The Ghost and Molly McGee (2021) s02e06 Episode Script

1
(laughing maniacally)
-I can't believe you're all mine ♪
-Uh, what?
-You and me for all time ♪
-Ugh!
I'm never, ever, ever
gonna be alone again ♪
Oh, boy.
-The dream team you and me ♪
-For all eternity?
-For all eternity! ♪
-Ahh!
It's a ghost,
it's a ghost and Molly McGee ♪
I've been cursed, it's the worst ♪
MOLLY: Now you're stuck with me ♪
We're never gonna be apart ♪
-Is there a way to hit restart? ♪
-Nope.
We're the ghost, Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
-That's me!
-Well, that's she.
BOTH: The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(rock music playing)
(thunder crashes)
Taste the vicious wrath of Lord Doom!
(yells)
(groans)
Uh, catch me up here.
Who's this guy again?
Lord Doom? The Ravener of the River Styx?
The Slayer of Souls?
The Annihilator of the Afterlife?
You're saying this like
it should mean something to me
when I'm confident
that you know it doesn't.
He once ate an entire village
for breakfast,
then had their ghosts for lunch.
You must stop him, Mr. Chairman, sir.
-Oh!
-(yells)
(blades whooshing)
Me? Why do I got to do everything?
Because you freed him
from the Flow of Failed Phantoms.
Fine, I'll trap him in, uh this bottle.
(gulping)
(in distorted voice)
I curse you, Lord Doom!
May you never again float free,
and be bound into the next vessel you see!
(gasps)
(crackles)
(grunts)
(in normal voice)
That's probably fine, right?
(all whimper)
-(door opens)
-(baby giggling)
Oh, Baby Octavius must have this.
He does prefer toys with an old soul.
Well, then, you're gonna want
the matching bonnet set.
I have that filed over here
under "sundries."
(grunts)
SCRATCH: Into the next vessel you see!
No! No!
Blast this curse!
Check back later for more items
in the My Gothic Baby collec
Well, that's, uh That's odd.
Didn't we leave the dolly right here?
-(doorbell jingles)
-(feet pattering rapidly)
Odd indeed.
(Scratch laughing)
And then I was like
(imitating artillery fire, screaming)
And then I zapped Lord Doom away forever.
(imitating gunfire)
Wow! Impressive, Scratch.
Are they saying
I'm the best Chairman ever?
I assume so.
And I'm just glad I never have to see
that scary Doom guy again.
(knocks on door)
LORD DOOM: Down here.
-(yells)
-(both scream)
-Meet your doom.
-Molly, help! Get it off me!
Oh! It's gonna pinch me or something!
I will destroy you
and everything you hold dear
until you plead for a second death!
Lord Doom?
You know, the way you told that story,
I was expecting, like, someone scary.
Not a cute little baby doll.
Oh, the Chairman cursed me
to inhabit this form for all eternity.
(grunting)
(sighs)
What's the point?
I cannot strike fear into anyone's heart
with these oversized brown eyes.
Okay, okay, but let me
ask you something, Lord Doom.
Did scaring really make you happy?
Extremely!
Did it? Or were you just playing
into other ghouls' expectations?
Go on, mortal girl.
MOLLY: True joy comes
from helping others find their joy,
and then watching that joy
spread like a happy virus.
Look, take this opportunity
to lead into this new you, Lord Doom.
Less scare, more care.
Oh, perhaps a change would be nice.
LORD DOOM: I could have friends.
Hey, that's the spirit!
With my guidance, I can change you
from a violent caterpillar
into a friendly social butterfly.
Hmm. Friends.
(cackling)
Yes!
And that is how you en-happify.
Uh, Molly? Sidebar.
(laughs nervously)
What are you doing?
A tater can't change its tot.
What? Yes, it can.
I mean, you could just
make mashed potatoes,
-or like a big hash brown, or like--
-You can't!
