Punky Brewster (1984) s02e06 Episode Script

-You know, Betty, working in the garden is downright therapeutic.
-It sure is, Henry.
-Not to mention economical.
How much money have we saved growing our own vegetables? -Well, let's see.
You got the cost of the plants, soil, the fertilizer.
-The bug spray, the new hose, tools.
-Divide that by two tomatoes and a carrot.
I'd say we're about $150 in the hole.
-Well, nobody said therapy was cheap.
-Want to be a-- air traffic controllers? -How do you play that? -Well, I think first we go on strike, and then we get replaced.
-How dreary.
Hey, let's play Broadway musical.
I'll be the star.
-Why do you get to be the star? -That's why.
-Wow.
How did you learn that? -It's called talent, Punky.
I was born with it.
-Yeah, we're all going to learn that next week.
-Allen.
-Don't worry.
She doesn't know who Jersey Janet is.
-Who's Jersey Janet? -See.
-Jersey Janet was a famous Broadway star.
Now she's teaching tap dancing here in Chicago.
-And you're all taking tap lessons? -Yes Punky, but never mind.
This has absolutely nothing to do with you.
-Cherie, why didn't you tell me about this? -Well, I wanted to, but Margaux said it would hurt your feelings.
-But it hurts my feelings even more when you guys don't tell me.
-Well, that was a risk we had to take.
-Why? -Punky, this is a dance class.
You have to dance in it.
-So? -Punky, you have lots of wonderful qualities.
And goodness knows we love you, but a tree stump has more rhythm than you.
-I've got lots more rhythm than a tree stump.
-Punky, we were just afraid that if you took Jersey Janet's class, you would really embarrass yourself.
-And those of us who know you-- -Well, that's a risk I'll have to take.
-Hey! Love your shoes, Punky.
-Thanks.
I do too.
And by the way, Margaux, when I told Henry I was taking tap classes, he thought I'd be great.
-He's your parent, Punky.
He's required by law to say that.
-He is? - Come on.
That was nothing.
By the time Jersey Janet is through with you, you will all be making grand entrances.
-Can you teach anybody to dance? -Absolutely, honey.
I once taught a cat to dance.
-A cat? -OK kids, now listen.
Before we start, I think it would be just swell of us to honor the tap greats of the past, all those who have shuffled off beyond Buffalo.
So let's bow our heads in a moment of silence.
That ought to do it.
OK, gang.
Get a load of our maestro, Mack.
Mack and I have been together ever since "There's No Business Like Toe Business.
" Mack is going to be the music director of our big show.
-Yeah, we're going to put on a big show in six short weeks at the Fleebo Theatre that is going to knock their socks off.
-OK now, cut the gab.
Come on.
Get in your places, and let's tippy tap toe.
A-brush, brush back.
A-brush, brush back.
A-brush, brush back.
Lovely.
Terrific.
Look at you go.
Wonderful.
That's good.
That's the stuff.
A-brush, brush-- don't worry, honey.
You'll get it.
A-brush, brush back.
A-brush, brush back.
A-brush, brush back.
A-brush, brush back.
A-flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Super.
Good faces, Alice.
Good.
Whoa, way to go.
Don't worry, honey.
You'll get it.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Flap, flap, flap, ball change.
Good, kids.
Hop, triple step.
Hop, triple step.
Hop, triple step, jump up.
Good.
Two more times.
One more time.
Hop, triple step.
Hop, triple step.
Hop, triple step.
Don't worry, honey.
-I know.
I'll get it.
I'll get it.
- Come on.
Okey doke, kids.
Now, it is time to learn the step that separates the hoofers from the heifers, the time step.
Now, watch me do it once.
Here we go.
Just watch me.
OK? Now let's do it all together four times.
Here we go.
And three, four.
OK.
- Miss Janet? -Call me Jersey, honey.
-Do they call it the time step because it takes so much time to learn it? -No, it's a snap.
Come on, Margaux, show us how it's done.
Perfect, honey.
