Adam Ruins Everything (2015) s02e07 Episode Script
Adam Ruins College
1 ("POMP AND CIRCUMSTANCE" PLAYING) Cole, this campus, it's beautiful! Yeah, grass, bricks, nerds, tight, tight, tight, let's go.
You need to take this seriously.
How do you expect to make a living without a college degree? Come on, Ma, you know I'm full of "Shark Tank" caliber ideas.
A pipe that lights itself.
Google Glasses, but they're sunglasses.
A period tracking app but for men.
Honey, I have always said you will make an incredible entrepreneur.
I prefer chillventor.
But first you need a degree.
Now, wait here while I get a map.
Fam, none of the greatest minds got a degree.
Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg.
Lil Yachty, they all dropped out.
Don't need to go to college.
So, on your right, you'll see a dorm, unfortunately named after a former slaveholder.
And on your left, you'll see someone who is totally wrong about college.
Hi, Cole.
I'm here to set you straight.
What, are you recruiting for an acapella group? Oh, no, I wish I was that cool.
I'm Adam Conover, and this is "Adam Ruins Everything.
" You're the nerd from the YouTube ads they play before fail compilations.
Are you gonna ruin college? That's sick! I bet you're gonna break down why college is a waste of time.
And everyone should drop out and and get rich.
My dude! I hate to turn down a bro hug, Cole, but I'm gonna disappoint you.
In the 21st century, if you wanna earn a decent living, you pretty much have to go to college.
What? You sound like a parent.
I thought you were cool! Oh, no, I am definitely not that.
And it's the truth.
The truth isn't always cool.
Whatever.
I'm gonna be like Bill Gates.
He dropped out of college and made bazillions.
Ah, yes, the famous Bill Gates myth.
Everyone uses him as an example of why no one needs to go to college, as though Bill were just some everyman who had one great idea.
Wow, look at all these windows.
I've got an idea.
Microsoft Word.
Money, money (LAUGHING) Right, that's exactly what I wanna do with my Micro Cooler.
It's a microwave that cools things.
Okay, you know that's called a freezer, right? And secondly, the only reason Bill Gates was able to succeed without a college degree is that he was a freakishly hard-working genius who had advantages almost no one else does.
Before Gates even went to college, his parents enrolled him in an expensive private high school that just happened to have a state-of-the-art computer no other kid would have access to.
Whoa, he's, like "Whiplash" except his "Whiplash" is computers.
Before he dropped out, Gates already had thousands of hours of programming experience and was already an expert.
Welcome to Programming 101.
For our first assignment Did it already, plus the next ten.
Do I pass? And before he left Harvard, Gates and his partner had already founded Microsoft and made the first software that ran on personal computers.
So, for him, dropping out wasn't that really much of a risk.
And I never even officially dropped out.
If I failed, I could've always gone back to my Ivy League education on my parent's dime.
The fact is Bill Gates's dropout story just isn't one that most people can emulate.
Because almost no one is that accomplished, gifted and just plain lucky.
Are you? Well in my case, I did get a bunch of kids in my school to start saying the word "select.
" You know, like, "Those shoes are select!" Or, "That party had me feeling select!" So, in that way, I'm kind of like Bill Gates.
Whatever, dude.
What about all the other awesome dropouts, like, Mark Zuckerberg or Carmelo Anthony and Or Jeffrey Dahmer? I dropped out of college and I'm doing okay.
I eat well every night.
Oh, darn.
When you focus only on the famous success stories, but ignore the lesser known failures, you're committing a logical error known as survivor bias.
For every tech billionaire dropout the media obsesses over, there are countless less fortunate folks whose stories you never hear.
But if you did, they might sound something like this.
Yeah, dude, I thought I was gonna be Zuckerberg, too.
I was wrong.
College dropouts are 71% more likely to be unemployed.
No You guys are just lazy.
I'm driven, I know I'd get a job.
Yeah, maybe, but you're not gonna get rich.
College grads make more than high school grads at every point of their careers.
What? Why are you guys even recruiting? Something to do, I guess.
Those numbers are crazy.
But my dad doesn't have a degree.
He did fine.
So what changed? Our economy.
Over the past few decades, getting a middle class job without a college degree has become way more difficult.
Since 1985, on average, the US has lost over 300,000 manufacturing jobs per year.
