Arctic Air (2012) s02e07 Episode Script
There's Gold in Them Thar Hills
Previously on Arctic Air Blake.
After I broke off my engagement with Krista, I'm sure as hell not going to walk away just because it makes her uncomfortable to have me around.
Kimbo! "The Assassin" Comstock! Them Comstock brothers, got their fingers in all sorts of crap.
You're going down, McAllister.
We're experiencing some turbulence.
You'll have to fasten your seat belt, please.
Are you pilot or a friggin' stewardess? Here it is, what a beauty.
Please do not touch the seats with that greasy instrument.
- You're a cleaning lady, too, now, are you? - A pilot has many responsibilities search and rescue happen to be one of them? Well what? You think you can land down there? I can certainly try.
He's alive.
We're going to get you to a hospital.
We're going to fly you there.
It's too late, fellas.
I'm I'm all done in.
I didn't.
think I'd go this way.
Especially when I finally found Swiftwater Hank McGee's lost claim.
Yeah, sure, look, you just take it easy.
We'll get you to the hospital You can have the claim, fellas.
It's millions.
No good to me now.
Millions? There's a-a map.
In my cabin.
You stake the claim.
Millions.
Millions In gold.
All yours.
No, he's just passed out.
Gold? Millions? We're rich! Hey, relax.
Coffee in bed.
Oh, no.
I am not falling for that again.
What's the hurry? Uh, I'm late? You're late.
And I still have to go home and get my work clothes.
This is crazy.
Yeah, it is crazy.
Mel's totally on my ass about being late.
I mean this.
You running around and having to go home every morning.
And your stuff is just all over the place.
Okay, where is my Hmm? Ooh! Hello.
Look, I think you should be bringing your work clothes here.
And I'll give you a drawer to put your stuff in.
A drawer? I'll clean one out tonight! I'll see you at work.
It's too bad about the old man.
The doctors are very pessimistic.
Yeah, well, we all got to go sometime, and I guess today is Charlie McGray's time.
We should go to his cabin immediately.
What for? To find the map.
The gold.
Saltwater Hank.
It's "Swiftwater," by the way.
Swiftwater Hank.
That's just an old story.
A story with gold in it.
I would very much like to hear it.
Okay About a hundred years ago, a couple of trappers came across Hank dead in the bush, mauled by a grizzly.
Anyway, they found a note or something on him that said he'd found this great motherlode of gold.
Yeah, sure, right? Well, in his pocket they found a nugget the size of an orange.
Well, every prospector in the Yukon went looking for that gold, but nobody ever found it.
Until now! Dev Charlie is old.
He's dying.
You don't go off on a gold hunt because of crazy talk from some dying old man.
Well, he seemed very clear-headed to me.
Look, we can't just give up.
We should consult an expert.
Told you to cancel this a month ago.
If that mine takes off, we'll have a customer for years.
So you've been saying for months, and months.
It's putting us in the red.
Cancel it.
Mel's right.
Headwinds are terrible.
Fuel costs are sky high.
We've got to drop it.
You're porking her, and she's still on my side.
Think you might be wrong this time? Nice, Mel.
I'll deliver it myself.
And cover the fuel costs.
Cover the fuel costs.
Thank you for the help.
Mel's right.
You made a bad deal.
You're still mad about this morning.
This is business, not personal.
And, no, I'm not mad.
Was it the drawer thing? You need space? I'll give you a whole dresser.
Part of a closet even! Krista! Charlie McGray said he found swiftwater Hank's lost claim? Yup.
I told him it was all a crock, but he had to hear it from you, so Charlie McGray is one of the greatest prospectors of our time.
He's a legend.
If he said he found Swiftwater Hank's claim Then he has found it! I knew it! Shh! Shh! Lord liftin' We've got to find that map.
Gold millions in gold! Could be more, way more! Billions.
Let's go! Where are you going? Where do you think? Oh, I suppose you're going to want a cut.
We'll split it three ways.
But a third of a billion is only Three three Well, it is less than a half a billion anyway.
We'll give you 10%.
And where were you geniuses going to look for Charlie's cabin? Yeah.
That's what I thought.
And, of course, you know how to stake a gold claim.
A third of a billion should be quite sufficient.
Deal.
Shh! Shh! Oh, right, shh! Shh! Anyway None of this goes anywhere.
Shh! I just heard from a couple of Arctic Air guys that Charlie McGray found Swiftwater Hank's gold claim.
Boss! Boss, boss, boss Boss! Boss! Private call.
You're going to want to hear this, Bruce! I'll call you back.
You guys want to borrow a plane to look for gold in the Yukon? Are you guys crazy? We'll cut you in on the deal.
And there are all kinds of wild gold stories out there.
No, no, Charlie McGray told us If Charlie McGray was a great prospector, why isn't he rich? Charlie got cheated out of every claim he ever found.
But he found plenty.
Bobby, this is the real deal.
It's a solid lead! Look, I wish I could help, but Bobby, listen.
You know how long I've been waiting for a break like this, right? I mean, this could be the big one.
And I really need this, Bobby.
I'm going to regret this.
You're the best, Bobby! But that's millions.
