The Serpent Queen (2022) s02e06 Episode Script
Courting the Valois
1
[MONTMORENCY] Previously
on The Serpent Queen
[ANGELICA]
I mixed a powerful poison
so someone else could slip it
into the drink of the Protestant leader.
- On whose orders?
- The Queen Mother's.
I feel it is in the best
interest of the council
that I resign from my post immediately.
What?
Perhaps you are not entirely responsible
for what happened to Hercule.
Help!
[CATHERINE] All you have to do
is sign his confession.
Anjou!
Can we get on with this, please?
[LEMUR] You fucking bastard!
[EDITH] Do you know
what the purpose of life is?
- No, I don't.
- To transcend suffering.
For fuck's sake, please!
Marriage is the traditional means
to quiet the drumbeat of war.
Well, then there's your solution.
But who would marry a man
in his condition?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[ELISABETH] Goodbye, Mother.
[RAHIMA] Courtesy of Ruggieri.
I wouldn't drink any
if I were you.
You know the assignment
make sure they
think of nothing but you.
Would you like to assume the position?
[CHUCKLES]
I slept all day
because you made sure of it.
At least now we won't have
to march on the Protestants
because they'll come for us.
Not when they see who's coming
to marry the king.
Fuck me.
What a lovely home.
[HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Well, hello, Antoine.
Your Majesty.
♪
[ANTOINE EXHALES SHARPLY]
[LOUIS] Um, what's the matter with you?
I think we have a fucking problem.
Trouble with Antoinette?
No, actually, but thanks for asking.
Oh, come on then, spit it out.
Queen Elizabeth is at court.
She's here? Blessings.
Well, not exactly,
considering recent events
and a certain signed document
she may have in her possession.
Impossible, Antoine.
Perhaps you're still
under the influence.
Quite the vintage the Duke of Florence
sent to our rooms last night.
Apparently it's his own blend.
Annoyingly Italian, isn't it?
[CHUCKLES] Do you really think
that's all that was?
Oh, grown men can be so naive.
Even Henri knew there was a plot afoot.
What plot?
Well, the drinks did seem
fairly strong
perhaps, purposefully.
You and Father both retired very early
and emerged from your rooms
quite late in the day.
And now rumor has it Princess Elisabeth
has left court with her new
husband, Philip of Spain.
And if Queen Elizabeth of England,
with whom you've committed treason,
is, in fact, here as a guest of court,
yeah, I think you're right, Father,
- we do have a fucking problem.
- Henri, language.
Forgive me, Mother.
Queen Elizabeth is not in France.
She is in Flanders awaiting my word.
She said, "Hello, Antoine"
as if she'd said it
every morning of her life.
- That does sound like her.
- [LOUIS] Tancrede?
Yes, My Lord?
Have there been any visitors
to the court today?
Queen Elizabeth of England arrived
early this morning
as a prospective bride
for the king of France.
Seems like she's made a bit
of a fool of you, Uncle Louis.
♪
Not for long.
♪
[MARGOT] If it is your
intention to marry us all off
like livestock,
I think we deserve to know.
It is my intention to secure
your future and your safety.
I don't see how I'm supposed
to use my position
on the Privy Council to temper
my brother's cowardice
when you've gone and invited
the enemy into our home.
This, Anjou, is why God,
in His infinite wisdom,
conspired to have me born before you.
And ask yourself would you
rather face your enemy
on the battlefield or in bed?
And is that cowardice or prudence?
After all, the ground
is full of brave soldiers.
Well said, Your Majesty.
Do you actually trust the English queen?
Of course not.
But if we do not align
our interests with hers,
then the Bourbons will,
and the Guises will cut their
own swath towards the throne.
I mean, you know it as
well as I do, Charles.
It is simply where we find ourselves.
Still, you might have asked me first.
You were not disposed to take
my counsel at the time,
if you remember.
[ANJOU] I mean, she does have a
point.
You can get a bit pigheaded
when it comes to protocol.
Protocol is how this works, idiot.
Are you sure you're up to this?
Rumor has it Queen Elizabeth
has a collection
of withered testicles from her
long list of rebuffed suitors.
You'll find it in a box under her bed.
[CHARLES] Don't worry about me.
Just try not to kill anyone
while she's here.
- We should be all right.
- Enough!
Whilst I have tolerated
the competition between you
in the past, it is now time
to put that aside.
"Tolerated"? Is that all you've done?
Meaning?
Whilst Queen Elizabeth
is under our roof,
we must be united at all times,
because that is the only way
the union between
our two kingdoms will work.
Is that understood?
♪
Now embrace.
♪
Like brothers.
Come on, you're not serious.
♪
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING, DOOR OPENS]
What's wrong with you?
Why should anything be wrong with me?
♪
I thought you would like
to know it has been said
that someone who looks
very much like Cardinal Guise
was seen taking baptism
at Sister Edith's camp.
How sure are you?
[RAHIMA] I asked members
of the Flying Squadron
to find a new religion.
Useful endeavor.
Are you familiar
with the Catholic League?
You mean the religious nutjobs
preaching death to all heretics?
I've heard of them.
Well, if what you say
about the Cardinal's conversion is true,
this might be
useful information to them.
Shall we find out?
Yes, Your Majesty.
[ANIMALS BLEATING, DOG BARKS]
This is the man you wanted to meet.
Leave us alone.
You can't trust him.
Well
what can I do for you, Cardinal?
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Never underestimate the need for belief.
I've always underestimated that.
Are you hungry?
No, but thank you.
What are you reading?
[CHUCKLES]
Yes, this is also sustenance.
The Gospel of John.
Unlike the other Gospels,
the temptation of Christ
is not made by Satan
but by a crowd full of doubt
who demand proof He is the Son of God.
If you are who you say you are,
turn these rocks to bread,
but He refuses.
Because man cannot live
on bread alone, right?
You know your scripture.
You see, it is my belief that Satan
is just a mask we use
to conceal the evil
that resides within us.
Well, I have never seen wickedness
like I have seen in
people.
And in you.
The truth is, I
have done some unspeakable things.
Do you know what's worse?
I've done them all in the name of God,
whom I've never believed in,
not for one single day of my life.
Then perhaps you are hungry
for another form of sustenance as well.
I've led a worthless life.
And I want to be of use.
But you can be
if you'll let me guide you.
Okay.
You can see what I cannot see
hear what I cannot hear
Uh-huh.
Be in places I cannot be.
♪
Right.
Would you like to be
of use to me in that way?
♪
Yes.
Yes, I would.
♪
Hello.
And you are?
We represent
the Catholic League of France.
Perhaps you've heard of us?
[ANTOINETTE] I have.
And what is it you want with me?
I think we need to talk about your son.
Which one?
♪
Your Majesty.
May I present Queen Elizabeth
of England and Ireland
as prospective bride
for King Charles IX of France.
[BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Welcome to our humble home.
"Humble"?
My God, it's enormous.
The food's extraordinary.
How are you all not fat as swine?
Oh, hello, Louis. You're looking well.
She's toying with me, Antoine.
Pleasant journey, I trust.
Well, I happened to be
in Holland, so not far.
What business took you
to Holland, I wonder?
Good season for rebellion.
I suppose I've always
just loved the lowlands.
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT] If I may.
Um, the king's Privy Council
was not consulted in this matter,
or in the matter of another
royal wedding,
which I hear
is over and done with
the bride already on her way to Madrid.
It was a hasty union.
[LOUIS]
And as you said, Your Majesty,
hasty is not what we need at the moment.
We do not want to upset
the delicate balance
between Protestant and Catholic
in our fair land.
And while there is nothing we
can now do about the marriage
between Princess Elisabeth
and Prince Philip,
a marriage to a Protestant queen,
whilst possibly advantageous,
must not be entered
into lightly or hastily
and most certainly not without
the Privy Council's say-so.
Forgive me. I seem a little confused.
On his recent visit to our blessed isle,
the Second Prince of Blood
seemed quite eager
- to intertwine our two lands.
- Indeed he did.
Most eager.
[THROCKMORTON] We are now
simply seeking to finalize
the proposal that
the House of Bourbon presented.
If it is soured on the idea
perhaps it can clearly state the reasons
for such a turnabout, hmm?
Cold feet?