Whoa, I think that's more than, like, Steve Aoki's Instagram followers.
And at the same time, we've gained jobs in skilled fields.
In the last 20 years, software jobs have gone up by over 500%.
And in the past decade, Internet jobs have increased by 600%.
And those jobs require a college education.
In the six years since the great recession, less than one percent of jobs created have gone to those with a high school diploma or less.
Whoa, that's it? Yeah.
That's why even Bill Gates himself says more Americans need to go to college.
Really? Bill Gates said that? Yup, the truth is a college education is a virtual necessity to compete in today's economy.
That's why it's such a shame that so many people can't afford one.
Oh, I never thought I'd say this but my mom was right! If I ever wanna be rich, I need to go to college.
What else was she right about? Maybe Celine Dion is good! Is that a kind of mustard? But if I'm going to college, it's gotta be the best college.
Hey, you! Is this place select or not?! I know, I'll get one of those magazines that ranks colleges.
That's tell me which is icy and which is dicey.
(LAUGHING) Uh, those rankings are pretty arbitrary.
Let me tell you about it! (COLE'S MOM) Cole?! Cole?! Where'd you go? Cole! Oh, perfect, "US News and World Report.
" They rank every school in the things that matter most.
Smartness, how many books they got.
Which school's colors match my dopest Flyknits.
(ADAM) No, they don't.
"US News and World Report's" ranking may be popular.
But they've rewarded schools that lie, cheat and manipulate the system.
Oh! Ahh! But I thought it was created by scientists or whatever.
Nope, in fact when "US News" created these rankings in 1983, they were basically a popularity contest.
They would just ask college presidents what they thought of each other's schools.
Get this, Harvard told me that Yale told them that they heard Princeton say Brown's MBA program is super basic.
Oh, I love gossip.
But this opened them up to criticism.
You're being so rude.
Princeton doesn't even know me.
They're haters, and you're a hater! Unfriend.
No, don't unfriend me.
I can change! And change they did.
Starting in 1988, "US News" reworked their ranking system into a complicated formula.
(COLE) Numbers, percentage signs.
Looks like some legit science.
Uh, it's not.
We weight these categories however we want.
It's subjective.
Check it out.
This year, alumni giving is gonna be 69 percent.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, that's too silly even for me.
So, this pseudo scientific system became incredibly powerful.
Now when a school slips in the rankings, it can affect the number of applications they receive, their research funding, even the all-important alumni donations.
We dropped two places?! I'm taking my check and my name back.
Enjoy your lame bookstore, failures! Because of this, schools are under intense pressure to keep their ranking up.
And that's good, right? It's a free market.
It forces schools to be better.
Nope, it forces them to seem better.
And for some schools, that even means they'll lie.
At Claremont McKenna, a senior officer lied about our SA scores for six years.
At Clemson, we gave other schools low ratings to make ourselves look better.
At lona College, we lied about multiple categories on the survey for nine years.
(LAUGHING) And it worked.
If they hadn't lied, Iona would've been 20 spots lower in the rankings.
Lame.
Well, "US News" should stop those liars.
They try.
But a bigger problem than schools lying about the rankings is schools gaming them.
Ooh, gaming, like Overwatch? Oh, I love Overwatch.
I'm a Hanzo main.
Ugh.
And no, I'm talking about schools that game the system.
Northeastern sent out 200,000 personalized letters encouraging students to apply even though they only had room for 2800.
Northeastern wants you! Not you, not you, not you.
This allowed them to pick and choose the students that best fit US News's formula.
You'll improve our rankings real nice.
That seems kind of shady.
And it gets worse.
To attract the right type of students, schools spend massive amounts of money building luxury dorms with fancy amenities that have nothing to do with education at all.
We simply must get our ranking up.
Why don't we improve our graduation rate? Nope! Let's build an IMAX theater, a rock-climbing wall and two, no three fraternity hazing cabanas.
And we'll pay for them by raising tuition or something.
Now! Get building! (DISTANT JACK HAMMERING) Out of all the criteria "US News" uses to rank the best colleges, price isn't one of them.
And since 1963, the cost of attending a private four-year college has almost tripled.
(COINS JINGLING, CHEERING) That's insanely high.
Like, whippets for the first time high.
