Ugly Betty s02e06 Episode Script

Previously On "Ugly Betty" I Just Got Fired Because You Went Crying To Your Boss.
You're Late.
Take Off Your Clothes.
Ha Ha.
Easy, Sailor.
Buy A Girl A Drink First If You Had Told Me That I Would End Up At Your Apartment, I Would Not Have Believed You.
The Bradford Meade- Wilhelmina Slater Weddin Is Back On.
I Lost Atlantic Attire.
He Was Protectinme.
Don't Defend Him.
I Know You're Leaving In Five Months, And I Know That I'm Gonna Get My Heart Broken, But Maybe It's Worth It, As Long As We Keep Our Relationship Secret.
Hey.
I'm Not Going Anywhere! Hurry, Mija, Into The Kitchen.
Betty, Come On.
What Are We Doing? This Was Hilda's First Week At The Beauty Salon Oh.
So We're Surprising Her.
Uh, But I Was Gonna Go To The Movies.
You're Going To The Movies Alone? Betty, You Can't Keep Moping Over This Henry Thing.
You Need To Be With Your Family And Food.
No.
You Know What, Dad? You Can't Keep Tempting Me With Food.
It's Not Gonna Work Anymore.
(Singsongy Voice) I Made Carne Asada.
Just One Bite.
(Whispers) Hurry.
(Betty, Ignacio And Justin) Surprise! There She Is, Queeof The Hairstylist To The Stars.
I Should've Worked On This.
Oh, Stop.
It's Just A Job.
No Biggie, Okay? No Biggie? Hilda, You're Following Your Dream.
We Are So Proud Of You, Mija.
Oh.
Forget Dreams.
Tell Me About The Bumble And Bumble Salon.
I Heard One Time Beyonc?Went In There To Get Her Weave Tightened, But Fergie Wanted The Appointment, So She Totally Bitch-Slapped Her.
Hey.
What? There's No Other Word For It.
I Think What Justin Is That We're All Very Excited About Your New Job.
We Are.
Oh, Come On, You Guys.
You Know, I Don't Like To Be The Center Of Attention.
Okay, I Love You.
Congratulations.
My Movie Starts At 7:00.
You're Going To A Movie? Uh-Huh.
Alone.
Why Don't We All Go? "Project Runway's" A Rerun Tonight.
Yeah, I Can Pack Up The Carne Asada.
Oh, Yeah, Betty.
Get Your Big Purse.
No! Uh, No.
Dad Made This Beautiful Dinner.
We Should Stay.
Forget About The Movie.
Um, I'm Gonna Go Hang My Coat.
Okay.
(Whispering) Henry.
(Henry Whispering) Betty.
Henry.
Bey.
Oh, Uh, I Can't Go.
I Know.
Your Family's Really Loud.
I'm Sorry.
They Just They Don't Want Me To Be Alone.
(Normal Voice) Monday Daniel Didn't Want You To Be Alone, And On Tuesday, Christina Didn't Want You To Be Alone.
Shh.
(Normal Voice) I Know.
They're Just--They're Trying To Help Me Get Over You.
We See Less Of Each Other Now Than We Did Before We Were Going Out.
(Ignacio Laughs) Wouldn't It Just Be Easier To Tell Them The Truth? No.
No, We Can't.
?? We're Doing Something Really Stupid, Henry.
You're Leaving For Tucson In Five Months, And I Don't Need Them Telling Me ?? ok you are right??? i miss you?? I'm Here Now.
(Hilda) Betty! Hide! Aah.
Oh! (Clattering) Oh.
Come Inside.
Papi Unscrewed The Good Wine.
(Whispers) I'm Sorry.
I Gotta Go.
I'm Sorry.
(Christina) Ugh! Just Got The Designer Swimwear For The Preview Issue, And, Once Again, Summer Is Not Going To Be Kind To The Big Girls.
Hello? This Aects Both Of Us, You Know.
Look At That.
Come On.
Christina, I Gotta Ask You Something.
You Know How Sometimes You Say You're Not Gonna Have A Drink, But Secretly, You've Got This Great Bottle Of Alcohol, Like-- Like A 20-Year-Old Bourbon.
No, No, No, No, Better.
A Single Malt Whiskey.
Yeah.
No--Or Just Like Maybe An Iced Cold Bottle Ofeer-- Oh, Okay, It Doesn't Matter.
You've Got This Booze, And You Can't Tell Anyone About It Because They Know It's Bad For You.
But All You Can Think About Is Going Home And Drinking And Drinking-- What Is This, A Bloody Intervention? Because I Can Give Up Whenever I Want.
No, No.
This Has Nothing?? ?? Okay, Let's Start Over.