It's always a relief when
someone does your job for you.
We did not discuss marriage,
if I remember.
What can I say?
The heart wants what the heart wants.
[SCOFFS] You've just met.
And the king is even more of a man
than I've been led to believe.
I thank you for the compliment.
It is I who am grateful.
And you must be Prince Anjou.
What a lovely ensemble you're wearing.
And I see what they say is true.
You really are prettier
than half the girls in England.
[LAUGHTER]
[LOUIS] Uh, be that as it may,
I cannot help but think
of my dear cousins, the Guises,
who would surely object
to this union.
I mean, it's never wise
to push a rival too far.
And what says the House of Guise
to the proposed marriage?
The House of Guise has
no objection to this union.
[LOUIS SCOFFS]
A-a-are you joking?
Really?
Thank you for your patriotism.
Our only concern is for the safety
of our dear granddaughter and
niece, Mary Queen of Scots.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
She is most important
to the Catholics of France.
[ELIZABETH] Oh, yes, poor,
dear, lovely cousin Mary.
What a terrible situation
she finds herself in.
Throckmorton, why have you not done more
for dear cousin Mary?
That's an unforgivable oversight
on my part, Your Majesty.
We must do everything
we can to help her.
And so we shall.
Perhaps we can come to an
arrangement on Queen Mary,
if you are willing to cede back
Calais to the English Crown.
The residents at our northern coast
are French-speaking, French of culture,
and, by the last treaty
between our kingdoms,
under French law.
I see no reason
for that to change.
Oh, we'd be open to
a negotiation on these issues,
depending upon the terms
of the trade deal proposed
taxation on imported and exported goods.
Shall we discuss a reasonable
levy to begin with?
Forgive my Councillor
no sense of romance.
Surely, now is not the time
to discuss anything as distasteful
as haggling over levies.
Can't we all just get
to know each other?
I, for one, would like
to spend some more time
with my prospective groom.
You seem a most considered
and deliberate man.
Nothing excites me more.
Yes. Enough business for one day.
I hear you're an avid rider.
Oh, yes, I'm positively mad for it.
My father used to take me
riding when I was a girl.
Really?
Was that before or after he
cut off your mother's head?
Gosh, do you know something?
I don't remember.
[CATHERINE] May I propose
you join our family
on a hunt, without your advisor,
just a friendly family outing
so we can get to know each other?
No talk of business, I promise.
That's a splendid idea.
- Throckmorton?
- Hmm?
You won't sulk if we leave you behind?
- No, Madame.
- Excellent.
And if you're good,
I'll bring you a bloody head,
just like Mother's.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Well?
Seems amusing.
Yeah, if you like
fucking mental cases, sure.
♪
What are you doing here?
I suppose I embarrass you.
No more than I embarrass myself.
I don't blame you.
I just wanted to say,
you don't have to avoid me.
I'm not going to
throw myself at you or anything.
I realize I misunderstood about us.
You didn't misunderstand.
It's just there's not much
room for genuine feelings
in this world we're born into.
I plan to be free of all that.
How are you going to manage that?
- I'll find a way.
- I hope so.
I just don't want any part
of your disillusionment.
Your unworthy faith in men like me
is one of the things
I like best about you.
[ANTOINETTE] Oh, Princess Margot,
what a treat.
Such a beautiful girl you've become.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?
No, Princess Margot was just leaving.
Oh, shame.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
You two would make such a sweet couple.
- I told you, she is off-limits.
- As you wish.
You know, you never cease to amaze me.
How can you possibly not object
to the king's marriage?
Because unlike you,
I am aware that we have bigger problems.
Oh, bigger problems than
the Protestant Queen of England
bouncing our king on her knee?
I had a visit from the Catholic League.
Apparently your brother,
the Cardinal of Lorraine,
is under suspicion for
turning to the new religion.
That's absurd.
Oh, then you knew.
What does it matter?
No one will believe it.
Whether they believe it or not
is immaterial.
It is being said.
And our only brand,
if you hadn't noticed,
is that we represent
the Catholic aristocracy.
If that is in doubt,
then we will lose the support
of the people
to lunatics like the Catholic League,
whereupon we're finished.
We do not have the political capital
to object to anything.
So, if I were you,
I would bring your brother to heel.
I'd do it myself
if I hadn't had the misfortune
of being born without a cock.
And do it quickly, or the house
that bears your name will be no more.
♪
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Oh, Louis, I was wondering
when you were going to come
and say hello.
I need to speak to you, alone.
Well, I am alone.
What, them? Oh.
All right, go on, off you go.
Fly away, little birds.
Oh, take the dogs.
[PERSON SIGHS]
[ELIZABETH] Yes, yes, get out.
- They're like tortoises.
- [LOUIS] Mmm.
- Now, what can I do for you?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [LOUIS] I'm onto you.
- Whatever can you mean?
This is a play, isn't it?
I would never play you.
Politics are complicated, though.
We have to make it up as we go along.
You realize what Sister Edith
will think when she finds out
you're here to marry into the family
I have already committed
your and my support
to help her overthrow?
She will think we are adaptive
and cunning.
She will think we are playing her
the way you are playing me.
And she will unleash
her lunatic followers on us.
Is that any way to speak
of our co-religious?
I've seen them. She's mental.
She burnt Antoine.
On purpose?
Yes, on purpose!
Don't raise your voice with me, Louis.
S-sorry.
It's just, uh
I-I-I thought there was
something special between us.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Darling
of course there is.
Has it not occurred to you
that this might be best for both of us?
That boy king doesn't know what's what,
and his mother wants peace at all costs,
which is why she proposed this marriage,
knowing full well I will not
bring her son happiness.
Now, if I go through with it,
he will do what I say.
And I will,
for all intents and purposes,
rule both France and England.
But I won't be able to do it alone.
See, I have absolutely no intention
of ever bearing a child
or of even living here.
So I will need someone
to mind the store.
Yes?
You know, a Protestant aristocrat
with finely honed business acumen
and deadly negotiating instincts
from the family next in line.
I have been known to be in possession
of those qualities.
♪
In abundance.
You will represent me here on
the continent in all of my authority.
I intend to make both our houses
the Tudors and the Bourbons
very, very rich, indeed.
Now, in order to do that, we
must make the Valois desperate
for this marriage to take place.
So, go back to the woods,
reassure Sister Edith
of our commitment to her cause.
Words, of course, will not suffice,
so you will bring her
something from me
four wagonloads of weapons
I've had hidden not far from here.
Encourage her to strike a blow.
We'll have the Valois
eating out of our hands.
It's called leverage.
So it's all politics?
Everything is politics.
And if I refuse?
Well [SMACKS LIPS]
I don't really think you have a choice.
You signed a treaty
with a foreign power.
I think that's called treason.
[CHUCKLES] Blackmail.
- [ELIZABETH] Motivation.
- [CHUCKLES]
Now, make yourself useful.
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYS]
Oh, goodness, that's tickly.
[DOGS HOWLING, BARKING]
♪
[CHARLES] I'm told you are
the finest rider in England.
You flatter me.
I'm being truthful, as I am when I say
the way you united England
under the new faith
is a mark of a born leader.
Thank you, sir.
How do you feel
about taking me as a wife?
A woman doesn't want to just be
admired as a leader by her husband.
No, I wouldn't think so.
I hope you allow me
to love you as a woman
if I please you as a man and as a king.
I can't imagine you wouldn't.
You are quite different
to your brother, are you not?
I should certainly hope so.
Do you hear that, Anjou?
We're talking about you.
That doesn't surprise me.
Charles is always talking about me.
Got a bit of an obsession, I'm afraid.
I find it all quite flattering.
[ELIZABETH] Such wit.
I've always been fascinated
by sibling rivalry.
They must have been such fun
when they were children.
[CATHERINE] Indeed.
Am I wrong to assume my son
does not disappoint?
You are not.
- [HORSE CHUFFS]
- [CATHERINE] Hmm.
Then perhaps we can discuss
terms as we ride.
Throckmorton will be furious.
[GLASS THUDS ON TABLE]
But it depends on the terms.
I did tell you
I have absolutely no head for business.
Did you?
I don't remember.
Do you know, they say there
are two types of thinkers?
