The Wonder Years s02e06 Episode Script

In all the years I spent growing up at my parents' house, I don't think I ever heard them use the word "relationship".
Not once.
Damn taxes, are givin' me indigestion.
"Indigestion", "taxes", "damn" these were words you heard a lot.
I guess my mom just expected my dad to be a good man honest, loyal, a good provider hopefully possessed of good table manners.
Excuse me.
And my dad expected my mom to be a good woman honest, loyal, a good mother - What is this? - Tuna tetrazzini.
And hopefully a good cook.
And that was about it.
But if my parents didn't know much about relationships, they knew a lot about marriage.
Like how to make a joint-decision.
Mom would choose what she liked Dad would choose what he liked Then they'd settle on something no one of our species could like.
They could completely disagree about something, without directly contradicting each other.
That was twenty-nine.
I told you.
I'm stayin' on seventeen till Abbotsville.
- You think I should have taken twenty-nine.
I didn't say that.
You can stay on seventeen.
Thank you.
But that was twenty-nine.
One thing my parents would never, ever do is yell at each other in front of the kids.
Kevin! Wayne! - I told you to knock it off! - Boys! That's enough! Course, they had no problem yelling at the kids in front of each other.
I guess I never really thought of my parents as being in love.
But maybe that's the best thing for a kid, to never have to think about it.
It's just always there.
Like the ground you walk on.
- The surface of the earth may look stable but it's in constant motion, shifted by molten forces below.
The shapes of our continents, so familiar to us today, will shift and reform like so much pond scum.
Mr.
Cantwell had such a rosy view of the miracles of science.
- For example Scientists estimate that in a mere two million years, the United States, which now looks like this - Will look like this.
It was a horrifying thought.
Our once-proud nation, shaped like a wiener-dog.
Lights up.
Tomorrow, Section 6, of "Our Changing Planet", "Earthquake and Cataclysm.
Man's Dalliance with Death".
- Have a nice day Paul, are you coming? Why does our planet have to change? What? Why does our planet have to change? I like it the way it is.
Paul had a way of taking things a little too much to heart.
Did you feel something?! I think I just felt something.
- Paul.
- I swear I felt something! Paul.
It's not gonna happen for billions of years.
It's not like the world's gonna turn upside down overnight or something.
Kevin? Will you look at this bowl? Yeah? You think it's big enough for the Swedish meatballs? Sure.
- Wayne? You see that bowl? - Yeah.
- Will you take it over to the table? - Sure.
Oh, not there.
Karen, that bowl there? - This one? - Yeah.
Will you put that in the middle of the table? - Well I guess that's everything.
Jack, could you lift up that bowl? Something about a bowl, here? What? Notice anything different? You changed your hair.
I changed my hair three weeks ago That's what I meant, three weeks ago No The bowl.
- Didn't anybody notice the new bowl? I made it! How'd you make it? Well, I signed up for this ceramics course at the community college.
I never would have thought of doing that but Joyce Lynn Sedakis was signing up and she said it sounded really neat, and I thought Why not? - So, I didn't tell anyone 'Cause I didn't know if I'd be really good at it.
I mean, I know it's not really good - But it's just my first one.
- It's supposed to be lopsided? - Well no, I tried to I think it's cool that it's lopsided.
I mean, it's like more natural-looking.
It really is kind of neat, you know.
- You put this piece of clay on the potter's wheel you flip the switch, poke your fingers into it, and it just turns into a bowl.
Like magic.
- It's amazing to think of all the things you could do with this - Mom? That's fascinating.
Maybe we could talk about it over dinner.
I could tell my mother was waiting for something.
Although she wasn't gonna come right out and ask it, she wanted my father to say he liked the bowl.
And he knew she wanted him to say he liked the bowl.
And she knew he knew she wanted to say he liked the bowl.
But for some reason that I don't think any of us understood he wasn't saying it.
So what do you think, honey? A direct question.