Yeah, it is.
Today, the average cost for just one year at a private college is over $39,000.
That's about ten grand more than most Americans even make in a year.
One year's tuition.
That will cost you your car (CAR PASSING, HONKS) - Your home - (DOORBELL CHIMES) - Your kidneys.
- (KNIVES SLICING) Guess I'll find some other way to filter my blood.
Think about that.
Even though the cost of college is skyrocketing, we still pick schools based on an arbitrary list that has rewarded colleges for wasting money leaving students like you to foot the bill.
Dude, what the vape! First, you tell me that if I ever wanna be rich, I have to go to college.
Then you tell me that I probably can't even afford to go to college.
How will I make an app that identifies cheeses?! Oh! I know.
Students loans, of course.
Who cares if tuition is high? I take out a loan and bam, I can afford any school I want.
No sweat.
Actually, student loans are crippling the finances of millions.
Hey, guys, kegger at the crew house.
- Let me tell you about it.
- I'm listening, kegger! (MAN OVER PA) If there's a Cole Tyson here, please come to the Quad.
Your mom iing for you and thinks you're dead.
(WHISTLING) (MUSIC PLAYING, LAUGHTER) Finally, a party.
I was stressing so hard about how to pay for college.
But now that I know I could just take out a bunch of student loans, I can chill.
Cole, wait.
The truth is student debt is crippling the finances of millions of people, and there's no end in sight.
Chill, Dad, I'll be fine.
(CHATTER) Oh-ho-ho, select! 'Sup, friendo? Care for a loanski? Hit me, loan tender.
See, Adam, student loans help people.
A lot of us wouldn't be able to go to college without them.
(ADAM) Right, they're a necessity.
That's why it's even more disturbing what they're doing to people.
Chill, Sheldon, everybody's doing it.
That's true.
42 million Americans have student loan debt totaling $1.
3 trillion.
Trillion? That's a whole lot of Pokémon Go coins.
And student loan debt has become the worst kind of debt.
Let me tell you a story.
Before 1972, students could get federally backed loans to pay for school.
But there weren't enough to go around.
Please, sir, may I have a loan? All tapped out, sorry.
(ADAM) But then, Richard Nixon created the Student Loan Marketing Association.
Or as it's known today Sallie Mae.
Now, Sallie, your job is to buy loans from the banks so they can lend more.
But Uncle Sam is watching.
So, don't be a crook.
This system freed up financial institutions to issue more loans which meant more students could go to college.
Please, just one.
Look, I told you, there's no more Whoa! Thanks, Sallie! The party's on! (CROWD WHOOPING) (UNCLE SAM) Uh, loan responsibly, now.
Just loan responsibly.
Seems like a good system.
It was! But the party foul began when the government moved to privatize Sallie Mae in the 1990s.
I'm tired of playing chaperone.
You're free, Sallie.
(GASPS) Free market.
(ADAM) A compromise between President Clinton and congressional republicans cut Sallie Mae loose.
Who wants loans, bitches?! (ADAM) Now Sallie Mae was in it for the profits.
And profits they received.
They made a fortune off of government fees.
This chick is awesome.
I'm gonna get loaned up tonight.
Sallie Mae poured their new-found wealth into projects designed to increase those profits.
Come on, dude, she's not that shady.
Oh, you'd be surprised.
Fearing competition, Sallie Mae started marketing like crazy.
(CASH REGISTER OPENS) (ADAM) They paid colleges to drop direct government loans and sign up for their program Hey! Ditch the clown and this could all be yours.
(ADAM) and sponsored cruises for financial aid officers.
Oh, you boys have to come on my boat.
Sallie Mae even placed undercover reps in university call centers where they tricked students into thinking they were talking to college loan officers.
You have got to meet this girl.
She is so cool.
And she didn't even pay me to say that.
Sallie Mae, really doing everybody dirty like that.
I'm afraid so.
And soon, students were stuck with the worst kind of debt you can have.
Often, they're encouraged to take out more loans than they can even afford.
What's happening? Don't worry about that right now.
These are the best four years of your life! Yeah, I'm 17, I know what I'm doing.
Hey, my payments are super low.
I'll finish these soon.
Sorry, you won't.
(COLE) No! Many borrowers have monthly payments that are so low, they don't even cover the interest.
