The Simple Life (2003) s02e06 Episode Script

Episode 6

How do you think we work this thing? Hello? Put it on, like, a good channel.
Whoa.
Hello? It's not working.
Maybe we should go to a truck stop and really find out how to work this.
Yeah.
Hey, good looking girls.
Hi, gorgeous.
We're wondering if you could help us out.
What you need, baby? We don't know how to use this thing-- do you? I can show you.
Put it on 19.
Can you help us come up with a handle name? I think, being that your truck is pink, I'd call y'all the pink panther.
Would be a nice name for y'all.
- That's hot.
- That's hot.
This is the pink panther, calling all truckers.
Do you love it? Do you have any cream that's edible that I can lick off of you sexy truckers? Excuse me, this is the police, and I would like everyone to pull over and pull your pants down and start howling like a monkey.
My name's Bambi, and I'm stuck here on the road.
I'm all by myself with nothing but me and my g-string and my fluffer.
Can someone come help me? Let's take two girls both filthy rich Isn't that Paris Hilton? From the bright lights into the sticks from velvet ropes to cattle pulls let's take away their limousines their credit cards and shopping sprees well, they're both spoiled rotten will they cry when they hit bottom? Heaven knows if they'll survive this simple road trip kind of life.
Well, the girls are halfway home as they head out of Louisiana.
Trouble is, all this time in the car is beginning to take its toll.
Are we driving the totally opposite way of where we're supposed to drive? Probably.
I cannot wait to get to Texas.
And as tired as the girls are, they're not going to get any rest with their next family.
I've got plenty of stuff for them to do.
Any jobs you guys want to get out of? We've been living out here for 25 years on our little 40-acre farm.
We usually don't have extra farm workers actually helping out.
I think they should clean the chicken coop up.
Cleaning up the coop's a good one.
Yeah.
Feed the dogs.
If it stops raining, we'll paint the paint the house a little bit.
Yeah.
Hey, clean the outhouse.
Yeah.
Clean the outhouse.
It's yummy.
After the last party, we didn't clean it up.
I'll supervise.
I think they're here, finally.
Our farm workers.
Oh, no.
Jim, you better go help 'em.
That black clay'll just swallow them up.
- Are you our farm workers? - Yeah.
Cool, cool.
- Are you stuck? - Yeah.
If you're stuck, you're going to be here for a while.
You guys ready to work? We can maybe afford to pay one of you each hour.
That way, like, I'll be paying one of you that hour, and then-then the next time, the other person will be resting.
- Resting? - And then I'll hire Resting.
You know what I mean? - Like resting, sleeping? - Then I'll hire the other one the 2nd hour.
You know what I mean? So you get an hour's rest every other hour.
That didn't make any sense.
Here's our farm workers.
Oh, come on in, come on in.
It's dry inside.
Well, this is the living room.
It's where we do a lot of living.
Oh, here's our wood-burning stove.
This is how we heat our house in the wintertime.
Here's the stairway going up, up to the boys' rooms.
We kind of want to see the boys' rooms.
Oh, they can take you up there.
And I'll show you my room first.
What is that? That's a rattlesnake that I skinned right there.
- Where? - Right over here.
Sick.
I think they're going to be nice enough, a little ditsy, maybe.
I wouldn't be opposed to making out with either of them.
Yeah, probably once a year or so, we'll find a rattlesnake out here and kill him.
It's weird.
- I get a really weird vibe here.
- I know.
Me too.
That was so creepy.
What is it with, like, we get paid $5.
50 an hour, and we both have to take a rest and nap or something? What is he talking about? Well, you know, you might be here for about three weeks, because you're in the mud.
Oh, if you stayed three weeks, we could get all kinds of stuff done around here, couldn't we? Yeah, yeah, we have a lot of animals here.
We have one super-cool sheep that dances.
That's hot.
- A sheep that dances? - A sheep that dances.
Yeah.
It'll jump up and click its legs together.
That's hot.
Yeah, it is a very, very hot sheep.
- Are you guys twins? - No.
You guys look alike.
We do, yeah.
We are brothers and all.
Yeah, I think it's genetic.
- How old are you? - I'm 22.
Oh, perfect.
How old are you two? You-you're right around 22.
- I'm 23.
- Oh, you're 23.
Uh, 58's pretty good.
Now, these guys haven't they were born in this house.
You guys were born in the house? Yeah.
Did you do it in the bathtub? No, it was there on my bed.
Why? I just wanted my kids to be born here, so I just stayed home and did it.
Skye was sitting on the bed when Zephyr was born.
Yeah, it's very exciting, extremely exciting.