For the loan of a plane? This is criminal.
Five? Deal.
I'll go prep the plane.
Greed is a terrible thing.
You need to get to gold river right away.
My guy at Arctic Air tells me that's where McAllister's heading.
I've got a plane waiting for you.
Do we get a piece of the action? Just make sure you beat McAllister to the claim.
Won't be a problem, boss.
Why the hell isn't that damn thing fixed and back on my plane? Because I was working on the beaver all morning.
Where the hell is Cece? He is in the Yukon, looking for gold.
Him and Dev and Jim.
Bobby let them take a plane.
Get that damn engine done now.
I want it done yesterday! Bobby! You gave my plane to the Three Stooges for some cockamamie gold rush? Your plane? I thought I owned a quarter of this company.
Okay.
You can loan out a quarter of a plane.
The rest is coming out of your pocket.
What's his problem? Well, you loaned out a plane without running it by us, and you gave a pilot and our head mechanic the day off without telling anybody.
Maybe that's his problem.
You're still mad at me, aren't you? I am not mad.
Why do you keep trying to make this personal? It is just business, Bobby.
I don't think Charlie's at his cabin right now.
Charlie's in the hospital.
He asked us to come and pick up a few things.
That's too bad.
He's a tough old bird.
I expect he'll bounce right back.
Yeah, I got two atvs I can rent you.
But there are three of us.
Well, if you want to wait for an hour or so, Eddie Logan'll be back from cutting brush.
An hour? Or, Heck Atkins should show up any time now.
He's got to start drinking before noon.
Of course He could've brought a bottle with him.
Is it absolutely necessary to hit every rock on the trail? You want to drive? It is only I have no junk in my trunk.
My bottom may never be the same again.
Well, it's not exactly as if I got a pillow under my skinny old arse either! Just keep thinking about the gold! I'm thinking, I'm thinking! We're never going to find a map in this mess.
You neglected to say Charlie was a slob.
I didn't know.
Perhaps we should all take a little break.
That's a good idea.
I've got to go to the outhouse anyway.
Wait.
This is it.
Yes! Uh uh Here, here, here We're right here.
And the gold is there.
It's a bit of a hike.
It's going to be worth it.
Okay, I-I-I gotta go Okay, okay, okay.
Don't you guys go anywhere without me Go, go, go! Hey, Jim.
Russell.
We want the map.
Map? Oh, come on, don't make us take it from you, McAllister.
Well, the last time you took something from me, it didn't turn out too well, now, did it, Kimbo? Last time, I was just playing.
This time, it's for real.
You know, we could just take it off your dead body.
You know, I might even prefer that.
There is no need for violence! The map is in here! Well Smart move.
Totally chickenshit, but smart.
Perhaps we can make an arrangement.
Share the gold.
Good idea.
Or let's make this arrangement.
You two, stay inside until we're gone, and you stay alive.
That, too, could work.
So long, Jimmy boy.
Hey.
We don't want anybody following us.
Good idea.
What do you mean stranded? The Comstocks.
They trashed our ATVs.
We need help.
No way.
You guys got yourselves into this, you can get yourselves out.
We're in the middle of nowhere, Bobby.
Exercise will do you good.
It shouldn't take you more than, what, two days? Give me that.
He's on his way.
No way I'm leaving a pilot and my chief mechanic stranded in the bush, even if they are numbskulls.
Get your ass in a plane.
I can't believe you gave them that map.
They might have killed you.
And all is not lost.
I took a photo.
Of the map.
I wasn't sure it would be clear enough, but look.
Huh? We can still find our way.
But it's too late.
The Comstocks are miles ahead of us.
They'll stake the claim and file before we even get there.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
I put a handful of dirt in each one of their gas tanks.
I figure those engines should seize up any time now.
We're still in the game! Yes! We've got the map, and we lost McAllister and that other clown.
That's good.
Yeah, but there's just one hitch, Bruce.
What's the hitch? We lost the ATVs.
Gonna need new transportation.
Piece! Of! Crap! What's your location? I'll see what I can do.
Oddest damn thing.
Gold river's never been much of a tourist attraction until today.
What about your truck? Old Nellie? I could rent her to you.
But it would be a waste of your money.
You're not getting through there with a four by four.
How many guys you say you got to fetch? Three.
Well, I think I know somebody who can help you out.
Where's Bobby? If he doesn't get here soon, we'll never catch the Comstocks in time.
Well, you seem to forget, they're walking.
I don't care if they're crawling.
We're just sitting here.
Who the hell packed the grub? There's nothing but beans in here.
All Canadians love beans.
Cowboy food.
Yeah, well, that's why cowboys are a dying breed.
Oh, no, beans are a very healthy vegetarian option.
There's got to be some real food around here somewhere.
Beans More beans.
Don't they put anything else in cans these days? Well, let's at least have some coffee.
Lord love a duck.
Boys? Look what we got here.
Jim! Cece! You guys in there? Hey, Bobby, you should see Transportation back into town.
You see? Now we are cowboys! This adventure is getting better all the time.
There's no way you're getting me on one of them hay burners.
There's no way we're going back to town.