The fox who knows lots of little things
and the hedgehog who knows
one big thing.
I wonder, which one are you?
Shall we?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Are you not joining us?
Sadly not.
My brother does not share
our passion for riding.
Oh, I'm sure you have
many other passions, though.
You understand me.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[ELIZABETH] Goodness, Catherine,
how fortunate you are
all these children
and a big brother to protect you.
What I wouldn't give.
♪
I say, shall we wager?
Come on. [CLICKS TONGUE]
Whoever gets the biggest buck
sets the terms
of the proposed marriage.
The king, the prince,
and the Queen Mother
will represent
the House of Valois.
And I shall represent myself.
Three to one?
The odds are not in your favor.
Oh, I doubt that.
Well, I wish you good fortune.
[HORN BLARES]
Shall we?
After you, Your Majesty.
You're too kind, Your Majesty.
♪
[DOGS BARKING]
♪
Imagine having all that power,
being God's chosen ruler
and wasting your life
chasing small animals
around the forest.
And what would you do
with all that power?
Make the world bigger.
Perhaps you haven't heard
the Earth is not flat.
Men are always theorizing
about things they cannot prove.
Well, watch the sunset with me
one of these evenings,
and I will prove it.
- The sunset?
- Mm.
I have not heard that before.
You doubt my motives?
I'm offering to show you
what astronomers have proven
and what priests
would have them burn for
a world of infinite possibility.
I thought that's what you wanted.
♪
Maybe I was wrong.
♪
The Earth is not flat.
[DOG BARKING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT]
There is no ring to kiss here.
Oh. [LAUGHING] Forgive me.
Yes, I don't I don't know
what I was thinking.
[EDITH] How is your arm, Antoine?
It hurts.
[JEANNE] Let that be a reminder
of the pain of sin.
And once sin passes from you,
so will the pain.
Your wife is a wise woman.
You would do well to listen to her.
Can we get on with this, please?
Sister Edith, of course, you've heard
that Queen Elizabeth of England
is here as a prospective bride
to the king.
I make no distinction
between England and France.
It is the same boot across
the neck of the common people
of Europe.
Well said.
Sorry, who are you?
Oh, I represent the English boot.
To know one's self is the start
of the path to redemption.
Indeed.
Well, I'm here to reassure you
that Queen Elizabeth's entertainment
of the offer to marry the king
of France is just that.
It's a it's an entertainment,
a ruse to lull suspicions, if you will.
We remain committed to your cause,
to destabilize the Valois
and promote the new faith.
In that spirit, I hope
you will accept a gift
♪
weapons, four wagons full.
♪
A show of support
from the Queen of England
with which you might strike
a blow for the cause.
As well as a show of
the Bourbon's blessing
on your cause, right, Antoine?
- Yeah, I suppose, yeah.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
Your power on the continent
grows stronger by the day.
We want to help you harness that power.
♪
I do not trust you
♪
but I will accept your gift.
♪
I would expect nothing less.
[ANTOINE] Okay, can we go now?
- [LOUIS] All right, yep.
- [ANTOINE] Please, can we go?
Uh, I was hoping
you might stay, Antoine.
We could read the scriptures together.
As I imagine, that would involve
some sort of injury no, thanks.
Yeah, we will be missed
if we're not back soon.
I would like to stay.
I don't think that's a good idea.
No, on the contrary that is
a brilliant idea, Henri.
In fact, I will join you.
To sleep out under the stars
with all the other true believers
what more could a pure soul desire?
A bed?
Ignore your father, Henri.
All are welcome.
[ANTOINE] You don't have to do this.
No, don't worry, Father.
I-I want to stay.
[ANTOINE] Are you sure about that?
♪
Well
good luck to you.
♪
Remember what I told you?
I don't believe in luck.
Preparation, calculation
precision attack.
♪
Don't don't worry. He'll be all right.
I don't know, Louis!
I don't know if any of us are
going to be all right anymore.
I think I think I fucked up.
I think I think I fucked up
when I colluded with that poisoner.
I assure you that things
will work out for us.
They they always do.
We are upper class.
It's just the natural order of things.
♪
[DOGS BARKING]
♪
[DOGS BARKING IN THE DISTANCE]
♪
[BIRD CAWS]
[HORSE CHUFFS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[SNAKE HISSING]
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
- [PERSON] Ah!
- [PERSON] He's fallen!
- [PEOPLE SHOUTING]
[PERSON] The king has fallen!
[BELL TOLLING]
[CHARLES COUGHS]
Oh, for God's sake, I'm fine.
[CATHERINE] Of course you are.
The horse bucked me is all,
just as I was close enough
to shoot the beast.
- Your Majesty.
- [CHARLES] Damn my luck.
[CATHERINE] What is it?
[WHISPERING] I have concerns
about the king's condition.
[CATHERINE]
You heard the king. He's well.
[DR. FERNEL] Of course, but
considering the family history,
I would like to examine him further.
The king is fine.
Your Majesty, forgive me.
Your Majesty.
[CHARLES SIGHS]
Well
I'm not sure I made the best impression.
I will have to pace myself.
Queen Elizabeth
is a spirited one, isn't she?
Indeed.
She's no match for you.
- You think so?
- Of course.
Now you should rest, Your Majesty.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [GROANS IN PAIN]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SIGHS]
♪
[FRANCOIS] So it's true, then?
♪
I can't lie to you, brother.
You never had any trouble before.
It's that fool leading
a garrison in the woods, is it?
She's the real thing.
Second coming?
Possibly
yeah.
♪
So why'd you come back here, then?
- Because she asked me to.
- Hmm.
You think Jesus would ask you to spy?
No, but maybe if Jesus
had a spy amongst the Romans,
He wouldn't have ended up
nailed to a cross.
So we're Romans now, are we?
[CARDINAL GUISE] Look, let me
take you to her, Francois.
You can repent.
The feeling is incredible.
No, you mean you want it
to be incredible.
I'm telling you, it's the real thing.
People are watching you.
Do you know the Catholic League
came to see Mother?
So, if I were you, I'd get this
out of your system, quietly.
And in the meantime, don't get caught,
because I won't be able to help you.
You know, maybe Jesus did have a spy.
Maybe he was nailed
to the cross next to Him
having his entrails pulled out by crows,
only his father couldn't raise
him from the dead.
♪
You armed your guards.
A gift from the English queen
by way of the Bourbons.
That would be treason.
Would it?
Only the king can grant you
the terms that you desire.
The king is like the rest of them
a fly who sits on the wheel
of God's chariot,
claiming the dust
that is raised as his own.
Do you have any idea
the trouble you're causing?
The people who will die in your name?
I'm not your child to be scolded.
No, you're someone who found
themself in a terrible ordeal,
who closed their eyes
and hoped to die but did not.
And now you mistake God's voice
for the voice in your head.
You're not the first.
And believe me,
it always ends the same way.
I think it's time
you submitted to Christ.
I wouldn't want you to get
left behind in the reckoning.
And if I do,
will you meet with the king?
♪
You can bring him here
and I will cleanse him of his sins.
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
♪
You asked for me?
I want to see my brother.
[RAHIMA] I believe he is
at the building site.
Well, then I will visit him there.
Have my carriage made ready.
Certainly, Your Highness.
What is it?
It's probably nothing,
but I looked over the books,
the accounts as you asked me.
And?
And
there seems to be an irregularity
in some of your brother's numbers,
some funds unaccounted for.
You must be wrong.
Check again.
Yes, Your Majesty.
♪
Yes, I like the gardens.
Those are beautiful.
[ALESSANDRO]
You have a view of the river.
♪
Catherine, a pleasant surprise.
Yes, but apparently
I'm not your only surprise.
Queen Elizabeth wanted to see the site.
I wanted to show her
your vision for this country
a monument to unity.
Lovely spot for another one
of your great, big houses.
You have so many.
I've had such a delightful time
with your brother.
He is so charming. You must be so proud.
Indeed.
[ELIZABETH] And how is the king?
Ah, yes, I heard he fell.
Is everything okay?
I am most relieved, the king is well.
The doctor examined him thoroughly.
Oh, good luck.
Excellent. Well, we must go
after that stag again tomorrow.
Perhaps in a couple of days.
We wouldn't want to test
our luck so soon.
