Shut Eye s02e06 Episode Script
Crimes and Punishments
1 - Previously on "Shut Eye" - There's an ancient tradition.
The master of the house would allow a faithful servant to buy his freedom.
How much are we talking about? $50,000 should be reasonable.
$100,000.
I don't want this in my shop.
Fonso tell you his last phone bank was raided by the LAPD Task Force? - [SNIFFS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Jesus, Mom.
Get to work.
Come on.
Damn it, Charlie.
Hurry the fuck up.
I'm hearing a voice.
Gina.
He reads our e-mails, and he does a background check.
How could he have known about Gina? You're preying on my wife.
Linda is working very hard to open herself up to radical honesty.
Why do you want to fail? Why do you want to fail? I don't know.
Why don't you ask your friend Damn it, Charlie.
Hurry the fuck up.
I want to feel your teeth on my skin.
I was man enough to keep the money.
[RAVEN CAWS.]
Jun-Bi! [RAPID BEEPING.]
[LIGHT CLINKING.]
[GROANING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
You fucked up.
So did you.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[SWITCH CLICKS.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[WATER SHUTS OFF.]
Hm.
[SWITCH CLICKS.]
[CLANK.]
[GRUNTS.]
Couldn't sleep again? Not really.
Just needed a change of venue.
You know how it is.
I do, indeed.
Hey.
- Here you go.
- Mm.
Oh, uh, if you weigh the beans first, it's much easier to control the strength of the brew.
Hey, Mom, Dad, check this out.
[CHUCKLES.]
Not bad, kiddo.
And he's been practicing his Tarot, too.
Really? Yeah, I even, uh, read Dad the other day.
What'd the cards say? You don't want to know.
Huh.
- Better get going.
- Yeah, I'll drive you.
All right.
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
Hey, you.
Ah, 11:00's good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Right.
I'll be seeing you.
Another hike? Tomorrow.
Nora again? You remaking my itinerary the way you're remaking my coffee? I didn't mean it like that.
It's just indicative.
Indicative of what? Your general mood since we got back.
From our weekend of peace and truth? Yeah.
This last month, you just haven't been quite the same.
Which was the point.
Right.
We can talk about it later.
No, I'm happy to talk about it now.
Why does it bother you so much that I've been spending time with Nora? I don't know.
To me, she'll always be Dr.
White.
So it's just a little weird.
Honestly, she's become my spiritual tune-up coach.
Spiritual tune-up coach? Paz's idea.
It's like an AA sponsor.
Oh.
Maybe she can coach you into making decent coffee.
Hey, Mom.
We're gonna be late.
Love you, too.
Have a good day.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, son.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
These the new wheels? Five-star safety rating, voted best in its class three years running.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
And to think, when we first bought this place, you had just been banished and your life was in the shitter.
You've turned things around, amigo.
- SÃ.
- [CHUCKLES.]
As you think, so shall you become.
Bruce Lee said that.
Fuck him.
You and I got a busy morning.
We got to go over the handicap parking, the new fire code, and we got to deal with this cocksucker pawnshop guy.
He's refusing to pay his rent until we fix his phone line.
Let's start with him.
We don't want him calling the phone company.
[BELL JINGLES.]
Well, if it isn't Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Good morning, Bob.
You call me Mr.
Caygeon, boy.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Caygeon.
That's more like it.
- You hear that? - [STATIC.]
No, you don't.
Because there's nothing on there but static.
Ever since you two fucktards took charge, the phones haven't worked for shit.
Now, call me crazy, but I think I'm being gypped.
Not surprising, considering there's a filthy gypsy running the joint.
[CHUCKLES.]
We prefer the term Romani.
Well, I don't give a fat flying fuck what you prefer.
I want my goddamn phone fixed! Several other tenants have had telecommunication issues.
Rest assured this'll be resolved at no cost to you.
- I got a guy who - - - I want an American.
Not some fence-fairy who doesn't know his head from his asshole.
We will make everything right.
I promise.
How about a discount on this month's rent, hmm? Don't even think about trying to fuck with me.
You don't want to see me when I'm cross.
Now get the hell out of my shop.
[BELL JINGLES.]
Have a nice day.
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
Calm down.
Did you hear the shit that was coming out of his mouth? Well, he's a paying tenant.
He's a racist pig.
I should go back in there and rip his fucking head off.
One cannot be angry with those who have not the capacity for change.
More Bruce Lee shit? Look at the big picture.
We're legit businessmen now.
You sure? 'Cause I could get rid of this sick fuck real quick.
Give me a chance to mediate this.
If I'm gonna talk the talk, I need to walk the walk.
All part of the new you, huh? Mediation.
Okay.
You deal with this fucker.
And I'll bite my tongue, all right? - Jun-Bi.
- Yeah.
I won't let you down.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hmm.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- You're late.
- [SCOFFS.]
Traffic on the 405.
There's nothing I can do.
[SIGHS.]
Take Sepulveda.
It's always moving.
Your tomatoes are coming in so nicely.
I've been waiting and waiting for you to give me some information on the Council.
Honestly, you've given me nothing.
My case is only as good as my evidence, which is only as good as my informant.
I got you all this paper from White Tony's files - - - Which are not the smoking gun I need to bring charges.
I think you're stalling.
I've done everything you've asked me.
Rita, you're not seeing how this plays out.
Well, then enlighten me.
I need photos, dates, and names.
You've got to bring me something now.
If not, the only thing that I have to offer the department is you and your granddaughter.
She's married to the head of the Ranko crime family.
In theory, she could walk away from all this.
But do you really want to take the chance that she doesn't? [SIGHS.]
My private number.
Call me when you get serious.
[CLICKING.]
Oh, hey, Charlie, I almost forgot.
You had a cancellation.
Marty is now coming every other week.
Did he say why? Something about saving money to go to some retreat.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks.
Great.
[DIAL TONE.]
- Business looks a little quiet.
- [RECEIVER CLICKS.]
If you're here about the rent, I've already paid Eduardo.
I know.
We're good.