And the point is, Lord Doom
is a cold-blooded monster
who cannot and will not change.
Everyone has a spark of good in them.
-And I am gonna fan that spark
-Don't say it.
-into a fiery inferno
-No, don't do it.
of niceness!
-I knew you were gonna say that!
-Yeah.
-(fire crackles)
-(smoke alarm beeps)
For a thousand years
You've seen yourself ♪
-As violent ♪
-Oh, yeah.
-As a savage ♪
-Yup.
-As brutal as can be ♪
-You really get me.
But soon you'll come to find ♪
You can simply change your mind ♪
All you need's a little positivity ♪
You'll be good ♪
You'll be kind ♪
You'll leave all
your grave atrocities behind ♪
Be genteel ♪
-Not like before ♪
-(slurps)
-(growls)
-Soon, you'll be frightful ♪
-No more ♪
-(growls)
(whimpers)
You'll plant trees ♪
You'll bake loaves ♪
I'll keep devouring the acid in droves ♪
No. No.
You'll hug, you'll be tender and warm ♪
-(grunting)
-Soon, you'll be frightful ♪
-No ♪
-Thanks.
So nice and polite ♪
I hope.
Uh, Scratch, this guy
wouldn't hurt me, right?
Mm fifty-fifty.
I shall vanquish my aggression ♪
Decimate my rage ♪
Slay my inner demons ♪
Turn a brand-new page ♪
By corn, I think he's got it ♪
(chuckles nervously)
That's what friends are for ♪
Thanks to you, I'm frightful no more ♪
What have I done?
Totally not frightful anymore ♪
And I guarantee I will even the score ♪
I didn't think Lord Doom could change.
But you did it.
I shall doubt
your en-happification abilities no more!
(laughs)
Yup, that's That's me.
I definitely believed in him
the whole time.
But, uh, if you still think
he's dangerous,
we can ask him to leave.
What? Come on! No way!
I thought crudités would be disgusting
because, you know, celery.
But Lord Doom,
this guy's a wiz with hummus.
He made, like, five different flavors.
Yeah, but what happened
to a tater can't change its tot?
-Care for some fresh lemonade?
-Oh, corn!
It tastes like a summer's breeze.
Hey. Thanks, LD.
And to think, just a short while ago,
you were a cold-blooded,
merciless butcher of souls.
(both laugh)
(laughs nervously)
(whimpers)
Hard to believe, isn't it?
Not for me.
I'm a good person
who believes in second chances.
-(screams)
-Aren't you gonna drink, Molly?
I squeezed the juice
from the lemon's husk with my own hands.
It's to die for.
And make sure
to take this glass right here
that I made specifically for you.
(whimpering)
Uh
Look! A cute bunny!
Oh, whoops, It hopped away
cutely and bunnily, anyways.
Oh! Yum.
Hmm. Witnessing your enjoyment pleases me.
I am working
on another surprise just for you.
Come one, McGee. Get it together, okay?
It's fine. He's fine.
He's totally not scary at all.
He's
(gasps)
(whispers)
Oh, sweet baby corn.
(Lord Doom cackling evilly)
(whimpers)
-(chain saw whirring)
-Here comes the joy!
(evil laughter)
This'll leave quite the impression.
The McGee girl will never see this coming.
What is he planning?
Oh! Scratch was right.
A tater can't change its tot.
It's already made, you can't un-make it.
What are you gonna do?
Cut off the bread part?
You can't un-tot the tater tot.
It's too far down the process!
Molly
sneaky snoopers are party poopers.
What? Snooping? No.
I went I was
Nothing! I think you're nice!
Don't hurt me!
You better have a good reason
for dragging me into the closet.
You were right, Scratch. Lord Doom is bad.
He cut my face out of all the photos,
and he's gonna make us into crudités!
No way, come on.
That guy's, like, the ultimate in chill.
You must have misunderstood.
I am telling you,
we gotta get him out of here
before he hurts anyone.