You could be in a situation where you're paying hundreds of dollars a month, but the amount you owe is still growing.
Oh, God, I can't keep up with this.
One in four borrowers are behind on their student loans.
And over eight million are in default.
What? That's crazy! (LOUD THUD) And here's where it gets really scary.
Unlike other types of debt, if you default on a federal student loan, the government can garnish up to 15% of your wages, tax refunds and social security benefits.
Hell, yeah! Rent money, baby.
What the Sorry, Uncle chooses where your money goes now.
(ADAM) And if your parents co-signed your loan, their income can be garnished too.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
I just wanted to go here because the school colors matched my Flyknits.
Adam, this is too much.
Make it stop! I wanna file for bankruptcy.
Oh! Sorry, you can't.
Sallie Mae spent decades lobbying congress to roll back consumer protections.
And it all paid off in 2005 when Sallie Mae won their crowning achievement.
Because now, unlike almost all other forms of debt, it is nearly impossible to declare bankruptcy for student loans.
It's insane.
You sign a piece of paper when you're 18, and you can get stuck for life.
(MOANING) Oh, I can't get them off! In 2010, the government finally cut out middle men like Sallie Mae, but it wasn't enough.
A generation of Americans have had to financially cripple themselves with debt just to get the basic education that will allow them to survive in today's economy.
That's nauseating.
Yeah, it is.
But let me tell you about a few things you can do to Oh, I really mean that's nauseating.
Oh, God! (RETCHING) Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.
(R) Hey, Cole? You okay? No, I'm not okay.
First you tell me that if I ever wanna succeed, I have to go to college.
Then you tell me if I go to college, I could be trapped in debt until I die.
This whole system is effed up! Yeah, I agree.
It is effed up that we built an economy that requires a college degree to participate, then forces people to take on massive loans that bleed them dry just to get that degree.
But there are a few things you can do to reduce the burden.
Come on, let's get out of here.
This place smells like cigarettes and feet.
Oh, hey, Adam.
I was just practicing "Wonderwall.
" - You wanna hear? - Maybe later.
Cole, this is Heather Jarvis.
She's a lawyer who specializes in student loan law.
Hi, Cole.
First of all, I want you to know, it's okay to be confused about this stuff.
When I first went to school, I borrowed $125,000 without fully understanding what the consequences were.
Oh, dang.
And I had it easy.
I've had some clients who have lost their opportunity for debt forgiveness or seen their monthly payments go up just because of bad advice they got from their loan provider.
Lame-ass loan provider.
I'm low-key mad now for real.
So, what do I do? Shop around.
The most expansive school you get into might not be the best one for you.
A degree from an in-state public school is usually a better investment than one from an expensive private school.
And at a fraction of the cost.
And don't forget about community colleges.
They have low tuition.
And you can usually transfer credits to a bigger name school after a couple of years.
Community colleges are a great resource, one our government really should invest in.
But what if I still need that cash? Well, avoid borrowing too much.
And avoid private student loans.
And one thing everybody needs to do is fill out the FAFSA, That's what let's you know what scholarships and grants you're eligible for.
And the great thing about grants is that you don't have to pay them back.
Whoa, tight.
Cole's getting paid.
And we all need to be advocates to simplify and improve this system.
Students need bankruptcy protection as much as anybody.
Word.
Thanks, Heather.
No problem.
Now if you'll excuse me Today No.
Today No.
Never mind.
(COLE'S MOM) Cole?! Cole?! Mom! Mom, I'm over here.
Oh.
I'm okay.
Cole, I have been looking everywhere for you.
Where have you been? I got drunk with this old man and he taught me a lot.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
(CHUCKLING) He showed me you were right.
I need to go to college.
Wait really? Mm-hmm.
You like it here.
I do, but I think I wanna give community college a try.
Save some money.
If that's what you want, that's what I want too.
Now let's get you home so you miss debate with Spalding.
Thanks, Adam, you're a pretty select dude, you know that? Wow, it was all worth it for that.
You know, the invention of the Solo cup is actually quite remarkable.
The Solo Company was relatively forgettable until the 1970s when Robert L.
Hulseman invented the sturdy, yet disposable Solo cup.
Now, while the iconic color is red, his favorite was actually blue.