Uh, Say You Have A Dozen Doughnuts And-- Christina, I Have Your Budget Approvals.
Oh, Betty.
Henry.
I Have To Go.
Oh, My God.
He's Your Doughnuts.
Yes.
And He's Delicious, And I Can't Tell Anyone.
But, Betty, He's Got Charlie And The Baby, And He's Leaving, And It's Crazy.
Shh.
But It's Ao Very Hot.
Oh, But You Could Get Your Heart Broken.
Yeah, But Who Cares? It's Also Hot, Hot.
I Know, But It--It's Wrong.
Or Is It Right? Either Way, We Have To Keep It A Secret.
Secret Romance, But That Means We Never Get To See Each Other.
We Haven't Even Ooh, Ooh, Cold, Cold.
I Know.
Okay, So You Wanna Keep It Secret? Use Me As Your Cover Tonight, Okay? But You've Gotta Take That Doughnut, And You've Got To Bite It And Dunk It In Your Coffee And Get It Hot, Warm And Wet, And Then (Grunts) Bite Into It Again And--Oh, God, I Need A Drink.
I Ne A Doughnut.
(Bradford) This Is Unbelievable, Daniel.
I Told You, Atlantic Attire Said I Had To Let Go Of Alexis Or They Would Pull Their Advertising.
What Was I Supposed To Do, Fire Her? Take Her Name Off The Masthead For Three Months.
Then You Offer This Guy Six Issues At Half Our Normal Rate-- Basic Business.
I Guess I Didn't Think-- You Didn't Think.
You Just Told Him To Take His Business Elsewhere.
Okay, Guys.
It Happened.
Why Don't We Try And Get Some Big Players In For The Next Issue? When I Was At Hudson, I Had Some Great Contacts At Ralph Lauren.
Yeah, I Mean, I Know Some People In Ralph Lauren, Too.
You've Done Enough.
Alexis Will Take Care Of It.
Oh! (Betty) Whoa.
Hei hei Hello.
Gio, Hi.
What Are You Doing Here? Phase One Of Giovanni Rossi's I Rented Out The Little Sandwich Kiosk Down In The Lobby.
Oh, That's Great.
And Because You Got Me Canned From My Old Job, Which Lit A Re Under Me Three Coupons.
Ah, A Free Cookie.
But You Know What? You Did Geme Canned, So Let's Make It Two.
You're Welcome.
"Coming Soon-- Gio'sandwiches.
" Hmm.
What's With The Face? Well, No, It It's Just A Littlery.
Maybe You Could Try Something Catchy.
Oh, Like That Doughnut Shop Downstairs.
"A Hole Lotta Fun.
" That Just Makes Me Smile.
Oh, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.
That's Also The Name Of A Strip Club In Bayside.
Ew, And Now I Know You Better.
So You Make Sandwiches.
How About Calling It, Uh "On A Roll"? Oh, No, Wait-- "Hero Worship"! And You Could Have A Little Cartoon Sandwich Who Flexes His Muscles.
I Already Have 500 Flyers That Say "Gio's Sandwiches" And A Pickle With A Smiley Face.
Well, Th's Good, Too.
Oh, Uh, Excuse Me, But Think About It.
Okay.
Daniel, So How Was Your Meeting With Your Father? The Usual.
Alexis Is Gonna Save The Magazine.
Daniel Is A Dumb-Ass Trying Not To Trip Over His Own Shoes.
(Bradford Laughs) Daniel (Alexis Laughs) Well, You N't Keep Letting What Your Father Says About-- It's Okay, Betty.
I Actually Have A Plan.
You Do? Try Not To Be So Skeptical.
I Actually Need You To Call Ad Sales.
Get All Of Their Leads.
Alexis Isn't The Only One Who Can Save This Place.
I'm Gonna Go Find Us An Advertiser.
Damn It.
Hey, Party In The Village Last Night.
You Will Not Believe Whose Boob Popped Out.
Oh, Need To Know.
Not Now.
We're At Code Fuchsia.
(Gasps) You Got Someone Pregnant? Oh, That's Code Never.
Wilhelmina's Daughter Nico Called.
She's Not Coming To The Wedding.
(Gasps) Oh, My God.
Dot Worry.
I Am Your Friend, And I Will Be Here For You Noatter What.
(Wilhelmina) Someone's Getting Fired Today.
(Amanda Gasps) Oh, Is Daniel Calling Me? I Think I Have To Go.
Bye.
Wilhelmina Slater, Everyone.
How Was Your Dress Fitting? Disastrous.
I Haven't Eaten In 10 Days And I Overshot My Target Weight.
My Custom Vera Wang Makes Me Look Like A White Silk Shar-Pei.