Why the hell not? This is why not.
You sure this is the real thing? It is most definitely sona! The Seed of Agni! The God of fire! There's enough gold in here to fill the teeth of a hundred pirates.
He did it.
Old Charlie found Swiftwater Hank's claim.
Well, let's go! God, that ATV was like riding in a rolls royce compared to this beast.
You are right.
Perhaps the cowboy life is not for everyone.
Hey, Jim, how many Miles do we have left? I'm thinking about 40.
All right, we should give these guys a rest.
That's a great idea.
Why don't we camp here for the night? Whoa My arse feels like it's been pinched by a hundred-pound lobster.
I, too, am feeling your pain.
Actually, no, it is my pain I'm feeling.
I'll set up the tents? No can do.
Horses can only carry so much, so, claiming stakes rate higher than tents.
Well, how did grub rate? I have these.
A dying breed, died of flatulence.
Good thing we're not staying in tents, then.
Oh, that's really funny.
He was supposed to bring back my pilot and mechanic, not bugger off! I think he just got swept away in the whole gold rush thing.
I'm gonna sweep him into his next life if he doesn't get his butt back here pronto.
I'm sure he'll be back in a couple of days.
At the latest.
What about tomorrow's flight to Fort Smith he was so keen on? I'll find somebody to cover it.
No.
You'll do it.
Everyone else is flying.
Blake can copilot.
Tomorrow is his day off.
Yeah.
Good luck with that.
You're not Marie Breakfast, boys! Let's eat up and get out of here.
Didn't know you could catch sardines in this part of the country.
I see that you're in a better mood this morning.
I had the most glorious sleep.
I dreamed I was sleeping in a den, cuddled up next to a bear.
Lucky you didn't get your head chewed off.
Hey! You seem a little jumpy.
Did you not sleep well? I slept just fine.
Just don't touch me.
Damn delivery truck's been delayed.
Guess that means we'll be waiting for a couple hours for the cargo.
Perfect.
My day off, and now we're going to be stuck for God knows how long.
Doesn't get any better than this.
Thanks, Bobby.
Well, we could grab a bite to eat at "He Left An Hour Ago.
" What? The local watering hole.
Best burgers in the north.
And they got a pool table.
Pool? No wonder he left.
Okay, well, I'm going into town, and you can come if you want.
What else am I going to do? You gotta relax in your saddle, Dev.
Loosen your reins a bit.
It is difficult to trust an animal who sleeps standing up.
Careful.
Horses can pick up on the attitude of their riders.
Okay, that's good to know.
Wait.
There they are! On ATVs! I thought you said you took care of those machines I did take care of those machines.
There's no way oh God's earth Let's go! Whoa! I'm thinking positive thoughts! Those aren't even the same friggin' ATVs.
There's the bridge.
Was a bridge.
So where did they go? They've got to be around here somewhere.
Aw, no bridge! Uh-oh! Sucks for you guys! See you later, suckers! Do we really have to do this? Just a game or two.
Do you even know how to play? A little.
You? I used to be pretty good.
Well then, you can teach me.
I can teach the lady how to hold a stick.
Excuse me? We're okay on our own.
Yeah, but it's my table.
Your table? Yup.
I'm the champ.
You wanna play here, you play me.
Okay.
We'll take you on.
Bad idea.
You said you were good.
Absolutely.
Really bad idea.
Now, because you're a girl, I'm gonna give you a two-ball handicap.
Thanks, but we'll just shoot straight up.
Woman's libber, eh? Well, you're gonna regret that, honey.
But I'm a gentleman, so I'm going to let you break.
Thanks.
Go ahead "Honey.
" Four ball, side pocket.
Well, this is gonna be fun.
That's okay.
We climb down, cross the river and go to the other side.
Are you completely off your nut? It's a hundred feet straight down to Hell.
Cece is right.
It's too dangerous.
You guys can go back.
I'm not giving up.
Nor am I.
Where is your sense of adventure? I'll tell you where it's not, down at the bottom of that river.
There might be a way to a river crossing.
There's a hill with a goat trail about a mile from here.
Yes.
All right, let's go, let's go! "Small hill," he called it.
My God.
Oh, my God Oh, my God.
Where's your sense of adventure now, kid? I believe it has been swallowed by my sphincter.
Yours and mine both.
I hate heights! I am not loving them either.
Dear sweet Lord, I swear, you get me down out of here alive, and I will quit drinking dark rum.
On Sundays.
Game.
Boy, it's like having my own ATM here.
Again.
Are you sure? I could take your money all day long, blondie.
Give us a chance to get even.
Let's make it 200.
Uh, Krista? We've already lost twice.
You want to throw more money away? Hey, buddy.
Your girl wants to play.
Maybe you should take a hike? Yeah? And why don't you shut the Okay, let's Just rack 'em.
Right.
I think I'll take this one.
Ah, catch me! That was most incredible.
Truly transcendental.
I have never felt so alive.
Cece! Did you You can do it! Think of the gold, my friend! I am thinking! I'm thinking I'm gonna take a dirt nap.
Come on, Cece! You can do it! You've just got to keep moving.