Good.
I would like to lodge a complaint with my landlord.
What? Your shady call center is fucking with my phone lines.
I'll get our guy straight on it.
Thank you.
But I need you to do something for me.
Are you telling me, or are you asking me? Asking.
Just one little favor.
For me.
Partner? [MUFFLED TALKING.]
That was really, really eye-opening.
Thank you.
I am just a conduit to your own truth.
See you next week, Linda.
Oh, you bet.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Sorry to drop in unannounced, but your sign was on.
No worries.
What brings you to town? Exploring several business opportunities.
When I saw your name on the order, I thought I would drop it by myself.
Oh, well, I appreciate the personal delivery.
[TAPE RIPS.]
Let's see what we got.
Is Charlie not working today? Well, not here.
We've opened another parlor.
He's there most days.
Ah! His and hers.
How is our Charlie handling all this equity? I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Oh, I think you do.
How's Paz? He's curious.
About Charlie.
So are you.
Yes, indeed.
I am curious about your Charlie.
He and Paz didn't seem to click, and, well, frankly, he had an awful weekend.
And I don't like having an unsatisfied customer.
- Really? - Really.
- Where's your store? - A shitty strip mall.
East Valley.
I have always wanted to see a shitty strip mall in the East Valley.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
Call first.
Will do.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
$1,100, $1,200 $1,350.
Well done.
Your math is getting better.
Time to ditch the calculator.
Finish up in your father's office.
- I'm almost done.
- Now, please.
So, what about our other arrangement? I've run into a bit of a cash-flow problem.
Expenses at my new shop.
Fonso's new shop.
Of course.
Our little secret.
Sooner rather than later.
There's something else.
A request from Fonso.
For his mother.
Absolutely not! It's remarkable.
He's changed.
- Ohh! - What's Fonso doing for money? He's an investor in real estate and other major concerns.
I am not going to ask the Council to call a kris to consider his return.
What about tradition? Grandma, you said tradition is all we have.
Is it tradition that LaLa not have a father? That I don't? [HORNS BLARING.]
Okay, okay.
I am listening.
I'm listening! Anyone?! There you are.
None of my business, Ms.
Marks.
Oh, you found it.
Yeah, it was a bitch to find a place open at 3:00 in the morning, but here it is.
- Thank you, Sharon.
- Hm.
You know, I never thought I could feel like a friend to somebody of your type.
From Africa.
I'm not from Africa.
I'm from America.
Whatever.
You know what I mean.
Hmm.
I never thought I could be cool with a Gypsy.
Oh, no, we call ourselves Romani.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Have a drink with me.
Come on.
[GLASSES THUD.]
[CORK POPS, LIQUID POURS.]
How's your mother? Ohh.
Chemo is hell.
But, uh, she's a fighter.
- That's good to hear.
- Mm-hmm.
What about your son? Marcus, is it? Yeah, top 10 in his class in college.
You must be very proud of him.
[CHUCKLES.]
Good Lord knows that I've screwed up more than a few things in my life, but, uh, Marcus isn't one of them.
Here.
To Marcus.
I wish I could be proud of my son.
But Fonso is driven by emotions.
Just like his father was.
Oh, worse.
Fonso's a disaster.
It wasn't always like this, you know, before his wife died.
At times, he was considerate and warm, but now he's all ego and anger and Hm.
Um, people change.
And sometimes they can change back.
Yeah.
Change back to old tricks.
[SCOFFS.]
Mm.
Can I trust you, Sharon? You put your faith in me when nobody else would.
And where I come from, that is an unbreakable bond.
My family is surrounded by enemies.
So far, I was able to be a step ahead.
But I had to make very difficult choices, all to protect my family.
- You know what I mean.
- Mm-hmm.
I need you to do something dangerous for me.
You just tell me where and when, and I'll take care of it.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[SIREN WAILS.]
[HORN BLARES.]
You didn't return my calls.
Someone must have hacked into my phone and erased all my messages.
How's our old friend Paz? You haven't wished any ill on him, have you? I would hate for that to be on your conscience.
Why? What's happened? Paz has gone on a spiritual walkabout to find himself.
He does this from time to time but never normally for this long.
Sounds to me like your guru's a bit of a flake.
You're not entirely wrong.
I'm hardly the first person to find a charismatic flake and transform them into a lucrative business.
Was that before or after you were drummed out of Madison Avenue for false advertising? Someone's been doing their homework.
I took a page out of your book.
My book is fucking "Ulysses.
" Plenty of pages to spare.
For the first day or so, I was racking my brain trying to figure out how you and Paz pull off your con.
And then I realized Paz isn't in on it.
He actually believes he has a mystical gift, which means the only con artist is you.
I like to think that our background checks, our phone-data theft, of which you are well aware, help bring our clients new insight.
Ah, the justification of misdeeds.
Am I taking a page out of your book now? Do you want to know why I had to make false-advertising claims? To appease a client.
Because every client wants you to promise that their product will solve all their consumers' problems.
But it can't.
A tube of toothpaste cannot fill the hole in someone's soul.
But a guru can.
A good one.
One who can cold-read a room in the blink of an eye.
Has a natural affinity with people and carries a certain moral flexibility not unlike my own.
Huh.
I'm flattered.
But, no, thanks.
Find some other sucker you can try to manipulate.
I'm not looking for a sucker.
I'm looking for a partner.
I've made some dubious partnerships in my life.
You have a singular talent, Mr.
Haverford.
It is a shame you are going to waste it here.
Sorry.
I'm nobody's product.
You would rather fail in this shitty mall with clients who cannot afford your services than reach for the stars? I'm sure I do not have to remind you the price on a ticket to one of Paz's retreats.
For when you change your mind.
It is time for another episode of "What's Happening With Charlie?" [CHUCKLES.]
So, he's still experiencing insomnia? Well, not if you ask him.
But I'm seeing all the signs.
I mean, ever since we got back, and I hate to say it, but he is actually kind of normal.
- That's terrifying.
- It kind of is.
Here's the thing.