Wow.
You're a regular me.
-Thank you.
I'm willing to be the star of the show.
-I'll keep it in mind.
OK, Allen.
Let's give it a shot.
-I feel like I've got two left feet.
-That's because you got your shoes on wrong.
--OK, Cherie.
How about you? It's coming OK, toots.
You know, you're lucky, honey.
You got a dancer's body.
-I'll remember this moment for the rest of my life.
-Now for our spunky little Punky.
- Come on.
Come on, class.
Come on.
We can learn a lot from Punky.
-How not to do it? How to give it your all.
You know Punky, you've got a lot of personality, and you've got a lot of pizazz.
What we got to do is get that pizazz down to your toes where it will do some good.
Don't worry, honey.
You'll get it.
The cat did.
-I've got to hand it to you, Punky.
You've got nerve.
I wouldn't be able to stand a class where everyone was making fun of me.
-She said I had pizazz.
-That's just a nice way of saying you have the rhythm of a tree stump.
-It is? -OK, everybody.
Let's take it from the top.
And a-tippy tap toe.
-Good.
Now face out front.
That's good, Avery.
Big smile.
Look good! Yeah.
That's my kid.
-Hey, you take passport photos here? -Yes.
-How long does it take? -About 10 minutes.
-Great.
-About 10 minutes.
-Great.
-Great.
Hurry it up.
-Great.
Hurry it up.
Will you, pops? - Taking a trip? - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
-Where to? - Any place.
-Any place? -Yeah.
any place out of the country.
-Get out.
Come on.
Give me a break, here.
-Get out.
-Look, I'll pay extra.
Brand new bills.
Go ahead, smell them.
-Get out.
- Look, what do you need? How about a watch, something digital.
-Out! -Quartz crystal.
What do you need? A betamax? -Out! Out! No wait.
I'm sorry, Punky.
I didn't expect you back so soon.
Did the class finish early? -Sorta.
-You know, Punky, I'm so glad you're getting tap lessons.
-You are? -Yes, and especially from a star like Jersey Janet.
I bet I'm her biggest fan.
-You are? -Indeed.
Now tell me, how did you like her class? -Henry, did you know tap dancing could be bad for your health? -Yeah.
It gives you great, big muscles in your legs.
Then, when you get old, all that muscle turns to fat.
Then you get very close veins, and your feet turn green.
And a doctor has to cut them off, and none of your shoes fit any more.
I ask you.
Is it worth it? I say no.
-Punky, what's really bothering you? Did the class go badly? -I was awful.
I tried to learn, but I got everything all wrong.
-Maybe you should just try harder.
-Maybe I should just quit.
-Punky, quitting can become a habit.
-But Henry, you don't know what it's like having all your friends laughing at you.
- Yes, I know exactly how it feels.
-You do? -When I was a boy, I wanted to be a sailor more than anything.
The happiest day of my life is when I joined the Merchant Marine.
It's also turned out to be the worst day of my life.
-Why? -Because I got seasick.
-So? Lots of people get seasick.
-Walking up the gang plank? From then on, every time the captain said heave ho, the entire crew looked at me.
I was so embarrassed I wanted to jump ship at the first port.
-Did you? -I did not.
I stuck with it day after endless day, wave after endless wave, railing after endless railing.
But one day, out of the blue, I developed my sea legs.
And I was never sick again.
-Do you think I could develop my tap legs? -Punky, if you try your hardest, you can do anything.
-Really? -Really.
- Excuse me, kind sir, do you take passport photos? -Out! -How about a nice car? Some Smurfs for the kid? -Hi.
-Hey, slow down there.
-But I can't slow down.
Today is a big day.
-Wait a second.
What was that? -Today is my tap class.
And Jersey Janet's going to give out the parts for the big show.
Hold it.
Break a leg.
-Henry.
-It means good luck.
What do you have for 16 down? How'd it go, power toes? -And stay away from my feet.
-What happened? -It was even worse than last week.