Huh, guess I'm drinking alone tonight.
Whoo! I did it!
You need to take this seriously.
How do you expect to make a living without a college degree? Come on, Ma, you know I'm full of "Shark Tank" caliber ideas.
A pipe that lights itself.
Google Glasses, but they're sunglasses.
A period tracking app but for men.
Honey, I have always said you will make an incredible entrepreneur.
I prefer chillventor.
But first you need a degree.
Now, wait here while I get a map.
Fam, none of the greatest minds got a degree.
Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg.
Lil Yachty, they all dropped out.
Don't need to go to college.
So, on your right, you'll see a dorm, unfortunately named after a former slaveholder.
And on your left, you'll see someone who is totally wrong about college.
Hi, Cole.
I'm here to set you straight.
What, are you recruiting for an acapella group? Oh, no, I wish I was that cool.
I'm Adam Conover, and this is "Adam Ruins Everything.
" You're the nerd from the YouTube ads they play before fail compilations.
Are you gonna ruin college? That's sick! I bet you're gonna break down why college is a waste of time.
And everyone should drop out and and get rich.
My dude! I hate to turn down a bro hug, Cole, but I'm gonna disappoint you.
In the 21st century, if you wanna earn a decent living, you pretty much have to go to college.
What? You sound like a parent.
I thought you were cool! Oh, no, I am definitely not that.
And it's the truth.
The truth isn't always cool.
Whatever.
I'm gonna be like Bill Gates.
He dropped out of college and made bazillions.
Ah, yes, the famous Bill Gates myth.
Everyone uses him as an example of why no one needs to go to college, as though Bill were just some everyman who had one great idea.
Wow, look at all these windows.
I've got an idea.
Microsoft Word.
Money, money (LAUGHING) Right, that's exactly what I wanna do with my Micro Cooler.
It's a microwave that cools things.
Okay, you know that's called a freezer, right? And secondly, the only reason Bill Gates was able to succeed without a college degree is that he was a freakishly hard-working genius who had advantages almost no one else does.
Before Gates even went to college, his parents enrolled him in an expensive private high school that just happened to have a state-of-the-art computer no other kid would have access to.
Whoa, he's, like "Whiplash" except his "Whiplash" is computers.
Before he dropped out, Gates already had thousands of hours of programming experience and was already an expert.
Welcome to Programming 101.
For our first assignment Did it already, plus the next ten.
Do I pass? And before he left Harvard, Gates and his partner had already founded Microsoft and made the first software that ran on personal computers.
So, for him, dropping out wasn't that really much of a risk.
And I never even officially dropped out.
If I failed, I could've always gone back to my Ivy League education on my parent's dime.
The fact is Bill Gates's dropout story just isn't one that most people can emulate.
Because almost no one is that accomplished, gifted and just plain lucky.
Are you? Well in my case, I did get a bunch of kids in my school to start saying the word "select.
" You know, like, "Those shoes are select!" Or, "That party had me feeling select!" So, in that way, I'm kind of like Bill Gates.
Whatever, dude.
What about all the other awesome dropouts, like, Mark Zuckerberg or Carmelo Anthony and Or Jeffrey Dahmer? I dropped out of college and I'm doing okay.
I eat well every night.
Oh, darn.
When you focus only on the famous success stories, but ignore the lesser known failures, you're committing a logical error known as survivor bias.
For every tech billionaire dropout the media obsesses over, there are countless less fortunate folks whose stories you never hear.
But if you did, they might sound something like this.
Yeah, dude, I thought I was gonna be Zuckerberg, too.
I was wrong.
College dropouts are 71% more likely to be unemployed.
No You guys are just lazy.
I'm driven, I know I'd get a job.
Yeah, maybe, but you're not gonna get rich.
College grads make more than high school grads at every point of their careers.
What? Why are you guys even recruiting? Something to do, I guess.
Those numbers are crazy.
But my dad doesn't have a degree.
He did fine.
So what changed? Our economy.
Over the past few decades, getting a middle class job without a college degree has become way more difficult.
Since 1985, on average, the US has lost over 300,000 manufacturing jobs per year.
Whoa, I think that's more than, like, Steve Aoki's Instagram followers.
And at the same time, we've gained jobs in skilled fields.
In the last 20 years, software jobs have gone up by over 500%.