-Come on!
-(Scratch yelps)
Lord Doom?
Where are you?
Come out, come out, wherever you are.
(ominous music stings)
Here, Doomy, Doomy, Doomy.
-(yelps)
-Is that his?
-(both gasp)
-(Lord Doom cackling)
(gasps)
-What have you done?
-(whimpers)
(both grunting)
SCRATCH: Excuse me.
Uh hello?
Uh
(clears throat)
Uh
-Paint.
-Yeah.
Bucket of it.
What, did you think it was blood?
Did you think I was evil?
Um mm-mm.
You did.
What is this agony,
rending my heart in two?
It's pain!
The emotional kind!
Well, what about the chain saw?
And the photos with my head cut off?
I made you a gift!
My heartfelt gesture was in vain,
for you have forsaken Lord Doom!
I shall forever instill fear
instead of the love
and compassion I crave!
I'm so sorry, Lord Doom.
You deserve to be loved.
Everyone does.
It's okay, Molly.
I must find someone
who doesn't mind my scary intensity.
But where can I find a person
so blindly innocent and trusting
-so as to accept me unconditionally?
-(knocks on door)
Hello, we're looking
for a missing antique doll.
We saw these little footprints
leading to your doorstep and
-(giggling)
-(gasps)
There it is!
Oh, uh, this doll right here?
Yeah, I don't know
if that's such a good idea.
Such haunted energy.
Oh, it's a perfect addition to our family.
This child's affection fills my heart
with warmth and compassion!
(birds tweeting)
Peekaboo!
(giggling)
Okay, so it took me a while this time,
but that is how you en-happify.
(sobbing)
I'm just gonna miss that guy.
(cries)
And his hummus!
-Mostly his hummus, huh?
-Yeah!
Yeah.
SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(upbeat music playing)
Now, Geoff, I recommend
at least one balloon per guest.
But I'll let you in on a little secret.
(whispers)
You can't have too many balloons.
-Doot!
-This is top-notch stuff, Molly.
(chuckles)
Yeah, I know.
-(yawns)
-Scratch!
You ready for the big day?
Is it Fajita Friday already?
Ha! You're messing with me.
Tonight's my big party.
Oh. Right.
I totally remembered that.
Wouldn't be the same without my BFF, huh?
(laughs)
Got a space saved for you
on the dance floor.
Okay, see you tonight.
(mumbles)
Yeah.
Oh, I'm so jealous you get to go.
I want all the deets.
Oh! You should take notes.
Let me get you a notepad
that doubles as a party hat
-so you don't look too obvious.
-Okay.
It is definitely too early for this.
I need a pick-me-up.
Oh.
-(indistinct chatter)
-One coffee, please.
-The Chairman!
-After you, sir.
-Please go ahead.
-Oh. Why, thanks.
(chuckles)
Well, don't mind if I do.
-Oh. Sorry.
-Looks like someone else is a fan
of the cookie frightaccino
with extra whipped screams.
(shrieks)
Mr. Chairman, sir, take this one.
It's extra cookies. On the house.
Thanks. Man, being Chairman
has some perks, huh?
I don't think we've officially met.
I'm Jeff, with a J.
You coming to the big party tonight
at the Haughty Haunts?
Everyone who's anyone will be there.
The best of the best.
(echoing)
The best of the best.
An exclusive party,
and you're inviting me?
I mean, uh, yeah,
of course you would, obviously.
I'm the Chairman now. I will be there.
Terrific. See you tonight.
Yeah.
(slurps)
Did he say tonight?
Yeah, my big party is tonight.
And I want your stand
to be the first thing Scratch sees.
(laughs)
Oh!
Here he comes. Hide.
I want it to be a surprise.
-Hey!
-(coughs)
What's up, buddy?
Nothing churro-related to see here.
Yeah, about your party.
Maybe you should do it another night.
You know, on Friday
everyone's tired from work,
so you get there late.
