All Creatures Great and Small (2020) s02e07 Episode Script

1 Darrowby 2-2-9-7.
Dave Kitson.
Mr Kitson.
I've got a cow that needs seeing to.
Yes.
Right away.
Yes, all right.
Easy girl.
Easy.
There now.
Why didn't you get dressed? You asked me to come right away, Mr Kitson, so here I am.
Is that all you're doing for her? I've given her a shot of Prontosil that'll help with the pneumonia.
I'll come back this evening to see how she's getting on.
And I suppose you'll still be charging us for that then, will ye? That's how a business tends to operate.
What's the trouble here? She had a rough time lambing yesterday.
How'd you mean, rough? Big lamb got stuck with its leg in a funny position, couldn't fetch it round.
So you just pulled it out as it was? Aye, there was nothing else I could do.
Ey.
What are you up to? Look, don't bother yourself on my account.
It's over for her.
Maybe there's something I can do.
Ey, lad.
You have stock that long, you know when they're done.
At least let me ease her pain.
Pay you for what's gonna pass anyway? No, thank you.
I'd rather let nature run its course than have knacker's yard pick her up later.
Merry Christmas, Mr Kitson.
Aye, you too, lad.
Here now.
This will ease the pain.
It'll soon be over.
Keep going.
More? Well, you want to have leftovers in the evening.
Sprouts.
Couple of handfuls.
Carrots, and Ooh, parsnips.
Yes.
How many are you feeding? Well, they're hard-working men.
For the most part.
Er, excuse me! I've been the model student these last three months.
No doubt you'll reap the reward.
What're your plans for tomorrow? I'm rather looking forward to having an empty house for once.
Radio on, a glass of sherry in my hand.
You're not just saying that? No, it'll be a delight.
Audrey.
When does the party start tonight? Oh, any time after 7:30.
I look forward to it.
See you then.
Make sure your lipstick's on and your mistletoe is up.
Gerald's a friend, and I'm a married woman.
So was I in the not-too-distant past.
Just look at all the fun I'm having now.
Oh, spare me the details.
Please.
Honestly, Audrey a little feeling can make you feel a whole lot.
I'm perfectly happy feeling exactly as I am.
Well, I'll see you later.
Make sure you wear something to catch his eye.
I don't know about Wish she wouldn't talk about my brother like that, it's enough to bring my breakfast up.
Tris, would would you mind picking up the rest? I've just got to pop back to the house for something.
Not at all, Mrs H, happy to help.
Both sides! Morning, Mrs Hall.
There you are, two letters.
Oh, thanks! Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Tristan, is that you? Only me.
What happened to this one? Had his ear bitten off.
Know the feeling.
Are you aware that Diana's on her own for Christmas? She says she doesn't mind.
'Tis a shame though, in't it? Mrs Hall, I feel you want me to do something, but you don't want to ask because once you do, you know I'll have to say yes, and then the illusion that I have at least some semblance of control over the goings-on in this place will evaporate, and then where will we be? I think you should invite Diana for Christmas lunch tomorrow.
Now, the problem, you see, the problem, Mrs Hall, is with something like Christmas Day, it's a day for the family.
To invite Diana might raise certain expectations.
It's your house, your decision.
But I think it's wrong she's on her own.
Well, why don't you invite your gentleman friend? He's a bachelor, isn't he? Perhaps it's best we keep the numbers as they are.
Far be it for me to disagree with you, Mrs Hall.
Darrowby 2-2-9-7.
Good morning, dear.
Oh, Mrs Pumphrey.
Could one of the uncles attend for Tricki? Of course.
I'll send one of them up to you right away.
Thank you.
What was that? Mrs Pumphrey, there's summat wrong with Tricki.
I'll do it.
No, no, James, you had an early start with Kitson, you've got plenty on today.
Leave it to me.
Thank you, Siegfried.
Mm.
Mrs Pumphrey's always generous with the sherry this time of year.
Presents? For the Aldersons.
