The Batman (2004) s02e06 Episode Script
Pets
Come to me.
Return to your cage.
Now, if I could just get one of these to work on my kids.
Hey there, little fella.
Out poaching for Penguin? What took you so long? You are late.
Again! Zip it! I'm through with you birdbrains.
You're not wise enough.
You eat too much meat.
You are always crowing about something or other.
And you, finch.
Don't get me started on you and your bird pies.
Indoors? I have had it with you slabs.
Well, you and your doo-doo are going the way of the dodo.
So say hello to your replacement.
A rare condor.
So vicious even I can't train it.
But with this specialized sonic thingy I can command any bird to do my bidding.
Observe.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
You'll see.
It's a matter of time before I recreate my formula which will allow me to once again rule Gotham's night skies as Man-Bat.
Okay.
Do you want these chimichangas or not, Langstrom? Come to me.
Come to me.
The noise.
What noise? Turn it off, please.
Get it out of my head! Come to me.
I said come to me, already! All right, I'm sorry! Lousy hunk of junk! Who the what are you? And what do bats have against me, anyway? Get away, you.
Get away! Get away? Come to me.
Fan me.
I said fan your master.
Pity this won't work on birdies.
I'll just have to make do with a ferocious, giant bat monster instead! A flurry of moths, sir? Penguin's pets.
Didn't have a shot at tracking them to his whereabouts but it doesn't add up.
Oswald Cobblepot's always been after the big payday jewels, gold, money but a tech robbery? Sonics? Batwave.
An alarm has been tripped at Gotham National Bank.
Now that's the Penguin I know.
Oh, dear.
Intruder alert? Evacuate the cave.
I'm on my way.
That will be most unnecessary, sir.
I believe I can handle our masked intruder myself.
Blast! Either Penguin's been working out or he needs a manicure.
Man-Bat.
Wouldn't a blood bank be more your style, Langstrom? The money.
Bring me the money.
Score.
Look.
Super-bat's proving you tweeters are for the birds.
Stop fooling around! Get rid of The Batman! The Batman, not the money! Down, boy.
Since when does Man-Bat rob banks? Since Penguin started stealing sonic technology.
Blast.
- Our intruder? - Not to worry, sir.
My grip on that scoundrel tightens as we speak.
I'm on a wild animal hunt myself, Alfred.
And I have a hunch our bird heist will shed some light on our bat heist.
Rest up, my giant bat-pet.
More crimes to commit for el pinguino tomorrow.
You.
You! Get out of my head! Where's my bat-pet? I am no one's pet.
I am Dr.
Kirk Langstrom, scientist.
And one of the greatest minds in Gotham.
No.
I, Penguin, am one of the greatest.
So that's the wretched device which controls me.
Its frequency must have triggered my echolocation bat-hearing and reactivated dormant traces of the serum in my system transforming me into Man-Bat.
Yeah, whatever.
So I just gotta flip this puppy on to turn nerd-guy back into Man-Bat? I shall allow you to live, Penguin, if you hand it to me now.
Hand what to you, huh? This? This? Then be sure you never lose it for the first opportunity I get, I shall clip your flightless wings.
I've repaired the device, Alfred.
Diagnostics indicate it's a sonic emitter, encoded to communicate with birds.
But it can be adjusted to emit different frequencies.
My guess is the one penguin ended up with was configured to control bats.
Man-Bat may have the physical advantage over The Batman but if we can use this device to capture Penguin's frequency we might have a shot at breaking Penguin's spell over his slave.
Gad! That wretched creature made off with the bait.
It may be time to use Wayne Industries' media connections to lay some bait.
âGolden penguin statue.
â Now, how could they bring something like that to Gotham and not expect me to steal it? Idiots! And it's already boxed for takeout.
Penguin's about to take the bait, Alfred.
I await your signal, sir.
All right, Fido.
Time to fetch .
- Alfred, I've captured Penguin's signal.
- Got it, sir.
Batwave is translating its frequency.
That's what I'm talking about.
Sinewy strands of monster muscle.
Could you do that, vulture? I didn't think so.
Please don't break, please don't break.
Bowling balls? It's a trick! So you like pinatas, Batman? Let's find out what you're filled with.
Man-Bat, attack! Standing by, Alfred.
Frequency translation complete.
Prepare to receive, sir.
Sir, can you hear me? Blast.
Stop.
Stop.
Alfred, do you copy? Hold on, Master Bruce.
No reception.
I'm ï¬ying solo.
Gotta buy some time.
Pound him into bat guano.
How about a game of Hide and Seek? Oh, the shadows won't conceal you, Batman.
My Man-Bat can hear in the dark.
Not too fond of confined spaces? Power.
Where's the backup power? How can one hungry ball of hair do so much damage? These are terrible seats.
I'm missing all the fun.
Almost there.
We have transmission.
Stop.
You really did bring this upon yourself, you know.
And the champion returns.
So the mighty Batman is finally Oh, boy.
Bring me Penguin, by whatever means necessary.
Finch, help me.
Someone, please Next time, Penguin, stick to birds.
Hi, Dr.
Langstrom.
Now that Penguin and Langstrom are roosting in Arkham where they belong we may wanna think about installing an anti-rodent barrier.
Nice mask.
In case you were considering taking on a sidekick, sir.
I think Penguin and I are through with pets for the time being.