Yes, we will have to find a
different way to come to terms.
♪
Well, I think I've seen
everything I need to.
Shall we go back?
Of course.
Shall I escort the queen?
I would be most grateful.
Very well.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
You called for me, Your Majesty.
I did.
That will be all.
If you want an apology for my betrayal,
I cannot give you an honest one.
I thought you of all people
might understand.
Everyone's got to make
something of themselves.
I summoned you here for the truth,
not for the false testimony
you gave at the Privy Council.
When I rejected your services, you
found another patron, did you not?
When I learned
that you accepted my advice
and cut me out of the plot,
I did indeed approach another party.
Hmm.
The Bourbons.
So you told them that the poison
that you would give to Aabis
would, in fact, not be poison
and would therefore ensure
another miracle.
Almost sounds like something
the Serpent Queen
could have contrived, does it not?
♪
Perhaps.
And yet you took a dangerous risk
thwarting my plans.
I assessed the situation
and found no other option.
You made an astute deduction.
I'm impressed, Angelica.
I'd like you to return to my service.
Whatever I can do, Your Majesty.
[CATHERINE] There is one thing.
My brother
I want to know
what he does at all times.
Certainly.
Can I ask, why not give
this task to Rahima?
She is your most trusted, isn't she?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] No, you may not.
♪
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Never ignore an instinct
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- no matter how unpleasant.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
You wanted to see me?
I was going over the accounts
for the Tuileries project
and had some questions.
Are you telling me there's
money missing from the budget?
Because if you are
you would be correct.
I have taken some here
and there as I have seen fit
and adjusted the numbers accordingly
just like you.
[GROANS SOFTLY] Yes
you see, I know all about you
and your arrangements
with lace makers and manservants.
You take what you want,
because like me
♪
you were not born to be a servant.
♪
You know I am a prince
a Medici?
The blood that runs
through my veins
is the same as the queen's,
and yet I am to scrape and beg?
I don't think so.
Everything that was rightfully
mine was stolen from me
simply because of an accident
of matrimony,
and I intend to get it back fivefold,
whereupon these trifling sums
would be nothing.
♪
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Shall I go?
♪
[INSECTS CHIRPING, BIRDS SQUAWKING]
♪
What is this?
- What is this?
- It's a warning.
♪
You are surrounded by traitors.
I know the Guises and the Bourbons
conspire against me.
They always have,
and I'm dealing with it!
[RUGGIERI] You don't know the half
of what you're dealing with.
- You're wrong.
- [RUGGIERI] Ah.
You are so wrong!
I'm on the verge of solving
all of this country's problems
with a queen who is
as practical as I am!
If you're talking
about the bastard daughter
of Henry VIII, you are a fool!
- [GASPS]
- She will never be your ally.
And she will make the king
the slave of her bedchamber,
as she has so many others before him!
Who are you to talk
about the will of queens, huh?
You're just a peasant
hawking mud and ground herbs
and calling it destiny!
I am the one who has known you
since you were a girl.
♪
Have you seen any visions of late?
The raven, perhaps?
That's the symbol of England, is it not?
No!
You cannot deny your true
nature any more than Anjou can.
If you do
I've had enough of you
and your superstitions!
I never should have brought you
to France with me,
because you exploit my fears
as you do our intimacy!
It is time for us to part ways.
♪
My soldiers will come tomorrow
to raze this hut to the ground,
and I suggest you do not be here!
♪
No, no.
[ELIZABETH] Shame about that buck.
Well, perhaps
it was divine intervention,
our great Catholic God
striking down your plans
for wrecking France from the inside.
[ELIZABETH] Is that how you see me
as an agent of chaos?
Aren't you?
Something tells me you wouldn't mind
if I brought my kind of chaos
a bit closer to you,
no matter my intentions.
Mm.
My tastes are a bit different
from my brother's.
You wouldn't know what to do with me.
[ELIZABETH]
I wouldn't be too sure.
My tastes are not
as conventional as they seem.
I really do believe
we should sate our appetites
for the brief period
that we are here on this Earth.
So the Virgin Queen is?
A figure of speech.
Do you know
the more time I spend with you,
the more I question whether
I have, in fact, been presented
with the right brother?
Is that so?
Hmm.
There you are.
[ANJOU] Hello, brother.
I was just telling Queen Elizabeth
how much I thought
you two had in common.
Were you?
It's not like you
to pay me a compliment.
You know, it's hard to believe
that's the same little boy
who used to beg to sleep
at the end of my bed
curled up like a dog.
Goodness
all this unprocessed emotion
between the two of you
it is so invigorating.
What do you think
about a competition of skill?
I have to confess,
the idea makes me quite
pert.
A fence, a joust to settle things?
No, thanks.
[CHARLES] It doesn't matter
what we choose.
I will always best him,
unless, of course,
the competition is sartorial in nature.
Then I happily surrender.
Charles, I'd really rather not.
I insist, as your king.
[ELIZABETH] Oh, and I as your queen.
Then it's settled. We fence.
What fun.
♪
Are you enjoying playing the
English queen's courtship games?
I thought you'd be
all for this marriage.
If you care to hear,
I have proof that it's not for marriage
that the Queen of England
has arrived in France.
[WHISPERING] As it happens,
I do not care to hear,
as I'm sure you're proof only
concerns this girl
whom you seek to protect at all costs.
You need to go to Sister Edith,
hear her out, show your
followers that you're listening.
It's the only way to prevent war.
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say you have chosen her over me.
Anjou, choose your sword.
♪
Can I have a word?
If this is about my prospective bride,
your jealousy is beginning to bore me.
I'm sorry she doesn't want
the second in line
to the throne, Anjou.
[ANJOU] Charles,
this is not a good idea.
She's clearly trying to play us
off against each other.
This woman collects fiancés,
not husbands.
Well, why should I fear
a competition with you?
Even if you win,
she'll come running back to me
the moment she finds out
your true nature.
Everybody knows it's Sodom and Gomorrah
every night in your chambers.
After all, what queen wants
to be married to a faggot?
♪
Well
who am I to deny my king?
[CHARLES] Indeed.
♪
Charles.
You really must stop this.
You might still be affected
from your fall.
There is no shame in being cautious.
- Tell him.
- I did.
- I feel fine, Mother.
- You must stop it immediately.
I said, "I feel fine."
♪
[ELIZABETH] Oh, Catherine,
I'm so glad you decided to come.
Little friendly competition
between brothers
so romantic for my enjoyment.
I don't know about romantic.
In this heat?
Well, they are young men.
What could be more natural
than sweating like animals?
Unless, of course, the king is unwell,
in which case, we must stop it at once.
No. [SCOFFS] Of course not.
You are right.
- It's Mother's nerves.
- [ELIZABETH] Hmm.
♪
- Anjou.
- Mother.
♪
Let him win.
Beat him, and I will make sure
you regret it.
I do not speak in jest.
Tell me you understand me.
I understand.
♪
You're the king.
He's still your little brother here.
Everything all right?
I was just wishing both
of my sons good luck.
Good, 'cause as it stands,
the Valois brothers
are playing for my heart.
It is my intention to marry the winner.
♪
Care to make an assault?
[SWORDS CLANG]
♪
First touch for the Duke of Anjou.
[APPLAUSE]
♪
[SWORDS CLANG]
♪
Come on.
♪
[BALSAC] Second shot for the king.
- Best of three is a bout.
- [APPLAUSE]
Come on, Anjou,
you're going too easy on him.
[WHISPERING] Mother,
you must put a stop this.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
♪
[MONTMORENCY] Come on.
What's the matter with you?
I'm handing this to you.
♪
[ALL GASP]
[CATHERINE] Doctor!
Charles, Charles. Charles, look at me.
Look at me, Charles.
♪
- [BREATHING HEAVILY, WHIMPERS]
- [COUGHING]
["TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM" PLAYS]
To know, know, know him ♪
Is to love, love, love him ♪
My darling.
Just to see that smile ♪
He's fine, he's fine. He's fine.
[MONTMORENCY] Previously
on The Serpent Queen
[ANGELICA]
I mixed a powerful poison
so someone else could slip it
into the drink of the Protestant leader.
- On whose orders?
- The Queen Mother's.