That's lovely.
Here Looks like you've a few Christmas cards.
Ah, this is from Dad.
Your mum must be upset you're not back for Christmas.
Oh, they've got Uncle Alf and kids coming over.
I'm sure she'll be fine.
Oh, James.
Your mother won't be fine.
Which is why she's got people coming to stay, take her mind off it.
He wants me to call tomorrow at five.
Well, that's good, in't it? Means you get to speak to your mum.
Oh, I hope so.
We haven't spoken since they visited, I wrote, but I only heard back from Dad.
She's your mother, course she wants to talk to you on Christmas Day.
Hello? In here! Oh, look, Tricki, it's Mr Farnon! Morning, Mrs Pumphrey, hello, Tricki! Please excuse the state of things, I've sent my staff home.
It's only right people should be with their families at Christmas.
What seems to be the trouble with you, then? Aren't you going to say hello? Oh, can't even raise a paw.
He's been off his food for a few days now.
Don't worry.
I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding out what's wrong with him.
'Scuse me, Tricki.
Cook's been away, so it hasn't been his usual fare, I thought perhaps that was it, but .
.
this morning, poor darling had the trots.
I'm sorry to embarrass you, Tricki, but he's a doctor.
He's been terribly depressed.
Tricki's got gastro-enteritis.
He's lost a lot of weight, and I'm seeing signs of dehydration.
I'm afraid we'll have to take him in for treatment.
Oh, dear! I won't be with my little man for Christmas! Rest assured, we'll do everything in our power to have him right and back with you by tomorrow.
Thank you, Mr Farnon.
You are so kind.
Oh, Merry Christmas, Maggie.
How've you been in my absence? Didn't notice you were gone.
Here you go, gentlemen.
Thanks, Maggie.
Thanks, Maggie.
Really, Maggie? You know I was away at college, advancing my prospects.
Oh, really? See you've got your mistletoe, then.
Oh, you know me.
Oh, yes.
Ale? Please.
So did you, then? Did I what? Advance your prospects? I'm sure I'll find out soon enough.
Just got to fix me hair and I'll be ready to go.
I've got a few visits to make on the way, I hope you don't mind.
I'll wear me wellies.
Are those presents? I think they might be, but I'm not sure there's any here for you.
I'll put them under the tree.
Jenny, why don't you show James your pudding? I been soaking it in brandy every week for over a month.
Dad's worried it might get you tipsy.
I don't know how I got this reputation.
It looks fantastic.
Mrs Hall would be proud.
It were actually her recipe I followed.
It's only been the three of us at Christmas since Mum died.
So we're quite excited, aren't we? You better wear loose trousers, because we have got a hell of goose in this year! She's determined to cook tomorrow.
She's even missing out on tonight's party so her and me dad can prepare it all.
I didn't realise you'd be inviting me to Christmas lunch! Oh, where did you think we'd be? Skeldale House.
Mrs Hall's expecting us.
So, what d'you think? Oh, aye! Well You took your time.
Had trouble finding redcurrants.
No, they don't sell them at the Drovers.
How do you know? How do you always know? Because I'm a mother.
We've a sixth sense and a nose.
Anything from Edward this year? No.
I didn't expect it.
That doesn't mean I weren't hoping for it.
Nothing for me, I suppose, from Edinburgh? I'm sure Mr Farnon has learned his lesson.
Well, I sincerely doubt that.
But I wanted to make sure you were the one who opened it this time.
And though you may stray from the path once in a while, you're a wonderful, loving boy, with a warm heart and a good head on your shoulders.
Nothing inside that envelope can change that.
Where've you been? Oh, just picking up a few Christmas bits for Mrs H.
What's that? Bill for you, I'm afraid.
Well, why on earth are you giving it to me? Come on.
I don't know whether to be amazed or appalled.
Well Tristan! Oh, poor little man.
He's in a dreadful state.
You've tried him on bismuth, kaolin and chlorodyne, I presume? No discernible improvement.
