
- Hey, Vicki.
Stuff this! Tell us a little bit about yourself.
Debbie? You're losing a lot of water.
Oh, I've never felt so shit in my entire life.
This is horrible.
People are horrible.
Teachers are horrible.
Toilets are disgusting.
I can't imagine why Gary would do such a thing when he loves you so much.
That is enough chitchat, you two.
I can hear your crocodile tears from my office.
Miss Scott, we've learnt our lesson.
We're sorry.
Nancy, your mother's on her way.
My mum's coming? Scholarships aren't for delinquents.
I suggest you start packing.
So, what did the scout say? They wanna take my picture.
They reckon they're gonna enter me in the comp.
Sounds painful.
Youse are just jealous.
Give us a bite of your doughnut.
You didn't give me any of your pie.
You didn't ask.
Careful.
Your mum's bum's inherited, you know? Is it a large inheritance or a small inheritance? Lucky for her, it's so big she could live off it for the rest of her life.
Hi, Sue.
What's wrong with his face? He's smiling.
Interesting how the tard seems to know who you are.
Get lost, will ya? Don't gloat.
It makes your face look ugly.
He's got a crush on me.
Hmm.
Keep up the good work, Mandy.
15 cents.
You can do better, Malcolm.
Keep the snail.
Next? Bugger.
Sue.
I'm not talking to you.
Have you heard from Debbie? No.
She's not talking to me either.
You've gotta fix this.
You wrecked everything, waved your stupid dick around.
Well, you didn't have to tell her.
If you hadn't have told her, things wouldn't be so shit.
Best friends tell each other everything.
It's rule number one, Gary.
Sue, please.
I stuffed it up.
I need your help.
You're a philanderer.
Why should I help you? Because I'm telling you that I love her.
And best friends tell each other everything, so tell her that.
I don't wanna leave.
Please, Mum! The school have dropped you like a hot pie, my girl.
- Can't you talk to them? - And tell them what? That this isn't like you? That I don't know what got into you? Or perhaps I do.
Come on.
We've got a long drive ahead of us.
And after that, you're in the hands of your father.
Let's get you home.
I'll write to you every day.
I'll call you! Maybe you can visit the farm in the holidays.
Yeah.
We'll see.
'Bye, Nancy.
I can hear your brain ticking from here.
I'm trying to decide if the something I want to tell you is something you wanna hear or don't wanna hear.
Well, I tell you everything.
Even things you don't wanna hear.
Like Nanna's bed.
Oh, I still can't talk about that.
Why? It's funny.
Laugh with me.
No! You told me that you and Dad conceived me on Nanna's bed when I was lying in it.
Well, it's your history.
It's the very beginning of you.
So disgusting.
So are you gonna tell me what's ticking? Oh, I can't say it out loud.
OK.
What about charades? No way! OK, why don't you tell me and you don't look at me.
You always have the best ideas.
I know I do.
Where's Dad? - Drinking with Ferris, I think.
- OK.
- Ready? - Yep.
It happened when I was doing something .
.
with someone of the boy variety.
Something that they talk about in that book you gave me.
Something that happens down there.
I don't know how it happened, but my body just did it by itself.
And it felt like tiny rice bubbles exploding on a rainbow.
Congratulations, sweetheart.
You know, some women go their entire lives and never experience exploding rice bubbles on a rainbow.
So, have you told Deb? We're still fighting.
Oh, darling, you should ring her! She's the one who changed personalities, started saying things like 'common' and 'hateful'.
She's the one with the stupid, stuck-up friend.
She should call me.
Oh, who cares about that stuff? You should ring her.
What's a man gotta do to get a feed around here? Cook it? Dunno.
Where's your mum? I dunno.
Come on, let's go down the pub, see if they can throw something together for us.
No, I've already eaten.
I was talking to you.
Pick me, pick me, pick me.
Pick me, please.
Don't let Vicki be Moove Girl.
Pick me, pick me, pick me.
Don't let Vicki be Moove Girl.
Don't let Vicki be Moove Girl.
Pick me, pick me, pick me! Cheryl? Shit! When you're sleeping in Debbie's bed, do you sometimes dream that you are Debbie? That you're going round with Gary? 'Cause you're not.
Did you come all the way here just to ask me that? No.
