XIII: The Series s02e06 Episode Script
Gauntlet
2x06 - "Gauntlet" With a diplomatic status related to a position as major contractor to the US Government since the "Snow Strike" campaign in Georgia and Ukraine, Andrej Kalishkanov has been enjoying a free pass and rather uncommon behaviour and life-style for the last eighteen months.
His unique, controversial fondness for rare objects, live endangered species and call girls have made him the new favourite target of entertainment news.
In spite of several charges still pending for illegal arms selling and bribery, the controversial billionaire will throw a 24-hour party in his 16,000 square ft.
Virginia Mansion today, to celebrate his 47th birthday.
To make it more of a special moment, the provocative Oligarch has designed a one-of-a-kind invitation, as party guests will be required to inject themselves with a low-grade radioactive isotope to be admitted.
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning".
Avner, "father of the flame".
Right on cue, as always.
Oh, I see you brought my Jessica.
Thank you for coming my sweet.
I want to show you my new toy.
- Have you been crying sweet dove? - That smell.
My eyes are burning.
Your eyes your whole body is smoking hot.
Avner, did you know the Chinese had one of these back in the 10th Century? Yeah, they called it the fire throwing machine during the 10 Kingdoms period, cunning Chinese bastards.
Did you wake me up this early for a History lesson? No, my kitten.
I wanted to ask you a question.
And by the way, it's two in the afternoon.
Yeah, well? You know I'm trying to give you anything you need.
Everything you want before you even begin to want it.
- You know that, don't you? - What are you talking about? Did I not pleasure you as a lover should? Yeah.
Then, why did you take what is most precious to me? What do you mean? You know I have a low self-esteem; yet you stole my pride.
You stole my honour.
You have made me feel that I'm a bad lover.
- You have put shame on me.
- I I can explain.
There's nothing to explain.
He was consumed by the flames of love.
Literally! Avner did you know that blondes burn faster? I was a secret agent, betrayed by my own people.
Robbed of my face, my memories, my history.
Hidden in my past is a secret that threatens all humanity.
I search for answers with nothing to hold onto but the tattoo that has become my name.
I am Thirteen.
Okay, cut! Do it a few more times, faster! Yeah.
I know he's a lunatic.
He's Russian! He expects me to inject this God-knows-what radioactive crap into my bloodstream just to get into the party.
That's how crazy he is.
You know, I'm risking my life to get next to your Russian billionaire.
That's the whore you've made me become.
I'm going and he'll listen.
The good news is the dude is richer than the Emir of Qatar and he loves movies.
Sasha is positive.
I'll swear he can have dinner with Nick Cage, for what it's worth.
We'll talk when I get back, meantime check out the grosses, cause we're boffo baby in every country but France! All right.
What's this? Cop checking out the Aston.
Talk to me later.
She is a beauty, ain't she? max speed 183 MPH! Sick right? - Are you Barry Arthur Salters? - Depends.
Is there a problem? We've been informed of a special event and we have to check out every guest.
There may be drugs or illegal substances there.
Did you receive any kind of gift? No.
Yes, actually.
I don't know about a gift but I'm gonna ask you to take your hand out of your pocket very slowly, sir.
Whaaaaa whoa.
Cowboy! I just, do you think it's dangerous 'cause I, it's just a little just a little thingy.
A producer? THE MANSION Sorry, man.
I got more than fifty deliveries today, all sorts of stuff.
And you are not on my list.
Oh, wow.
That's so sad.
'Cause I'll tell you how this gonna go down.
I'll go talk to my boss.
Then my boss will talk to his boss, who will talk to your boss who will probably fire your ass.
Which is, by the time I'm back here tomorrow morning, I'll be talking the same old shit with your replacement.
How do you like that? What's inside? - Birthday gift.
- Open it.
It's one of those Terra Cotta Warriors.
An original, man.
Not a copy.
From the Chinese ambassador.
You want to call the embassy? - Just go through the garage.
- Good man.
And carefully.
It's fragile.
Yeah.
And don't leave it outside! It's a piece of art! Let's have a champagne bucket on each table We have eight place settings here and here.
Same on that side, but we'll put these two tables together.
THE CURIOSITY CABINET - Look at this piece of shit.
- Piece of art.
THE FESTIVAL Ladies.
The letter better be here.
I'm in.
Okay, here we go.
Hook me up.
The control box should be near the door.
You should be live.
You know I got your back.
Be quick and get out.
I can't wait to get rid of this dress.
I'll help you with that too.
Let's see if you were right.