He's gulping the water, trying to replace what's lost, but he just can't keep it down.
We could try him on powdered ipecacuanha and opium, I read something about using a decoction of haematoxylin in cases like this, although there's not a huge body of evidence to support its use.
I'm sorry, you read something? Don't sound so surprised.
No.
That was unkind.
I really did apply myself this time.
And I'm sure you'll get the result you deserve.
I'll fetch that medication.
What's this? It's a Cailleach.
Old Woman Winter.
My dad carves one every year.
What do you do with it? We burn it Christmas Day.
You've got to keep the fire going all night long, for good luck, and to ward off evil spirits.
Hello, Mr Kitson.
How's that cow of yours doing? Aye, not bad.
How do, lass? No need to get dressed up on my account.
Don't worry, it's not for your benefit, Dave.
Herd doing all right? Aye.
Getting through the hay faster than we'd like.
In't it always the way.
Old gal there didn't make it past dinner time.
Expert here didn't believe me when I said she were on her way out.
Seems you were right, Mr Kitson.
Aye.
Well, you see, you can do all t'book learning you like, it's got nothing on experience.
Right, I'll leave you to it.
I hope there'll be plenty of ale on tonight! Go on.
Shoo Shoo.
Get inside.
What was that about a ewe? The fight had gone out of her.
He was going to let her die in pain.
I couldn't let that happen, so I gave her an anaesthetic to ease her suffering.
What, without Dave knowing? He was more worried about what it would cost rather than the welfare of the animal.
You should've said something.
Dave Kitson's tighter than an otter's backside.
He needs to learn to appreciate what you do for him.
These Dales farmers are never going to take my word over theirs.
Sometimes it's best to treat the animal and let them think they've got one over you.
That boy, Jess.
He's blooming incorrigible.
Mrs Hall? Ah, there you are.
Have you seen You look different.
I mean that in a pleasant, not a pejorative sense.
I'd better get I'd better get my sausage rolls in the oven.
Come on, Jess, away from those mince pies.
We should let Mrs Hall know we're going to be at yours for lunch tomorrow.
Yeah, I'll do it.
Once she knows the effort Jenny's gone to, she'll understand.
Is that you, James? I'd like your opinion.
Er, James? Sorry, Helen.
Would you mind? Not at all.
Hello! Merry Christmas, come in! Come in, Helen.
Oh, this is nice.
Warm! It is a bit parky out there.
I'll take your coats.
Sorry, Tricki.
That's tender, isn't it? Sounds like we'll get a decent crowd this year.
It's amazing.
Farmers who owe us money go missing for months on end, then magically reappear when there's free ale.
Sweet company refreshes the soul and awakens our hearts with joy.
Aww.
That's something my pa used to say anyway.
Well, I suppose some of them aren't completely intolerable.
I'm sure Diana would be flattered to hear it.
It's starting to get quite serious between you two lovebirds! Ahem, right, yes.
Well, erm you're right, Tricki's badly dehydrated.
I've had him on a saline drip, but it's not helping.
Everything he swallows comes up again.
If he doesn't start eating and drinking soon, I worry he'll be too weak to recover.
I'm trying to encourage him.
I even offered him some rather nice ham, but I expect he's used to such extravagance.
Siegfried? Doesn't matter.
You'll think it's stupid.
For God out with it, man! There is a school of thought that suggests that having something, or more importantly, someone to live for, can help a patient recover.
Oh, please tell me you're not about to preach the healing power of love.
If anyone can coax him out of this and get him back on the road to recovery, it's Mrs Pumphrey.
She's like a mother to this little dog! I told you you'd think it was stupid.
It is.
But right now, I think stupid's all we've got.
Pumphrey residence.
It's Siegfried Farnon.
Oh, Mr Farnon.
Please tell me you're ringing with good news.
He's still struggling, I'm afraid.
We wondered if it would do him good to see you.
Well, if you think it might help.
I I do.
