The Adventures of Superboy (1988) s02e06 Episode Script
Bizarro the Thing of Steel
Professor.
Oh, you startled me.
I'm sorry, Professor.
That's quite a storm out there.
I guess it is.
So this is it? That's it.
A duplicating machine.
If it really works, Professor.
It will be one of the most important inventions in the history of mankind.
Ah, ha.
Let's see if it does work first.
Are you ready? Ah, it's, it's square, it's white, doesn't smell? I don't understand what went wrong here.
It was your first attempt, Professor, you'll work the bugs out.
I thought I had it all figured out.
I have no idea what went wrong.
Are you alright, Superboy? I'm fine.
My God, look at it, Superboy.
A duplicate of you.
Sort of.
It's uncanny.
He looks so Bizarre.
Bizarro? You call me Bizarro? He can talk.
Bizarro.
I said he was bizarre.
Even his hearing is defective.
Is he like me? An imperfect you.
Definately not human.
Where am me? Who am you? I'm Superboy.
Why you dressed like me? Superboy.
The duplicating machine.
Never mind.
It's part of both of us.
How me get here? This duplicating machine, it created you.
This machine, it make me? It was an accident.
Me accident? No.
That's not what he meant.
Me no accident.
This machine no good.
Me go! I can't let you go.
Me go! What have I done? What have I created? I've got to stop him.
But he's got all your powers.
With that warped mind of his, there's no telling what damage he might do.
Look at my machine.
I don't know how I'll ever get this fixed.
Do what you can here, Professor.
I'll contact you when I find him.
If I find him.
Ah, people, me make friends.
How are you? Look, Mom, Superboy! Hello, little boy.
Hold me, Mommy, look at his face.
Keep away! Keep away! Me no monster, me Bizarro.
Uh, what is it? Very ugly dress you are wearing.
- Ah.
- Me like it a lot.
Why you scream? Me Bizarro, me friend.
Why me do different from Superboy? Must be glass.
Glass no good.
That isn't Superboy.
Me Bizarro.
Me just like Superboy, almost.
I don't have disguise.
That must be problem.
Ah, me remember now.
Me have lots to learn, me go to college.
Yes, Officer, yes, that does help.
He was seen at the corner of Orange and Cyprus around ten? OK.
I'll call back.
Nice costume, Clark.
Gee, I barely recognise you.
Where is your costume.
The party starts in a little while.
Oh, gee.
The costume party.
Um, I was studying all night in the library and I forgot.
You're my date, remember.
Ah, I'm your date.
[ phone rings .]
Hello? This is Professor Peterson.
I'm trying to contact Superboy.
I might be able to get to him.
Tell him I have some terrible news.
I'm calling him about my experiment.
Tell him he's got to come to my lab as soon as he can.
Yes, I'll relay the message.
So I take it I'm going alone, huh? I, I had a little problem last night, um I kind of messed up when I ironed my costume.
I was hoping you'd understand.
Oh, I understand, Clark.
I understand that I just don't make plans with you anymore.
Yeah, Clark, I mean, first you don't come home at all last night, now you don't have a costume for the party.
I'm really sorry, Andy, but I really appreciate you guys understanding.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
You know, sometimes I can't figure him out.
If I didn't know better I'd think he's living a double life.
Yeah, maybe he's a CIA agent.
Yeah, right.
Lana, what say we slam some beers and do the wild thing.
I'll meet you at the party, OK? OK.
Now, no-one know my secret.
Me look just like Kent Clark.
Me go where he lives and be with friends.
Andy and Lana.
What? Hi, me am Kent Clark and me your good friend.
Clark? Who else? Of course, me Kent Clark.
You sly dog! You faked all that with the costume and you snuck out and changed into that mask, great.
How'd you put that on? You not Superboy.
Why you wear costume? Oh, I get it.
Play along.
Listen, buddy, it's getting late, we've got to amscram.
Coming? You want me go with you? You're great.
Andy, why you not fly to party? Oh, Clark, quite the comedian.
Have to admit.
I never expected it.
You've come out of the closet, ah.
Why me be in closet? - It just exploded? - Yeah.
There's got to b e a reason.
I think it's got something to do with the unstable properties of any non-living thing matter created by my machine.
What your saying is this, Bizarro creature is a walking time bomb? I haven't had time to do all the calculations yet but I think the size has a direct bearing on the length of time before self-detonation.
Are you telling me I have to destroy him? Or at least put him out of commission.
But he's like a part of me.
Like something I never had.
A brother.
I can't kill him.
He's not really alive.
I guess I'll have to use something that I was hoping I wouldn't.
- What? - Kryptonite.
The one thing that can destroy me.
Destroy us.
Hi, Clark.
Hey, Clark.
That was a really cool white mask you had on.
White mask? Didn't I just see you leave with Andy? Excuse me.