And That Diva Wang Said There Wasn't Enough Time To Alter The Boning.
Oh, What Does Wang Know About Boning, Anyway? (Gasps) Oh.
Stop.
Meatbread.
Stop It.
Stop It.
I Have To Gain 6 Pounds By Saturday To Fill It Out.
Oh.
(Sighs) Look At Her.
She Makes It Seem So Easy.
Hang On.
(Sniffs) I Smell Fear.
What Did You Do Wrong? Oh, Willie, Wrong Is Really A Matter Of Perception.
You See, Sometimes In Life, We Have To--Aah! Nico Got Bit By Her Pet Monkey, And She's Fine, But She's Quarantined And She Can't Make It Tohe Wedding.
Terrific.
Now I Have To Redo The Seating Charts Again.
Um, Isn't She Also Your Maid Of Honor? Oh, Marc.
I Have Flower Problems And Catering Problems, And Bradford Wants Something Called A "Shania Twain" To Perform At Our Reception.
I Have Way Bigger Issues.
Find Out What Betty Is Having For Lunch And Order Me Two.
Oh, Hello, Accountant.
Oh, Hello, Daniel's Assistant.
I Just Need Your Signature Right Here On That--Oops.
Oh.
I Opped It.
So, Look, Um I Was Feeling Really Bad About E Fact That I Haven't Made Time For You, And I Was Thinking Maybe Tonight We Could Have A Real Date? What Do You Have In Mind? Well, We Never Got To See "Wicked" Last Year Like We Wanted.
"Wicked"? Wicked Awesome.
And Then, Maybe Afterward, The Date Could Continue? (Objects Clatter) Ow.
Yeah, Yeah.
That Could Be Good.
I Mean, Whatever.
(Daniel) Bet? (Bell Dings) Oh.
There Is Nothing Going On.
He Was Just Signing Some Papers Under The Desk.
We Always Do It That Way.
I'm Protecting Your Privacy.
Are You Forgetting How Crushed You Were When He Left You The First Time? Daniel, I Am Not Dating Henry.
Because If You Were, I'd Have To Seriously Think About Getting Rid Of Him.
Murder? What? No.
God, I Hate That It's So Easy To Go There With My Family.
No, I Mean Fire Him.
I'm Not Gonna Let Him Break Your Heart Twice, Betty.
You'd Actually Do That? Come On, Betty.
You Butt Into My Life All E Time Because You Care About Me.
Like It Or Not, I Care About You, Too.
Well, U Have Nothing To Worry About.
Will You Please Hide Your Mutt? If Wilhelmina Sees It, She's Gonna Melt Cheese On It And Eat It.
Hey, You.
Oh (Clears Throat) (Halston Barks) Halsn, That's Prada! Hey, Bud.
"Bud"? Hey, That's Your Friend, Amanda, Right? Oh, No, No, No, No, No.
Amanda's Much Prettier.
What Are You Doing Here? (Baby Talk Voice) I Just Miss My Wittle Marc-Y Marc.
Ew, I Thought We Talked About That Voice.
You Were Gonna Retire It And Move It To Florida.
(Normal Voice) ?? Oh, Am I Gonna Seeou Tonight For Dinner? Yeah, Sure.
My Place? (Groans) We Always Eat At Your Place When We're Not Eating At My Place.
You Know, I Hear New York Has These Little Things Called Restaurants.
Oh, But Restaurants Have?? (Clears Throat) And Lights.
Blah.
Okay, Starting To Get?? What? Do You Not Want To Be Seen With Me Or Sometng? What? No.
That's Crazy.
(Laughs) But I Forgive Your Foolishss.
Great.
I'll Make A Reservation At Craft For 8:00.
Tee-Riff.
Craft It Is.
Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
You Know The Fashionorld-- Very Homophobic.
See You At 8:00.
No.
(Sighs) So "Wicked's" Sold Out? Well, There's Gotta Be Something.
No, Don't Wanna See "Mama Mia.
" Well, Becae "Wicked" Means Something Really Special To The Boy I'm Dating, And Abba Means Nothing.
Oh, Come On, Haven't You Ever Had An Office Romance? You Know, You're Selling Tickets, And--And The Guy In The Cubicle Next To You Is Selling Tickets, And Then Your Eyes Meet And-- Office Romance? Ma You're Always Just There.
Uh, Okay, So You Heard "Office Romance," And Now You're Thinking, I Have To Get Rid Of Henry.
But You Don't, Because I'm Not Dating Henry.
I'm Dating Uh That Guy! Oh, I Just Love It When He Does That.
³óÅ®±´µÙ µÚ þ¼¾µÚ6¼¯ ·­Òë&У Ô£ºÐ¡°× ʱ¼äÖ᣺Uranus&¾ÆÄÒ·¹´ü Marc! This Is Disaster.