Having somebody there Well .
.
who doesn't feel better knowing there's someone there who cares for them? I understand precisely what you mean, Mr Farnon.
Good.
I'll pick you up as soon as I can.
Goodbye.
Hello! Hello! Hi, Tristan! Maggie! Let me take your coat.
I can undress myself, thank you very much.
Don't even I wouldn't dream of it! I'm getting married.
Very funny, Maggie.
Arthur.
He asked me last week, and we're gonna do it in the New Year.
Hey.
Don't mean we can't have one last night of fun.
Right, there are some snacks on the table.
If you need another drink, just ask Where's Father Christmas? Well, still in the North Pole, I'd imagine.
Er, Mrs Herriot, another beer? In the scullery.
You've got legs, haven't you? Well, you You said just ask.
Well, that were then.
That were just now.
Well, I've changed me mind.
Don't worry, Mr Kitson, I'll fetch it for you.
Sorry, Helen, got a bit behind.
Oh, no, it's no trouble.
Your eyes tell a different story.
I honestly don't know how you do it.
Well, you won't ever have to.
I hope you told James not to bring anything for lunch tomorrow, Actually I'm so pleased we're having you for Christmas.
And a crowd helps you forget the ones you're missing.
We're really looking forward to it.
Aren't we? Oh, yes.
Aye.
Where's Mr Farnon? He's gone to pick up Mrs Pumphrey.
Is Tricki that unwell? The fight's just completely gone out of him.
We're hoping her presence might perk him up a little bit.
There's nothing worrying'll do for it.
Right now, we've more pressing matters.
If these kids don't see Father Christmas soon, there'll be murder, so who's it to be? Hello, children! - Who wants to see Father Christmas? - Meee! Merry Christmas! Come on, then.
Ho ho ho! Me! Me! That's my Christmas present! Mrs Hall.
Lovely spread.
Scrubs up rather well.
He's got that mysterious brooding thing down to a T.
There's not much mystery about someone eating a sausage roll.
Here.
War paint.
Audrey, you are allowed a moment to enjoy yourself.
In fact, I insist upon it.
Oh, that's absolutely fascinating! Gerald! You simply have to hear this.
Diana Oh.
What's so interesting? Nutmeg.
I put it in the sausage rolls, gives them an extra bit of pep.
Wellyour secret's safe with me.
Look at that fluff on Audrey.
There's really no need to panic.
I'm glad to have your friendship.
We can leave it at that, if that's what you want.
Oh, right.
Well Ahem.
Good, then.
I'd better do the rounds, and make sure no-one needs topping up.
I know how much Audrey misses her son.
I couldn't bring myself to tell her we weren't gonna be there.
I really am sorry, I shouldn't have assumed.
It's just because we're going to be living here, after we marry, I mean.
Oh, right.
That's what I know we should've spoken about it, but I need to be at Skeldale House to do my job.
I'm on call at nights, and there isn't even a telephone up at Heston Grange.
I can't very well sleep in the phone box at the end of your lane.
No.
I understand that.
Where will we be sleeping? Not in your bedroom with Tristan in the cupboard.
Siegfried's letting us have the bedsitter at the top of the house.
Have you given any thought to what you think I might be doing? Well, I hadn't really.
Mrs Hall looks after the house.
But I'll still be working on the farm.
I thought we'd be living here.
Doesn't mean you wouldn't be popping back now and then.
If I'm moving in, I'd want to be doing more than popping back.
If? Are you having second thoughts? Not about us.
Do you want us to live at Heston Grange? I'm just trying to explain how I feel.
Ho ho ho! Hello, Father Christmas.
Hello.
Have an orange.
Thank you.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
This is all new for me too.
A few months ago, I thought I was leaving this place entirely.
But as we're finding out, it's impossible to be in two places at once, no matter how much we want to be.
Maybe we can't be together tomorrow.
Or we could try to go to both houses? I'd love to believe we could make that work but we've got to make a decision, even if it means hurting someone's feelings.