I feel it is in the best
interest of the council
that I resign from my post immediately.
What?
Perhaps you are not entirely responsible
for what happened to Hercule.
Help!
[CATHERINE] All you have to do
is sign his confession.
Anjou!
Can we get on with this, please?
[LEMUR] You fucking bastard!
[EDITH] Do you know
what the purpose of life is?
- No, I don't.
- To transcend suffering.
For fuck's sake, please!
Marriage is the traditional means
to quiet the drumbeat of war.
Well, then there's your solution.
But who would marry a man
in his condition?
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[ELISABETH] Goodbye, Mother.
[RAHIMA] Courtesy of Ruggieri.
I wouldn't drink any
if I were you.
You know the assignment
make sure they
think of nothing but you.
Would you like to assume the position?
[CHUCKLES]
I slept all day
because you made sure of it.
At least now we won't have
to march on the Protestants
because they'll come for us.
Not when they see who's coming
to marry the king.
Fuck me.
What a lovely home.
[HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Well, hello, Antoine.
Your Majesty.
♪
[ANTOINE EXHALES SHARPLY]
[LOUIS] Um, what's the matter with you?
I think we have a fucking problem.
Trouble with Antoinette?
No, actually, but thanks for asking.
Oh, come on then, spit it out.
Queen Elizabeth is at court.
She's here? Blessings.
Well, not exactly,
considering recent events
and a certain signed document
she may have in her possession.
Impossible, Antoine.
Perhaps you're still
under the influence.
Quite the vintage the Duke of Florence
sent to our rooms last night.
Apparently it's his own blend.
Annoyingly Italian, isn't it?
[CHUCKLES] Do you really think
that's all that was?
Oh, grown men can be so naive.
Even Henri knew there was a plot afoot.
What plot?
Well, the drinks did seem
fairly strong
perhaps, purposefully.
You and Father both retired very early
and emerged from your rooms
quite late in the day.
And now rumor has it Princess Elisabeth
has left court with her new
husband, Philip of Spain.
And if Queen Elizabeth of England,
with whom you've committed treason,
is, in fact, here as a guest of court,
yeah, I think you're right, Father,
- we do have a fucking problem.
- Henri, language.
Forgive me, Mother.
Queen Elizabeth is not in France.
She is in Flanders awaiting my word.
She said, "Hello, Antoine"
as if she'd said it
every morning of her life.
- That does sound like her.
- [LOUIS] Tancrede?
Yes, My Lord?
Have there been any visitors
to the court today?
Queen Elizabeth of England arrived
early this morning
as a prospective bride
for the king of France.
Seems like she's made a bit
of a fool of you, Uncle Louis.
♪
Not for long.
♪
[MARGOT] If it is your
intention to marry us all off
like livestock,
I think we deserve to know.
It is my intention to secure
your future and your safety.
I don't see how I'm supposed
to use my position
on the Privy Council to temper
my brother's cowardice
when you've gone and invited
the enemy into our home.
This, Anjou, is why God,
in His infinite wisdom,
conspired to have me born before you.
And ask yourself would you
rather face your enemy
on the battlefield or in bed?
And is that cowardice or prudence?
After all, the ground
is full of brave soldiers.
Well said, Your Majesty.
Do you actually trust the English queen?
Of course not.
But if we do not align
our interests with hers,
then the Bourbons will,
and the Guises will cut their
own swath towards the throne.
I mean, you know it as
well as I do, Charles.
It is simply where we find ourselves.
Still, you might have asked me first.
You were not disposed to take
my counsel at the time,
if you remember.
[ANJOU] I mean, she does have a
point.
You can get a bit pigheaded
when it comes to protocol.
Protocol is how this works, idiot.
Are you sure you're up to this?
Rumor has it Queen Elizabeth
has a collection
of withered testicles from her
long list of rebuffed suitors.
You'll find it in a box under her bed.
[CHARLES] Don't worry about me.
Just try not to kill anyone
while she's here.
- We should be all right.
- Enough!
Whilst I have tolerated
the competition between you
in the past, it is now time
to put that aside.
"Tolerated"? Is that all you've done?
Meaning?
Whilst Queen Elizabeth
is under our roof,
we must be united at all times,
because that is the only way
the union between
our two kingdoms will work.
Is that understood?
♪
Now embrace.
♪
Like brothers.
Come on, you're not serious.
♪
[FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING, DOOR OPENS]
What's wrong with you?
Why should anything be wrong with me?
♪
I thought you would like
to know it has been said
that someone who looks
very much like Cardinal Guise
was seen taking baptism
at Sister Edith's camp.
How sure are you?
[RAHIMA] I asked members
of the Flying Squadron
to find a new religion.
Useful endeavor.
Are you familiar
with the Catholic League?
You mean the religious nutjobs
preaching death to all heretics?
I've heard of them.
Well, if what you say
about the Cardinal's conversion is true,
this might be
useful information to them.
Shall we find out?
Yes, Your Majesty.
[ANIMALS BLEATING, DOG BARKS]
This is the man you wanted to meet.
Leave us alone.
You can't trust him.
Well
what can I do for you, Cardinal?
I don't know what I'm doing here.
Never underestimate the need for belief.
I've always underestimated that.
Are you hungry?
No, but thank you.
What are you reading?
[CHUCKLES]
Yes, this is also sustenance.
The Gospel of John.
Unlike the other Gospels,
the temptation of Christ
is not made by Satan
but by a crowd full of doubt
who demand proof He is the Son of God.
If you are who you say you are,
turn these rocks to bread,
but He refuses.
Because man cannot live
on bread alone, right?
You know your scripture.
You see, it is my belief that Satan
is just a mask we use
to conceal the evil
that resides within us.
Well, I have never seen wickedness
like I have seen in
people.
And in you.
The truth is, I
have done some unspeakable things.
Do you know what's worse?
I've done them all in the name of God,
whom I've never believed in,
not for one single day of my life.
Then perhaps you are hungry
for another form of sustenance as well.
I've led a worthless life.
And I want to be of use.
But you can be
if you'll let me guide you.
Okay.
You can see what I cannot see
hear what I cannot hear
Uh-huh.
Be in places I cannot be.
♪
Right.
Would you like to be
of use to me in that way?
♪
Yes.
Yes, I would.
♪
Hello.
And you are?
We represent
the Catholic League of France.
Perhaps you've heard of us?
[ANTOINETTE] I have.
And what is it you want with me?
I think we need to talk about your son.
Which one?
♪
Your Majesty.
May I present Queen Elizabeth
of England and Ireland
as prospective bride
for King Charles IX of France.
[BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Welcome to our humble home.
"Humble"?
My God, it's enormous.
The food's extraordinary.
How are you all not fat as swine?
Oh, hello, Louis. You're looking well.
She's toying with me, Antoine.
Pleasant journey, I trust.
Well, I happened to be
in Holland, so not far.
What business took you
to Holland, I wonder?
Good season for rebellion.
I suppose I've always
just loved the lowlands.
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT] If I may.
Um, the king's Privy Council
was not consulted in this matter,
or in the matter of another
royal wedding,
which I hear
is over and done with
the bride already on her way to Madrid.
It was a hasty union.
[LOUIS]
And as you said, Your Majesty,
hasty is not what we need at the moment.
We do not want to upset
the delicate balance
between Protestant and Catholic
in our fair land.
And while there is nothing we
can now do about the marriage
between Princess Elisabeth
and Prince Philip,
a marriage to a Protestant queen,
whilst possibly advantageous,
must not be entered
into lightly or hastily
and most certainly not without
the Privy Council's say-so.
Forgive me. I seem a little confused.
On his recent visit to our blessed isle,
the Second Prince of Blood
seemed quite eager
- to intertwine our two lands.
- Indeed he did.
Most eager.
[THROCKMORTON] We are now
simply seeking to finalize
the proposal that
the House of Bourbon presented.
If it is soured on the idea
perhaps it can clearly state the reasons
for such a turnabout, hmm?
Cold feet?
It's always a relief when
someone does your job for you.
We did not discuss marriage,
if I remember.
What can I say?
The heart wants what the heart wants.
[SCOFFS] You've just met.
And the king is even more of a man
than I've been led to believe.
I thank you for the compliment.
It is I who am grateful.