You keep moving! I'll just wait here until you get back.
We're never going to catch them at this rate.
University costs 15 grand a year! That's 60 grand per degree.
Times seven kids, that's 420,000 for the lot! All right.
That's it! That's it! Way to go, Cece! Keep moving, keep moving.
Whoa! Are you okay? Yeah.
You are a regular spiderman.
And you are a regular idjit.
Okay, you guys, come on.
We gotta get moving.
Eight ball, corner.
Yeah, right.
Yes! Okay, time to go.
I was just starting to have fun.
If you don't leave now, they're going to break your thumbs.
I believe I have just been hustled.
What? This is it.
This is Charlie's claim! We made it! We made it, we made it Hi-diddly-diddly Hey, hey, hey Charlie still had a couple of days to file his claim.
Poor guy never had any luck.
So, what do we do now? We pound in our stakes.
What for? I mean, there's got to be stakes all over the place here, why don't we just put our name on 'em? No, we're not doing that.
Charlie's stay.
Out of respect for the old man.
Well, how many of our stakes do we need? About 40? What are you talking about, 40? Four posts per claim.
Is that all? Well, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
Start your engines.
You are a hustler.
You were gonna hustle me until that cowboy came along.
Sorry.
Habit.
Some kids baby-sat.
I played pool.
I wouldn't have taken your money.
Yeah.
Oh, God, the look on that guy's face when you beat him? That was worth the trip.
God, it felt like old times today, hey? Easy.
I mean, you know, before we No, yeah.
It felt good.
I'm happy you're happy.
You and Bobby.
Thanks.
And I'm happy for you and Alex.
Wait.
You knew? Really? We tried keeping it quiet.
Yeah, like that ever works.
I'm done.
That's the last one.
What the? Let's go, let's go! Let's get out of here! Go! Go! Look at 'em run.
They'll be halfway back to Yellowknife by tonight.
Stay down.
We've got to get to the claims office before them.
How? I've got a plan.
They're ripping up our stakes.
I'll go back with Jim.
You guys stay hidden until they're gone, and then you replace our stakes.
What? You mean, we have to do it all over again? If you want the gold.
I gave up Sunday rum for this? Krista? Where are you? Look, I need a helicopter.
What? I need you to come pick us up and then fly us to the claims office in Whitehorse.
You've got to be kidding.
Please, Krista.
Bobby, that is a long flight.
Look, this could be worth millions, possibly billions.
Well, you'd better hope so.
Yup.
Blake took the helicopter to pick up Bobby and Jim and fly them to the claims office.
Oh, and, uh, there's someone here for you.
Didn't expect to see you.
We made it.
We're gonna be millionaires! Go! Go! Go! Go! Outta my way, McAllister.
Over my dead body.
With pleasure.
Charlie? You're wasting your time.
Charlie McGray? I thought you were dead.
Well, I thought I was a goner.
Turned out I was just dried up.
Dehydration, doctor said.
Sorry to disappoint you boys.
Now, listen, I'd like to give you a little something for your troubles.
Something you can take to the bank.
Now, the next time you go staking a claim, make sure you get there first.
Hey! Where are the other two idiots? Uh they're I simply cannot pound in one more stake.
Just keep thinking about the gold.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking How hard is it to pound in a few stakes and get your asses over to the claims office? Get the hell out of my sight.
Now! Counting the plane, the helicopter, fuel for both, pilot time, lost mechanic hours $67,422 and 14 cents.
That's what your little gold rush cost us.
I should take it out of your salaries, but, just this once, I'll let it go.
From now on, when I say no, it's no, especially when it comes to half-cocked gold mining schemes.
It was a sure deal.
Until a dead guy came back to life, and you happened to fly him back You finished? Good.
Everyone back to work.
Except you.
Okay, look, I know.
They screwed up.
I should have stopped them somehow Charlie offered me for flying him to the claims office.
What? With any luck, it will way more than cover expenses.
Well, I'm glad to hear that worked out for you, Mel.
Just don't say a word about this to Bobby.
Oh, not a chance.
Well, that little gold rush only cost me three days' work.
But it was worth it.
It was hard, it was painful, we did not get any gold, but we had an adventure! Someday, we will try again! Hmm? Well, I guess it could've been worse.
The friggin' Comstocks could have got their hands on it.
And if anyone deserves that claim, it was Charlie.
To Charlie, then.
To Charlie.
To Charlie.
There's something I got to ask you.
As long as it has nothing to do with gold.
No You know, I shouldn't have offered you a drawer, or just a part of a closet, because I think you should have lots of drawers and lots of closets.
Look, I want to wake up with you every morning.
So I want you to move in with me.
Uh, Bobby I oh We've got a good thing.
Mm-hmm.
And I like my home.
My life.
And us.
I mean, why complicate it? So, it's not about commitment? No.
We're committed.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Right.
So drawer or no drawer? Maybe it's stupid, and maybe it's superstitious, but that scares me.
I don't want to change anything.
I don't want to mess up a great thing.
So, no drawer.
Just us.
Just, just the way we are.
All right.
Just keep leaving your clothes on the floor.