Kalishkanov bought his letter in an auction in London as part of a collection of hoaxes.
Look around for anything like - Hitler's pickled head? - Yeah.
The letter was sold with Tesla's desk.
It should be here.
Moz.
I got it.
Just get this door open now! Oh, shit.
No no no no no - What? - We've got a big problem.
What's he doing here? Same thing we are, I guess.
Stop where you are! Where the hell do you think you're going? Barry Salters.
And you must be Andrej Kalishkanov.
Oh! Mr.
Salters, you can call me "AK"! - AK.
- It's the Hollywood guy! Come! - Sasha says I must talk with you.
- Oh, Sasha's a good man.
Yes! Sasha is a very good man.
Good man.
He will be here soon.
We will all have some fun together.
Where is he now? Upstairs with Kalishkanov.
We gotta get you out of there before they come back down.
There must be a safe button to open it from the inside.
I just need to bypass their security system.
- Barry.
May I call you Barry? - Sure.
I wouldn't dream of having my birthday without Sasha here.
Oh, of course.
I love your suit.
Emporio Armani.
"Collezione"? - Yeah.
- Very elegant.
- Thank you.
- I love elegance.
Especially in a man.
But women, I like them vulgar, as long as they're sexy and young.
You know what I mean.
- I yes! - Or pigs in bed! So are you a big shot Hollywood producer, Huh? Well, I don't know about the big shot part.
Don't be modest.
Modesty is for losers.
I want to make a movie, Barry.
With you.
I front the money, you put together a kick ass team.
Michael Bay! Tom Cruise! Megan Fox! Her ass on a plate.
They, they may have busy schedules.
I buy them! Come on! Let's go, bitch! Wow! Glenfinnian single malt.
Private collection, 1953.
The year Stalin died.
$36,000 a bottle.
- What? No vodka? - Potato juice?! I'd rather drink your piss.
Na zdarovie.
Cheers, mate.
So? Yeah, it's not bad.
I tend to favour the Irish malts.
Just barely good enough to put in my morning coffee.
Here, you can get out, now.
No one in sight.
Magic.
Just mix into the crowd, find some rich old fart to drive you out as planned.
Let's talk movies Barry.
What time did you say? This afternoon, with all the gifts and shit.
Some black dude.
Said it was very rare.
I don't know who broke it, Sir, I I swear.
- A bunny.
- Wh-what? We are looking for a bunny rabbit.
It's an Easter egg.
You looking for a partner? I don't really know what I'm doing here.
Well, I would truly like to help you find out.
I'm Avner Reed, Mr.
Kalishkanov's associate.
You're skin is of the most delicate porcelain.
It's like, like you're made of China.
And uh, who did you say you came with? - Oh.
I'm alone.
- I find that hard to believe.
Look, you got a lot more experience than me, you lead a richer life.
You're a successful businessman, Mr.
Kalishkanov.
I think we could make a movie about you.
I like you Barry, but they already made one.
Nicolas Cage played me.
He's my favourite actor.
I have a better idea for a great movie.
- Oh yeah? About what? - The magic of weapons! Weapons are truly the corner stone of civilization.
They are the only human invention that can both destroy us and save us.
They are the essence of man.
Without them, there is no culture or art or history or democracy.
That's a unique perspective.
Yes! I am not interested in what is common or mediocre.
Maybe we can help each other out.
Sasha told me that you have your own project.
Yes.
Yes.
Which is close to yours.
It's about another great entrepreneur of Eastern origin, like yourself.
Who also helped with the development of modern warfare.
Oh, yes? And who would that be? Oppenheimer? - Nikola Tesla.
- Huh! Tesla? Why would I be interested in a project about Tesla? Well, I guess as a collector, I believe you own some of his most personal and valuable documents.
I collect a lot of things.
I'm interested in all kinds of valuables.
And here are some of my most precious wonders.
Hello Vanessa, Heidi, Sophie, Christa and Melanie.
No.
No.
Melanie and Christa.
Am I right? Who cares, it's my birthday.
Get naked! Your friends are all really beautiful and I hate to be rude, but You are rude! Kidding! Perhaps, you prefer boys? Oh, no no, no thank you.
There's no shame.
No judgment.
I know about the Gay Mafia.
I can get you a boy or two for your pleasure.
No, no, no really it's okay.
- Are you sure? - Yes, yes.
Okay, I have other obligations to take care of.
You can drink all the Scottish malt you like.
We'll talk later.
Girls, I need all of you.
Russian bear.
Rawr.
Betty, Betty you there? You're not taking that.