I Knew The Maid Of Honor Thing Would Hit You Eventually, But I Have An Idea-- We'll Video Conference Nico, That Way She Can-- This Is Not About Nico.
Look.
Chocolates.
Disastrous.
Why Again? These Are The Favors For The Reception.
There's Supposed To Be Onehite And One Dark In Each Box.
Ebony And Ivory.
My Wedding Theme? Oh.
That Idiot Wedding Planner Has Gone And Segregated Them.
This Is Unacceptable.
What Do We Want? Integrated Chocolates.
When Do We Want Them? Now.
(Sighs) If I Want Anything Done Right, I Have To Plan It Myself.
Get Me The Seating Chart.
Willie, You Can't Do This All Yourself.
Hey, Why Don't I Stay With You Tonight And Help You Get Through All This? However Long It Takes.
You Don't Have Any Of Your Gay Plans? Mnh-Mnh.
What Could I Do, Cliff? She's Ordering Me To Stay Late.
I Know.
She Totally Is With A Capital "" I'm So Sorry.
Hey, Betty.
You Know, There's Something Wrong With My Sandwich.
Will You Take A Look At It? I'll Get You Another One.
No, No, Just Pick The Bun Up.
, Really.
?? Come On, Betty.
Do It.
No, Daniel.
I Don't Want To See Something Gross.
(Sighs) Damn It.
You Ruin All My Fun.
Do You Know That? This Is Thad For "Wicked.
" I Got You And The Sandwich Guy Tickets To The Show.
That's Why I Put It In The Forget It.
Oh, No.
No.
No, No, No.
I Get It.
I Get It.
Thank You.
Oh, My Gosh, That's So Sweet.
Well, How Did You Even Find Tickets? Oh, This Is "Mode.
" I Mean,?? Amanda Can Get You Tickets To Just About Any Show-- Great.
Nowou're Eating My Sandwich.
Perfect.
(Mouth Full) Oh, I Thought That Was Mine, Too.
Okay, I'll Trade You My "Fiddler On The Roof," With Harvey Fierstein, For Your "Gypsy" With Ethel Merman.
Nice Try, Hillary.
The Merman's A Collector's Item.
One Day, It'll Pay For My College Tuition Or Send Me To Billy Elliott School.
Hey, Guys.
If You Didn't Bring "Spamalot," Do Not Even Step Into This House.
Broadway And The London.
Suck That.
So, Justin, My Dad Saw Your Mom At Her Work Today.
Your Dad Got A Bume Cut? He's A Plumber.
No, He Saw Her At Lunch.
You Know That Restaurant Hi-Beems? Oh, Yeah, It's Like Hooters,?? Well, He Took A Video Of His Waitress With His Phone.
Hello.
(Laughs) The Prada People Are Waiting In The Conference Room For You.
Okay.
Do They Seem Friendly? Well I Forgot To Ing Sweetener For The Blonde Woman's Coffee, And She Tried To Put Her Cigarette Out On My Arm.
But Don't Worry.
You're Gonna Be Great.
Here Are The Ad Rates And The Circulation Reports.
Oh, And, Uh, Hold On.
You've Got Something.
You Didn't Just Do That.
You're Welcome.
Oh, And, Uh, Daniel.
I'm Leaving Soon.
So Did Amanda Give You Those Tickets To "Wicked"? Oh, Yeah.
I Gave Them To Your Boyfriend.
He Seemed Pretty Excited.
So I'm Just Curis, Being Your Boyiend And All, Am I A Gentle Lover? Ew.
Shut Up.
I Had To Tell My Boss I Was Going Out With Someone, And You Were The First Guy I Saw.
Flattered.
Why Are You Lying To Him? Because, Well, I-- I'm Dating Someone That I Don't Want Daniel To Know About.
Ooh, You're Cheating On Me After I Was So Gentle? Stop It.
Can I Just Have My Tickets, Please? First Tell Me?? No.
Tell Me Who You're Dating.
Why Don't You Just Get Your Own Life? Please? Okay, Henry From Accounting.
There.
Oh, Yeah.
Egg Salad On White.
Sexy.
More.
(Sighs) Okay He Got A Girl Pregnant, And I Don't Want Daniel To Know That I'm Dating Him, Because If He Does, He's Just Gonna Tell Me That I'm Being Stupid.
Wow.
You Are Being Stupid.
You're A Very Rude Fake Boyfriend.
Now Can I Have My Tickets, Please? Uh, No.
Uh, The Other One, Too.
I Need To Be Prepared In Case Daniel Asks Me About The Show.