But you also kind of want to leave early,
which is really awkward for the host.
I see what's going on here.
Uh, you do?
You're nervous about the party.
You know, because everyone thinks
you're grumpy and unpleasant.
-Oh.
-You don't need to worry, Scratch,
because friends stick together.
(extended)
Great.
-Molls! I need your advice.
-Ah!
(gasps)
Do you know how long
I've been waiting
for you to say those words?
Hit me with anything!
Okay, so I have this, uh, friend,
and this friend has two parties
to go to on the same night.
The first one is gonna be spectacular.
Exclusive venue, lots of important guests.
The kind this friend of mine
was never invited to before.
-Aw!
-But if I
Uh, my friend doesn't go
to the other party,
the host's feelings could get hurt.
Easy peasy McGeesy.
Your friend should go to whichever event
they committed to first.
But what if they really,
really want to go to the other thing
without hurting their friend's feelings?
Well, the book says
the only acceptable excuse
is being sick
Fake sick, huh?
That's interesting.
Nobody said fake.
Don't purposefully misinterpret
the wisdom of the Friendship Handbook.
Scratch!
Hope you put on your dancing shoes.
(chuckles)
And dancing legs.
(cheerful music)
-(groans)
-(gasps)
You're the friend!
How did I not see this?
God! Shh! Shh! Shh!
SCRATCH: Geoff!
(coughing, sobbing)
I'm so sorry.
I can't make it to your party.
I'm I'm sick.
(sneezes)
Ghost-undheit, Scratch.
Oh, I really wanted you to be there,
but the most important thing
is you get better.
Mwah.
(groans)
You used my advice
against sweet, sweet Geoff?
First of all, there's never "a friend."
You should know this by now.
Second, Geoff's never gonna find out,
because you wouldn't tell him
and hurt his feelings,
now would you, Miss McGee?
It's a friendship paradox!
Oh! Fine!
But I am doing this for Geoff,
not for you!
But you're still doing it, right?
Yes.
Don't wait up.
(dance music blaring)
Scratch!
You made it.
Okay, so, dance floor there.
Never-ending buffet there.
And that is also the buffet over there.
I'm sure you know Cleopatra,
Abe Lincoln, Brian.
-Hey.
-Oh, and there's Jinx.
Jinx! Meet the Chairman.
Jinx?
Oh, we've met, actually.
(laughs)
Sorry about that whole
"hunting your friend" thing.
(chuckles)
You weren't the Chairman then.
But, uh, now you are, so
Oh, you been working out?
Hitting the gym, big guy?
Well, I consider my body a temple
Ooh! Is that room-temperature bologna?
Excuse me, I got to do the rounds.
Bleh, host duties, am I right?
Hank Richards!
Dude, I didn't know you were dead!
Wild night, huh?
And to think I almost went
to Geoff's party instead.
Uh, dude, you are at Jeff's party.
(screams)
Sorry, G-E-O-F-F's party.
He's my best friend, but come on.
You don't say no to a shindig like this.
Hey.
No, I guess you don't.
Not like it matters.
Geoff's at his party,
probably not even thinking about me.
I was at my party,
but I couldn't stop thinking
about Scratch.
-I brought him soup.
-Oh.
That is so nice of you.
But, Scratch, he's, uh
He's asleep!
And when he sneezes,
it's just ectoplasm everywhere.
Why don't I give this to Scratch
as soon as he gets back..
Wakes up! Okay?
All right, but make sure
he knows how much I treasure him.
Goodbye, you angel.
You'd better be having a really good time.
I'm having a really good time!
(dance music blaring)
(laughs)
Whoa!
Ah!
"G" Geoff? What is he doing here?
Oh, no.
I hope he doesn't see you.
That'd be so bad.
I bet when I didn't show,
he canceled his party
and came here instead.
Wow, your best friend
was really counting on you,
and you let him down, didn't you?
Oh. Yeah.