Don't you know it's wrong to steal, little bunny? So you are interested in my collection of rare objects? It's true; I like to collect things that catch my eye.
I love opulence! Ah! Look.
That's my monkey paw! I bought this in 1984.
It's the real deal.
It is cursed! It will grant you three wishes.
Do you know the story? Man wishes for money.
Same day, his son dies he collects the insurance.
He is rich.
You get it? Like, wishing for sex and next thing you know, you're being raped! Be careful what you wish for, little girl.
You might get it.
In my business, you make a lot of enemies.
It's what you call an occupational hazard.
I just wish that you would tell me why you would do something so stupid as to steal from me.
You just made a wish.
AK.
47, McLeish, Lord of war.
Lord of Boss said you wait here.
Oh, yeah I really need to use the bathroom.
So, you're not going to tell me why suddenly everyone is so interested in this damn letter? Okay.
I had this special made.
So I know what belongs to me.
As you'll soon learn everything in this house is mine, mine, mine.
Since you are so fond of my rare collection, I am going to make you part of it.
Oh, so beautiful.
What you wanna do with her? I want to know what is going on with this letter.
Are you sure about the Chinese buyer? I have done business with XU before.
If they want it so bad, then I'm not gonna sit on my ass and wait.
They can have the damn letter.
What time is the man coming? - 9 A.
M.
- Have fun with her.
Wow! Hey buddy.
I hear Kalishkanov's got some super cool shit in the basement.
Is that true? You're pretty.
Even with your face scarred like that, I'd Hello mate.
Sorry.
Wrong door! And what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Or is it you? I told you to lay low.
Did you find the letter? That letter is mine.
I want to know why my brother was killed.
- You have it? - That bastard took it back from me.
You don't seem to be able to hold on to those letters, huh? - Does it hurt bad? - Why do you care? Untie me! Yeah, I can't do that.
Not now.
By now, Kalishkanov knows we have the letter, I need it.
It's the last chance Ihave of finding my double.
Again with that? Look, he stole the letter your brother gave you and Vargas sold the other one to some Chinese businessman.
There were three.
That means Kalishkanov has the last one.
I can't let it disappear.
Look what he did to me! If you leave me now they're gonna kill me.
We can do it together! Yeah I'm sorry Betty.
It's just I will come back.
I swear.
Today is my forty-seventh birthday and I want everyone to have fun.
Is anybody a little chilly? Ah ha ha! Whooo! Warm yourselves in my glow, yeeees! Don't be cheap! Throw it all in! Good! Hey! Clean this shit now! And when not, I want you to lick it! Yes! You hear me? Do you hear me?! I don't think, he heard me! I'm kidding! Yes! Yes! Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry for making you wait this long.
But these girls they are killing me.
I can't blame you.
Although, I think you can take care of yourself well enough.
Oh! No! These two babies, they are different! Is it ? Loaded, yes.
All my weapons are loaded.
Have you seen the guy? I left him outside the door.
- So people wouldn't disturb you.
- Nope.
You know, you know I had my name changed? So it would fit.
Damn lawyers said they had to tweak a little so we wouldn't get sued.
No matter, I'm 47 today, and closer to my true love then ever before.
Well, both of my true loves.
Do you mind just, moving it that way? - Oh, yes, sorry.
- Thanks.
I'm so rude! I, I didn't make the introductions.
Barry, this is my little sister, Sasha.
I I guess I owe you an explanation.
I like you, Barry.
Or whoever you are.
You're super cool .
You know when I was a young boy in the Siberian gulag, I never thought I would grow this old, or get this rich! But I'm a liar myself.
I lie all the time.
I love to lie.
Like this radiation shit.
It's capsium.
Nothing more.
I just thought it'd be funny to scare all the guests.
It's all fake.
What do you intend to do, now? What do you think I should do with him? He's much sexier than the real guy.
You could give him to me.
No.
It's my birthday.
Not yours.
So.
You can have him, then.
Too bad.
You look like you make a great drinking partner.
- You got me there.
- Now, why don't you give me the gun you must have hidden in your belt.
Thank you.
Like I said, I really like you.
And today is my birthday so I feel good.
I'm gonna make you an offer.
You tell me who you are and I might let you live.
That, that seems fair.
But I'm not sure I can trust you AK, no offense but, I was thinking, how about we play a little game? Even out my chances.
You a gambling man, AK? THE BET I must warn you.
No one can drink me under the table! - Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
I knew you were a stand-up guy.
Like myself we are dying breed, we both have values.
You value life, I value life.
Cut the crap philosophy, let's get to the point.