What? Are You Kidding? Hey, He Gave Them To Both Of Us, Oy? You Do What U Want With Yours, And I'm Gonna Do What I Want With Mine.
Well, I'm Not Gonna Go With You.
Thank You For Ruining My Special Night.
Oh, And I Have News For You, Buddy.
Your Pickle With The Smiley Face (Scoffs) It's It's Bad.
Ooh, Big Words Coming From The Writer.
Suck It.
Why Are You Talking About That Guy's Pickle? Never Mind.
Oh, Amanda.
Gosh, You Look So Pretty Today.
I Love That Sweater.
Well, Thank You.
I Love Your Okay.
Look, Daniel Says You Have Access To Theater Tickets.
Please, I--I'll Do Anything You Want.
Why Are You Smiling Like That? I Was Just Picturing You Walking Halston For A Month.
Okay.
?? I'd Say Your Chances For Making This Cover Are Very Good.
(Chuckles) Excuse Me.
I'll Be Right Back.
Okay.
Dude, Things Are Getting Hot Downstairs.
I've Been Shooting Swimsuit Previews, Once Again, The Summer's Gonna Be Kind To The Big Girls.
(Laughs) Hello? This Affects Both Of Us.
I Just Hope There's Still A Magazine When The Time Comes To Print A Swimsuit Issue.
What Are You Talking About? I Lost A Bunch Of Advertisers, And I Thought I Had A Shot At Landing Prada, But I Just--I Blew It.
Let Me See Who You're Going After.
Michael Sheeter, Armani.
Larry Champion, Cartier We Have A Winner.
Four Words-- San-Dra Win-Throp.
When You Say "Four Words," You Mean "Syllables"? She Owns Some Jewelry Company.
I Did A Shoot For Her Last Year.
Over 50 And Foxy (Growls) Are You Saying I Have To Hit On Her To Try To Get Her To Buy Ad Space? If You Wanna Land Your Advertiser, Land Your Advertiser.
Ay.
Justin, You Scared The Crap Out Of Me.
So How Was Work? Oh, You Know, Cut Some Hair, Did A Little Coloring.
(Chuckles) And Now Mommy Wants To Put Her Feet Up And Watch Some "Extra.
" I Read On The Internet That Madonna Came In Today.
Oh, Yeah, Sure.
She Was There.
I Got Kabbalah This, Kabbalah That.
Liar! Madonna's Recording In London Till The End Of The Month.
Whoa.
Okay, So She Wasn't Really There.
What Is Going On With You? No, What's Going On With You? My Friend Duncan's Father Says, "Hi.
" Or Should I Say, "Hi-Ems"? Oh, Crap.
What Happened To Bumble And Bumble? Okay, Look.
Maybe I Offered Some Constructive Suggestions To One Of The Stylists There.
You Got Fired? Well, It's Not Like He Had To Take Them! So You've Been Pretending To Go? Why Would You Lie To Us? Because Meant So Much To You And Papi.
I Was Following My Dreams.
You Guys Put Up Freaking Balloon.
But, Mom, Hi-Beems.
Seriously? Yeah, I Was Looking For A Salon Job For A Month.
You Know How Many Offers I Got? One.
And I Got Fired From That On The First Day.
So After A While, You Gotta Be Practical.
And We Needed The Money More Than I Needed To Follow My Dreams.
Can You Believe This? It's Our First Real Date.
(Laughs) Did You Just Skip? (Laughs) No.
Okay, Maybe.
I'm Just Really Excid.
I'm Excited, Too.
What Are You Doing? What? We Don't Know Anybody Here.
Hey, You Don't Know Us.
We're Dating.
(Man) Mm-Hmm.
Great.
Aughs) Dating.
(Laughs) You're Right.
We Can Do This.
We Don'tnow Anybody Here.
Except Him.
Betty.
Hey.
Didn't Think I'd See You Here.
Hi, Uh, Gio.
Henry, This Is Gio Proud Owner Of Gio's Sandwiches.
Catchy, Right? Hey, How's It Goin' There, Egg Salad? Hey, Listen, I Know You Guys Have This Whole Secret Thing.
Don't Worry, I Won't Say Anything.
(Chuckles) So, Gio, What Did You Do With Your Extra Ticket? Pick Up Somerampy Blonde On The "E" Train? Well, Maybe You Should Meet Her.
Annella? Thanks For The "Defying Gravity" T-Shirt.
(Gio) Oh, Of Course.
Betty, This Is My Sister, Antonella.
Nella, This Is The Nice Lady Who Gave Us The Tickets.
Hi.
Aren't You A Little Old For Braces? Ooh, Oh, Hey.
You're Welcome.
Owers Voice) Why'd You Get Them Tickets? (Lowers Voice) I'll Explain Later.