This was a bold and unexpected move.
Smells great! Let's eat.
The entire sub-continent of India was once an island.
In the early Terciary period, it began moving toward Asia, and eventually the two collided, forcing the Himalayas violently upward.
Paul all we have to do is find four major fault-lines, and then we'll be done.
Where is India going? Asia's not gonna budge! It's crazy! Come on, Paul.
Fault-lines.
You want fault-lines? There's millions of 'em.
They're everywhere! I don't care about millions of 'em.
We only need four.
There could be one right under this house it could blow any time.
Paul! - Where's the map? But Paul was startin' to get to me.
I kept thinkin' of the time we cut open the golf ball.
All nice and smooth on the outside, and on the inside all that wound up, wormy rubber.
It was creepy.
And, then I started to think, what if - Kevin? - W-what's this? - I don't know I think it's a candle-holder, or something.
- It's weird! - No, it's not weird.
My mom made it.
She's taking a pottery class.
How come? I don't know.
Maybe she figured we need pots! - Where's my cup?! - I think Kevin used it.
- I did not! I'm sorry, but in a situation like this we must explore all avenues.
Norma! Where's my cup? I guess I should mention here, that my dad had this cup.
It had a picture of a fish playing poker on it.
And it said "Greetings from Independence, Missouri".
He loved that cup.
What is it doin' way back there? I made you a new one.
See? I made the handle bigger so it's easier to use.
- I just thought this was all stained and chipped and I just wanted you to have a nice, new cup for a change.
But I don't wanna change.
I like my old cup.
Honey, if you don't like the cup I made, you don't have to use it.
- OK.
Alright, I'll use it.
- No, you don't have to! - I don't want to use it if you don't like it, Jack! I want to use it! You notice he didn't say he liked it.
Well, maybe you could use both cups, Dad see, that way, you wouldn't have to get up, and pour yourself a second cup.
- This is nice, Mom.
- Yeah? You really think so? - Yeah! Yeah I do.
II think it's really interesting.
Richard said it has a real feeling of texturality or textuality, or something.
Dad's grunt meant "who is this Richard" "and why is he talking to my wife about textuality?".
Richard had to teach a blind man once, how to throw pots.
So he taught himself how to do it with his eyes closed.
- That's really beautiful! And that meant "I wonder how far I could throw this guy with my eyes closed?" Now, Richard's teaching himself to pot with his feet.
Because there's this man with no hands That night at dinner, things were quiet.
Too quiet.
I coulnd't even figured out what my parents were so mad about.
I just wished they'd say something.
Anything.
I wouldn't even mind if they yelled at me, at least it would be something they could do together.
That was it! If I just did something really, really bad then Dad would yell at me, and Mom would yell at me, and then both would be yelling at me and before you know it they'd be thinking and feeling as one! Kevin, what the hell are you doin'? OK.
That's great.
Now, Mom Tonight? While you sleep, pal! Who can tell me where the most-devastating earthquake In the last 200 years took place? One minute, a peaceful plain of small towns and rolling farmland.
The next minute, bingo! A hellish nightmare of death and devastation.
- I glued it together! So it works, now.
So, if anyone wants to use it, it'll be right here.
Unless it gets up and walks away.
I thought I'd close with a joke.
- Don't we have any Pepsi? - No, we're out.
- You goin' to the store? - I hadn't planned to.
- Where are you goin'? - Class.
I thought you had class on Wednesday.
I have to take my vase out of the kiln.
- Well, you gonna stop at the store on the way home? - If you want me to.
- I didn't say I wanted you to.
But if you're going to, you can get me some Pepsi.
- You want Pepsi? I'll get you Pepsi.
Nah, forget it.
I'll drink the Fresca.
- No I said I'll get some Pepsi.
- Nah, forget it.
- I said I'll get it, OK? - OK! - Fine! - Fine! This was gettin' weird! I'd never seen my parents like this.
The tension was becoming unbearable.
We all felt it.