My place tonight? Absolutely.
After I broke off my engagement with Krista, I'm sure as hell not going to walk away just because it makes her uncomfortable to have me around.
Kimbo! "The Assassin" Comstock! Them Comstock brothers, got their fingers in all sorts of crap.
You're going down, McAllister.
We're experiencing some turbulence.
You'll have to fasten your seat belt, please.
Are you pilot or a friggin' stewardess? Here it is, what a beauty.
Please do not touch the seats with that greasy instrument.
- You're a cleaning lady, too, now, are you? - A pilot has many responsibilities search and rescue happen to be one of them? Well what? You think you can land down there? I can certainly try.
He's alive.
We're going to get you to a hospital.
We're going to fly you there.
It's too late, fellas.
I'm I'm all done in.
I didn't.
think I'd go this way.
Especially when I finally found Swiftwater Hank McGee's lost claim.
Yeah, sure, look, you just take it easy.
We'll get you to the hospital You can have the claim, fellas.
It's millions.
No good to me now.
Millions? There's a-a map.
In my cabin.
You stake the claim.
Millions.
Millions In gold.
All yours.
No, he's just passed out.
Gold? Millions? We're rich! Hey, relax.
Coffee in bed.
Oh, no.
I am not falling for that again.
What's the hurry? Uh, I'm late? You're late.
And I still have to go home and get my work clothes.
This is crazy.
Yeah, it is crazy.
Mel's totally on my ass about being late.
I mean this.
You running around and having to go home every morning.
And your stuff is just all over the place.
Okay, where is my Hmm? Ooh! Hello.
Look, I think you should be bringing your work clothes here.
And I'll give you a drawer to put your stuff in.
A drawer? I'll clean one out tonight! I'll see you at work.
It's too bad about the old man.
The doctors are very pessimistic.
Yeah, well, we all got to go sometime, and I guess today is Charlie McGray's time.
We should go to his cabin immediately.
What for? To find the map.
The gold.
Saltwater Hank.
It's "Swiftwater," by the way.
Swiftwater Hank.
That's just an old story.
A story with gold in it.
I would very much like to hear it.
Okay About a hundred years ago, a couple of trappers came across Hank dead in the bush, mauled by a grizzly.
Anyway, they found a note or something on him that said he'd found this great motherlode of gold.
Yeah, sure, right? Well, in his pocket they found a nugget the size of an orange.
Well, every prospector in the Yukon went looking for that gold, but nobody ever found it.
Until now! Dev Charlie is old.
He's dying.
You don't go off on a gold hunt because of crazy talk from some dying old man.
Well, he seemed very clear-headed to me.
Look, we can't just give up.
We should consult an expert.
Told you to cancel this a month ago.
If that mine takes off, we'll have a customer for years.
So you've been saying for months, and months.
It's putting us in the red.
Cancel it.
Mel's right.
Headwinds are terrible.
Fuel costs are sky high.
We've got to drop it.
You're porking her, and she's still on my side.
Think you might be wrong this time? Nice, Mel.
I'll deliver it myself.
And cover the fuel costs.
Cover the fuel costs.
Thank you for the help.
Mel's right.
You made a bad deal.
You're still mad about this morning.
This is business, not personal.
And, no, I'm not mad.
Was it the drawer thing? You need space? I'll give you a whole dresser.
Part of a closet even! Krista! Charlie McGray said he found swiftwater Hank's lost claim? Yup.
I told him it was all a crock, but he had to hear it from you, so Charlie McGray is one of the greatest prospectors of our time.
He's a legend.
If he said he found Swiftwater Hank's claim Then he has found it! I knew it! Shh! Shh! Lord liftin' We've got to find that map.
Gold millions in gold! Could be more, way more! Billions.
Let's go! Where are you going? Where do you think? Oh, I suppose you're going to want a cut.
We'll split it three ways.
But a third of a billion is only Three three Well, it is less than a half a billion anyway.
We'll give you 10%.
And where were you geniuses going to look for Charlie's cabin? Yeah.
That's what I thought.
And, of course, you know how to stake a gold claim.
A third of a billion should be quite sufficient.
Deal.
Shh! Shh! Oh, right, shh! Shh! Anyway None of this goes anywhere.
Shh! I just heard from a couple of Arctic Air guys that Charlie McGray found Swiftwater Hank's gold claim.
Boss! Boss, boss, boss Boss! Boss! Private call.
You're going to want to hear this, Bruce! I'll call you back.
You guys want to borrow a plane to look for gold in the Yukon? Are you guys crazy? We'll cut you in on the deal.
And there are all kinds of wild gold stories out there.
No, no, Charlie McGray told us If Charlie McGray was a great prospector, why isn't he rich? Charlie got cheated out of every claim he ever found.
But he found plenty.
Bobby, this is the real deal.
It's a solid lead! Look, I wish I could help, but Bobby, listen.
You know how long I've been waiting for a break like this, right? I mean, this could be the big one.
And I really need this, Bobby.
I'm going to regret this.
You're the best, Bobby! But that's millions.
For the loan of a plane? This is criminal.
Five? Deal.
I'll go prep the plane.