(Normal Voice) Uh, I'll Explain Now.
Get Down.
Daniel Gave Our Tickets To Gio Because He Thinks He's My Boyfriend 'Cause If He Finds Out That I'm Dating You, He's Gonna Try And Fire You.
What? He's Just Being Real Protective, So I Have To Sit With Gio And You Sit With Antonella.
But We Can Still Have Our Fun Date, Now Go! Go, Go, Go! And Take The Kid I'm Not Sitting??? Heh, Okay, I Really Don't Want That Name To Catch On.
Oh.
Oh.
Come On.
This Way, This Way.
Daniel, Hi.
Hi.
What Are You Doing Here? Oh, I'm Seeing The Show With One Of Our Potential New Advertisers.
This Is Sandra Winthrop.
(Laughs) He's Wooing Me.
?? I Told Him I Like The Theater, So Here We A.
Well, Uh, I'm Betty, Daniel's Assistant.
It's Very Nice To Meetou.
Oh, Nice To Meet You.
Oh, And This Is Gio.
Her Boyfriend.
(Sandra) Oh.
You Guys, You Know Amanda Got Us Seats Right Next To You, So You Bettebehave.
I'm Gonna Keep My Eye On You.
Shall We? ?? (Betty's Voice) "Youabou T Tor A Cough.
That's Me Saying Hello.
" (Betty Coughs) * By My Frank Analysis * * Think Of It As Personality Dialysis * * Now That I' Chosen To Become A Pal, A Sister * * An Advisor, There's Nobody Wiser * (Cell Phone Buzzes) (Henry's Voice) "You're About To Hear A Sneeze.
That's Me Saying Hello.
" (Henry Sneezes) * And With An Assist M Frome* (Gio) You're About To Hear A Gagging.
That's Me, Gagging.
* Nothing That Can Stop You From Becoming Popular * Looks Like Your Boss To Put The Mn His Mother.
Well, That Ridiculous.
It's Business.
He A Total Professional.
Yeah, Professional Dog.
Shh.
Check It Out.
He's Gonna Do The Old "Armrest Boob Graze.
" (Sandra) Mmm.
Daniel.
What? What Areou Doing? Are You Trying To Put The Moves On That Client? No.
Maybe.
Look, I Know You Want To Try And Save The Magazine, But You Don't Have To Reduce Yourself To Seductive Bb Grazing-- Shh.
I-- You Shh.
You're Better Than This.
No, Alexiss Better Than This.
She Knows How To Sell The Magazi.
I Know How To Sell Myself.
(Gio) Great.
Now I Missed The Whole Song.
Nails At 10:00 A.
M.
Mm-Hmm.
Makeup At 11:00 A.
M.
And Hair At 12:30.
Mnh-Mnh.
12:30's Too Early For Hair.
What If It's Windy? I'll Make Sure It Isn't.
Who Ordered Steak For Two And Chocolate SoufflÉ For Desert? Mm, I Don't Know, But I'm Taking Them.
Tip Him $5.
He Needs A Haircut Okay.
But-- Mmm.
But That Was From Craft, For Us.
I Thought I'd Surprise You For Your Dinner Break.
She Doesn't Give Dinner Breaks.
Wilhelmina Treats All White People Like Slaves.
Something About Payback.
Ooh,Hat Kate Moss Is Hot.
I Would So Go Girl For Her Hey, I Shot Those, And If I Were A Girl, I'd Dher, Too.
Amanda, Right? Oh, Let's Not Bother Her.
Marc, Introduce Us.
(Marc) Oh, Didn't I? This Is My Friend, Cliff.
My Friend? (Chuckles) My Friend? My Friend? (Low Voice) I Don't Think He's Your Iend.
You're Right.
I'm Not.
I'm His Boyfriend.
Or Should I Say "Was"? (Normal Voice) Boyfriend? Was.
Was? Good-Bye, Marc.
You're Pathetic.
Where Are You Going? I Have Too Much Respect For Myself To Put Up With This.
Now If You'll Excuse Me, I'm Going Home To Binge On Pasta.
(Wilheina) Did Someone Say "Pasta"? And We Can't Just Let Him Loose Anywhere, You Know.
We've Got To Find Someplace Safe.
You Think I'm Really Stupid, Don't You? No, Not Reallystupid.
(Audience Laughs) (Man) Why Is It Every Time I See You, You're Causing Some Sort Of Commotion? (Woman) I Don't Cause??? What Are You Doing? Pretending To Be Your Boyfriend.
Well, Stop.
(Woman) You Think I Want To Care This Much? Do You Think I Don't Know How Much Easier My Life Would Be-- (Man) Do You Ever Let Anyone Else Talk? (Low Voice) You Know, You're Sending A Lot Of Mixed Signals.