And in the past decade, Internet jobs have increased by 600%.
And those jobs require a college education.
In the six years since the great recession, less than one percent of jobs created have gone to those with a high school diploma or less.
Whoa, that's it? Yeah.
That's why even Bill Gates himself says more Americans need to go to college.
Really? Bill Gates said that? Yup, the truth is a college education is a virtual necessity to compete in today's economy.
That's why it's such a shame that so many people can't afford one.
Oh, I never thought I'd say this but my mom was right! If I ever wanna be rich, I need to go to college.
What else was she right about? Maybe Celine Dion is good! Is that a kind of mustard? But if I'm going to college, it's gotta be the best college.
Hey, you! Is this place select or not?! I know, I'll get one of those magazines that ranks colleges.
That's tell me which is icy and which is dicey.
(LAUGHING) Uh, those rankings are pretty arbitrary.
Let me tell you about it! (COLE'S MOM) Cole?! Cole?! Where'd you go? Cole! Oh, perfect, "US News and World Report.
" They rank every school in the things that matter most.
Smartness, how many books they got.
Which school's colors match my dopest Flyknits.
(ADAM) No, they don't.
"US News and World Report's" ranking may be popular.
But they've rewarded schools that lie, cheat and manipulate the system.
Oh! Ahh! But I thought it was created by scientists or whatever.
Nope, in fact when "US News" created these rankings in 1983, they were basically a popularity contest.
They would just ask college presidents what they thought of each other's schools.
Get this, Harvard told me that Yale told them that they heard Princeton say Brown's MBA program is super basic.
Oh, I love gossip.
But this opened them up to criticism.
You're being so rude.
Princeton doesn't even know me.
They're haters, and you're a hater! Unfriend.
No, don't unfriend me.
I can change! And change they did.
Starting in 1988, "US News" reworked their ranking system into a complicated formula.
(COLE) Numbers, percentage signs.
Looks like some legit science.
Uh, it's not.
We weight these categories however we want.
It's subjective.
Check it out.
This year, alumni giving is gonna be 69 percent.
(CHUCKLES) Uh, that's too silly even for me.
So, this pseudo scientific system became incredibly powerful.
Now when a school slips in the rankings, it can affect the number of applications they receive, their research funding, even the all-important alumni donations.
We dropped two places?! I'm taking my check and my name back.
Enjoy your lame bookstore, failures! Because of this, schools are under intense pressure to keep their ranking up.
And that's good, right? It's a free market.
It forces schools to be better.
Nope, it forces them to seem better.
And for some schools, that even means they'll lie.
At Claremont McKenna, a senior officer lied about our SA scores for six years.
At Clemson, we gave other schools low ratings to make ourselves look better.
At lona College, we lied about multiple categories on the survey for nine years.
(LAUGHING) And it worked.
If they hadn't lied, Iona would've been 20 spots lower in the rankings.
Lame.
Well, "US News" should stop those liars.
They try.
But a bigger problem than schools lying about the rankings is schools gaming them.
Ooh, gaming, like Overwatch? Oh, I love Overwatch.
I'm a Hanzo main.
Ugh.
And no, I'm talking about schools that game the system.
Northeastern sent out 200,000 personalized letters encouraging students to apply even though they only had room for 2800.
Northeastern wants you! Not you, not you, not you.
This allowed them to pick and choose the students that best fit US News's formula.
You'll improve our rankings real nice.
That seems kind of shady.
And it gets worse.
To attract the right type of students, schools spend massive amounts of money building luxury dorms with fancy amenities that have nothing to do with education at all.
We simply must get our ranking up.
Why don't we improve our graduation rate? Nope! Let's build an IMAX theater, a rock-climbing wall and two, no three fraternity hazing cabanas.
And we'll pay for them by raising tuition or something.
Now! Get building! (DISTANT JACK HAMMERING) Out of all the criteria "US News" uses to rank the best colleges, price isn't one of them.
And since 1963, the cost of attending a private four-year college has almost tripled.
(COINS JINGLING, CHEERING) That's insanely high.
Like, whippets for the first time high.
Yeah, it is.
Today, the average cost for just one year at a private college is over $39,000.
That's about ten grand more than most Americans even make in a year.
One year's tuition.