You know, Charlie always plays his cards close to the vest.
Hmm.
A little Vegas talk.
Yeah.
Ever been? No.
Really? I'll have to take you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Doesn't sound very kid-friendly.
Ah.
Back in my day, it wasn't, but now it's like fucking Disneyland in the desert.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I know you feel like he's shut you out in the past.
Well, the thing is, he's always given me a peek at the cards, but now it's like I don't even know who he is.
Well, my ex was a bit like that.
I suppose it's one of the reasons we split up.
I don't mean to imply that you're gonna - - Sorry.
No, no, no.
Please.
I mean, the fact that we haven't split up - - I think we're in it for the long haul.
That's good.
That makes me happy.
[CHUCKLES.]
You never talk about your ex.
Eh, not much to talk about.
Relationships are complicated.
Yeah, no shit.
Ugh.
- Whew! - [CHUCKLING.]
I know.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
What do you want? How's the knee? Better.
Thanks for asking.
Well, Mrs.
Marks has a message for you.
She hasn't talked to the Council yet on your behalf, but she has had a change of heart and wants LaLa to come back to her dojo as a sign of good faith.
What? [LAUGHS.]
- Daddy! - Ah, baby! Ohh! Hey, sweetheart! [LAUGHS.]
Welcome back! Drina.
I'm going for a walk.
Thanks.
[BELL DINGS.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hi.
You just hanging out at your dad's mall, or Um, more like hiding from my evil mother-in-law, who's making me go to a new school on Monday where I don't know anyone.
Oh, which school? Muirwood.
Well, at least you'll know someone.
Oh.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
Uh, you working at my dad's mall? Uh, I'm helping my dad with his new shop.
Let me guess.
You're a psychic, too? Well, I'm just goofing around.
I can give you a free reading, if you'd like that.
Goddamn right you're not.
I know you must be out your mind! You couldn't fix a phone if your sad, pathetic life depended on it! Now get your black ass out of here before I call the cops! Crazy old bastard! Hey, you touch it, you bought it.
[TELEPHONES RINGING, MUFFLED CONVERSATIONS.]
Make sure you get the security code.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
I'm no Warren Buffet, but business looks good to me.
Tenants are paying their rent.
And with any luck, Bob Fucking Caygeon won't.
Then we can legally evict that miserable, racist cocksucker.
Yeah.
He's an old fuck.
It's a generational thing.
Don't make it right, though.
Can't teach an old dog new tricks, you know? And he is an old dog.
Mm-hmm.
It's time to celebrate.
I thought you were laying off the, uh Nah.
I get to be a dad again.
Ma is letting LaLa come back to our dojo.
Your mother? Man, she's a shark in a fancy black pantsuit.
You can't trust her.
Hey, I'm getting my littlest lady back.
Karma's working for me, so I'm paying it forward.
Time to be a better man.
I overstepped.
Please accept my apology.
You inspire me, Fonso.
To new beginnings and being better men.
Better men.
[GLASSES CLINK.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING, DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
I could ask, "Are you listening?" but what seems more appropriate is, "Are you serious?" You should read a book before judging it by its cover.
And what a cover it is.
You selling them to our clients? My clients.
If they're interested, then, yes.
How much you marking them up? A healthy 60%.
There's the woman I know and love.
I could do less if you prefer.
I was thinking that 60% was actually reasonable.
How about 80%? How about you run your shop, I'll run mine? [SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
- I'm not mad.
I'm just - [LIQUID POURING.]
I'm worried, Charlie.
I just wish you'd tell me what's going on.
They're gone.
What? They're gone.
They're gone? Yeah.
Your vision things? I haven't had one in weeks.
Since the retreat? Uh, maybe, I guess.
Since Paz? Um, I can't be that sure.
Come here.
[SIGHS.]
Where is he? Who? Paz? You know who.
Want to do the honors? I think he'd want you to.
[MATCH STRIKES.]
Mateo's.
I'm so proud of him.
The instructor said that it's rare for someone LaLa's age to skip an entire belt.
[CHUCKLES.]
She never ceases to amaze.
Mateo's mother's uncoordinated.
- What's that? - Nothing.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Excuse me.
Jun-Bi.
Hello? Mr.
Caygeon.
Yes, sir, I'll - - I'll come straight over.
I'll take a look.
Yep, right now.
Caygeon's land line's still fucked.
Fonso.
I'll get it.
All that talk last night about being better men inspired me.
It's my turn to mediate, pay it forward, keep that you know, that good karma going.
- You sure? - You bet.
Don't worry.
I got this.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[STATIC.]
This used to be a nice, respectable neighborhood.
Now it's filled to the rim with immigrants, homos, and deadbeats.
[BLOWS.]
That dumb shit your Gypsy boyfriend sent over didn't do fuck all.
What the hell do you think you can do? You know, Alexander Graham Bell, a goddamn American, invented the telephone.
What the hell am I stuck with here? Dirty Sanchez from TJ trying to fix mine.
As a matter of fact, my son was just learning about Alexander Graham Bell in school.
I think he said the man was born in Scotland and later emigrated to Canada.
Well, at least he wasn't from Oaxaca.
I have to go get my toolbox in my office to get into this jack.
I'll be back after my son's belt ceremony.
Oh, I seen that kid strutting around here.
You ask me, you're gonna have to get a bigger belt for that little gordito pork chop.
[CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANING.]
And just for the record, I'm from East L.
A.
, motherfucker! [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
What's wrong? Mr.
Caygeon and I had a little disagreement.
It's okay.
He's just got a bit of a headache.
You assaulted a tenant! He'll sue the shit out of us.
I had no choice! He insulted Mateo! Karma be damned! Okay, okay.
Replenish your electrolytes.
We'll work it out.
- I was in the shit.
- Oh, come on.
I killed five VC sons of bitches with my bare hands.
I'll be goddamned if I let any illegal immigrant attack me in my own shop! Jun-Bi! Now, there is a saying Take no thought of who is right and who is wrong.