Erm, Mrs Pumphrey's here.
I'd better go.
Good luck.
Ooh, look, Tricki! Father Christmas, has come to see you.
Maybe he's got a little present for you.
Ho ho ho, Tricki! Have you been naughty or have you been nice? Oh, dear me.
He's worse than even before.
We've given him several rounds of medication.
But I'm afraid none of them has improved his condition.
These vet lads, they're nice enough but they can't ever understand farming.
You've got to have it in your blood.
Oh, are you joining us, Mrs Herriot? Still Miss Alderson for now, Dave.
There you go.
Thank you.
You're too kind.
Should I turn the music down? Oh, not on my account.
It's nice to hear people having fun at Christmas.
It's usually just us, isn't it, Tricki? He may be small, but he fills every room of that house with such love and life! We have so much fun together.
He certainly seems happy enough.
You think I spoil him, don't you? No, don't deny it, your face gives you away.
His diet is more indulgent than most, it's true.
You must remember, I don't have children or grandchildren to lavish gifts on, orsneak chocolates to at Christmas time.
Oh, please tell me.
The treats aren't the cause of his upset? It's most likely a bug he's picked up somewhere.
And it's hit him hard.
Right.
So, erm, what are we going to do for him? I'm sorry to say that, at this stage, there's very little we can do.
Keep the faith, and hope he pulls through on his own.
You grew up on those hills.
You know what it's like.
Our farms have been in t'family for 200 year or more.
Eh? All that knowledge passed through the ages.
What do these vets know? They're professionals.
There's a science to what they do.
Aye, and they make you pay for it, too.
I've never known a man with such short arms and deep pockets.
Well, I like to do things the old way.
There's no such thing! Everything always changes.
Hand plough gave way to horse drawn, that gave way to tractor.
Aye, that's true.
Nothing stays the same.
It's always changing.
And maybe we've just got to change with it.
Well, that may be, but you will never convince me that they know more out of a book than I do about me own animals.
If you know 'em so well, maybe you should look after 'em a bit better.
Hey! Now listen here, lass.
Don't "lass" me.
James had to give that sheep of yours an injection to help her on her way.
He did what? And if he hadn't, she'd probably still be suffering now.
Oh, is that so? Just so happens ewe's back up on its feet, right as rain.
So who knows what's best for their own stock now then? The ewe survived?! Just one little drop Sorry, James.
Can I speak to you? Excuse me.
You know, part of me always thought we might end up together.
What is so funny?! You're a good lad, Triss.
And we've had a laugh together, but there just there comes a time in life when you just want more than that.
But I'm perfectly capable of providing more .
.
whatever it is you're talking about.
Oh, please.
You're like a magpie, flitting from one shiny object to the next.
And all the girls know it.
They're happy to have a laugh wi' you whilst whilst it's still fun.
Good for a giggle and nowt much else? I only say that because .
.
I do actually care about you.
But if you want something more out .
.
you've got to put a little more in.
I gave the ewe a shot of Nembutal to put her out of her misery.
It's possible that the anaesthetic knocked her out long enough for the body to recover.
At the very least, it would stop Tricki's vomiting.
Are you coming? We're going to give him an injection.
Now, it'll put him to sleep for a little while, but our hope is that'll give him a chance to rest, and get over the stomach problem.
But you should know, it's a very powerful drug.
There's a chance he may not wake up again.
May I? Yeah, of course.
Erm, would you mind if I hold his paw? I'm sure he would like that.
Good night.
Thank you.
Good night.
Good night.
Well done in there.
Both of you.
What happens now? I'll give her a moment with him, and then run her home.
Then it's just a matter of waiting and hoping for the best.
How is he? Time will tell.
Hang on a minute, you've changed.
Look out, Audrey, I think Gerald's trying to make off with the crystal! Gerald? I'm so sorry, Diana, I've been rather tied up.
Oh, no need to apologise.