Greed is a terrible thing.
You need to get to gold river right away.
My guy at Arctic Air tells me that's where McAllister's heading.
I've got a plane waiting for you.
Do we get a piece of the action? Just make sure you beat McAllister to the claim.
Won't be a problem, boss.
Why the hell isn't that damn thing fixed and back on my plane? Because I was working on the beaver all morning.
Where the hell is Cece? He is in the Yukon, looking for gold.
Him and Dev and Jim.
Bobby let them take a plane.
Get that damn engine done now.
I want it done yesterday! Bobby! You gave my plane to the Three Stooges for some cockamamie gold rush? Your plane? I thought I owned a quarter of this company.
Okay.
You can loan out a quarter of a plane.
The rest is coming out of your pocket.
What's his problem? Well, you loaned out a plane without running it by us, and you gave a pilot and our head mechanic the day off without telling anybody.
Maybe that's his problem.
You're still mad at me, aren't you? I am not mad.
Why do you keep trying to make this personal? It is just business, Bobby.
I don't think Charlie's at his cabin right now.
Charlie's in the hospital.
He asked us to come and pick up a few things.
That's too bad.
He's a tough old bird.
I expect he'll bounce right back.
Yeah, I got two atvs I can rent you.
But there are three of us.
Well, if you want to wait for an hour or so, Eddie Logan'll be back from cutting brush.
An hour? Or, Heck Atkins should show up any time now.
He's got to start drinking before noon.
Of course He could've brought a bottle with him.
Is it absolutely necessary to hit every rock on the trail? You want to drive? It is only I have no junk in my trunk.
My bottom may never be the same again.
Well, it's not exactly as if I got a pillow under my skinny old arse either! Just keep thinking about the gold! I'm thinking, I'm thinking! We're never going to find a map in this mess.
You neglected to say Charlie was a slob.
I didn't know.
Perhaps we should all take a little break.
That's a good idea.
I've got to go to the outhouse anyway.
Wait.
This is it.
Yes! Uh uh Here, here, here We're right here.
And the gold is there.
It's a bit of a hike.
It's going to be worth it.
Okay, I-I-I gotta go Okay, okay, okay.
Don't you guys go anywhere without me Go, go, go! Hey, Jim.
Russell.
We want the map.
Map? Oh, come on, don't make us take it from you, McAllister.
Well, the last time you took something from me, it didn't turn out too well, now, did it, Kimbo? Last time, I was just playing.
This time, it's for real.
You know, we could just take it off your dead body.
You know, I might even prefer that.
There is no need for violence! The map is in here! Well Smart move.
Totally chickenshit, but smart.
Perhaps we can make an arrangement.
Share the gold.
Good idea.
Or let's make this arrangement.
You two, stay inside until we're gone, and you stay alive.
That, too, could work.
So long, Jimmy boy.
Hey.
We don't want anybody following us.
Good idea.
What do you mean stranded? The Comstocks.
They trashed our ATVs.
We need help.
No way.
You guys got yourselves into this, you can get yourselves out.
We're in the middle of nowhere, Bobby.
Exercise will do you good.
It shouldn't take you more than, what, two days? Give me that.
He's on his way.
No way I'm leaving a pilot and my chief mechanic stranded in the bush, even if they are numbskulls.
Get your ass in a plane.
I can't believe you gave them that map.
They might have killed you.
And all is not lost.
I took a photo.
Of the map.
I wasn't sure it would be clear enough, but look.
Huh? We can still find our way.
But it's too late.
The Comstocks are miles ahead of us.
They'll stake the claim and file before we even get there.
I wouldn't be too sure about that.
I put a handful of dirt in each one of their gas tanks.
I figure those engines should seize up any time now.
We're still in the game! Yes! We've got the map, and we lost McAllister and that other clown.
That's good.
Yeah, but there's just one hitch, Bruce.
What's the hitch? We lost the ATVs.
Gonna need new transportation.
Piece! Of! Crap! What's your location? I'll see what I can do.
Oddest damn thing.
Gold river's never been much of a tourist attraction until today.
What about your truck? Old Nellie? I could rent her to you.
But it would be a waste of your money.
You're not getting through there with a four by four.
How many guys you say you got to fetch? Three.
Well, I think I know somebody who can help you out.
Where's Bobby? If he doesn't get here soon, we'll never catch the Comstocks in time.
Well, you seem to forget, they're walking.
I don't care if they're crawling.
We're just sitting here.
Who the hell packed the grub? There's nothing but beans in here.
All Canadians love beans.
Cowboy food.
Yeah, well, that's why cowboys are a dying breed.
Oh, no, beans are a very healthy vegetarian option.
There's got to be some real food around here somewhere.
Beans More beans.
Don't they put anything else in cans these days? Well, let's at least have some coffee.
Lord love a duck.
Boys? Look what we got here.
Jim! Cece! You guys in there? Hey, Bobby, you should see Transportation back into town.
You see? Now we are cowboys! This adventure is getting better all the time.
There's no way you're getting me on one of them hay burners.
There's no way we're going back to town.
Why the hell not? This is why not.