The most exciting thing that ever really, is to be there at a at a at a childbirth.
Very, very exciting.
The dad is really weird.
- He's like - Staring.
Are we going to die? I think I'm going to die.
It's like in the movie Carrie.
Totally.
- Right? - Mm-hmm.
- Blood everywhere.
- I'm scared.
Thank god we're sleeping in the trailer.
Can you help try to get the trailer out, you guys? We're going to going to try to get 'em unstuck.
Is that side dug in, too? They're both dug in, Jim.
Well, then have this one's worse.
Get it up on the wood here.
We need some flat, longer pieces of wood.
You reach on in there, get her done.
Okay, Zephyr, you can let her down now.
So, hey, you guys about ready? Okay, so, Paris, just go slow.
Yeah.
You're a mess.
Yeah.
You guys did a great job driving.
Sorry.
Serious, serious mud.
Yeah.
How long do we have to be here? I don't know.
I don't want to go back out there.
They're freaking me out.
Whose turn is it to rake the manure from underneath the chicken house? It's theirs.
I think you got that right.
- Shh.
They can hear us.
- Probably.
We need to get some chores done.
Skye.
Skye, the girls are asking about you.
- Yeah, what's up? - Close the door.
All right.
Oh, you're going to close the door on us now? Yeah, I think so.
We're not getting any work out of these kids today.
Do you guys listen to everything? Yeah, you guys listen to everything your parents say.
Um that'd be harder to do than you think, though.
Why? You don't have any gates.
I used to sneak out every single day, and I have security guards, LAPD.
I have everybody living at my house.
I had security cameras, everything, and I snuck out all the time.
I know how to do it.
Let's just do it.
I'm scared.
Just go.
Uh-oh.
Brake's on, the brake's on, the brake's on.
Is she going to come out? We're already gone.
Yeah.
I wonder when they're coming back.
Good question.
That was hot.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Are y'all looking for some color? - Yeah.
- Yes.
I'll do lay down.
I'll do lay down, too.
They're going to tan, too.
Never been in a tanning salon before.
Wonder what they're doing back there.
Hmm.
Yeah.
What's going on now? Are the girls still back there? How do we do the spray tan? We have the airbrush here, and if you're interested, I'll show you how to operate it, um Could we use it on one of the boys? Sure.
- Guys.
- Yeah? Am I going to, like, blotch? No, no, no, no.
We're just letting you, like, rub it in.
That'd be good.
It's, like, dripping down my stomach.
No, it'll dry.
- It dries.
- All right.
Behind the ears.
Hold on.
Or else it's not going to blend into you skin.
They're going to they're going to know.
That's hot.
I love that.
Just go in there.
Put your clothes on.
He's not dressed.
All right, come on, let's go.
You've got to stop moving, or else it's not going to be even.
I'm really trying to make this the best I-I can for you.
Oh, yeah? - How's it look so far? - Pretty good, probably, right? Yeah, really good.
It's really hot, really sexy.
All right, that's probably good.
It's a little a little blotchy.
Blotchy? Where? Show me one blotch there.
Just a little.
They showed up.
We really thought you guys were trying to get our goat by not showing up for dinner.
No, we wanted to come to your dinner.
I raised a pig last year for the stock show, and we happened to eat it for supper.
It was Zephyr's pig.
But they are really cute.
They're like little puppies when they're young.
They're very smart.
About this big, and it used to run around and act like a dog, hang out with the dog.
It looked like Babe, seriously.
It looked like Babe.
It was very cute.
We just joke about out dead animals that we raise, but I appreciate the pig.
I-I liked that pig.
I still like the pig.
That was gross, like, eating dinner, and all they do is talk about the pig.
I was, like, about to barf.
I know, about having raised the pig.
They're, like, eating it while talking about it.
Oh, my god, that thing is scary.
Blair witch project.
Hey, girls, what's going on in here? Hi.
Are you guys excited o go out tonight? Yeah, should be fun.
Sounds like fun, yeah.
We're going to try and get you some girlfriends so you can get laid.
You look like it hasn't happened in a while.
Uh, yeah, uh, yeah this is really happening.
Totally.
I'm going to go ask these girls if they want to meet you, 'cause I feel bad.
You guys are just sitting there all by yourselves.
Yeah, let's bring 'em home.
We came here to do something, right? Yeah.
Yeah, I guess.
- Hey, guys.
- Hi, I'm Paris.
- Nicole.
- Nicole, nice to mee you.
- Hey, I'm Noelle.
- Hey, Noelle.
Nice to meet you.
Right now, we're staying with this family.
Those two boys over there-- we're staying with them.
Do you guys maybe want to come sit up there with us? Have you guys ever dated boys from L.