-All your practicing didn't help? -No, I just got really good at being very bad.
-Want to talk about it? -No.
Henry, you know how Jersey Janet used to say, don't worry, kid, you'll get it.
-Yes.
-Well, when I finished today, she said, kid, it's time to worry.
-And you said if I tried my hardest, I could do anything.
Well, I did, and I became a failure.
-Punky, it's impossible for a person who tries their hardest to be a failure.
-Tell that to my feet.
-You're not failures.
-They don't believe you.
-A failure is someone who gives up without trying.
And that's not my Punky Brewster or her feet.
I'm very proud of all three of you.
-Thanks.
I just wish the three of us could be in the show.
At least one of us, anyway.
-Hold it.
Jersey Janet's not putting you in the show? -How could she? I was the worst dancer in class.
- The night is young.
The skies are clear, so if you want to go walking, dear.
It's delightful.
It's delicious.
It's de-lovely.
I can't remember how this verse goes.
- You're sentimental, and so am I.
- It's delightful.
- It's delicious.
- It's delectable.
- It's delirious.
- It's dilemma.
- It's da-limit.
- It's deluxe.
- It's de-lovely.
-Well.
Hey, you're all right.
Are you here to sign up for my swinging seniors class? -No, I'm not.
-Well, you ought to.
Boy, you remember that song better than I do.
-I heard you sing it at the USO.
I never forgot it.
Nor you.
-Well, if you liked me so much, why didn't you come back stage? - I didn't have the nerve.
I was just a sailor on leave.
You were a big star.
-So what's your name, Sailor? -Seaman first class, Henry Warnimont.
Ma'am.
-Put her there, Hank.
-Usually I dislike being called Hank, but coming from you, it's de-lovely.
-Say, you really know how to sweet talk a lady.
Hank, can I do something for you? -You already have.
- Nice to know I haven't lost my touch.
-Actually, there is something.
Excuse us.
You see, my foster daughter's in your class.
-Punky Brewster.
-She's not so good? -She's a klutz.
-Hey.
Now Punky may have occasional moments of awkwardness, but she's not a klutz.
- Relax.
When I was her age, I was a klutz, myself.
- You? -Yeah.
My toes were all thumbs.
-I can't believe it.
- I was a cow on crutches, but I outgrew it.
You never know with kids.
Today's klutz could be tomorrow's star.
-Does that mean Punky has a chance to be in your show.
- All the kids are in my show.
-But if she can't dance, what is she going to do? -Well, why don't we make it our little surprise? Ladies and gentlemen, this is Simon Fleebo.
The Fleebo theatre is proud to present an international star.
the fastest feet in the Midwest, Miss Jersey Janet.
-Save it for the kids.
Welcome to my production of "Spring Loose.
" Now, before we start, I think it would be just swell of us to honor the tap greats of the past.
So let's bow our heads in a moment of silence.
That ought to do it.
OK, on with the show.
Be my little baby bumblebee.
Buzz around.
Buzz around.
Ba-buzz around.
Bring home all the honey, love, to me.
Little bee, little bee, little bee.
Let me spend the happy hours roving with you amongst the flowers.
And when we get where no one else can see, cuddle up, cuddle up, cuddle up.
- Henry, isn't my Cherie a beautiful little daisy? -Where's Punky? -Don't worry.
Can be.
You and me, you and me, you and me.
Honey, keep a-buzzing please.
I've got a dozen cousin bees, but I want you to be my baby bumblebee.
Honey, keep a-buzzing please.
I've got a dozen cousin bees, but I want you to my baby bumble-- want you to be my baby bumble-- want you to be my baby bumble-- buzz-- bee.
-Thanks, Jersey.
-It was nothing, Hank.
The kid's got pizazz.
So do you, Sailor.
- Cherie.
I must have a green thumb.
I sure have grown a pretty little flower.
-Thanks, Grandma.
-Punky, you were wonderful.
-Thanks.
Maybe next show they'll let me keep my feet on the ground.
Whoa!