Oh, fuck that! - What are you doing? - I'm calling the cops! My phone doesn't work, remember?! Wait.
We can work this out.
No, fuck you, fucker! - Come on.
Give it to me.
- No! Give me that.
Fighting soldiers from the sky [GRUNTS.]
Fearless men who jump and die Men who mean Just what they say The brave men Of the Green Beret Silver wings upon their chest These are men America's best One hundred men Will test today But only three Win the Green Beret - Stop.
- He'll be a man - They'll test one day - He's out.
Have him win He's not out.
The Green Beret He's dead.
[RAPID BEEPING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You fucked up.
So did you.
So now what? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Fuck! The belt ceremony.
Shit, our kids are out there.
[GRUNTS.]
This is not good.
No shit this is not good.
What are we gonna do? [DOOR RATTLES, KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Hide him.
- He's bleeding out! We're not gonna be able to clean it up in time.
[DOOR RATTLES.]
I got an idea.
Come on.
Wesley.
[APPLAUSE.]
Congratulations.
Mateo.
[APPLAUSE.]
LaLa.
[APPLAUSE.]
Nicely done.
Not bad, all things considered.
Preston.
So much for mediation.
Sophia.
As soon as it's dark, we're gonna get rid of that fucker.
Tresor.
[APPLAUSE.]
[GRUNTING.]
My car? My car? What about your car? Yours has the most interior space in its class.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
As promised.
- What's this? - My weekly contribution.
Actually, it's last week's.
I promise I'll have this week's very shortly.
Your lady friend came by yesterday and paid your debt.
- My lady friend? - The foreigner.
She said you'd understand.
Oh, right.
What So, how does it feel to be a free man? Great.
Thank you, Simza.
Oh, please.
No bullshit.
See you around, gadje.
At last you're returning my calls.
Seems you did more to my phone than just hack into it.
Some kind of app or bot? Indeed.
I'm on my way to your store now, actually, to discuss next steps.
I'm afraid I won't be seeing you.
And your grand gesture doesn't change a thing.
I will be paying you back.
What, all of it? I understand that's a small fortune to you.
To me, it's just a drop in a bucket a bucket you and I could fill together.
And like I told you, I'm done carrying other people's water.
Charlie.
Char Uh, can I have the room, please? This is the machine that's been investigating your family, the Rankos, and the other West Coast Roma crime families.
A network of command centers.
- A dozen federal agents.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
And here's one of my favorites now.
Agent Sims is our lead FBI investigator.
This is Rita Marks.
I've read your file.
Bit of a risk bringing her here.
Rita loves her granddaughters a little too much to say anything.
I still think we should wire her.
Oh, no, that wouldn't be necessary.
Well, your level of future cooperation will determine all that.
It appears Rita has finally brought us something useful.
Her son is running a psychic call center out of a strip mall.
Likely a front for interstate wire fraud and credit-card theft.
I want to start surveillance.
I know this guy.
Eduardo Bustamante.
We've had our eye on him for something else.
He wrapped up in this? Seems so.
If Fonso Marks is working with Bustamante, it must be something serious.
We could use this.
Except Fonso can't help us bring down the crime families.
He's banished.
What if he wasn't? The Strength card represents a woman with courage.
You could be a diplomat.
A diplomat? Really? Next card.
The Empress.
Okay, you have wealth, a lot of things in abundance.
The card represents motherhood and pregnancy.
- The cards are totally wrong.
- The cards don't lie.
- So you say.
- They don't.
Okay.
Go on.
The Lovers.
Okay.
This is where it gets interesting.
You're interpreting the cards however you want.
No, I-I have I may have a little wiggle room, but the cards are what they are.
The Lovers represents the subconscious mind in a woman and the conscious in a man.
That's typical.
Let's skip this one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh The Hierophant.
So, you are captive to ritual, religion, and servitude.
This could be a family situation.
Basically, what what it means is you have a lot of things you're supposed to obey.
No shit.
I'm a teen bride in a Roma family.
See, that's what I'm saying.
The cards don't lie.
[CHUCKLES.]
Um, but what's interesting about The Hierophant is you can disobey if you want to.
Do the cards tell you how to do that? If only.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER.]
[MUFFLED CONVERSATION.]
Drina.
I didn't know you were here.
I'm surprised to see you.
Uh, could you help me with something? Okay.
Be right back.
What is she doing in our house? We're just hanging out, Mom.
That okay? No, it's not okay.
That's Fonso's daughter.
She's married, Nick, to Simza's oldest son, who is now the head of the crime family.
If they knew that she was alone in this house - - - What's the big deal? She's not allowed to hang out with gadje like us.
Mom.
We're just friends.
In case you haven't noticed, I don't have many.
I'll talk to him.
- You better.
- He won't talk to me.
It's not like they're dating or going steady or whatever the fuck kids do these days.
[SIGHS.]
They're BFFs, whatever that means.
I'll talk to him.
Which reminds me, why didn't you talk to me? - What? - Today.
I called you like six times after the Drina incident.
Oh, I need a new phone.
Maybe I can get her to pay for it.
- Maggie? - Yeah.
She, uh, wants to take my talents to a larger audience.
Does she? She paid off our debt to White T.
Sort of a down payment on me.
Sort of.
I said no.
You should have said yes.
I can keep what's good for me separate from what's good for you.
You have something, Charles K.
Haverford.
If that's even your name.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Hello.
Hello? Hello? Hello?!
The master of the house would allow a faithful servant to buy his freedom.
How much are we talking about? $50,000 should be reasonable.
$100,000.
I don't want this in my shop.
Fonso tell you his last phone bank was raided by the LAPD Task Force? - [SNIFFS.]
- [DOOR OPENS.]
Jesus, Mom.
Get to work.
Come on.
Damn it, Charlie.
Hurry the fuck up.
I'm hearing a voice.
Gina.
He reads our e-mails, and he does a background check.
How could he have known about Gina? You're preying on my wife.
Linda is working very hard to open herself up to radical honesty.
Why do you want to fail? Why do you want to fail? I don't know.