You sure this is the real thing? It is most definitely sona! The Seed of Agni! The God of fire! There's enough gold in here to fill the teeth of a hundred pirates.
He did it.
Old Charlie found Swiftwater Hank's claim.
Well, let's go! God, that ATV was like riding in a rolls royce compared to this beast.
You are right.
Perhaps the cowboy life is not for everyone.
Hey, Jim, how many Miles do we have left? I'm thinking about 40.
All right, we should give these guys a rest.
That's a great idea.
Why don't we camp here for the night? Whoa My arse feels like it's been pinched by a hundred-pound lobster.
I, too, am feeling your pain.
Actually, no, it is my pain I'm feeling.
I'll set up the tents? No can do.
Horses can only carry so much, so, claiming stakes rate higher than tents.
Well, how did grub rate? I have these.
A dying breed, died of flatulence.
Good thing we're not staying in tents, then.
Oh, that's really funny.
He was supposed to bring back my pilot and mechanic, not bugger off! I think he just got swept away in the whole gold rush thing.
I'm gonna sweep him into his next life if he doesn't get his butt back here pronto.
I'm sure he'll be back in a couple of days.
At the latest.
What about tomorrow's flight to Fort Smith he was so keen on? I'll find somebody to cover it.
No.
You'll do it.
Everyone else is flying.
Blake can copilot.
Tomorrow is his day off.
Yeah.
Good luck with that.
You're not Marie Breakfast, boys! Let's eat up and get out of here.
Didn't know you could catch sardines in this part of the country.
I see that you're in a better mood this morning.
I had the most glorious sleep.
I dreamed I was sleeping in a den, cuddled up next to a bear.
Lucky you didn't get your head chewed off.
Hey! You seem a little jumpy.
Did you not sleep well? I slept just fine.
Just don't touch me.
Damn delivery truck's been delayed.
Guess that means we'll be waiting for a couple hours for the cargo.
Perfect.
My day off, and now we're going to be stuck for God knows how long.
Doesn't get any better than this.
Thanks, Bobby.
Well, we could grab a bite to eat at "He Left An Hour Ago.
" What? The local watering hole.
Best burgers in the north.
And they got a pool table.
Pool? No wonder he left.
Okay, well, I'm going into town, and you can come if you want.
What else am I going to do? You gotta relax in your saddle, Dev.
Loosen your reins a bit.
It is difficult to trust an animal who sleeps standing up.
Careful.
Horses can pick up on the attitude of their riders.
Okay, that's good to know.
Wait.
There they are! On ATVs! I thought you said you took care of those machines I did take care of those machines.
There's no way oh God's earth Let's go! Whoa! I'm thinking positive thoughts! Those aren't even the same friggin' ATVs.
There's the bridge.
Was a bridge.
So where did they go? They've got to be around here somewhere.
Aw, no bridge! Uh-oh! Sucks for you guys! See you later, suckers! Do we really have to do this? Just a game or two.
Do you even know how to play? A little.
You? I used to be pretty good.
Well then, you can teach me.
I can teach the lady how to hold a stick.
Excuse me? We're okay on our own.
Yeah, but it's my table.
Your table? Yup.
I'm the champ.
You wanna play here, you play me.
Okay.
We'll take you on.
Bad idea.
You said you were good.
Absolutely.
Really bad idea.
Now, because you're a girl, I'm gonna give you a two-ball handicap.
Thanks, but we'll just shoot straight up.
Woman's libber, eh? Well, you're gonna regret that, honey.
But I'm a gentleman, so I'm going to let you break.
Thanks.
Go ahead "Honey.
" Four ball, side pocket.
Well, this is gonna be fun.
That's okay.
We climb down, cross the river and go to the other side.
Are you completely off your nut? It's a hundred feet straight down to Hell.
Cece is right.
It's too dangerous.
You guys can go back.
I'm not giving up.
Nor am I.
Where is your sense of adventure? I'll tell you where it's not, down at the bottom of that river.
There might be a way to a river crossing.
There's a hill with a goat trail about a mile from here.
Yes.
All right, let's go, let's go! "Small hill," he called it.
My God.
Oh, my God Oh, my God.
Where's your sense of adventure now, kid? I believe it has been swallowed by my sphincter.
Yours and mine both.
I hate heights! I am not loving them either.
Dear sweet Lord, I swear, you get me down out of here alive, and I will quit drinking dark rum.
On Sundays.
Game.
Boy, it's like having my own ATM here.
Again.
Are you sure? I could take your money all day long, blondie.
Give us a chance to get even.
Let's make it 200.
Uh, Krista? We've already lost twice.
You want to throw more money away? Hey, buddy.
Your girl wants to play.
Maybe you should take a hike? Yeah? And why don't you shut the Okay, let's Just rack 'em.
Right.
I think I'll take this one.
Ah, catch me! That was most incredible.
Truly transcendental.
I have never felt so alive.
Cece! Did you You can do it! Think of the gold, my friend! I am thinking! I'm thinking I'm gonna take a dirt nap.
Come on, Cece! You can do it! You've just got to keep moving.
You keep moving! I'll just wait here until you get back.
We're never going to catch them at this rate.