And you must be Prince Anjou.
What a lovely ensemble you're wearing.
And I see what they say is true.
You really are prettier
than half the girls in England.
[LAUGHTER]
[LOUIS] Uh, be that as it may,
I cannot help but think
of my dear cousins, the Guises,
who would surely object
to this union.
I mean, it's never wise
to push a rival too far.
And what says the House of Guise
to the proposed marriage?
The House of Guise has
no objection to this union.
[LOUIS SCOFFS]
A-a-are you joking?
Really?
Thank you for your patriotism.
Our only concern is for the safety
of our dear granddaughter and
niece, Mary Queen of Scots.
Oh, for fuck's sake.
She is most important
to the Catholics of France.
[ELIZABETH] Oh, yes, poor,
dear, lovely cousin Mary.
What a terrible situation
she finds herself in.
Throckmorton, why have you not done more
for dear cousin Mary?
That's an unforgivable oversight
on my part, Your Majesty.
We must do everything
we can to help her.
And so we shall.
Perhaps we can come to an
arrangement on Queen Mary,
if you are willing to cede back
Calais to the English Crown.
The residents at our northern coast
are French-speaking, French of culture,
and, by the last treaty
between our kingdoms,
under French law.
I see no reason
for that to change.
Oh, we'd be open to
a negotiation on these issues,
depending upon the terms
of the trade deal proposed
taxation on imported and exported goods.
Shall we discuss a reasonable
levy to begin with?
Forgive my Councillor
no sense of romance.
Surely, now is not the time
to discuss anything as distasteful
as haggling over levies.
Can't we all just get
to know each other?
I, for one, would like
to spend some more time
with my prospective groom.
You seem a most considered
and deliberate man.
Nothing excites me more.
Yes. Enough business for one day.
I hear you're an avid rider.
Oh, yes, I'm positively mad for it.
My father used to take me
riding when I was a girl.
Really?
Was that before or after he
cut off your mother's head?
Gosh, do you know something?
I don't remember.
[CATHERINE] May I propose
you join our family
on a hunt, without your advisor,
just a friendly family outing
so we can get to know each other?
No talk of business, I promise.
That's a splendid idea.
- Throckmorton?
- Hmm?
You won't sulk if we leave you behind?
- No, Madame.
- Excellent.
And if you're good,
I'll bring you a bloody head,
just like Mother's.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
♪
Well?
Seems amusing.
Yeah, if you like
fucking mental cases, sure.
♪
What are you doing here?
I suppose I embarrass you.
No more than I embarrass myself.
I don't blame you.
I just wanted to say,
you don't have to avoid me.
I'm not going to
throw myself at you or anything.
I realize I misunderstood about us.
You didn't misunderstand.
It's just there's not much
room for genuine feelings
in this world we're born into.
I plan to be free of all that.
How are you going to manage that?
- I'll find a way.
- I hope so.
I just don't want any part
of your disillusionment.
Your unworthy faith in men like me
is one of the things
I like best about you.
[ANTOINETTE] Oh, Princess Margot,
what a treat.
Such a beautiful girl you've become.
Oh, sorry, am I interrupting?
No, Princess Margot was just leaving.
Oh, shame.
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
You two would make such a sweet couple.
- I told you, she is off-limits.
- As you wish.
You know, you never cease to amaze me.
How can you possibly not object
to the king's marriage?
Because unlike you,
I am aware that we have bigger problems.
Oh, bigger problems than
the Protestant Queen of England
bouncing our king on her knee?
I had a visit from the Catholic League.
Apparently your brother,
the Cardinal of Lorraine,
is under suspicion for
turning to the new religion.
That's absurd.
Oh, then you knew.
What does it matter?
No one will believe it.
Whether they believe it or not
is immaterial.
It is being said.
And our only brand,
if you hadn't noticed,
is that we represent
the Catholic aristocracy.
If that is in doubt,
then we will lose the support
of the people
to lunatics like the Catholic League,
whereupon we're finished.
We do not have the political capital
to object to anything.
So, if I were you,
I would bring your brother to heel.
I'd do it myself
if I hadn't had the misfortune
of being born without a cock.
And do it quickly, or the house
that bears your name will be no more.
♪
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
Oh, Louis, I was wondering
when you were going to come
and say hello.
I need to speak to you, alone.
Well, I am alone.
What, them? Oh.
All right, go on, off you go.
Fly away, little birds.
Oh, take the dogs.
[PERSON SIGHS]
[ELIZABETH] Yes, yes, get out.
- They're like tortoises.
- [LOUIS] Mmm.
- Now, what can I do for you?
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [LOUIS] I'm onto you.
- Whatever can you mean?
This is a play, isn't it?
I would never play you.
Politics are complicated, though.
We have to make it up as we go along.
You realize what Sister Edith
will think when she finds out
you're here to marry into the family
I have already committed
your and my support
to help her overthrow?
She will think we are adaptive
and cunning.
She will think we are playing her
the way you are playing me.
And she will unleash
her lunatic followers on us.
Is that any way to speak
of our co-religious?
I've seen them. She's mental.
She burnt Antoine.
On purpose?
Yes, on purpose!
Don't raise your voice with me, Louis.
S-sorry.
It's just, uh
I-I-I thought there was
something special between us.
[CLICKS TONGUE] Darling
of course there is.
Has it not occurred to you
that this might be best for both of us?
That boy king doesn't know what's what,
and his mother wants peace at all costs,
which is why she proposed this marriage,
knowing full well I will not
bring her son happiness.
Now, if I go through with it,
he will do what I say.
And I will,
for all intents and purposes,
rule both France and England.
But I won't be able to do it alone.
See, I have absolutely no intention
of ever bearing a child
or of even living here.
So I will need someone
to mind the store.
Yes?
You know, a Protestant aristocrat
with finely honed business acumen
and deadly negotiating instincts
from the family next in line.
I have been known to be in possession
of those qualities.
♪
In abundance.
You will represent me here on
the continent in all of my authority.
I intend to make both our houses
the Tudors and the Bourbons
very, very rich, indeed.
Now, in order to do that, we
must make the Valois desperate
for this marriage to take place.
So, go back to the woods,
reassure Sister Edith
of our commitment to her cause.
Words, of course, will not suffice,
so you will bring her
something from me
four wagonloads of weapons
I've had hidden not far from here.
Encourage her to strike a blow.
We'll have the Valois
eating out of our hands.
It's called leverage.
So it's all politics?
Everything is politics.
And if I refuse?
Well [SMACKS LIPS]
I don't really think you have a choice.
You signed a treaty
with a foreign power.
I think that's called treason.
[CHUCKLES] Blackmail.
- [ELIZABETH] Motivation.
- [CHUCKLES]
Now, make yourself useful.
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYS]
Oh, goodness, that's tickly.
[DOGS HOWLING, BARKING]
♪
[CHARLES] I'm told you are
the finest rider in England.
You flatter me.
I'm being truthful, as I am when I say
the way you united England
under the new faith
is a mark of a born leader.
Thank you, sir.
How do you feel
about taking me as a wife?
A woman doesn't want to just be
admired as a leader by her husband.
No, I wouldn't think so.
I hope you allow me
to love you as a woman
if I please you as a man and as a king.
I can't imagine you wouldn't.
You are quite different
to your brother, are you not?
I should certainly hope so.
Do you hear that, Anjou?
We're talking about you.
That doesn't surprise me.
Charles is always talking about me.
Got a bit of an obsession, I'm afraid.
I find it all quite flattering.
[ELIZABETH] Such wit.
I've always been fascinated
by sibling rivalry.
They must have been such fun
when they were children.
[CATHERINE] Indeed.
Am I wrong to assume my son
does not disappoint?
You are not.
- [HORSE CHUFFS]
- [CATHERINE] Hmm.
Then perhaps we can discuss
terms as we ride.
Throckmorton will be furious.
[GLASS THUDS ON TABLE]
But it depends on the terms.
I did tell you
I have absolutely no head for business.
Did you?
I don't remember.
Do you know, they say there
are two types of thinkers?
The fox who knows lots of little things
and the hedgehog who knows
one big thing.
I wonder, which one are you?
Shall we?
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
Are you not joining us?
Sadly not.
My brother does not share
our passion for riding.