That is the point.
I value life, but life should be earned.
That's why you are still alive.
I thought it was because you wanted to know why I'm here.
We'll get to that.
First let's talk about the girl.
Do you know her? - No.
Not exactly.
- Then, you don't care if I kill her, uh? - Don't don't do that.
- Do you like her? Not exactly.
But you can't go around killing people right? - You just can't.
- How about we have some fun! I make you choose: your life or her life.
- You know, I like you too, Andrej.
- Thank you.
Yeah, most people lie to me.
But you, it's just straightforward honesty.
You are a straightforward man and I think we should drink to that.
I'm impressed, Barry.
But you can't beat me! It's true, you're insane.
I'm bored.
I'm so bored.
Are you not bored? People with memory get bored.
I have no memory, at least not much.
- That would be bliss.
- No, no not really.
Sometimes, I don't even know who I am anymore.
I wanna know.
Why you are so interested in this letter? So important that you, I mean it is a hoax.
A forgery.
And the Chinese are willing to give me 10 million dollars.
- I like you.
- You can't beat me.
You know why? Cause I am, Andrej Kalish You see? I win.
Where's your guard, little bunny? All alone are we? All the better.
Stop playing it tough, little bunny.
I don't want to harm you.
I'm the nice one.
- Go to hell.
- Eventually eventually.
But as Andrej told you, you're part of his collection, now.
And as associates, we share everything.
Share this! I think your boss just fainted.
I'm gonna untie you, now.
Be good.
You little French bitch! By the time I'm finished with you, you're gonna be I'm gonna skin you like a bunny rabbit.
I wish you would die.
- What happened? - He tried to kill me.
Let's go.
I have the letter.
Have you been drinking? - You are drunk! - Oh don't judge me.
Let's go! Happy birthday! - Sorry.
- I thought you gave up killing? Look, é can't go out the front gate.
'Cause they're gonna, guards are gonna be waiting for us.
- You got a phone? - No.
But he probably does.
- Moz.
It's me.
- Sorry, just party on, okay? THE HANGOVER - What the hell happened? - The party's over boss.
Boss, the Chinese buyer is here.
You find them.
The intruders.
You find them and you kill them.
And you get me back my letter or I will kill you.
And where is Avner? Where the hell is Avner?! I am going to give them their ten million dollars worth those Chinese bastards.
The officals already said that the catastrophic series of tornadoes could end of cost ten times Catrina, and terms of human and economy loss.
President Carrington said, quote: "As the greatest nation in the world" Can I borrow some clothes? President elect Harriet Traymore also reacted, saying: "We must not think of the tornadoes as disasters but rather a chance to clean our slate and start from scratch.
" "If God wanted to tell us something, "it's that nothing is ours.
We must remain humble and strong.
- Okay let's go.
- Can you do it? there has never been as massive an amount of electrical discharge in our troposphere - Give me the letter! - I don't think so.
and a very private ceremony will be held in honor and memory of Secretary of State Lauren Jones who died this morning after struggling for many days between life and death.
We remind you that she suffered fatal wounds while water skiing Allez, let's go.
Where is he? Hello, my friend.
Welcome to my humble abode.
Mr.
Kalishkanov, there you are! I must admit you have balls the size of watermelons.
But they are squishy inside like your brains.
That's funny.
I guess we need to talk.
You can get me out of here? Please? Help me! Betty.
Oh, my God, I'm glad you're okay, come on, come with me.
- What? - Thank God you're all right.
Come on.
Hey! I'll tell you what's going on.
That other guy out there, he's a lunatic.
My friend here explained everything to me.
He stole his face to steal my letter.
And you are working with him.
- I don't understand.
- Do you believe me now? You see? I'm for real.
That other guy's the psycho.
He killed my brother? No, Betty.
He killed your brother.
I have your letter.
Let her go and I'll give it to you.
No.
You give it to me! I sell it to him! So get the hell out of your manhole, give me my letter, so I can get my money.
Because it's my birthday! You know what, Kalishkanov? I've had enough of you and your birthday! - So there are two of you.
- Not for long.
Look, I just need the letter, bro.
You give it to me and I swear you'll never hear from me ever again.
I would have enjoyed killing you though.
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me I hate to interrupt, but I haven't even got cake.
Now, you drop the guns, you give me the letter and she goes free.
Though frankly, I don't know what you find so attractive about her.
Bite me.
Attaboy.
Jesus.
Take care of her.
Go on, just do it, just finish it! You just don't get it, do you? You have no idea what's going on.
Let me just say it's all about the money.