That will cost you your car (CAR PASSING, HONKS) - Your home - (DOORBELL CHIMES) - Your kidneys.
- (KNIVES SLICING) Guess I'll find some other way to filter my blood.
Think about that.
Even though the cost of college is skyrocketing, we still pick schools based on an arbitrary list that has rewarded colleges for wasting money leaving students like you to foot the bill.
Dude, what the vape! First, you tell me that if I ever wanna be rich, I have to go to college.
Then you tell me that I probably can't even afford to go to college.
How will I make an app that identifies cheeses?! Oh! I know.
Students loans, of course.
Who cares if tuition is high? I take out a loan and bam, I can afford any school I want.
No sweat.
Actually, student loans are crippling the finances of millions.
Hey, guys, kegger at the crew house.
- Let me tell you about it.
- I'm listening, kegger! (MAN OVER PA) If there's a Cole Tyson here, please come to the Quad.
Your mom iing for you and thinks you're dead.
(WHISTLING) (MUSIC PLAYING, LAUGHTER) Finally, a party.
I was stressing so hard about how to pay for college.
But now that I know I could just take out a bunch of student loans, I can chill.
Cole, wait.
The truth is student debt is crippling the finances of millions of people, and there's no end in sight.
Chill, Dad, I'll be fine.
(CHATTER) Oh-ho-ho, select! 'Sup, friendo? Care for a loanski? Hit me, loan tender.
See, Adam, student loans help people.
A lot of us wouldn't be able to go to college without them.
(ADAM) Right, they're a necessity.
That's why it's even more disturbing what they're doing to people.
Chill, Sheldon, everybody's doing it.
That's true.
42 million Americans have student loan debt totaling $1.
3 trillion.
Trillion? That's a whole lot of Pokémon Go coins.
And student loan debt has become the worst kind of debt.
Let me tell you a story.
Before 1972, students could get federally backed loans to pay for school.
But there weren't enough to go around.
Please, sir, may I have a loan? All tapped out, sorry.
(ADAM) But then, Richard Nixon created the Student Loan Marketing Association.
Or as it's known today Sallie Mae.
Now, Sallie, your job is to buy loans from the banks so they can lend more.
But Uncle Sam is watching.
So, don't be a crook.
This system freed up financial institutions to issue more loans which meant more students could go to college.
Please, just one.
Look, I told you, there's no more Whoa! Thanks, Sallie! The party's on! (CROWD WHOOPING) (UNCLE SAM) Uh, loan responsibly, now.
Just loan responsibly.
Seems like a good system.
It was! But the party foul began when the government moved to privatize Sallie Mae in the 1990s.
I'm tired of playing chaperone.
You're free, Sallie.
(GASPS) Free market.
(ADAM) A compromise between President Clinton and congressional republicans cut Sallie Mae loose.
Who wants loans, bitches?! (ADAM) Now Sallie Mae was in it for the profits.
And profits they received.
They made a fortune off of government fees.
This chick is awesome.
I'm gonna get loaned up tonight.
Sallie Mae poured their new-found wealth into projects designed to increase those profits.
Come on, dude, she's not that shady.
Oh, you'd be surprised.
Fearing competition, Sallie Mae started marketing like crazy.
(CASH REGISTER OPENS) (ADAM) They paid colleges to drop direct government loans and sign up for their program Hey! Ditch the clown and this could all be yours.
(ADAM) and sponsored cruises for financial aid officers.
Oh, you boys have to come on my boat.
Sallie Mae even placed undercover reps in university call centers where they tricked students into thinking they were talking to college loan officers.
You have got to meet this girl.
She is so cool.
And she didn't even pay me to say that.
Sallie Mae, really doing everybody dirty like that.
I'm afraid so.
And soon, students were stuck with the worst kind of debt you can have.
Often, they're encouraged to take out more loans than they can even afford.
What's happening? Don't worry about that right now.
These are the best four years of your life! Yeah, I'm 17, I know what I'm doing.
Hey, my payments are super low.
I'll finish these soon.
Sorry, you won't.
(COLE) No! Many borrowers have monthly payments that are so low, they don't even cover the interest.
You could be in a situation where you're paying hundreds of dollars a month, but the amount you owe is still growing.
Oh, God, I can't keep up with this.
One in four borrowers are behind on their student loans.