Oh, I'm sure you have
many other passions, though.
You understand me.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
[ELIZABETH] Goodness, Catherine,
how fortunate you are
all these children
and a big brother to protect you.
What I wouldn't give.
♪
I say, shall we wager?
Come on. [CLICKS TONGUE]
Whoever gets the biggest buck
sets the terms
of the proposed marriage.
The king, the prince,
and the Queen Mother
will represent
the House of Valois.
And I shall represent myself.
Three to one?
The odds are not in your favor.
Oh, I doubt that.
Well, I wish you good fortune.
[HORN BLARES]
Shall we?
After you, Your Majesty.
You're too kind, Your Majesty.
♪
[DOGS BARKING]
♪
Imagine having all that power,
being God's chosen ruler
and wasting your life
chasing small animals
around the forest.
And what would you do
with all that power?
Make the world bigger.
Perhaps you haven't heard
the Earth is not flat.
Men are always theorizing
about things they cannot prove.
Well, watch the sunset with me
one of these evenings,
and I will prove it.
- The sunset?
- Mm.
I have not heard that before.
You doubt my motives?
I'm offering to show you
what astronomers have proven
and what priests
would have them burn for
a world of infinite possibility.
I thought that's what you wanted.
♪
Maybe I was wrong.
♪
The Earth is not flat.
[DOG BARKING]
[INDISTINCT CHATTER]
[LOUIS CLEARS THROAT]
There is no ring to kiss here.
Oh. [LAUGHING] Forgive me.
Yes, I don't I don't know
what I was thinking.
[EDITH] How is your arm, Antoine?
It hurts.
[JEANNE] Let that be a reminder
of the pain of sin.
And once sin passes from you,
so will the pain.
Your wife is a wise woman.
You would do well to listen to her.
Can we get on with this, please?
Sister Edith, of course, you've heard
that Queen Elizabeth of England
is here as a prospective bride
to the king.
I make no distinction
between England and France.
It is the same boot across
the neck of the common people
of Europe.
Well said.
Sorry, who are you?
Oh, I represent the English boot.
To know one's self is the start
of the path to redemption.
Indeed.
Well, I'm here to reassure you
that Queen Elizabeth's entertainment
of the offer to marry the king
of France is just that.
It's a it's an entertainment,
a ruse to lull suspicions, if you will.
We remain committed to your cause,
to destabilize the Valois
and promote the new faith.
In that spirit, I hope
you will accept a gift
♪
weapons, four wagons full.
♪
A show of support
from the Queen of England
with which you might strike
a blow for the cause.
As well as a show of
the Bourbon's blessing
on your cause, right, Antoine?
- Yeah, I suppose, yeah.
- [LOUIS] Mm.
Your power on the continent
grows stronger by the day.
We want to help you harness that power.
♪
I do not trust you
♪
but I will accept your gift.
♪
I would expect nothing less.
[ANTOINE] Okay, can we go now?
- [LOUIS] All right, yep.
- [ANTOINE] Please, can we go?
Uh, I was hoping
you might stay, Antoine.
We could read the scriptures together.
As I imagine, that would involve
some sort of injury no, thanks.
Yeah, we will be missed
if we're not back soon.
I would like to stay.
I don't think that's a good idea.
No, on the contrary that is
a brilliant idea, Henri.
In fact, I will join you.
To sleep out under the stars
with all the other true believers
what more could a pure soul desire?
A bed?
Ignore your father, Henri.
All are welcome.
[ANTOINE] You don't have to do this.
No, don't worry, Father.
I-I want to stay.
[ANTOINE] Are you sure about that?
♪
Well
good luck to you.
♪
Remember what I told you?
I don't believe in luck.
Preparation, calculation
precision attack.
♪
Don't don't worry. He'll be all right.
I don't know, Louis!
I don't know if any of us are
going to be all right anymore.
I think I think I fucked up.
I think I think I fucked up
when I colluded with that poisoner.
I assure you that things
will work out for us.
They they always do.
We are upper class.
It's just the natural order of things.
♪
[DOGS BARKING]
♪
[DOGS BARKING IN THE DISTANCE]
♪
[BIRD CAWS]
[HORSE CHUFFS]
[SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC PLAYS]
[SNAKE HISSING]
- [HORSE NEIGHS]
- [PERSON] Ah!
- [PERSON] He's fallen!
- [PEOPLE SHOUTING]
[PERSON] The king has fallen!
[BELL TOLLING]
[CHARLES COUGHS]
Oh, for God's sake, I'm fine.
[CATHERINE] Of course you are.
The horse bucked me is all,
just as I was close enough
to shoot the beast.
- Your Majesty.
- [CHARLES] Damn my luck.
[CATHERINE] What is it?
[WHISPERING] I have concerns
about the king's condition.
[CATHERINE]
You heard the king. He's well.
[DR. FERNEL] Of course, but
considering the family history,
I would like to examine him further.
The king is fine.
Your Majesty, forgive me.
Your Majesty.
[CHARLES SIGHS]
Well
I'm not sure I made the best impression.
I will have to pace myself.
Queen Elizabeth
is a spirited one, isn't she?
Indeed.
She's no match for you.
- You think so?
- Of course.
Now you should rest, Your Majesty.
[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS]
- [DOOR OPENS]
- [GROANS IN PAIN]
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- [SIGHS]
♪
[FRANCOIS] So it's true, then?
♪
I can't lie to you, brother.
You never had any trouble before.
It's that fool leading
a garrison in the woods, is it?
She's the real thing.
Second coming?
Possibly
yeah.
♪
So why'd you come back here, then?
- Because she asked me to.
- Hmm.
You think Jesus would ask you to spy?
No, but maybe if Jesus
had a spy amongst the Romans,
He wouldn't have ended up
nailed to a cross.
So we're Romans now, are we?
[CARDINAL GUISE] Look, let me
take you to her, Francois.
You can repent.
The feeling is incredible.
No, you mean you want it
to be incredible.
I'm telling you, it's the real thing.
People are watching you.
Do you know the Catholic League
came to see Mother?
So, if I were you, I'd get this
out of your system, quietly.
And in the meantime, don't get caught,
because I won't be able to help you.
You know, maybe Jesus did have a spy.
Maybe he was nailed
to the cross next to Him
having his entrails pulled out by crows,
only his father couldn't raise
him from the dead.
♪
You armed your guards.
A gift from the English queen
by way of the Bourbons.
That would be treason.
Would it?
Only the king can grant you
the terms that you desire.
The king is like the rest of them
a fly who sits on the wheel
of God's chariot,
claiming the dust
that is raised as his own.
Do you have any idea
the trouble you're causing?
The people who will die in your name?
I'm not your child to be scolded.
No, you're someone who found
themself in a terrible ordeal,
who closed their eyes
and hoped to die but did not.
And now you mistake God's voice
for the voice in your head.
You're not the first.
And believe me,
it always ends the same way.
I think it's time
you submitted to Christ.
I wouldn't want you to get
left behind in the reckoning.
And if I do,
will you meet with the king?
♪
You can bring him here
and I will cleanse him of his sins.
♪
[BIRDS CHIRPING]
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
♪
You asked for me?
I want to see my brother.
[RAHIMA] I believe he is
at the building site.
Well, then I will visit him there.
Have my carriage made ready.
Certainly, Your Highness.
What is it?
It's probably nothing,
but I looked over the books,
the accounts as you asked me.
And?
And
there seems to be an irregularity
in some of your brother's numbers,
some funds unaccounted for.
You must be wrong.
Check again.
Yes, Your Majesty.
♪
Yes, I like the gardens.
Those are beautiful.
[ALESSANDRO]
You have a view of the river.
♪
Catherine, a pleasant surprise.
Yes, but apparently
I'm not your only surprise.
Queen Elizabeth wanted to see the site.
I wanted to show her
your vision for this country
a monument to unity.
Lovely spot for another one
of your great, big houses.
You have so many.
I've had such a delightful time
with your brother.
He is so charming. You must be so proud.
Indeed.
[ELIZABETH] And how is the king?
Ah, yes, I heard he fell.
Is everything okay?
I am most relieved, the king is well.
The doctor examined him thoroughly.
Oh, good luck.
Excellent. Well, we must go
after that stag again tomorrow.