It's always all about the money, bro.
Nothing more.
And having a little fun while we're at it.
- You okay? - Yeah.
You okay?
His unique, controversial fondness for rare objects, live endangered species and call girls have made him the new favourite target of entertainment news.
In spite of several charges still pending for illegal arms selling and bribery, the controversial billionaire will throw a 24-hour party in his 16,000 square ft.
Virginia Mansion today, to celebrate his 47th birthday.
To make it more of a special moment, the provocative Oligarch has designed a one-of-a-kind invitation, as party guests will be required to inject themselves with a low-grade radioactive isotope to be admitted.
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning".
Avner, "father of the flame".
Right on cue, as always.
Oh, I see you brought my Jessica.
Thank you for coming my sweet.
I want to show you my new toy.
- Have you been crying sweet dove? - That smell.
My eyes are burning.
Your eyes your whole body is smoking hot.
Avner, did you know the Chinese had one of these back in the 10th Century? Yeah, they called it the fire throwing machine during the 10 Kingdoms period, cunning Chinese bastards.
Did you wake me up this early for a History lesson? No, my kitten.
I wanted to ask you a question.
And by the way, it's two in the afternoon.
Yeah, well? You know I'm trying to give you anything you need.
Everything you want before you even begin to want it.
- You know that, don't you? - What are you talking about? Did I not pleasure you as a lover should? Yeah.
Then, why did you take what is most precious to me? What do you mean? You know I have a low self-esteem; yet you stole my pride.
You stole my honour.
You have made me feel that I'm a bad lover.
- You have put shame on me.
- I I can explain.
There's nothing to explain.
He was consumed by the flames of love.
Literally! Avner did you know that blondes burn faster? I was a secret agent, betrayed by my own people.
Robbed of my face, my memories, my history.
Hidden in my past is a secret that threatens all humanity.
I search for answers with nothing to hold onto but the tattoo that has become my name.
I am Thirteen.
Okay, cut! Do it a few more times, faster! Yeah.
I know he's a lunatic.
He's Russian! He expects me to inject this God-knows-what radioactive crap into my bloodstream just to get into the party.
That's how crazy he is.
You know, I'm risking my life to get next to your Russian billionaire.
That's the whore you've made me become.
I'm going and he'll listen.
The good news is the dude is richer than the Emir of Qatar and he loves movies.
Sasha is positive.
I'll swear he can have dinner with Nick Cage, for what it's worth.
We'll talk when I get back, meantime check out the grosses, cause we're boffo baby in every country but France! All right.
What's this? Cop checking out the Aston.
Talk to me later.
She is a beauty, ain't she? max speed 183 MPH! Sick right? - Are you Barry Arthur Salters? - Depends.
Is there a problem? We've been informed of a special event and we have to check out every guest.
There may be drugs or illegal substances there.
Did you receive any kind of gift? No.
Yes, actually.
I don't know about a gift but I'm gonna ask you to take your hand out of your pocket very slowly, sir.
Whaaaaa whoa.
Cowboy! I just, do you think it's dangerous 'cause I, it's just a little just a little thingy.
A producer? THE MANSION Sorry, man.
I got more than fifty deliveries today, all sorts of stuff.
And you are not on my list.
Oh, wow.
That's so sad.
'Cause I'll tell you how this gonna go down.
I'll go talk to my boss.
Then my boss will talk to his boss, who will talk to your boss who will probably fire your ass.
Which is, by the time I'm back here tomorrow morning, I'll be talking the same old shit with your replacement.
How do you like that? What's inside? - Birthday gift.
- Open it.
It's one of those Terra Cotta Warriors.
An original, man.
Not a copy.
From the Chinese ambassador.
You want to call the embassy? - Just go through the garage.
- Good man.
And carefully.
It's fragile.
Yeah.
And don't leave it outside! It's a piece of art! Let's have a champagne bucket on each table We have eight place settings here and here.
Same on that side, but we'll put these two tables together.
THE CURIOSITY CABINET - Look at this piece of shit.
- Piece of art.
THE FESTIVAL Ladies.
The letter better be here.
I'm in.
Okay, here we go.
Hook me up.
The control box should be near the door.
You should be live.
You know I got your back.
Be quick and get out.
I can't wait to get rid of this dress.
I'll help you with that too.
Let's see if you were right.
Kalishkanov bought his letter in an auction in London as part of a collection of hoaxes.
Look around for anything like - Hitler's pickled head? - Yeah.
The letter was sold with Tesla's desk.
It should be here.
Moz.
I got it.