Well, there's only one thing to do, right?
Hope he doesn't see you.
(laughs nervously)
Whew!
I thought you were gonna say
fess up and tell him the truth.
I like this better. Cover me!
(funky music playing)
I got to be low-key ♪
I got to be low-key ♪
I got to keep out of view
of you-know-who ♪
So you shrink and you slip
into the cheese fondue ♪
You trying everything
to stay out of sight ♪
-But ♪
-SCRATCH: Ow!
This does not taste right.
Next, you hide
in the fried hors d'oeuvres ♪
-Egg rolls?
-Oh, sure.
You just got served ♪
Pass the blueberry pie a la mode ♪
Moving fast 'cause you can ♪
Maybe one for the road.
You don't want to leave
but you can't be seen ♪
-Shh.
-You got to be low-key ♪
So you're hiding inside
the fog machine ♪
-You got to be low-key ♪
-(yelps)
Cruel and uncouth avoiding the truth ♪
Annoying the crew in the DJ booth ♪
Begone, peasant.
You got to move cautiously ♪
-Keep an eye out for Geoff.
-You can count on me.
If you can stay undetected
Then you'll be fine ♪
But you just redirected the conga line ♪
And if he sees you,
his heart will be torn ♪
Into thousands of pieces ♪
Oh, look. Little pizzas.
You don't want to leave
but you can't be seen ♪
You got to be low-key ♪
Getting thirds
on the lobster Florentine ♪
-Uh-oh.
-You got to be low-key ♪
Risking a friend
over whole goat cheese ♪
You got to be low-key ♪
If he doesn't know I'm here,
does it really count as mean? ♪
-Shh!
-You got to be low-key ♪
-(dance music playing)
-(indistinct chattering)
Ah! Lost him.
I really love these churros.
They're so crispy, yet so soft.
GEOFF: Scratch?
(dramatic music)
Geoff? "G" Geoff.
I can explain, brother.
Oh! You had a miracle recovery
and made it to my party.
Wait. What? Your party?
This is Jeff's party.
"J" Jeff, not you Geoff.
Yeah, it's our party.
Jeff is my afterlife partner.
Wait, you and him?
(stammering)
Oh, I know. I get your confusion.
But Jeff spells it with a J,
while I spell it G-E
I know how you spell it!
But how did I not know
you two were together?
No idea.
You're at our anniversary party.
Whoa.
Yeah, I do not know how I missed that.
Geoff. Jeff.
(laughs)
This blowout was the best.
(grunts)
You knew and you didn't tell me?
That's for what you did to the Chairman.
The real Chairman.
Jinx out!
My soup must've cured
your spontaneous illness, huh, buddy?
You brought me soup?
You're a good friend, Geoff.
Better than I deserve.
I Oh, I wasn't sick.
I faked it to get out of your party.
But you're at my party.
Keep up, pal.
Yeah, but I didn't know that.
When Jeff, that Jeff, invited me
Well, this will shock you.
I haven't always been very popular.
And it felt nice to be
one of the best of the best.
I'm sorry, Geoff.
Oh, buddy, I can't blame you
for wanting to hang out with Jeff.
I mean, he's so awesome,
I'm spending the rest
of my afterlife with him.
Now, come on, let's party.
Geoff may forgive you,
but you're not off the hook with me, pal.
If you ever hurt my angelic Geoff again,
you'll answer to me!
Got it. Yes, sir.
Now let's have a good time!
(dance music blaring)
-(all cheering)
-Yeah, baby!
Whew! What a night.
I tell you what,
I'm gonna sleep like the dead.
Ah, hey, Scratch,
I've updated the handbook,
so now it clearly states
you should have gone to Geoff's party.
I did, but Geoff's party
was actually Jeff's party,
so it all worked out in the end.
-Night-night!
-What?
SCRATCH AND MOLLY:
The Ghost and Molly McGee ♪
(closing theme music playing)