University costs 15 grand a year! That's 60 grand per degree.
Times seven kids, that's 420,000 for the lot! All right.
That's it! That's it! Way to go, Cece! Keep moving, keep moving.
Whoa! Are you okay? Yeah.
You are a regular spiderman.
And you are a regular idjit.
Okay, you guys, come on.
We gotta get moving.
Eight ball, corner.
Yeah, right.
Yes! Okay, time to go.
I was just starting to have fun.
If you don't leave now, they're going to break your thumbs.
I believe I have just been hustled.
What? This is it.
This is Charlie's claim! We made it! We made it, we made it Hi-diddly-diddly Hey, hey, hey Charlie still had a couple of days to file his claim.
Poor guy never had any luck.
So, what do we do now? We pound in our stakes.
What for? I mean, there's got to be stakes all over the place here, why don't we just put our name on 'em? No, we're not doing that.
Charlie's stay.
Out of respect for the old man.
Well, how many of our stakes do we need? About 40? What are you talking about, 40? Four posts per claim.
Is that all? Well, if it was easy, everyone would be doing it.
Start your engines.
You are a hustler.
You were gonna hustle me until that cowboy came along.
Sorry.
Habit.
Some kids baby-sat.
I played pool.
I wouldn't have taken your money.
Yeah.
Oh, God, the look on that guy's face when you beat him? That was worth the trip.
God, it felt like old times today, hey? Easy.
I mean, you know, before we No, yeah.
It felt good.
I'm happy you're happy.
You and Bobby.
Thanks.
And I'm happy for you and Alex.
Wait.
You knew? Really? We tried keeping it quiet.
Yeah, like that ever works.
I'm done.
That's the last one.
What the? Let's go, let's go! Let's get out of here! Go! Go! Look at 'em run.
They'll be halfway back to Yellowknife by tonight.
Stay down.
We've got to get to the claims office before them.
How? I've got a plan.
They're ripping up our stakes.
I'll go back with Jim.
You guys stay hidden until they're gone, and then you replace our stakes.
What? You mean, we have to do it all over again? If you want the gold.
I gave up Sunday rum for this? Krista? Where are you? Look, I need a helicopter.
What? I need you to come pick us up and then fly us to the claims office in Whitehorse.
You've got to be kidding.
Please, Krista.
Bobby, that is a long flight.
Look, this could be worth millions, possibly billions.
Well, you'd better hope so.
Yup.
Blake took the helicopter to pick up Bobby and Jim and fly them to the claims office.
Oh, and, uh, there's someone here for you.
Didn't expect to see you.
We made it.
We're gonna be millionaires! Go! Go! Go! Go! Outta my way, McAllister.
Over my dead body.
With pleasure.
Charlie? You're wasting your time.
Charlie McGray? I thought you were dead.
Well, I thought I was a goner.
Turned out I was just dried up.
Dehydration, doctor said.
Sorry to disappoint you boys.
Now, listen, I'd like to give you a little something for your troubles.
Something you can take to the bank.
Now, the next time you go staking a claim, make sure you get there first.
Hey! Where are the other two idiots? Uh they're I simply cannot pound in one more stake.
Just keep thinking about the gold.
I'm thinking, I'm thinking How hard is it to pound in a few stakes and get your asses over to the claims office? Get the hell out of my sight.
Now! Counting the plane, the helicopter, fuel for both, pilot time, lost mechanic hours $67,422 and 14 cents.
That's what your little gold rush cost us.
I should take it out of your salaries, but, just this once, I'll let it go.
From now on, when I say no, it's no, especially when it comes to half-cocked gold mining schemes.
It was a sure deal.
Until a dead guy came back to life, and you happened to fly him back You finished? Good.
Everyone back to work.
Except you.
Okay, look, I know.
They screwed up.
I should have stopped them somehow Charlie offered me for flying him to the claims office.
What? With any luck, it will way more than cover expenses.
Well, I'm glad to hear that worked out for you, Mel.
Just don't say a word about this to Bobby.
Oh, not a chance.
Well, that little gold rush only cost me three days' work.
But it was worth it.
It was hard, it was painful, we did not get any gold, but we had an adventure! Someday, we will try again! Hmm? Well, I guess it could've been worse.
The friggin' Comstocks could have got their hands on it.
And if anyone deserves that claim, it was Charlie.
To Charlie, then.
To Charlie.
To Charlie.
There's something I got to ask you.
As long as it has nothing to do with gold.
No You know, I shouldn't have offered you a drawer, or just a part of a closet, because I think you should have lots of drawers and lots of closets.
Look, I want to wake up with you every morning.
So I want you to move in with me.
Uh, Bobby I oh We've got a good thing.
Mm-hmm.
And I like my home.
My life.
And us.
I mean, why complicate it? So, it's not about commitment? No.
We're committed.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Right.
So drawer or no drawer? Maybe it's stupid, and maybe it's superstitious, but that scares me.
I don't want to change anything.
I don't want to mess up a great thing.
So, no drawer.
Just us.
Just, just the way we are.
All right.
Just keep leaving your clothes on the floor.
My place tonight? Absolutely.