I've had a tremendous time.
Have you? I mean, good.
Er, pleased to hear it.
Good night, Mr Farnon.
Er, goodnight, thank you.
Mrs Hall tells me you're alone at Christmas.
And rather relishing the prospect, I must say.
It just seems a shame, this time of year, not to be around other people.
Goodnight.
Goodnight! Happy Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
She always cooks enough for a small army, I was wondering Why are you looking at me like that? Siegfried Don't you think having someone over for Christmas raises certain expectations? Oh, I don't know Let's not over-complicate things.
How about you pop round for a night cap instead? Um, well That sounds like a wonderful idea.
The Way You Look Tonight by Fred Astaire What in the world do you think you're doing? Oh, I thought I'd give you a hand.
You'll be here all night otherwise.
You can't do that! Why not? You You just can't.
You're a guest.
Go on.
Shift.
Get out of it! No, wait.
That were for earlier.
The mistletoe.
Bad luck otherwise.
All right.
And you should be here tomorrow.
For lunch.
Not on your own.
With me.
With us.
Well, that sounds lovely.
Now, get out me kitchen! You shouldn't be back here.
You're A guest.
I know.
See you tomorrow.
Oh, that's the garden.
Ah.
You're a dark horse.
Merry Christmas, Jim.
Let's see, shall we? How does it look? Heart-rate is very slow.
I'm going to give him a shot of adrenaline to help bring him out of the anaesthetic.
Thank you.
Come on, Tricki.
Time to wake up.
Tricki! It's Christmas morning.
I'm sure Mrs P has loads of presents for you at home.
OK, Tricki.
Tricki.
Ah! What's this? Huh? What's this? Come on! Come on, then! Yes! Good! Yes! There he is! There he is! Merry Christmas, little man! Yea, Lord, we great thee.
Good morning! Get stuck in! Well done.
Well done.
Mrs Pumphrey will have her Tricki home for Christmas.
He's still a bit wobbly, but he managed to hold his breakfast down.
Come here, gorgeous little man! Oh! We couldn't persuade you in for a glass of sherry by the fire? I I would love to, but Er, no, you're expected elsewhere, that was unfair of me, I shouldn't've asked.
I'm sorry.
Go and be with your family! As it should be.
Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! You know what, Mrs Pumphrey? Why not? It is Christmas after all.
Oh! What can I do? Any matches? Yep.
I was wondering, Mrs Hall .
.
might there be a secret you've been keeping from me? I'm sure there are many.
About Tristan, for instance? His exam results? He were pretty down in the dumps last night.
Didn't say anything.
And I thought it best not to ask.
Right.
Well .
.
maybe veterinary practice isn't his calling after all.
That's the animals fed and watered.
Now it's time to take care of myself.
What is it? What have I done? I wanted to say, it's only a piece of paper, and I'm sure there are lots of other professions you could turn your hand to.
Do you really mean that? Trying to make you into someone you're not, is a waste of the person you are.
Let's just attempt to enjoy one another's company this year, shall we? Sounds delightful.
I'll try to remember that when I make a hash of my first case.
What are you talking about? No.
You didn't! Ohh! Well done! Why didn't you say something last night? I had other things on my mind.
And I thought it would be a nice present for Siegfried.
Hopefully it'll go some way to thanking him for all the money, time and patience .
.
money and time he put in.
I knew it.
I knew you'd do it.
Genuinely.
After Father died Yes, yes, there's no need to get into all that.
I mean it, though.
Genuinely.
Siegfried, are you going to say something? Darrowby 2-2-9-7.
James! Tristan, I Tristan passed his exams.
I would really like to see the results paper, if you wouldn't mind? Unbelievable.
You've got form.
I've got form? That's rich.
No, I don't know why they're arguing.
You told me you'd passed when you hadn't.
YOU told me I passed when I hadn't.
They always manage to find away.
The common theme to both of those cases being that you'd failed.
But now I've passed.