Has she called home yet? No.
So, is Wee Willie Winkie gonna tell me why she's here? Vicki said the Moove Girl scouts might be at the shops tomorrow.
We'll get another chance.
Perf! Hey, why don't we invite your boyfriend? Mark Woods.
He's not my boyfriend.
- Then what is he? - God.
Please pick me.
You're dressed.
Up early.
Yeah.
Today I'm making everyone breakfast.
Huh.
Is this what your version of 'sorry' looks like? Well, I appreciate the gesture.
I got nothing but stony silence from my daughter.
It'll take a while to forget what she did, I s'pose.
I hope the school knows what to do with her, 'cause I certainly don't.
I'm really sorry, Judy.
I know it must have been hard for you to dob on Debbie.
She's your friend.
I was thinking I could babysit David for you if you wanted to go to dinner.
Make it up to you.
We could try that new French bistro.
Good morning, Mr Rockefeller! I hear they do a terrific coq au vin.
Why not tonight? Can't remember the last time we went to dinner, just the two of us.
Alright.
It's decided.
Cheryl can babysit.
Cool.
Hey.
Don't work at the club tonight.
Hey, don't ask me that.
I'm looking forward to it.
Hey.
Don't go to work at the club tonight.
Well, I've ironed my apron, so I'm going.
Don't work at the club tonight? Hey, does Mark Woods live there? Hey, you know your Nanna likes to ring around about now.
You know what she's like when it's engaged.
She flips her lid.
If I don't get through, I might be forced to go and live with Nanna.
Then it'd be me calling on Saturday mornings to tell you how the weather is in Brisbane.
- And who is this Mark Woods? - Woody.
Put that receiver down, my child.
So, what's happening between you two? - Is he your boyfriend now? - Yeah? No! And I wish everyone would stop asking me that.
Oops.
Don't work at the club tonight.
You've got a really groovy look.
Oh, thank you! So how many times you walk past today? Three? Four? Bet you get to meet heaps of spunks when you're a Moove Girl.
Shit.
So, Woody, tell me what you like about Sue.
Uh her mind.
We have a mutual appreciation for intellect.
Oh, what a poofter! It was you who made all those slug marks on her neck, wasn't it? - I, um - Have you rooted her yet? Oh, off! Oh, shit! A customer! I can hear your mum calling.
I don't hear anything.
Yeah, she wants you to go home.
Your house is on fire.
If it's on fire, then how is she ringing? I'm going.
So, what are you spunky chicks up to for the rest of the day? # Travel all over the countryside # Ask the Leyland, ask the Leyland # Travel all over the countryside Ask the Leyland Brothers I'm shocked.
I have no explanation.
One moment.
David deposited $141.
37 into his Dollarmite account at school yesterday.
I have no idea where he would have gotten that kind of money from.
Thank you.
Thank you, Caroline, for letting me know.
Don't panic.
Don't panic?! Call him in here.
I'm gonna wring his little neck.
David! Come in here, please.
Your mother would like to speak with you about something.
Just me? And I.
Mrs Barry said that you deposited $141.
37 into your Dollarmite account.
- I did.
- David Vickers! Where did you get that amount of money from? - Did you steal it from someone? - No.
I earnt it.
I'm an entrepreneur.
What business are you in that allows you to make $140 deposits? II put money on horses.
And the doggies.
That's not a business.
That's gambling.
Who laid your bets for you? My my business partner.
Is that where you've been sneaking off to? The TAB? Not always.
Sometimes we were just playing with the 'Star Wars' dolls we got.
I don't believe it.
I don't believe it! It was bad enough without telling her the bit about the dolls.
I think you're still going to dinner.
Don't stay up too late.
- Have fun! - Bon appetit! Do you often rub lemons into your head? Do you often creep round like a peeping Tom? Cheryl seems nice.
Dear God, can you please tell me why this town is full of so many bitches? Love, Sue.
If there is a God, I'm sure he wouldn't like that word.
I'm sure SHE has heard it all before.
So, lemon head.
Are you gonna explain yourself? One day I'll be as blonde as Blondie.
Does it work on men? The fact that you ask that makes me question if you are a man.
What separates the men from the boys is ability.
To do what I did the other night with you catapults me way above the boys and into the category of a man.