Why don't you ask your friend Damn it, Charlie.
Hurry the fuck up.
I want to feel your teeth on my skin.
I was man enough to keep the money.
[RAVEN CAWS.]
Jun-Bi! [RAPID BEEPING.]
[LIGHT CLINKING.]
[GROANING.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GRUNTS.]
You fucked up.
So did you.
[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
[SWITCH CLICKS.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
[WATER SHUTS OFF.]
Hm.
[SWITCH CLICKS.]
[CLANK.]
[GRUNTS.]
Couldn't sleep again? Not really.
Just needed a change of venue.
You know how it is.
I do, indeed.
Hey.
- Here you go.
- Mm.
Oh, uh, if you weigh the beans first, it's much easier to control the strength of the brew.
Hey, Mom, Dad, check this out.
[CHUCKLES.]
Not bad, kiddo.
And he's been practicing his Tarot, too.
Really? Yeah, I even, uh, read Dad the other day.
What'd the cards say? You don't want to know.
Huh.
- Better get going.
- Yeah, I'll drive you.
All right.
[RINGTONE PLAYING.]
[WATER RUNNING.]
Hey, you.
Ah, 11:00's good.
[CHUCKLES.]
Right.
I'll be seeing you.
Another hike? Tomorrow.
Nora again? You remaking my itinerary the way you're remaking my coffee? I didn't mean it like that.
It's just indicative.
Indicative of what? Your general mood since we got back.
From our weekend of peace and truth? Yeah.
This last month, you just haven't been quite the same.
Which was the point.
Right.
We can talk about it later.
No, I'm happy to talk about it now.
Why does it bother you so much that I've been spending time with Nora? I don't know.
To me, she'll always be Dr.
White.
So it's just a little weird.
Honestly, she's become my spiritual tune-up coach.
Spiritual tune-up coach? Paz's idea.
It's like an AA sponsor.
Oh.
Maybe she can coach you into making decent coffee.
Hey, Mom.
We're gonna be late.
Love you, too.
Have a good day.
[DOOR OPENS.]
- Bye, Dad.
- Bye, son.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
[CLEARS THROAT.]
These the new wheels? Five-star safety rating, voted best in its class three years running.
[BOTH CHUCKLE.]
And to think, when we first bought this place, you had just been banished and your life was in the shitter.
You've turned things around, amigo.
- SÃ.
- [CHUCKLES.]
As you think, so shall you become.
Bruce Lee said that.
Fuck him.
You and I got a busy morning.
We got to go over the handicap parking, the new fire code, and we got to deal with this cocksucker pawnshop guy.
He's refusing to pay his rent until we fix his phone line.
Let's start with him.
We don't want him calling the phone company.
[BELL JINGLES.]
Well, if it isn't Tweedledee and Tweedledum.
Good morning, Bob.
You call me Mr.
Caygeon, boy.
Yes, sir, Mr.
Caygeon.
That's more like it.
- You hear that? - [STATIC.]
No, you don't.
Because there's nothing on there but static.
Ever since you two fucktards took charge, the phones haven't worked for shit.
Now, call me crazy, but I think I'm being gypped.
Not surprising, considering there's a filthy gypsy running the joint.
[CHUCKLES.]
We prefer the term Romani.
Well, I don't give a fat flying fuck what you prefer.
I want my goddamn phone fixed! Several other tenants have had telecommunication issues.
Rest assured this'll be resolved at no cost to you.
- I got a guy who - - - I want an American.
Not some fence-fairy who doesn't know his head from his asshole.
We will make everything right.
I promise.
How about a discount on this month's rent, hmm? Don't even think about trying to fuck with me.
You don't want to see me when I'm cross.
Now get the hell out of my shop.
[BELL JINGLES.]
Have a nice day.
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.
Calm down.
Did you hear the shit that was coming out of his mouth? Well, he's a paying tenant.
He's a racist pig.
I should go back in there and rip his fucking head off.
One cannot be angry with those who have not the capacity for change.
More Bruce Lee shit? Look at the big picture.
We're legit businessmen now.
You sure? 'Cause I could get rid of this sick fuck real quick.
Give me a chance to mediate this.
If I'm gonna talk the talk, I need to walk the walk.
All part of the new you, huh? Mediation.
Okay.
You deal with this fucker.
And I'll bite my tongue, all right? - Jun-Bi.
- Yeah.
I won't let you down.
[DOOR OPENS.]
Hmm.
[DOOR CLOSES.]
- You're late.
- [SCOFFS.]
Traffic on the 405.
There's nothing I can do.
[SIGHS.]
Take Sepulveda.
It's always moving.
Your tomatoes are coming in so nicely.
I've been waiting and waiting for you to give me some information on the Council.
Honestly, you've given me nothing.
My case is only as good as my evidence, which is only as good as my informant.
I got you all this paper from White Tony's files - - - Which are not the smoking gun I need to bring charges.
I think you're stalling.
I've done everything you've asked me.
Rita, you're not seeing how this plays out.
Well, then enlighten me.
I need photos, dates, and names.
You've got to bring me something now.
If not, the only thing that I have to offer the department is you and your granddaughter.
She's married to the head of the Ranko crime family.
In theory, she could walk away from all this.
But do you really want to take the chance that she doesn't? [SIGHS.]
My private number.
Call me when you get serious.
[CLICKING.]
Oh, hey, Charlie, I almost forgot.
You had a cancellation.
Marty is now coming every other week.
Did he say why? Something about saving money to go to some retreat.
[SIGHS.]
Thanks.
Great.
[DIAL TONE.]
- Business looks a little quiet.
- [RECEIVER CLICKS.]
If you're here about the rent, I've already paid Eduardo.
I know.
We're good.
Good.
I would like to lodge a complaint with my landlord.
What? Your shady call center is fucking with my phone lines.
I'll get our guy straight on it.
Thank you.
But I need you to do something for me.
Are you telling me, or are you asking me? Asking.
Just one little favor.
For me.
Partner? [MUFFLED TALKING.]
That was really, really eye-opening.