Well, Clarke, what did I tell ya.
All the girls from Beta Fi are here.
What a costume! What costume? Golly, Clark.
Nice line.
Andy, why you laugh so much? Well, I guess it's just the kind of guy I am.
Ow, did you pad D that? Come on, let's go some eats.
Hey, you should be glad Clark couldn't make it to the party today.
Otherwise you wouldn't get the chance to be here with me.
I wish you would stop picking on him.
He really is a great guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you keep telling me.
Hey, Lana, look who I found.
Clark? That am my name.
I can't believe it.
Look, if you didn't want to come with me you could've just told me, instead of making me think you weren't coming at all.
You know Bizarro coming? Bizarro? What's with this Bizarro stuff? Is this your idea of a joke? I'm not laughing.
I think you owe me an apology.
Me not sorry.
Will you please stop talking in that stupid voice! Why waste your time on a dip like him? Come on, let's dance! Do you mind? She my girl.
You go.
Yeah, right, wimp.
You leave now.
Yeah, Clark, didn't think you had it in ya, buddy.
You butting in on something smart guy? No, no, I'm okay.
Me teach manners.
Hey, I'm really sorry.
What is he doing? Did you see that? Look at him.
You people are crazy.
Me do good, yes? I can't believe you just did that, what has gotten into you? You know, you really could have hurt him? How could you do this? Because I like you.
You my girl.
Stop it! Just stop it! I don't know what this is all about but I don't like it.
Then me make you very happy, right? That stupid mask of yours.
Gee, I don't think you used all the right moves.
Lana, slap me.
That must be love.
Love is very strange.
Lana.
I go to her.
I can't fly as Kent Clark.
Me change first.
Ah, now me go after Lana.
Why, why you go? You are not Superboy.
Who are you? Time to come on date.
What are you talking about? What are you doing? Put me down! I said put me down! Bizarro.
Put her down.
She my girl now.
We young and in love.
Bizarro, you've got to let her go.
Please, listen to him.
Bizarro, look.
I've brought something for you.
What this? For me? I'm afraid so.
What you doing, Superboy? Pretty green colour.
It's very nice.
What? It doesn't weaken you? Bizarro no want.
Here, you play with it.
You're killing him.
Don't you understand, we've got to get that rock away from him.
It present for Superboy.
No problem, he fine.
Lana, Bizarro, we go.
No, we've got to help Superboy! Bizarro, stop it! Stop it! Captioned by Grant Brown
Oh, you startled me.
I'm sorry, Professor.
That's quite a storm out there.
I guess it is.
So this is it? That's it.
A duplicating machine.
If it really works, Professor.
It will be one of the most important inventions in the history of mankind.
Ah, ha.
Let's see if it does work first.
Are you ready? Ah, it's, it's square, it's white, doesn't smell? I don't understand what went wrong here.
It was your first attempt, Professor, you'll work the bugs out.
I thought I had it all figured out.
I have no idea what went wrong.
Are you alright, Superboy? I'm fine.
My God, look at it, Superboy.
A duplicate of you.
Sort of.
It's uncanny.
He looks so Bizarre.
Bizarro? You call me Bizarro? He can talk.
Bizarro.
I said he was bizarre.
Even his hearing is defective.
Is he like me? An imperfect you.
Definately not human.
Where am me? Who am you? I'm Superboy.
Why you dressed like me? Superboy.
The duplicating machine.
Never mind.
It's part of both of us.
How me get here? This duplicating machine, it created you.
This machine, it make me? It was an accident.
Me accident? No.
That's not what he meant.
Me no accident.
This machine no good.
Me go! I can't let you go.
Me go! What have I done? What have I created? I've got to stop him.
But he's got all your powers.
With that warped mind of his, there's no telling what damage he might do.
Look at my machine.
I don't know how I'll ever get this fixed.
Do what you can here, Professor.
I'll contact you when I find him.
If I find him.
Ah, people, me make friends.
How are you? Look, Mom, Superboy! Hello, little boy.
Hold me, Mommy, look at his face.
Keep away! Keep away! Me no monster, me Bizarro.
Uh, what is it? Very ugly dress you are wearing.
- Ah.
- Me like it a lot.
Why you scream? Me Bizarro, me friend.
Why me do different from Superboy? Must be glass.
Glass no good.
That isn't Superboy.
Me Bizarro.
Me just like Superboy, almost.
I don't have disguise.
That must be problem.
Ah, me remember now.
Me have lots to learn, me go to college.
Yes, Officer, yes, that does help.
He was seen at the corner of Orange and Cyprus around ten? OK.
I'll call back.
Nice costume, Clark.
Gee, I barely recognise you.
Where is your costume.
The party starts in a little while.
Oh, gee.
The costume party.
Um, I was studying all night in the library and I forgot.
You're my date, remember.