A.
before? 'Cause we got them, like, L.
A.
tans.
Do you want to show them your tans? Nicole did it.
Oh, my god.
Lovely.
Show them the back.
What is that? Nicole did a it was a leopard print.
Nice meeting you guys.
Yeah, it was nice meeting you, too.
Hey, this is Skye.
This is Zephyr.
So, you guys should, like, exchange phone numbers.
We should.
We haven't really spoken to each other.
- Are you guys Christian? - Yes.
- Virgins? - Um mm-hmm.
So, you guys have to stop with, like, the chitchat.
You just have to be like, "Hey.
Looking for a place to go? What's your phone number?" - Just do that, you know? - Yeah.
Girls are so shady nowadays.
It seems like it.
I'm not.
You're not? - And even if they did - You and Paris excluded, but - Other than that.
- Yeah.
Guys, I couldn't find any girls, but sit down.
Okay.
Why don't we go back to girls? I think so, too.
Sorry, guys.
Thanks for trying.
We did the best we could.
I'm sure y'all did.
We really tried.
Good night.
That was hot.
Good night, guys.
It was fun.
I had a sexy time.
Yeah, me, too.
See you in the morning.
Bye.
See you later.
That was so funny with the guy.
I know.
Oh, my god! Oh! There's a chicken in the bed.
What the hell is? Did it lay eggs in our bed? Ew, it's dirty.
That is a dirty chicken.
Ew, don't pet its little jiggly thing.
Stop, it's grossing me out.
Stop it.
Let's dress it up in an outfit.
That is the craziest picture I've ever taken in my life.
I'm gonna let her go outside.
I feel bad.
So, we're going to go wake up the girls and then Let's have them go ahead and feed the chickens.
Do that before breakfast? Yeah, let's do that first.
Knock-knock.
Good morning.
Hi.
Oh, my gosh.
How often does your cleaning lady come in? Never.
Oh, no.
So, you got your farm worker clothes on today? Yup.
You don't own a pair of jeans? Aren't these hot? You can see through them.
Yeah.
They're pretty.
But I wouldn't want to ruin those on the farm.
You wouldn't want to work in the barn in those.
On the way, we need to get you guys to go feed the chickens.
Wait, what do you want done? - See that chicken feed there? - Yeah.
Just go in this in here.
Oh, my legs.
The grass is making my legs itch.
Uh-huh.
It's just poison oak.
You can wash it off.
Thanks.
Yup.
- It stinks so bad.
- I know.
How much does it stink? So bad.
Here's the baby chick food over here, too.
I love the babies.
They're so cute.
Yeah, they are cute.
I love it.
They're just three days old.
So, get some of this, some of that grain there.
That's baby chick starter.
That's good.
- That'll last them a day.
- Bye, guys.
They're so cute.
I love the babies.
That's hot.
What's that? That's the party outhouse.
That's really hot.
Look.
Yeah, there's the peacock.
I don't think she'll make the noise at the same time she shows her plumage.
He, that's a he.
He.
Excuse me.
This is a really good breakfast.
Mm-hmm.
Scrumptious.
Yeah.
There you go.
You'll see them make the sheep jump, and that'll be enough.
- Have you seen the sheep yet? - No.
I have a way with animals.
That's hot.
Aw, they're so cute.
That's the herd.
That's the herd.
Just pour a little bit into that.
So cute.
Yeah, that's White Top.
She is the most friendly sheep.
When she gets out of the fence, she comes onto the back porch and wants to get in the kitchen.
She's the one who dances.
She has her own website.
Yeah, it's called "the story of White Top.
" It's on my web page.
Dance.
Dance, White Top.
Is that a trick sheep, or what? See, that wasn't hard work, was it? - No.
- No, it was fun.
Well, with the sun finally shining, the girls were able to see that the family's not so different after all.
It's been great having you girls here.
Thanks for coming and helping out.
We love our farm workers.
Thank you so much.
Yeah, really.
Bye-bye.
Okay.
When we get some more work lined up here, we'll give you a call.
Cool.
We'll be here.
Bye.
I like this place.
Yeah, it was pretty cool.
We're still plugged in.
Plugged into what? - Nicole? - What? The extension cord is stuck to the bus.
Try it.
"Unlock, turn, lock.
" Oh.
Can we just, like drive with it like that? Yeah.
Just put it in there.
Miss Hilton, you must be worth a trillion bucks Ew, my hands.
I know.
I get the feeling that you don't really give a I have a feeling something bad's going to happen if we do this.
It won't.
We might run it over and get electrocuted.
Roller skates on a social butterfly, well Miss Hilton
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