Shut Up.
What? My Brother's Totally Macking On Your Girlfriend.
(Woman) .
.
And Self-Absorbed You Pretend To Be-- (Man) Oh, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
Excuse Me.
There Is No Pretense Here.
(Cell Phone Buzzes) I Happen To Be Genuinely Self-Absorbed.
(Henry's Voice) "Lobby.
Now.
" What's So Important? Why Did That Sandwich Guy Have His Arm Around You? He Was Pretending.
Well, It Didn't Look Like He Was Pretending.
Oh, This Lie! Look At What It's Doing To Us.
This Isn't The Date I Wanted To Have.
Yeah, But It's?? And You Sure Seem To Be Enjoying It.
At? Wait A Minute.
Henry, You Got Another Girl Pregnant.
You're Not Allowed To Be Jealous.
That's Just It.
You Keep Talking About How Sad You're Going To Be When I Leave.
But I Have To Leave You.
?? Okay, You And That Guy? That Is Yourboyfrid? Look, I Know He's Not My Type.
Not Your Type? It's Like He Ate Your Type.
Okay, But What You Don't Know Is That He's Really Sweet.
He Wrote Me A Poem And Left It On My Bathroom Mirror.
He Met Tyrese At A Photo Shoot And Got Him To Call Me On My Cell Phone.
And Sometimes, He Does This Thing Where He Pretends Like His Belly Button Is A Mouth, And He Puts On A Little Puppet Show For Me, And He Calls Him Mr.
Gutley.
(Deepens Voice) "Hello, I'm Mr.
Gutley.
" (Coughs) "Lint.
Excuse Me.
" Who Are You? (Normal Voice) Oh, I Don't Know Anymore.
I Never Liked A Guy Like Cliff.
Oh! What Do I Do? Let Him Go Just Because He Doesn't Use Product? Cliff Or Mr.
Guty? Oh, That Stupid Belly Button Makes Me Laugh! I Don't Wanna End Up Sad And Alone Like Wilhelmina.
Oh.
I Mean, Her Own Daughter Makes Up An Excuse Not To Come To Her Wedding.
Wait, I Thought Nico Got Bit By A Monkey.
A Monkey? (Scoffs) Please.
And Wilhelmina's Marrying Bradford For Love.
Willie (Singsongy Voice) Look What I Found In Amanda's Secret Food Drawer.
Pork Rinds.
No, Thank You.
(Normal Voice) Listen About What You Heard, I Didn't Mean-- We're Done For Tonight.
Are You Sure? I Guess E Reason Why I Was Putting Off Finding Another Maid Of Honor Was Because I Hoped That Nico Would Change Her Mind.
But Apparently She Hates Me.
She Doesn't Hate You.
Oh, Marc, Monkey Bite? But You're Wrong About Me Being Alone.
I Have Hundreds Of Backstabbing, Two-Faced, Superficial Friends That Are Pouring In From All Over The Globe To Be Part Of This Wedding.
Any Of Them Would Be Thrilled To Be My Maid Of Honor.
Wilhelmina Slater R Victoria Beckham, Please.
Yes, I'll Hold.
Oh, Marc, I Forgot To Ask.
Who Are You Bringing To The Wedding? I Get A Plus One? Well, We Wouldn't Want You To End Up Sad And Alone.
Vicki, Love, It's Willie.
How Is My Best Friend In The Whole Wide World? ?? ?? I Really Screwed Up.
(Sandra) Daniel, What Are You Up To? Come On.
(Daniel) Come On.
Down Here, Sandra.
Quick.
In Here.
There Oh, Daniel.
We Are Being So Bad.
Come On.
She's Green.
She's A Witch.
Girl Power.
Rah, Rah, Rah.
I Think We Get It.
I Just Simply Can't Be Seduced In A Room Full Of Nylon And Fleece.
All Right.
Well, That Is Betty's Coat.
I Mm.
You Really Should Give That Girl A Raise.
Uh, Sandra I Can't.
Well, Then Don't Give Her A Raise.
Everyone Gets So Touchy About Money.
No, No, No, No.
I Sandra, You're Beautiful.
I Just I Can't Seduce You To Get You To Buy Ads In Our Magazine.
I'm Not Letting You Seduce Me For My Ads.
I'm Letting You Seduce Me Ause You Got A Great Ass.
Really? Mm-Hmm.
Well, I Have Added Squats To My Workout Lately.
All Right, Putting The Sex Aside For A Minute, Oh.