Thank you.
I am just a conduit to your own truth.
See you next week, Linda.
Oh, you bet.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
Sorry to drop in unannounced, but your sign was on.
No worries.
What brings you to town? Exploring several business opportunities.
When I saw your name on the order, I thought I would drop it by myself.
Oh, well, I appreciate the personal delivery.
[TAPE RIPS.]
Let's see what we got.
Is Charlie not working today? Well, not here.
We've opened another parlor.
He's there most days.
Ah! His and hers.
How is our Charlie handling all this equity? I'm not sure I know what you mean.
Oh, I think you do.
How's Paz? He's curious.
About Charlie.
So are you.
Yes, indeed.
I am curious about your Charlie.
He and Paz didn't seem to click, and, well, frankly, he had an awful weekend.
And I don't like having an unsatisfied customer.
- Really? - Really.
- Where's your store? - A shitty strip mall.
East Valley.
I have always wanted to see a shitty strip mall in the East Valley.
[CHUCKLES.]
Thank you.
Call first.
Will do.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
$1,100, $1,200 $1,350.
Well done.
Your math is getting better.
Time to ditch the calculator.
Finish up in your father's office.
- I'm almost done.
- Now, please.
So, what about our other arrangement? I've run into a bit of a cash-flow problem.
Expenses at my new shop.
Fonso's new shop.
Of course.
Our little secret.
Sooner rather than later.
There's something else.
A request from Fonso.
For his mother.
Absolutely not! It's remarkable.
He's changed.
- Ohh! - What's Fonso doing for money? He's an investor in real estate and other major concerns.
I am not going to ask the Council to call a kris to consider his return.
What about tradition? Grandma, you said tradition is all we have.
Is it tradition that LaLa not have a father? That I don't? [HORNS BLARING.]
Okay, okay.
I am listening.
I'm listening! Anyone?! There you are.
None of my business, Ms.
Marks.
Oh, you found it.
Yeah, it was a bitch to find a place open at 3:00 in the morning, but here it is.
- Thank you, Sharon.
- Hm.
You know, I never thought I could feel like a friend to somebody of your type.
From Africa.
I'm not from Africa.
I'm from America.
Whatever.
You know what I mean.
Hmm.
I never thought I could be cool with a Gypsy.
Oh, no, we call ourselves Romani.
Sit down.
Sit down.
Have a drink with me.
Come on.
[GLASSES THUD.]
[CORK POPS, LIQUID POURS.]
How's your mother? Ohh.
Chemo is hell.
But, uh, she's a fighter.
- That's good to hear.
- Mm-hmm.
What about your son? Marcus, is it? Yeah, top 10 in his class in college.
You must be very proud of him.
[CHUCKLES.]
Good Lord knows that I've screwed up more than a few things in my life, but, uh, Marcus isn't one of them.
Here.
To Marcus.
I wish I could be proud of my son.
But Fonso is driven by emotions.
Just like his father was.
Oh, worse.
Fonso's a disaster.
It wasn't always like this, you know, before his wife died.
At times, he was considerate and warm, but now he's all ego and anger and Hm.
Um, people change.
And sometimes they can change back.
Yeah.
Change back to old tricks.
[SCOFFS.]
Mm.
Can I trust you, Sharon? You put your faith in me when nobody else would.
And where I come from, that is an unbreakable bond.
My family is surrounded by enemies.
So far, I was able to be a step ahead.
But I had to make very difficult choices, all to protect my family.
- You know what I mean.
- Mm-hmm.
I need you to do something dangerous for me.
You just tell me where and when, and I'll take care of it.
[WIND HOWLING.]
[SIREN WAILS.]
[HORN BLARES.]
You didn't return my calls.
Someone must have hacked into my phone and erased all my messages.
How's our old friend Paz? You haven't wished any ill on him, have you? I would hate for that to be on your conscience.
Why? What's happened? Paz has gone on a spiritual walkabout to find himself.
He does this from time to time but never normally for this long.
Sounds to me like your guru's a bit of a flake.
You're not entirely wrong.
I'm hardly the first person to find a charismatic flake and transform them into a lucrative business.
Was that before or after you were drummed out of Madison Avenue for false advertising? Someone's been doing their homework.
I took a page out of your book.
My book is fucking "Ulysses.
" Plenty of pages to spare.
For the first day or so, I was racking my brain trying to figure out how you and Paz pull off your con.
And then I realized Paz isn't in on it.
He actually believes he has a mystical gift, which means the only con artist is you.
I like to think that our background checks, our phone-data theft, of which you are well aware, help bring our clients new insight.
Ah, the justification of misdeeds.
Am I taking a page out of your book now? Do you want to know why I had to make false-advertising claims? To appease a client.
Because every client wants you to promise that their product will solve all their consumers' problems.
But it can't.
A tube of toothpaste cannot fill the hole in someone's soul.
But a guru can.
A good one.
One who can cold-read a room in the blink of an eye.
Has a natural affinity with people and carries a certain moral flexibility not unlike my own.
Huh.
I'm flattered.
But, no, thanks.
Find some other sucker you can try to manipulate.
I'm not looking for a sucker.
I'm looking for a partner.
I've made some dubious partnerships in my life.
You have a singular talent, Mr.
Haverford.
It is a shame you are going to waste it here.
Sorry.
I'm nobody's product.
You would rather fail in this shitty mall with clients who cannot afford your services than reach for the stars? I'm sure I do not have to remind you the price on a ticket to one of Paz's retreats.
For when you change your mind.
It is time for another episode of "What's Happening With Charlie?" [CHUCKLES.]
So, he's still experiencing insomnia? Well, not if you ask him.
But I'm seeing all the signs.
I mean, ever since we got back, and I hate to say it, but he is actually kind of normal.
- That's terrifying.
- It kind of is.
Here's the thing.
You know, Charlie always plays his cards close to the vest.
Hmm.
A little Vegas talk.
Yeah.
Ever been? No.
Really? I'll have to take you.
[CHUCKLES.]
