The Guild (2007) s02e06 Episode Script
Blow Out
I have a squeamish stomach, okay? I always have! I feel faint at the sight of really bad acne or raw chicken livers or people's toe hair.
Oh, gross.
And it's not even a good story, 'cause I can't say, "I was so wasted," like any other good puking tale, if there is such a thing.
Bright side at least I won't have to make room for dating around my gaming schedule.
That would suck.
I want to die right now! "I'm Codex!" Okay, Clara, thanks for the support.
Oh, God.
He probably hates me now.
Why? 'Cause you puked all over him? Nah.
He probably got a stiffie instantly.
I've been playing for 48 hours straight.
Humiliation is super-funny to me right now.
"You're so hot!" Whoa! I almost threw up for real that time.
Clara, you need to take it easy.
You've been online for, like, what? Two days straight? I'm not wasting one minute of my "me" weekend.
Besides trying to get me an orb, I got this side project going on.
Oh, sweet! Chow time! You know, you owe me an extra 89 gold for meals, but I will give you the option of trading me in-game food, as long as it's level-31 quality or above.
Consider it done.
Uh, dude, you're getting killed right now.
What?! I was AFK! Have you no honor, Teats4Tots? This harassment is neutering my business hours! Who'd want to gank you like that? I have many enemies starting with my 7th-grade rival for class president, Kenny MacEntyre, to a 12-year-old newbie who I chided for four hours straight after he killed a Yeti Chief I needed for a quest turn-in.
Heinous'd.
Indeed.
I could use your help in scouring the Grasslands of Aerinor to hunt down this vengeful beast of a player.
Cool.
Yeah, I just finished making a website dedicated to Codex's toes, shrimpingcodex.
Com, so my lady homework is done for the day.
What am I gonna do? The only way I can avoid this guy here is to go through my bathroom window, which is two inches too small for my head.
When I switch camera views really quickly, I get really dizzy! Do it with me, you guys! Whoo! Whee! Whoo! Codex, men think with their little heads, not their stomachs.
Just flash him some of that albino skin, and it'll be history.
It can't be that easy.
- I puked beef burrito on him! - Listen to me.
Women have all the power in sex.
That's why male prostitutes don't make house calls.
They don't? At least not to this zip code.
Dude, get this mob off me! - It's interrupting my blast! - I'm trying! You're running the opposite way! My controls aren't responding! I don't understand! Oh! Uh, duh'd.
While you were out house-wiving I remapped all your hot keys.
You were moving in a total newb way.
You did what?! Uh More cleavage! - I don't have more! - She means get more out! Hello? Hey, Codex! Got your digits from Zaboo.
So, when do you think a woman is sufficiently bought and will perform sexual services? Bladezz?! Um, I'd say you're wrong, and you need to learn more about relationships.
Relationships.
Oh, you are so missing the point.
Look, Tink wants me.
It's obvious.
But waiting to hit it, it's It's maxing out my life in a lot of ways and Stupid! You're making the hearts all crooked! I don't care! Just hurry! Her sister's birthday is Monday, so she wants this in the mail ASAP! I don't participate in shoddy craftsmanship! Ow! Dena! Ow! Mom! Use the stencil! Do it! Bladezz, um, you ever think Tink might be using you? Whoa! Okay, you had your chance to ride the Bladezz train.
Just 'cause we're on the phone together? Skanky.
Okay.
You're right.
You totally deserve each other.
She'll come around.
Just hang in there, okay? Bye.
God! Zaboo! You don't touch a man's key bindings! That's an ultimate violation! Yeah, well, don't tell me how many times I can flush the toilet a day! I can't subsidize your bowel movements! I have to get an accurate measurement to split the bill! And I've had it with you telling me how to play my class! Yeah, well, Fire Thrust is better than Reave Blade, so deal with it.
Are you out of your mind? That's like saying a savings account is a better investment than a laddered CD! You are insane! Damn! It's fun to spar with you mano a mano like this! Get this much testosterone in a room, and it's fireworks! Bew! Bew, bew! Codex? Codex! I need you in the officer channel, now! Hello, there.
Hey! How's your stomach? Oh.
Uh, fine.
I'm feeling better.
You're definitely looking better.
Oh! Ding! So, what kind of moves are those? I'm just loosening up before sparring practice.
My next job is on Joust a Minute, a mini-series about knights.
Oh, cool.
I've got to use this polearm weapon in a dueling sequence.
Ooh, like a halberd? Yeah.
Whoa! How did you know about that? Strangely, weaponry is an area I know a lot about.
Sexy.
Oh, my God! Ha! Gotcha! See? Yeah.
Oh, that was very clever.
- Here, I can do it to you.
- No, that's cool I'm Ugh.
Oh.