Just get this door open now! Oh, shit.
No no no no no - What? - We've got a big problem.
What's he doing here? Same thing we are, I guess.
Stop where you are! Where the hell do you think you're going? Barry Salters.
And you must be Andrej Kalishkanov.
Oh! Mr.
Salters, you can call me "AK"! - AK.
- It's the Hollywood guy! Come! - Sasha says I must talk with you.
- Oh, Sasha's a good man.
Yes! Sasha is a very good man.
Good man.
He will be here soon.
We will all have some fun together.
Where is he now? Upstairs with Kalishkanov.
We gotta get you out of there before they come back down.
There must be a safe button to open it from the inside.
I just need to bypass their security system.
- Barry.
May I call you Barry? - Sure.
I wouldn't dream of having my birthday without Sasha here.
Oh, of course.
I love your suit.
Emporio Armani.
"Collezione"? - Yeah.
- Very elegant.
- Thank you.
- I love elegance.
Especially in a man.
But women, I like them vulgar, as long as they're sexy and young.
You know what I mean.
- I yes! - Or pigs in bed! So are you a big shot Hollywood producer, Huh? Well, I don't know about the big shot part.
Don't be modest.
Modesty is for losers.
I want to make a movie, Barry.
With you.
I front the money, you put together a kick ass team.
Michael Bay! Tom Cruise! Megan Fox! Her ass on a plate.
They, they may have busy schedules.
I buy them! Come on! Let's go, bitch! Wow! Glenfinnian single malt.
Private collection, 1953.
The year Stalin died.
$36,000 a bottle.
- What? No vodka? - Potato juice?! I'd rather drink your piss.
Na zdarovie.
Cheers, mate.
So? Yeah, it's not bad.
I tend to favour the Irish malts.
Just barely good enough to put in my morning coffee.
Here, you can get out, now.
No one in sight.
Magic.
Just mix into the crowd, find some rich old fart to drive you out as planned.
Let's talk movies Barry.
What time did you say? This afternoon, with all the gifts and shit.
Some black dude.
Said it was very rare.
I don't know who broke it, Sir, I I swear.
- A bunny.
- Wh-what? We are looking for a bunny rabbit.
It's an Easter egg.
You looking for a partner? I don't really know what I'm doing here.
Well, I would truly like to help you find out.
I'm Avner Reed, Mr.
Kalishkanov's associate.
You're skin is of the most delicate porcelain.
It's like, like you're made of China.
And uh, who did you say you came with? - Oh.
I'm alone.
- I find that hard to believe.
Look, you got a lot more experience than me, you lead a richer life.
You're a successful businessman, Mr.
Kalishkanov.
I think we could make a movie about you.
I like you Barry, but they already made one.
Nicolas Cage played me.
He's my favourite actor.
I have a better idea for a great movie.
- Oh yeah? About what? - The magic of weapons! Weapons are truly the corner stone of civilization.
They are the only human invention that can both destroy us and save us.
They are the essence of man.
Without them, there is no culture or art or history or democracy.
That's a unique perspective.
Yes! I am not interested in what is common or mediocre.
Maybe we can help each other out.
Sasha told me that you have your own project.
Yes.
Yes.
Which is close to yours.
It's about another great entrepreneur of Eastern origin, like yourself.
Who also helped with the development of modern warfare.
Oh, yes? And who would that be? Oppenheimer? - Nikola Tesla.
- Huh! Tesla? Why would I be interested in a project about Tesla? Well, I guess as a collector, I believe you own some of his most personal and valuable documents.
I collect a lot of things.
I'm interested in all kinds of valuables.
And here are some of my most precious wonders.
Hello Vanessa, Heidi, Sophie, Christa and Melanie.
No.
No.
Melanie and Christa.
Am I right? Who cares, it's my birthday.
Get naked! Your friends are all really beautiful and I hate to be rude, but You are rude! Kidding! Perhaps, you prefer boys? Oh, no no, no thank you.
There's no shame.
No judgment.
I know about the Gay Mafia.
I can get you a boy or two for your pleasure.
No, no, no really it's okay.
- Are you sure? - Yes, yes.
Okay, I have other obligations to take care of.
You can drink all the Scottish malt you like.
We'll talk later.
Girls, I need all of you.
Russian bear.
Rawr.
Betty, Betty you there? You're not taking that.
Don't you know it's wrong to steal, little bunny? So you are interested in my collection of rare objects? It's true; I like to collect things that catch my eye.
I love opulence! Ah! Look.
That's my monkey paw! I bought this in 1984.
It's the real deal.