Doesn't sound very kid-friendly.
Ah.
Back in my day, it wasn't, but now it's like fucking Disneyland in the desert.
[CHUCKLES.]
Well, I know you feel like he's shut you out in the past.
Well, the thing is, he's always given me a peek at the cards, but now it's like I don't even know who he is.
Well, my ex was a bit like that.
I suppose it's one of the reasons we split up.
I don't mean to imply that you're gonna - - Sorry.
No, no, no.
Please.
I mean, the fact that we haven't split up - - I think we're in it for the long haul.
That's good.
That makes me happy.
[CHUCKLES.]
You never talk about your ex.
Eh, not much to talk about.
Relationships are complicated.
Yeah, no shit.
Ugh.
- Whew! - [CHUCKLING.]
I know.
[ENGINE SHUTS OFF.]
What do you want? How's the knee? Better.
Thanks for asking.
Well, Mrs.
Marks has a message for you.
She hasn't talked to the Council yet on your behalf, but she has had a change of heart and wants LaLa to come back to her dojo as a sign of good faith.
What? [LAUGHS.]
- Daddy! - Ah, baby! Ohh! Hey, sweetheart! [LAUGHS.]
Welcome back! Drina.
I'm going for a walk.
Thanks.
[BELL DINGS.]
- Hey.
- Hey.
[CHUCKLES.]
Hi.
You just hanging out at your dad's mall, or Um, more like hiding from my evil mother-in-law, who's making me go to a new school on Monday where I don't know anyone.
Oh, which school? Muirwood.
Well, at least you'll know someone.
Oh.
Shit.
I'm sorry.
No, no, no, it's fine.
It's fine.
Uh, you working at my dad's mall? Uh, I'm helping my dad with his new shop.
Let me guess.
You're a psychic, too? Well, I'm just goofing around.
I can give you a free reading, if you'd like that.
Goddamn right you're not.
I know you must be out your mind! You couldn't fix a phone if your sad, pathetic life depended on it! Now get your black ass out of here before I call the cops! Crazy old bastard! Hey, you touch it, you bought it.
[TELEPHONES RINGING, MUFFLED CONVERSATIONS.]
Make sure you get the security code.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING.]
I'm no Warren Buffet, but business looks good to me.
Tenants are paying their rent.
And with any luck, Bob Fucking Caygeon won't.
Then we can legally evict that miserable, racist cocksucker.
Yeah.
He's an old fuck.
It's a generational thing.
Don't make it right, though.
Can't teach an old dog new tricks, you know? And he is an old dog.
Mm-hmm.
It's time to celebrate.
I thought you were laying off the, uh Nah.
I get to be a dad again.
Ma is letting LaLa come back to our dojo.
Your mother? Man, she's a shark in a fancy black pantsuit.
You can't trust her.
Hey, I'm getting my littlest lady back.
Karma's working for me, so I'm paying it forward.
Time to be a better man.
I overstepped.
Please accept my apology.
You inspire me, Fonso.
To new beginnings and being better men.
Better men.
[GLASSES CLINK.]
[INSECTS CHIRPING, DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE.]
I could ask, "Are you listening?" but what seems more appropriate is, "Are you serious?" You should read a book before judging it by its cover.
And what a cover it is.
You selling them to our clients? My clients.
If they're interested, then, yes.
How much you marking them up? A healthy 60%.
There's the woman I know and love.
I could do less if you prefer.
I was thinking that 60% was actually reasonable.
How about 80%? How about you run your shop, I'll run mine? [SIGHS.]
I'm sorry.
- I'm not mad.
I'm just - [LIQUID POURING.]
I'm worried, Charlie.
I just wish you'd tell me what's going on.
They're gone.
What? They're gone.
They're gone? Yeah.
Your vision things? I haven't had one in weeks.
Since the retreat? Uh, maybe, I guess.
Since Paz? Um, I can't be that sure.
Come here.
[SIGHS.]
Where is he? Who? Paz? You know who.
Want to do the honors? I think he'd want you to.
[MATCH STRIKES.]
Mateo's.
I'm so proud of him.
The instructor said that it's rare for someone LaLa's age to skip an entire belt.
[CHUCKLES.]
She never ceases to amaze.
Mateo's mother's uncoordinated.
- What's that? - Nothing.
[TELEPHONE RINGING.]
Excuse me.
Jun-Bi.
Hello? Mr.
Caygeon.
Yes, sir, I'll - - I'll come straight over.
I'll take a look.
Yep, right now.
Caygeon's land line's still fucked.
Fonso.
I'll get it.
All that talk last night about being better men inspired me.
It's my turn to mediate, pay it forward, keep that you know, that good karma going.
- You sure? - You bet.
Don't worry.
I got this.
[DOOR OPENS.]
[STATIC.]
This used to be a nice, respectable neighborhood.
Now it's filled to the rim with immigrants, homos, and deadbeats.
[BLOWS.]
That dumb shit your Gypsy boyfriend sent over didn't do fuck all.
What the hell do you think you can do? You know, Alexander Graham Bell, a goddamn American, invented the telephone.
What the hell am I stuck with here? Dirty Sanchez from TJ trying to fix mine.
As a matter of fact, my son was just learning about Alexander Graham Bell in school.
I think he said the man was born in Scotland and later emigrated to Canada.
Well, at least he wasn't from Oaxaca.
I have to go get my toolbox in my office to get into this jack.
I'll be back after my son's belt ceremony.
Oh, I seen that kid strutting around here.
You ask me, you're gonna have to get a bigger belt for that little gordito pork chop.
[CHUCKLES.]
[GRUNTS.]
[GROANING.]
And just for the record, I'm from East L.
A.
, motherfucker! [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES.]
What's wrong? Mr.
Caygeon and I had a little disagreement.
It's okay.
He's just got a bit of a headache.
You assaulted a tenant! He'll sue the shit out of us.
I had no choice! He insulted Mateo! Karma be damned! Okay, okay.
Replenish your electrolytes.
We'll work it out.
- I was in the shit.
- Oh, come on.