So what possible objection can you have to showing me the letter? Because it would be nice for a change if you had a little faith in me.
Oh, for God's sake, just give me the letter! Right.
See you in a bit.
See you there.
Are you two finished? Ah! Ha! Er I Glad to see you're hard at it.
Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.
How's Tricki? Woke up and tucked straight into a bowl of food.
He's going to be fine, thanks to you.
I think you and Siegfried might have had more to do with it than I did.
Kitson and farmers like him will open up to you in a way they won't with me or Siegfried.
I know your place will always be on the farm.
But you have a place in Skeldale House.
Right, well, I'd better get sorted, don't want to keep Audrey waiting.
Actually, I thought we might have Christmas lunch somewhere else.
Yes.
I've got it.
Allow me, Mrs Pumphrey.
Let's get these open.
Let some Christmas light into the house.
There we are.
Oh Oh! This is too much, having you all here.
In case you haven't met already, this is Gerald.
Welcome, Gerald.
Hello, Gerald.
How do.
You might want to throw a cover over this chair, Mrs, before I set meself down on it.
Nonsense! They're all rather old and tatty anyway, you can only add to their history.
Here.
Dad Dad? We need three more chairs.
Mrs Pumphrey, would you care to join me for a little ding dong? # E'en so here below, below # Let steeple bells be swungen # And "Io, io, io!" By priest and people sungen - # Glo-o-o-o-o-o- -O-o-o-o-o-o- # -O-o-o-o-o-o- # -O-o-o-o-o-oria.
# Hosanna in excelsis! # Glo-o-o-o-o-o- -O-o-o-o-o-o- # -O-o-o-o-o-o- # -O-o-o-o-o-o- # -O-o-o-o-o-o-ria Hosanna in excelsis! ♪ I shall never forget your kindness.
Merry Christmas everyone! Merry Christmas! Hello.
Hello? Mum! Who is it? It's James.
Oh, thank goodness for that! Well, who else would be calling? I don't know, there's a line of people waiting on calls.
It's good to hear your voice.
How're you keeping? Are you having a nice time? I'm fine, Mum, everything's fine.
How are you getting on? Oh, you know, Christmas doesnae change much from one year to the next.
We're happy enough.
Merry Christmas, son! Has Dad done the log yet? Aye, he has, and I'll tell ye something, he's only gone and made it look like me again.
He doesn't make it look like you, Mum.
Oh, yes he does! Do I heck? He doesn't.
It's a coincidence, is it? It's your face he sees the most, so maybe it's not surprising.
Oh, so I've got a face like a log, now? I'm not saying it looks like you, I can't even see it.
I'm not even there! Aye! That's true.
You're not.
We miss you, love.
I know you have to be there, but we still miss you.
Aye.
I miss you too.
Mum, I never said thank you.
For what? If it wasn't for you and Dad paying for me to go to college, I wouldn't be here doing the job I love.
I'll always, always be so grateful for everything you did for me.
Don't be daft.
You're our boy.
What else were we going to do? It's a family tradition.
Every year, we burn a Christmas log to bring prosperity and good luck for the year to come.
I think we could all do with a bit of that.
Thank you.
So what happens now? Some kind of pagan chant? Close.
My dad always quotes a verse of Rabbie Burns.
I hope you don't mind.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and ne'er brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne? For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne.
We'll tak a cup o' kind-ness yet for auld lang syne.
Right, back to the game.
I think I was winning.
Thank you.
Sit.
Where's my counter? James? Yes? Sabotage.
Where's my counter? He passed with distinction.
Well done.
That's not how it works That's how it works, when you find the dice Need a player banned! Dog swallows dice What's the weirdest thing you've ever removed from a dog? Yes! Not at Christmas Well, you don't get to go again after your second.
Oh.
Have a scotch.
God, this is so hard Now back to the start?! You're going to roll a one.
OK Oh! Yeah, good girl! We'll never know who won now.
Well, I was leading at the end, so Jess, what are you doing?