It is cursed! It will grant you three wishes.
Do you know the story? Man wishes for money.
Same day, his son dies he collects the insurance.
He is rich.
You get it? Like, wishing for sex and next thing you know, you're being raped! Be careful what you wish for, little girl.
You might get it.
In my business, you make a lot of enemies.
It's what you call an occupational hazard.
I just wish that you would tell me why you would do something so stupid as to steal from me.
You just made a wish.
AK.
47, McLeish, Lord of war.
Lord of Boss said you wait here.
Oh, yeah I really need to use the bathroom.
So, you're not going to tell me why suddenly everyone is so interested in this damn letter? Okay.
I had this special made.
So I know what belongs to me.
As you'll soon learn everything in this house is mine, mine, mine.
Since you are so fond of my rare collection, I am going to make you part of it.
Oh, so beautiful.
What you wanna do with her? I want to know what is going on with this letter.
Are you sure about the Chinese buyer? I have done business with XU before.
If they want it so bad, then I'm not gonna sit on my ass and wait.
They can have the damn letter.
What time is the man coming? - 9 A.
M.
- Have fun with her.
Wow! Hey buddy.
I hear Kalishkanov's got some super cool shit in the basement.
Is that true? You're pretty.
Even with your face scarred like that, I'd Hello mate.
Sorry.
Wrong door! And what are you doing here? What are you doing here? Or is it you? I told you to lay low.
Did you find the letter? That letter is mine.
I want to know why my brother was killed.
- You have it? - That bastard took it back from me.
You don't seem to be able to hold on to those letters, huh? - Does it hurt bad? - Why do you care? Untie me! Yeah, I can't do that.
Not now.
By now, Kalishkanov knows we have the letter, I need it.
It's the last chance Ihave of finding my double.
Again with that? Look, he stole the letter your brother gave you and Vargas sold the other one to some Chinese businessman.
There were three.
That means Kalishkanov has the last one.
I can't let it disappear.
Look what he did to me! If you leave me now they're gonna kill me.
We can do it together! Yeah I'm sorry Betty.
It's just I will come back.
I swear.
Today is my forty-seventh birthday and I want everyone to have fun.
Is anybody a little chilly? Ah ha ha! Whooo! Warm yourselves in my glow, yeeees! Don't be cheap! Throw it all in! Good! Hey! Clean this shit now! And when not, I want you to lick it! Yes! You hear me? Do you hear me?! I don't think, he heard me! I'm kidding! Yes! Yes! Oh, my friend, I'm so sorry for making you wait this long.
But these girls they are killing me.
I can't blame you.
Although, I think you can take care of yourself well enough.
Oh! No! These two babies, they are different! Is it ? Loaded, yes.
All my weapons are loaded.
Have you seen the guy? I left him outside the door.
- So people wouldn't disturb you.
- Nope.
You know, you know I had my name changed? So it would fit.
Damn lawyers said they had to tweak a little so we wouldn't get sued.
No matter, I'm 47 today, and closer to my true love then ever before.
Well, both of my true loves.
Do you mind just, moving it that way? - Oh, yes, sorry.
- Thanks.
I'm so rude! I, I didn't make the introductions.
Barry, this is my little sister, Sasha.
I I guess I owe you an explanation.
I like you, Barry.
Or whoever you are.
You're super cool .
You know when I was a young boy in the Siberian gulag, I never thought I would grow this old, or get this rich! But I'm a liar myself.
I lie all the time.
I love to lie.
Like this radiation shit.
It's capsium.
Nothing more.
I just thought it'd be funny to scare all the guests.
It's all fake.
What do you intend to do, now? What do you think I should do with him? He's much sexier than the real guy.
You could give him to me.
No.
It's my birthday.
Not yours.
So.
You can have him, then.
Too bad.
You look like you make a great drinking partner.
- You got me there.
- Now, why don't you give me the gun you must have hidden in your belt.
Thank you.
Like I said, I really like you.
And today is my birthday so I feel good.
I'm gonna make you an offer.
You tell me who you are and I might let you live.
That, that seems fair.
But I'm not sure I can trust you AK, no offense but, I was thinking, how about we play a little game? Even out my chances.
You a gambling man, AK? THE BET I must warn you.
No one can drink me under the table! - Happy birthday.
- Thank you.
I knew you were a stand-up guy.
Like myself we are dying breed, we both have values.
You value life, I value life.
Cut the crap philosophy, let's get to the point.
That is the point.
I value life, but life should be earned.
That's why you are still alive.
I thought it was because you wanted to know why I'm here.