What Do I Have To Do To Get Your Advertising? Well, Why Should I Move Over From "Glamour"? Well, Winthrop Jewelry's Revenue Has Dropped 15% In The Last Quarter Alone, Righ "Mode" Can Help You Get To The Future Clientele-- The 18 To 49s That You've Been Missing.
Yes, I Have Been Missing Those 18 To 49 Year Olds.
In The Last Year Alone, "Mode" Has Increed In That Demographic 12%.
Other Magazines Have Dropped.
"Mod Has Always Stayed In Mode.
Bet You're Proud Of That One, Huh? A Little.
Well, You Actually Made Some Good Points.
I'll Tell You What, Sugar, I'll Have My Ad Rep Call You In The Morning.
Maybe We Should, Uh, Go Out And Celebrate, Huh? You're A Smart Guy, Daniel, And That Tush Is Darling, But Frankly, Smart Guys Are A Turn-Off.
(Gulps) Should I Be Insulted? That Door's Gotta Be Around Here Somewhere.
(Gasps) Oh, My God.
We Can't Be Here.
They've Got Theater Cops.
Well, Come On.
Come On.
(Woman) Well, Are You Comi? What If They Find Us In Here? You Know What? Who Cares? This Is The First Time We've Been Alone All Night.
What Was That? I Don't Care.
Whoa.
What The Oh, My God.
It's Moving.
(Woman) What The Holy Crap.
Smile, Betty.
We're On Broadway.
Ay, Okay, We're Going.
I Can't Believe They Banned Us From "Wicked" For Life.
I Can't Believe Daniel Saw Us.
He Knows About Us.
We're Screwed.
Betty, Betty, Calm Down.
We'll Figure Ts All Out.
Let's Just Get Out Of Here, Okay? Uh, Wait--Wait, Um, I Forgot My Purse And My Coat.
Uh, Can You Just Grab A Cab And I'll Meet You? Yeah, Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Betty.
Daniel.
You Lied To Me.
Okay, Uh, I'm Dating Henry.
And Now You Can Call Me Crazy, And You Can Fire Him, And You Can Totally Manipulate My Life, But I Can't Keep Pretending Anymore.
You're Gonna Get Your Heart Broken.
It's My Heart.
What Does That Mean? You'reot Gonna Be Devastated When He Leaves You? What, You're Above That? You Know, The One Thing I Always Thought You H Was Good Judgment, But Right Now, Thi- I Don't Understand Why You're Being So Stupid.
Stupid.
Thank You.
Betty, I Got A Cab.
What's Wrong? Henry, I'm Sorry, But I Don't Think I Can Do This Uh Not Tonight.
You And Henry? Pregna Henry? Have You Two Even No.
Tonight Was Supposed To Be You Know What? It Doesn't Even Matter Anymore.
Wow, Betty.
I Know, And Please Just Don't Tell Me How Stupid I Am.
I Can't Ar To Hear That From You, Too.
Oh, No, No, No, No, No.
You're Stupid.
Hilda.
You Only Have Five Months Left With Henry, And You're Here Talking To Me.
You Know, If Someone Told Me I Could Have One More Minute With Santos, Do You Think I Would Turn That Down Because It Wld Hurt When It Was Over? I Guess Not.
Mnh-Mnh.
But W-What If-- What Are You Still Doing Here? There Is A Man Out There Who Loves You.
Go.
The Clock Is Ticking.
Uh Okay.
Yeah.
Okay, Thank You.
Thank You.
Thank You.
Mwah.
Thank You For Understanding.
Oh.
Okay, Okay.
Oh, But, Um, Maybe We Shouldn't Tell Dad.
Oh, Yeah, No.
I'm Romantic, Not Crazy.
Okay.
(Laughs) What? Grandpa And I Need To Talk To You In The Kitchen.
It's About Your Job.
I Had To Tell Him.
Ay.
Look.
I Don't Wanna Hear It From Either One Of You-- About The Job, About The Iform.
I Didn't Have A Choice.
It's The Only Job I Could Get.
(Both) Surprise! A Hair Dryer? We Pooled Our Money.
Justin Sold Some Playbills.
Yosold The Merman? Well, It's For Your New Salon.
"The Sweet Hair-After.
" Betty Came Up With The Name.
(Ignacio) We're Gonna Set You Up On The Outside Porch.
I Could Evenake My Famous Coffee Cake For Your Customers.
You Guys, You're Crazy.
I Couldn't Last At A Salon For A Day.
Think I Could Run My Own Business? You Didn't Last 'Cause You Have A Bimouth.
Chico! But That Doesn't Mean You Should Give Up Your Dreams.
We Just Think It's Time U Tried Being Your Own Boss, Okay? If It Doesn't Work Out, You Can Fire Yourself.
Oh, Papi.
Come Here, You.
Oh.