Perhaps in a couple of days.
We wouldn't want to test
our luck so soon.
Yes, we will have to find a
different way to come to terms.
♪
Well, I think I've seen
everything I need to.
Shall we go back?
Of course.
Shall I escort the queen?
I would be most grateful.
Very well.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
You called for me, Your Majesty.
I did.
That will be all.
If you want an apology for my betrayal,
I cannot give you an honest one.
I thought you of all people
might understand.
Everyone's got to make
something of themselves.
I summoned you here for the truth,
not for the false testimony
you gave at the Privy Council.
When I rejected your services, you
found another patron, did you not?
When I learned
that you accepted my advice
and cut me out of the plot,
I did indeed approach another party.
Hmm.
The Bourbons.
So you told them that the poison
that you would give to Aabis
would, in fact, not be poison
and would therefore ensure
another miracle.
Almost sounds like something
the Serpent Queen
could have contrived, does it not?
♪
Perhaps.
And yet you took a dangerous risk
thwarting my plans.
I assessed the situation
and found no other option.
You made an astute deduction.
I'm impressed, Angelica.
I'd like you to return to my service.
Whatever I can do, Your Majesty.
[CATHERINE] There is one thing.
My brother
I want to know
what he does at all times.
Certainly.
Can I ask, why not give
this task to Rahima?
She is your most trusted, isn't she?
[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] No, you may not.
♪
- [DOOR OPENS]
- Never ignore an instinct
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- no matter how unpleasant.
♪
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
You wanted to see me?
I was going over the accounts
for the Tuileries project
and had some questions.
Are you telling me there's
money missing from the budget?
Because if you are
you would be correct.
I have taken some here
and there as I have seen fit
and adjusted the numbers accordingly
just like you.
[GROANS SOFTLY] Yes
you see, I know all about you
and your arrangements
with lace makers and manservants.
You take what you want,
because like me
♪
you were not born to be a servant.
♪
You know I am a prince
a Medici?
The blood that runs
through my veins
is the same as the queen's,
and yet I am to scrape and beg?
I don't think so.
Everything that was rightfully
mine was stolen from me
simply because of an accident
of matrimony,
and I intend to get it back fivefold,
whereupon these trifling sums
would be nothing.
♪
[CLICKS TONGUE]
Shall I go?
♪
[INSECTS CHIRPING, BIRDS SQUAWKING]
♪
What is this?
- What is this?
- It's a warning.
♪
You are surrounded by traitors.
I know the Guises and the Bourbons
conspire against me.
They always have,
and I'm dealing with it!
[RUGGIERI] You don't know the half
of what you're dealing with.
- You're wrong.
- [RUGGIERI] Ah.
You are so wrong!
I'm on the verge of solving
all of this country's problems
with a queen who is
as practical as I am!
If you're talking
about the bastard daughter
of Henry VIII, you are a fool!
- [GASPS]
- She will never be your ally.
And she will make the king
the slave of her bedchamber,
as she has so many others before him!
Who are you to talk
about the will of queens, huh?
You're just a peasant
hawking mud and ground herbs
and calling it destiny!
I am the one who has known you
since you were a girl.
♪
Have you seen any visions of late?
The raven, perhaps?
That's the symbol of England, is it not?
No!
You cannot deny your true
nature any more than Anjou can.
If you do
I've had enough of you
and your superstitions!
I never should have brought you
to France with me,
because you exploit my fears
as you do our intimacy!
It is time for us to part ways.
♪
My soldiers will come tomorrow
to raze this hut to the ground,
and I suggest you do not be here!
♪
No, no.
[ELIZABETH] Shame about that buck.
Well, perhaps
it was divine intervention,
our great Catholic God
striking down your plans
for wrecking France from the inside.
[ELIZABETH] Is that how you see me
as an agent of chaos?
Aren't you?
Something tells me you wouldn't mind
if I brought my kind of chaos
a bit closer to you,
no matter my intentions.
Mm.
My tastes are a bit different
from my brother's.
You wouldn't know what to do with me.
[ELIZABETH]
I wouldn't be too sure.
My tastes are not
as conventional as they seem.
I really do believe
we should sate our appetites
for the brief period
that we are here on this Earth.
So the Virgin Queen is?
A figure of speech.
Do you know
the more time I spend with you,
the more I question whether
I have, in fact, been presented
with the right brother?
Is that so?
Hmm.
There you are.
[ANJOU] Hello, brother.
I was just telling Queen Elizabeth
how much I thought
you two had in common.
Were you?
It's not like you
to pay me a compliment.
You know, it's hard to believe
that's the same little boy
who used to beg to sleep
at the end of my bed
curled up like a dog.
Goodness
all this unprocessed emotion
between the two of you
it is so invigorating.
What do you think
about a competition of skill?
I have to confess,
the idea makes me quite
pert.
A fence, a joust to settle things?
No, thanks.
[CHARLES] It doesn't matter
what we choose.
I will always best him,
unless, of course,
the competition is sartorial in nature.
Then I happily surrender.
Charles, I'd really rather not.
I insist, as your king.
[ELIZABETH] Oh, and I as your queen.
Then it's settled. We fence.
What fun.
♪
Are you enjoying playing the
English queen's courtship games?
I thought you'd be
all for this marriage.
If you care to hear,
I have proof that it's not for marriage
that the Queen of England
has arrived in France.
[WHISPERING] As it happens,
I do not care to hear,
as I'm sure you're proof only
concerns this girl
whom you seek to protect at all costs.
You need to go to Sister Edith,
hear her out, show your
followers that you're listening.
It's the only way to prevent war.
If I didn't know any better,
I'd say you have chosen her over me.
Anjou, choose your sword.
♪
Can I have a word?
If this is about my prospective bride,
your jealousy is beginning to bore me.
I'm sorry she doesn't want
the second in line
to the throne, Anjou.
[ANJOU] Charles,
this is not a good idea.
She's clearly trying to play us
off against each other.
This woman collects fiancés,
not husbands.
Well, why should I fear
a competition with you?
Even if you win,
she'll come running back to me
the moment she finds out
your true nature.
Everybody knows it's Sodom and Gomorrah
every night in your chambers.
After all, what queen wants
to be married to a faggot?
♪
Well
who am I to deny my king?
[CHARLES] Indeed.
♪
Charles.
You really must stop this.
You might still be affected
from your fall.
There is no shame in being cautious.
- Tell him.
- I did.
- I feel fine, Mother.
- You must stop it immediately.
I said, "I feel fine."
♪
[ELIZABETH] Oh, Catherine,
I'm so glad you decided to come.
Little friendly competition
between brothers
so romantic for my enjoyment.
I don't know about romantic.
In this heat?
Well, they are young men.
What could be more natural
than sweating like animals?
Unless, of course, the king is unwell,
in which case, we must stop it at once.
No. [SCOFFS] Of course not.
You are right.
- It's Mother's nerves.
- [ELIZABETH] Hmm.
♪
- Anjou.
- Mother.
♪
Let him win.
Beat him, and I will make sure
you regret it.
I do not speak in jest.
Tell me you understand me.
I understand.
♪
You're the king.
He's still your little brother here.
Everything all right?
I was just wishing both
of my sons good luck.
Good, 'cause as it stands,
the Valois brothers
are playing for my heart.
It is my intention to marry the winner.
♪
Care to make an assault?
[SWORDS CLANG]
♪
First touch for the Duke of Anjou.
[APPLAUSE]
♪
[SWORDS CLANG]
♪
Come on.
♪
[BALSAC] Second shot for the king.
- Best of three is a bout.
- [APPLAUSE]
Come on, Anjou,
you're going too easy on him.
[WHISPERING] Mother,
you must put a stop this.
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
♪
[MONTMORENCY] Come on.
What's the matter with you?
I'm handing this to you.
♪
[ALL GASP]
[CATHERINE] Doctor!
Charles, Charles. Charles, look at me.
Look at me, Charles.
♪
- [BREATHING HEAVILY, WHIMPERS]
- [COUGHING]
["TO KNOW HIM IS TO LOVE HIM" PLAYS]
To know, know, know him ♪
Is to love, love, love him ♪
My darling.
Just to see that smile ♪
He's fine, he's fine. He's fine.