You are so full of yourself! # Well, you walked into the party # Like you were walking onto a yacht # Your hat strategically dipped below one eye # Your scarf, it was apricot # You had one eye in the mirror as You watched yourself go by I'll get some drinks.
And all the girls dreamed that they'd Well, well, well! Since when do they let beautiful women work behind the bar? Since tonight.
You want a schooner? Uh, a jug.
And a shandy for Gary.
Don't tell the boss, will you? This is my first shift, but I am getting better with every beer that I pull.
- Aren't I, fellas? - Keep pullin', gorgeous.
Reckon they've lost one of their best customers letting her work behind the bar, wouldn't you say? Ferris, who's counting? Well, I would be if you belonged to me.
So, is Yvonne here? - Father-son dinner.
Her idea.
- Oh! A jug.
And a shandy for Gary.
There you go.
Keep the change.
Thanks.
Enjoy.
# Clouds in my coffee And you're so vain Uh, a bottle of your most expensive champagne.
You don't know what it costs.
If David can afford it, so can you.
Yes, madam.
I shoot ducks after school.
I hide a gun in the boot of my car and I shoot, shoot, shoot ducks all afternoon until dinner-time.
Judy.
There.
That's how it feels to be living with someone you don't know.
All men have secrets.
You're a complete stranger to me right now, Martin.
It was something David and I did together.
Just a bit of fun.
It was harmless fun.
What if I told you that I smoked marijuana? I wouldn't believe you.
What if I told you I can't wait for you to nod off to sleep at night so I can light up my marijuana cigarette and think about how many ducks I'm gonna shoot tomorrow? Look, maybe we should call it a night.
You're pretty angry.
I don't know who my family is anymore.
Debbie is a complete stranger who lies.
David has a gambling habit.
And meanwhile, you're ferreting money away and playing with dolls.
They're figurines! The only person in our house that I can trust these days seems to be Cheryl - and that's saying something.
OK.
Now turn around? Look back over your shoulder.
And kiss.
Perfect.
Now, um what are you gonna do with them all? I'm gonna be the next Moove Girl.
Here, sprog.
Keep this one.
Hey! Thank you! Be back after this short beer break.
Who's buying? Just kidding! You still seeing your little Debbie chick? Yeah.
Long time.
Yeah, well I cheated on her and she found out, so she's probably gonna drop me now.
You're a young man, Gary.
Prime of your life, son.
How long's she in boarding school for? Two years.
Two years? Don't waste it on some little girl locked away.
What, you think she's thinking about you when she's pillow-fighting in her nightie? No bloody way.
Gotta keep your hands free.
Never let a woman think she's got control of you, right? That's the secret.
If you know the secret, then how come Mum sent us out to dinner so she can be with Graham? Graham! Well, that bloke walked into my life to teach your mother how to fuck and they rolled him out when the job was done.
They rolled him out 'cause you chased him.
- Says who? - Says everyone.
Just because people let a whole bunch of shit fall out of their mouths, doesn't mean you gotta go round lapping it up.
Look at the people in this room.
Do you think I give a shit what they think of me? Fat, old, sad, broke.
They're rotting.
But we're not like that.
I know you feel it too.
You're a leader, Gary.
It's in your blood.
You're getting stronger every day.
Catching up.
Growing.
You're me.
I don't ever wanna be like you.
But you are me.
You're exactly like me.
Stop stabbing it.
Well, I make these at home.
What makes these ones any better? Apart from the price.
Nothing.
Yours are better.
More champagne.
Judy, settle down.
Oh, you would do anything to keep me at a simmer.
But I will tell you something, Martin.
I am BOILING.
And I'm about to tip over.
Let's not do this here, please.
A whole year, Martin, we spent searching for the problem in our marriage.
Week after week we went to that dusty little room with the potpourri-scented beanbags trying to work out what was wrong, while you sat there, the way you do, with your knuckles on your knees, thinking of someone else.
I wasn't! Nobody cares how hard I try.
I rush home to cook all of you dinner.
Sick of making dinner.
Sick of making lunches.
Sick of waiting for Debbie to call .
.
while trying to convince myself that she wants to speak to me.
I know she only does it out of obligation.
Sick of tending to my marriage, my family.