Ah, I'm your date.
[ phone rings .]
Hello? This is Professor Peterson.
I'm trying to contact Superboy.
I might be able to get to him.
Tell him I have some terrible news.
I'm calling him about my experiment.
Tell him he's got to come to my lab as soon as he can.
Yes, I'll relay the message.
So I take it I'm going alone, huh? I, I had a little problem last night, um I kind of messed up when I ironed my costume.
I was hoping you'd understand.
Oh, I understand, Clark.
I understand that I just don't make plans with you anymore.
Yeah, Clark, I mean, first you don't come home at all last night, now you don't have a costume for the party.
I'm really sorry, Andy, but I really appreciate you guys understanding.
I don't understand.
I don't understand.
You know, sometimes I can't figure him out.
If I didn't know better I'd think he's living a double life.
Yeah, maybe he's a CIA agent.
Yeah, right.
Lana, what say we slam some beers and do the wild thing.
I'll meet you at the party, OK? OK.
Now, no-one know my secret.
Me look just like Kent Clark.
Me go where he lives and be with friends.
Andy and Lana.
What? Hi, me am Kent Clark and me your good friend.
Clark? Who else? Of course, me Kent Clark.
You sly dog! You faked all that with the costume and you snuck out and changed into that mask, great.
How'd you put that on? You not Superboy.
Why you wear costume? Oh, I get it.
Play along.
Listen, buddy, it's getting late, we've got to amscram.
Coming? You want me go with you? You're great.
Andy, why you not fly to party? Oh, Clark, quite the comedian.
Have to admit.
I never expected it.
You've come out of the closet, ah.
Why me be in closet? - It just exploded? - Yeah.
There's got to b e a reason.
I think it's got something to do with the unstable properties of any non-living thing matter created by my machine.
What your saying is this, Bizarro creature is a walking time bomb? I haven't had time to do all the calculations yet but I think the size has a direct bearing on the length of time before self-detonation.
Are you telling me I have to destroy him? Or at least put him out of commission.
But he's like a part of me.
Like something I never had.
A brother.
I can't kill him.
He's not really alive.
I guess I'll have to use something that I was hoping I wouldn't.
- What? - Kryptonite.
The one thing that can destroy me.
Destroy us.
Hi, Clark.
Hey, Clark.
That was a really cool white mask you had on.
White mask? Didn't I just see you leave with Andy? Excuse me.
Well, Clarke, what did I tell ya.
All the girls from Beta Fi are here.
What a costume! What costume? Golly, Clark.
Nice line.
Andy, why you laugh so much? Well, I guess it's just the kind of guy I am.
Ow, did you pad D that? Come on, let's go some eats.
Hey, you should be glad Clark couldn't make it to the party today.
Otherwise you wouldn't get the chance to be here with me.
I wish you would stop picking on him.
He really is a great guy.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's what you keep telling me.
Hey, Lana, look who I found.
Clark? That am my name.
I can't believe it.
Look, if you didn't want to come with me you could've just told me, instead of making me think you weren't coming at all.
You know Bizarro coming? Bizarro? What's with this Bizarro stuff? Is this your idea of a joke? I'm not laughing.
I think you owe me an apology.
Me not sorry.
Will you please stop talking in that stupid voice! Why waste your time on a dip like him? Come on, let's dance! Do you mind? She my girl.
You go.
Yeah, right, wimp.
You leave now.
Yeah, Clark, didn't think you had it in ya, buddy.
You butting in on something smart guy? No, no, I'm okay.
Me teach manners.
Hey, I'm really sorry.
What is he doing? Did you see that? Look at him.
You people are crazy.
Me do good, yes? I can't believe you just did that, what has gotten into you? You know, you really could have hurt him? How could you do this? Because I like you.
You my girl.
Stop it! Just stop it! I don't know what this is all about but I don't like it.
Then me make you very happy, right? That stupid mask of yours.
Gee, I don't think you used all the right moves.
Lana, slap me.
That must be love.
Love is very strange.
Lana.
I go to her.
I can't fly as Kent Clark.
Me change first.
Ah, now me go after Lana.
Why, why you go? You are not Superboy.
Who are you? Time to come on date.
What are you talking about? What are you doing? Put me down! I said put me down! Bizarro.
Put her down.
She my girl now.
We young and in love.
Bizarro, you've got to let her go.
Please, listen to him.
Bizarro, look.
I've brought something for you.
What this? For me? I'm afraid so.
What you doing, Superboy? Pretty green colour.
It's very nice.
What? It doesn't weaken you? Bizarro no want.
Here, you play with it.
You're killing him.
Don't you understand, we've got to get that rock away from him.
It present for Superboy.
No problem, he fine.
Lana, Bizarro, we go.
No, we've got to help Superboy! Bizarro, stop it! Stop it! Captioned by Grant Brown