I killed five VC sons of bitches with my bare hands.
I'll be goddamned if I let any illegal immigrant attack me in my own shop! Jun-Bi! Now, there is a saying Take no thought of who is right and who is wrong.
Oh, fuck that! - What are you doing? - I'm calling the cops! My phone doesn't work, remember?! Wait.
We can work this out.
No, fuck you, fucker! - Come on.
Give it to me.
- No! Give me that.
Fighting soldiers from the sky [GRUNTS.]
Fearless men who jump and die Men who mean Just what they say The brave men Of the Green Beret Silver wings upon their chest These are men America's best One hundred men Will test today But only three Win the Green Beret - Stop.
- He'll be a man - They'll test one day - He's out.
Have him win He's not out.
The Green Beret He's dead.
[RAPID BEEPING.]
[GRUNTS.]
[BREATHING HEAVILY.]
You fucked up.
So did you.
So now what? [INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS.]
Fuck! The belt ceremony.
Shit, our kids are out there.
[GRUNTS.]
This is not good.
No shit this is not good.
What are we gonna do? [DOOR RATTLES, KNOCK ON DOOR.]
- Hide him.
- He's bleeding out! We're not gonna be able to clean it up in time.
[DOOR RATTLES.]
I got an idea.
Come on.
Wesley.
[APPLAUSE.]
Congratulations.
Mateo.
[APPLAUSE.]
LaLa.
[APPLAUSE.]
Nicely done.
Not bad, all things considered.
Preston.
So much for mediation.
Sophia.
As soon as it's dark, we're gonna get rid of that fucker.
Tresor.
[APPLAUSE.]
[GRUNTING.]
My car? My car? What about your car? Yours has the most interior space in its class.
[GRUNTING.]
[EXHALES SHARPLY.]
[BUTTON CLICKS.]
As promised.
- What's this? - My weekly contribution.
Actually, it's last week's.
I promise I'll have this week's very shortly.
Your lady friend came by yesterday and paid your debt.
- My lady friend? - The foreigner.
She said you'd understand.
Oh, right.
What So, how does it feel to be a free man? Great.
Thank you, Simza.
Oh, please.
No bullshit.
See you around, gadje.
At last you're returning my calls.
Seems you did more to my phone than just hack into it.
Some kind of app or bot? Indeed.
I'm on my way to your store now, actually, to discuss next steps.
I'm afraid I won't be seeing you.
And your grand gesture doesn't change a thing.
I will be paying you back.
What, all of it? I understand that's a small fortune to you.
To me, it's just a drop in a bucket a bucket you and I could fill together.
And like I told you, I'm done carrying other people's water.
Charlie.
Char Uh, can I have the room, please? This is the machine that's been investigating your family, the Rankos, and the other West Coast Roma crime families.
A network of command centers.
- A dozen federal agents.
- [DOOR OPENS.]
And here's one of my favorites now.
Agent Sims is our lead FBI investigator.
This is Rita Marks.
I've read your file.
Bit of a risk bringing her here.
Rita loves her granddaughters a little too much to say anything.
I still think we should wire her.
Oh, no, that wouldn't be necessary.
Well, your level of future cooperation will determine all that.
It appears Rita has finally brought us something useful.
Her son is running a psychic call center out of a strip mall.
Likely a front for interstate wire fraud and credit-card theft.
I want to start surveillance.
I know this guy.
Eduardo Bustamante.
We've had our eye on him for something else.
He wrapped up in this? Seems so.
If Fonso Marks is working with Bustamante, it must be something serious.
We could use this.
Except Fonso can't help us bring down the crime families.
He's banished.
What if he wasn't? The Strength card represents a woman with courage.
You could be a diplomat.
A diplomat? Really? Next card.
The Empress.
Okay, you have wealth, a lot of things in abundance.
The card represents motherhood and pregnancy.
- The cards are totally wrong.
- The cards don't lie.
- So you say.
- They don't.
Okay.
Go on.
The Lovers.
Okay.
This is where it gets interesting.
You're interpreting the cards however you want.
No, I-I have I may have a little wiggle room, but the cards are what they are.
The Lovers represents the subconscious mind in a woman and the conscious in a man.
That's typical.
Let's skip this one.
[CHUCKLES.]
Uh The Hierophant.
So, you are captive to ritual, religion, and servitude.
This could be a family situation.
Basically, what what it means is you have a lot of things you're supposed to obey.
No shit.
I'm a teen bride in a Roma family.
See, that's what I'm saying.
The cards don't lie.
[CHUCKLES.]
Um, but what's interesting about The Hierophant is you can disobey if you want to.
Do the cards tell you how to do that? If only.
[BOTH CHUCKLING.]
[MUFFLED LAUGHTER.]
[MUFFLED CONVERSATION.]
Drina.
I didn't know you were here.
I'm surprised to see you.
Uh, could you help me with something? Okay.
Be right back.
What is she doing in our house? We're just hanging out, Mom.
That okay? No, it's not okay.
That's Fonso's daughter.
She's married, Nick, to Simza's oldest son, who is now the head of the crime family.
If they knew that she was alone in this house - - - What's the big deal? She's not allowed to hang out with gadje like us.
Mom.
We're just friends.
In case you haven't noticed, I don't have many.
I'll talk to him.
- You better.
- He won't talk to me.
It's not like they're dating or going steady or whatever the fuck kids do these days.
[SIGHS.]
They're BFFs, whatever that means.
I'll talk to him.
Which reminds me, why didn't you talk to me? - What? - Today.
I called you like six times after the Drina incident.
Oh, I need a new phone.
Maybe I can get her to pay for it.
- Maggie? - Yeah.
She, uh, wants to take my talents to a larger audience.
Does she? She paid off our debt to White T.
Sort of a down payment on me.
Sort of.
I said no.
You should have said yes.
I can keep what's good for me separate from what's good for you.
You have something, Charles K.
Haverford.
If that's even your name.
[CAR DOOR CLOSES.]
Hello.
Hello? Hello? Hello?!