Ooh! Codex, is this man bothering you? Vork? Um no.
He's just putting me in a headlock! Then, we need to talk.
Oh, gross.
And it's not even a good story, 'cause I can't say, "I was so wasted," like any other good puking tale, if there is such a thing.
Bright side at least I won't have to make room for dating around my gaming schedule.
That would suck.
I want to die right now! "I'm Codex!" Okay, Clara, thanks for the support.
Oh, God.
He probably hates me now.
Why? 'Cause you puked all over him? Nah.
He probably got a stiffie instantly.
I've been playing for 48 hours straight.
Humiliation is super-funny to me right now.
"You're so hot!" Whoa! I almost threw up for real that time.
Clara, you need to take it easy.
You've been online for, like, what? Two days straight? I'm not wasting one minute of my "me" weekend.
Besides trying to get me an orb, I got this side project going on.
Oh, sweet! Chow time! You know, you owe me an extra 89 gold for meals, but I will give you the option of trading me in-game food, as long as it's level-31 quality or above.
Consider it done.
Uh, dude, you're getting killed right now.
What?! I was AFK! Have you no honor, Teats4Tots? This harassment is neutering my business hours! Who'd want to gank you like that? I have many enemies starting with my 7th-grade rival for class president, Kenny MacEntyre, to a 12-year-old newbie who I chided for four hours straight after he killed a Yeti Chief I needed for a quest turn-in.
Heinous'd.
Indeed.
I could use your help in scouring the Grasslands of Aerinor to hunt down this vengeful beast of a player.
Cool.
Yeah, I just finished making a website dedicated to Codex's toes, shrimpingcodex.
Com, so my lady homework is done for the day.
What am I gonna do? The only way I can avoid this guy here is to go through my bathroom window, which is two inches too small for my head.
When I switch camera views really quickly, I get really dizzy! Do it with me, you guys! Whoo! Whee! Whoo! Codex, men think with their little heads, not their stomachs.
Just flash him some of that albino skin, and it'll be history.
It can't be that easy.
- I puked beef burrito on him! - Listen to me.
Women have all the power in sex.
That's why male prostitutes don't make house calls.
They don't? At least not to this zip code.
Dude, get this mob off me! - It's interrupting my blast! - I'm trying! You're running the opposite way! My controls aren't responding! I don't understand! Oh! Uh, duh'd.
While you were out house-wiving I remapped all your hot keys.
You were moving in a total newb way.
You did what?! Uh More cleavage! - I don't have more! - She means get more out! Hello? Hey, Codex! Got your digits from Zaboo.
So, when do you think a woman is sufficiently bought and will perform sexual services? Bladezz?! Um, I'd say you're wrong, and you need to learn more about relationships.
Relationships.
Oh, you are so missing the point.
Look, Tink wants me.
It's obvious.
But waiting to hit it, it's It's maxing out my life in a lot of ways and Stupid! You're making the hearts all crooked! I don't care! Just hurry! Her sister's birthday is Monday, so she wants this in the mail ASAP! I don't participate in shoddy craftsmanship! Ow! Dena! Ow! Mom! Use the stencil! Do it! Bladezz, um, you ever think Tink might be using you? Whoa! Okay, you had your chance to ride the Bladezz train.
Just 'cause we're on the phone together? Skanky.
Okay.
You're right.
You totally deserve each other.
She'll come around.
Just hang in there, okay? Bye.
God! Zaboo! You don't touch a man's key bindings! That's an ultimate violation! Yeah, well, don't tell me how many times I can flush the toilet a day! I can't subsidize your bowel movements! I have to get an accurate measurement to split the bill! And I've had it with you telling me how to play my class! Yeah, well, Fire Thrust is better than Reave Blade, so deal with it.
Are you out of your mind? That's like saying a savings account is a better investment than a laddered CD! You are insane! Damn! It's fun to spar with you mano a mano like this! Get this much testosterone in a room, and it's fireworks! Bew! Bew, bew! Codex? Codex! I need you in the officer channel, now! Hello, there.
Hey! How's your stomach? Oh.
Uh, fine.
I'm feeling better.
You're definitely looking better.
Oh! Ding! So, what kind of moves are those? I'm just loosening up before sparring practice.
My next job is on Joust a Minute, a mini-series about knights.
Oh, cool.
I've got to use this polearm weapon in a dueling sequence.
Ooh, like a halberd? Yeah.
Whoa! How did you know about that? Strangely, weaponry is an area I know a lot about.
Sexy.
Oh, my God! Ha! Gotcha! See? Yeah.
Oh, that was very clever.
- Here, I can do it to you.
- No, that's cool I'm Ugh.
Oh.
Ooh! Codex, is this man bothering you? Vork? Um no.
He's just putting me in a headlock! Then, we need to talk.