And over eight million are in default.
What? That's crazy! (LOUD THUD) And here's where it gets really scary.
Unlike other types of debt, if you default on a federal student loan, the government can garnish up to 15% of your wages, tax refunds and social security benefits.
Hell, yeah! Rent money, baby.
What the Sorry, Uncle chooses where your money goes now.
(ADAM) And if your parents co-signed your loan, their income can be garnished too.
I'm sorry, Mom and Dad.
I just wanted to go here because the school colors matched my Flyknits.
Adam, this is too much.
Make it stop! I wanna file for bankruptcy.
Oh! Sorry, you can't.
Sallie Mae spent decades lobbying congress to roll back consumer protections.
And it all paid off in 2005 when Sallie Mae won their crowning achievement.
Because now, unlike almost all other forms of debt, it is nearly impossible to declare bankruptcy for student loans.
It's insane.
You sign a piece of paper when you're 18, and you can get stuck for life.
(MOANING) Oh, I can't get them off! In 2010, the government finally cut out middle men like Sallie Mae, but it wasn't enough.
A generation of Americans have had to financially cripple themselves with debt just to get the basic education that will allow them to survive in today's economy.
That's nauseating.
Yeah, it is.
But let me tell you about a few things you can do to Oh, I really mean that's nauseating.
Oh, God! (RETCHING) Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.
(MUSIC PLAYING) Oh, Adam isn't the barf boy.
(R) Hey, Cole? You okay? No, I'm not okay.
First you tell me that if I ever wanna succeed, I have to go to college.
Then you tell me if I go to college, I could be trapped in debt until I die.
This whole system is effed up! Yeah, I agree.
It is effed up that we built an economy that requires a college degree to participate, then forces people to take on massive loans that bleed them dry just to get that degree.
But there are a few things you can do to reduce the burden.
Come on, let's get out of here.
This place smells like cigarettes and feet.
Oh, hey, Adam.
I was just practicing "Wonderwall.
" - You wanna hear? - Maybe later.
Cole, this is Heather Jarvis.
She's a lawyer who specializes in student loan law.
Hi, Cole.
First of all, I want you to know, it's okay to be confused about this stuff.
When I first went to school, I borrowed $125,000 without fully understanding what the consequences were.
Oh, dang.
And I had it easy.
I've had some clients who have lost their opportunity for debt forgiveness or seen their monthly payments go up just because of bad advice they got from their loan provider.
Lame-ass loan provider.
I'm low-key mad now for real.
So, what do I do? Shop around.
The most expansive school you get into might not be the best one for you.
A degree from an in-state public school is usually a better investment than one from an expensive private school.
And at a fraction of the cost.
And don't forget about community colleges.
They have low tuition.
And you can usually transfer credits to a bigger name school after a couple of years.
Community colleges are a great resource, one our government really should invest in.
But what if I still need that cash? Well, avoid borrowing too much.
And avoid private student loans.
And one thing everybody needs to do is fill out the FAFSA, That's what let's you know what scholarships and grants you're eligible for.
And the great thing about grants is that you don't have to pay them back.
Whoa, tight.
Cole's getting paid.
And we all need to be advocates to simplify and improve this system.
Students need bankruptcy protection as much as anybody.
Word.
Thanks, Heather.
No problem.
Now if you'll excuse me Today No.
Today No.
Never mind.
(COLE'S MOM) Cole?! Cole?! Mom! Mom, I'm over here.
Oh.
I'm okay.
Cole, I have been looking everywhere for you.
Where have you been? I got drunk with this old man and he taught me a lot.
It's not as bad as it sounds.
(CHUCKLING) He showed me you were right.
I need to go to college.
Wait really? Mm-hmm.
You like it here.
I do, but I think I wanna give community college a try.
Save some money.
If that's what you want, that's what I want too.
Now let's get you home so you miss debate with Spalding.
Thanks, Adam, you're a pretty select dude, you know that? Wow, it was all worth it for that.
You know, the invention of the Solo cup is actually quite remarkable.
The Solo Company was relatively forgettable until the 1970s when Robert L.
Hulseman invented the sturdy, yet disposable Solo cup.
Now, while the iconic color is red, his favorite was actually blue.
Huh, guess I'm drinking alone tonight.
Whoo! I did it!