Tending, tending, tending.
Waiting on all of you like a maid, when all I get back from you are lies! Huh.
Even the bloody lights won't work.
It's a blackout.
I'm sick of expectation.
Sick of thinking that everyone will try as hard as I do.
Sick of all those little piles of coins you leave all around the house.
I'm sick of putting them in the coin jar for you.
Sick of trying.
I'm so bloody sick of trying! I'm filling in the blanks, Martin.
Catching up.
I know why you couldn't look at me.
I know why you disappeared.
You fell in love with Annie, and you were too much of a coward to do anything about it.
Darling, nothing happened.
You wish it happened.
It's not the Don't you touch me, Martin! Don't you dare! Oh, you're sitting here all alone.
Yeah, I didn't know he'd gone until I realised I was talking into thin air.
Kids! - Gary does what Gary wants.
- Sounds familiar.
Yeah, I probably would have done the same when I was his age.
Well, children are like little vessels of karma, aren't they? It's like you get sent a version of yourself without instructions and then you have to spend the rest of your life living with it.
That is exactly what I was trying to tell him.
I think we need a drink.
Waiter, can we have the bill, please? Thud! Thud! Thud! The wife thought it was a branch hitting the roof of the car.
Thud! Thud! Thud! But it sounded too heavy to be a branch.
Thud! Thud! She called out to her husband.
But there was no answer.
Oh, no I don't like the dark.
I do.
As long as you're here with me, Von-Von.
I wanna be.
I always want to be with you.
I've helped people through divorce, death, illness.
I'm the go-to guy for good vibes.
But lying here in this bed, I'm struggling to find the silver lining.
You're a wonderful man, Graham.
I don't feel like a man anymore.
Don't.
They put a pipe in my plumbing.
We can make love without it.
You taught me that.
The lights could come back on.
Let me be your silver lining.
# Though it hurts to go away, it's impossible to stay And there's only one thing to say to you I know you think I'm a prick.
I don't.
People always think that.
Hell, it's easy to think that.
My son thinks it, my wife.
Shit, even I do sometimes.
You know, when I met Yvonne .
.
she was so bright, so pretty.
As if light spilled out of her.
You remind me a lot of her.
Another drink? # Kisses for me Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye You know, power strike, blackout, whatever happened tonight, I'm glad I'm here with you.
Well, bottoms up, Ferris.
Mmm! Look at all this long, curly hair, hey? You are a wildling, Pamela Knight.
You're just a woman of the wild.
Ferris! And in the man's hand, he was dangling .
.
an axe, and .
.
the husband's head.
Hmm.
Lights came on at the worst time.
Yep.
Time for bed.
II'm a little bit scared.
Do you reckon you could sit with me while I go to sleep? Yeah, alright.
But, um But don't get dressed.
Oh, baby.
Oh! I am a lioness.
Gary! Ah, yeah.
Hey, honey.
How'd it go? I got fired.
Oh, my darling bar wench! That's gotta be the shortest career in the history of the working world.
There was a blackout, I punched Ferris in the gob, he hit the deck and I got the sack.
Ferris? What did he do? Oh, darling, you'll hear about it soon enough.
No, no, no, you can't leave me hanging.
What happened? Oh, darling, I just wanna go to bed now, OK? Wait for me! Hello? Yep.
Sue! Hello? You know how Storm Boy felt when he lost Mr Percival? We only saw half of it.
Yeah, but remember we saw the last bit? Well, I'm Storm Boy and you're a pelican.
Mr Percival.
Mr Proud.
Yes.
My eyes are dry from crying.
My skin on my jaw is loose from frowning and my hair is greasy.
It's limp.
My hair is actually limp without you.
I'm really sorry I said those things.
I'm sorry I'm such a terrible friend.
I'm sorry too.
Multiplied by a hundred hundred thousand million.
Which I have in writing and will send to you 'toot sweet'.
Plus infinity? Plus infinity.
I saw Gary.
He thinks you're gonna drop him.
He almost cried to me at the beach, in front of the dunes.
Really? He says he's lost without you.
He wishes he could take it back.
Being away from you is breaking his heart.
Yeah, mine too.
He wanted me to tell you that he loves you.
He said it? He said that word? Right out of his own mouth.