Return to your cage.
Now, if I could just get one of these to work on my kids.
Hey there, little fella.
Out poaching for Penguin? What took you so long? You are late.
Again! Zip it! I'm through with you birdbrains.
You're not wise enough.
You eat too much meat.
You are always crowing about something or other.
And you, finch.
Don't get me started on you and your bird pies.
Indoors? I have had it with you slabs.
Well, you and your doo-doo are going the way of the dodo.
So say hello to your replacement.
A rare condor.
So vicious even I can't train it.
But with this specialized sonic thingy I can command any bird to do my bidding.
Observe.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
I am your master.
Come to me.
Come to me.
Come to me.
You'll see.
It's a matter of time before I recreate my formula which will allow me to once again rule Gotham's night skies as Man-Bat.
Okay.
Do you want these chimichangas or not, Langstrom? Come to me.
Come to me.
The noise.
What noise? Turn it off, please.
Get it out of my head! Come to me.
I said come to me, already! All right, I'm sorry! Lousy hunk of junk! Who the what are you? And what do bats have against me, anyway? Get away, you.
Get away! Get away? Come to me.
Fan me.
I said fan your master.
Pity this won't work on birdies.
I'll just have to make do with a ferocious, giant bat monster instead! A flurry of moths, sir? Penguin's pets.
Didn't have a shot at tracking them to his whereabouts but it doesn't add up.
Oswald Cobblepot's always been after the big payday jewels, gold, money but a tech robbery? Sonics? Batwave.
An alarm has been tripped at Gotham National Bank.
Now that's the Penguin I know.
Oh, dear.
Intruder alert? Evacuate the cave.
I'm on my way.
That will be most unnecessary, sir.
I believe I can handle our masked intruder myself.
Blast! Either Penguin's been working out or he needs a manicure.
Man-Bat.
Wouldn't a blood bank be more your style, Langstrom? The money.
Bring me the money.
Score.
Look.
Super-bat's proving you tweeters are for the birds.
Stop fooling around! Get rid of The Batman! The Batman, not the money! Down, boy.
Since when does Man-Bat rob banks? Since Penguin started stealing sonic technology.
Blast.
- Our intruder? - Not to worry, sir.
My grip on that scoundrel tightens as we speak.
I'm on a wild animal hunt myself, Alfred.
And I have a hunch our bird heist will shed some light on our bat heist.
Rest up, my giant bat-pet.
More crimes to commit for el pinguino tomorrow.
You.
You! Get out of my head! Where's my bat-pet? I am no one's pet.
I am Dr.
Kirk Langstrom, scientist.
And one of the greatest minds in Gotham.
No.
I, Penguin, am one of the greatest.
So that's the wretched device which controls me.
Its frequency must have triggered my echolocation bat-hearing and reactivated dormant traces of the serum in my system transforming me into Man-Bat.
Yeah, whatever.
So I just gotta flip this puppy on to turn nerd-guy back into Man-Bat? I shall allow you to live, Penguin, if you hand it to me now.
Hand what to you, huh? This? This? Then be sure you never lose it for the first opportunity I get, I shall clip your flightless wings.
I've repaired the device, Alfred.
Diagnostics indicate it's a sonic emitter, encoded to communicate with birds.
But it can be adjusted to emit different frequencies.
My guess is the one penguin ended up with was configured to control bats.
Man-Bat may have the physical advantage over The Batman but if we can use this device to capture Penguin's frequency we might have a shot at breaking Penguin's spell over his slave.
Gad! That wretched creature made off with the bait.
It may be time to use Wayne Industries' media connections to lay some bait.
âGolden penguin statue.
â Now, how could they bring something like that to Gotham and not expect me to steal it? Idiots! And it's already boxed for takeout.
Penguin's about to take the bait, Alfred.
I await your signal, sir.
All right, Fido.
Time to fetch .
- Alfred, I've captured Penguin's signal.
- Got it, sir.
Batwave is translating its frequency.
That's what I'm talking about.
Sinewy strands of monster muscle.
Could you do that, vulture? I didn't think so.
Please don't break, please don't break.
Bowling balls? It's a trick! So you like pinatas, Batman? Let's find out what you're filled with.
Man-Bat, attack! Standing by, Alfred.
Frequency translation complete.
Prepare to receive, sir.
Sir, can you hear me? Blast.
Stop.
Stop.
Alfred, do you copy? Hold on, Master Bruce.
No reception.
I'm ï¬ying solo.
Gotta buy some time.
Pound him into bat guano.
How about a game of Hide and Seek? Oh, the shadows won't conceal you, Batman.
My Man-Bat can hear in the dark.
Not too fond of confined spaces? Power.
Where's the backup power? How can one hungry ball of hair do so much damage? These are terrible seats.
I'm missing all the fun.
Almost there.
We have transmission.
Stop.
You really did bring this upon yourself, you know.
And the champion returns.
So the mighty Batman is finally Oh, boy.
Bring me Penguin, by whatever means necessary.
Finch, help me.
Someone, please Next time, Penguin, stick to birds.
Hi, Dr.
Langstrom.
Now that Penguin and Langstrom are roosting in Arkham where they belong we may wanna think about installing an anti-rodent barrier.
Nice mask.
In case you were considering taking on a sidekick, sir.
I think Penguin and I are through with pets for the time being.