We'll get to that.
First let's talk about the girl.
Do you know her? - No.
Not exactly.
- Then, you don't care if I kill her, uh? - Don't don't do that.
- Do you like her? Not exactly.
But you can't go around killing people right? - You just can't.
- How about we have some fun! I make you choose: your life or her life.
- You know, I like you too, Andrej.
- Thank you.
Yeah, most people lie to me.
But you, it's just straightforward honesty.
You are a straightforward man and I think we should drink to that.
I'm impressed, Barry.
But you can't beat me! It's true, you're insane.
I'm bored.
I'm so bored.
Are you not bored? People with memory get bored.
I have no memory, at least not much.
- That would be bliss.
- No, no not really.
Sometimes, I don't even know who I am anymore.
I wanna know.
Why you are so interested in this letter? So important that you, I mean it is a hoax.
A forgery.
And the Chinese are willing to give me 10 million dollars.
- I like you.
- You can't beat me.
You know why? Cause I am, Andrej Kalish You see? I win.
Where's your guard, little bunny? All alone are we? All the better.
Stop playing it tough, little bunny.
I don't want to harm you.
I'm the nice one.
- Go to hell.
- Eventually eventually.
But as Andrej told you, you're part of his collection, now.
And as associates, we share everything.
Share this! I think your boss just fainted.
I'm gonna untie you, now.
Be good.
You little French bitch! By the time I'm finished with you, you're gonna be I'm gonna skin you like a bunny rabbit.
I wish you would die.
- What happened? - He tried to kill me.
Let's go.
I have the letter.
Have you been drinking? - You are drunk! - Oh don't judge me.
Let's go! Happy birthday! - Sorry.
- I thought you gave up killing? Look, é can't go out the front gate.
'Cause they're gonna, guards are gonna be waiting for us.
- You got a phone? - No.
But he probably does.
- Moz.
It's me.
- Sorry, just party on, okay? THE HANGOVER - What the hell happened? - The party's over boss.
Boss, the Chinese buyer is here.
You find them.
The intruders.
You find them and you kill them.
And you get me back my letter or I will kill you.
And where is Avner? Where the hell is Avner?! I am going to give them their ten million dollars worth those Chinese bastards.
The officals already said that the catastrophic series of tornadoes could end of cost ten times Catrina, and terms of human and economy loss.
President Carrington said, quote: "As the greatest nation in the world" Can I borrow some clothes? President elect Harriet Traymore also reacted, saying: "We must not think of the tornadoes as disasters but rather a chance to clean our slate and start from scratch.
" "If God wanted to tell us something, "it's that nothing is ours.
We must remain humble and strong.
- Okay let's go.
- Can you do it? there has never been as massive an amount of electrical discharge in our troposphere - Give me the letter! - I don't think so.
and a very private ceremony will be held in honor and memory of Secretary of State Lauren Jones who died this morning after struggling for many days between life and death.
We remind you that she suffered fatal wounds while water skiing Allez, let's go.
Where is he? Hello, my friend.
Welcome to my humble abode.
Mr.
Kalishkanov, there you are! I must admit you have balls the size of watermelons.
But they are squishy inside like your brains.
That's funny.
I guess we need to talk.
You can get me out of here? Please? Help me! Betty.
Oh, my God, I'm glad you're okay, come on, come with me.
- What? - Thank God you're all right.
Come on.
Hey! I'll tell you what's going on.
That other guy out there, he's a lunatic.
My friend here explained everything to me.
He stole his face to steal my letter.
And you are working with him.
- I don't understand.
- Do you believe me now? You see? I'm for real.
That other guy's the psycho.
He killed my brother? No, Betty.
He killed your brother.
I have your letter.
Let her go and I'll give it to you.
No.
You give it to me! I sell it to him! So get the hell out of your manhole, give me my letter, so I can get my money.
Because it's my birthday! You know what, Kalishkanov? I've had enough of you and your birthday! - So there are two of you.
- Not for long.
Look, I just need the letter, bro.
You give it to me and I swear you'll never hear from me ever again.
I would have enjoyed killing you though.
Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me I hate to interrupt, but I haven't even got cake.
Now, you drop the guns, you give me the letter and she goes free.
Though frankly, I don't know what you find so attractive about her.
Bite me.
Attaboy.
Jesus.
Take care of her.
Go on, just do it, just finish it! You just don't get it, do you? You have no idea what's going on.
Let me just say it's all about the money.
It's always all about the money, bro.
Nothing more.
And having a little fun while we're at it.
- You okay? - Yeah.
You okay?