Each in our own way.
- Fourth down.
Think they'll go for it? They were in the same situation last week.
And they went for it.
Remember? Yeah, it was really stupid.
It almost cost them the game.
So, what do you think they'll go with them? The draw play.
Think that'll be their best shot, huh? - What is this? - It's an ashtray.
It doesn't look like an ashtray.
Well, I think these are where the cigarettes go, and the ashes fall down here.
- See? - What does she think? We're gonna have 200 people smokin' here at once? I don't know.
Why can't she make an ashtray that looks like an ashtray? I don't know.
I didn't know.
I didn't really know why it mattered what her ashtray looked like.
But something here obviously mattered.
So, Dad.
Did you know that India, used to be an island? Hi, Mom! You made that? That's really nice! I like that! Hey, Mom, that is beautiful.
Look at this.
Yeah, that one didn't turn out too bad, did it? No, it's really good! You know, I didn't follow instructions on this one.
Richard told us to keep our eyes closed, and when he shut his, I peeked.
You are turning into such a rebel.
I mean tomorrow, we're gonna come home and find you burning your bras.
Karen! You know, Mom, you should make more like this one.
I mean, I bet you could sell 'em at the little craft store down by the movie theater.
- You really think so? - Yeah! You get the Pepsi? - I forgot.
- Great.
- Well, I'm sorry.
I just forgot.
- I know.
- I'm sorry.
Don't get upset! I'll just go get it now.
- I'm not upset.
- I thought you said you were going to get the Pepsi.
- If I know you weren't get the Pepsi I could have gotten it myself.
I mean, you shouldn't say you're gonna get Pepsi for someone if you're just gonna forget to get it.
I see.
I'm just supposed to know when I'm gonna forget something? Sure.
I knew you were going to forget.
Time to check the score on the old ball game.
There really wasn't much I could add to the conversation.
You know, Dad? Sometimes you can be such a male chauvinist pig.
Karen, on the other hand, somehow knew just the right thing to say.
Where're you goin'? I better get your Pepsi while it's fresh on my mind.
- Don't bother, I'll get it.
- No, that's OK, Jack! I'll get it.
- I said I'll get it.
- Don't break it! I'm not gonna break it, Norma! - Just because you hate my pottery is no reason to smash it to pieces! - I don't hate your pottery! Notice he didn't say he liked it.
You certainly act like you hate it! Now, what's that supposed to mean?! It means that from the moment I started doing this you haven't had one nice thing to say! Well, maybe I'm not big on pottery! So sue me! - Well, you certainly seem fond of your stupid little fish cup! - I've never seen anyone so attached to anything since Kevin had to give up his blankie! - I don't want to talk about this.
- Well, maybe I do, Jack! It's not fair! You're making me feel like I'm doing something wrong! You're crazy! I'm not makin' you feel anything! - Sure.
You've been a regular "Mr.
Sunshine"! You Know Jack, the kids all say "that's nice, Mom".
My friends say "that's nice, Norma".
My teacher says "very good Mrs.
Arnold".
And you say "where's the Pepsi?" I really don't have time for this.
I spend my time trying to make something nice for the family and you don't even have the common courtesy to say you like it! Don't gimme that, Norma! This family doesn't need an ashtray for 200 people! This family needs Pepsi! - That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life, Jack! You just listen to yourself "I want my Pepsi! I want my cup!" - You sound like an infant! - Don't you ever, ever speak to me in that tone of voice! - I'll speak the way I want to Fine! Don't expect me to listen to it.
The silence that filled our house that night, was like ice.
My dad didn't come home till after midnight.
I know it sounds strange, but that was the first time I'd ever seen my parents alone together.
Did you burn yourself? It's OK? Yeah That's good.
I guess sometimes the ground can shift beneath your feet.
Sometimes your footing slips, you stumble.
And sometimes, you grab what's closest to you, .
.
and hold on, as tight as you can.
Taurus Mind